Tales From The Crit

Jon, Derrick, Mikey, and the Crypt Keeper sit down to play a game of The Last Of Us: Escape the Dark. A board game by Magpie Games based on the wildly popular video game The Last of Us which has also been transformed into a popular TV show which just premiered it's second season. Join us as we play through this narrative board game and try to survive in the world of mushroom zombies!Content Warnings: Adult Language, Fantasy Violence.

After escaping the battle ensuing in Firehollow our Vagabonds high tail (it's a pun, get it?) it to Patchwood to break a key player in the rebellion out of it's prison. When they get there though, they met with even more horrors due to the cat's vicious rule. The Vagabonds encounter the evil Toilmaster, a behemoth of a feline who get's off on torturing innocent creatures. The rebels decide they now have two missions in Patchwood. One a rescue mission, the other an assassination. Soon though, they have an even larger role to play than they originally believed. Content Warnings: Language, Fantasy Violence

We pick up outside of Windgap Refuge that has just been sacked by the Marquise de Cat. With their contact killed in the raid, Peter, Cotton, and Bramble make a bold move in an attempt to set the Denizen's free. They manage to continue on their journey armed only with the information they received and their arms and armor. However, the group of Vagabonds soon realizes there are more horrors in the Woodland than they even knew!Content Warnings: Fantasy Violence, Drug Use (Alcohol), Sexually Suggestive Situations

Welcome to Season Three! Our first story is going to be a 3 episode story arc in using the Root RPG by Magpie Games. This game is ran on the Powered By The Apocalypse System. Peace is hard to sustain in the bountiful Woodlands and its Denizens are once again facing war. Groups of Vagabonds band together to fight off conquerors new and old. We meet our protagonists, Bramble Pinestorm the Fox, Cotton the Rabbit, and Peter the Opossum. Although they don't know it yet, they are about to get swept into something big!Content Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations, Fantasy Violence

This is less of an episode and more of an update on what we're up to leading into Season Three: Bigger, Badder and Stickier. There are several shameless plugs in there for our Patreon (releasing in April), Wolfbeard Games, and our sister podcast, Paramnesia Theater. There is also a huge cry for help- but you have to listen to find out more!After listening here make sure to move right onto our first episode of Season Three where we play Root the RPG!Content Warnings: None

We're putting Season Two to sleep like that little boy did to his old yellow dog. This is a live episode filled with round table discussions on what makes us people, what we liked about this past season, and where we're headed next! And because you're such good friends, we even play a little bonus game of "Ravine" just for you. This episode is a live recorded episode which means it's not as polished as our normal episodes, it does not contain sound effects, but it does contain coughing noises and microphone pings. But it also contains so much laughter you'll forget all about those negatives. Thank you all for a fantastic second season and we can't wait to jump into season three!Content Warnings: Language (We're a bunch of potty mouths)

It's finally here! The end of Crits on Bikes! The end of Season Two! The end of several people's lives in this podcast! In this epic conclusion we find out which men die, and which women and children too. Also, we find out which child is definitely going to be a serial killer when they're olderContent Warnings: Language, Violence

Now that the party has finally uncovered some clues thanks to their exploration of the tunnels they begin to piece the mystery together...which takes them a good amount of time. But, after much deliberation and a quick gearing up montage they press forward and set out to confront the murderous twins!Content Warnings: Language, Child Violence, Graphic Imagery

Now that Danny's previous suspicions are confirmed, Andy and the boys head off to find a less conspicuous entrance to the tunnels running under the town. After failing to break down a wall by conventional means the group plays on Billy's emotions and a little bit of his lost power makes an appearance. Once they're in the tunnels they quickly find out they are not alone. After narrowly escaping the clutches of the unknown beast they discover a second secret and maybe even a third and forth. Content Warnings: Adult Language, Fantasy Violence

One of the gang returns to town in time to help in the investigation! Reunited, our friends work to unravel the clues as they get the feeling that their safety is in jeopardy. They finally catch a break when Max discovers that something's been lurking right below their noses the whole time. Content Warnings: Adult language, Drug Use (Marijuana)

The boys struggle to find clues as to what is going on in their town and as the hours pass things get weirder as multiple members of the party are haunted by what they can't understand. Content Warnings: Violence, Drug Use (Marijuana), Adult Language

Tune in to a very special news broadcast, coming to you from...someone's dorm?

Shelly and the boys talk to the cops (which is against the golden rule) and let them in on Dale's disappearance. Now on full alert the cops are searching high and low for the missing teen hoping that he didn't mean a similar death as Mrs. Melbourn!Fueled by adrenaline, the kids continue to search deep into the night for clues about what's happening where they find out Maxwell has been through some crazy shit himself. They decide to follow a cat (of course) into the woods near the school to look for Dale. Find out on this episode if they find the missing boy, a thumb, or even a monster!Content Warnings: Adult Language, Drug Use, Violence

It's 1959 and the grill is hot! WITH MURDER!!!! Please enjoy this very special as close to live as we could do Halloween Murder Mystery Special! SPOILER WARNING FOR MURDER ON THE GRILL BY UNIVERSITY GAMESWe have a full cast on this episode with Tim, Rebecca, Mikey, Jon, Anna, and newcomer Renee' joining me at the table as we play through the "Murder On The Grill" murder mystery game by University Games. They have a bunch of cool games so after you listen to this one go and purchase one yourself.In this unique episode we go "live" so the audio has not been edited. There may be the occasional odd noise and longer pause than our regular episode but in an effort to make the experience more immersive we wanted to leave all the weirdness in there so you can feel like you're in the room with us. Listen now to find out who done it!Happy Halloween!Content Warnings: Foul Language, Murder

We revisit the town of Bethlehem, PA one year after the horrors brought there by Jim Tambor and his step children, Tommy and Tammy Garvey. There seems to be something even more sinister lurking in this town, or are we all just frightened of a full moon on Friday the 13th?Content Warnings: Adult Language, Horrific Violence, Drug Use

With the gang now in the vault and already covered in blood, they discover what's lurking on the 13th floor. An epic battle ensues before they can get down to the bottom floor. Will their new friend (hostage) Todd survive? Will anyone survive? Will we ever truly know the fate of the vault and it's new occupiers?Content Warnings: Language, Fantasy Violence

The hits keep on coming for Old Tallman as he is immediately attacked by what I call a fishlike lizard in the recording completely forgetting the word Amphibian, and boy oh boy was it large! He once again breaks some bones and him and the gang manage to escape danger once again. With time running out before the door to Vault 69 opens they must head straight to the location of the Old Farmhouse if they are going to be there in time!Content Warnings: Language, Fantasy Violence, Gore

After the gang licks their wounds, Augusta decides it's time to get something else licked and they head over to Rad Rail Station. The station is a peaceful and buzzing community filled with just about the happiest folks you can find in the Wasteland. That is, until our rowdy bunch of bandits come around. While they debate how they can get their hands on a new Power Core for their Tesla Rifle, Ghoulia decides that she's not quite in the haggling mood and goes full Boussh (+10 points if you get the reference), like fullll Boussh, but with no intention of coming to an agreement. From that point on it's pure carnage like this sleepy little town has never seen before!Content Warnings: Bloody Violence, Language and more violence.

Augusta, Marvin, Ghoulia and Old Tallman are in serious danger of TPK (Total Party Kill) as they allowed their curiosity (greed) to get the better of them as they set off on a foolish quest to investigate the shiny object out by the Deathclaw Lair. Now with several party members in grave danger it will take some quick thinking to get the group back to safety. Will they make it out alive? Or, will we see the death of a beloved Player Character?Content Warnings: Language, Fantasy Violence

Our lovable band of misfits are back on the grind as they hunt for some better gear in preparation of their biggest raid yet, Vault 69, in just a few days. The gang heads towards the desert wasteland towards the abandoned Tezla Tower after hearing a rumor that a powerful gun can be found there! But, what will they find waiting for them? Some call it death!!!Content Warning: Language, Fantasy Violence (Guns)

Our loveable band of Raiders awaken in a Red Rocket Station refreshed and ready to go...back to camp...but first, BUGS! and FIRE! and MAGAZINES! After that, it's time to hit camp up for few hours before heading out to continue their adventure!Content Warnings: Language, Fantasy Violence

Join us, as we head out into the Wasteland! We get going so quickly that we forget to answer a question from our Pod Deck Interview deck as well as our boots! Ghoulia Roberts, Mr. Old Tallman, Melvin and Augsta Byron, an eclectic Raider group, set out from their camp after an unwanted visitor drops in for a visit. Armed with the knowledge of a possibly huge score, the gang gears up and heads out!Content Warnings: Language, Fantasy Violence

On this episode we have a start studded cast with Rebecca, Tim, Mikey. and Derrick coming to the table to play the Fallout TTRPG!We will dive into some character creation, world building and discuss some of the rules (there are lots, and lots, and lots of them) and which ones we are going to completely ignore!Due to time constraints this is a shorter episode which will lead up to the official start of our Fallout Story Arc dubbed, "Vault 69!"Content Warnings: Language

After spending the morning grinding out some hard earned XP Maple, George, and Poplar head over to the Pal Center to meet with Nurse Euphoria and get their pals back to full health in order to test them out at the Strong Boi Center. Before they do that though, they take care of a few last things in town and visit Michelle, the Bird Scientist, and get their hands on some Better Pal Traps then head over to the Science Dome and Maple trades his level 10 Loglett for a new and exciting pal!Finally, the boys kick open the doors to the Strong Boi Center ready to take on whoever lies within!Content Warnings: Language, Fantasy Violence

As the boys prepare for their battle with the Strong Boi's they decide it's time to grind...out some XP! They head to the playground determined to catch their 10th Pal in order to receive their Better Pal Traps, but more importantly, to strengthen up some of their Pals! They prepare their pals for battle and enter the THUNDERDOME!Content Warnings: Adult Language, Fantasy Violence

The boys finally made their way to the safety of Chiliville. Unsure where to settle in for the night they opt for the local abandoned playground. When they wake up in the morning they find the town is much more active with vibrant NPC's... I mean residents...that have rivalries of their own to settle. Will the boys get involved and wander back and forth through the town while repeatedly shouting Thunderdome? Or, will they finish their self appointed quest and defeat the leader of the Strong Boi Center? And, how will they fair against a giant bodybuilding tadpole?Content Warnings: Language, Fantasy Violence,

We should have called them Crit-ters! It was right there all along!On this episode of the adventure the boys continue on their journey to Chiliville! With their Pals in hand they fight their way through their first day of adulthood. Join along as they form new bonds and finally make their way into Chiliville!Also, you'll find a shameless plug for another show on the Wolf Beard Games Network, Paramnesia Theater! Go check it out!Content Warnings: Fantasy Violence, Language, Drug Use

Maple, Poplar, and George continue their journey to Chiliville! The trio encounters other trainers, skinny dippers, a woman definitely not cosplaying as a nurse and a bunch of new pals! Come along for the adventure!Also, please enjoy a midroll ad for one of our sister Podcast's, Paramnesia Theater! Go check it out!Content Warnings: Language, Fantasy Violence

Connor, Stephan, and Tim take up the roles of triplets who finally get kicked out of their mom's house after spending their last nine years there. Now 9 years old and ready to strike out on their own the trio learns about the existence of Pokem....err...Pals...but not the Pal World Pals...just regular ol' Pals...and they receive their first one's from a Scientist who's also a Doctor (it's not really clear). After they receive their gifts of special unique starting Pals the boys set off on their journey to the next town over. Taking their first steps into building their lives the boys will learn how to love their Pals, search for items, and how to make them fight!Any similarities between this system and existing properties is coincidental. The people and creatures presented on this podcast are fictional and any similarities are unintentional. Content Warnings: Language, Violence (Animal)

Winter has come and the community from "The Exodus" faces its harshest tests yet. In this episode we will find out if the people are prepared to survive the winter or if they've made a grave mistake in moving underground. As the snow comes and the temperature drops unexpected challenges arise. Find out if the human race will live on or if they will meet their end on XP676!As this is a map making game, please check out our Instagram page @talesfromthecritpodcast to follow along with the changes made to our community's map!Content Warnings: Language

The crew of The Exodus continues building their community on the unknown planet of XP676. As the group begins preparations for the fast approaching winter, they are met with difficult decisions, death, despair and some unknown visitors. Find out who comes with a warning about winter in this episode of Tales From The Crit!As this is a map making game we have made a map! Be sure to follow along with it's progress over on our Instagram!Content Warnings: Language, Violence, Death

See what summer on XP 676 has in store for the fledgling human community that arrived on their ship The Exodus the previous season. As "A Quiet Year" is a map making game feel free to follow our maps progression on our Instagram channel @ TalesfromthecritpodcastContent Warnings: Language, Violence

To kick off Season Two of Tales From The Crit, we have chosen to create a world of our own by playing The Quiet Year by Avery Alder. Will we find sanctuary or ruin on our newly discovered planet?Each season of "The Crit Year" will be it's own episode. If you wish to follow along on our community building and map making adventure then head over to our Instrgram pade @talesfromthecritpodcast to watch our map progress through the seasons!

Twenty-Nine episodes later we close the book on Season One of Tales From The Crit! And to celebrate, we got all the players from our inaugural season together (kind of- you will notice the Jon the voice of the beloved Betty Bob Cocker is missing. And as such, we were all dismayed so we replaced him with a stuffed dolphin and occasionally filled in his answers with dolphin noises. But, don't fret he will be back much more in Season Two!) to reminisce about our favorite Season One moments, answer fan questions, release our very first try at podcasting and give a sneak peak to what's ahead for Season Two. Full disclosure, because of how many people are on this episode it is a little less polished, there's a few more mouth sounds and odd noises here and there so if that's not your thing check back in two weeks for our first episode of Season Two where we begin playing "The Quiet Year". Thank you all so much for an amazing first season and we look forward to Season Two: The Level Up!Content Warnings: Language- Adult subjects, Violence

It all comes down to this...the final episode of the arc and of the season. Will the Order of Haight succeed in their quest to kill The Red Right Hand? No spoilers here...you'll just have to listen to find out.Content Warning: Language, Sex, Violence

Behold! The penultimate episode of our We Deal In Lead campaign. The Order of Haight gets a well needed night on the town, but they aren't the only critters making a ruckus in town, not with the Loosenin' of the bulls happening tomorrow anyways! Content Warnings: Language, Violence (Guns, blades, animals), Drinking/Smoking

The fourth and final bonus episode is here!Listen to this prequel and find out what unfortunate events have sent them down their current path of vengeance!Content Warnings: Language, Violence

The Order of Haight heads back to Riptide to deliver the precious piece of metal that cost each of them a piece of their soul. Recognizing their need for rest Herbert offers them a brief respite at his ranch outside of town. He shares some special wisdom with them and helps up their skills teaching them how to use their weapons more efficiently. Their brief rest comes to an end as the angst to continue their quest kicks in. They head to the house of Jesse Jane's harrowing past to find the third component for their artifact gun. Will they make it out unscathed? Or, will they fall victim to the evil that still lingers on the site. Content Warnings: Language, Violence, Animal Abuse. Child Violence

Rounding out the character introductions we learn about young Cal McCrae's journey from an orphan to a traveling huckster to werewolf bait. Join us as we learn how Cal found his place in the Order of The Mount. Content Warnings: Language, Violence, Violence against children, Gun Violence

Cal, Jessie and Betty Bob Cocker get some answers from Herbert the jewelry smith about their strange shared dreams. However, they get more than they bargain for when Herbert reminisces about his honeymoon with his wife. JK, we don't go into too much detail on that night here...The Order of Haight takes a step closer to their ultimate goal of killing the Red Right Hand. But, how far are they willing to go to accomplish their goal?Content Warnings: Language, Fantasy Violence

This episode takes a long, hard, veiny, look into the darkness of BBC's (Betty Bob Cocker, for long) history. As man after man comes through he mom's door she meets only one who is kind and many who are not. After a gruesome accidental murder Betty Bob's life was changed forever.Content Warnings: Language, Violence, Gun Violence, Sexual Situations

Betty Bob Cocker, Jesse Jane, and Cal McCrea are left reeling after the assassination of their longtime leader, and father-figure, Bad Bill Haight. Left leaderless the gang shares an uneasy night's sleep filled with mystery and clue's to their future. Before the trio (plus Grull) set out on the next leg of their journey they are left with a question...who's going to lead the order?Content Warnings: Language, Adult Situations, Violence, Guns

Get caught up as we spin the yarn about Jesse Jane's young life so far. A tale that includes the horrific death of her family, the kindness of strangers, and the growth of a little girl into a badass gunslinger. Content warnings: Language, Violence

Betty Bob Cocker, Jesse Jane, and Cal McCreigh follow the leader of their order and father figure, Bad Bill Haight, into an abandoned swamptown after weeks of tracking their traitorous former gang member down. Things take a turn when a stranger arrives suddenly and disappears just as quickly leaving nothing but chaos in his wake. Content Warnings: Adult Language, Violence, Gun Violence, Animal Violence

If you don't like sweet setup episodes with juicy character creation and crafty world building then skip this episode and move on to "We Deal In Dice" Part One! If you are a fan of the good stuff, then you'll want to get to know our characters and players from our upcoming story arc "We Deal In Dice" which utilizes the We Deal In Lead RPG system by byodinsbeard RPG's. Our cast fleshes out their characters characteristics, gathers their gear, cleans their guns and and spills the tea about themselves and the leader of their order, Bad Bill Haight.Content Warnings: Adult language

It's safe to say the fate of the World lays in the hands of our Brave Blossoms, Bonnie, Vivian, and Maxwell. Can they live up to (and through) the challenges they face? Will the dinosaurs and the mad scientist team up? Will we really see a telekinetic super-villain riding a t-rex fighting a time traveler with a laser gun? No! This is inspired by a true story after all. Find the answer to all your burning questions and more in this finale episode of our Badgequest arc!Content Warnings: Violence, Language, Animal Violence, Violence Against Children

Our Brave Blossoms may be Klineville's last hope of survival! While the townsfolk grow crazier by the day our troop is no closer to figuring out what's driving them to madness! New dangers continue to pop up calling their attention to several different matters that only they can solve. Will they figure out what's terrorizing the town's waterways? Will they survive the many dinosaurs entering the town? Or will they overcome their biggest challenge...a mean juicing addiction. With the help of their time traveling accomplice, Margaret O'Sullivan, they close in on the solution to all their problems, in this penultimate episode of our Badgequest arc!Content Warnings: Language, Violence, Animal Violence, Gun Use

Every day that goes by in Klineville invites new possibilities for adventure. What should our Blossom's tackle first? The man eating mer-creatures, Bonnie's downward spiral away from her D.A.R.E. goals, protecting the seal population from extinction, or re-homing the town's new pre-historic residents? All need to be solved for Klineville to survive! Content Warnings: Language, Child Violence, Animal Violence,

It's lights out for Maxwell after a monster right hook by Bernice. It looks like he's down for the count...1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...INCREDIBLE! Maxwell has managed to make it back to his feet after just one huff of some smelling salts. However, his fellow Blossoms may want to check to see if he's all there after he spots a dinosaur in Pickle Park.Seeking help from the local Mafia the trio decides to go check that creepy house they ran away from last episode in case it's their hideout. (It really seems like every time I type these episode notes I just end up typing nonsense) We also find out if Bonnie is addicted to drugs...er, "Juice"!Content Warnings: Language, Violence, Child Violence

Now that the Blossoms have put their legal troubles behind them (maybe?) they look for the best cookie selling route to make up for their morning of missed sales. Will they meet their cookie selling quota or are they doomed to run into more distractions like haunted houses, raccoons with electric bills, brain enhancing smoothies or the Pickle Park Murderer! Guess you'll have to listen to find out!Content Warnings: Violence, Violence against children, language, tom fooleryP.S. Sorry for uploading the wrong audio file the first time! Here's 5 XP to make up for it!

Now that Vivian still has her life and youth, the troop goes about selling cookies and never running into a single issue ever again. And if you believe that then you haven't been listening to our Podcast long. Bonnie, Maxwell, and Vivian go to investigate the mysterious objects falling from the sky. Was it aliens? Was it a meteor? Will we find out? Maybe so, and maybe we will find out more about Klineville in the process? Perhaps we should find out with a "charm check". Roll 1d6 now! Did you actually roll a die? Okay, Okay find your number and find out more about this episode !On a 1- You couldn't even charm me with money On a 2- You're not getting shit out of me! On a 3- Vivian has a cat named Wolfgang von Puff-N-Stuff. On a 4- Bernice definitely "juices". On a 5- That house at the end of the street...definitely haunted .On a 6- One of the Blossoms is dead. Have I said too much? Nah.