Written In The Stars

The male romper. We wanted to hate it but we are loving the onsie and the reviews! Follow along at: facebook.com/writteninthestarspod instagram.com/writteninthestarspod twitter.com/@WITS Other: writteninthestarspod@gmail.com

We have a treat for you this week. No, it's not a ride in the car. It's the infamous @barkbox pigs in a blanket chew toy! Dogs love it, humans can't make sense of it or the feelings it invokes. Follow us on this journey as we fall in deep love with Barkbox social media as they bark back at some interesting reviews. Enjoy us enjoying the pigbutt. Special guest @asia_with_a_y 's dog Squish and a little hint for our current challenge, Ben Tag Taco Challenge. Reminder: if you are able to find our producer Ben in public, take a picture with him, and tag us we will give you a $15 taco bell gift card in a Dino taco (a previously reviewed item). Happy hunting! #writteninthestars #wits #knoxvillepodcast #scruffyaudionetwork #knoxpod #starstuff #doingstarstuff #barkbox #barkback #pigsinablanket #pigbutt #welovebarkbox #dogtoyforhumans #humanconfusion #humansbehavingpoorly #podcastersofinstagram #dogtoysofinstagram #donttakethissexual #itisntevennoon #saymynamebarkbox #dogcompany #getyourmindoutthegutter #misunderstanding #doublestuffed #itsabarkboxsir #mydude #coconutslippy #worriedforyou #whosagoodpigbutt

We're all guilty of a late night ramen feast. This week we venture into the culinary world of ramen as a chic dish every inmate can enjoy. The Texas prison system may not be able to handle this book but we sure can. Donate at: patreon.com/writteninthestarspod Follow along at: facebook.com/writteninthestarspod instagram.com/writteninthestarspod twitter.com/@WITS Other: writteninthestarspod@gmail.com Tshirts, print, and promotions: blacksheepprinting.com

Everyone loves a good, cathartic scream. Including goats! So why don’t we just let them tell us how you really feel. This week on Written In The Stars, the girls are reading reviews for The Screaming Goat, book and figure. At work and over the grind? Just boop your screaming goat figure. Got a significant other who’s on your last ever lovin’ nerve? Screaming goat! You don’t have to say a word. Screaming goat will scream it for you. He may or may not be the greatest of all time, but one thing's for sure- the girls are gonna tell you about it. Donate at: patreon.com/writteninthestarspod Follow along at: facebook.com/writteninthestarspod instagram.com/writteninthestarspod twitter.com/@WITS Other: writteninthestarspod@gmail.com Tshirts, print, and promotions: blacksheepprinting.com

Ever wondered what a balloon coated in artificial flavoring tastes like? In this weeks episode, the girls read reviews for flavored condoms. Use them every time you have intercourse to “make his junk smell like pie,” and keep your eggo from being preggo. If you want to have some good, safe fun, and prevent Rainn Wilson from saying things like, “this is one doodle that can’t be undid, home skillet,” then these are the condoms for you! Listen in for excessive dick jokes and commentary, and significantly fewer Juno references.

Time to get squirrelly as we learn about Finger Squirrels this week. Afraid of squirrels? Immerse yourself in their rodent world one small digit motion at a time. Love squirrels?! It's the pet your parents never let you have! Want to scare your arch nemesis? Go nuts! We dive head first onto the slippery slope that is the finger squirrel. You'll be wondering what you can turn your fingers into next. Donate at: patreon.com/writteninthestarspod Follow along at: facebook.com/writteninthestarspod instagram.com/writteninthestarspod twitter.com/@WITS Other: writteninthestarspod@gmail.com Tshirts, print, and promotions: blacksheepprinting.com Don't forget to keep hydrated: drinkwaterloo.com

This week the age old question of "who let the dogs out" will finally be answered. Come on this journey with us, you may even get to play with a puppy! Maybe see a puppy play. Just know, puppy play is on the table. Hold your love pups close and get ready for some reviews that will definitely make you howl. Donate at: patreon.com/writteninthestarspod Follow along at: facebook.com/writteninthestarspod instagram.com/writteninthestarspod twitter.com/@WITS Other: writteninthestarspod@gmail.com Don't forget to keep hydrated: drinkwaterloo.com

This cookbook is the perfect blend of "new you" post-New Year healthy eating and little romantic dinner ideas for Valentine's day. Please enjoy the reviews we gathered up for this inspirational podcast episode.

You've heard the rumors. You've seen the pictures. Now. Let us take you on the whimsical, possibly drug induced, journey of Cats without having to live through the movie itself. Join us on this journey into the CGI world of cats! That way we won't be left alone with the memories of human faces, hands, and teeth on a tiny furry body. Donate at: patreon.com/writteninthestarspod Follow along at: facebook.com/writteninthestarspod instagram.com/writteninthestarspod twitter.com/@WITS Other: writteninthestarspod@gmail.com Don't forget to keep hydrated: drinkwaterloo.com

Happy New Year! Walking into the New Year single af (newly or oldie) we've got your independent back and have a set of reviews just for you. Microwave for One is a book that helps you find your inner peace and accept that you will be alone forever. Donate at: patreon.com/writteninthestarspod Follow along at: facebook.com/writteninthestarspod instagram.com/writteninthestarspod twitter.com/@WITS Other: writteninthestarspod@gmail.com Don't forget to keep hydrated: drinkwaterloo.com

You did it, now pack it up! This week we read reviews on a Christmas Tree Storage Bag to help hide your Christmas Spirit in the darkest places of your home until next year. Please enjoy the different ways these reviews try to explain how much this bag will hold - we sure did! Gift Idea Review: Monster Strainer   Donate at: patreon.com/writteninthestarspod Follow along at: facebook.com/writteninthestarspod instagram.com/writteninthestarspod twitter.com/@WITS Other: writteninthestarspod@gmail.com Don't forget to keep hydrated: drinkwaterloo.com    

Oh mistletoe! What could the reviewers of the world have to say about a snow-white Snowman Toilet Seat Cover and Rug Set? Let's find out and laugh along as we reveal a common thread that has very little to do with yellow snow jokes! Hosted by Asya, Miranda, and Sherridan Please rate and review if you enjoyed this episode, subscribe if you want to hear more!! New episodes every Wednesday! Gift Idea Review: TriceraTaco Taco Holder Donate at: patreon.com/writteninthestarspod Follow along at: facebook.com/writteninthestarspod instagram.com/writteninthestarspod twitter.com/@WITS Other: writteninthestarspod@gmail.com Don't forget to keep hydrated: drinkwaterloo.com

This week we venture up to the North Pole, awaken the Christmas Queen herself, and ice skate right into the Christmas classic "All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey. Mariah may not want a lot for Christmas but after hearing these reviews she may rethink that. Plus! This week we introduce our gift giving guide! Special review corner for those stumped on what to give loved ones this gift giving season. Bounce on over to that play button! Hosted by Asya, Miranda, and Sherridan Please rate and review if you enjoyed this episode, subscribe if you want to hear more!! New episodes every Wednesday! Donate at: patreon.com/writteninthestarspod Follow along at: facebook.com/writteninthestarspod instagram.com/writteninthestarspod twitter.com/@WITS Other: writteninthestarspod@gmail.com Don't forget to keep hydrated: drinkwaterloo.com

Fashion Pen: It's a pen, just for HER. Before the pronoun held so much identity, BIC used it for a fashion statement. Take a deep breath and get ready for all the passive aggressive - aggressive aggressive reviews we could find for your ears!! Hosted by Asya, Miranda, and Sherridan Please rate and review if you enjoyed this episode, subscribe if you want to hear more!! New episodes every Wednesday! Donate at: patreon.com/writteninthestarspod Follow along at: facebook.com/writteninthestarspod instagram.com/writteninthestarspod twitter.com/@WITS Other: writteninthestarspod@gmail.com Don't forget to keep hydrated: drinkwaterloo.com

The Wenger 16999 is the largest, most expensive Swiss Army Knife money can buy - but the reviews are priceless!! Listen along as we giggity our way through this whopping Wenger and the people who have dared to buy it! Hosted by Asya, Miranda, and Sherridan Please rate and review if you enjoyed this episode, subscribe if you want to hear more!! New episodes every Wednesday! Donate at: patreon.com/writteninthestarspod Follow along at: facebook.com/writteninthestarspod instagram.com/writteninthestarspod twitter.com/@WITS Other: writteninthestarspod@gmail.com Don't forget to keep hydrated: drinkwaterloo.com

Join the ladies in the hilarity as they read reviews on the revolutionary Banana Slicer. Hosted by Asya, Miranda, and Sherridan Please rate and review if you enjoyed this episode, subscribe if you want to hear more!! New episodes every Wednesday! Donate at: patreon.com/writteninthestarspod Follow along at: facebook.com/writteninthestarspod instagram.com/writteninthestarspod twitter.com/@WITS

Gear up for a wild ride, as this week the ladies walk us through some brilliant and visceral reviews of the Daddle Saddle! Parents! Aunts and uncles! Do NOT miss this chance to hear about one of the hottest gifts of the holiday season.

You know the shirt. Maybe you own the shirt. Either way, join in on the laughs and the reviews for the infamous 3 Wolf Moon Tee!

The crew celebrates Halloween 2019 by reviewing a costume that we can all get behind, even if we didn’t go to grad school!

The ladies are back with a tip for late Halloween costumes: embrace your equestrian fantasies with them!

The crew’s second product is the UFO Detector: it’s a magnetometer built specifically to detect electromagnetic anomalies associated with alien spacecraft!

Miranda, Sherridan, and Asya launch their show with the perplexing Uranium Ore kit available on Amazon.