Sylvie Soul Writing Podcast

In this episode of the Sylvie Soul Podcast, I interview Jennifer Hayward. Jennifer is an award-winning author that writes for Harlequin Presents and has written over 20 Harlequin novels, including The Divorce Party, which won her the 2012 So You Think You Can Write Competition. Jennifer Hayward has recently launched a coaching business, Jennifer Hayward Coaching, which offers story consultation and developmental editing.  For more information on her writing career, visit http://jenniferhaywardromance.com For more information Jennifer's coaching business the services offered, visit http://jenniferhaywardcoaching.com    

In this episode of the Sylvie Soul Writing Podcast, I interview Jeff Thorpe, aka TheLastSonCosplay, a professional cosplayer in Toronto, Canada. We cover a myriad of topics, from the advent of the gig economy; how to balance one's hobby and side-hustle with a demanding full-time job; how to give 100% and live a life of intention. You can follow Jeff at @thelastsoncosplay on Instagram. Violet Love - @VioletLoveCosplay on Instagram Crimson Creations - Custom cosplays and props The Sean Ward Show - Youtube Channel

In this solo episode, I discuss the lessons I learned from speaking at the Pretty Heroes convention in Toronto, Canada.

In this episode I chat with Jeremy Fuscaldo, creator of the Amelia Enmity webcomic. I was introduced to Jeremy during my heyday as a Hey Arnold! superfan and discovered that aside from creating spectacular fanart (as well as commissioned art for my former show, the Vacant Lot podcast), Jeremy is an exceptionally talented artist that brings a lot of value to the creative community. We run the gamut of topics, from the importance of an MFA, to Sesame Street Storyboards and Storybooks. We chat about the current state of the animation industry, the impact of #Metoo in Hollywood, and debate about separating the art from the artist when a creator of a show/property is mired with scandal. We also speak in depth about the power of fandom, from its potential of toxicity to its ability to create transformative works out of its source material. Jeremy can be reached at the following channels: www.jeremyfuscaldo.com http://jeremyfuscaldo.tumblr.com http://twitter.com/jeremyfuscaldo http://patreon.com/jeremyfuscaldo http://instagram.com/jeremyfuscaldo http://ko-fi.com/jeremyfuscaldo Here are some other links to topics Jeremy mentioned during our chat: https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.rainn.org%2Fget-help%3Fgclid%3DCjwKCAjwsIbpBRBNEiwAZF8-zwyjiR2wfIKVVIXE2Xl15SdMgG9-2H3UXj5rKFIGU2n0mE6yJM2_5BoCGJEQAvD_BwE%26fbclid%3DIwAR2IBWF-GsOXCOwLiWEUrBmneI9Dpe9B7bQA646lOoFeqEj0ew9aWpcnD7Q&h=AT0v79Y242qqPhxeVgfGum5LXcWNqd2_DnluNkohUd3bdAh2glewNfnU0Funux4IcK0gfbs3i4EGxBOka2g5vXMXE-76hvltV_OXkEV4cqY_cUURH1LH7uaRcm9ZeNpVqxTUycmIaNVyUWNEixY http://sidekickscollab.com http://tunescollab.com    

Ariana Grande has put the blogging community on notice. The “God is a Woman” star spoke out to publicly defend Justin Bieber’s performance at Coachella. In the process, she spoke out against bloggers in the infamous, now-deleted tweet: “People are so lost. One day everybody that works at all them blogs will realise how unfulfilled they are and purposeless what they’re doing is and hopefully shift their focus elsewhere. “ While these comments were intended for one particularly vocal online critic, they struck a nerve with those who actually DO take part in the practice of blogging. And so the age-old question once again rears its ugly head: Is blogging a waste of time? The answer? It depends. I ran a blog and a podcast about the cartoon series Hey Arnold! from 2016 until the end of 2017. I was excited about the upcoming release of the new television movie, and wanted to sing the show’s praises as a sort of love letter to my devotion to the fandom. Well, November 2017 came and went with little fanfare. The series was sufficiently wrapped up, but with no future projects announced for the series, I was left to ask: what now? In January 2018 I announced I was ending the podcast and closed my site later in the year. The takeaway here is that I had set out to build hype around the new movie and brand new Hey Arnold! content, and when that was completed, I had no further use for the project. Its purpose had been fulfilled. Had I continued podcasting despite no new news on the show, then yes, then the podcast and blog would have been a waste of time, as I would only be catering to an EXTREMELY narrow niche: superfans of Hey Arnold! who are partial to retrospective recaps of old episodes. Not that there isn’t a market for that…. Blogging and podcasting are a waste of time if the undertaking is not in line with one’s personal goals. Why did I create the Sylvie Soul blog and podcast? It’s because I am writing a YA novel and I want to publicly share my journey while teaching and inspiring others who come from a similar background of creating fanfiction. I want to build an audience that will have a vested interest in my book when it is published. The moment I stray from my goal and devote time and energy to projects that don’t serve to propel me toward said goal, then what I’m doing is wasting time. There has to be intent behind making it on different platforms. Do you think King Bach or TheFatJewish’s end goals were to be megastars on Vine or Instagram, respectively? No! They used their fame and popularity as a launchpad to break into Hollywood. TheFatJewish has made appearances in some very high-profile music videos while King Bach has made the leap into movies and even starred in a commercial that airs on national television. No one would dare tell them the time they spent on Vine and Instagram was a waste of time. They leveraged what they could from the experiences and made them work to their advantages to achieve their goals. That’s what bloggers and podcasters must do if they are to succeed. Are you blogging to make money? Maybe don’t write a weekly personal blog that’s all about your feelings and sappy poetry. Are you podcasting to make it big? Maybe don’t sporadically publish 3-hour episodes that are just you and two other guys gabbing about nothing in your basement. It’s all about intent. Pinpoint your goal, then work backwards to determine what it would take to accomplish it. Stay focused; abandon any activities that don’t help you achieve your goal. Be consistent: you are not going to see results immediately. Discipline and dedication are required, but eventually the effort will pay off and you will benefit from the fruits of your labour. Do you agree? Is blogging and podcasting a waste of time? What other steps do you recommend in order to achieve one’s goals?  

I have an addiction. My drug of choice isn’t a controlled substance, and it can’t be bought in the stores or at the pharmacy. My drug is the little red circle that appears whenever I check my Wattpad account. It’s the email I receive notifying me when someone had liked, given kudos, or reviewed one of my fanfics. I am addicted to validation. Confession time: although I no longer write fanfiction, I still occasionally check back to Wattpad, Fanfiction.net, and Archive of our Own to see if the masses are still reading my stories. The brief hit of seeing that someone liked something I wrote is always nice, but what really gives me my dopamine high is when a person takes the time to write to me to tell me how much my fanfic is “OMG THE BEST THING EVER!” But here’s the messed-up part: no sooner do I take in that initial rush of validation, the high is gone, vanishing into the ether like so much smoke dissipating from an opium pipe. The joy is fleeting. So I’m constantly looking, constantly checking for new instances of validation to sate my never-ending hunger. It’s the same for when I post on the Medium or to other sites. I keep going back, hoping to see that someone has shared my thoughts on social media, or has left a comment of encouragement or praise. Sometimes I undergo a “bad trip” (someone sends me spam in lieu of a valid review or comment; a person picks apart my writing in the comments section) but then I’m recalibrated as soon as that next like or positive feedback comes through the pipeline. I recognize that I have a problem. It’s not healthy, nor is it productive to obsessively check for feedback. As humans we are hardwired to seek out actions and behaviors that are approved by the tribe; it is a holdover from our more primitive ancestors that encouraged our survival. But we are not monkeys! We are not primitive caveman at risk of being eaten by predators. We are civilized human beings, and we won’t die if our work goes unnoticed or unacknowledged for a day, or a year, or forever. So I am addicted. And like any addiction, I know that I can’t just go “cold turkey” and expect no consequences. There will be a withdrawal phase, but I can lessen its effects if I just wean myself off the stuff of validation Schedule A Day to Check for Reviews  I’ll be doing one task on the computer, and then suddenly I’m online, scouring Google and Twitter to see if anyone had mentioned my writing in a positive light. I’ll check the clock and realize I’ve wasted an hour on this activity. How did this happen?! I think it would be wiser to schedule a time during the week to indulge in my bad habit. Maybe the weekend, maybe when I have downtime in the evening, but NEVER during work hours or just before bedtime. Boundaries need to be set, for my own sanity. Don’t Feed the Beast  Oftentimes I succumb to my search for validation. Then afterward I feel the hangover of guilt that comes with wasting time, realizing I could have used that same time to work on an unfinished project and get it out the world. So I try to train myself to take on another action when the urge hits. When I want to read reviews and check and for likes, I try to visualize all the new, better feedback on my next project because it shows how much I’ve grown as a writer. Then I get excited and get back to work. STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER  Sometimes the allure is just too great and I have to check online. So if I don’t need to be near a computer, I’ll extricate myself and do something else. Play video games, clean the house, take a walk, eat something. Usually, these other activities allow for my mind to wander and I think of new topics and ideas which I can turn into my next project. None of these solutions are foolproof; in fact, while I may be successful one day I may relapse the next day, I chastise myself and the cycle continues. That’s the consequence of living in our modern era of technology. We are so used to the convenience of instant gratification that we’ve come to expect in everything we do. Every photo on Instagram, every post on Facebook, every published story on Medium. We are a slave to our circumstance. But we don’t have to be. We can continue to write for the likes and validation, as long as we remember to ALWAYS write for ourselves. Words of praise are hollow and meaningless if we’re writing only to receive recognition; we have to enjoy what we create for any of the other stuff to matter. And if we write something that we’re passionate about and it turns out to be a viral success….well, then that’s just icing on the cake.

Confession time: I’m a fan of King of the Hill. In season 5, episode 19 of the series, the eponymous character Hank Hill competes in a lawnmower race. There’s this bizarre plot where Hank discovers he has no buttocks, which comes to a head in the last lap as he struggles to finish the race. Hank can’t win, and neither can his neurotic friend-slash-neighbour Dale Gribble. Dale reasons he can at least have bragging rights in beating the handicapped racer, leading to this memorable line uttered in the race for sixth place: I lost…but I can still beat Hank. That’s even better than winning! This line has become a running joke amongst me and my siblings, and we often spout it in times when failure is inevitable but abject humiliation can be avoided by at least beating the opponent directly behind us. Case in point: when it comes to preparing for long –distance races, I am not the fastest runner. I came in last place in my 8th grade cross-country team. While I no longer bring up the rear, I’m still far from an elite athlete. My goal for every 5K and 10K race is to improve on my personal record (my goal for this summer is to run a sub-35 minute 5K race — see, I told you I wasn’t very fast). So I enter every race fully aware that I will not win, nor will I place high overall or even in my age or gender categories. But I run because of my mantra: “I can still beat Hank.” Mind you, Hank isn’t necessarily an actual person (though, I won’t lie — passing people during the last stretch of a long race is very satisfying). Hank is me at my best, the last time I ran. If I try to set the goal to beat everyone in front of me, well, then that’s always going to be a losing battle. There will always be someone more agile than me, more equipped mentally and physically to succeed, and I will be chasing a goal that will forever allude me. But…if I run 10K race and finish in 90 minutes, then I can at least work towards the attainable goal of ‘beating Hank’: trying to shave my time down to 1:20 or 1:15. Because I know myself; I can take the necessary steps to achieve this goal and still feel a sense of accomplishment even if I pass no one and all I have to show for my sweaty effort is a participation medal. Just as you shouldn’t do things to impress or please others, you should find an internal stimulus or inspiration that makes you strive to be a better human every day. And for me, that will be beating Hank.

Originally published on Medium on July 21, 2018 A co-worker at my office had to put her dog down last weekend. I felt bad for her, so I purchased a sympathy card and included a gift card to one of her favourite restaurants, thinking it would make her day. The Monday after she put her dog down, this same co-worker was physically assaulted by a deranged individual near our building. I felt appalled that someone could be randomly attacked so close to our work…but I also wondered if it was my fault she got assaulted. You have to leave our building to access the restaurant for which I had gotten the gift card. If she didn’t leave the building to use the gift card, would she have been alright? I now realize these thoughts are moot. The co-worker went the opposite direction, and had not opened the card prior to the incident. But how pathetic am I that the first thing I considered when she was subjected to bodily harm was how I may have been ultimately responsible? This is an inherent problem with the human race. Since we are expelled from the womb, we live with this ingrained belief that the universe revolves around us. If we are lucky — and our upbringing is at least somewhat decent — we outgrow this limiting belief and discover that we share the world with other individuals with their own hopes and dreams independent of our existence. To put it bluntly: in the grand scheme of things, we’re not all that important. On my twelfth birthday, I was lounging in the family swimming pool and saw an overhead flock of starlings. I immediately deduced that these bird congregated because it was the day of my birth and they wanted to pay homage. This is nothing compared to my belief that as a six year-old, I believed I held some preternatural ability to stave off thunderstorms (obviously — why else would there be rain and shine in the same sky?) Let’s all agree that I was a stupid, conceited child.     Imagine if I held onto these limiting beliefs as I matured into adulthood; I would be laughed out of polite society (if not elected to be committed). And yet, despite growing out of most of this self-centred mentality, I still carry with me this niggling belief that my presence matters in the grand scheme of things. In truth, it really doesn’t. I’m getting better at accepting this, most of the time. I had a pissy little episode when I went bowling with coworkers and our team had won without me (I had stepped outside and my teammates replaced me in my absence). I chose to sit out the photo taken of our winning team because I felt I was too important to not carry the team to victory. In actuality, my score was average and I was the only one to not score a strike; if anything, my absence likely improved my team’s chances of winning. I should have been happy for my team’s success. Instead, I chose to act like a petulant five year-old and throw a mini-tantrum. In hindsight, I regret my actions. I’m not that important. The game wasn’t that important. The whole purpose of the bowling night was to foster a sense of camaraderie and teamwork and I discarded all that in an instance for the sake of my ego. I made a mistake. I’m human; I’m going to keep making mistakes. But I recognize as an adult woman I can choose how I feel in certain situations and how to react to them, and in this case, I chose poorly. I’m not that important. You’re not that important. Want to know what IS important? How you treat and respond to the people around you. No person is an island. And an island cannot be without the neighbouring existence of a body of water. Other people will surround you in much the same way, whether you want them to or not. You’re not that important….but you matter. And you matter in how you treat other people. It’s not always about you. I’m learning this now. Day by day, I’m getting better.