Almost every night, I tell my daughters a bedtime story starring Ollie the Octopus, a private eye who lives in Baltimore and is an octopus. Sometimes they're good, sometimes they meander, sometimes the plots are lifted, sometimes we fall asleep. Unscripted stories that maybe you'll like too.

Ollie has a confusing conversation with a park bench

In which the storyteller tries very hard to hold the plot together despite actively losing consciousness

Ollie foils a robbery but it's not super satisfying from a narrative standpoint

See this, this is why Ollie doesn't like early morning events.

Green is good and all, but it was still basically winter

Ollie's relaxing afternoon gets abruptly exciting

Ollie solves a mystery while riding a scooter.

The bear's intentions remain unclear.

Is it haunted? An evil drone? Kind of you to assume I remember, this one was from several days ago.

Destruction, heavy feet, intrigue, double-cross and reconciliation. This one came out a bit long.

I'm sure it was a statement about true education versus headline-seeking or some such thing

This town ain't big enough for the two of... well ok it probably is

As in animals getting turned into food magically, not via the conventional routes.

Not gonna lie, I was tired for this one and exactly what it's about is fuzzy now

We try not to smash this storytelling button too often, but it is good for a short tale on a late night.

TBH I found this one in my files just now and I don't totally remember what it's about

Ollie wakes up human and none too pleased about it

Sometimes it pays to not overthink a problem.

Being an octopus is occasionally extra useful.

Is Lolipop an genericized trademark name like Kleenex and Xerox? Anyway, they're not supposed to fly.