Stop Irking Me Off

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Stop Irking Me Off is the show where the guests are all mad about the small things in life. The things throughout the day that really get your goat, make your blood boil, and yes, irk you off. Join host Joe Kolasa as he asks about what petty things start your day off on the worst foot imaginable.

Merry Band Productions

  • Mar 27, 2020 LATEST EPISODE
  • infrequent NEW EPISODES
  • 39m AVG DURATION
  • 40 EPISODES


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Latest episodes from Stop Irking Me Off

Episode 37: Average Boomer Pirate Rabbits

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2020 70:46


If there's four things Daniel hates, it's turtles, mutants, teenagers, and ninjas; just not in that order. Joe's indignation involving ice involves interruptive ichor interwoven in imbibing ideology. In a special topic, guest Michael McNamara talks mechanical pencils. Maybe the machines really are taking over... Have a topic you want featured on the show? Check out the show on social media and let us know what irks you off. Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | YouTube

Episode 36: Joe-Fi Beats To Not Do Drugs To

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 13, 2020 53:09


Daniel agrees that teens shouldn't be under the influence, but does he really have to hear it form Hoobastank?  Joe laments luxurious lo-fi lullabies languished by lurid lines.  In a special guest topic, the hosts discuss just what can be done in a particularly nipply fashion no-no.   Have a topic you want featured on the show? Check out the show on social media and let us know what irks you off. Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | YouTube

Episode 35: Hummus Blumhouse Gets Out

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 16, 2020 52:36


Daniel finds it increasingly difficult to kick off his Sunday shoes while overanalyzing the 80's. Joe's meticulous mulling of mythology mayhaps missed major mistakes made by movies. Also, we talk about peanuts. Sorry. Have a topic you want featured on the show? Check out the show on social media and let us know what irks you off. Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | YouTube

Episode 34: Holiday Droppings

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 24, 2020 37:55


Daniel just can't get enough of anthems for other holidays.  Seriously.  He can't get them and needs your help, America.  Joe pouts prominently per poop picture that postulates preeminent prose.   Have a topic you want featured on the show? Check out the show on social media and let us know what irks you off. Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | YouTube

Episode 33: A Belated Irkmas Special

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2019 52:31


We cozy up by the fire for our first holiday special!  We fail to answer such questions as: What's the fine print in the Santa Clause?  Dis the Grinch attend Catholic school?  Will Anna Kendrick's holly jolly hell flick be an instant classic?   Have a topic you want featured on the show? Check out the show on social media and let us know what irks you off. Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | YouTube

Episode 32: Cap’n Cold-Stache and the Church of Clean

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2019 54:01


Boats. Friend? Foe? Vessels of the damned? Daniel can’t seem to tell. Joe intensely insists incense makes him as incensed as incest. We also construct the perfect way to hold a conversation with uninterested singles in your age group and found a religion to keep you fresh. Have a topic you want featured on the show? Check out the show on social media and let us know what irks you off. Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | YouTube

Episode 31: Flip Me A JPEG, Garçon

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 29, 2019 62:02


Daniel deigns dentists digging devilishly deep and Joe only wants to drink out of your head if it's convenient to do so. This episode also featured special guest Kristina, who asked the hosts to solve a particularly irksome graphic designer's nightmare. You can check out some of Kristina's graphic design work by following her on Instagram @kbar.designn! Have a topic you want featured on the show? Check out the show on social media and let us know what irks you off. Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | YouTube

Episode 30: Chappie and His No Good Sticks

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2019 31:55


Twizzlers and Redvines are a few of Daniel's least favorite things and Joe has only one request: Keep your chapstick application to yourselves, you dirty birds. In a guest topic, a Twitter submitter begs the question: "Colonel... why do we say it like that?" Have a topic you want featured on the show? Check out the show on Twitter and let us know what irks you off.

Bonus Episode III: HHN 2019 - A Frightening Retrospect

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2019 29:27


Joe and Daniel take a second to reflect on the premier Central Florida horror extravaganza and why you should go at your own risk.  Don't worry Disney fans, it's not so spooky. Have a topic you want featured on the show?  Check out the show on Twitter and let us know what irks you off.

Episode 29: A Spooky, Scary Irkoween

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2019 48:06


Joe and Daniel celebrate Halloween with a jaded look at some of the holiday's worst representatives.  Werewolves, zombies, and even the noble cinnamon broom can't escape their clutches this harvest season.  In a guest submitted topic, the guys also discuss why taking two showers a day isn't just eco-unfriendly, but irk-worthy too. Have a topic you want featured on the show?  Check out the show on Twitter and let us know what irks you off.

Episode 28: A Couple Of Rip-Ridin' Jokers

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2019 33:34


With bellies full of seasonal refreshment, Joe and Daniel recount a less than stellar time with the Clown Prince of Crime, Daniel's trip down and up and down again on a 65 mph death trap, and what it takes to win an Oscar.  News flash, it's not doing a horrible Robert De Niro impression. 

Bonus Episode II: High-Flyin' Citrus Copters

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2019 24:55


In this episode comprised of some cut content, Joe and Daniel throw shade on the two items you should never purchase at the grocery store: Grapefruits and Helicopters.    Have a topic you want featured on the show?  Check out the show on Twitter and let us know what irks you off.

Episode 27: Gettin' Batty with Bobby in the Bouncy Bastille

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2019 45:40


Daniel wants to liberate the auto-locking shopping carts from their surly bonds and expresses some concern with nature's little horror monsters; bats.  Joe, much like an ashamed cat, wishes to be left alone when eating and roots for anyone who stands against the evil Chef Bobby.     Have a topic you want featured on the show?  Check out the show on Twitter and let us know what irks you off.

Episode 26: Arise, Sir King Of Queens, Lord Of Lay's

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2019 44:09


Daniel thinks that the long dead should stay in the limestone rather than the limelight, while also setting out to prove that you really can only have one chip.  Joe unveils his PSA for keeping socks on your feet and babies out of reach.     Have a topic you want featured on the show?  Check out the show on Twitter and let us know what irks you off.

Episode 25: The First Annual Irkiversary Special

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2019 31:55


In our first ever Irkiversary special, Joe and Daniel revisit irks each other talked about over the past year, and pitch new solutions for them.  Daniel proposes a battle royale and thinks cooking shows should include a scavenger hunt.  Joe thinks it's about time we knock kids down a notch and invents a new dessert no one asked for.  A special thanks to all of the guests who have been on the first year of the show, and to all of the listeners who have submitted topics over the past year.  Have a topic you want featured on the show?  Check out the show on Twitter and let us know what irks you off.

Episode 24: The Boys Get Sad & Quiet

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2019 44:41


Daniel explores a lazy movie trope and just can't get a kick out of kicking the bucket.  Joe just wishes people would just move along and stop whispering to each other.

Bonus Episode: Hot And Ready: Cheesy Green Shells ft. ChrisByTheSlice

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 18, 2019 27:31


Joe and Daniel talk with YouTuber ChrisByTheSlice about some video game-centric irks while our guest submitted topic proves that it is, in fact, not easy being cheesy. ChrisByTheSlice on YouTube

Episode 23: Mr. Honey's Got Talent

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 12, 2019 59:27


Daniel does not think America's got talent nor does he care for bottom tier cereals.  Joe expresses some discontent with God's biggest IP's: babies and dogs.  The two also tackle the millennial bane, casual dining in a guest submitted topic.

Episode 22: A Big Bird in the Hand is Worth Two in the Streets

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2019 46:54


Daniel continues his campaign against the animal kingdom and the country's radical puppet sympathizers while Joe reminisces on the days when vinyl figures made sense and Deadpool was just an obscurity.

Episode 21: The Adventures Of Winifred The Piss

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 14, 2019 42:27


On this episode, Daniel is certain reusable water bottles are out to get him and that coleslaw shouldn't exist and Joe doesn't know why trailers go crazy for Schwarzenegger or when Winnie the Pooh's gluttonous rampage will end.

Episode 20: Drink Up Your Sunburnt Leftovers - ft. The Cast Of Vacuous

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 27, 2019 30:43


Topics of discussion:   -Seasonal Drinks   -When people make comments on sunburn   -When people eat my leftovers   -Cheesecake Factory   -The hype up phrase: "I can't hear you!"

Episode 19: Scrub-A-Dub-Dub, You Commie Skank

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 14, 2019 30:31


Topics of Discussion:   -Bar Soap   -Dreamcatchers in cars   -The Rockafeller Skank    -Communist middle schoolers 

Episode 18: Don't Get Sand In Your Trojans, Kids

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2019 32:46


Topics of Discussion:   -Bears   -Bacon   -Sand   -The Trojan Spokesperson

Episodes 17: Chicken Run Spoilers Ahead

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 8, 2019 34:53


Topics of Discussion: -Can openers -Crème brûlée -When someone says "that was funny" after a joke -When horror movie characters reference horror tropes -Vague online item descriptions -Guest Submission: The sound of people chewing their nails

Episode 16: Pre-Ordered Dongled Clams

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2019 39:31


Topics of Discussion: -Clams -Wal-Mart -Nintendo Pre-Order Bonuses -When no one wants to go see a movie with me (Daniel) -Dongles -Bowties

Episode 15: Ovations For O-Faces

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 7, 2019 38:17


Topics Of Discussion: -Cats -Standing ovations for plays -Calling celebrities by their first names -Stalking for love in movies -Clapping when the wheel turns in Wheel of Fortune -Ahegao (Japanese O-face)

Episode 14: Guy Fieri's Rockin' Uncrustables

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 26, 2019 35:30


Topics Of Discussion: -Uncrustables -Hit Clips -Santiago's Story -When people make fun of you for playing Rock Band -When Guy Fieri sticks his fingers in food -*Guest Submission* When people force you to try things

Episode 13: Whipped Blueberries For Unsavory Fake Muppets

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2019 35:52


Topics Of Discussion:  -Fake pockets -When it's past midnight and someone says "see you later today" -Whipped cream -When people excuse behavior because of their star sign -When people have a conversation but pronounce something differently -Blueberries -Lew Zealand -When people crack their bones

Episode 12: Wonka's Select French Pressed Sandwiches

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2018 42:56


Topics Of Discussion: -Having to take off your glasses when you get a haircut -When crossing guards wave at you -French press coffee makers -Willy Wonka -When other people make your sandwich -Pop remixes of a movie's theme song during the credits

Episode 11: Strap On Your Bendy Pants, William H. Macy

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2018 31:48


Topics Of Discussion: -Government Pants -William H. Macy -When Soap Dispensers Don’t Give Enough Soap -Bendy Straws -New-Wave Clickbait Emails -When People Say “At Least I Admit It”

Episode 10: Tandem Halloween Costumes Really Break My Candy Bar

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2018 42:21


Topics of Discussion:  -When you go to click on a link and the page shifts -When you buy a candy bar and it’s already broke in the wrapper -When people don’t know all of the words to Earth, Wind and Fire’s “September” -When people use “lol” passive aggressively -Tandem bicycles -When the teacher wakes you up while you’re sleeping in class -Couples Halloween costumes -The ‘toilet paper on the foot’ gag

Episode 9: Pieces Of Reese’s Don’t Love Your Children

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 29, 2018 36:22


Topics Of Discussions: -Avocados  -Parents who discipline their children inappropriately  -Reese's Pieces  -People who say "I can't believe it's this month already" -Christmas in July -When people say "Don't work too hard" -When people give you a phone number without the area code  -The cake segment of Paper Mario 

Episode 8: Fold Me A River Out Of A Jug

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 29, 2018 33:14


Topics of Discussion: -Folding paper -Designer flip flops -People who drink out of jugs -The lack of color in men’s fashion -When you say a color and someone corrects you with a shade -When trailers for movies show live audience reactions

Episode 7: Ripped Zips & Paper Straw Tips

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 29, 2018 33:57


Topics of Discussion: -Family stickers on the backs of cars -When waiters leave paper tips on straws in drinks -The dead end Epcot bathroom -Having to shit after taking a shower -Going on lunch break with other people around -When people get mad at you because you haven’t seen a movie -Guys who moan in porn -When you’re bowling and knock down all ten pins on your second roll, but it’s still a spare -Rippable zip-lock bags -When cooking shows tell you you can find obscure ingredients anywhere

Episode 6: The Free-Stylings Of The Messers Noodles

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2018 35:49


Topics Of Discussion: - The Cost Of Art Supplies - Pickup Truck Drivers - Horses - The Cookie Crisp Mascot - When People Leave The Lights On - Coca-Cola Freestyle Machines - Commonly Mispronounced Words - Lack Of Female Characters In The Original “Guess Who” Game - Mr. Noodle - When People Get Mad When You Can’t Hear Them

Episode 5: Eat The Crust On Your Party Cookie

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2018 33:47


Topics Of Discussion: - Cookie Cake - Government Facility Hours - When People Don’t Eat Pizza Crust - People Who Tell Their Life Stories - When People Tell Their Life Stories - When People Say Die Hard Is A Christmas Movie - People Who Are Inspired By The Wolf Of Wall Street

Episode 4: Low Pressure Sun Showers

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2018 33:53


Topics of Discussion: - When slow people walk in front of you - Sun Showers - Urinals with no dividers - Low pressure shower heads - When people refuse to be helped by employees - Naked Pillows - Fruit in cereal - When older people use ellipsis when they text

Episode 3: Park Blogging Cabbage Lovers

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 27, 2018 33:37


Topics of Discussion:  -Disney Park Bloggers   -Cabbage  -Hot Dog buns that are to small for the Hot Dog  -People who brag about being low tech  -Toy review Channels  -Targeted Advertising   -Pimples in your earlobe  -Romeo and Juliet as the standard for a good love story

Episode 2: Unwanted Conversations And Restaurant Foibles

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 27, 2018 30:13


Topics of Discussion:  - Restaurant sizes that are not listed as Small, Medium, and Large  -Fries being sold separately  -Youtube Impressionists  -Cashiers making conversation  -Wiping after you've already wiped   -"Well there you go!"

Episode 1: From Toaster Ovens To M&M Commercials

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 5, 2018 33:16


Topics of Discussion: - Toaster ovens - The lyrics to Rocket Man - Paying with checks - Censorsing porn - The sound of chewing - Hair in snowglobes - Previews in the back of books - Songs that start with "yeah" - M&M's commercials before movies - No kissing in porn

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