Don't talk through the movies? We do.
Once upon a time in Austin, Texas... Robert Rodriguez did something extraordinary. He gave a few scrappy young upstart filmmakers the chance to do what he did years ago... $7,000. No crew. Make a movie... Punchline, ya boy crushed that sh*t like a BAWSE! (wunh!) Today we tell that story. Don't worry, like every great MONDAY, it's mercifully short. @noiamhalsey @kenneth.l.mcglothin_ @alejandromontoyamarin @lenwords --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
Another superhero movie for all you people who just can't get enough of this shit. Speaking for myself, they could have kept this one. So we got into more important conversations on this episode. Including Vin Deisel's origin story, ranking Outkast albums and another round of "How many handsome white actors can Leonard name"? Survey says? Not many. @ilmperez @alejandromontoyamarin @lenwords --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
"Just shake that aaaaassss, bitch, and let me see what you got." - Splack Pack "To the windooowwww... to the wall. Till the sweat drops down my balls." - Ying Yang Twins "And I need to be redeemed by the one I've sinned against, because he's all I ever knew of love..." Wait, is that... Fiona Apple?? What the hell kinda strip club is this? "Welcome to Laredo." - Alejandro Montoya Marin @ilmperez @alejandromontoyamarin @lenwords --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
Okay, a couple caveats... We aren't mothers. Sadly, we weren't blessed to be born with vaginas. There may be some nuance to this film that we're missing. That said... these are some bad mother-- (Shut yo mouth!) I'm talking about class. And these characters have NONE. Can you dig it? @ilmperez @alejandromontoyamarin @lenwords --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
Mister Police: You could have saved your money. I gave you all the clues... Mister Snowman: We know the RT score was bad but-- Michael Fassbender, bro! He can't make a bad movie! Or at least... he couldn't. dun-Dun-DUNNNN!!!! @ilmperez @alejandromontoyamarin @lenwords --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
So, apparently, this isn't starring an actual monkey... it's a female gymnast. Winston from the Ghostbusters is here, even if his accent comes and goes. Maybe that's why we imagine monkeys with lazers. It's really hard to survive in the CONGO. @ilmperez @mateo_pagina @alejandromontoyamarin @lenwords --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
Alligator or crocodile? When you buying shoes in Detroit, you need to know. When you're trapped under a house during a tropical storm? Reeeaally doesn't make a difference. @alejandromontoyamarin @rocketvondoom @ilmperez @lenwords --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
This year you spent days (maybe even a week, total) eating better after you saw that Netflix documentary. Now you're looking for some vegan-friendly-yet-hot-buttered-comfort-sides for this Thanksgiving. The recipe is simple: 40% Vampires. 40% Kate Mara. 20% How long have we been watching this? Sure, that's only three ingredients. But we call this dish... the FANTASTIC FOUR. @ilmperez @mateo_pagina @alejandromontoyamarin @lenwords --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
A forgotten gem of New Mexican film cannon, this piece is exceptional for-- Juuuust kidding. This ain't art. Well, maybe some ass can be art. And if you agree, you're in for a treat! This is sex, violence, a little more sex, and Daniel Baldwin in his signature role as a human torch. But not like the one from Fantastic Four... waaaay better. Danny was on his m.e.t.h.o.d. man, I could feel that shit. @ilmperez @mateo_pagina @alejandromontoyamarin @lenwords --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
CRAZY is keeping a flame for your ex who cheated on you. C'mon fam. STUPID is letting your babysitter's crush on you ferment. Really dude? LOVE is not what kept Marissa Tomei working your junk for 45 minutes. Sorry, it's not. Truthfully, we don't know what it was. All we know, it ends in anger and boiling hatred. Ah, l'amour! C'est tragique, n'est pas? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
You need some motivation? A slight adjustment to your attitude? No? Oh, what, you don't like the sound of that? Don't worry, I know just who to call. You're in treble now... --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
EXT. HAWAIIAN RESORT - MOMENTS AFTER DUSK Moonlight shimmers on still-water horizon. LADIES at the bar giggle. Something one of them whispered about the CUTE BARTENDER. But they all stop laughing when they notice HIM enter. Those eyes. Those arms. Those... scales? He approaches. "Evening ladies, I'm Jason Mimosa. You might recognize me as AQUAMAN..." CUT TO: INT. BEIJING CONFERENCE ROOM - MIDDAY The CHINESE BUSINESSMAN closes his presentation to the STOCKHOLDERS. Two WHITE GUYS banned from Hollywood, smiling by his side. (in Mandarin) "$500Ms in pre-sales, 250 opening weekend. A Billi in a year, cake. People LOVE this shit!" --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
Let's talk about single mothers... hahaha jk But dis bish rite chea? She CRAY-cray. Aaaannnd she's kinda hot. Hmm. Then I saw this movie, totally changed my outlook on dating, helping strangers, everything. The moral is: If you hear a woman crying out in pain, just run for your life... it might be LA LLRONA!!! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
As you might have heard in the preview clip, we give Ian fashion advice. But will it help? Will anything? We also discuss the mating tendencies of the blue whale, pissing on explosions and the dastardly brilliance of one Briton we most humbly toast today hear-ye hear-hear!-- Sir Michael Caine. Face it: you're sleep if you ain't up on the first woke action movie. Perhaps, just perhaps, Steven Segal's crown jewel... ON DEADLY GROUND. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
She was pretty basic at first. A nerd, totally forgettable. Then, you know, a hot guy noticed her. Now she's got self esteem. Or, wait, I think maybe she had it all along... Ehh, I don't know. Either way, check her out now. She's sexy, she's confident, SHE'S ALL THAT! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
Meagan Good is looking GREAT. Michael Ealy's hazel gaze is still hypnotizing. But Dennis Quaid is on some MAGA ish. That ain't my bag. He didn't say that, explicitly, no... but I can read between the lines. When you buy that perfect house in that perfect neighborhood to live your perfect life, watch out for THE INTRUDERs. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
So Patrick Swayze, Kelly Lynch and Sam Elliot walk into a bar. Bartender goes, "What are you having?" Gatdamn 'murrica says, "Gimme a shot of whoop-ass, neat!" A martial-arts expert comes to town to clean up a sleazy bar called the Double-Deuce. You best believe it's gonna be a shit show.... Welcome to the ROADHOUSE. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
Led by Fred Durst, but no. It's not Limp Bizkit. Featuring John Travolta, but sorry, it's not Saturday Night Fever. Or The Fan, The Score, Taxi Driver, Face Off. None of that. It's THE FANATIC. And... Ugh I don't know. Maybe they did it for the nookie... God, let's hope it was worth it. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
You're young, you like to drink. You and your friends like to get high. What better place to enjoy the good times than the basement dungeon of the scrub your parents used to abuse socially and sexually? So what are you doing after school? Me? I'm gonna go hang out with MA. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
He tackles the border. He crushes the wall. And he hits two honeys at a time... many times. The immortal impresario of BAD ASS, it's Uncle Clint in THE MULE. ....Now get the hell off my lawn you *$%( #&$*#$&^*#!!!!! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
I'm reloaded! Okay? You m*therf*ckers think you big time? You gonna DIE big time! Just in case you're too young to remember, before Brooklyn's Finest...we did it Carlito's Way. Here come the pain! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
Gorbachev. Putin. Drago. Raegan. Trump. Balboa. RIP to the big homie Creed. That's life. This is Living. In. A. Mer. I. Ca. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
Who's that good-looking guy? That's Chris Pine. *applause* And that other good-looking guy? That's Tom Hardy. *slightly-louder applause* Wait, what about that super-hot spunky successful single woman who's stuck in the middle? Oh, her? That's Reese Witherspoon. *ding* This is her favorite movie. Not Reese's, necessarily. But your girlfriend's for sure. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
What's a DC comic book movie that I loved? Okay, that's not fair. The other guys are pretty marvelous at movie-making. But still, what's the best part about life on planet Earth? Watching the Justice League and laughing our asses off. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
Uncle Clint. A President worth protecting. John Malkovich. Out for blood. Do you remember when you were... In The Line Of Fire? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message
Alejandro's never seen the movies. Never read the books. Charee dragged him to the amusement park. Twice. Now it's time to submit. Time to be baptized in the mythical aether of... Harry Potter. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/watching-this/message