Who Gets Love?? (Hosted by: Christal Clear & BJ)

The Outcry is a conversation about the expressions and communication of people in relationships. And those communications and expressions have traits that read in ways we don't comprehend correctly. This draft discusses that, and how our judgements impact the poor communications your partner doesn't even know they have. Perception is the weapon we use against our partner's lack of self awareness. So Christal and BJ discuss this. As The Outcry comes to an end, let us know what you thought about this conversation. This was a great dialogue. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

The Outcry (Rough Draft 2) speaks about the softness of two people in a relationship. As well as how those soft sides can mislead your partner, based on how THEY perceive softness. There are many parallels to this idea...so WGL decided to discuss it openly. Typically, when we experience softness most is in the bedroom. And whether you know it or not, there are acts in the bedroom that act as examples to the very things people desire from the relationship overall. Softness is not a given. It's an activity we share in love. We discuss what it is, and what it means to us. We also demonstrate this concept, in and out of intimacy. Listen as we uncover the outcry for me softness with one another in The Outcry. Hope you all enjoy! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Here we have a conversation built around the discovery of Christal's intuitive abilities to see the undetected traits of people around her. And what she has noticed is the methods people are using to express the needs they currently have. In this conversation, titled The Outcry, we break down what a need sounds like today. The details that you now see when an expectation is made known. And how the actions we see from men and women don't line up with the request at hand. Let's get to the bottom of this one. Tune In!!!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Today is the finale of Why Can't You Hit Your Target. Christal and BJ discuss updating. Which has a duality to the average serial dater. Most commonly it means to reach higher than your current status or dealings. But almost never does it mean reevaluate yourself during and after each experience you have. Here we discuss how important updating is to nailing the targets you've been aiming at. Think of dating as a resume. The only way to gain better opportunities with this resume is to keep it updated with as much useful experience as you can. And today, dating prompts us to use this same theory as well. Consistent awareness to your growth and changes keeps your loved one in the know. Tune in to the final draft of Why Can't You Hit Your Target. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Have you ever considered the possibility of having too many options being the reason you can't make a choice? We examine the idea, as well as question the listener about whether or not you've solidified your standards. These, among other things, could be the reason that you can't hit what you are aiming at. This draft focuses on the discipline, decisiveness, and devotion you have to your personal wants and needs. Tune in to the latest draft of Why Can't You Hit Your Target? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Rough Draft 2 of Why Can't You Hit Your Target deals with your aim and accuracy when it comes to hitting your mark. We subtitle this conversation From First Love to First Love...which discusses the vast changes that occur from when you were introduced to your first love. As well as how much of a different person you are by the time you fall in love as an adult. Do you account for all the changes you have made for yourself when proclaiming your standards? And how is it that despite all the adjustments you've made as an individual...your standards weren't updated with your personal change? How does that even work? We examine the causes and effects in this conversation. Tune in!!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Have you ever considered the possibility that the reason why love seems to suck so much is because you really don't know what you like? Today's draft examines this possibility. Titled Why Can't You Hit your Target?, Christal and BJ discuss the issues with adults making informed and concise decisions in who they pick. Are your standards based on who you truly find attractive? Or are you going for the opposite of who hurt you? Listen and find out how this even happens! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

We are finally here at the finale for Push The Button. Here we discuss the support you give for the friend who looks crazy, stupid, or plain dumb based on your standards, when it comes to cheating or betrayal. We don't see support often being shown in moments where our own beliefs don't align with the choices being made. So we discuss what it looks like to support someone for something you disagree with. Christal is more willing to sympathize here in this instance. Feeling like there has to be a shoulder to lean on for such a hard choice to stay with someone who betrays you. BJ, on the other hand, feels like you should have an understanding that this road is often less traveled. As well as taking full responsibility for the hard choice. Simply put...most of us, if not all of us, feel like we deserve more from our partners when it comes to infidelity. So to think that you should expect your support system to be dishonest with their beliefs just to support your decision is difficult to ask someone. And can sometimes create a tension amongst your support system, while the focus should be on your partner. How would you handle an instance like this where the odds are against you...and the only person who may understand you is YOU? because even your partner is removed from what you feel simply because they are hurting from actually hurting you. Very tough conversation to have. tune in and let us know what you think! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Rough Draft 2 of Push The Button deals with the emotions involved in choosing to stay with someone who has wronged you. The power in the choice you make can truly make or break you. Simply because it doesn't guarantee a change in behavior in the one who has cheated. Should there be consequences to the actions that serve as punishment? BJ thinks so. But Christal believes that there has to be another approach to fixing this issue. Listen as we discuss choosing to stay, and what that feels like. Some people think that staying with a cheater looks foolish. But there are some of us who believe that in order to hold someone accountable...you have to hold on to them to make them involve themselves in what it takes for you to heal. Which in some cases, many cheaters are not capable to do. But still, the choice is yours. So ask yourself...can cheating be fixed in your relationship, if it just so happens to happen to you? Let's discuss it together in the latest draft of Push The Button. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Who Gets Love is introducing their newest conversation titled Push The Button. This conversation is a very interesting approach to dealing with infidelity. Christal is at the forefront of this conversation delving into the ideas of how important confrontation is to the growth of the cheater and cheated on. BJ, on the other hand, feels that it's a great sign of disrespect to be stepped out on in such a way. So now, in order to get somewhere...buttons have to be pushed. And let me tell you...these buttons are hard to push. One button feels like your wrongs are constantly being smeared in your face. The other button feels like such a foolish choice to walk hand in hand with someone who just touched on someone else. We are truly affected by these buttons being pushed. But as adults, we still owe it to ourselves to find out the whys and hows of the hurts we experience, to find ways to deal and heal. Listen to this draft and tell us what you think! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

The final draft of Smell the Rain Coming has arrived. The final draft speaks about self-inventory and accountability. The possibility of one being their own storm in life. Is it possible to be the cause and effect of your own love life? Thats what we discuss today. BJ and Christal discuss what it's like to smell yourself...which in the old days meant to be full of yourself. It is very possible to become that when you feel you should be exempt from what takes place (good or bad) in relationships. And because these experiences haven't settled with you yet, you bring about a gust or raging wind when you arrive. That sometimes indicates what your attitude or energy is about. You become the storm for others, based on the storms you've been through. Accountability is at the forefront of this conversation. Along with Christal's belief that it's important to be a storm sometimes for your own good. This final draft completes the cycle of life's experiences that you don't know how to prepare for. Take a listen and let us know what you think!!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Rough Draft 3 is our new draft that discusses your perception of storms you've yet to experience in life. Far too often we live vicariously through those we are close to. And without realizing it, we rob ourselves of our own personal experiences. We want to bring light to how good a teacher our personal experiences can be to the development of our love languages. The subtitle of this conversation is called Weather Proofing Your Home...which is the analogy we use as a hedge against the energies that come against us when we choose to be positive in our actions and beliefs. There is always something that believes otherwise when we've made up our minds to believe such a thing as love. The question becomes: How do you believe in something you have never experienced personally, when the accounts of others prominently show a different chain of events opposite of what you've decided for yourself. Where does the faith come from? What will you use as inspiration to stay the course that you have set for yourself (That no one knows about but you). We have a very layered discussion about faith being accompanied with work to weather the storms we will face at the hands of love. Hope you enjoy today's draft. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Rough Draft 2 of Smell The Rain Coming deals with the beginning signs of storms that often go unnoticed. There are plenty of indications that serve as tell tales that go completely over our heads. And oftentimes we become upset with ourselves for what we've allowed, that we've seen all along. Which although we may have been wronged, we are still at fault for. This draft discusses The Lawn You Don't Water , which serves as a sub title for todays draft. Christal and BJ discuss the importance of understanding the position you play in the issues and circumstances you are in. The detail it takes to survey your land. And lastly, the importance of being weatherproof of individual , as well as relationship storm warnings. This may seem over the head. but if you press play...it will all make sense in the end. Let us know what you think!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Who Gets Love bring a brand new conversation that deals with our instincts and intuitions. Titled Smell The Rain Coming, Christal and BJ discuss how are senses can assist in being proactive to our issues in relationships. There was a time when many believe to have had the ability to smell a storm in the air. Some of us still can smell the weather changes ahead just by getting a whiff of the outside air. But what about the air you breathe inside your home? Where are those same instincts and intuitions when the air is thick at home? Where are we in terms of sensibility in smelling the storms brewing with our partners? Tune in and tell us what you think!!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Here is the final draft of Wrong and Unsafe. Listen and tell us what you think. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Listen to Wrong and Unsafe Rough Draft 3! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

This week's draft continues the conversation of topic, Wrong and Unsafe. This conversation intends on establishing grounds for people in question to find comfort in their realities. We discuss the responsibility it takes to become aware. As well as what has to happen for the people involved to be completely honest with one another. Which isn't always an easy task. Take a listen to this conversation and let us know what you think. Rough Draft 3 is around the corner! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

How important is honesty to you in today's world? Is it imperative that those around you keep it real with you? Those are questions that NOW we question to even matter at this day and age. Considering the fact that living a lie is such a real thing today. Today, Who Gets Love is discussing the position of being insecure in yourself. And in the discussion, we dissect how incorrect our feelings and beliefs are to concepts (not necessarily character traits) we as people will believe without any inventory of self and others. What if the lie someone told you was their truth? Who determines the truth in this scenario? Listen to this latest draft. You will eventually see how shaky the grounds of keeping it real can be. Enjoy Wrong and Unsafe. Its a goodie!!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Today is the release of the Final Draft of Handsome Devil. This is a difficult conversation to have with yourself, and your partner. That conversation is when two people play a part in the current issues but can't defend their position at all. Normally, this happens when circumstances have reached a point of no return. How long do you continue to fight your demons before they kill you? That's primarily the question this conversation discusses. Christal and BJ challenge each other throughout the entire dialog. And in the end, a conclusion is made. Let us know what you think after you listen!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Today's draft follows up on the conversation in Rough Draft 1, where BJ asked Christal..."how do you let a man know his promise, or potential, despite him not being the one you choose?' We discuss how hard it is to stay energized in dating, with little to no encouragement or context from the person on the other side of the table. And for men, the complex responses from women often leave us feeling like failures when we can't gauge our progress. So, instead of continuing to put forth genuine efforts...we begin to create strategies to beat the dating system. And that's when the devil gets busy. We talk about the intentionality of women when it comes to a man having a few fumbles in the beginning stages. We also discuss the issues of men and their confidence to get the women they want. Should we show more grace to people who are a bit unsure how to approach us? Are you capable of rebounding, when you drop the ball with someone you like? These are concepts we tackle in the second draft of Handsome Devil. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

What is the process you take with beautiful people who need just a little bit of help? Do their circumstances change their appeal or appearance? These are a few questions we address in this current draft, titled Handsome Devil. BJ and Christal talk about the guy that knows he's handsome yet doesn't recognize his flaws. Accountability is a major issue in our men...YES! But among other things, like support, encouragement, and constructive criticism are issues as well. And be honest, there are a few guys you gave a chance JUST BECAUSE HE LOOKED GOOD. So... ask yourself...have you created a devil that is busy terrorizing the dating scene today? Tune in and let us know your thoughts!!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

We have now come to a conclusion with the conversation, "This, That and The Third". We know can agree that there is no right or wrong in a disagreement. We are all just living out our experiences to what happened. But there are choices in the matter. What you do with your truth is very critical to your relationship health and longevity. Here, Christal and BJ discuss one of the most popularly dangerous positions ever created in relationships, which is the infamous "I said what I said" phrase. As well as changing the ear to what you hear that you may not like...because how it sounds is not always how its meant. Let us know if this conversation resonates with you. We would love to hear your thoughts! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Today we discuss the third person POV, and how effective it is to conflict resolution. We all know someone who has a bit of an arguing problem. That tends to alert everyone of what it feels like to be them in the situation. But what we don't pay attention to is the ability to illustrate not only their issue; But the point of view and position of the person they feel is coming against them. How can you explain their position exceptionally in gossip...but not so much in the heat of the moment? The third person is a perspective that teaches us how to remove ourselves from the issue to process what is happening...as if it doesn't directly involve us. Can that ability help your relationship? Have you tried to remove yourself from the forefront to pay attention to the surrounding issues. We discuss this here! Tune In!!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

What do you do with three versions of the truth in your current disagreement with your partner? Listen as Christal and BJ commit to figuring out where they stand in this analytical war zone of emotions. This one is fun, yet very enlightening. Press play and let us know what you think! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

BJ and Christal have finally arrived to a conclusion with Planning for The Past. Here, we are examining to what extent will we have to go to affirm our choices. Knowing that our past is what it is (and will be) ...what will it take for you to decide on how you would want live and love to look? It shouldn't take an extreme to make us budge. But truthfully, sometimes it does. And for most of us, it takes for us to be under the gun in order to make a sound decision. What are you choosing for your life after you listen to this conversation??? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Our second draft of Planning For The Past talks about how informed your current behaviors are by the past events. Every step of your way was probably predetermined by something that happened to you as a kid. And it will take you to become an adult to realize it. For Christal, it was in her formative years as a young girl wanting to be social in a place her mom didn't see fit. For BJ, it was high school learning about the realities of honesty for other kids, while having his own truths to tell. These things are a huge factor in why and how you get two people like Christal and BJ. Even as far as how you get this show today. Who Gets love is what it is because of the skillsets the past developed in two people of two completely different walks of life. Have you ever wondered where the past hurts and misfortunes are going to lead you? And what will you do for the meantime until you find out? Take a listen and tell us what you think. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

We all know the saying..."You Must Plan for The Future"! But how is that possible when every decision you have made as an adult has been a counter to your past experiences? In order to plan for the future, we must live in the moment, without reflecting on the past. But be honest with yourself...nothing about who you are today was built by random, unforeseen moments you've experienced today. You are a product of yesterday. Today's topic discusses your Planning For The Past! This will make total sense once you press play! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

The Final Draft of Give Another Fuck is available now. He we come to the conclusion of what we think is best, in terms of footing, when making another step in the direction of love. Knowing what we know makes living much harder because we look at moving forward as a potential bad choice. And who knows...you may be staring directly at your new boo. But you may not recognize them through the fogged lens of your perspective. Listen as we craft a few ideas for the person who wants to give this love thing another shot. Press play and tell us what you think. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Rough Draft 2 of Give Another F*ck is here guys. In this discussion, we talk about knowing what you want, while choosing unhealthy things and people to be attracted to. How do we get here ALL THE TIME!?! We dissect this space and come up with ways we end up confused by our own merits. This is a great follow up to Rough Draft 1. Tune in and tell us what you think! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

As we wrap up Accepting the Reality You've Manipulated...we enter into a reality that many of us are very familiar with. YEP...We are talking about our hurt places. Far too often we make the choice to wallow in our sorrows and heartbreaks. But knowing yourself well enough should tell you that things only get worse when you stay angry. How many times in life has someone asked you "So What You Gon Do About It?" when you give your troubled stories? Have you ever taken accountability for what has been happening to you as of late? We examine that here in our first rough draft of Give Another F*ck!!! Join us by pressing play! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Take a listen to the final draft of Accepting The reality You've Manipulated. Christal adjusts the title to what she now calls Manipulate Everything But The Truth. We finally arrive to the conclusion that some of our realities are at our own biddings. It's no one's fault but your own. And in some cases, accepting the realities come by way of holding yourself accountable. Even in the disappointments. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Take a listen to the follow up draft to Accepting The Reality You've Manipulated. Tell us what you think. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Welcome Back to Who Gets Love. Christal and BJ are returning with a brand-new outlook and approach to dialogue between the sexes. We introduce what we call Rough Drafts. Which involve the creation process from start to finish. Instead of preparing arguments on the behalf of each gender's perspective...we simply TALK to one another. With no defenses, arguments, or vantage points. We attempt to simply hear each other. Completely opening the space for honest conversation. And this first draft kicks things off. Listen as we discuss the acceptance of the realities we create (or manipulate) for ourselves. There is so much importance in the choices we make. Hope you enjoy this offering. Let us know what you think. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Today we return with Part 2 to Size Matters. This conversation poses a question that we're sure many of us have never considered...ARE YOU FIT FOR A RELATIONSHIP? When you think about what made you attractive in the beginning stages...do you have the stamina and discipline to maintain those attributes? Should you even be expected to after the wear and tear of a relationship? How often do you speak about physical goals and expectations in your relationship? We discuss this and more in this conversation. Press Play!!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

We just want you to listen to this very necessary conversation! It's called Size Matters. Press Play!!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Christal and BJ keep this short and sweet by discussing what they've gained from this month's conversation. Both shared points of emphasis of parts 1 and 2 of Sex Work. They also introduce their next conversation for the month of November. You will definitely enjoy this, AND what's to come from Who Gets Love. Press play and let us know what you think. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Relationships can be difficult if you don't know where you stand. Which would suggest that we as people should communicate more. But when it comes to sex, we discuss more of the act itself, than we do the responsibilities to it. So here on Who Gets Love, we bring you part 2 of this months topic. Which is called Sex Work. Where we work on the things that improve the beginning stages to a great physical relationship. Discipline Deserve Intimacy discusses prioritizing your life and love that you share with someone else. Far too often as adults, we become consumed with so many things that distract us from our partners. Which also becomes a distraction to romance and intimacy as well. We look at these short time spans we have as deadlines. And when we think to rush into meeting physical needs, we miss the indication that somewhere we've lost touch. And that touch is important. This discussion talks about the importance of balance, attention, communication, awareness, consideration, discipline, and deserve. All the things that promote a healthy physical relationship. You will have to listen in order to understand how those words relate to a physical relationship. May not seem like they fit. But they do. Listen and hear how. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Here we are with a new discussion that is nothing like what you expect. And NO, we are not discussing actual sex workers. But we are discussing SEX WORK. The work men and women have to agree to, for much better physical interaction and chemistry within relationships. We discuss how principles and morals are the initial turn on to this entire process. As well as how many of us skip over the trust and comfort we discussed in our By The Book segment. People need safety and security in a lot of things. Sex is also a space for those things to coexist. This discussion starts with the atmosphere for where our sexual feelings and behaviors come from. Knowing how to read your partner, and the room. Being mindful of the comfort needed to even consider giving yourself to a person. Those inner workings are very much key to get a person in the mood (if there is a mood). We also talk about how sex is used, whether correctly or incorrectly, as a form of gratitude or appreciation. Societal standards have definitely made intimacy more complicated these days. So every know and again, we have to go back and review some fundamentals. While still updating the rules that are rather antiquated. You won't be disappointed in today's conversation. OR the next part coming shortly after. Tune In and let us know what you think --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Part 2 of our first By The Book review is here guys. We pick up where part 1 left off. And let me tell you…this is where Christal and BJ really engaged the book. They took so much from the book. As well as processed the information differently. The discussion is packed with perspective, analogy, and breakdowns that you would expect to get from the two. There is even a little tiff that somehow makes the very points of why Mira Kirshenbaum wrote this book in the first place. Tune in to the final portion of the By The Book review we've done on the book, I Love You But I Don't Trust You. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Today is the very first edition of By The Book. This is where Christal and BJ take their conversations to a completely different level. The duo are both readers as well. And in the process of developing this segment to the platform, they both realized the differences between them. One, in literature choices. The other is in reading style. But to both of their surprises, this was a great conversation in the end. The book they chose to read was a book written by Mira Kirshenbaum, titled I Love You But I Don't Trust You. This book deals with the trust factors of a relationship, and how people are to find resolution using trust in a relationship. There were tons of variables and gems woven throughout the book. Christal was able to thoroughly enjoy and comprehend the majority of the book. BJ, on the other hand, found it challenging to accept in certain areas and forms. From there, we used key elements in the book to dissect our more modernized current events and experiences. To see if what was given in the read was even practical in today's relationship woes. Tune in as Christal and BJ give a full review of the book. As well as create their own conversation around the things they both learned. Hopefully, you will enjoy this enough to want to read this for yourself. It's a must, in our opinions!!! Tune in to the first edition of By The Book. Part 1 is a great introduction. Part 2 will follow very soon. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Today we enter into Part 2 of The Unprepared, that we subtitled Make Believe. Here, Christal and BJ discuss the fantasy possibly being taken too far. The possibility is stretching your imagination so far that you being out of reach is now a thing in love today. And with opinions and perspectives, the duo discuss this openly and candidly for those who are awaiting a chariot or glass slipper from people who love from a very real place. Instead of criticizing those who choose to believe fictional outcomes are possible in real relationships…we discuss the possibility of the term Make Believe being an actual responsibility for partners. Versus the description of fictional activity. What if your responsibility was to actually make someone believe love the way you've seen in the movies to live by? If it's actually your job to write a love story of your own…how prepared are you in saving the damsel in distress, who needs to be saved and rescued from her harsh realities of love? Can you love a knight in armor that is dull and has chinks?? Well if not, how do you prepare for what you made yourself believe all these years? Let's get into this discussion….open your minds and heart. Press play on the second part of The Unprepared. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

This conversation is different. This is not your typical BJ, who has come to a full understanding of the things that he feels in this conversation, in previous discussions. Here, he is vulnerable and frustrated. Far removed from the place and time that these feelings derive from. This is not your typical Christal. Here, she is the teacher and the experience in this conversation. And from these two dispositioned co-hosts comes The Unprepared. This speaks to the space of men and women who are not ready to receive one another. He feels he has the answers. She feels she needs to find her resolve on her own. He feels that she constantly curves him and leaves him on read. She feels like she wants to hide until she's ready to deal with people. Everything seems opposite of what it feels like. We navigate our experiences with hurt places in this conversation to give understanding and clarity to two people who have never dealt with themselves directly; and how this effects the person who wants to be a part of the solution you have yet to figure out for yourself. The subtitle is called Cartoon Characteristics. This comes into play by way of our ideas of love and relationships. So much of who we are is merely fairytale. Men believing that they have to be responsible for everything and everybody. FAIRYTALE. Women not needing men or believing them to not be resourceful. FAIRYTALE. We learn here that many of our expectations and beliefs started with our formative years and adolescent television. And today, it seems to skew the realities we face with each other as adults. This is a challenging conversation....I hope you understand the need of this conversation. Hear BJ's frustration with empathy. Witness Christal teach with grace and compassion. This will help you to prepare for the many challenges we will face with one another. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

The last and final part of The Willingness is here. Part 3 discusses Christal's theory that "You're Not Available Until You're Willing"...which completes the content cipher. In this conversation, we discuss the impossibilities that come about after you decide to do your shadow work. Most times, we think that karma reverses, after we decide to change. That rarely ever happens. Instead, it tests you to see if your change is authentic. And we must admit, its hard to stay positive when the negative seems to linger much longer than we expect. And from here, we created a magnificent conversation for the listeners. There is so many great takeaways to grab from this. There is no way to paraphrase a conversation packed with wisdom, knowledge, and valuable experience. We just suggest that you focus in on what's being discussed. It leads to a greater conversation coming in a few weeks that will take your Willingness to another level. Tune in and tell us what you think!!!! And did we mention that the conversation was so good, that we ended up doing The Recap while in the midst of wrapping this up. Seems like we naturally flowed into The Recap from the conversation. So you get The Recap as well at the end. Enjoy!!1 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

We have arrived at the second installment of The Willingness conversation. We touched on the misunderstandings that prohibit willingness in Part 1. But in this conversation, we peel back the layers a bit to really get to the bottom of willful understanding and cooperation…and what that means for your relationship. In this conversation, which is sub titled “Your Availability Does Not Mean Willing”…Christal and BJ lay out questions that build on your understanding of what it truly takes to be willing. The questions are raw, honest, and transparent. Each question helps you see what it actually takes to be willing. It takes awareness. It takes shadow work. It takes ownership. There are so many things that come before your readiness and availability for love. Listen as Christal and BJ learn more about where their co hosts perspectives derive from. You will be surprised by the questions…and the answers. Truly the lightest, yet impactful conversation to have as a second part of the series. Enjoy this and share your thoughts!!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

So...we have just wrapped up The Potluck, to discuss where we got the first experiences of bringing things to the table. Whether you were empty handed, inexperienced, or overcompensating for the lack of others. You may have recognized a pattern. One day we are the age of an adult and we are supposed to identify a quality partner to build a life with, when we have no clue on how what we offer holds up in the real world. We may feel we know what we want, but was any of those things based in reality? So if you have been or currently in the place of trying to figure out what you truly want and how to get it, you arrived HERE. Today, we are having the discussion of The Willingness. The space you are in when you know it's time to work on yourself. Even if you are in a relationship you may notice there are some areas that need improvement. So now we enter the Willingness conversation for yourself, and your partner. BJ and Christal begin this conversation with their own perspectives to Willingness. An entendre if you will. Saying their perspectives out loud made the other variable that much powerful. We break those perspectives down in pieces, and we realize that we communicate the same things, just differently. Which is why we subtitled this conversation, The Common Misconceptions. Listen as we discuss being willing, scared, in the dark, in the know, and in fear….in one conversation. And what each of us should do for each other once we arrive to these spaces. There was so much uncovered in this, that made sense to all of the challenging moments we experienced that may have led to us being unwilling today. You will enjoy Part 1 of THREE conversations we are having this month. The Willingness is such a great dialogue from your new Co-Ed content creatives. Let's dig in!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

A quick overview of a powerful conversation. If you haven't listened to parts 1 & 2 of The Potluck, STOP and go to listen. This recap doesn't do any justice to the content within those two conversations. You will enjoy what you hear. But if you have heard the conversations, press play. We give an overview, along with pointers. We also drop some announcements too!!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

We have returned to you with the second part of The Potluck. The Potluck is an analogy based on the habits and beliefs you developed over the years, in terms of proper contributions and table manners. These skills directly effect you in terms of family and your love life. We discussed the women and the habits some of them have. But NOW, we discuss our men and the passive leadership, in what we will subtitle, The Head of The Table. Christal and BJ delve into a conversation about a man's communication, in terms of his appetite. But this doesn't reflect his hunger or taste buds. It's more directed towards what he chooses to stomach in his manhood, for the sake of living up to society's standards. His hunger then turns him to some very bad habits, that effect his family and relationships. Some things he is completely unaware of. Which leads us to a loaded question that only he can answer: Who is responsible for making his plate? His Woman or Himself? In order for you to know where this is going, you will have to press play and supper with us on this very hearty conversation. BJ's confused feelings coupled with Christal's compassion created a very healthy dialogue that's long overdue for discussion at the table. You will thoroughly enjoy this from start to finish. Let us know what you think!!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

We arrive to our topic choice for the month of June. The topic chosen from Who Gets Love is called The Potluck. The Potluck is a cultural tradition that we use to pool our resources together to prepare a meal for the family. And in this space, we now realize that some very unhealthy table manners are developed. BJ was able to recognize some ideals that stem from family gatherings he has attended in life. And now that he shares co host responsibilities with Christal Clear...he decided to bring this conversation to their table of content. The Potluck starts with Part 1, which is sub titled "The 3 Women At The Table"...and this conversation discusses some not so typical circumstances that happens at these potlucks to women directly. So much responsibility is assumed for our women, in terms of protection and provision. But what happens when its her turn to make accommodations for someone other than herself? How will she ever gain an understanding of the responsibilities taken for her, if she never gets to experience the responsibility for herself and others? We ask these questions here today, because this very same woman shows up at a completely different table expecting to be taken care of...while not knowing what to give in return on dates as well. The potlucks in her family gatherings are what taught her what she now knows in terms of reciprocation in dating. Now there are men in her life telling her that what she brings to the table is nowhere near enough. But she can't trust their words due to the fact that nothing was ever required of her at any of the tables she's previously been seated at. Do you see where this is going??? Tune in and let us know what you think about this very dynamic conversation between Christal and BJ. This will definitely ruffle some feathers for the greater good. And trust, Part 2 gets even deeper. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Who Gets Love returns with a brief overview of the first month's worth of content. Compensation was a great start to self development in a relationship. Understanding your worth and what it commands from other people puts you in a great space. So BJ and Christal delve into some of the key points of both conversations. Christal explains how compensation impacted her experiences. BJ was able to draw a few conclusions from experiences he didn't understand, while in the midst of the lessons. This short summary will definitely impress upon you to go back and listen to Parts 1 and 2 of Compensation. Take a listen before the next topic discussions come in June. Thank you for subscribing, sharing and supporting!!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Who Gets Love returns with the second installment of their current discussion, which is Compensation. And in this conversation, it gets a little deeper here. We discuss Compensation from the viewpoint of The Employee Vs. The Employer. Oftentimes we forget that a relationship is a serious business that all parties need to be about. But the power struggle of positioning can definitely alter your job performance and behaviors. So Christal and BJ tackle this from a variety of angles. Discussion topics range from Updating Your Resume. Here we follow up the first point of emphasis in the first discussion. Which encourages knowing your worth. So your relationship resume is a self assessment process of developing an understanding of what you would like to ask of a new position with a special someone. We also discuss how Growth Potential Is Just As Important As Compensation. Nowadays, men and women shy away from seeing potential in their potential partners. Which can truly rob you of experiences you may need to one day seal the relationship deal. So any opportunity you have to grow with someone should be valued.  So many great talk points can be found throughout this conversation. Christal brought clarity to so many distractions we have in knowing who's boss in a real relationship. BJ's questions helped to make each point Christal brought a lot more clear, which is what she specializes in. Together, the duo was able to uncover some very interesting information about both sexes that hopefully increases the understanding and compassion upon seeing flags in a person who has no clue of what they are doing. Listen and Share this great conversation titled Compensation (Part 2): Employee Vs. Employer. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message

Welcome to the very first discussion of Who Gets Love. This a newly formed platform created by content creatives Christal Clear, who hosts the podcast, Christal Clear: The Podcast. She shares co-hosting responsibilities with BJ (also known as Dergobj) of Change The Subject. These two forces have come together in efforts to provide clarity and change to relationship culture and conversation.  Hopefully to cease the divisive battles that are ongoing between men and women. There is not enough intention between the two. So Christal and BJ show you how they do it in their respective spaces. Here, we dialogue about our differences peacefully. With the intent to hear and hopefully understand one another. And today's discussion starts with Compensation. This is usually the deal breaker in most relationships. But somehow, Christal uses compensation as a wake up call to men and women about how important it is to know your worth. Together, Christal and BJ were able to raise some very progressive approaches to getting your monies worth from your relationships. There were many points of emphasis here...like The Negotiating Process of Compensation that talks about the process of reciprocity between two people who know what they bring and deserve. As well as Giving From A Willing Place, that suggest that you understand your boundaries and expectations of giving. We also discuss Who Gets Love most, in terms of compensation. This a great start to a greater purpose for those of us who desire love. Who Gets Love is a question that can asked and answered in two completely different ways: It questions your understanding and your privilege. So if you are willing to confront both...Compensation will be a great, informative listen for you. Tune in and tell us what you think. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/whogetslove/message