My Emotional Armor

A lifetime growing up with a covert narcissistic parent has severed your mind body connection, making it  impossible to "just breathe and calm down" when interacting with them. It can be difficult to get your point across, or even take a break from the conversation.  In this episode, learn how to bring your body back online so that you can to a point where you can decide clearly how you'd like to proceed with your CNP. Resources: What to do if a narcissist threatens to kill themselves - https://youtu.be/SB-hzpn6nMM?si=p70eFc9HbKEbh553 Black Yogi Nico Marie channel - https://www.youtube.com/@YogaWithNico

A lot of people wonder if covert narcissists, or narcissists in general, feel remorse. The answer may shock you, which is yes, they actually do feel remorse. However, the experience it differently than other non-narcissistic people do. We explore the difference and how to deal in this episode. Resources mentioned: "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft

In this episode, I discuss how you not only learned to normalize self-blame due to covert narcissistic parenting, but how it also may be showing up in how you relate to others. I go over a 2-step process of how to interrupt this pattern. Resources mentioned: Lisa Romano - How to Feel Your Emotions Again in a Healthy Way https://youtu.be/6TNxy-IwR7k

Today I address a listener question about triangulation and family roles within the covert narcissistic family dynamic. I discuss the Karpman Drama Triangle, what to watch for, and how to get out of it. Tamara Hill - How to Deal with Triangulation: Practical Tips https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLiHiHrriJk Tamara Hill - What is Triangulation in Toxic Parenting? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5AlmonDF1A&t=566s

In previous episodes I’ve talked about finding a support system to help cope with your CNP. Today's episode talks about how to do this effectively and why this doesn’t always work out well. In fact if you go seeking support in the wrong places, it can lead to even more feelings of invalidation. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Dr. Ramani Vital Mind Psychology Lisa Romano - Breakthrough Life Coach

When you start to shine a light on your past, you see all the things that went wrong. This results in feelings of frustration, disappointment, and hurt which are all base emotions that lead to anger. When you grieve the childhood you should’ve had, it’s natural to experience intense anger through this process. This episode covers the causes of that anger and some tips for dealing with it. Flying Monkey by Dr. Ramani: https://youtu.be/lDclCIFQML8 Enabler by Dr. Ramani: https://youtu.be/JZEyLwy6Z9s Scapegoat by Dr. Ramani https://youtu.be/-vgnalJmMUk

Today's episode is dedicated to a listener, Bella. Though I can’t speak to Bella’s hardships specifically, I can speak to the strength that she and all survivors of covert narcissistic trauma possess. There are some key gifts - or superpowers - as I’m calling it in this episode that you gained from your experience.  Referenced: Dr. Ramani's Caregiving for a Narcissist - https://youtu.be/YXCZ63l47zI

Ever notice how covert narcissists seem to always be the bearers of bad news? In this episode we explore why that is and what to do about it. Referenced: Vital Minds Psychology - Why Covert Narcissists Love Your Misfortune (Understanding Schadenfreude) https://youtu.be/bJjc-gaeUqs

In part 2, I discuss the other two attachment styles - dismissive avoidant and secure - in comparison with anxious attachment within the context of covert narcissism. We also explore ways to develop self-trust by starting small and working up to a series of "wins," which results in slow but sure integration of your anxiety and past into your everyday life. Referenced: Free Mood Tracker App http://www.moodtrack.com/

In this part 1 of 2 series, I discuss why covert narcissistic parenting typically leads to an anxiously attached child and adult. We also explore this in comparison to the fearful attachment style within the context of covert narcissism. In part 2, we'll continue with the other two attachment styles (dismissive and secure), as well as tips for working through your own anxious attachment.Referenced: Referenced: The Personal Development School https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHQ4lSaKRap5HyrpitrTOhQ

In this episode, Cindy Khoo takes on a listener question: Do Covert Narcissists Hurt You on Purpose or is it Subconscious? She breaks down the important difference between harm that's inflicted on purpose vs. by accident. Also addressed are the habitual motivations of the covert narcissist and how to deal. The answer to the question is more complicated than you think and may surprise you! Mentioned in this episode: "The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist" by Debbie Mirza

The Polite Robot method is a level of interaction you may wish to have with your covert narcissistic parent. It is similar to Dr. Ramani's "Soul Distancing," but allows you to exhibit a safe level of compassion and connection with your CNP if you wish. Dr. Ramani Videos on Covert Narcissism Part 1: https://youtu.be/mNFIQ46-s-A Part 2: https://youtu.be/4euend-XfEA Part 3: https://youtu.be/5Ll2lYIY-zI

In My Emotional Armor's inaugural episode, Cindy Khoo discusses how being the child of a narcissistic parent negatively effects decision making as an adult.