Learning to Mum

Motherhood is quite literally the biggest rollercoaster in the world. The best and hardest of times. Here's a bit of mush as a reminder why we do it

Being a working mum feels like continuous compromise. Just when you think you've got it right, something shifts and you're left questioning (yet again) the balance (or lack of). Will it ever be perfect? I guess not. I guess it's a constant learning curve. I guess it's in the title of the podcast right, it's learning to mum…20 months in!

That is the question…well, not really for us. Forever sharing our reality. It's a no from us, but let me share why.

Ophelia turned 18 months on the 10th Feb so this is a little delayed but hopefully you get the gig. Forever juggling

I've spoken about mum guilt before and I raise it again in episode one of series three. Amongst other topics such as how the heck your parenting solidly over the Christmas holidays

As women, we don't operate in 24 hour cycles. Throughout the month our hormone levels rise and fall and whilst this is nothing but normal, it can be hard to navigate while parenting. This episode acknowledges how tricky it can be.

Early motherhood felt like a test. It was one I thought I had failed. I look back now and realise it was not a test, it was a period of adjustment to this brand new life. New life I had brought into the world and the inevitable new life it created for me. I look back now and want to say with love, you did the best you could and that was enough. To anyone who needs to hear this, this is for you.

Learning to mum for me has been about compromise. Constant adjustment to new routines. Relinquishing control. Leaning into the process of motherhood and all its beauty and challenge. I have however, lusted over more time to myself as the weeks and months have passed and encouraging Ophelia to play independently has always been part of that makeup. In this episode I'm sharing some of my thoughts on this. Independence is one of the skills I am personally so proud to have in abundance, if I can help Ophelia have this by teaching her from a young age that time yourself is not only enjoyable but necessary and vital then I'm all for it. Enjoy my thoughts!

In this episode I share how I believe time has allowed me to mature into motherhood. As Ophelia grows, so too does my confidence and, honestly, my passion to parent. The joy in seeing her grow, being able to do more and more with her and fundamentally, have a little pal has been EVERYTHING. I can't wait to see what the future brings. Well I can, time - slow down!

Ophelia turns one next week, so a 12 month update felt timely. Also, taking time to find me again. Enjoy!

A long, overdue update on where we're at. Ophelia is now 10 months, swiftly heading to 11 and changes have been taking place. In this episode I touch on sleep, forming opinions and the joys developmental changes can bring. Enjoy!

This week I speak to Bek Homer who is mum to Seth. Bek shares her experience of PND with a view to raise awareness and shine light on the reality of maternal mental health. Whilst this episode might not be for everyone, it's a topic that impacts so many - by speaking more openly about such things, we can continue to break down the barriers which in turn encourage more people to open up. Bek highlights that the only way she was able to move forward was to talk about her reality. In this episode she's sharing that with you and I'm so grateful for her honesty and openness. ***trigger topic*** Websites reference: PANDAs

This week has not gone to plan - personally as opposed to anything “mum specific”. I was going to hit pause on recording but actually, figured it was a good opportunity to share reality. Life happens, we can only control how we respond to it, not necessarily the stumbling blocks sent to try us!

This week it's all things PND. After suffering from a prolonged period of baby blues I went on to study a diploma in PND. I'm sharing some on the learnings so you too, can be more aware. Let's make it ok to not be ok.

A little trailer as to what you can expect from episode 1 of series two as well as an update from me. Enjoy and speak to you all very soon

I wanted to drop a bonus epi in between series to give you an update and talk about the topic of mum guilt - something that I think plagues many of us. This will be a continued area of discussion but I wanted to share where I'm currently at and some considerations when it comes to managing your relationship aside being a mum. See you in a few weeks for series 2

It didn't feel right to close series one without touching on my reality of learning to mum through a pandemic. I touch on pregnancy, birth and maternity with a view to share some thoughts and considerations on what I would have done if we'd have been in “normal” times. My aim with this is to give others some reflection points and find what's right for them. Thank you for listening to series one and I will see you in series two in due course

Becoming a mum threw into question my identity - whilst being “just a mum” (if there can ever be such a thing) is enough for so many people, for me, regaining back some aspects of my former-self was vital. Going back to work, having time to myself, learning new skills all added to me being the best mum I could be. The statement is true - happy mum, happy baby - whatever that looks like for you, do it!

This week I'm sharing our current routine with you. Ophelia is currently heading to the 7 month mark and this has been our routine from around 6 months. It covers sleep and weaning in an attempt to share a view of how it all links together. I always think it's interesting to hear what other mums are doing, gives you opportunity to consider whether similar practices would work for you. Enjoy!

“I truly believe I'd be a great mum if she would just let me sleep” - a statement that often plagued my thoughts in those early weeks and months. Sleep is so precious and impacts so many other aspects of life. Equally, it's one of the biggest adjustments new parents go through when their new bundle arrives. I feel so passionately about the topic of sleep and so strongly about sharing the reality of what the forth trimester can bring so we can normalise, relieve some pressure and know that good habits can be instilled as time goes on even if it feels impossible in the early days of motherhood.

Everything changes after birth - your body, your identity, you hormones - the lot! All too often we spend time congratulating mums on their new baby and the assumed happiness and excitement we perceive to be paired with it, but is that the reality for all new mums? It wasn't for me, I went through a process of physical and mental recovery that I hadn't anticipated, I wish I'd known more so I could prepare a little better for the reality of postpartum. I hope that by sharing these things, I can give others an insight to the reality, reassure them it's normal and raise awareness that things improve over time no matter how different everything feels in those early days, it's all about learning to mum.

For me, the forth trimester pushed me more than I've ever been pushed in my life. The support bubble of pregnancy seemed to lift and I was left seemingly in the wilderness unable to navigate my surroundings. I lost who I was at times and felt uncertain of my way out, only now looking back can I reflect on why I felt as I did, with the want and desire to support other mums going through the same. The forth trimester has been the catalyst for me starting this, and as such, will be given lots of space on the podcast. I've made the decision to break it down into segments, starting with feeding. I tried it all, breastfeeding, combination and through to full formula - in this episode I share my journey. I didn't realise how much of an impact it was having on my mental health and looking back, I only wish I'd recognised earlier how it was making me feel. The saying is true - happy mum, happy baby - find your rhythm and take confidence in what feels right for you. I hope by sharing my experience I can support other mums to do what's best for them and their baby.

Baby blues impacts eight in 10 new mums, this wasn't something I was aware of on the arrival of my little girl which made processing what I was experiencing far more daunting than it perhaps needed to be. In this weeks episode I walk through my first 10 days of motherhood sharing my experiences of baby blues in the hope I can reassure any other mums out there who may go through this, that they're not alone.

This weeks episode is focused on my birth story. I refer to my daughters birth as a hybrid between a positive birth story and a not so positive birth story, why?! Because for me I went sooooo far with filling myself with positivity, that when it came to my birth, I felt a bit of a failure. I didn't feel the euphoria that so many talk about, but in reality, I'm not sure I was ever going to be that person so I wish I'd gone in with more balance. I believe my story shares openly how it certainly doesn't need to be “one born every minute” style, but equally, doesn't need to be a text book hypnobirthing. Each story and experience is so different, this is mine - good, bad and perineal tear ugly! Enjoy!

In this episode a share my pregnancy journey - from finding out I was pregnant, right through to my waters breaking. I speak honestly about making the decision to start trying for a baby and then emotions that came with the success of the positive pregnancy test. I talk through my scans and some of the “complications” I had along the way to help map out for others what common challenges pregnant mamas face. I talk sex, contraception and the good old stretch and sweep, so maybe pop your headphones in for this one! Timings: Falling pregnant - 10:20, First Trimester - 20:35, Second Trimester - 24:25, Third Trimester - 38 minutes. Products mentioned: Period Power by Maisie Hill. Pregnancy pillow - Pharmedoc full body, C shape.

In this episode I welcome you to the Learning to Mum podcast. I share why I decided to dive into something like this, who I am and what I intend to share within this series and moving forward.