Not My Type

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A podcast where we dismantle your mother's Enneagram misconceptions, one neurosis at a time.

Melea Irby and Jack Houser


    • Feb 21, 2024 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 50m AVG DURATION
    • 31 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Not My Type

    Exposed vs. Shielded - Wings on Attachment Types

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 21, 2024 25:21


    Jack and Jessica share the difference in their findings between Attachment fixes with Frustration wings and Attachment fixes with Rejection wings. 0:56 - Attachment Types have either a Frustration wing or a Rejection wing 2:34 - Introduction of Eugene 3:05 - Commonality of Attachment fixes 3:45 - Shielded types - Attachment with Rejection wings 4:32 - Exposed types - Attachment with Frustration wings 5:27 - Eye contact 6:12 - Why Frustration types are not exposed 9:32 - 3w4 appearing self-conscious 10:23 - Jessica's experience being double exposed 13:20 - Single vs. double exposure 13:40 - Social-blindness ruining eye contact 15:44 - Exposed types feeling uncomfortable 16:51 - Jack being obsessed with eye contact 20:34 - Contrasting exposed and shielded iterations of the same type Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠ to check out our site, where you can read our ⁠⁠⁠⁠data-informed type descriptions⁠⁠⁠⁠, learn about ⁠⁠⁠⁠our perspective⁠⁠⁠⁠, and most importantly, ⁠⁠⁠⁠get typed⁠⁠⁠⁠ behaviorally! Join our ⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook group⁠⁠⁠⁠ for conversations about the Enneagram from a scientific lens! We make stupid memes and educational content on ⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠, too.

    Object Relations - Heads or Tails?

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 14, 2024 37:06


    Jack and Jessica discuss a model of Object Relations manifesting on a quarter. 0:40 - Overview / review of Object Relations 3:00 - Assertive Types (3, 7, 8) and the Nurturing Object 4:09 - Compliant Types (1, 2, 6) and the Protecting Object 6:08 - Withdrawn Types (4, 5, 9) and the Belonging Object 7:53 - Hexad vs. Triangle 9:27 - Using a quarter as an "object" lesson: Frustration and Rejection as two sides of the same coin 13:53 - Attachment Types continuing connection to their Objects 15:54 - 7 and 8 having opposite affects toward the Nurturing Object 17:13 - Hexads per Center of Intelligence as inversions of each other 20:56 - Jack vocalizing his opinions 22:15 - Triangle types ending up somewhere they didn't intend to be 24:46 - Hexad types having already toppled / landed 25:37 - Attachment Types refusing to individuate 27:49 - Difference between the life journeys of triangle types and hexad types 30:36 - Jessica's real-time Frustration 33:40 - Sample of a past argument Click ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠ to check out our site, where you can read our ⁠⁠⁠data-informed type descriptions⁠⁠⁠, learn about ⁠⁠⁠our perspective⁠⁠⁠, and most importantly, ⁠⁠⁠get typed⁠⁠⁠ behaviorally! Join our ⁠⁠⁠Facebook group⁠⁠⁠ for conversations about the Enneagram from a scientific lens! We make stupid memes and educational content on ⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠, too.

    Saltburn - Enneagram Analysis

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 31, 2024 41:08


    Jack and Jessica discuss the movie Saltburn, unpacking the type structures of the characters and overall Enneagram themes throughout the film. 0:40 - How actors' types distort the intended types of the characters they play 2:06 - Overall themes of Saltburn 3:11 - Summary of the film 4:28 - Emerald Fennell (director / screenwriter) 6:25 - Oliver 9:00 - Felix 12:40 - Elspeth 16:00 - Venetia 18:20 - Sir James 18:55 - Duncan 19:45 - Farleigh 23:36 - Michael 24:50 - Pamela 27:00 - sx-blind audience's reactions to Saltburn's shocking scenes 28:35 - Mythological imagery 29:57 - Attachment types in crisis 31:25 - Emerald's 7-1 link incorporating long-game foreshadowing 32:37 - Ignorance of British aristocracy 33:45 - Elspeth being double positive 34:53 - sp-blind's world being highly external / relational 35:30 - Oliver's unbelonging 36:25 - Felix's tour of Saltburn 38:08 - sx/so's singular attention in making a new friend Click here to check out our site, where you can read our data-informed type descriptions, learn about our perspective, and most importantly, get typed behaviorally! Join our Facebook group for conversations about the Enneagram from a scientific lens! We make stupid memes and educational content on TikTok, too.

    The Instinctual Cycle - Waxing and Waning (Pt. 2)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 24, 2024 34:31


    Melea, Jack, and Jessica unpack the five remaining portions of the instinctual cycle, picking up from where they left off with sx/sp. Be sure to view the diagram of the ⁠instinctual cycle⁠ while you listen! 2:02 - Overview of the terms "waxing" and "waning" 3:04 - sp/so as a singular form maturing into a broader world 6:34 - so/sx as multiplicious procreation 9:10 - How do the waxing stackings show up behaviorally? 12:15 - sx/so as advertisement of remaining fertility 16:15 - Contrasting sx/so with sx/sp 18:37 - so/sp as the mature symbol of its kind 21:05 - sp/sx as decay / death 23:20 - Contrasting sp/sx with sp/so 24:55 - Jessica leaving traces for others in the future 27:06 - How our dominant instinct feels life/death to our psyche 28:45 - GIFs for the sexual instinct as secondary vs. dominant 30:20 - Melea measuring her energy by meaningful interactions 32:05 - Jessica thinks a lot about food Click ⁠⁠here⁠⁠ to check out our site, where you can read our ⁠⁠data-informed type descriptions⁠⁠, learn about ⁠⁠our perspective⁠⁠, and most importantly, ⁠⁠get typed⁠⁠ behaviorally! Join our ⁠⁠Facebook group⁠⁠ for conversations about the Enneagram from a scientific lens! We make stupid memes and educational content on ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠, too.

    The Instinctual Cycle - Waxing and Waning (Pt. 1)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 17, 2024 36:21


    Melea, Jack, and Jessica explore NMT's discovery of the instinctual cycle, building from David Gray's original concepts of "synflow" and "contraflow." Be sure to view the diagram of the instinctual cycle while you listen! 1:35 - Overview of the three instincts 9:30 - Wondering how the instincts relate to Maslow's hierarchy of needs 10:33 - Overview of instinctual cycle as life and death processes 13:00 - Jack failing at the self-preservation instinct 14:55 - Jessica failing at the social instinct 18:10 - David Gray's "flows" 23:09 - Why is knowing about "flow" helpful? 24:35 - Finding the sexual instinct's location in a vertical diagram 27:20 - sx/sp as conception / creation 30:32 - Self-preservation reinforcing sexual's agenda 34:35 - Renaming "synflow" as "waxing" and "contraflow" as "waning" Click ⁠here⁠ to check out our site, where you can read our ⁠data-informed type descriptions⁠, learn about ⁠our perspective⁠, and most importantly, ⁠get typed⁠ behaviorally! Join our ⁠Facebook group⁠ for conversations about the Enneagram from a scientific lens! We make stupid memes and educational content on ⁠TikTok⁠, too.

    Your Enneagram Typing Service Announcement

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 10, 2024 33:06


    Jack, Melea, and Jessica announce their long-awaited project: newly public typing services. Go visit our site to have your type identified behaviorally!

    You've Been So Blind [To the Instincts] (Pt. 3)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 5, 2022 64:43


    Melea and Jack discuss social blindness with Jessica Visher.

    You've Been So Blind [To the Instincts] (Pt. 2)

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2021 48:06


    Melea and Jack dive deeper into what sexual blindness looks and feels like, as well as why we bother pursuing to strengthen the instinct to which we are blind.

    You've Been So Blind [To the Instincts] (Pt. 1)

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 31, 2021 65:02


    The hosts are revisiting a topic with plenty more to discover: the instincts. This episode covers what it is to be dominant and over-focused in one instinctual arena and what happens when we're confronted with what we'd rather ignore.

    Hey 9, Your Alarm is Going Off

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 7, 2021 79:00


    Jack and Melea welcome two former roommates and two present 9s: Anna Mayo and Nate Hopkins. Enlightening all on the neurosis of Sloth, Nate and Anna share their blurry inner worlds (the best they can).

    It's Still Your Fault

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2021 59:19


    The hosts discuss how each neurosis perceives and places blame.

    Your Parents are Knocking Again: Object Relations 2.0

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 16, 2021 55:37


    The hosts are taking a second look at Object Relations and the way the Frustration, Rejection, and Attachment types are all orienting so differently in the world. This episode covers the problems of hyper-specificity in the hexad types (1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 8) in contrast with the overly blurred and referential problems of the triangle (3, 6, 9).

    Your Soul Child is Crying (But It's Not That Dramatic)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2021 37:18


    The hosts wander into Maitri's theory of the Soul Child! The theory explores how neurosis develops as a byproduct of not being permitted to be our growth type.

    No More Lonely Sevens with Marissa Meizz

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 23, 2021 55:26


    The hosts interview Marissa Meizz on her experience with going viral on TikTok, having bad friends, and what it means to run with new opportunities and make the best of them.

    Your Resident Gluttons

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 15, 2021 92:03


    Melea and Jack discuss all things 7 with Connor and Hannah, two 7s with plenty to say and think. Conversation ranges from optimism, excitement, commitment, to what it means to enjoy the moment.

    Harry Potter and the Enneagram (Pt. 2): 3 Who Must Not Be Named

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2021 86:21


    The hosts finish assessing the Harry Potter characters, from minor to major and everything in between. Dobby - 2:40 Kreacher - 5:15 Severus Snape - 10:41 Lavender Brown - 21:26 Minerva McGonagall - 24:14 Rubeus Hagrid - 29:34 Lucius Malfoy - 34:13 Narcissa Malfoy - 38:00 Draco Malfoy - 39:00 Fleur Delacour - 42:36 Hermione Granger - 44:04 Peter Pettigrew - 49:07 James Potter - 51:04 Sirius Black - 52:09 Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan - 55:38 Quirinus Quirrell - 58:37 Gilderoy Lockhart - 59:39 Horace Slughorn - 1:01:29 Xenophilius Lovegood - 1:04:00 Argus Filch - 1:07:27 Alastor Moody - 1:09:49 Bellatrix Lestrange - 1:13:05 Tom Riddle - 1:15:12 Albus Dumbledore - 1:19:23

    Harry Potter and the Enneagram (Pt. 1): Yer a 9, Harry

    Play Episode Listen Later May 27, 2021 83:40


    Melea and Jack discuss everyone's favorite franchise and the beloved characters that make it so special. Dudley Dursley - 3:50 Harry Potter - 8:28 Neville Longbottom - 16:50 Luna Lovegood - 21:17 Petunia Dursley - 26:40 Vernon Dursley - 34:15 Ginny Weasley - 36:34 Cornelius Fudge - 44:50 Dolores Jane Umbridge - 50:24 Sybill Trelawney - 57:36 Weasley parents 1:02:32 Ron Weasley - 1:09:01 Remus Lupin - 1:15:35 Nymphadora Tonks - 1:19:39

    There's More to Your Type: Trifix

    Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2021 49:18


    The hosts dive into a crucial yet complex topic: trifix, the combination of a dominant neurosis in each Center of Intelligence. This episode helps unpack how we learn to handle the unknown (head fix), assert our presence (body fix), and present an image to the world (heart fix).

    You've Been Deceived: The Issue of Countertype

    Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2021 49:30


    Uncovering lies: Jack and Melea share a confessional regarding their stance on and experience with Beatrice Chestnut's theory of countertype.

    You've Mistyped Yourself (Pt. 3)

    Play Episode Listen Later May 1, 2021 65:41


    Melea and Jack finish their series on mistyping, highlighting the essential qualities of each type that underlie neurotic structure. This episode helps to clarify what pieces can't be compromised for each type.

    Q&A #1

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2021 43:41


    Q&A episode discussing the origins of the Enneagram, its purpose, and how it applies broadly to culture and individuals alike.

    You've Mistyped Yourself (Pt. 2)

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 14, 2021 38:18


    A continuation to the series on mistyping, covering potential pairing confusions from 4 and 5 all the way to 8 and 9.

    You've Mistyped Yourself (Pt. 1)

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 8, 2021 56:46


    The hosts begin to describe in detail what differentiates some types from each other, covering easily mistaken similarities and the cardinal differences.

    Don't Trust Your Instincts

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 2, 2021 52:37


    Self-preservation, Social, Sexual: the instincts long misunderstood are being unpacked in a new way. Jack and Melea discuss how instinctual imbalance warps one's perspective.

    Stop Projecting Your Neurosis

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 10, 2021 26:34


    Jack and Melea discuss toxics ways of using the Enneagram and how you can avoid that. What and what not to say; what the intent of the Enneagram should be. How have you misused it?

    Relationship Problems are Your Fault

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 5, 2021 16:53


    Jack and Melea briefly unpack the three Harmonic Triads: Competency, Reactivity, and Positive Outlook, differing responses to conflictual situations. The shortcomings of each are discussed, as well as the ideal of all three being used at once.

    Your Cesspool of Neurotic Movements

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 25, 2021 42:46


    Your hosts discuss the ways the neuroses are all interconnected, and what those funky arrows mean — how each neurosis accesses two others as a way of returning to the default state.

    Your Unconscious Mommy and Daddy Issues

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 17, 2021 63:38


    Melea and Jack talk about the theory of Object Relations and how it connects to the Enneagram. The theory outlines the dominant affects of Frustration, Rejection, and Attachment as coping responses to childhood wounds.

    Your Internal Clock is Broken

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 11, 2021 43:09


    How quickly do we process reality? Jack and Melea open a conversation about stances, time orientations formed by repressed centers of intelligence.

    Stop Lying to Yourself

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 6, 2021 55:31


    Melea and Jack give a bird's-eye view of Enneagram basics: the 9 lies that form the neuroses, the vices that follow, and how wings alter our behavior.

    Not Your Mother's Enneagram

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 5, 2021 11:45


    Meet your hosts! Jack and Melea share what Not My Type is all about "at the end of the day". In this episode, the pair will discuss and define terms - neurosis, type, personality, talk about what the Enneagram is and what it's not, and hint to where the podcast is going next.

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