The I Can't Read Podcast

In the final installment of our Hades x Persephone retelling, Neon Gods, our couple gets closer and closer - and so does the deadline on their deal. Not all are happy with the arangement they've made though, and The 13 are starting to interfere...

With Persephone fully under the control and stewardship of the lord of the undercity, Hades, the pair finally have some time to enjoy each others'... company. At least they're trying to, if the Gods would stop intervening! In the second part of Katee Robert's mythical retelling, our protagonists share the joys of contraception, Zoom calls, and a nice pair of men's slacks.

The Hades and Persephone myth is reimagined in Katee Robert's Neon Gods and Wheels and Maddie are here to sup on some pomegranates and be captured against their will. In our first episode, Persephone finds out one of the gods of Olympus has plans for her, and she isn't too thrilled to hear them...

In the conclusion of our readthrough of raucous rodeo romance, Long Hard Ride by Lorelei James our protagonist finds herself with a difficult choice. She's butted heads with her badboy lover after he decided he wasn't happy 'sharing' after all. When the rodeo circuit ends and her planned time with the boys is up, what reason does she have to stay?

Channing Kinkaid finds out that not all cowboy foursomes are quite what they're cracked up to be in the second episode of our readthrough of Lorelei James' smutty western romance, Long Hard Ride. Colby, the bad boy of the rodeo circuit, is starting to live up to his epithet as things get a little less friendly on tour. And Channing walks in on something she CERTAINLY didn't expect to find...

Cowboy time is FINALLY upon us as Wheels dusts off his Arthur Morgan impression for Lorelei James' Long Hard Ride. After a first place winning display at the local wet t-shirt competition, our protagonist attracts the attention of the rodeo circuit's bad boy. But he's not alone...

In the thrilling conclusion of Vera Valentine's Unhinged, a smutty romance novel about a woman and her sentient door, we've got it all. Sex, guns, doms and subs, drama, and Home Depot. But will there be a happy ending for our hard as wood couple? Or will Randal the building Superintendent bring misery to their door... get it?

The besties have finally returned from their stressful hibernation with the greatest story ever told... No not that one. The one where a sentient door shacks up with the woman who owns the house he's built into. Obviously! Vera Valentine's Unhinged is exactly what it says on the book cover and Maddie and Wheels have a whole host of laughs ahead of them...

In the dramatic conclusion of our Vampire x Werewolf paranormal romance, Bride we finally get to the good stuff. Misery and her new werewolf husband finally want to do the deed after she falls head over heels for her new partner. But will the biology of a werewolf's member be too difficult for her virgin body to handle? And will she survive the onslaught of attacks upon her from mysterious forces? ALSO... WHAT IS A KNOT?

Misery the Vampire returns in her covert operation to uncover the truth of her best friend's mysterious disappearance. She's followed the bread crumbs and some initials have lead her to her next lead... the little sister of her new werewolf husband. Uh oh! How will Misery find her way out of this one? And what does this little girl have to do with the conspiracy she means to unravel?

The Omegaverse makes its first appearance on the I Can't Read Podcast as we read Ali Hazelwood's Bride. From the author of Love Hypothesis, Bride sees our protagonist (Misery the Vampire) forced into an arranged marriage with the Alpha of a rival nation of Werewolves. How will she adapt to the life of a were's mate? And can the opportunity to snoop in enemy territory help her find her missing friend?

BESITES! We reached 10K plays!!! And to celebrate we're treating you to an iconic piece of literature, the Hogwarts fanfic featuring Ebony Darkness the vampire, her bf Draco and mysterious rando Harry Potter or someone. Join us for our VERY FIRST reading of this classic fanfic. Yes we are blown away.

On this week's episode of the spicy bookstravaganza that is I Can't Read, we finally enter the Tingleverse. Cringey booktok boyfriends step aside, it's time for some true artistic literature. A science grad research assistant finds himself in a peculiar situation at work when his genetics are used in cloning experiments. Not all them mind you. Just the ones from his brains, and his butt...

Finally, the dramatic conclusion to the viral TikTok sensation that is Fourth Wing is upon us. As a wise, old prophet once said, "If our dragons are shagging then why shouldn't we?"Just what is happening with our mysterious love interest and these attempts on Violet's life? Will our protagonists finally succumb to the raw passion inside of them? And as a wise, old prophet once said, "If our dragons are shagging then why shouldn't we?"

The besties return to the world of dragon riders and shadow powers in part two of our read through of Fourth Wing. Violet must duel with Xander, and this time she won't have the power of subtle poison to give her the upper hand. Not to mention the fact that she'll need watch her back for traitorous comrades, enormous dragons, and perhaps even a more sneaky attempt on her life... *note: there's some slight static on this recording which we've tried to clean up as best we can but one of the mics had a slightly loose connection so sorry for the occasional buzz!*

Would you believe it, Fourth Wing (an absolutely storming success on booktok and huge best seller romantasy) contains some absolutely choice cringe for our intrepid non reader Wheels. Some very clunky exposition guides us through the harsh world of dragon riders as our protagonist is forced into the life of a soldier. But when she finally meets her squad leader, she realises that war with the gryphon riders and a brutal training regime might not be the only danger she'll have to face... *note: there's some slight static on this recording which we've tried to clean up as best we can but one of the mics had a slightly loose connection so sorry for the occasional buzz!*

The thrilling conclusion of the international romance is here! Part 3 of our Red White & Royal Blue read along and things are starting to fall apart... Not only has the prince and FSOTUS's romance fallen into an eerie silence, there may be a leak of the time they've spent together to the press! Will they make it through this tumultuous period? Find out on the I Can't Read Podcast!

What's this? Could the US President's son and one of the royal princes of England be secretly into each other? Surely they wouldn't... KISS? Let's hope no one at the New Year's Eve party saw, and let's doubly hope no one sees what the boys get up to next in Red White and Royal Blue!

It's time to build some international relations between our two great nations by exchanging the national twinks in Red White & Royal Blue! One of the United Kingdom's princes is forced to kiss and make up with the son of the US president after a very public mishap at a royal wedding. But could there be more between them than just a petty rivalry?

With much anticipation we give unto you the finale of both our read through of A Curse for True Love and also of the series itself! What will become of our protagonists? Will Wheels stop finding them absolutely insufferable? And just how many magical trees are there in this place???

With a trip to Philadelphia looming, Maddie and Wheels record the second episode of their A Curse for True Love readthrough! Things are getting a heck of a lot more serious for our protags as silly well pushes turn into full on assassination attempts...

Maddie has been absolutely chomping at the bit to talk about the third and final book in the bestselling trilogy by Stephanie Garber, A Curse for True Love. There's a hell of a lot to catch up on for Wheels who knows absolutely nothing about the previous two books, but is it worth it for the handsome and mysterious man that calls himself Archer?  ...eeeeeeeerm

The third and final chapter of the smuttiest we've ever read is finally hear and somehow it gets EVEN WORSE. After a four hour drive up to Nottingham the besties are completely delirious in a hotel room and the completely unhinged left turn this book takes is not helping matters in the slightest...

We're back with our monster shagging witch Rose as she finally gets her hands (and other body parts) on Gideon's tentacle appendages. And if you didn't think that was raunchy enough, we're about to drop ourselves into some incredibly specific fetishes. Including one that Maddie and Wheels are maybe not best placed to talk about...

Happy Halloween besties! And what better way to celebrate than with our first EVER monster romance in Lilian Lark's, Stalked by the Kraken. In part one we meet our two protagonists. Rose is a love witch whose speciality is matching up potential partners (or lovers), but after a failed match up in her recent history, her confidence in her own abilities working at her family owned magical brothel is low. Good thing she's just met a tall dark and handsome stranger with a mysterious and ancient form hiding behind his human facade...

The third and final episode of our Icebreaker read through gets WET and WILD as recurring problem with lakes and some truly rushed and rambunctious plotlines see us home to a dramatic conclusion! Whatever you do, don't turn this one off before the end. It gets musical.

The bestie are here once again for part 2 of our read through of raunchy, rink-based romance, Icebreaker. Our protagonists are thoroughly in the deep end of their steamy affair, but how will they cope when real emotions start to creep their way into the relationship?  Not to mention that there's some trouble brewing in the background of this simple story. Trouble that all starts with arm in a sling, and a cheerleader costume...

The I Can't Read Podcast is back with a brand new book as Maddie and Wheels delve into the weird world of varsity sports in modern day, sport/student romance, Icebreaker. It's so raunchy that hockey players the world over have had to ask book girlies to calm the hell down, and our intrepid hosts are about to find out the answer to, 'Just how many sex scenes can one book have?'

The third and final episode of our Twilight read through is here and our brave presenters are past the point of no return. Will they able to stomach another hour of the most dry and stilted dialogue this side of Forks, Washington? Edward's secret is out, now it's time for a little catch up with the family and to, of course, PLAY BALL!

In part 2 of our read through of iconic vampire romance fiction for tweens, Twilight, we finally witness the revelation of Edward's dark secret. We learn of his monstrous side and finally see it fully in action as he... acts like a dog in heat? Odd. Witness Wheels and Maddie struggle through one of the most poorly written books they've ever encountered as we read part two of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight!

It was only a matter of time... The I Can't Read Podcast returns with the world's most famous vampire romance book and probably the only one we're ever read written by a Mormon, it's Twilight! Stephanie Meyer's seminal tween fever dream hits the podcast and Wheels and Maddie certainly have their work cut out for them.

We're back for the third and final instalment of The Love Hypothesis. Olive is in love, but had lied to Adam and things have cooled off. What can possibly happen next? WELLLLLL it's about to get spicy in the very best way besties. A conference of that Olive and Adam both have to attend ends up bringing true feelings to the surface as we reach the final part of the book.  If you thought Chapter 55 in A Court of Mist and Fury was a lot, get ready for things to get even spicier, all in the name of science. 

Schools back baby, and Adam and Olive are starting to get ✨ closer ✨ because bestie Anh will not stop pushing them together - seriously what is she up to? We've got more wild scenarios to enjoy, but how long can they keep this whole charade up? Join us for part 2 as their feelings are tested in more ways then one

We're dipping into a modern setting for the first time on the podcast after so long with the fae. Enrol with us in The Love Hypothesis - a Reylo fanfic au which sees the Star Wars cast transported to Stanford University and this time Kylo isn't such a whiny baby. (Sorry everyone). So get ready to meet the cast, get into some questionable situations, and EVEN have a kiss. I know, already, they really move quick. Is this the book the convinces Maddie Adam Driver is hot? What voice will Wheels do? Listen now to find out!

The final episode of our readthrough of a Court of Mist and Fury is here and that means it's time for THE SCENE. The infamous Chapter 55. The moment you've all been waiting for. After a hearty helping of good soup, what on earth (or Prythian?) are Feyre and Rhysand getting up to...

In what is easily the most dramatic, and horny, episode of the I Can't Read Podcast so far, Wheels is finally exposed to one of Maddie's favourite ever scenes from the ACOTAR series that involves Rhysand, a chair, and Kier Starmer. Or something like that anyway. Not only that, but drama interrupts the podcast as, on the build up to an incredibly steamy scene, Wheels gets a phone call from someone he was NOT expecting...

We're on BOOK TWO! Feyre returns to life in Prythian and life with Tamlin, she's engaged to be married and Rhysand is nowhere to be seen. What happens next? Well, let's get to the wedding day! In this episode Wheels is vindicated on his hatred for Tamlin, Maddie can finally prove Rhys isn't a discord mod - or at least try - and we get stuck in to maybe the best book of the series.

The dramatic conclusion of Sarah J. Maas's romantasy classic, and first novel in the series, A Court of Thorns and Roses! Maddie and Wheels follow Feyre through the horrible trials of evil queen Amarantha as our protagonist desperately fights to break an ancient curse, and save her own life. Will she see the light of day again? Or will the human lost in the fairy world be trapped under the mountain forever...

In part two of our read through of A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas, Wheels is introduced to some fairy culture, Feyre gets into trouble, and we finally meet Maddie's favourite character - the dark and brooding Rhysand... Will Tamlin's faithful and elegant nature keep Feyre in his good graces? Or will this new, beautiful fairy and his roguish ways have her straying her eyes? It's Fire Night, and we're about to find out!

With the inaugural episode of the I Can't Read Podcast, Maddie and Wheels delve into the first book of the world's favourite romantasy retelling of Beauty in the Beast, A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas. Our protagonist Feyre finds herself in a bind after mistakenly killing one of the Fey, ancient fairyfolk divided by a wall from the human realms after a brutal war. In recompense for her crimes, Feyre is swept away to the fairy realm of Prythian where a steamy romance begins with the high lord of the Spring Court...