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So many of us have handed our spouse a job description they were never meant to fill, to notice our every need, validate our worth, provide our purpose, and keep us feeling seen, alive, and whole. And when they fall short, we feel unnoticed, disappointed, and we start to wonder if something is wrong with the marriage. In this opening series episode, Christa asks a different question: what if the problem is not your spouse, and not your marriage, but the weight of an impossible expectation? She explores the real ache of feeling unnoticed by the person closest to you, why one human being simply cannot be your entire world, and how your instinctual wiring, whether self-preservation, social, or sexual, shapes exactly what you long for your spouse to notice. Along the way she offers a warm challenge, do not be afraid to be the one who loves first, as well as practical, hopeful ways to tend your own aliveness, worth, and purpose so you can actually free your spouse to love you well. Because the less you need them to be everything, the more you get to enjoy who they truly are. Listen here! Watch on YouTube! Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Take the E + M Quiz at www.QuizforCouples.com Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here! Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
What does it really mean to have an open heart?Many of us think an open heart simply means being kind or emotionally vulnerable. But what if it's actually about something deeper? What if an open heart is a teachable heart... one that's willing to stay curious, listen well, and continue growing throughout every season of life?In this episode of Strength in Numbers, Jilann begins the final month of the Quiet Strength: The Power of Heart Postures series by exploring how curiosity and humility shape healthy leadership. Through practical insights and the Enneagram's Harmony (Harmonic) Triads, you'll discover how your natural response to challenges can either keep your heart open to growth or slowly close it off.If you've ever found yourself assuming you already know the answer, becoming set in your ways, or struggling to remain open to new perspectives, this episode offers a gentle invitation to lead with curiosity instead of certainty.What an open heart really is, and what it isn'tWhy curiosity is one of the greatest strengths of a quiet leaderHow the Enneagram's Harmony Triads influence the way you respond to life's challengesHow humility and teachability strengthen your leadership and relationshipsReflection questions to help you remain open to growth in everyday lifeWhy staying curious creates trust, deeper connection, and lasting personal growthYou'll also hear about the Quiet Strength Gathering, a monthly online community where quiet leaders connect, reflect, and encourage one another as they continue growing together.Keywords: quiet leadership, open heart, personal growth, leadership development, teachability, curiosity, Enneagram, Harmony Triads, Harmonic Groups, authentic leadership, Christian leadership, women in leadership, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, Strength in Numbers podcast.
Michelle Martin gets up close with a personality typology system that can help explain why people react so differently to the very same situation. In the first episode of a new Live Well with Michelle series, Michelle Martin sits down with Cindy Leong, Founder of The Enneagram Academy, to explore the Enneagram, they unpack what sets the Enneagram apart from other personality models, why it focuses on our core motivations rather than just behaviour, and how understanding your type can reveal hidden strengths, blind spots, and recurring patterns in relationships and at work. This episode lays the foundation for a series that will explore each of the nine Enneagram types in depth.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Flashback podcast! Een aantal jaren terug in de tijd voor een gesprek dat met behulp van Adobe Podcast Enhancer nu een stuk beter klinkt. Luister je ook al Filosofie Radio? Kan heel makkelijk via de RadioNed app of http://mayoradio.nl
Description:Some yeses cost us something. Some of them save us.Jen sits down with her partner, actor, author, and speaker Tyler Merritt, hours after his chemotherapy infusion. Tyler is midway through treatment for colorectal cancer, his second diagnosis in six years, and the two get honest about making thoughtful decisions when your body is calling every shot.They talk about the yes Tyler gave in the middle of radiation: booking a brand-new theater tour that opens seventeen days after his last chemo, a yes he says he "arguably shouldn't have" given, made so he'd have something beautiful to walk toward. Jen turns the lens on her own year and the yes she almost took back: getting on the plane to Me Camp after a hysterectomy, a brutal spring, and a boyfriend in chemo two thousand miles away.Tyler also flips the mic and asks Jen whether she regrets writing AWAKE. Her answer is about closure, discretion, and the two longest weeks of her life waiting to hear what her daughter thought of the book.Plus: how to tell your intuition from everybody else's fear, Jen's top three Me Camp TV experiences, one Enneagram argument, and the one yes Tyler is still too scared to say out loud.Thought-provoking Quotes:"There is something absolutely sacred in choosing your body in a time period where it may not be convenient." — Tyler"Rest is the thing that I choose. Rest is my sacred yes." — Tyler"It's not a yes that feels obligated. It's not coerced. It isn't even careless. It's thoughtful. It is baked in with wisdom." — Jen"In the midst of the fire, I made the decision to do something that would be difficult if I was just healthy." — Tyler"When someone else puts their caution on your yes, that can be a real governor on forward progress." — Jen"The sacred yes I'm afraid to say out loud is that I'm going to be okay." — TylerResources Mentioned in This Episode:AWAKE by Jen HatmakerI Take My Coffee Black by Tyler MerrittTyler's new theater tour, opening August 28Me Camp, the Enneagram, and Jeremy PopeJohn Candy: I Like Me, Widows Bay, The Bear, The Five-Star WeekendGuest's Links:Website - thetylermerrittproject.comInstagram - @thetylermerrittprojectTwitter - @TTMProjectFacebook - The Tyler Merritt ProjectYoutube - The Tyler Merritt ProjectConnect with Jen! Jen's Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/Jen's Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmaker Jen's Twitter -
Close partners sculpt one another by drawing out each other's ideal self, as we learn from the Michelangelo phenomenon, we find that couples who idealize each other are more likely to last and even grow into the best version the other sees in them, Christa explores how love, at its healthiest, is not blind but prescient. She also names the wise center of it all: we are not called to flatter a partner in ways that leave them feeling unseen, but to idealize their virtues while still truly knowing their reality, holding both grace and honesty at once. And she names the shadow side, the Pygmalion pattern, where a critical gaze draws out the lesser self, because we are always sculpting one another, the only question is in which direction. A beautiful, research-grounded invitation to catch the best in the person you love, and call out the self they are still becoming. Listen here! Watch on YouTube! Get the Awakening Intimacy Journal here! Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Take the E + M Quiz at www.QuizforCouples.com Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here! Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Why personality tests can explain a lot, but they are not your identity. Have you ever known exactly what you were supposed to do and done the opposite thing anyway? You know the plan. You know you should rest instead of reaching for a snack. And somehow you end up in the pantry anyway. In this episode, I sit down with life coach Kelly Tibbitts for a podcast swap. Kelly is an expert in the Enneagram and human design, and we talk about why knowing what to do and actually doing it are two completely different jobs. Kelly used something as simple as a grocery cart in a parking lot to explain why two people can look at the same task and have a completely different, deeply held opinion about the right way to handle it. Once you hear it, you'll probably recognize yourself or someone you love immediately. We also get into people pleasing, perfectionism, and a simple tool for feeling a feeling instead of eating over it. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why knowing what to do and doing it can feel like two different jobs How people pleasing quietly shows up around food A simple three step tool for feeling a feeling instead of eating it Why perfectionism is really about safety, not about getting things right How guilt-free rest can be a real weight loss tool Key Takeaway Your patterns make sense. The way you're wired explains why you reach for food, why you push through instead of resting, and why rest can feel impossible to give yourself. None of that means something is wrong with you. Once you understand your own wiring, you can trade judgment for grace. And underneath the wiring, underneath the patterns, the part of you that already knows who she is has been there the whole time. Listen If You've Ever Thought… "Why do I know what to do and still not do it?" "I feel guilty every time I actually rest." "Why does she handle this so differently than I do?" "Am I a perfectionist, or is something else going on?" Learn More About Kelly Tibbitts Website https://kellytibbitts.com Live a Vibrant Life Podcast: https://coachkellytibbitts.buzzsprout.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kelly_tibbitts/ Want More? If this episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to subscribe to The Confident Body Podcast. Every week we talk about the mental and emotional side of weight loss, the part that diets never cover. We cover things like sustainable weight loss, emotional eating, self-trust around food, and how to break free from diet rules that have never worked long term. Because the goal isn't just to lose the weight. It's to become someone who knows how to keep it off and feel good while doing it. Leave a review if this episode helped you. It only takes thirty seconds and it helps other women find the show. Get the book my new book LIGHT: The New Psychology of Weight Loss Check out my new Substack page! You'll get bonus articles, inspiration, and wisdom. Plus some extra goodies I've got rolled up my sleeve. Check it out at: https://substack.com/@coachlizziemerritt PS: Ever had that moment when you just WANT it? Your brain doesn't care if you're hungry. It just tastes SO good and you just want it. If that's you, then download the guide I JUST WANT IT. IT TASTES SO GOOD at: confidentbody.coach/wantit Also, check out my first book: You Are A Miracle
Check out The Coven Try the Free Enneagram Quiz!!!! Message me on Instagram @Angie.Alchemist and ask all your Enneagram questions! OR email me at angiealchemy@gmail.com Check out more at AngieAlchemist.com
Years ago, I sat in a room at a former job and took a personality assessment that changed my life. I looked around and realized: I'm nothing like anyone else here. In this episode, the fourth key in my five-part series on building a six-figure business with location freedom, I'm geeking out on personal assessments, especially human design. I share the exact month I first understood my human design type, and why that same month became my first-ever $10,000 month in business. You'll hear: Why "this is hard" doesn't always mean "try harder," and how my dad's advice on giving up actually changed how I approach my work What being an INFJ and a Human Design Generator taught me about how I get energy, and how I lose it Why building a business that responds to opportunity (instead of forcing it into existence) changed everything for me How understanding my own wiring changed the way I work with authors on their books A caution about taking advice from coaches whose path isn't built like yours Whether you're into human design, Myers-Briggs, the Enneagram, or something else entirely, this episode is an invitation to get curious about your own energy and build your work around what's actually true for you. Catch up on the series: Episode 174 — How I Built a Six-Figure Business with Location Freedom Episode 175 — From Burnout to Book: How Publishing a Book Changed My Life Episode 178 — Leading with You: How Authenticity Built My Business Episode 188 — Stop Selling Hours, Start Selling Who They Become Curious what your own path could look like? If you're an author with a book in you and you want to build something that actually fits who you are, let's talk. Book a free consult with Elizabeth here If you are curious about Human Design, here's a link to getting your free chart: https://candyybarone.bodygraph.cc Learn more at greenheartliving.com and follow along on Facebook at facebook.com/greenheartliving.
Send us Fan MailWhat are Enneagram wings, and what do they actually have to do with your relationships? In this midsummer detour from our Year Through the Types series, Amy breaks down what wings are (and aren't), why they matter for your faith and your relationships, and how to stop "flying in circles" in the patterns you don't love.In this episode:What Enneagram wings really are The common misconception most people have about wingsA live example: the Enneagram Five's two wings (5w4 Iconoclast and 5w6 Advocate)A quick-reference tour of how every type's wings show up differentlyWhether you already know your type or you're just getting started, this episode will help you move from information to transformation.Support the showRESOURCES FOR YOU:Join the Waitlist for 1:1 Coaching with Amy Wickshttps://www.simplywholehearted.com/callamywicksNot sure about your Enneagram Type? Start here: https://www.simplywholehearted.com/enneagramquizEnnea-what? The Beginners Guide to the Enneagram(free course + printables)https://bit.ly/Enneagram101GuideConnect with Amy:IGWebsite
“It's too easy to look back at sciences of the past and say they were all fools. The exact same thing is gonna happen two hundred years from now when people look back at us.” — Paul Stob on the lessons of phrenology Step right up. Over the road from P.T. Barnum's American Museum in 19th century New York stood the city's more metaphorical circus — the Phrenological Cabinet, where admission was free and you could hold a murderer's skull in your hand. After the Barnum museum, it was the second most popular show in town. Although back then phrenology — the supposed science of skull size and head bumps — wasn't seen as the province of tricksters or clowns. So who created this 19th century American obsession with skulls, who created the phrenology phenomenon? In his new book, Empire of Skulls, the Vanderbilt scholar Paul Stob tells the phrenology story through the wealthy Fowler family — Orson, Lorenzo, and Charlotte — who financed and promoted this American circus. It was the Fowlers, Stob explains, who shaped phrenology into the intellectual glue of 19th century American progress and convinced reformers like Walt Whitman, Susan B. Anthony, John Brown, and Elizabeth Cady Stanton of its social value. The appeal was self-improvement, that most American ideal. In Europe, your skull was your fate; in Fowler's America, you could supposedly reshape your brain like a bicep in order to grow new bumps. A gym for skulls. And, in P.T. Barnum fashion, it toured, bringing replica skull collections to the utopian communes of mid 19th century America. And in good (or bad) American fashion, this bunk often had a darker subtext with skulls pilfered from native burial mounds and, inevitably, a slaveholding phrenologist wing. Not everyone bought a ticket. Mark Twain visited Lorenzo Fowler's London depot incognito and was told his skull shape indicated an absence of humor. Three months later, he reappeared, this time as Twain, and got the reverse prognosis. But what finally killed phrenology wasn't Twain but the hitherto unparalleled bloodshed of the Civil War. Not even the Fowlers could glean much positive from the mountains of actual skulls at Gettysburg or Antietam. The circus had ended. Now it's the Fowlers who are the freaks. We gawk at them rather than their skulls. Step right up. The show must go on. Five Takeaways • The Intellectual Glue of American Reform. From the 1830s to the 1860s — the era of reform — practically every movement to improve the young republic was led by believers in phrenology: abolition, women's suffrage, temperance, prison and education reform. Whitman, Susan B. Anthony, John Brown, Stanton, and Mott were all sympathetic; Orson Fowler barnstormed Massachusetts with his Amherst friend Henry Ward Beecher, who swore by phrenology for the rest of his life; John Brown Jr. worked at the Fowlers' Phrenological Cabinet until Bleeding Kansas called him west. The reason was one word: improvement. Even the enslaved, the phrenologists argued, must be freed — because every human being deserves the chance to improve.• Curl Your Brain Like a Bicep. European phrenology said your skull was your fate. The Fowlers Americanized it: exercise a mental faculty, they taught, and the brain deposits new gray matter that literally pushes out the skull — self-improvement you could measure with calipers. Parents brought children for readings, returned years later, and found the head had grown just as prescribed: to the Fowlers, concrete proof. The ideal male head measured twenty-three inches around, the female twenty-two — women started in a different place, but nothing said they couldn't climb. And in 1843's Hereditary Descent, Orson made an argument radical for his century: that race mixing was a positive good for humanity.• Second Only to Barnum. For three decades the Fowlers' Phrenological Cabinet at Clinton Hall — free of charge, unlike the American Museum kitty-corner across the street — was the second most visited tourist attraction in New York City. Visitors could hold a murderer's skull and feel for themselves why he killed, or trace the bumps of statesmen and writers. The empire was literal: the global skull trade of the era, from Samuel Morton's Crania Americana to skulls pilfered from native burial mounds, stocked the shelves. The Fowlers were millionaires, not billionaires — and Orson spent his share on a sixty-room octagon mansion, flagship of the 500-odd octagon houses he inspired across America.• Twain's Two Visits — and the Birth of “Pseudoscience.” Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr. said reading a brain through a skull was like reading the inside of a safe by feeling the knob — and coined the word “pseudoscience” specifically for the phrenologists. Mark Twain ran the experiment: visiting Lorenzo Fowler's London depot incognito, he was told his organ of mirthfulness was a divot; three months later, business card presented, it was off the charts. Stob still insists on calling phrenology a science — because that is how its era understood it, because it was more accurate than much of the competition, and because one of the fathers of American neurology emerged from the Fowlers' own circle.• We Are the Phrenologists Now. What killed phrenology was the Civil War: three decades of promising heaven on earth ran skull first into carts of actual skulls, and the utopia of self-improvement died on the battlefield. But the impulse never did. Phrenology, Stob argues, was self-help before the word existed — and its descendants fill the airport bookstore: astrology, Myers-Briggs, the Enneagram, the genetic ancestry kit, all of them, in his words, scientifically garbage yet enormously significant in people's lives. The uncharitable reading of the past is a trap. In two hundred years, Stob warns, they will look back at our sciences of the self exactly the way we look at the Fowlers. About the Guest Paul Stob is Director of the Program in American Studies at Vanderbilt University, where he also teaches in the Department of Communication Studies and the Program in the Communication of Science and Technology. His research focuses on nineteenth-century American intellectual culture — religion, democracy, populism, and social movements. He is co-author, with Stephen Lucas, of The Art of Public Speaking, now in its fourteenth edition. His first trade book is Empire of Skulls: Phrenology, the Fowler Family, and a New Nation's Quest to Unlock the Secrets of the Mind (Counterpoint, April 14, 2026). References: • Empire of Skulls: Phrenology, the Fowler Family, and a New Nation's Quest to Unlock the Secrets of the Mind by Paul Stob (Counterpoint, April 2026). Jennifer Wright in The New York Times Book Review: “A thoroughly researched and intriguing work.”• The Gospel According to Hobby Lobby by Michael Blanding — the recent Keen On episode on the Greens, this show's previous installment of ...
We often treat physical intimacy as something that happens only in the moment, but the body carries far more than the moment. It carries our history, our stress, and our old wounds, everything it has learned about whether it is safe to open. Drawing on Bessel van der Kolk's landmark work, The Body Keeps the Score, Christa explores how stress and trauma live not just in the mind but in the body itself, and how, when a person who has been hurt tries to be close, the body can tense, freeze, or flood with anxiety before the mind ever gets a vote. She gently unpacks why couples so often misread this as rejection when it is really the nervous system keeping the score of something old, why pushing through only re-teaches the body that intimacy is unsafe, and how the body comes back online, slowly, through safety, patience, warm touch, and the freedom to stop. Most of all, she offers a word of hope: a body that protects itself is one that once needed protecting, and it can learn a new score, written in the language of safety rather than force. If this is your story or your spouse's, this episode will meet you with real gentleness. Listen here! Watch on YouTube! Get the Awakening Intimacy Journal here! Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Take the E + M Quiz at www.QuizforCouples.com Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here! Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Robin rambles about surviving another swampy D.C. summer, a Verizon customer service rant after a World Cup watch party internet scare, a week of training on addiction and disordered eating through the Cape Cod Institute, and debuts his new blog article, What Looks Like Defensiveness Is Often Shame in Disguise.He also shares an instrumental track from No Pterodactyls, introduces his latest Insight Timer talk on the inner critic, and previews upcoming conversations with Jessica Dibb, Laura Goldstein, Chris Hancock, and Dr. Ifeanyi Olele.Featured Track - "Plink" by No Pterodactyls (Album: Next Thing I Know)Catch them: July 30 – The Delancey (New York City) August 1 – Gulu-Gulu Café (Salem, MA) Community Spotlight:The Grow Group for Women with Sarah Boone, MS, LCPC, NCCA six-week women's growth group integrating nature-based practices and Enneagram-informed insights beginning this September.Learn more:www.sarahboonecounseling.comGet in touch:robinsmithshow@gmail.comCall the hotline:(301) 458-0883Follow Robin on Insight Timer:https://insighttimer.com/robinsmithBook an appointment:https://robin-smith.clientsecure.me/request/serviceBecome a supporter on Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/therobinsmithshowGot a question? We'd love to hear from you!
This week, we offer an exclusive For the Journey conversation between Rev. Bill Haley and Dr. Jason Swan Clark, a pastor, theologian, spiritual director, and currently the Director of the London Centre for Spiritual Direction. Jason shares deeply from his journey to and through faith, opening up many wonderful rabbit trails for Bill to follow on theosis, Ignatian spirituality, ecumenism, and even the Enneagram.Learn More About Spiritual Direction through Coracleinthecoracle.org | @inthecoracleSupport the showFor the Journey is a resource of the Coracle Center of Formation for Action and is made possible through the generous support of men and women across the globe.
What You'll Hear in This EpisodeType 5s have done the analysis; they're not reactive, and when they say something, it's because they actually mean it. There's no noise, no filler, no performance. But the same striving to feel detached and self-sufficient that makes Fives so precise can also make feedback land as robotic, delayed, or so carefully constructed that the person on the other end isn't sure whether they're being evaluated or actually talked to.We walk through three things to do and three things to avoid when giving feedback as a Type 5, including a specific phrase you can try that frames the feedback as information rather than judgment, which is exactly how a Five experiences it internally anyway.3 Things to DO as a Type 5 When Giving FeedbackLet your precision work for you. Fives give some of the most specific, well-observed feedback of any type, you notice things other people miss, and you can articulate them clearly. That's genuinely valuable. Lead with the observation rather than the conclusion, and let the other person follow your thinking. That approach is more collaborative than it might feel from the inside.Say it sooner than feels comfortable. Fives tend to process internally until the feedback is fully formed, which often means it arrives later than it should. A half-formed observation shared in the moment is more useful than a perfectly constructed one delivered three weeks after it would have made a difference. Done is better than perfect here.Add one human sentence. You don't need to over-explain or get emotional. That's not who you are, and it doesn't need to be. But one sentence that signals you're invested in the person, not just the performance, changes the entire tone of the conversation. Something small and genuine goes further than you'd expect.3 Things to AVOID as a Type 5 When Giving FeedbackDelivering feedback like a report. Fives can present feedback so analytically ..."here's what I observed, here's what it means, here's what should change..." that it lands as clinical rather than caring. The data is right. The delivery just needs one degree more warmth to make it land the way you actually intend it to.Waiting until you have the complete picture. Fives are thorough and genuinely uncomfortable speaking until they're certain. But feedback delayed until every variable is accounted for is often feedback that arrives too late to actually change anything. The other person needed it two weeks ago, so give them the useful version now.Skipping the follow-up. Fives give the feedback and consider the matter handled. But the other person often needs a check-in afterward, not to relitigate what was said, just to know the relationship is intact and that you're still in their corner. A brief "how are you sitting with what we talked about?" matters more than it might seem from where you're standing.A Phrase to Try:"I want to share something I've been observing. I think it's useful and I think you'll want to know it."After listening:If this resonated, share it with a Type 5 on your team or the manager who leads one. Want type-specific prompts for feedback conversations across all nine types? The Manager's Prompt Pack has you covered. Grab it at enneagrammba.com/resources.Interested in bringing this kind of practical Enneagram insight to your whole team? We'd love to talk about a workshop or retreat. Reach out at enneagrammba.com.Have a request for a future episode? Drop a text here!
Here's something I've noticed after years of teaching the Enneagram: there's usually a moment when someone who knows their type well suddenly encounters something that doesn't fit. A behavior they can't explain. A pattern that seems to contradict everything their type is supposed to do. More often than not, the answer lives in the instincts. In this episode — Episode 3 of our Enneagram Essentials series — Anthony and I go into one of the most undertaught concepts in popular Enneagram culture: the three instinctual drives. Every human being is wired with three biological survival drives — Self-Preservation, Social, and Sexual (or One-to-One). These aren't psychological preferences. They're primal. They predate the ego. And they operate in a hierarchy — which means that depending on which instinct fires first for you, two people of the same Enneagram type can look almost nothing alike. We walk through all three instincts in detail: what each is oriented toward, what it looks like in everyday life, what its shadow side is, and how to start identifying which one is dominant for you. We also talk about the Repressed instinct — the drive that tends to be most underdeveloped — and why understanding it can explain a remarkable amount of friction in your closest relationships. If you've ever felt like your type description is about 80% accurate and you can't figure out what the other 20% is — take a deeper look at instincts. **This episode is part of the Enneagram Essentials series. Episode 4 builds directly on today's content, so listen in order if you can.
Happy International Lonely Guy Friday, broadcasting from Athens with limited Greek, Coke Zero investigations, and billion-dollar brains. Today Kev gets into how one of Greece's biggest stars proves you don't need the biggest audience (you need the right niche!), and how a working vacation led to a humbling realization that the world's most fulfilled people share one uncommon trait: extraordinary self-awareness. He chats how the Enneagram goes beyond describing what you do and uncovers why you do it: what you fear, what drives you, and how your personality changes under stress. How the same behavior can come from completely different emotional engines, and why understanding those motives can transform relationships, leadership, and even your family. Then, how your greatest strength can quietly become your greatest limitation and how replacing “That's just who I am” with “That's the strategy I learned to use” can completely change how you see yourself. Kev also discovers he's a Type 2 Helper with strong Achiever and Challenger traits and why that explains a lifetime of building, protecting, overextending, and occasionally forgetting himself along the way. Plus, how successful families hold regular meetings to improve their relationships, why awareness is the ultimate competitive advantage, and why there are people in the castle and equally valuable people on the ground. Also, why simply showing up opens unexpected doors … and why the opportunity you're waiting for may already be waiting for you. Bye Betches! Join us at our Canyon Ranch 2026 Retreat: https://www.canyonranch.com/lenox/retreats/heal-retreat-maria-menounos HEAL SQUAD SOCIALS IG: https://www.instagram.com/healsquad/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healsquadxmaria HEAL SQUAD RESOURCES: Heal Squad Website:https://www.healsquad.com/ Heal Squad x Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealSquad/membership Maria Menounos Website: https://www.mariamenounos.com My Curated Macy's Page: Shop My Macy's Storefront EMR-Tek Red Light: https://emr-tek.com/discount/Maria30 for 30% off Airbnb: https://www.airbnb.com/host ABOUT MARIA MENOUNOS: Emmy Award-winning journalist, TV personality, actress, 2x NYT best-selling author, former pro-wrestler and brain tumor survivor, Maria Menounos' passion is to see others heal and to get better in all areas of life. ABOUT HEAL SQUAD x MARIA MENOUNOS: A daily digital talk-show that brings you the world's leading healers, experts, and celebrities to share groundbreaking secrets and tips to getting better in all areas of life. DISCLAIMER: This Podcast and all related content (published or distributed by or on behalf of Maria Menounos or http://Mariamenounos.com and http://healsquad.com) is for informational purposes only and may include information that is general in nature and that is not specific to you. Any information or opinions provided by guest experts or hosts featured within website or on Company's Podcast are their own; not those of Maria Menounos or the Company. Accordingly, Maria Menounos and the Company cannot be responsible for any results or consequences or actions you may take based on such information or opinions. This podcast is presented for exploratory purposes only. Published content is not intended to be used for preventing, diagnosing, or treating a specific illness. If you have, or suspect you may have, a health-care emergency, please contact a qualified health care professional for treatment.
Today's bonus episode of Everything Belongs features hosts Mike Petrow, Carmen Acevedo Butcher, and Drew Jackson in conversation with Chichi Agorom, author of The Enneagram for Black Liberation: Return to Who You Are Beneath the Armor You Carry. Listen in to explore Chichi's key insights: Our Enneagram type can be like a suit of armor: protective but sometimes restrictive. She defines vulnerability as a willingness to be impacted without controlling the outcome. Her three-part framework of power: power over, power within, and power with. Why collective, shared power matters, especially in moments of cultural upheaval. The distinction between information, knowledge, and embodied wisdom. Chichi closes by reflecting on how each Enneagram type carries its own “superpower” that can serve the collective when held with awareness rather than defensiveness. Today's episode asks us each: Can we see healing not as a solo pursuit, but as a collective effort moving us towards mutual liberation? Find the transcript for this episode here. Sign Up for The Enneagram Email Series Deepen your journey with the Enneagram. Sign up for monthly reflections, practices, and resources that connect the contemplative wisdom with your daily life. https://cac.org/belongs2026/ Additional Enneagram Resources: The Enneagram: An Introduction: A brief introduction to this tool and a compilation of different resources curated for those longing to better understand and have compassion for themselves and others. Enneagram as a Tool for Your Spiritual Journey: Use the offer code POD35 to get 35% off this foundational Enneagram teaching from Fr. Richard Rohr and Episode 2 guest Russ Hudson. The Enneagram & Grace: Richard Rohr and Russ Hudson offer a deep study of the Enneagram as a practice to nurture transformation for ourselves and compassion for the world. Use POD35 to get 35% off your order. Follow us on Instagram. How can your wounds lead to wisdom? Discover topics about what your number might be trying to teach you. Join the conversation on Facebook. Share wisdom with others on the Enneagram journey. Pick up a copy of Fr. Richard's book The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective. Connect With Us: Have a question you'd like ask the team to answer about this season? Email us: podcasts@cac.org Send us a voicemail: cac.org/voicemail
To learn more about Cross Points, check out our website:http://crosspointschurch.comTo stay up to date, check out our social media:Instagram: @crosspointskcFacebook: Cross Points ChurchYoutube: CrossPointsKC
Who am I now? There is a moment many women reach somewhere in the middle of life when this question rises to the surface and won't go away.This question is often sparked by a role that has shifted or a relationship that has changed. Whatever the trigger, this is not a midlife crisis; it's an invitation.I'm joined by midlife transition coach Jennifer Stanley to talk about how to turn life's “what now?” moments from crises into powerful invitations for growth. We're going deep on why leaders who embrace this question step into richer, more meaningful chapters, not just for themselves, but for everyone counting on them. Jennifer Stanley is a midlife transition coach for women and an Enneagram educator and coach. She specializes in helping women navigate midlife transitions with greater clarity, confidence, and purpose. Jennifer guides women in rediscovering who they are, what matters most, and how they want to live the second half of life.You'll discover how self-awareness, agency, and community can completely transform your path as a leader and as a person. By the end of this episode, you'll have new language, practical steps, and fresh hope for both leading yourself and supporting others through life's transitions.Leadership Lesson Highlights(00:00) Midlife Clarity for Women Leaders: “Who am I now?” is the leadership question that changes everything(04:07) What your tiredness is telling you(05:04) The power of the pause and taking an intermission before you design Act 2(06:27) How using the Enneagram helps define you as the main character in your story(09:56) How the Enneagram can show you potential roadblocks and blind spots(15:58) The unique wisdom and power of midlife women(17:17) Why it's OK to outgrow some of the people and relationships in Act 1(22:43) How can organizations and leaders support midlife women?Learn More and Connect with Jennifer Stanleyhttps://livingwellbyjen.com/About Andrea ButcherAndrea Butcher is a visionary business leader, executive coach, and keynote speaker—she empowers leaders to gain clarity through the chaos by being MORE of who they already are. Her experiences—serving as CEO, leading at an executive level, and working in and leading global teams—make her uniquely qualified to support leadership and business success. She hosts the popular leadership podcast, Being [at Work] with a global audience of over 600,000 listeners and is the author of The Power in the Pivot (Red Thread Publishing 2022) and HR Kit for Dummies (Wiley 2023).Connect with Andreahttps://www.abundantempowerment.com/LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/leaderdevelopmentcoach/Abundant Empowerment Upcoming Eventshttps://www.abundantempowerment.com/eventsSubscribe to the podcast in Apple Podcastshttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/being-at-work/id1468460670Subscribe to the podcast on Spotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/4xU1c5ncX5Vuukohwhps34
Suzanne Roberts is the founder of UnifyingSolutions and a transformational speaker, facilitator, and author with more than 40 years of experience helpingleaders and organizations create meaningful, lasting change. She developed Polarity System Design™, a methodology that empowers individuals and teams to lead with clarity, purpose, and collaboration while building healthier organizational cultures. Guided by a mission to promote human dignity andunlock people's potential, Suzanne helps others thrive both personally and professionally. She is a Master Somatic Coach and is certifiedin FEBI, the Enneagram, and Decision Wise 360 Assessments. Her clients include major organizations such as Chase, Prudential, OhioHealth, and the ColumbusMuseum of Art. Suzanne's book and documentary, It's Deeper Than That: Pathway to a Vibrant, Purposeful Life, are scheduled to premiere in October 2025, and her leadership program, The Great Reconnection, launches the same year. Outside of her work, she enjoys hiking, kayaking, gardening, meditation, audiobooks, and spending time with her grandchildren.Linkto episode can be found here: #drdanamzallag, #drdanpodcast, #Happinessjourneywithdrdan,#ddanmotivation, #inspiringinterviews, #drdancbt, #drdantherapy,#drdancoaching, #drdanhappiness,
Many Enneagram teachers have used the Odyssey as a way to talk through the nine types, since there are nine temptations, nine believable reasons to never make it home. Yet each island of trials offers the hero (you!) a real gift of virtue, if you can look past the trap of the very thing keeping you from home. When we instead finally face God and the open sea, when we finally humble ourselves, virtue begins. Whatever your number, whatever gift has quietly become your hiding place, the sea is still out there, and so is home. Come discover which island you have been hiding on, and take one brave step back toward the open water, because the journey home to your truest self is always worth the crossing. Listen here! Watch on YouTube! Read the Odyssey Substack here! Get the Awakening Intimacy Journal here! Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Take the E + M Quiz at www.QuizforCouples.com Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here! Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Here Christa turns to a different weight so many couples carry: what happens when the body is simply depleted, exhausted, touched-out, and running on empty, and sex stops feeling like connection and starts feeling like one more thing on an endless list. Going under the hood of the dual control model, she explains why exhaustion is one of the most powerful brakes on desire there is, why the depleted nervous system treats wanting as a luxury it cannot afford, and why being touched-out after a day of being physically needed is real and physiological, not a character flaw or a lack of love. She names the trap couples fall into, that adding pressure to something already felt as a task only presses the brake harder, and offers the real way back: reducing the load, protecting rest, sharing the mental and physical labor, reintroducing warm no-agenda touch, and reframing intimacy as restoration rather than one more output. Because you cannot guilt a depleted body into desire, you can only refill it and let desire return. Warm, freeing, and deeply practical for anyone in a full, weary season. Listen here! Watch YouTube here! Get the Awakening Intimacy Journal here! Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Take the E + M Quiz at www.QuizforCouples.com Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here! Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
In this episode, I sit down with Dina Smith, a licensed therapist, clinical director, and certified Enneagram coach based in Florida, to talk through the coworker chemistry between the Enneagram Type 3 (Striving to Feel Outstanding) and Type 9 (Striving to Feel at Peace).Dina identifies as a Three, and she's got a front-row seat to the Three-Nine dynamic both at home (her husband is a Nine) and at work with her own team, so I couldn't think of a better person to unpack this pairing with. We started with a quick refresher on each type, including the common Three/One and Three/Nine mistyping confusion, before digging into the good stuff: how a Three's pace-setting energy and a Nine's steady, consensus-building presence can actually complement each other beautifully when both are healthy, the trust-building friction that shows up around communication and follow-through, and what each type can borrow from the other's growth path.Dina also shared a genuinely great personal story about her Nine husband seeing something she, a therapist, completely missed with their daughter, plus what it looks like for a Three to actually rest.If you're a Three working with or leading a Nine (or vice versa), this episode will help you name the dynamic you're probably already living.***Connect with Dina on Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dinasmithenneagramconsulting/Learn more about Dina's coaching and therapy services: https://www.enneagramtherapywithdina.com/Enneagram MBA Resources + Links:Learn more about the 3-part Dream Team Momentum program: enneagrammba.com/enneagram-team-workshopsRun your own Enneagram Workshop: enneagrammba.com/enneagram-workshop-kitConnect with Sarah on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/sarahlynnwallace/Take the 2-question Enneagram quiz: enneagrammba.com/blog/enneagramtestWork with Sarah - workshops, speaking, and team facilitation: enneagrammba.com/enneagram-speakerHave a request for a future episode? Drop a text here!
What does courageous leadership really look like?Many people assume courageous leaders are the loudest voices in the room. But what if true courage isn't about being the most outspoken; it's about creating an environment where others feel safe, valued, and inspired to grow?In this episode of Strength in Numbers, Jilann concludes the Power of a Courageous Heart series by exploring how courage shapes the way quiet leaders influence others. Through practical leadership insights and the Enneagram, you'll discover that courage isn't about changing your personality, but rather it's about growing into the healthiest version of who you already are.If you've ever wondered whether your quiet presence can make a meaningful impact, this episode will remind you that influence isn't measured by volume. It's built through trust, authenticity, and the everyday choices that reflect a courageous heart.Why courageous leadership creates trust, not intimidationHow quiet leaders can influence others without becoming louderHow the Enneagram reveals different expressions of courageous leadershipWhy courage strengthens your leadership one small choice at a timeReflection questions to help you continue growing in confidence and authenticityHow creating a safe, thoughtful atmosphere can become one of your greatest leadership strengthsThis episode also wraps up the Courageous Heart month by bringing together the key themes of courage, self-doubt, and everyday practice, encouraging you to lead with quiet confidence and authentic influence.✨ Please join us for the next Quiet Strength Gathering, a monthly online community where quiet leaders connect, encourage one another, and continue growing together.Keywords: courageous leadership, quiet leadership, leadership confidence, authentic leadership, Enneagram, Enneagram coaching, leadership development, trust in leadership, influence, personal growth, women leaders, emotional intelligence, thoughtful leadership, Strength in Numbers podcast.
Check out The Coven Try the Free Enneagram Quiz!!!! Message me on Instagram @Angie.Alchemist and ask all your Enneagram questions! OR email me at angiealchemy@gmail.com Check out more at AngieAlchemist.com
Send us Fan MailThe Other Bennet Sister finally gives Jane Austen's most overlooked sister the story she's always deserved, and we're having far too much fun talking about it.In this special midsummer detour, Amy is joined by Payge Wicks and Annaliese Hinkin for a lively conversation about Mary Bennet's long-overdue redemption arc, the personalities behind the Bennet sisters, and, of course, our unofficial Enneagram typing of everyone from Mary to Mr. Hayward, Mr. Ryder, and females in the Bennett family.Together we explore what it means to move from the sidelines into your own story, why Mary has spent so long believing she was meant to be overlooked, and the beautiful moments that mark her journey toward confidence, agency, and belonging. Along the way, we debate the great romantic question...is it Team Hayward or Team Ryder?Whether you've recently read The Other Bennet Sister, watched the BritBox adaptation, or simply love a good character study, this episode is a joyful blend of literary discussion, personality insights, and a celebration of the quiet people who discover they were never meant to remain in the background.Because sometimes the most compelling hero isn't the loudest person in the room; it's the one who's finally learning to believe her own story matters.Amy LOVED the book and is having fun sharing it with her people... find a copy here.*Or stream on BritBox**These are affiliate links which help to support the podcast, but don't increase the cost for you!Support the showRESOURCES FOR YOU:Join the Waitlist for 1:1 Coaching with Amy Wickshttps://www.simplywholehearted.com/callamywicksNot sure about your Enneagram Type? Start here: https://www.simplywholehearted.com/enneagramquizEnnea-what? The Beginners Guide to the Enneagram(free course + printables)https://bit.ly/Enneagram101GuideConnect with Amy:IGWebsite
“The people you're trying to lead may become your greatest teacher.” SUMMARY Matthew Ayers '99 believes leadership isn't about having all the answers. It's about listening, learning and serving with joy. Hear how experiences at the U.S. Air Force Academy, on a U.N. peacekeeping mission and leading Dream Centers of Colorado Springs transformed his understanding of leadership. MATTHEW'S TOP 10 LEADERSHIP LESSONS 1. Leadership Begins with Ordinary Acts Matthew's grandfather didn't set out to do extraordinary things—he simply noticed people, asked questions, and invited them in. Great leadership often begins with small acts of compassion that have lifelong impact. 2. Lead with Joy One of the defining characteristics of Matthew's grandfather was his joy. Even in difficult circumstances, he demonstrated that joy isn't the absence of hardship—it's a choice that gives others hope and the courage to move forward. 3. Stay Curious About People Matthew learned that leadership starts by genuinely wanting to know people and understand their stories. Curiosity builds trust, broadens perspective, and opens the door to meaningful relationships. 4. Integrity Is Lived, Not Signed His experience during a United Nations peacekeeping mission revealed that values aren't proven by an oath—they're revealed in everyday decisions. Leadership requires the courage to live your principles, even when circumstances become complicated. 5. Influence Doesn't Require Authority Serving alongside people outside his chain of command taught Matthew that leadership often happens through relationships rather than rank. Quiet, consistent influence can move an organization—and a mission—forward one conversation at a time. 6. Presence Is Sometimes the Greatest Gift Whether comforting cadets during tragedy or supporting people in crisis, Matthew discovered that leaders don't always need the perfect words. Simply showing up and being present can have a lasting impact. 7. Listen Before You Lead Matthew's work reinforced that the people closest to the problem often hold the clearest vision for the solution. Leaders who listen deeply make better decisions because they're willing to learn before they act. 8. Let Others Become Your Teachers One of the most powerful themes of the episode is that leadership is not about always being the teacher. Matthew believes the people we serve—and the people we lead—often become our greatest teachers if we're humble enough to learn from them. 9. Transformation Happens Through Action Leadership isn't mastered in a classroom alone. Matthew reminds us that principles become convictions only when we wrestle with them in real life, applying them through service, relationships, and everyday decisions. 10. Leave People Better Than You Found Them Looking back on his grandfather's influence, Matthew's own leadership philosophy comes into focus: serve others with humility, model joy, remain teachable, and help people flourish. The greatest legacy a leader leaves is the positive impact they have on the lives of others. CHAPTERS 00:00:00 – Opening: Sometimes the Greatest Teachers Aren't the Ones We Expect 00:00:53 – Meet Matthew Ayers, USAFA Class of 1999 00:01:38 – The Story That Changed Everything: Grandpa, Joy & Two Strangers 00:08:47 – Justice Begins at Home: Lessons Passed from One Generation to the Next 00:15:12 – Ethiopia: When Integrity Is Tested in the Real World 00:24:31 – The Difference Between Signing an Oath and Living It 00:31:26 – The Child Who Became the Teacher 00:39:08 – Why Great Leaders Never Stop Being Students 00:45:51 – Leading Through Joy, Compassion & Presence 00:52:37 – Leadership in Practice: Listening Before Leading 00:58:44 – Matthew's Leadership Philosophy 01:03:28 – Advice to His Younger Self 01:06:14 – Final Reflections: Leave People Better Than You Found Them ABOUT MATTHEW BIO Matthew Ayers, USAFA Class of 1999, is the founder and CEO of Dream Centers, a Colorado Springs nonprofit dedicated to serving women, children, and families through comprehensive healthcare, behavioral health services, and transformational housing. Before founding Dream Centers in 2011, Matthew served as an Air Force officer, managed air and space programs, taught at the U.S. Air Force Academy, and deployed as an unarmed military observer with the United Nations Mission in Ethiopia and Eritrea. A passionate student of leadership, theology, and community development, Matthew believes the most meaningful leadership begins with humility, service, and a willingness to learn from others. Through his work and volunteer service, he continues to champion innovative approaches that strengthen families, empower communities, and create lasting change. Matthew lives in Colorado Springs with his wife, Amber, and their two children, Zeke and Halle Joy. CONNECT WITH MATTHEW LINKEDIN | DREAM CENTERS CONNECT WITH THE LONG BLUE LINE PODCAST NETWORK TEAM Ted Robertson | Producer and Editor: Ted.Robertson@USAFA.org Send your feedback or nominate a guest: socialmedia@usafa.org Please note: we are only considering USAFA graduates as guests at this time. Ryan Hall | Director: Ryan.Hall@USAFA.org Bryan Grossman | Copy Editor: Bryan.Grossman@USAFA.org Wyatt Hornsby | Executive Producer: Wyatt.Hornsby@USAFA.org ALL PAST LBL EPISODES | ALL LBLPN PRODUCTIONS AVAILABLE AT USAFA.ORG/LONGBLUELEADERSHIP AND ON ALL MAJOR PODCAST PLATFORMS FULL TRANSCRIPT Guest: Lt. Col. (Ret.) Matthew Ayers '99 | Host: Lt. Col. (Ret.) Naviere Walkewicz '99 Lt. Col. (Ret.) Naviere Walkewicz 0:00 Sometimes the greatest leadership lesson isn't learning how to teach others; it's discovering that the people you're trying to lead may become your greatest teacher. I'm Naviere Walkewicz, Class of '99 — Long Blue Leadership starts now. Well, welcome. Our guest today is Matthew Ayers, class of '99. Yes, my classmate. Welcome, welcome to Long Blue Leadership. Let me tell you about Matthew from his military service, where he served in international peacekeeping. Then he went into the classrooms of Fairchild Hall, onto leading an organization called Dream Centers, where he's the CEO, really focusing on a vulnerable set of our community. It's such a pleasure to have you here today, Matthew. Matthew Ayers 0:46 Love being here. Thank you, Naviere. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 0:48 Absolutely. Well, we're going to jump right in because your story is so unique and so personal. I'd like to take us back in time and talk about your grandfather. I know we had some time talking about him, but I think it's well worth that our listeners and our watchers get to know him a little bit more as well. Let's talk about your grandfather and maybe a particular act of courage. Matthew Ayers 1:09 OK, yeah, he's my hero, and I always continue to this day trying to live life like my grandpa. He just was so inspirational in the way he lived, and he's a very relational servant leader. He pastored most of his life in the Pacific Northwest, but his beginnings were in Wuhan, China, where he was born and raised, and moved to the U.S. when he was 15. Got on a back of a cargo ship, and he and his brother John made their way here. He built railroad with the CCC and flipped burgers, put himself through high school, college, seminary, and he's just got an amazing life. But when I got to know my grandpa as a little boy, he was smoking cigarettes like a chimney and in the local bowling league and playing cards with his neighbors. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 2:01 I can visualize this man. Yes. Yes. Matthew Ayers 2:06 He was just everybody's person, and he could hang out with anyone. No one was a stranger, and he was genuinely curious about everyone he met. And so he just modeled that with such joy. I just grew up thinking I want to be like my grandpa. He's an amazing guy, And so I've got unlimited stories about him, about someone that really has left a mark on my life, and I was 11 years old, and we were pretty new, about a year or so into living in central Washington State. And he came to guest preach at a local church there, and when he came to visit, of course, we would always go to a local Chinese restaurant. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 2:53 And did he say it wasn't as good as when he grew up, though? Matthew Ayers 2:57 It was not nearly as good, but he still enjoyed it. He still would enjoy it wherever he went. And so he disappeared like usual, and we just knew he was back in the kitchen, probably washing dishes, hamming it up with the staff. And soon he comes back out, introducing us to staff, and we have all this free food, and he's best friends with this couple. So we were just this was like a normal experience with Grandpa, but on this particular visit, he had some pretty serious conversations after that with my parents, and he had found out that several of the staff were labor trafficked. They were new immigrants from China, and the next day, he brought me along as a little boy, we go down in our little town into a bag alley, knock on the door of a warehouse, no running water, no electricity, no amenities, dirt floor, and I see the rats running around. I'm like, "What are we doing here?” And we get to sit down with these people who are serving at this restaurant and can't speak English and do not know any way to navigate their situation. And he challenged us as a family. Well, he might have just volunteered us, but it was going to happen one way or another, that this couple ended up moving in with us, and we got to be like family with them, and had the most incredible experiences cross culturally just in our own home, and that was my first, maybe you know, shocking example of just the vulnerability of people in every community. It happens everywhere, but what was even more powerful to me about that, and what stays with me, is just how simple it really was looking back, where he just asked the question, and it seemed like such an ordinary, easy thing that that he made it out to be. And looking back, I'm like, well, that that's not easy for most people, but really, it is an ordinary thing that anyone can do. Naviere Walkewicz 5:07 Ask a question and bring someone in, right? Matthew Ayers 5:10 That's it. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 3:46 I'm thinking about you as an 11-year-old, and you said it was kind of your first real glimpse of that experience. How did that shape you as you grew up? Because they were with you, right? And so, first off, did you did you learn to speak Chinese? Matthew Ayers 5:27 No, I learned a few phrases. I should have though. I remember even the simple things like these cross-cultural miscommunications we had about ruining laundry and just doing things so differently that made us sometimes laugh and sometimes have some pretty tense moments. But it was it was all of us learning together. How do we do this? And I think one of my favorite memories was one of these people — they were they just had this incredible ability to do this unique art form of laying small colored thread, and would take months and hundreds of hours per piece of art, and just the beauty of getting to introduce into this art of her culture that was in particular from this region she was from. So we just, I mean, we had so many rich experiences like that. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 6:29 I can imagine. So taking a leap forward, what was part of your journey that led you to the Academy? And when you went to the Air Force Academy, was your goal in mind to think about how to either participate or engage in things cross culturally, or was that just part of your upbringing and your makeup? Matthew Ayers 6:50 Yeah, I thought you might ask me this, and I have nothing here. Honestly, I saw pictures of the Rocky Mountains. I love the beauty of Colorado. It just seemed magical to me, coming from this little town in central Washington, and I wanted to snowboard, so it came with some, you know, really good university education. It was a win-win. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 7:13 Yes. So getting into the Academy, you know, obviously drawn by the aesthetics. What about the service in the military do you think really called you? And would you say that started, you know, with your grandfather, or was that something else you saw throughout just your childhood? Matthew Ayers 7:29 My mom and dad modeled it well, of course. My dad found an amazing and safe place in my mom's home, where she grew up in Wenatchee, Washington, and so they really had this model of my grandpa and grandpa Paul and Lydia serving continually, and they modeled that in our home, in our community, in our neighborhood. I mean, from as young as I can remember, my dad was leading leadership camps for high school students in Washington State and doing incredible things to serve. And servant leadership, which is always kind of a part of the conversation. So it was like the water that we got to swim in. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 8:09 It seems so when you talk about your grandpa and your parents, it feels very warm and comforting and secure. And when I think about our time at USAFA, Matthew, it was — you know while it was, you know, in this ecosystem, and yes, you know, we were growing as leaders, I would say there was chaos around us, you know? How did you navigate that with such a different kind of upbringing, and by what you saw in leadership. Matthew Ayers 8:37 Yep. That is, I think, really insightful, and it's probably — it could be the most powerful part of my growing up, my formation in my family. Because my grandpa, when he did these hard things that were ordinary, but you naturally create friction in these situations where you're serving and helping and bringing cross cultures together and bringing people in need, including us. We needed to be educated in that situation, understanding what was happening in our own community and understanding how to serve. And you don't — there wasn't a formula for that, and we didn't have a lot of coaching or training. Grandpa just pulled us in, and so we learned through doing this kind of life together. And I think that that was the power of it: is that he did it with such joy. So you describe it as this warmth, and absolutely it was. And so having that mindset, I think, built this resilience in us to have joy no matter what the situation was, and to hold those things intentionally. You know, sometimes things are really difficult and sad and sorrowful, but to still be able to carry joy into those situations, you're really able to have that impact on somebody who may need that. So even coming to the Academy and experiencing that, especially the chaos of the first year, it felt like a little bit of a challenge. Like, how do we have joy through this? Col. Naviere Walkewicz 10:05 Well, I think I would have loved to be in your squadron because it sounds like you would have brought some joy to us for sure. Let's talk about after the Academy. There was a particular time while you were serving, you went on to work in — I think it was 2005 — you were part of a United Nations peacekeeping mission. Can you talk about some of that experience and how it maybe shaped you? Because I think it was a really transformational moment as well in your leadership journey. Matthew Ayers 10:33 It was. It was. I was in the acquisition career field, and so I didn't have much opportunity to go overseas, but although I really wanted to. So this was one of those few things that I could thankfully got some approval from our commander and got to apply for this mission. And in that, I had this experience of coming out of Asmara, Eritrea, and heading down to our team site, which was pretty remote near the border, just south of Eritrea, and in this very small village in a war-torn area, it was completely austere, and you basically, as military observers, you have a team site you run and you kind of manage this area that you observe with daily patrols. And so I got to be in a team site with people from Ghana and South Africa and Bangladesh, and you name it. I mean, we always had new members coming in and out from one of these 41 nations that were there. And when I arrived at the team site the first day, Adahanit was our team cleaner, and so she was hired by the local staff on our team site. And when she literally ran to me, she saw my uniform and the American flag, and she dropped to her knees and just started weeping. And she was telling me how grateful she was that an American was at her team site now, because Americans had treated her and some of her family and friends and people who were living in this village with a little more respect than they were used to, and that was my introduction to this mission, to this team site, and I just thought, “Wow, what did I step into?” Because there are obviously a lot of really interesting dynamics that I didn't necessarily expect that kind of welcome coming in. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 12:27 We take for granted what seems so normal and usual and expected, right? And so to actually see how what we're expecting can really make a difference to somebody else is really powerful. What was some of that experience like there? Can you talk a little bit more about that mission and really why it, besides that incredible greeting, why it really spoke to you? Matthew Ayers 12:52 What I came to learn over the next six months living in Shiraru was that, you know, we all of us on the mission we had this MOU, kind of a moral obligation that we signed. We had this oath that we gave and communicated. We had a lot of training, extensive training in country, and then when we arrived overseas, and it was so — I think coming from this side, we had these just very clear expectations, and I think also kind of some of the culture that we swim in is filled with moral obligations. Even just our values at the Academy, where we where we were trained, and but it's such a part of American culture. And so what I realized is that although all the soldiers from every nation get to sign this thing and take this oath, it's not necessarily something that was part of the conversations in families growing up, or a part of the water that they swam in. So our day-to-day life there was filled with this tension between what we agreed to do and what was actually happening on the ground, and those things were completely different. So we saw — I mean, I saw two nations get kicked out and dismissed from the mission for starting trafficking rings. I saw two members of our own team site, they ended up running the black market cash exchange for the entire nation of Ethiopia while I was on site. And some of these things I really struggled with. Tried to work with people to help them understand what we were doing is not helpful to locals, and even to the point of bringing some of these things up legally with some of the team at headquarters. But when they're dealing with international trafficking rings, some of those smaller things that were happening at our team site, they just — they didn't even have capacity to deal with. And so that's also tension was like, OK, we have to learn to deal with this on a one-on-one basis in our team site in the middle of several hours' drive away from anyone who has any authority over the space. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 15:06 Wow! So, how did you learn from that? What did — what changed in you, or what evolved in you? How do you grow as a leader from that? Because that's really powerful when you have a mission, and then you have these competing things happening that sometimes challenge values. Matthew Ayers 15:25 It made life so much more complicated for me. I think I went in — Col. Naviere Walkewicz 15:28 Like, “If my grandpa was here, he simplified things really well.” Matthew Ayers 15:33 Right. Exactly. Where is this simple answer? There really wasn't. And I remember sitting in several meetings, both formal and informal, with some of the JAGs, some of the legal team there, and just trying to untangle some of these issues and understand what would be worth our time to bring up, even to the highest levels, even if we had to go to Congress. What are some of the things that we need eyeballs here and influence here so that we can change some what's going on ground? It's really negatively impacting people's lives, and some of the things that we had to wrestle with were these larger moral questions of if we do this and we potentially raise these other issues at this particular level, we can end the mission. And we're trying to keep these two nations from destroying each other. So please don't go to this level. Work with us. We're going to work with you. We're going to give you advice, but you need to deal with this one on one with these people that you're working with and serving with, and they may not be from your country and they may not be in your chain of command, but you have at least some level of influence with them. So we need you to be courageous and we need you to have these conversations on a daily basis and help us. So those, that was powerful to me because it wasn't, you know — I at first I felt disempowered and like I don't know what I could do in this position, but over time I think little by little, you know, you can you can move the ball down the field if you stay focused -and you kind of understand the situation you're working within. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 17:11 I'm so glad you shared that because often we might think, “Well, I'm just an acquisitions officer” or “I'm just this and this is not my lane” or “This is not my role.” But I think to your point is we can all be leaders and if we stay focused and we know what we need to be doing, moving the ball down the field is still very much progress. And so thank you for sharing that. I think that was really powerful. You know, you've had so many incredible experiences. I'm curious. So, acquisitions officer, you went and did this UN mission, and somehow you ended back in the hallways of Fairchild Hall teaching cadets. Let's talk about that transition and maybe what leadership looked like after you had some of this real-world and mission experience, operational experience. How did that translate to leading cadets in the way they think, etc. Matthew Ayers 18:03 The mission, you know, sharing knowledge, sharing wisdom, sharing the things that we know we're learning in Management 101. I mean, that's important, right? Col. Naviere Walkewicz 18:13 Yeah. Matthew Ayers 18:13 But what I realized in that role too is just, and I realized this going back to our time. You know, as '99ers… Col. Naviere Walkewicz 18:24 Gold will shine. Matthew Ayers 18:25 …and just people who had so much influence on us. That's my always dreamed to come back. That was a dream job for me. I wanted to be back here on campus and influencing kids' lives because I think you are for the first time in your life for most of us. Then you're away from home, and you get to like have your family, your brothers, your sisters, your parents, your grandparents. You can lean on in those situations at home to help you carry that leadership. But this is the first time you get to try it out on your own. And I wanted to get to know people relationally first and build trust so that I could earn a right as little as it was to speak into anyone's life, and maybe learn from them too, because we're all coming from different backgrounds where we can learn from each other. So that environment was incredible to me because it's just so much more than sharing knowledge, right? You know you're transforming. You're part of that transformative process of a person being formed when they're standing on their own values for the first time. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 19:34 Matthew, can you share an example of maybe when you saw that come to life with a cadet and an interaction with you? Was there a time in that that when you were facilitating or when you were an instructor that you actually saw some of those seeds be received and how it actually bloomed? Matthew Ayers 19:52 My very first night on duty, I was officer on duty at night, and you know you do this. Everyone pitches in and has that role at some point or another when they're on faculty here, and there was a suicide, and I remember getting to interact in the moment as the news is, you know, in a grassroots way, very quickly moving through the Cadet Wing. And in the middle of the night, just walking the hallways and seeing kids, and just getting to put my hand on my shoulder and ask if they need to talk, can I pray? Can I support you? And hearing their stories and what they knew, and so life happens, right? No matter what position you're in, no matter where you are, and you get to show up for people where you don't, or you get scared. And I think some of those things, you know, being in Eritrea in the middle of night with people, and that I think you build a little more resilience there too when you're in some interesting situations. And it helps you step into somebody else's space and just be present and I — those are sacred memories for me and those opportunities just to be present. Didn't do anything really but just be there. And I think I'll cherish that always. And I just encourage us. You know, it again — these things seem like so challenging sometimes when you're in a, when the stakes are high and the emotions are high, but those are the most important times to stand in and be present. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 21:42 I feel this tie from your grandpa to you. This ordinary act. I will tell you, the cadets that you spent time with when you were walking the halls that evening, and you put your hand on their shoulder, or you said, "Do you need to talk?” They will take that with them, and there's a good chance that when the moment calls for that from them, they're ready because they saw it in action and they felt the importance of that. Man, thank you for sharing that incredible story. I have to think that that probably played into your decision to jump into the nonprofit space and lead something incredible like you've been doing for the past 10+ years. Matthew Ayers 22:20 If I'm honest, I was a little bit upset leaving the Air Force. I loved that job. I loved what I was doing, but of course, I did have the seed that my grandpa planted, and really, it went back to that first experience that day when he introduced us to the staff at this restaurant. And I thought, I remember making a commitment back then to say, I want to be like my grandpa, and I want to do something. I think with my life, just to interact with vulnerable people and serve them. And so that came true. I got to start some work in the nonprofit world when I got out of the Air Force, and then it led into this opportunity. And I think just casting that vision in that early season of getting out and just sharing this bigger idea of like, OK, we what does the city need? We love Colorado Springs. There's a lot of great nonprofits, and we don't want to duplicate anything. So what do we really need? And that's when I got to go on this journey of just listening to leaders all over our city and discovering what some of those things could be. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 23:29 I love that powerful listening tour. Before we jump into that, I want to just in that piece of time in which you made that transition, I'm curious on how you knew it was time. Because I think many leaders, you know, when they're in different roles, they're looking for the when is the right time for what's next, or and who do you talk to in your corner? What was that transition, and maybe that network around you or your community around you, what did that look like in navigating that decision? Matthew Ayers 1:57 So, Naviere, my life is like one example after another of I have plans in my mind, in my heart, and then they get redirected. And there's a proverb about that that says, you know, people make plans in their heart, and the Lord directs their steps. So this was another clear example of that, of me taking a while to learn what really should be the next step. And I remember the voluntary separation program, that VSP came open, that opportunity. And this is strange. So if anyone's been around the Academy or taught there, you know this. If you haven't, it is rare to have people just come by your office and small talk for a while, right? You're with cadets in your open office hours, or you're teaching, or you're preparing for something. So we're running. We're always running around. And 15 people, several of them — I couldn't have even told you their last name. I was just an acquaintance with them — stopped by my office in my open hours during the day, one after the other, asking the exact same thing: “Are you going to apply for this VSP?” Col. Naviere Walkewicz 25:12 Did you make — I mean, I can't even. That's just kind of blows my mind, right? I'm just I'm putting myself in your shoes in that moment. Yes, please continue. Matthew Ayers 25:22 Yeah. So if Anthony Pedroni is listening, he was the last one, and Tony comes in at like 7 that night in my office and asks the same exact question. We're friends. We work together in the management department. And he said, "Are you going to apply for this VSP?” I said, "No, man, I love my job. I love what I'm doing. Why would I want to leave here?” And he said, "Oh, Mr. Sensitive,” and he walked away. And when he said that, I was convicted. I had not even stopped to pray for a second. Like, is this the right thing to do? And I just knew it was, and I didn't know why. So, I, as an Enneagram 9, I try to lead with my gut instinct. That always just naturally leads first, and I just knew I needed. So I applied that night. I was one of 20 that got it. I got a call the next day, and I was out in 30 days. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 26:11 Oh my goodness. So really, it was this group around you, and then some self-reflection and prayer, and you made that decision. There was really not a lot of talk at all, it sounds like. Matthew Ayers 26:23 There was zero planning. So yeah, but I knew it was right, and I knew if — you know, I just think taking steps of faith, sometimes we need to be redirected. And looking back on my life now, I cannot imagine not doing this nonprofit work early. In my mind, the timing was retire first, be stable, make a good decision, get your retirement, then launch this nonprofit. But that's not that wasn't the best way forward. And so I would just say that for others too, where I had to be redirected, and it was so helpful for me. And that if you know you're holding on to a dream, sometimes it's good to be stable and make that, you know, what might look like a more traditional decision, and sometimes it's not. And to have the courage to be able to at least ask that question. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 27:15 I love that. So you jumped, and you have now led Dream Centers. Let's talk about this a little bit because I think many people may not know what Dream Centers of Colorado Springs is and the mission. Matthew Ayers 27:30 There's a movement across the world. There's several hundred Dream Centers, and the basic thing that ties it all together is that we share this vision that we would find a real need in a city wherever we're located that's unduplicated, and we go meet that need. So we're not the same organization as any one other of these hundreds of Dream Centers. But I got to go on that listening tour for about six months and learn as much as I could from people here before we decided what we wanted to land on. That would really be something unique and unduplicated that we could offer the city. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 28:09 Do you feel that this is another way that you continued to put on a uniform outside of the uniform, right? So this is a new way of service. Do you think that that was part of not only it was a need that you decided this is the one we're going to do and it's unduplicated, but it actually spoke to you because of your servant leadership background? Matthew Ayers 28:29 Maybe. I think honestly, going back to those roots, my parents, my grandpa. I mean, I think of my wrestling coach in high school and English teacher. They served so well, and they did it with joy. I think just to me, it was a more inspiring way to live, and so I didn't think about it like that, and I don't think about it like that. Although that's absolutely important and valuable, but I think as I as I experience the joy of learning from our clients right now and our staff, and just how rewarding the mission is, yeah, absolutely. It's about serving our community, but it is so joyous. It's — I get so much more out of it that it's like it really is a way of life that that is just incredible. I love getting up in the morning. I love what I get to do. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 29:19 So you are learning from the people you serve. You just — you were just talking about the joy that it brings you. What has changed in you? And I think about it — you know, this is Long Blue Leadership. So from a leadership capacity, because you're leading a team of professionals that's making this joy possible, but curious how it's also really, like, you know, changed you? Matthew Ayers 29:40 Man, I think I've changed every day. There's — you know, I have not had a lot of extreme or challenging situations I've dealt with in life, but I've had like a front row seat to that, and I think that I don't understand what it's like to live in a car, or to live on the street, or to experience domestic violence, or to be without food, and people are in those situations in our city every day, and they have so much to tell us about what's going on with our city, what's working, what's not. How can we improve it? How can we improve it down to the level of interactions, from phone calls and intake and how we're welcomed into a front office, to what actually is going to move the ball and make an impact in their life, and I think those are the things that we know are like adding to the quality of community, and it transfers intergenerationally in our city. So if we don't stop to learn about those things, it we're all going to be affected by that, and we're all going to be life will just not be as rewarding because it is so rewarding to be in the middle of those conversations and experiences. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 31:17 So I'm thinking about it in parallel as leaders. To your point, are you know they have colleagues or teammates that are experiencing things that they haven't. How do you navigate those conversations? How do you actually get to a place where maybe you are driving impact or making it a difference? I'm curious if you could share some of that, maybe some for those who are looking for that leadership as well. Matthew Ayers 31:41 We're always trying to do things with excellence. We're always tweaking what we're doing, and we're trying to just be steady and show up every day and learn what we can. And so I think when we have some big changes we need to make or a program we need to implement, first it needs to come from the people we're learning from, right? And it's not dreamed up without partnership there, and I think it needs to be confirmed by them as well. And so I mean, this again-it's the story of my life. But for several years at one of our programs at Mary's Home, the families we get to be with and serve and learn from were telling me about, you know, “The way that you're setting up this high-challenge, high-support program, and what we're able to accomplish here, and how we're surrounded with love and services and challenge. It is so good. Why aren't you doing that with our children? Why are you not offering the same thing for them?” And we — this was a theme, and I got to hear it over and over and over again. And they probably felt like they were being a broken record, but it was so important that they kept — they felt they had that important message to share. And it took me years of hearing that and then validating it with other people in the community, other people who had come through the program, our graduates, who had been years, you know, after launching for Mary's home, validating it, and I think that whole process was something where, for me, it felt like at least scales had to fall from my eyes. I had to really wake up to the reality of what this is because at first I was thinking there's other organizations that do this, and they continued just faithfully week after week, month after month, to have this conversation and say, “No, you — OK, so you don't really understand, Matthew, what we're talking about, so let's back up.” It was conversations like that. Like, “Let me tell you about my experience here with my children.” “Let me tell you about my experience over here at this service and why it's not working.” And so I think those, you know — it's being in touch with your customer. It's being in touch with your client. It's really — we have to be changed first if we're going to really offer something that's truly transformational. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 34:03 I love how you said you can drive change and it really make an intergenerational difference. I'm curious how your work has changed the lives of your family because I know you know you're married and you have two beautiful children. What does this legacy look like in your household? Matthew Ayers 34:22 Yeah, well I hope that I can you know at least try to live up to my grandpa's way of being. And so like when we're around work, that our kids it feels like a normal thing to do, just to be in service and to be engaged, to be in touch with what's going on in our community, and that it feels normal to come to work and have that warmth and have that encouragement and see models of people just doing normal things that we may if we don't have those models otherwise they seem maybe difficult for a little distant from us. And sometimes they're actually closer than we realize and we just keep them distant because it reminds us of just how maybe vulnerable we are sometimes, or maybe a memory like going back to our childhood that could be implicit. You know, before we're even four, and we remember it with our mind. Our body is remembering it with our emotions, and we're and so we get scared sometimes, and we don't even know why to engage with some big challenges in our city. And that's what I think. Yeah, the day-to-day stuff I want to model for Zeke and Halle Joy are just — you know, this is this is actually super rewarding, and it's one of the best things in the world you can do. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 35:40 So, Matthew, if we can go back in time, and you could talk to your 11-year-old self, what might you tell him today? Matthew Ayers 35:46 I think knowing what I know now and seeing what's possible, what transformation, what kinds of things, and just that we've been able to do with our partners in the city, through Dream Centers, going back to that, all that may seem really daunting and just incredibly tough to imagine or even think about as 11-year-old. But I think I would keep just want to model it for him, you know, just like my grandpa did, and make it make it easy, make it like this is — anyone can do this. Take that next faithful step, that everyone has something that they can do to show just a little bit of genuine curiosity in whoever they're with, that we always have something to learn, and if you can model that with joy, I just think it can be captured so much easier. If you model it in any other way, I don't know that it becomes something that you want to emulate. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 36:45 I love that. And speaking of joy, I have a feeling I know where you might go with this answer, but let's see if you surprise us. You know, what is something you're doing every day to be better, either as a leader, you know, in your in your life? What are you doing every day to be better? Matthew Ayers 37:05 I'll say it's something that I try to do every day. So even this week is a great example. Like, the last couple weeks, I've had conversations with staff where they felt courageous enough to give me feedback, and I got to listen, and I get to learn from them, and they're my greatest teachers. “So, this is how I felt in that situation, Matthew, and this is how I didn't feel seen or heard.” And let me just tell you how that impacted me, and those conversations are, you know, although I wish I could say they're far and few between, they're probably more regular. But I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful that we have a team that really trusts each other, and where we can just be honest and reflect and call each other to this higher place. And my team does that for me. So if I could do one thing, I don't always do it, but if I could do one thing really well, it'd be to keep learning from them. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 38:03 Oh, that's fantastic. May I ask how you accept that feedback? Because, you know, being open to hearing it is one thing, but accepting it, I think, is another. Can you talk about how you do that? Matthew Ayers 38:18 Yeah. Well, I think people are complicated, and all of us, right? We're like this incredible mishmash. You have, like, unlimited layers of variables going on an x-axis and a y-axis, and for some reason, on one day, one person will hit that one button that really affects us more deeply than another. And I see that, you know, with me, I see that with our team. And so, even one staff member will give me feedback that's in this direction, and another and receives it completely differently. So, what I think it does for me is I want to hold all those things as equally valid and say how can I sharpen what I'm doing even more so? Like that thing really landed for somebody and it really hurt somebody else. So how can I adjust? How can I learn from that so that I am presenting, I'm showing up to work my best self in a way that's able to speak to everyone. You can't always do that. You're never going to hit on the head, and that's why we need grace for everyone. We need a little patience. But I think we can always learn too, and we can always sharpen the skills. And I'm so grateful that we can, and that EQ is just one of those things that we can constantly work on. So, yeah. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 39:36 I love that. Well, what is something that we didn't cover today that you feel is really important for our viewers and listeners to hear from you? Matthew Ayers 039:46 You keep doing what you're doing because you're bringing a message that is really — it's not complicated at all, but there's so many layers to this leadership journey, and I think people need examples of that. We don't learn — I think what I know that whether it was just in my work here at the Academy, or the work with the nonprofit, or just growing up in Ellensburg, Washington, learn as much in the classroom, and so we have to wrestle with these ideas. That's important, and these ideas we'll hear today are really important. But we need to the community we live in, the family we're a part of, our work, and we need to apply these things. And that's where we really learn. And I don't think leadership can ever be learned just from talking about it, right? Col. Naviere Walkewicz 40:43 That's right. Matthew Ayers 40:43 So we have to be able to apply these ideas constantly and wrestle with them, and talk about them, and keep them front and center. So thank you for doing that. And I know we're going to keep trying to do that within Dream Centers and make it real instead of just theoretical. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 41:00 Well, Matthew, this conversation has been really incredible in many ways. I think some of the things that really stuck with me in this conversation, one, I just really appreciated getting to know your grandpa through you. I mean, he's someone that I also hope that I can emulate in just his finding ordinary ways to make big impact. And I think you're doing that every day in your job, and that's helping to inspire others as well. I really appreciated our conversation how you really have become a student of learning leadership through the through the actions that others have gone through, right? So maybe not living them yourself, but being there in the moment, learning from them. And so I appreciated how you really talk about leadership through learning. And so I think that really came through and folds in our conversation today. And last, I want to end with this because, as I sit here and I smile at you, it's because you bring joy, and I think it's really important that we find joy in the moments, even when they're difficult. If we can continue to like hold onto that thread of joy, life is sure a lot more fun and meaningful, and we bring others along with us in that in that capacity. Matthew Ayers 42:04 Thank you, Naviere. Col. Naviere Walkewicz 42:05 For all of you that are watching this and listening, thank you for joining us on Long Blue Leadership. If you know someone who's on their leadership journey, they really should check out this conversation and all of our others at longblueleadership.org. Many of our graduates have different paths that they want on leadership, and just like Matthew, they have so many wonderful lessons you can pose in them. So until next time, I'm Naviere Walkowicz, Class of '99. We'll see you on Long Blue Leadership. KEYWORDS Primary: Servant leadership, leadership through learning, influence, humility, curiosity, transformation. Secondary: Mentorship, moral courage, resilience, trust, active listening, empathy, community, values-based leadership, feedback, purpose. Supporting: Emotional intelligence, authenticity, growth mindset, stewardship, compassion, vulnerability, presence, integrity, service, relational leadership. The Long Blue Line Podcast Network is presented by the U.S. Air Force Academy Association & Foundation
If you’re struggling as you learn how to stop taking your child’s behaviour personally, girlfriend, I get you! That feeling — that your child is doing something to you — is an easy one to fall into. Not just being difficult, but somehow, specifically, deliberately difficult, aimed at you. You’ve had the thought before, even if you didn’t say it out loud: why does he do this to me? First of all, I want to admit, I have most definitely been there. But I want to offer you a different question to reframe that. Not because your frustration isn’t valid — it is — but because that first question keeps you stuck. It keeps you reacting instead of understanding. And once you swap it out, something in the whole relationship starts to shift. “Why Is He Doing This to Me?” vs. “This Is Just How He’s Wired” In a recent coaching conversation, one of the moms I work with was working through exactly this. Her son has a hard time sitting still, gets bored fast, and constantly needs something new to stay engaged — and she’d been reading that as defiance. As him pushing back against her, specifically, was on purpose. But that constant need for stimulation, that low tolerance for boredom, that instinct to keep moving toward the next interesting thing? That could also be reframed as a personality thing. That’s a recognizable Enneagram Type 7 pattern — a child whose core wiring orients toward possibility and away from anything that feels confining. He’s not doing it to her. He’s doing it because that’s how he’s built to move through the world. That distinction changes everything about how you respond. A defiant child needs a consequence. A Type 7 child who’s drowning in boredom needs variety, movement, and a shorter runway between tasks. Same behavior. Completely different parenting response — and you can only get to the right one once you stop making it about you. A Quick Note on ADHD A quick caveat: trouble sitting still, low tolerance for boredom, always chasing the next stimulating thing — that can also be part of an ADHD profile, not just an Enneagram 7 pattern. The two aren’t mutually exclusive, and this isn’t a substitute for an evaluation, and it’s a separate conversation from learning how to stop taking your child’s behaviour personally — both can be true at once. The Enneagram points to motivation; ADHD is something more neurological. A child can be both — and understanding one doesn’t rule out the other. If this is showing up across settings, not just during school time, it may be worth a conversation with your pediatrician, who can guide you toward an evaluation if needed. And if ADHD is already part of your homeschool reality, you might also like How to Homeschool When Everyone Has ADHD (And You’re Exhausted). It’s Not Just About Kids This same shift showed up for two other moms in a Confident Homeschool Mom Collective conversation, both talking about their husbands. One had spent years frustrated that her husband seemed to avoid conflict at almost any cost — going quiet in arguments, smoothing things over instead of hashing them out, seeming to just… ignoring the conflict instead of addressing it. And she read that as him not caring enough to address the unmet needs under the conflicts. Once she understood he was a Type 9, whose deepest instinct is toward peace and away from friction, she wasn’t excusing the pattern — but she stopped taking it personally. It wasn’t about her. It was his wiring, doing what it’s always done. Enneagram coaches often see 9s and 8s pair up in marriage — and 8s aren’t afraid of conflict at all. So imagine how he was receiving her in those moments: not as someone smoothing things over peacefully, but as someone withholding, someone who wouldn’t engage. (If you want to see this dynamic from the other side, I loved this Enneagram 8 mom’s story of growth — it’s a great window into how an 8 experiences conflict, connection, and homeschooling.) Kids, partners — the pattern is the same. The behaviour that used to feel like a verdict on you turns out to be almost entirely unrelated to you. It’s wiring. And wiring isn’t personal. How to Stop Taking Your Child’s Behaviour Personally When You Think in Black and White If you’re someone who tends to see things in black and white — this behaviour is good, another behaviour is bad — this shift can feel disorienting at first. It’s not that boundaries stop mattering or that behaviour stops having consequences. That is certainly not my goal here. However, it IS that you stop assigning motive where there isn’t one. Your child avoiding boredom isn’t defiance — in fact, there’s a bounty to boredom when it’s handled well (I go deeper on that in how to deal with your kids’ homeschool boredom). Your partner avoiding conflict isn’t apathy. Once you can separate the behaviour from an imagined motive aimed at you, you’re free to respond to what’s actually happening instead of reacting to a story you’ve built around it. And if it’s you who’s the bored one some days — bored of the routine, bored of the sameness, bored in a way that feels a little taboo to admit as a homeschool mom — that’s real too, and worth naming (here’s a whole post on being the bored homeschool mom). What Changes When You Stop Taking It Personally You start responding instead of reacting. You start getting curious instead of assuming offense or hurt. Instead of why does he do this to me, you start asking: What does this behaviour tell me about how he’s wired? What does he actually need right now? Is this about me at all, or is this simply him? That question — is this about me, or is this just them — is one of the most useful tools I know for a homeschool mom learning how to stop taking her child’s behaviour personally. It doesn’t make the hard moments disappear. Your Type 7 son will still get bored mid-lesson. Your Type 9 husband will still go quiet when things get tense. But you’ll stop absorbing those moments as a referendum on you, and that alone changes how much of the day you carry home with you emotionally. Where to Begin You don’t need to become an Enneagram expert overnight to make this discussion valuable. Start small: the next time your child’s behaviour sends you into a spiral of why does he do this, pause and ask instead, is this wiring, or is this really about me? If you do that, you’ll find it’s the former — and that single shift in framing can be enough to bring you back to curiosity instead of hurt. Certainly, if you want to go further, understanding your child’s — and your partner’s — Enneagram type is one of the fastest ways to build this reframe into a daily habit rather than something you have to remember to do in the moment. If this resonated, I’d love to help you think through it. Book a free Aligned Homeschool Reset Session and let’s find out what’s really driving the dynamics in your home — and how to stop carrying what was never yours to carry. Book your free Aligned Homeschool Reset Session Two Ways to Join the Homeschool Mama Book Club 2026 The Homeschool Mama Book Club 2026 is the one thing I wish someone had offered me in my early homeschool years. 1. Join the Book Club Newsletter — free, every Wednesday Every Wednesday morning, a warm, thoughtful email lands in your inbox drawn from the books we’re exploring together. Reflections, journaling prompts, and practical takeaways — even if you haven’t read the book. Sign up for the free Book Club Newsletter here → 2. Join us live in the Confident Homeschool Mom Collective Every Friday at 10am Pacific, a group of homeschool mamas gathers to talk about the things that actually matter — roundtable conversations, book club discussions, Writer’s Room sessions, actionable strategy sessions, and real talk about what it actually feels like to do this every day. Your first Friday is completely free. Join the Confident Homeschool Mom Collective here → Come Talk Through How to Stop Taking Your Child’s Behaviour Personally With Us This is exactly the kind of conversation we have, every single week, in the Homeschool Mama Book Club. A place where you say the thing out loud — why does he do this to me — and a room full of women nod because they’ve thought it too. We read together, we talk it through in book club discussions, we bring our real questions to Writer’s Room sessions and strategy conversations, and in the middle of all that, you get tools to really support your homeschool mom life. The women who show up every Friday will tell you it feels like a reset — a space where they’re actually seen, understood, and encouraged, without competition or judgment. If you’ve been carrying how to stop taking your child’s behaviour personally all on your own, this is where you bring it instead. You’re Invited — Join the Book Club → Get My Weekly Book Reflection Want to Go Deeper? Understanding the Enneagram for Homeschoolers Enneagram For Homeschool Moms: A Self-Awareness Tool That Makes You a Better Educator, Mom & Partner Sibling Bickering in Homeschool Families: What's Normal & How to Handle It The Guilt Journal for Homeschool Moms You're Invited to the Homeschool Mom Book Club 2026 How to Reimagine Your Homeschool Support: 7 Essential Lessons How to Create a Personalized Homeschool High School That Fits Your Teen Tired of Homeschool Sibling Fights? Try These 3 Simple Strategies! Understanding the Enneagram for Homeschoolers Interest-Led Homeschool for Confident Moms: An Enneagram 8 Mom's Story of Growth 5 Reasons Your Homeschool Child Won't Do Work & How to Motivate Your Child Child-Led Learning Benefits Your Kids (& You) Will Love How to Facilitate Child-Led Learning in Your Homeschool Latest episodes How to Stop Taking Your Child’s Behaviour Personally July 21, 2026 You’re Invited to the Homeschool Mom Book Club 2026 July 14, 2026 Post-Partum Overwhelm in Your Homeschool: 12 Ways to Cope July 12, 2026 A 2023 High School Graduate’s Thoughts on her Homeschool Life July 11, 2026 What It’s Like? The Homeschool to High School Transition July 11, 2026 Navigate Homeschool High School (What You Need to Know) July 7, 2026 How to Set Realistic High School Expectations? Learn Human Development July 3, 2026 Declutter Your Homeschool Mama Mind: Overwhelm to On Purpose July 2, 2026 How to Handle Homeschool Criticism With Confidence June 29, 2026 How to Create a Personalized Homeschool High School That Fits Your Teen June 23, 2026 The Real Cost Of Being The “Good Girl” Who Became The Good Mom June 16, 2026 What Is an Education Anyway? Your Answer Changes Your Homeschool June 8, 2026 5 Reasons Your Homeschool Child Won’t Do Work & How to Motivate Your Child June 2, 2026 Crush 1st-Year Homeschool Frustrations and Plan a Smooth Year 2 May 30, 2026 Encouragement for Homeschool Moms in the 1st Year May 30, 2026 Transitioning into Homeschool High School: What We're Really Talking About May 26, 2026 Registered Homeschooling vs Online Learning BC: What Really Matters May 19, 2026 Homeschool Year End Review: Celebrating your Success & Growth May 12, 2026 When You Buy New Homeschool Curriculum: 5 Clever Suggestions May 6, 2026 The Truth About Homeschooling the “Right Way” — But What Works May 5, 2026 9 Steps to Thrive: Confident Homeschool Mom in Year 1 April 28, 2026 What If Your Unrealistic Expectations Are Actually Your Greatest Asset? April 21, 2026 Overcome Imposter Syndrome: How to Build Confidence as a Homeschool Mom April 14, 2026 How to Get Started Homeschooling in 2026 April 11, 2026 9 Mistakes That Make Your 1st Homeschool Year Stressful (& How to Avoid Them) April 9, 2026 How to Make Confident Homeschool Decisions (Without Seeking Permission) April 7, 2026 How to Homeschool When Everyone Has ADHD (And You’re Exhausted) March 31, 2026 Exhausted Homeschool Mom? 8 Things That Will Give You Hope March 24, 2026 Stop Second-Guessing as a Homeschool Mom (& Use Your Magic) March 17, 2026 “You’re Not Falling Apart. You’re in the Winter Homeschool Slump.” March 10, 2026 The Lies Homeschool Moms Believe That Makes Everything Harder March 2, 2026 You’re Not Failing. You’re Caught In An Inner Critic Loop. Here’s How to Get Out February 24, 2026 How to Stop People-Pleasing as a Homeschool Mom (One Mom’s Story) February 17, 2026 How to Stop the Inner Critic as a Homeschool Mom: The Charmed Life I Was Chasing (& the Pattern I Didn’t Know I Was Living) February 10, 2026 The Most Important Way to Take Care of Yourself as an Overwhelmed Homeschool Mom February 2, 2026 How to Do Kindergarten in Your Homeschool: A Fun & Effective Guide January 29, 2026 The Real Reason You’re Overwhelmed (It’s Not the Curriculum) January 26, 2026 Unexpected Feelings When Your Homeschooler Gets Accepted to University January 22, 2026 How to Stop Being a Hostage to Homeschool Pressure (& What to Do Instead) January 19, 2026 The Truth About Finding Your Homeschool Rhythm January 13, 2026 The Confident Homeschool Mom Podcast: Introducing the 1% Pivot January 6, 2026 Purpose-Driven Homeschool Planning for 2026: How to Recalibrate the Year with Clarity December 23, 2025 1% Shift to a Calm Homeschool Life December 23, 2025 12 Things I've Learned About Homeschool Moms: Self-Care Tips for Overwhelmed Homeschool Moms December 10, 2025 12-Day Homeschool Mom Self-Care Challenge to Come Back to Yourself December 2, 2025 What is the Reimagine Your Homeschool Group Coaching? November 18, 2025 Not Just a Homeschool Mom — Why You’re Disappearing (And How to Come Back) November 11, 2025 Teaching World War to a Homeschooled Eight Year Old November 10, 2025 Reimagine Your Homeschool: Feel Free, Inspire Curiosity and Do What Works November 5, 2025 the role of imagination in a home education November 4, 2025 Subscribe to the Confident Homeschool Mom podcast YouTube Apple Audible Spotify Call to Adventure by Kevin MacLeodLink: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3470-call-to-adventureLicense: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ (function(m,a,i,l,e,r){ m['MailerLiteObject']=e;function f(){ var c={ a:arguments,q:[]};var r=this.push(c);return "number"!=typeof r?r:f.bind(c.q);} f.q=f.q||[];m[e]=m[e]||f.bind(f.q);m[e].q=m[e].q||f.q;r=a.createElement(i); var _=a.getElementsByTagName(i)[0];r.async=1;r.src=l+'?v'+(~~(new Date().getTime()/1000000)); _.parentNode.insertBefore(r,_);})(window, document, 'script', 'https://static.mailerlite.com/js/universal.js', 'ml'); var ml_account = ml('accounts', '1815912', 'p9n9c0c7s5', 'load');
Seduction inside a long marriage sounds like a contradiction, and Dr. Anna Elton is here to tell us it is anything but. In this rich conversation, Christa welcomes Dr. Elton to unpack her framework for what she calls the desire equilibrium, the idea that desire is not one thing but three: desiring yourself, desiring your partner, and letting yourself feel wanted. Most couples pour all their energy into the middle one and wonder why nothing shifts. Dr. Elton explains why self-desire is the least threatening place to begin and also the most skipped, why receiving desire is genuinely harder than giving it, and how we quietly push love away the moment it arrives by downplaying a compliment, deflecting with humor, or changing the subject before the feeling has time to land. She also makes the case that context changes everything, that the very same loving gesture can feel inviting in one moment and invasive in the next, and that timing, mental load, and emotional transition often matter far more than the gesture itself. This episode offers a real path back, one that begins not with technique but with learning your own worth, and not being afraid to truly focus on the magic you can create together once again or for the very first time! Watch on YouTube! Read Dr. Anna Elton's book, The Formula of Desire, here! https://a.co/d/0hc3qCLe Visit her website here! https://annaelton.com/ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Take the E + M Quiz at www.QuizforCouples.com Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here! Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Robin rambles about breaking in a new audio interface, taking full responsibility for Team USA's World Cup exit, and Vice President JD Vance's take on UAP. He also reflects on preparing an upcoming Insight Timer talk about the inner critic and how AI is unexpectedly helping him memorize it.He also shares a track, “Imposter” from No Pterodactyls, marks the upcoming 2026 solar eclipse and Perseid meteor shower, and highlights a colleague's upcoming women's growth group with Sarah Boone.Featured Track & Tour Dates:“Imposter” by No Pterodactyls (Album: Next Thing I Know). Catch them July 30th at The Delancey (NYC) and August 1st at Gulu Gulu Cafe (Salem, MA).Upcoming Guest Spotlight:Jessica Dibb (Pioneer breathwork facilitator and consciousness teacher)Latest Book: Breathwork and Psychotherapy (Published by WW Norton)Learn More: Visit the Inspiration Consciousness SchoolReady to take your growth to the next level? Done individual therapy but not group work? This 6-week group provides a transformative space to deepen and become more rooted in awareness. Together, we will explore patterns of growth through nature-based practices and Enneagram-informed insights. This will be an intimate group with only 6-8 participants to allow for depth, trust and personal attention.SARAH BOONE COUNSELING Sarah Boone, MS, LCPC, NCC Therapist, Individuals and Groups Learn more at: www.sarahboonecounseling.com--Get in touch: robinsmithshow@gmail.comCall the hotline: +1 (301) 458-0883Follow Robin on Insight Timer: https://insighttimer.com/robinsmithBook an appointment: https://robin-smith.clientsecure.me/request/serviceBecome a supporter on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therobinsmithshowGot a question? We'd love to hear from you!
Four operators in Western Canadian agriculture spent thirty days building with AI, then sat down to tell Dan Aberhart what actually changed. An independent agronomist carrying sixty-plus harvests of judgment, a six-thousand-acre farmer who calls himself a nine who never finishes anything, an entrepreneur scaling a plasma-activated-water nitrogen business, and a Saskatchewan farmland realtor running a team of thirteen all walked into the same AI cohort a month earlier. What they bring back: a satellite-imagery call that stopped an unnecessary reseed, a combine deal an AI advisor told them to walk away from, an agent built at four in the morning that caught financial red flags nobody assigned it to find, and a hard-conversation coach one of them didn't know he needed. Topics and Timestamps 0:00 -- Cold open: the AI cohort joke 2:51 -- Welcome to Growing the Future Productions Live 4:15 -- How this started: 60 days from signal to launch 7:08 -- Meet the panel: Robert, Joe, Chris, Tim 15:16 -- What business problem each of them was actually trying to solve 20:20 -- What the personal operating diagnostic revealed about each of them 30:00 -- Talking openly about AI skepticism and confidentiality 35:39 -- Robert: the gopher-field call satellite imagery corrected 40:34 -- Joe: the combine deal, the AI advisory board, and slowing down emotional decisions 42:51 -- Chris: building diagnostics and agents for the whole team 43:52 -- Tim: the AI tool built to help him have hard conversations 45:57 -- Tim: strategic blueprints and running land-value scenarios 48:24 -- Where each of them takes this next 55:06 -- Cohort 2 details: dates, seats, price, and the guarantee 56:02 -- The real vision: a course with a room, or a room with a course 57:53 -- Closing words from the panel 59:57 -- Sign-off Resources Mentioned GYFOS (Growing Your Future Operating System) Cohort 2 -- application at growingthefuture.ca Personal Operating Diagnostic (built from Kolbe, CliftonStrengths, and Enneagram assessments) AgriTrend -- the independent agronomy mentorship network Robert Woolf came up through Nitride Corp / Green Lightning -- plasma-activated water, a nitrogen source Pioneer Seed and Covers & Co. -- Joe Larre's seed businesses Hammond Realty -- Saskatchewan farmland brokerage Connect with the Panel Robert Woolf CCA -- Crop Innovations Inc., independent agronomy Joe Larre -- MJM Ranches, St. Walburg SK (Pioneer Seed, Covers & Co.) Chris Nykolaishen -- Nitride Corp Tim Hammond -- Hammond Realty Connect with Growing the Future Website: growingthefuture.ca YouTube: Growing the Future Instagram: @growingthefuturepodcast LinkedIn: Growing the Future Register for the Convergence Conference at convergence.ag and stay updated by subscribing to the Growing the Future Podcast at growingthefuturepodcast.ca.
When you start asking questions like, “What’s the point?” And you wonder, “Who am I really?” and “What am I doing here?” That’s when you know that you are ready to begin a soul discovery journey. And today’s guest is Helen Plehn, who’s the founder of Helen Creates Beauty, and the award-winning author of “The Aura Color Wheel.” This Aura Color Wheel is a soul discovery system that helps people identify their life purpose through their soul aura color. Join us to find out more! Helen Plehn was born in China and raised in Hong Kong attending weekly mystical orchid tea ceremonies in the mountainside orchid garden. After moving to the U.S., Helen achieved PhD level education and a stable, highly successful profession in data analytics. Depression, severe anxiety and panic attacks set her on a journey of self discovery to find true fulfillment and happiness. Now, Helen is an intuitive painter, an angel channeler, a certified crystal healer, an aura reader, a certified yoga teacher and Theta healer. Helen is the creator, founder and award-winning author of the “Aura Color Wheel”, and hostess of the Aura Evolution Podcast. The founder of Helen Creates Beauty where she offers Psychic Readings, Public Speaking, Spiritual Coaching, a private Facebook group for Q&A and support and online courses by integrating systems such as Western and Vedic astrology, numerology, the Enneagram, Human Design, Gene Keys, and Feng Shui to help you find and live your purpose with clarity, joy, and fulfillment. Watch or listen to the show to learn how you can find your purpose and love with clarity, joy, and fulfillment. You’re Invited! READ: The Aura Color Wheel https://www.amazon.com/dp/1401995438?psc=1&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER Free Soul Aura Color Quiz https://helencreatesbeauty.pro.typeform.com/Soulauracolor Free Unlock Your Soul Purpose with the Aura Color Wheel Masterclass https://www.auracolorwheel.com/acwmasterclass Aura Color Wheel Book Purchase Bonuses https://download.helencreatesbeauty.com/book/ HELEN PLEHN BIO Helen Ye Plehn is the founder of Helen Creates Beauty and the award-winning author of The Aura Color Wheel, published by Hay House. She created the Aura Color Wheel™, a soul discovery system that helps people identify their life purpose through their Soul Aura Color. Helen is an intuitive painter, angel channeler, certified crystal healer, third-generation Feng Shui master, and Flamenco dancer. She is also the host of the Aura Evolution Podcast. Her mission is to help one million souls discover and live their purpose with joy and fulfillment. LINKS Website: www.helencreatesbeauty.com Aura Evolution Podcast: https://aura-evolution-podcast.captivate.fm/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/helencreatesbeauty Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/helencreatesbeauty TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@helencreatesbeauty YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@auracolorwheel LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/helenplehn/ YOUR GUIDE TO SOUL NECTAR: KERRI HUMMINGBIRD Kerri Hummingbird, Medicine Woman, Mother and Mentor, is the Founder of Inner Medicine Training, a Mystery School that shares potent ancient traditions from the Andes and Himalayas for owning your wisdom and living your purpose. She is the #1 international best-selling author of “Inner Medicine: Becoming One with Mother Earth for the Survival of Humanity”, “Love Is Fierce: Healing the Mother Wound”, “The Second Wave: Transcending the Human Drama” (on the int'l bestseller charts for over 6 years) and the award-winning best-selling book “Awakening To Me: One Woman's Journey To Self Love” which describes the early years of her spiritual awakening. As the host of Soul Nectar Show, Ms. Hummingbird inspires people to lead their lives wide awake with an authenticity, passion and purpose that positively impacts others. As a healer and mentor, she catalyzes mind-shifts that transform life challenges into gifts of wisdom. If you are wondering what the heck is going on, the answer is simple. We are in the process of a massive shift in consciousness that can most aptly be described as the metamorphosis from caterpillar to butterfly. As a medicine woman, I guide you to the next deepest understanding and embodiment of yourself as a spiritual being. Whether you receive a shamanic healing session, participate in the Reinvent Yourself Training program, or join us for Inner Medicine Training, one thing is certain: you will connect more deeply with your true self and learn to navigate the changes in your life from an empowered space within. SCHEDULE A FREE DISCOVERY SESSION: https://tinyurl.com/SoulNectarChat JOIN SOUL NECTAR TRIBE! https://kerrihummingbird.com/membership In Soul Nectar Tribe, we are joining forces to influence a new conversation on the planet…one that respects and honors all of life and looks forward seven generations to ensure the consequences of our actions are what we choose to create for our descendents. When we join our sparks together in community and comraderie, we become a powerful beacon of light and hope. FREE GIFTS! 1. Receive the free Reinvent Yourself ebook and guided meditations at http://www.kerrihummingbird.com/gift 2. Receive the Second Wave Guided Meditation Pack for free at http://www.thesecondwave.media LINKS FOR KERRI HUMMINGBIRD Website: www.kerrihummingbird.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kerri.hummingbird.sami Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kerri.hummingbird/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@soulnectarshow LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kerrihummingbird/
"Grief isn't always about losing what was. Sometimes it's grieving what you thought would be."What happens when grief collides with personality, parenting, and identity?Today I'm joined by Enneagram teacher, author, and Type-ish founder Tyler Zach for a conversation about infertility, adoption, parenting through unexpected challenges, and the grief of letting go of the futures we imagined.Together, we explore how personality shapes the way we grieve, why loss often looks different inside relationships, and what it means to honor grief without trying to fix it.In this episode, we talk about:How personality shapes the grieving processInfertility, adoption, and parenting through lossGrieving unmet expectations for ourselves and our childrenShame, achievement, and the Type 3 experienceIdentity shifts and leaving ministryWhy grief looks different for different peopleWhat it means to let go and move forward with honestyLinks + Resources from this episode:Learn more about Type-ish: https://www.typeish.com/Buy a copy of Tyler's booksFollow Mandy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandycapehartBecome a Patron / Get the Workbook: https://www.patreon.com/mandycapehart
What You'll Hear in This EpisodeType 6s usually think through every angle before they say a word; they care deeply about fairness, and their loyalty to the people around them means the feedback is coming from a real place. But the same striving to feel certain and secure that makes Sixes so thorough can also turn a feedback conversation into something that gets overthought, over-qualified, or quietly avoided because the Six isn't quite sure how it's going to land.We walk through three things to do and three things to avoid when giving feedback as a Type 6, including a specific phrase you can try that signals loyalty first and makes the hard part easier to say.3 Things to DO as a Type 6 When Giving FeedbackTrust the preparation you've already done. Sixes rarely go into a feedback conversation underprepared. You've thought about it carefully, you've considered their perspective, and you know what you want to say. Trust that work. You are more ready than you feel in the moment.Lead with the relationship. Sixes are deeply loyal, and that loyalty is visible to the people around them. Let the other person feel it before the feedback lands. A genuine "I'm telling you this because I'm in your corner" goes a long way, and coming from a Six, it's completely true.Be specific and concrete. You've already done the analysis. Now, bring it into the room with you. Specific observations tied to real moments are far harder to dismiss than general impressions, and they give the other person something they can actually work with rather than something they can talk themselves out of.3 Things to AVOID as a Type 6 When Giving FeedbackOver-qualifying until the message gets buried. Sixes can hedge so carefully, covering every angle, acknowledging every exception, making sure nothing sounds too absolute, that the actual feedback gets lost somewhere in the caveats. Say the thing, then trust the other person to hold it.Waiting until you're absolutely certain before saying anything. Certainty is not a prerequisite for a useful feedback conversation. If you're waiting until you have ironclad evidence and the perfect moment lined up, that moment will keep not arriving. Good enough and timely beats perfect and late every single time.Letting the anticipated reaction run the show. Sixes are wired to scan for what could go wrong, including in interpersonal conversations. If you've already mentally rehearsed them getting defensive, shutting down, or pushing back, that anxiety can start shaping how you deliver the feedback before anything has actually happened. Bring yourself back to what's real, not what's possible.After listening:If this resonated, share it with a Type 6 on your team or the manager who leads one. Want type-specific prompts for feedback conversations across all nine types? The Manager's Prompt Pack has you covered. Grab it at enneagrammba.com/resources.Interested in bringing this kind of practical Enneagram insight to your whole team? We'd love to talk about a workshop or retreat. Reach out at enneagrammba.com.Have a request for a future episode? Drop a text here!
As a special invitation in the middle of our summer exploring desire and intimacy in marriage, Christa pauses to learn from and to share an experience with a soulful friend, welcoming Meredith Hite Estevez, a Juilliard-trained oboist, writer, creative coach, and Enneagram Type 4 married to a Type 7, for a conversation about her beautiful new book, Art Is How God Loves Us. Meredith reframes art not as a measure of talent but as something available to every one of us, a way God speaks, heals, and draws us close. Together they explore how beauty and brokenness alike become places of divine connection, why creativity is a form of communion, and what it means to see yourself as a work of art, beloved, unfinished, and held by a Creator who has not stopped creating you. This is an invitation to dig in personally, not just as a couple, but just you and God! Read Art is How God Loves Us here! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G6TGQDVX?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback www.ArtistsforJoy.com Listen to Meredith's award-winning podcast here! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/artists-for-joy/id1509742324 Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Take the E + M Quiz at www.QuizforCouples.com Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here! Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Most people who know the Enneagram know their type. Fewer know their Basic Fear. And even fewer have sat with it long enough to understand why knowing your basic fear is so important. In this episode — the second in our Enneagram Essentials series — Anthony and I go beneath the type descriptions and into the motivational core of the system: the nine Basic Fears and their counterparts, the nine Basic Desires. These are the engine underneath every pattern the Enneagram describes. We go through all nine — what each type is running from, what it's running toward, and what it actually looks like when that fear is in the driver's seat. I also share something personal about what the fear of being ordinary has looked like in my own life as a Four. And we close with a practical practice you can start this week — one that will tell you more about your type than most assessments will. If you've been wondering why the Enneagram sometimes feels like it's describing your behavior but not quite explaining it, this is the episode. The explanation lives here. **This episode is part of the Enneagram Essentials series. Start with Episode 1 if you're new — it's a listener mailbag covering the basics and framing the series. For additional Enneagram resources, visit https://IanMorganCron.com To register for the Enneagram Ones webinar, "Learning to Let Go," visit https://ianmorgancron.com/lettinggo
After more than a decade of releasing this show on Mondays, I'm moving it to Wednesdays, and this is the first episode of the new time slot. On the one hand, this might sound like nothing at all, but it's also a big deal, for you and for me, and in this episode, I explain why I'm making the change, and past guests give some tips on sustainable creativity for the long term. Joanna Penn is an award-winning New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of thrillers, dark fantasy, short stories and travel memoir under J.F. Penn and also writes non-fiction for authors and hosts The Creative Penn Podcast. Why the podcast is moving to Wednesdays (1) Take time out to question what you're doing (2) Learn to pivot if you want to keep going long term(3) Set a sustainable pace, and don't build reader expectations you can't deliver on (4) Don't try to do it all, and try to identify the fear that might be driving your choices (5) Question what still serves you, especially as things continue to change(6) Consider different approaches to creativity. It doesn't have to be every day, or every week(7) Creative humans evolve. Build a body of work for the long term. You can find the backlist episodes at TheCreativePenn.com/podcast, just click into the episode to find the transcript. Why The Podcast Is Moving To Wednesdays, And 7 Tips for Sustainable Creativity Here's my big news! After more than a decade of releasing this show on Mondays, I'm moving it to Wednesdays, and this is the first episode of the new time slot. On the one hand, this might sound like nothing at all, but it's also a big deal, for you and for me! I know many of you have a routine of listening to the show during a certain thing on a Monday, so I'm sorry to have to disrupt that, and I hope I don't lose you along the way — although I guess you could just save the episode for Monday! For me, it's a much bigger deal, because a Monday show has meant I have often recorded the intro and edited and scheduled the episode over the weekend. The main reason is that I need to record in the mornings when I have energy and when the house is less noisy, since Jonathan is often on the phone since he works from home as well. So I would prepare the episode on Fridays, and I type out this intro before reading it, and source the news and my thoughts and all that — and then I'd record it Saturday morning, or Sunday morning if Saturday was busy — and so recently, I have felt like something has to change. Moving the show to a Wednesday means that I can prep on Monday and Tuesday, which is perfect. Its so funny because I agonised over this, in the same way I agonised over changing the theme tune a few years back. Some of you may remember that — and it also turned out to not be a big deal at all. We build things up in our minds and then sometimes the problem can be solved in a different way. So instead of going to ad hoc episodes, or once every two weeks, I hope that moving to Wednesday makes the show more sustainable again, because let's face it, there's a lot going on, and if I did a show every 2 weeks, I might have to make them longer to get through everything! So, same show, just on Wednesdays from now on. And this change underscores what today's episode is about: sustainable creativity over the long term. How do you keep writing, and publishing, and podcasting — and creating for years — and I am now at two decades — without burning out, and without becoming a slave to the algorithm, or the market, or even your own audience's expectations? The goal is not to just survive this year's release schedule, or to keep feeding the machine until you crumble under the speed of it all. The goal is to still be creating, and still be enjoying it, next month, next year, in five years, in 10 years, in 20, in 30. Who knows how many years we all have left — but for sure, we are NOT machines, we are not AI — and we cannot churn it out – and what is the point of that anyway? So in today's show, I'll share some thoughts and tips from me and also other authors from the show on this topic, and you can find the full episodes in the backlist, and links as ever in the show notes on TheCreativePenn.com/podcast (1) Take time out to question what you're doing In early 2024, The Tim Ferriss Show, one of the biggest podcasts in the world, hit its ten-year anniversary with over a billion downloads and over 750 episodes, and Tim decided to take a sabbatical. He paused the show for four months and seriously questioned whether to continue. Not because it was failing, it was hugely profitable and he enjoyed talking to people, but because the landscape had changed. Podcasting had gone from a wide-open space in 2014 to a saturated market, and his question wasn't “can I keep competing?” It was “is this still the game I want to play?” Just a little note here, I started The Creative Penn Podcast in 2009 when there were even fewer shows so I know a lot about a changing podcast market! After four months, Tim came back from what he called a sabbatical with a blog post on My New Rules for Podcasting — To Keep Things Interesting. He starts with the sheer number of podcasts, saying, “Having a good show is no longer good enough. Having a great show is no longer good enough. If you want to survive in the mindshare of listeners, you need differentiation.” I think this is true for us as authors as well as podcasters, or YouTubers, or social media, or anything. But the good news is that your differentiation can be you. Regular listeners will know that I have questioned ending the show over the years, worried that I was no longer useful, or that my voice no longer mattered when there are so many podcasts on similar topics. But after your wonderful feedback, and the fact that the show still gets a lot of downloads every week, and the growth in my Patreon Community, I don't worry about that anymore. It's unlikely that any of us will have a podcast as big as Tim Ferriss's or sell as many books as The Four Hour Work Week, but that's OK, because we are not Tim. I am Jo Penn and you're here because you find my take on the publishing industry is still useful in some way. When it's not anymore, you will go elsewhere, and I find myself at peace with that. Back to Tim's article — he asks some questions of himself, including:If I get to do this for another decade, or had to do this for another decade, what new rules might I create to keep it interesting? Of course, we all have different ideas of what this means for us. And I have already implemented one of these rules, which is that I interview people on topics I find interesting. I frequently get pitched by more famous authors and bigger names, but most of the time I turn them down, and choose to talk to people who are not famous but are more interested in serving you, my audience, because that is the point of this show. I also have people on that I enjoy talking to, because checking in with my friends while you listen in, can be useful too, since my friends are often authors who've been in the industry a while now. I have to make the interviews time that I find interesting or useful or fulfilling as well. But the point is to stop and take time to consider what might need to change, even if you are really successful. You cannot be a slave to the algorithm, to the media, to your audience, for the long term. You have to put some circuit breakers in sometimes. It's the old adage about the small business. You have to work ON in the business, not just IN the business, which means you need to step away. This does sometimes mean that you have to get away physically. I had this realisation while we were in Bruges in Belgium talking to Jonathan about what changes I could make because I just felt a lack of freedom — and freedom is my highest value, so I really need to honour that. So, the first question for you is: If you feel like you need a change, if your routines are becoming too much, or your workload is too much, or you are eating into time you need for rest and recovery or family or whatever you need, can you schedule time out to have a think about what you need and how things can change? You don't need to burn it all down. You might find the answer is just moving the show from a Monday to a Wednesday! (2) Learn to pivot if you want to keep going long term I love talking to authors who have been doing this career for a long time, and in December 2025 in episode 839, I talked to Jennifer Probst, the New York Times bestselling romance author of more than sixty books, about why some authors build decades-long careers while others vanish after one breakout. Jennifer has been through the indie gold rush, the fallout, traditional deals, Kickstarter, all of it, and I asked her how she thinks about how everything keeps changing, and we start with marketing but it goes much further than that. Writing Free: Romance Author Jennifer Probst On A Long-Term Author Career *** Jo: In terms of how we do marketing, TikTok is still a thing, and we can see maybe generative AI search coming on the horizon and agentic buying. A decade ago it might have been different, more Facebook ads or whatever. Then before that it might have been something else. So there's always things changing along the way. Jennifer: Yes, there definitely is. It is a very oversaturated market. They talk about, I don't know, 2010 to 2016 maybe, as the gold rush, because that was where you could make a lot of money as an indie. Then we saw the total fallout of so many different things. I feel like I've gone through so many ups and downs in the industry. I do love it because the longer you're around, the more you learn how to pivot. If you want this career, you learn how to write differently or do whatever you need to do to keep going, in different aspects, with the changes. To me, that makes the industry exciting. Again, perspective is a big thing. But I have had to take a year to kind of rebuild when I was out of contract with a lot of things. I've had to say, “Okay, what do you see on the horizon now? Where is the new foundation? Where do you wanna restart?” Sometimes it takes a year or two of, “Maybe I won't be making big income and I cut back,” but then you're back in it, because it takes a while to write a few new books, or write under a pen name, or however you want to pivot your way back into the industry. Or, like you were saying, diversifying. I did a lot of non-fiction stuff because that's a big calling for me, so I put that into the primary for a while. I think it's important for authors to maybe not just have one thing. When that one thing goes away, you're scrambling. It's good to have a couple of different things like, “Well, okay, this genre is dead or this thing is dead or this isn't making money. Let me go to this for a little while until I see new things on the horizon.” *** I love that from Jennifer, because there are always new things on the horizon, and we try new things and we pivot, and we bring in other streams of income as some drop off, and we go again and we keep creating. Authors with longevity are authors who pivot over their careers. They may lament the end of one era, but they don't stop, they find a new way forward. (3) Set a sustainable pace, and don't build reader expectations you can't deliver on Kevin J. Anderson is one of the most productive writers alive, with hundreds of books, most of which he writes with dictation while out hiking, and he has been on this show many times. In January 2025, in episode 791, we talked about building a long-term author business, and how authors need to be careful about setting reader expectations around pace of releases. Building A Long Term Author Business, Dictation, Kickstarter, and Short Story Collections With Kevin J Anderson Kevin: Now, again, we get back to the longevity of a career. It is exhausting to write lots of books a year, and most people can't keep doing that for 20 years or 30 years. That's one of the reasons, especially indie authors, where readers expect you to write several books a year. Some indie authors I know are writing a book a month. I couldn't do that for any long period. Well, I couldn't do that probably for a single year. You start building expectations, and when you fail to meet those expectations, they will leave you very quickly. That's why you should have Plan Bs. If you really, really can't stand writing your steampunk vampire romance series after book number 29, well, make sure that you have some other series you're starting and building up. Well, Hugh Howey's got several series that are going. Michael Anderle has all kinds of series, and Craig Martelle has all kinds of series. You don't just put all your eggs in one basket. You need to have Plan B and Plan C, to circle around to what I started with. *** Whatever cadence you choose, for your books, your email newsletters, or or your podcast, or your social media, choose a pace you can still be keeping up in a decade, because this is a long term career, and longevity in the market is one of the most important things. It's better to pace yourself than burn out. (4) Don't try to do it all, and try to identify the fear that might be driving your choices I couldn't do an episode on sustainability without Becca Syme! Becca is an author coach who has worked with thousands of writers, she is the creator of the Better-Faster Academy and the Quit books, and the QuitCast podcast — and In January 2023, in episode 668, at the end of our conversation about intuitive writing and marketing, I asked her what authors who sustain long careers have in common. Intuitive Writing And Book Marketing With Becca Syme *** Joanna: So in terms of sustainability, let's talk about that. You coach writers every day, you see writers on every spectrum of every personality type, and people who write differently and release differently and publish differently. So what do you see as your recommendations or, I guess, commonalities for authors who want this sustainable career as a writer for the long term in order not to burn out? What are you seeing in terms of the best way to be sustainable in a creative career? Becca: Conquering the fear that we have that we're not going to get what we want out of the career, like 100%. Because the fear is the thing that's driving us to burn ourselves out. The fear that if I don't do it this way, I'm not going to make money. If I don't do it this way, I'm not going to have a long career. I'm going to miss out on something if I don't do absolutely everything. And then I think the most important knowledge that we can have is that everyone in this industry who's a nonfiction person, including me, is giving you a perspective on how author life can be done. Every single one of us, not the perspective on how it should be done in order to have success. And if we could just change our expectations of how we look at the people who are helping us who are being good, helpful people who are very sure that their way is the correct way and who should be, again, because like all experts, they've had success doing what they are doing. But the downside is from someone whose job is to sit with authors for 45 minutes at a time, all day, every day, I see the outcome of the people who have tried to “do it all,” in quotes, with capital letters, and who are burned out because they were doing everything out of a fear place. And I think one of the best things that can happen in our — and what burnout often does is it forces us to reckon with the fact that we were doing all of this because we were afraid. My book isn't going to sell, I'm not going to be able to do this, I have this dream that I'm holding on to and what happens if it doesn't manifest itself. Then we make a lot of our decisions about how much to take on based on fear, and we don't know it. Because we don't realize that our brains are wired for survival, and so anytime fear kicks in, your brain is like, well, we have to do that because if you're afraid of it, then that must mean that we need it in order to survive. And we don't. We will survive if our books don't sell. We have to calm that fear and answer the question. Like, what will happen if in five years, I have not sold more than $1,000 on every book that I am writing? Like if each of the individual books that I write have not made more than $1,000. And I have to reckon with what might happen if that happens, because if I don't, that fear is going to drive me to burnout over and over and over and over again. That is why we're making so many of our decisions, including: do I pay for this class or conference? Do I pay for this book? Do I spend money on this advertising? Do I hire this expert consultant? So many of us are making those choices out of fear and we don't realize it. And that's why when we do our public live coaching, and whenever I'm at a conference, I'm always listening for, “but what are you afraid is not going to happen? Or what are you afraid is going to happen?” Because if we don't deconstruct that part of yourself and calm your survival mechanism down, you're going to continue over and over again to make those decisions out of fear. Then you're going to not listen to your intuition because you think it's risky to listen to it. And so I really think, and some of this might include therapy for some of us, I'm just going to acknowledge some of us have trauma around not getting what we want or around not actualizing our desires, and we can't just talk ourselves into letting the fear go. But some of us do just need to consistently confront the fear and make a plan for what happens and then act in spite of that fear because we are not making good decisions when we are in survival mode. *** Becca is very wise, and also pretty hardcore! So if you feel like you are trying to do it all, and you are on the edge of burning out, can you identify the fear beneath it? (5) Question what still serves you, especially as things continue to change Sometimes we keep doing things the same way, even when things have changed. What is lost if we give things up? What is gained? And what kind of game do you want to play? In episode 845, Claire Taylor, humour and mystery author, owner of FFS Media, certified Enneagram coach, talks about how social media has changed and why she gave it up. Leaving Social Media, Writing Iconic Characters, and Building Trust With Claire Taylor *** Joanna: One thing I know will have perked up people's ears is: “I left social media.” Tell us a bit more about that. Claire: This was a move that I could feel coming for a while. I didn't like what social media did to my attention. Even when I wasn't on it, there was almost a hangover from having been on it. My attention didn't feel as sharp and focused as it used to be, back before social media became what it is now. So I started asking myself some questions: What is lost if I leave? What is gained if I leave? And what is social media actually doing for me today? Because sometimes we hold on to what it used to do for us, and we keep trying to squeeze more and more of that out of it. But it has changed so much. There are almost no places with sufficient organic reach anymore. It's all pay-to-play, and the cost of pay-to-play keeps going up. I looked at the numbers for my business. My Kickstarter was a great place to analyse that because they track so many traffic sources so clearly. I could see exactly how much I was getting from social media when I advertised and promoted my projects there. Then I asked: can I let that go in order to get my attention back and make my life feel more settled? And I decided: yes, I can. That's worth more to me. Joanna: There are some things money can't buy. Sometimes it really isn't about the money. I like your question: what is lost and what is gained? You also said it's all pay-to-play and there's no organic reach. I do think there is some organic reach for some people who don't pay, but those people are very good at playing the game of whatever the platform wants. So, TikTok for example—you might not have to pay money yet, but you do have to play their game. You have to pay with your time instead of money. I agree with you. I don't think there's anywhere you can literally just post something and know it will reliably reach the people who follow you. Claire: Right. Exactly. TikTok currently, if you really play the game, will sometimes “pick” you, right? But that “pick me” energy is not really my jam. And we can see the trend—this “organic” thing doesn't last. It's organic for now. You can play the game for now, but TikTok would be crazy not to change things so they make more money. So eventually everything becomes pay-to-play. TikTok is fun, but for me it's addictive. I took it off my phone years ago because I would do the infinite scroll. There's so much candy there. Then I'd wake up the next morning and notice my mood just wasn't where I wanted it to be. My energy was low. I really saw a correlation between how much I scrolled and how flat I felt afterwards. So I realised: I'm not the person to pay-to-play or to play the game here. I'm not even convinced that the pay-to-play on certain social media networks is being tracked in a reliable, accountable way anymore. Who is holding them accountable for those numbers? You can sort of see correlation in your sales, but still, I just became more and more sceptical. In the end, it just wasn't for me. My life is so much better on a daily basis without it. That's definitely a decision I have not regretted for a second. **** To be clear, we're not saying you should give up social media, but it's about questioning how things make you feel, and what you can sustain and how you want to spend your time. I did question once again whether to give up this show entirely, but it is an important part of my creative body of work, and quite frankly, I reach more people with the podcast than I do with my books, and I still love talking to people, and I learn, and it underpins my business. I don't do much social media though. I learn about AI things on X and I do post photos and things on Instagram but I don't do much else. You have to decide what is right for you, but also, what is right for you might change over time. If we have a long term career, or a long term anything, things will change, and we will need to move on sometimes, or at least question whether it is still working in the way it used to. (6) Consider different approaches to creativity. It doesn't have to be every day, or every week. In April 2026, in episode 858, I talked to Sara Rosett, USA Today bestselling mystery author and co-host of the Wish I'd Known Then podcast, about low-key marketing, and a more seasonal approach, or phased approach to podcasting as well as writing. Special Editions, Seasonal Podcasts, and the Art of Low-Key Book Marketing with Sara Rosett *** Jo: Although I must say I had forgotten about your Mystery Books podcast and going to seasonal. I also had my second podcast, Books and Travel, which is now on a kind of hiatus, but going to a seasonal approach is actually really interesting. Do you find that listeners come back to that podcast? Sara: Yes, and it surprises me because I've always thought you have to be weekly with a podcast to gain any traction at all, which I think is the best way to do it. You can build an audience quickly then, but I just knew I couldn't sustain that. So when I set out, I started with maybe seven to ten episodes and I did them each year — each year has had a season — and I do five to ten episodes. Readers find it, and I have highlighted specific books. I think maybe they're searching for a podcast about the Thursday Murder Club or something like that. They find it that way, and I get downloads, just steady downloads throughout the year, and I don't do much. I do some Pinterest pins for that, and that's about all I do. This is one of those things — it's the kind of low-key marketing that's low threshold, but it does work. I think if your readers are looking for stuff to listen to about the topic you write about, it could be a good way to do some low-cost, long-tail marketing. I love it. I keep doing it because I love it. Jo: That just seems more sustainable to me. I didn't like doing everything every day or every single week. Sara: Me either. I like switching it up, and I do enjoy the different phases of writing. I like the research and then I like doing the — well, I don't like the drafting that much, but once I get a draft done, I like the editing. And then when it comes time to promote it or do a special edition or whatever, I enjoy that part. Finding whatever I'm going to use for the interior photos and stuff — just things like that. I enjoy each phase and I like switching it out. Jo: I think that's really good. Some people think this writer's life is you write new words every single day and you manage your ads every single day. That seems to be what some people do, but that's certainly not us, is it? Sara: No. And that's great if you want to do that. I just don't want to. And I think we've come to the point now where each person can do this as they want. Hopefully people don't feel the pressure to meet these self-imposed deadlines or parameters that don't exist. There's no rules for writing or publishing. You can do whatever you want. *** I am definitely a seasonal creator, I don't write every day. I never have. I binge write when a book emerges, or binge create. As I record this I am working on the treatment and trailer for what is now called Cathedral Zero, a positive futurist sci-fi feature film that I am entering in the FutureVision X Prize in the next week or so, and then I will move to the next project. I also love Kickstarter launches for this reason. They feel much more sustainable because it's such a focused marketing push. My Books and Travel Podcast is still on hiatus, but I may still resurrect that at some point. I still feel the pull of it. And of course, this show remains weekly, but the Wednesday shift will hopefully help keep it this way. I can't see me going seasonal with this, but never say never! The main thing is to consider seasonality, or consider phased approaches to your work, rather than trying to do exactly the same thing week in week out. (7) Creative humans evolve. Build a body of work for the long term. Roz Morris first came on this podcast in 2011, and in March 2026, in episode 853 we talked about her memoir, discovery writing, and slow, sustainable book marketing. Roz is an award-nominated literary author and former bestselling ghostwriter, an editor and I always appreciate her perspective as she has been doing this far longer than I have. **** JOANNA: Do you still actively choose indie for a particular reason? ROZ: I do. I really like building my own body of work, and I'm now experienced enough to know what I do well, what I need advice with, and help with. I mean, we don't do all this completely by ourselves, do we? We bring in experts who will give us the right feedback if we're doing a new genre or a genre that's new to us. I choose indie because I like the control. Because I began in traditional publishing—I was making books for other people—I just learned all the trades and how to do everything to a professional standard. I love being able to apply that to my own work. I also love the way I can decide what I'm going to write next. If I was traditionally published, I would have to do something that fitted with whatever the publisher would want of me, and that isn't necessarily where my muse is taking me or what I've become interested in. I think creative humans evolve throughout their lives. They become interested in different things, different themes, different ways of expressing themselves. I began by thinking I would just write novels, and now I've found myself writing memoirs as well. That shift would have been difficult if someone else was having to make me fit into their marketing plans or what their imprint was known for. But because I've built my own audience, I can just bring them with me and say, “You might like this. It's still me. I'm just doing something different.” **** Inspiring words from Roz there — “It's still me, I'm just doing something different.” And indeed, I am a very different Jo from the new author who started this podcast back in March 2009. I have evolved and this show has evolved and this is not the end, it is a new phase. It's funny because it's just a shift of two days, but it also breaks a habit, for you listening and for me creating. It changes a time slot, and that itself can be a way to change energy, to change direction, to shift what matters and how we do things. So that's what I want to leave you with today. A question around how shifting something, even something small, might make a big difference to your creative body of work, the quality of time you have for yourself or your family, and I'd love to know what you think about today's episode and what we covered, as well as your thoughts on the Wednesday shift. Please leave a comment on the show notes, or the YouTube channel, or email me. I will see you next Wednesday, so happy writing and I'll see you next time!The post Why The Podcast Is Moving To Wednesdays, And 7 Tips for Sustainable Creativity first appeared on The Creative Penn.
Today, Christa reveals the surprising other half of the connection coin when it comes to sexual intimacy: desire does not only need safety, it needs aliveness. Christa names the play deficit that creeps into long marriages as we become expert co-managers of a household and forget how to delight in each other, and shares Amy Muise's fascinating research on self-expansion, the finding that novel, creative activities done together are directly linked to higher sexual desire in long-term couples, even for those genuinely struggling with low desire. Come learn about play as the neurological fuel for wanting, a kind of foreplay that lowers the brake and presses the accelerator at once! Watch on YouTube! Get the Awakening Intimacy Journal here! Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Take the E + M Quiz at www.QuizforCouples.com Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here! Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
I love when I get to learn from fellow Enneagram coaches and hear about their real-world experiences and fresh takes.In this episode, I had the opportunity to sit down with Lee Fields and Seth "Creek" Creekmore, co-founders of Analog Enneagram, to discuss the coworker chemistry between the Enneagram Type 1 (Striving to Feel Perfect) and Type 4 (Striving to Feel Unique).Lee is a certified Enneagram coach and teacher who serves as VP of the IEA Southeast chapter and on faculty with Awareness to Action. Creek is a coach, musician, and podcast producer behind Fathoms, the Awareness to Action Podcast, and the IEA's podcast. Together they bring serious depth to this framework, and honestly, this was one of the most thoughtful, insight-packed conversations I've had on the show.Lee represented the One, Creek represented the Four, and what unfolded was a refreshing, honest, funny, and real-life look at how these two types show up in working relationships and on teams; from the quiet trust-building in the beginning of a One-Four dynamic, to the friction points around identity and rigidity, to the surprising gifts each type brings when they're working well together.If you work with a One or a Four, lead one, or are one yourself, this episode will give you language for dynamics you've probably felt but never quite named.Connect with Lee & Creek:
How do you become more courageous?Most of us think courage is reserved for life's biggest moments... a difficult conversation, a career change, or a leap of faith. But what if courage is actually built long before those moments arrive?In this episode of Strength in Numbers, Jilann continues the Quiet Strength: The Power of Heart Postures series by exploring how quiet leaders develop a courageous heart through small, everyday choices.From speaking up in a meeting to setting a healthy boundary or taking the next faithful step before you feel completely ready, courage isn't something you suddenly have; it's something you practice.Using practical leadership insights, a personal story, and the Enneagram, Jilann shares why courage looks different for each of us and how every small act of bravery prepares us for the bigger moments ahead.Why courage is built through everyday choices, not just life-changing momentsHow small acts of bravery strengthen your confidence over timeHow different Enneagram patterns influence the way we practice courageWhy you don't have to become someone else to become more courageousSimple ways to begin taking your next courageous step todayHow quiet leaders can grow in courage while staying true to who they areIf you've been waiting until you feel more confident before taking action, this episode offers a different perspective: confidence often grows because you choose courage first.You'll also hear about the Quiet Strength Gathering, a monthly online community where quiet leaders continue these conversations, encourage one another, and practice leading with greater courage, confidence, and authenticity.Keywords: courage, build courage, quiet leadership, courageous leadership, Enneagram, confidence, overcoming fear, personal growth, leadership development, authentic leadership, emotional resilience, self-awareness, women leaders, thoughtful leadership, Strength in Numbers podcast
Think you're an Enneagram 7, but you don't quite match the description? This episode is for you. Cassie is a countertype 7. If you don't know what that means, listen up and prepare to learn A LOT! Check out The Coven Try the Free Enneagram Quiz!!!! Message me on Instagram @Angie.Alchemist and ask all your Enneagram questions! OR email me at angiealchemy@gmail.com Check out more at AngieAlchemist.com
Have you ever taken the Enneagram quiz… and immediately wondered if you actually got your type right? You're not alone! This week, I'm chatting with Enneagram coach Amy Wicks (The Wholehearted Enneagram) about why the Enneagram is so much more than a personality test, it's a tool for understanding the why behind your thoughts, habits, fears, and relationships. We talk about why so many women mistype themselves (I definitely did!), how each of the nine types is motivated differently, and the simple “tiny tweak” every type can make to grow in confidence, connection, and self-compassion. Whether you're brand new to the Enneagram or already know your number, this conversation will help you better understand yourself, love the people around you more intentionally, and maybe even give yourself a little more grace along the way. Mentioned in This Episode:
Send us Fan MailContent note: This episode includes a discussion of suicidal ideation as part of Nathan's testimony. If you or someone you know is struggling, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available by call or text, 24/7.This month's Enneagram journey is on a midsummer pause, and so today, a spontaneous detour. Actor Nathan Gamble (Babel, Marley and Me, Bad Counselors, in theaters July 22–27) joins Amy for a conversation that starts with summer camp and Hollywood and ends up somewhere much deeper: his own Enneagram 3 story, how personality tools shaped his work on set, and the testimony behind his faith, including an honest, vulnerable season most guests wouldn't share out loud. This is a fun, unexpected, and ultimately tender conversation for the middle of your summer.https://www.badcounselors.com/https://www.instagram.com/nathanleegamble/A new show coming soon! https://www.instagram.com/bible_college/Support the showRESOURCES FOR YOU:Join the Waitlist for 1:1 Coaching with Amy Wickshttps://www.simplywholehearted.com/callamywicksNot sure about your Enneagram Type? Start here: https://www.simplywholehearted.com/enneagramquizEnnea-what? The Beginners Guide to the Enneagram(free course + printables)https://bit.ly/Enneagram101GuideConnect with Amy:IGWebsite
Welcome to the Homeschool Mom Book Club 2026 — a year of reading chosen entirely for you. Can I ask you a question? Who is nurturing you? It’s a question most homeschool moms never get asked. We pour everything into our children — our time, our creativity, our patience, our presence — and somewhere in all that nurturing, we forget that we are humans with needs too. Who Is Nurturing You? I’ve been there. I spent years showing up for everyone else and calling what was left of me enough. Occasional Wednesday nights at Starbucks with a latte and a journal were the thing that kept me going. I thought that was enough. It wasn’t. It’s cliche, but it’s true: I was surviving, not thriving. I craved time to read and write and learn for myself — not just enabling it for the kids. And when I began reading for me, I realized I could answer some of the challenges I was noticing in my homeschool family. After nearly two decades homeschooling and six years coaching women who home educate, I’ve learned that books, and their authors, can be incredible resources for us as home educators. I’ve also learned, from my own life, and the lives of other homeschool moms, we consistently DON’T put ourselves on our to-do lists. We leave our needs, our interests, our rabbit trails last on our lists. Our social lives can be abysmal (funny that onlookers are concerned that our kids aren’t socialized, when mom is driving them hither and yon, waiting in the parking lot while they meet new friends and do cool things). That’s why the Homeschool Mom Book Club 2026 exists. And that’s why I want to invite you into the 2026 lineup — twelve books, one per month, chosen entirely for the woman doing this work every single day. A Gift for the Mama Who Keeps Coming Last If you’ve been putting yourself last in your homeschool, I made something for you. It’s called the Permission Slip — 14 daily anchor practices for the homeschool mama who keeps coming last. It’s free and it’s yours. Grab it here: Yes, I Give Myself Permission You Are the Most Important Curriculum in Your Homeschool Before we get to the books, I want to say something I come back to again and again in my coaching work with homeschool moms: You are the most important curriculum in your homeschool. Not the books you choose for your kids. Not the actual curriculum you pull out each morning. And not the co-op or the field trips or the Charlotte Mason inspired nature study either. You. The way you show up. The way you regulate. Even the curiosity you model. The grace you extend — to your kids and to yourself. That is what your children are absorbing every single day. So investing in yourself isn’t something you do when you finally have time. It’s the most important work you can do for your homeschool. And a good book — and a community of women to think about it with — is one of the most accessible ways to begin. How the Homeschool Mama Book Club 2026 Works One book a month. Twelve months. Four quarterly themes that build on each other — so the reading isn’t just a list but a year-long conversation with yourself. When you’re listening to yourself, able to hear two thoughts in a row (because you know that is hard to do with kids afoot), and willing to unpack the challenges in your homeschool mom life, you’ll move toward enjoying the charms of your homeschool family life. And here’s the part I want you to hear clearly: you don’t have to read the book to show up. I know, crazy, right? A book club where you don’t HAVE to read. Of course, you’ll be more deeply benefited if you do. But I know I wouldn’t have been able to read a book a month in my busiest homeschool years and I’m certainly not expecting it of anyone else. Come for the conversation, come for the community, and come because for one Friday morning a month someone is asking what you think and what you need. Every month in the Confident Homeschool Mom Collective we gather for four Friday sessions built around each book: Roundtable Chat — the big question the book is really asking Book Club Discussion — diving into the ideas together Writer’s Room — putting pen to paper on what surfaced for you Actionable Strategies — taking what you learned and building it into your real homeschool life https://youtu.be/WX9ALm-uODU?si=j3xVN-WWRQWkyJWm The 2026–2027 Homeschool Mama Book Club Lineup ☀️ Summer — Your Inner Life June, July, August We start by turning inward. Before we can talk about education philosophy or creative practice we need to know ourselves a little better first. June — Atlas of the Heart by Brené BrownDo you actually know what you’re feeling — or are you just reacting to it? Brown maps 87 emotions and gives you the vocabulary to finally understand what’s happening inside you — and why it matters for every relationship in your home. July — The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron & Suzanne StabileWhy do you parent and teach the way you do? This warm, witty introduction to the Enneagram helps you understand your core motivations, your stress responses, and the invisible rules you’ve been living by without even knowing it. And when you join the Confident Homeschool Mom Collective (where the Homeschool Mama Book Club lives, you’ll have access to a workshop on how the Enneagram works in your homeschool family.) August — The Life That’s Waiting by Brianna WiestWhat would your life look like if you stopped forcing it and started living it? Wiest’s newest collection of essays is for the mom who has been pushing herself toward a life that doesn’t quite fit — and is finally ready to choose differently.
Why do so many couples feel stuck in the bedroom even after decades of marriage? Christa goes straight at the real reason in this episode, the armor we put on to avoid being truly seen. Being physically intimate with your spouse asks something genuinely brave of us, to be seen not just in body but in our wanting, our desire, our reaching, and most of us have gotten very good at hiding those tender parts. She unpacks why being fully known is the very thing that lets the body open, why emotional safety and physical desire are never actually separate, and how protecting what is tender, including offering a kind but firm no when you need one, keeps intimacy safe enough to thrive. If you have ever felt unseen or guarded with the person who loves you most, this one is for you. Get the Awakening Intimacy Journal here! Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Take the E + M Quiz at www.QuizforCouples.com Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too here! Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
What You'll Hear in This EpisodeType 8s are probably the most naturally comfortable type when it comes to giving feedback. They're direct, they don't dance around it, and they genuinely mean it as investment, not attack. That directness is a real asset in a world where most feedback conversations stay so soft the message never actually lands. But the same striving to feel strong that makes Eights so decisive can also make feedback hit harder than intended and leave the other person too rattled to hear what was actually said.We walk through three things to do and three things to avoid when giving feedback as a Type 8, including a specific phrase you can try that keeps the directness intact while making sure the other person knows you're in their corner.3 Things to DO as a Type 8 When Giving FeedbackOwn your directness, it's actually a gift. Most people spend so much energy softening and qualifying that the message gets completely lost. You don't do that, and that matters. Keep it. Just pair it with enough warmth that the other person knows you're coming alongside them, not coming after them.Name the investment behind the feedback. Eights give feedback because they believe in people and want them to rise to it, but that part often goes unsaid. Say it out loud. "I'm telling you this because I think you can handle it and I want to see you succeed" changes the entire context of everything that comes after it.Stay in the room after you say it. Eights can deliver feedback and move on before the other person has had a chance to process. Leave space. The conversation isn't over when you've said your piece it's over when they've actually had a chance to respond.3 Things to AVOID as a Type 8 When Giving FeedbackLeading with intensity before trust is established. Your directness lands very differently depending on the relationship. With someone who knows you, it reads as straight-talking and genuine respect. With someone who doesn't, it can read as aggression even when you mean it as a compliment. Read the relationship before you read the feedback.Confusing bluntness with completeness. Saying the hard thing clearly is the beginning of a feedback conversation, not the whole thing. Make sure you're also saying what good looks like going forward, not just what missed the mark. The other person needs both.Shutting down when they push back. Eights can read defensiveness or emotion as weakness or resistance and disengage. But sometimes the pushback is just processing. Stay curious instead of closing off. The conversation that happens after the initial reaction is often the most important one.A Phrase to Try:"I'm going to be straight with you because I respect you and because I think you can actually do something with this."This works well for Eights because it's honest, it's direct, and it does something the Eight's natural style sometimes skips: it signals that what's coming is meant to help, not challenge. It also sets a tone that makes the other person more likely to actually hear what follows rather than brace for impact.After listening:If this resonated, share it with a Type 7 on your team or the manager who leads one. Want type-specific prompts for feedback conversations across all nine types? The Manager's Prompt Pack has you covered. Grab it at enneagrammba.com/resources.Interested in bringing this kind of practical Enneagram insight to your whole team? We'd love to talk about a workshop or retreat. Reach out at enneagrammba.com.Have a request for a future episode? Drop a text here!Have a request for a future episode? Drop a text here!
After nine seasons of Typology, Anthony and I thought we should revisit some of the basics. This is the first episode of a five-part series we're calling Enneagram Essentials. Think of today as the front door — we cover the ground every listener needs, from how to find your type to how the Enneagram works in relationships, in faith, and in seasons of genuine suffering. Then, in Episodes 2 through 5, we go deeper into the concepts that most Enneagram teaching glosses over: Basic Fears and Desires, Instincts, Subtypes, and Virtues. The four things that, in my experience, change everything once you actually understand them. Whether you found the Enneagram last week or you've been sitting with it for years, there's something in today's conversation for you.
Who are you when you strip away your conditioning, your labels, and your past?Most of us mistake our personalities for our true identity, completely unaware that we are living out scripts written by trauma, survival mechanics, and societal expectations. In this mind-expanding episode of Mindset Mastery Moments, Dr. Alisa Whyte sits down with cognitive scientist and healing expert Dr. Sharon Niv to map out the territory of human consciousness. Dr. Niv bridges the gap between cognitive science, spirituality, and modern psychedelic medicine, explaining how these modalities dismantle our deepest limiting beliefs. If you've felt a subtle resistance to changing your life—even when you know exactly what to do—this conversation will reveal the internal conflict holding you back.What We DiscussThis conversation is a tactical guide for anyone looking to transcend mental programming and unlock authentic self-realization:The Psychedelic Catalyst: The precise role of plant medicine and low-dose psycholytic treatments in healing trauma and safely bypassing the ego.The Enneagram and Personality: Deconstructing conditioning to use your personality type as a liberating map, rather than an internal prison.The Observer State: How cognitive science views human consciousness and the power of tapping into the inner witness.The Architecture of Resistance: The biological and neurological reasons why the mind fights personal growth, and exactly how to overcome it.Uncovering Limiting Beliefs: Practical, actionable frameworks to identify and dissolve the invisible barriers to your evolution.The Future of Joyous: Dr. Niv shares updates on modern technology and access to scalable, affordable mental health transformation.Free Resources & Professional TrainingExpand your clinical toolkit or accelerate your personal healing journey with these specialized, evidence-based programs:Therapist Collaboration Program: Elevate your practice, access resources, and align with a network of forward-thinking clinicians by Joining the Joyous Community.Free Certificate Training (11.5 CEs): Build a foundational understanding of microdose integration with the Microdose Ketamine Training for Therapists.Connect with Dr. Sharon Niv & The Joyous TeamOfficial Website: Joyous TeamLinkedIn: Connect with Sharon NivInstagram: @joyous.teamYouTube: Joyous Team ChannelFacebook: Joyous Team Community"Your personality isn't a fixed reality; it's a strategy you learned to survive. True evolution begins when the observer steps forward and takes the wheel."Send us Fan MailReady to turn your message into a profitable speaking career? Join Dr. Karim Ellis for a FREE live masterclass and discover the proven strategies to get booked, increase your influence, and build a speaking business that creates lasting impact and income. Reserve your seat today: https://thegpsspeakersacademy.com/freeclassSupport the show