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You guys, this episode is FILTHY fun—just how we like it

Hospitality For Santa A gullible girl finds a Christmas Night Visitor. Based on a post by tomthumper. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. It was the night before Christmas when Betty Boots was awakened from her wet dream of big dripping candy canes; by a thump, and then a clunk from her apartment's living room. Her big blue eyes popped open as she listened to a rustling, then a man's voice; cursing? Excited, Betty slipped out of bed and crept towards the living room, the cool night air raising goose bumps all over her voluptuous body. The red frilly negligee she wore was frightfully thin, but Betty didn't mind the cold. She was convinced she was going to catch Santa Claus! Eight years ago, when she was just eighteen, she had hidden behind the couch as Santa put presents under the Christmas tree at her parent's home. She'd just returned from college, after semester finals. But even when she was an elementary lass, friends had tried to convince her that Santa wasn't real. But Betty was a special girl. She really, really loved Santa. Eight years ago, as Santa slipped the last present under the tree that night, her mother had come out of the bedroom wearing only a pair of white stockings, stiletto heels, and hair ribbon; and gave Santa a very friendly hug. In return, Santa gave Betty's mum a very sexy workout that night. Betty got the gift of a very sexy education. Unfortunately, the next day when young Betty's salesman Dad called from the airport, about to board his rescheduled flight home; Betty had told him all about Santa's exciting visit. Dad had gotten very upset and yelled at Betty's mum. He hung up and they never saw him again. Betty's mum was angry, and threw Betty out of the house for good. From then on Betty had to go back to college, but since the dorms were vacated til past new years, she had to turn to some fraternities, who were always happy to help the plucky, busty, blonde beauty. They were eager to trade boarding for services. But it's 8 years later. Sneaking towards her apartment living room, Betty was very excited. It was Christmas and Santa had come to visit her! She wasn't angry about Santa causing her parents to split or her abandonment. She had never connected the events. No, Betty was as happy and excited as a particularly naïve schoolgirl. Santa was in her living room! She tried not to skip with glee, as she slipped into the unlit room. Santa was bent over the entertainment center. Perhaps, Betty thought, he was leaving a holiday music CD in her stereo. She hoped it was someone sexy and sophisticated like Britney Spears or Katy Perry. Betty flushed. Santa had sure slimmed down since the last time. He had the firmest butt that showed off very well indeed, in his tight blue jeans. He must have started going to the gym because his muscles bulged beneath his black sweater. He still wore a red Santa hat, which made sense since he was Santa. "Oh; Santa," she said, half out of happiness to find him bringing her presents, and half because; Wow! He was really built. Santa was startled and turned around. Betty was confused. Instead of being old with a white beard, he was young, with chiseled features, short spiky black hair and green vigorous eyes. But then again, Betty thought, Santa was a magical man. Perhaps this was how he appeared to lonely young women who were positively bursting out of their lacy intimates, like her mom had done, some 8 years earlier? "I'm sorry Santa," said Betty in a bashful voice, after flicking on a lamp. Santa was looking very nervous. He had dropped his bag of presents with a clank; and if she didn't know better, she would have said he was about to make a break for it. "I'm sorry Santa," she repeated, edging over to him. "I know I should be tucked in bed like a good girl. But I got so very excited when I heard you delivering my presents." Santa's mouth dropped open, and it took him a moment to say anything. "Santa?" he finally managed to say, in a marvelously deep voice. "You can't fool me, Santa," Betty said proudly, sticking out her magnificent chest. "I'm smart. You're disguising yourself! You may not look like Saint Nick, but who else would be bringing me presents tonight? The Easter Bunny?" "I; I guess you caught me," Santa said, googling at Betty's buxom tits. The fabric of her red negligee was light and sheer, almost transparent. She obviously wasn't wearing a bra and her sizable jugs jostled together amiably. Santa could even catch the hint of her tit's dark areolas. "Well," he gulped. "I should go." He reached to pick up his sack. "Lots of boys and girls to visit." "Oh no, Santa!" Betty exclaimed, clutching him to her bosom. "Please don't go yet! Have some milk and cookies. Mama taught me to be extra hospitable, and be good to you." Santa got a strange look on his face as the buxom blonde rubbed up and down him in her small frilly teddy. Without her noticing, he flipped up the back of her nightie. He broke into a grin. This girl had gone to bed without any panties! "Okay," he said. "I'll stay a bit." He settled down in a brown comfy chair and let Betty serve him his milk and cookies. "Any beer?" Betty got Santa a tall cool one, which he guzzled, in one swig. "Ah!" He plopped the bottle down and looked up at Betty, who was hovering over his extended leg. Facing away, she was removing his boots for a foot massage, and accidentally giving him a preview of her equally blonde nether locks as well. He stretched and then grabbed her round the waist and set her on his lap. Then he asked with a grin. "So what do you want for Christmas, little girl?" "I thought you'd never ask, Santa!" exclaimed Betty. She giggled as she slid further up on his lap, making him go Ooof! and slip his hand up the back of her nightie; all the way up to her shoulder blades. Betty was so excited, she paid no attention to Santa's paw. "But you have to ask me the other question first, Santa," demanded Betty, bouncing on Santa's lap. "Holy" Santa caught himself just in time as Betty gave his lap the bouncing of its life. "What question honey?" "The naughty or nice question!" Betty said impatiently. "What's wrong with you, Santa?" Santa was breathing the sweet scent of Betty's hair; so had to shake his head to answer the question. "Oh, yes! Naughty or nice. Sorry, my girlfriend; I mean, Mrs. Claus left me for one of the elves." He eased his hand lower until it rested on her full round ass. Man, this chick was all curves! "That's awful, Santa!" said Betty, opening wide her full round lips around the 'aw' in awful. "Yes. I walked in on them," said Santa. "Have you ever seen an elf with a twelve inch dick?" "Not on an elf." Betty shuddered. "But twelve inches is a lot for any gal to take, let me tell you." She blushed, realizing that Santa was studying her closely. "Hmm, So you know exactly how she felt," he said, giving her bottom a squeeze. Betty giggled and wiggled. "So Santa has been all alone since June, and what with my work; I don't get to meet cute little scamps like you, except for around Christmas." "Poor Santa!" cried Betty. "So there's been no one to; relieve all the pressure?" Betty grinned as her hand involuntarily slid over the hump between his legs.. Santa might not be twelve inches, but she was pretty sure he was pushing eight or nine, judging from what a bumpy lap she was sitting on. "Yes, it's just been me and the reindeer," said Santa. "Oh, Santa," Betty said in a shocked voice. "You haven't been using Cupid or Comet that way, have you?" "What way is that?" asked Santa, running his finger down between her soft ass cheeks. "You know." Betty squirmed. "Like when a woman bends over and a man takes his; candy cane and slides it into her stocking." "Oh, reindeer-style," Santa drawled. "No, I've never gotten that desperate." He locked Betty in his gaze. "What about you? Have you been a good girl this year? I hope you haven't been getting your stocking stuffed, too much. Though you're very, very stuff-able." "Well..." Betty looked very guilty. "I've been, pretty good?" "Betty," Santa said sternly. "Remember who you are talking to." Betty tugged at the neck of Santa's sweater. "Well, I honestly didn't know about my mistletoe print dress, until Mr. Stevenson and Mr. Johnson took me into the coat room, and explained," she said in a defensive tone. "It was lucky Mr. Johnson told me to take it off, cause while they were performing the traditional punishment, Mr. Stevenson splattered all over me with his big dick! Santa's eyes widened as he imagined the banging of Betty Boots in the coat closet. His pants were getting tighter and tighter, nuzzling Betty's sexy bottom. "I got pretty tipsy as well," admitted Betty. "But I did a good deed! I gave Tim, the office boy, a hand job cause of his cock cancer." "Cock cancer?" "Yes," said Betty, biting her lip trying to remember. "He was afraid he might have cock cancer, and the only way to know was to; you know, try to cum. But he didn't want to find out all alone. So I;" Betty grinned sheepishly. "I gave him a hand job." "And?" asked Santa, shifting with exquisite discomfort. "Oh, he came really, really well!" Betty giggled. "I decided to really make sure he was A okay, so I sucked on him till he came again." Betty licked her full lips. "He tasted very healthy!" She glanced at Santa nervously. "I like tasting cocks. Is that naughty?" "Ho Ho! No!" Santa bounced Betty on his knee, watching her tits jiggle as her ass pounded his bulge. "Except Santa isn't sure if you're not just a little naughty," he said. "The last time I looked at you closely, was when you were still in high school." He wiggled the end of her button nose. "You were in the shower getting all soapy. My how you've sprouted since then!" "In the shower?" Betty squeaked. "Oh gosh, I wasn't using the shower head was I? You know, the naughty way." When Santa nodded, Betty turned bright red. "But, but I have to, cause if I don't, I just can't concentrate on anything. Even now." Betty was crossing and uncrossing her legs and nuzzling against Santa's broad chest. "There, there," said Santa, giving Betty's bottom a comforting pat. "I know a vigorous girl like you needs to let off steam if she's going to try and be nice." Betty calmed down and rested her head on Santa's shoulder. "I decided I should visit you tonight and have a good look at you, because I know how hard you try to be a good girl," he explained. "Sometimes Santa needs to really examine the borderline naughty girls. Now slip off that nightie and let's get started." Betty's eyes widened, and she sat up straight on Santa's lap. "You want to see me naked?" she asked, her voice a little shocked. "Yes," wheedled Santa. "That way I can be really sure if you are naughty or nice. You want your presents, don't you?" "I do! I do!" exclaimed Betty. "I guess it's okay, since it's you, Santa." Betty amiably reached down and took hold of the hem of her fuzzy red negligee. "Now that's the first sign of a good girl!" Santa helped Betty slip the garment over her head, and had her hold her arms up in the air as he feasted his eyes on Betty's supple body. With her perfect complexion and the lotion she rubbed all over herself, by her open window each night, she was good enough to eat. Santa groaned as his eyes unsuccessfully tried to take in Betty's firm melons. Around each nipple was a large chocolate areola, like the ring around a particularly high scoring bulls-eye. "What's the matter, Santa Claus?" asked Betty, putting her arms around him. "You seemed bothered." "Oh, it's nothing," he said, pulling Betty's warm, curvy body closer. "It is just that Mrs. Claus has nice firm tits like yours. I loved to suck on her nipples. They were so tasty." Santa's voice was heavy with sadness. After a moment of silent considering, Betty spoke up in a kindly voice. "You could suck my nipples, if you'd like. I mean, I know it wouldn't be the same as Mrs. Claus, but maybe it would help." She squirmed with delight. She was proud of her tits and having her nipples sucked made her all squishy. "If you're sure you don't mind," said Santa quickly, taking her knockers in his large hands and gently squeezing them. How plump they were! Betty shook her head, a happy half grin lighting up her face. "Thank you very much." Santa gently took the nearest nipple into his mouth and began to suck. Betty's nipples had hardened at the mere idea of Santa having a go; and each was nearly an inch long. Santa closed his eyes as he began to draw on the tasty teat. Betty moaned and rubbed herself on his lap, pushing her breasts into his face. God, she loved to be sucked! Her pussy was getting drippy with delight. "Oh, Santa!" she gasped. "You're so lumpy! What do you have in your pants?" Betty swiveled so she straddled Santa and could better rub up and down his lap. Her pussy lips had spread apart easily to nestle on the rise of his jeans. "I'm sorry, my breasty beauty," said Santa, nosing his way between Betty's heaving knockers. "It's been so long since I felt the touch of a woman. I've even started letting young women sit on my lap. "In Switzerland this Inga in a Heidi skirt hopped up, popped the buttons on my pants and pulled out my stiff todger. She was a horny girl who loved to bounce up and down." Santa gripped Betty's hips and grinded her as he spoke. "Damned if she didn't wrap her pussy lips right around me! And this was all in a crowded mall. She batted her eyes and waved to her friends. Her cunt muscles rippled up and down me as she asked for a pretty pair of shoes for Christmas. The she leaned in and whispered: "Oh Sinterklaas, I want you to use your big cock to fill up my belly!" Then in a louder voice she said, "Oh yah! Bounce me on your knee, yah!" And she rode my cock, surrounded by my elves, mummies and daddies, their children; and also her lewd little girlfriends, until I erupted into her. The last time I saw her, she indeed did have a big belly, and tits almost as big as these." He squeezed Betty's boobs together and sucked each nipple with a long hard pull at the end. "What a saucy girl! And how selfish not to consider your feelings," said Betty, pulling off Santa's cap and putting it on. "I think it is high time someone be your Santa. Or," she grinned. "Be your Ms. Santa!" She stripped off Santa's sweater and marveled at the sculpted bronze muscles underneath. Playfully, she tugged on his nipples. "What nice buttons you have Santa!" Then she whispered naughty things in his ear. "You want to ride the boobie train, Santa? You want to check out my caboose? I bet you could make me blow the whistle, Santa." "Get some steam going, baby!" He slapped her firm round bottom. "Run to your bedroom and Santa will follow with a big candy cane for his special special girl." So Betty ran, her boobs bouncing, giggling lustily, and Santa followed, dropping his pants and letting his cock wave in the air. Betty tripped on a pair of high-heeled boots and fell face down on her bed, her boobs splayed out on either side of her. Before she could move, Santa caught up, raised her bottom and started sliding his turgid cock between her plump ass cheeks. "Santa!" laughed Betty. "What a naughty boy you are!" "What a wet girl you are!" Santa spread Betty's legs and dipped his fingers into her sodden snatch. "Oh, Santa," groaned Betty. "Just how I like my ho's," chuckled Santa. He withdrew his fingers and gripped his reddened rocket. "Here comes Santa Claus! Right down Betty's cunny lane!" He fed his cock into Betty's pussy, reindeer style. "Oh, Santa!" Betty lost her balance and ended up with her head buried in pillows and stuffed animals. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" moaned Santa, his cock buried in the pussy of this beautiful woman's body. Her round toned ass was up in the air, her boobs rocking with each thrust, her empty head was lost under the pillows. "Mumfer!" Betty tried to say, flailing her arms. "Oh yes! You hot bitch!" cried Santa, battering her bottom with the pent up lust of the last six months. All he wanted was release and the liquid snugness of this beauty's snatch on his red-hot cock. That she was temporarily headless just made him more animal, more Satan than Santa. "Ah, mumph!" went Betty as Santa's dick stretched her wet pussy. She tried to pull her head from the pillows but Santa was ramming her so hard all she could do was be ridden by him like an extremely busty fuck doll. He was fucking her so fast and the air was so hot and close under the pillows, teddy bears, and her tickle-me-Elmo. She felt like the naughtiest fuck doll you might see advertised at the back of a porno rag. He was just using her to sate his big bulging cock. His swelling mushroom head rubbed her walls. She was going to cum, but she felt so dizzy, so light. "Oh, Jesus fucking Christ," grunted Santa, working his dick up into a white foam of her cunt cream. The sucking and slurping noises from Betty's cunt echoed off the wall as her boobs rocked back and forth on the bed. Her head was still out of sight under the bedding. "I'm gonna fill this ass!" Santa declared and slapped a red handprint across it. Then the pussy, for Santa had forgotten poor suffocating Betty, suddenly tightened and he found real resistance and purchase for his cock. The cunt dragged on his dick as he slid out, and was slow to give way as he shoved in. "Oh yes! You wonderful poon tang," he said, digging in with his dick, feeling every inch as he plowed. "That's, That's it," he groaned. And as he plunged deep; the pussy convulsed around him; giving him a series of rapid squeezes. "Hmm, ah." came the muffled cry of orgasm from under the pillows. "Oh, what a fucking tremendous naughty girl!" Santa's cock exploded and shot ropes of cum into Betty's twitching snatch. He held her weighty bottom up, and filled her up like a fuel tank on a big rig. Santa gasped and let Betty's body fall to the bed, his gleaming, still-hard cock, slipping from her pussy. Her snatch twinkled from between her golden ass cheeks. On either side of her small and finely muscled back, her boobs spread out like overfilled water balloons. Her head was still under the pillows and she wasn't moving at all. Was she even breathing? "Betty?" His cock twitched and spurted cum residual over her bottom and the small of her back. Betty didn't move at all. "Oh, fuck!" He grabbed her leg and shook it. Nothing. "Shit," he muttered. "Stealing is one thing. Pretending to be Santa, who cares? But murder!" Santa Claus, a.k.a. Sam Clay; burglar, jumped onto the bed and pulled the pillows and teddy bears from Betty Boots' blonde heat. He flipped her over, her jugs sloshing from side to side until finally coming to a quivering halt. Her eyes were closed and her plump red lips hung open. Sam had been merrily breaking into the less secure apartments of the complex, loading up on Christmas presents when he slipped into Betty's apartment through the unlocked balcony door. Who knew Christmas shopping could be so much horny fun? Or turn so wrong? "Please don't be dead," pleaded Sam. "You're such a fine fuck!" He rested his ear between her tits and held his breath. For a moment he could hear nothing over the pounding of his own heart. But then, then there was a soft and steady echoing in that wonderful chest of hers. He sat back in the bed and sighed with relief. After a moment, Betty stretched without waking up, turned on her side towards Sam; and rested her tousled blonde head on his lap. She smacked her lips and sighed. Sam had been worrying about brain damage. How many brain cells did this girl have to spare? But all worries left his mind when she put her head on his leg. "Hmm! Maybe she needs cock-to-mouth resuscitation!" he said, his dick starting to stiffen. Stroking himself luxuriously, he put his tip up to her mouth. At first she furrowed her brow and refused him, but he persisted, rubbing the tip with its bead of pre-cum over her lips until she licked them. After that she relaxed completely and let him slip his member into her mouth. First his head went in and she was eagerly sucking after a few mewls. "Oh yes, baby," he groaned as her tongue explored his cock-head, lapping the underside. "Santa's got the tasty candy-cane for you." He stroked her head, gently applying pressure on the back of her head, so soon she was bobbing her head up and down on his dick. "What a hungry mouth you have," he moaned as she sucked hungrily on him, her hair tickling his abs and her nipples brushing his thighs. Betty's eyelids fluttered open and then became very wide as she realized that she was orally pleasuring Santa's very big, very bulging dick. "Umm; Hmm! Slurp! Slurp! Oh, Santa Claus, you made me cum so hard I passed out!" Betty wrapped her hands around Sam's cock and pumped him as she talked. "I am sorry Santa, no one has fucked my brains out like that, ever!" "That's okay, Betty," Sam grunted, watching the tip of his dick disappear between Betty's boobs. "Except Santa still has this raging hard-on." "I'm sorry Santa," Betty said, realizing she was covered in a layer of hardening cum. "I'm being so selfish when I'm supposed to be giving." She climbed up Sam's prone body, took hold of his pole and slid her gorgeously tight pussy all the way down him, right to the hilt. She swayed like a bronco rider on top of him, moaning. "Oh Santa, such a big gift on Christmas!" She began to slowly slide herself up and down him. Sam lay back and watched the blonde beauty ride him, groaning as she moaned, squeezing her knockers, and urging her on. "Oh shit! You're going to be at the very top of my nice list for this," he said as she picked up her pace and began to gallop. Her boobs flew high into the air and then dropped onto her chest with fleshy thuds over and over again. Faster and faster she fucked. Her pussy was tingling every nerve of his dick until he could no longer stand it. "Jingle Boobs! Jingle Boobs," he gasped. "Jingle all the... oh god, oh god... Jingle All the Way!" And his cock gunned shot after shot into her snug little snatch. "Oh Santa. Oh Santa! Fill me up with your sticky snow!" Betty rocked her pussy furiously over his dick. "Oh, oh, Santa! Santa! Santa!" She was really loud now. She raised her arms in the air and her eyes rolled back in ecstasy. "Merry Christmas, Santa!" And she came, doing little half jerky gasps over his pulsing dick. "Merry" She bounced. "Christmas" She undulated. "Santa!" She jiggled up and down furiously for a glorious moment, her knockers slapping her chest and then her chin stunningly. Finally she fell beside Sam gasping. At that point Sam thought it was over, but he didn't realize what a trooper Betty Boots was. She slithered down to his lap and slipped his still pulsing dick into her mouth. Slowly and thoroughly she milked the last of his cum and licked his balls clean. Sam looked up to the heavens in bliss. When all of this was finished he looked down. Betty was curled up beside him asleep, a naughty grin on her face. The next morning Betty was delighted to find two presents from Santa under her two-foot plastic tree. Santa must have been a little too happy from Betty boinking because one had a label to Lori and the other one was addressed to Mabel. The Lori present was a tiny white crop top with Pretty ink-stamped across the chest. Betty blushed, thinking of what kind of attention she would get wearing a top better suited to a flat-chested twelve-year-old. The Mabel present was a black three-foot massage wand, but Betty soon found another very naughty use for her present. She was sure Santa would approve. It was the best Christmas ever!  Based on a post by tomthumper, for Literotica.

Hospitality For Santa A gullible girl finds a Christmas Night Visitor. Based on a post by tomthumper. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. It was the night before Christmas when Betty Boots was awakened from her wet dream of big dripping candy canes; by a thump, and then a clunk from her apartment's living room. Her big blue eyes popped open as she listened to a rustling, then a man's voice; cursing? Excited, Betty slipped out of bed and crept towards the living room, the cool night air raising goose bumps all over her voluptuous body. The red frilly negligee she wore was frightfully thin, but Betty didn't mind the cold. She was convinced she was going to catch Santa Claus! Eight years ago, when she was just eighteen, she had hidden behind the couch as Santa put presents under the Christmas tree at her parent's home. She'd just returned from college, after semester finals. But even when she was an elementary lass, friends had tried to convince her that Santa wasn't real. But Betty was a special girl. She really, really loved Santa. Eight years ago, as Santa slipped the last present under the tree that night, her mother had come out of the bedroom wearing only a pair of white stockings, stiletto heels, and hair ribbon; and gave Santa a very friendly hug. In return, Santa gave Betty's mum a very sexy workout that night. Betty got the gift of a very sexy education. Unfortunately, the next day when young Betty's salesman Dad called from the airport, about to board his rescheduled flight home; Betty had told him all about Santa's exciting visit. Dad had gotten very upset and yelled at Betty's mum. He hung up and they never saw him again. Betty's mum was angry, and threw Betty out of the house for good. From then on Betty had to go back to college, but since the dorms were vacated til past new years, she had to turn to some fraternities, who were always happy to help the plucky, busty, blonde beauty. They were eager to trade boarding for services. But it's 8 years later. Sneaking towards her apartment living room, Betty was very excited. It was Christmas and Santa had come to visit her! She wasn't angry about Santa causing her parents to split or her abandonment. She had never connected the events. No, Betty was as happy and excited as a particularly naïve schoolgirl. Santa was in her living room! She tried not to skip with glee, as she slipped into the unlit room. Santa was bent over the entertainment center. Perhaps, Betty thought, he was leaving a holiday music CD in her stereo. She hoped it was someone sexy and sophisticated like Britney Spears or Katy Perry. Betty flushed. Santa had sure slimmed down since the last time. He had the firmest butt that showed off very well indeed, in his tight blue jeans. He must have started going to the gym because his muscles bulged beneath his black sweater. He still wore a red Santa hat, which made sense since he was Santa. "Oh; Santa," she said, half out of happiness to find him bringing her presents, and half because; Wow! He was really built. Santa was startled and turned around. Betty was confused. Instead of being old with a white beard, he was young, with chiseled features, short spiky black hair and green vigorous eyes. But then again, Betty thought, Santa was a magical man. Perhaps this was how he appeared to lonely young women who were positively bursting out of their lacy intimates, like her mom had done, some 8 years earlier? "I'm sorry Santa," said Betty in a bashful voice, after flicking on a lamp. Santa was looking very nervous. He had dropped his bag of presents with a clank; and if she didn't know better, she would have said he was about to make a break for it. "I'm sorry Santa," she repeated, edging over to him. "I know I should be tucked in bed like a good girl. But I got so very excited when I heard you delivering my presents." Santa's mouth dropped open, and it took him a moment to say anything. "Santa?" he finally managed to say, in a marvelously deep voice. "You can't fool me, Santa," Betty said proudly, sticking out her magnificent chest. "I'm smart. You're disguising yourself! You may not look like Saint Nick, but who else would be bringing me presents tonight? The Easter Bunny?" "I; I guess you caught me," Santa said, googling at Betty's buxom tits. The fabric of her red negligee was light and sheer, almost transparent. She obviously wasn't wearing a bra and her sizable jugs jostled together amiably. Santa could even catch the hint of her tit's dark areolas. "Well," he gulped. "I should go." He reached to pick up his sack. "Lots of boys and girls to visit." "Oh no, Santa!" Betty exclaimed, clutching him to her bosom. "Please don't go yet! Have some milk and cookies. Mama taught me to be extra hospitable, and be good to you." Santa got a strange look on his face as the buxom blonde rubbed up and down him in her small frilly teddy. Without her noticing, he flipped up the back of her nightie. He broke into a grin. This girl had gone to bed without any panties! "Okay," he said. "I'll stay a bit." He settled down in a brown comfy chair and let Betty serve him his milk and cookies. "Any beer?" Betty got Santa a tall cool one, which he guzzled, in one swig. "Ah!" He plopped the bottle down and looked up at Betty, who was hovering over his extended leg. Facing away, she was removing his boots for a foot massage, and accidentally giving him a preview of her equally blonde nether locks as well. He stretched and then grabbed her round the waist and set her on his lap. Then he asked with a grin. "So what do you want for Christmas, little girl?" "I thought you'd never ask, Santa!" exclaimed Betty. She giggled as she slid further up on his lap, making him go Ooof! and slip his hand up the back of her nightie; all the way up to her shoulder blades. Betty was so excited, she paid no attention to Santa's paw. "But you have to ask me the other question first, Santa," demanded Betty, bouncing on Santa's lap. "Holy" Santa caught himself just in time as Betty gave his lap the bouncing of its life. "What question honey?" "The naughty or nice question!" Betty said impatiently. "What's wrong with you, Santa?" Santa was breathing the sweet scent of Betty's hair; so had to shake his head to answer the question. "Oh, yes! Naughty or nice. Sorry, my girlfriend; I mean, Mrs. Claus left me for one of the elves." He eased his hand lower until it rested on her full round ass. Man, this chick was all curves! "That's awful, Santa!" said Betty, opening wide her full round lips around the 'aw' in awful. "Yes. I walked in on them," said Santa. "Have you ever seen an elf with a twelve inch dick?" "Not on an elf." Betty shuddered. "But twelve inches is a lot for any gal to take, let me tell you." She blushed, realizing that Santa was studying her closely. "Hmm, So you know exactly how she felt," he said, giving her bottom a squeeze. Betty giggled and wiggled. "So Santa has been all alone since June, and what with my work; I don't get to meet cute little scamps like you, except for around Christmas." "Poor Santa!" cried Betty. "So there's been no one to; relieve all the pressure?" Betty grinned as her hand involuntarily slid over the hump between his legs.. Santa might not be twelve inches, but she was pretty sure he was pushing eight or nine, judging from what a bumpy lap she was sitting on. "Yes, it's just been me and the reindeer," said Santa. "Oh, Santa," Betty said in a shocked voice. "You haven't been using Cupid or Comet that way, have you?" "What way is that?" asked Santa, running his finger down between her soft ass cheeks. "You know." Betty squirmed. "Like when a woman bends over and a man takes his; candy cane and slides it into her stocking." "Oh, reindeer-style," Santa drawled. "No, I've never gotten that desperate." He locked Betty in his gaze. "What about you? Have you been a good girl this year? I hope you haven't been getting your stocking stuffed, too much. Though you're very, very stuff-able." "Well..." Betty looked very guilty. "I've been, pretty good?" "Betty," Santa said sternly. "Remember who you are talking to." Betty tugged at the neck of Santa's sweater. "Well, I honestly didn't know about my mistletoe print dress, until Mr. Stevenson and Mr. Johnson took me into the coat room, and explained," she said in a defensive tone. "It was lucky Mr. Johnson told me to take it off, cause while they were performing the traditional punishment, Mr. Stevenson splattered all over me with his big dick! Santa's eyes widened as he imagined the banging of Betty Boots in the coat closet. His pants were getting tighter and tighter, nuzzling Betty's sexy bottom. "I got pretty tipsy as well," admitted Betty. "But I did a good deed! I gave Tim, the office boy, a hand job cause of his cock cancer." "Cock cancer?" "Yes," said Betty, biting her lip trying to remember. "He was afraid he might have cock cancer, and the only way to know was to; you know, try to cum. But he didn't want to find out all alone. So I;" Betty grinned sheepishly. "I gave him a hand job." "And?" asked Santa, shifting with exquisite discomfort. "Oh, he came really, really well!" Betty giggled. "I decided to really make sure he was A okay, so I sucked on him till he came again." Betty licked her full lips. "He tasted very healthy!" She glanced at Santa nervously. "I like tasting cocks. Is that naughty?" "Ho Ho! No!" Santa bounced Betty on his knee, watching her tits jiggle as her ass pounded his bulge. "Except Santa isn't sure if you're not just a little naughty," he said. "The last time I looked at you closely, was when you were still in high school." He wiggled the end of her button nose. "You were in the shower getting all soapy. My how you've sprouted since then!" "In the shower?" Betty squeaked. "Oh gosh, I wasn't using the shower head was I? You know, the naughty way." When Santa nodded, Betty turned bright red. "But, but I have to, cause if I don't, I just can't concentrate on anything. Even now." Betty was crossing and uncrossing her legs and nuzzling against Santa's broad chest. "There, there," said Santa, giving Betty's bottom a comforting pat. "I know a vigorous girl like you needs to let off steam if she's going to try and be nice." Betty calmed down and rested her head on Santa's shoulder. "I decided I should visit you tonight and have a good look at you, because I know how hard you try to be a good girl," he explained. "Sometimes Santa needs to really examine the borderline naughty girls. Now slip off that nightie and let's get started." Betty's eyes widened, and she sat up straight on Santa's lap. "You want to see me naked?" she asked, her voice a little shocked. "Yes," wheedled Santa. "That way I can be really sure if you are naughty or nice. You want your presents, don't you?" "I do! I do!" exclaimed Betty. "I guess it's okay, since it's you, Santa." Betty amiably reached down and took hold of the hem of her fuzzy red negligee. "Now that's the first sign of a good girl!" Santa helped Betty slip the garment over her head, and had her hold her arms up in the air as he feasted his eyes on Betty's supple body. With her perfect complexion and the lotion she rubbed all over herself, by her open window each night, she was good enough to eat. Santa groaned as his eyes unsuccessfully tried to take in Betty's firm melons. Around each nipple was a large chocolate areola, like the ring around a particularly high scoring bulls-eye. "What's the matter, Santa Claus?" asked Betty, putting her arms around him. "You seemed bothered." "Oh, it's nothing," he said, pulling Betty's warm, curvy body closer. "It is just that Mrs. Claus has nice firm tits like yours. I loved to suck on her nipples. They were so tasty." Santa's voice was heavy with sadness. After a moment of silent considering, Betty spoke up in a kindly voice. "You could suck my nipples, if you'd like. I mean, I know it wouldn't be the same as Mrs. Claus, but maybe it would help." She squirmed with delight. She was proud of her tits and having her nipples sucked made her all squishy. "If you're sure you don't mind," said Santa quickly, taking her knockers in his large hands and gently squeezing them. How plump they were! Betty shook her head, a happy half grin lighting up her face. "Thank you very much." Santa gently took the nearest nipple into his mouth and began to suck. Betty's nipples had hardened at the mere idea of Santa having a go; and each was nearly an inch long. Santa closed his eyes as he began to draw on the tasty teat. Betty moaned and rubbed herself on his lap, pushing her breasts into his face. God, she loved to be sucked! Her pussy was getting drippy with delight. "Oh, Santa!" she gasped. "You're so lumpy! What do you have in your pants?" Betty swiveled so she straddled Santa and could better rub up and down his lap. Her pussy lips had spread apart easily to nestle on the rise of his jeans. "I'm sorry, my breasty beauty," said Santa, nosing his way between Betty's heaving knockers. "It's been so long since I felt the touch of a woman. I've even started letting young women sit on my lap. "In Switzerland this Inga in a Heidi skirt hopped up, popped the buttons on my pants and pulled out my stiff todger. She was a horny girl who loved to bounce up and down." Santa gripped Betty's hips and grinded her as he spoke. "Damned if she didn't wrap her pussy lips right around me! And this was all in a crowded mall. She batted her eyes and waved to her friends. Her cunt muscles rippled up and down me as she asked for a pretty pair of shoes for Christmas. The she leaned in and whispered: "Oh Sinterklaas, I want you to use your big cock to fill up my belly!" Then in a louder voice she said, "Oh yah! Bounce me on your knee, yah!" And she rode my cock, surrounded by my elves, mummies and daddies, their children; and also her lewd little girlfriends, until I erupted into her. The last time I saw her, she indeed did have a big belly, and tits almost as big as these." He squeezed Betty's boobs together and sucked each nipple with a long hard pull at the end. "What a saucy girl! And how selfish not to consider your feelings," said Betty, pulling off Santa's cap and putting it on. "I think it is high time someone be your Santa. Or," she grinned. "Be your Ms. Santa!" She stripped off Santa's sweater and marveled at the sculpted bronze muscles underneath. Playfully, she tugged on his nipples. "What nice buttons you have Santa!" Then she whispered naughty things in his ear. "You want to ride the boobie train, Santa? You want to check out my caboose? I bet you could make me blow the whistle, Santa." "Get some steam going, baby!" He slapped her firm round bottom. "Run to your bedroom and Santa will follow with a big candy cane for his special special girl." So Betty ran, her boobs bouncing, giggling lustily, and Santa followed, dropping his pants and letting his cock wave in the air. Betty tripped on a pair of high-heeled boots and fell face down on her bed, her boobs splayed out on either side of her. Before she could move, Santa caught up, raised her bottom and started sliding his turgid cock between her plump ass cheeks. "Santa!" laughed Betty. "What a naughty boy you are!" "What a wet girl you are!" Santa spread Betty's legs and dipped his fingers into her sodden snatch. "Oh, Santa," groaned Betty. "Just how I like my ho's," chuckled Santa. He withdrew his fingers and gripped his reddened rocket. "Here comes Santa Claus! Right down Betty's cunny lane!" He fed his cock into Betty's pussy, reindeer style. "Oh, Santa!" Betty lost her balance and ended up with her head buried in pillows and stuffed animals. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" moaned Santa, his cock buried in the pussy of this beautiful woman's body. Her round toned ass was up in the air, her boobs rocking with each thrust, her empty head was lost under the pillows. "Mumfer!" Betty tried to say, flailing her arms. "Oh yes! You hot bitch!" cried Santa, battering her bottom with the pent up lust of the last six months. All he wanted was release and the liquid snugness of this beauty's snatch on his red-hot cock. That she was temporarily headless just made him more animal, more Satan than Santa. "Ah, mumph!" went Betty as Santa's dick stretched her wet pussy. She tried to pull her head from the pillows but Santa was ramming her so hard all she could do was be ridden by him like an extremely busty fuck doll. He was fucking her so fast and the air was so hot and close under the pillows, teddy bears, and her tickle-me-Elmo. She felt like the naughtiest fuck doll you might see advertised at the back of a porno rag. He was just using her to sate his big bulging cock. His swelling mushroom head rubbed her walls. She was going to cum, but she felt so dizzy, so light. "Oh, Jesus fucking Christ," grunted Santa, working his dick up into a white foam of her cunt cream. The sucking and slurping noises from Betty's cunt echoed off the wall as her boobs rocked back and forth on the bed. Her head was still out of sight under the bedding. "I'm gonna fill this ass!" Santa declared and slapped a red handprint across it. Then the pussy, for Santa had forgotten poor suffocating Betty, suddenly tightened and he found real resistance and purchase for his cock. The cunt dragged on his dick as he slid out, and was slow to give way as he shoved in. "Oh yes! You wonderful poon tang," he said, digging in with his dick, feeling every inch as he plowed. "That's, That's it," he groaned. And as he plunged deep; the pussy convulsed around him; giving him a series of rapid squeezes. "Hmm, ah." came the muffled cry of orgasm from under the pillows. "Oh, what a fucking tremendous naughty girl!" Santa's cock exploded and shot ropes of cum into Betty's twitching snatch. He held her weighty bottom up, and filled her up like a fuel tank on a big rig. Santa gasped and let Betty's body fall to the bed, his gleaming, still-hard cock, slipping from her pussy. Her snatch twinkled from between her golden ass cheeks. On either side of her small and finely muscled back, her boobs spread out like overfilled water balloons. Her head was still under the pillows and she wasn't moving at all. Was she even breathing? "Betty?" His cock twitched and spurted cum residual over her bottom and the small of her back. Betty didn't move at all. "Oh, fuck!" He grabbed her leg and shook it. Nothing. "Shit," he muttered. "Stealing is one thing. Pretending to be Santa, who cares? But murder!" Santa Claus, a.k.a. Sam Clay; burglar, jumped onto the bed and pulled the pillows and teddy bears from Betty Boots' blonde heat. He flipped her over, her jugs sloshing from side to side until finally coming to a quivering halt. Her eyes were closed and her plump red lips hung open. Sam had been merrily breaking into the less secure apartments of the complex, loading up on Christmas presents when he slipped into Betty's apartment through the unlocked balcony door. Who knew Christmas shopping could be so much horny fun? Or turn so wrong? "Please don't be dead," pleaded Sam. "You're such a fine fuck!" He rested his ear between her tits and held his breath. For a moment he could hear nothing over the pounding of his own heart. But then, then there was a soft and steady echoing in that wonderful chest of hers. He sat back in the bed and sighed with relief. After a moment, Betty stretched without waking up, turned on her side towards Sam; and rested her tousled blonde head on his lap. She smacked her lips and sighed. Sam had been worrying about brain damage. How many brain cells did this girl have to spare? But all worries left his mind when she put her head on his leg. "Hmm! Maybe she needs cock-to-mouth resuscitation!" he said, his dick starting to stiffen. Stroking himself luxuriously, he put his tip up to her mouth. At first she furrowed her brow and refused him, but he persisted, rubbing the tip with its bead of pre-cum over her lips until she licked them. After that she relaxed completely and let him slip his member into her mouth. First his head went in and she was eagerly sucking after a few mewls. "Oh yes, baby," he groaned as her tongue explored his cock-head, lapping the underside. "Santa's got the tasty candy-cane for you." He stroked her head, gently applying pressure on the back of her head, so soon she was bobbing her head up and down on his dick. "What a hungry mouth you have," he moaned as she sucked hungrily on him, her hair tickling his abs and her nipples brushing his thighs. Betty's eyelids fluttered open and then became very wide as she realized that she was orally pleasuring Santa's very big, very bulging dick. "Umm; Hmm! Slurp! Slurp! Oh, Santa Claus, you made me cum so hard I passed out!" Betty wrapped her hands around Sam's cock and pumped him as she talked. "I am sorry Santa, no one has fucked my brains out like that, ever!" "That's okay, Betty," Sam grunted, watching the tip of his dick disappear between Betty's boobs. "Except Santa still has this raging hard-on." "I'm sorry Santa," Betty said, realizing she was covered in a layer of hardening cum. "I'm being so selfish when I'm supposed to be giving." She climbed up Sam's prone body, took hold of his pole and slid her gorgeously tight pussy all the way down him, right to the hilt. She swayed like a bronco rider on top of him, moaning. "Oh Santa, such a big gift on Christmas!" She began to slowly slide herself up and down him. Sam lay back and watched the blonde beauty ride him, groaning as she moaned, squeezing her knockers, and urging her on. "Oh shit! You're going to be at the very top of my nice list for this," he said as she picked up her pace and began to gallop. Her boobs flew high into the air and then dropped onto her chest with fleshy thuds over and over again. Faster and faster she fucked. Her pussy was tingling every nerve of his dick until he could no longer stand it. "Jingle Boobs! Jingle Boobs," he gasped. "Jingle all the... oh god, oh god... Jingle All the Way!" And his cock gunned shot after shot into her snug little snatch. "Oh Santa. Oh Santa! Fill me up with your sticky snow!" Betty rocked her pussy furiously over his dick. "Oh, oh, Santa! Santa! Santa!" She was really loud now. She raised her arms in the air and her eyes rolled back in ecstasy. "Merry Christmas, Santa!" And she came, doing little half jerky gasps over his pulsing dick. "Merry" She bounced. "Christmas" She undulated. "Santa!" She jiggled up and down furiously for a glorious moment, her knockers slapping her chest and then her chin stunningly. Finally she fell beside Sam gasping. At that point Sam thought it was over, but he didn't realize what a trooper Betty Boots was. She slithered down to his lap and slipped his still pulsing dick into her mouth. Slowly and thoroughly she milked the last of his cum and licked his balls clean. Sam looked up to the heavens in bliss. When all of this was finished he looked down. Betty was curled up beside him asleep, a naughty grin on her face. The next morning Betty was delighted to find two presents from Santa under her two-foot plastic tree. Santa must have been a little too happy from Betty boinking because one had a label to Lori and the other one was addressed to Mabel. The Lori present was a tiny white crop top with Pretty ink-stamped across the chest. Betty blushed, thinking of what kind of attention she would get wearing a top better suited to a flat-chested twelve-year-old. The Mabel present was a black three-foot massage wand, but Betty soon found another very naughty use for her present. She was sure Santa would approve. It was the best Christmas ever!  Based on a post by tomthumper, for Literotica.

The cryptid that nobody is talking about! support the show: www.patreon.com/worldaroundewe   Sources: https://www.weirdretro.org.uk/the-mystery-of-the-wold-newton-meteorite.html https://obscurban-legend.fandom.com/wiki/Pennine_Pterodactyl https://www.anniversaryideas.co.uk/year/1964/what-happened-in-1964-uk-icons/?srsltid=AfmBOoqLwc924o4dAVxEgg5f5ds3fvOdFKl08U87Rag0Ws1QTS-1PG8w

Elf on a Shelf: Part 2 Life in hob-along mode. Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. When she woke the next morning, Zach was standing next to the bed with a pain pill and a glass of water. "Terry's gonna be here in about half an hour. I could make you some breakfast?" he said, putting the pill and the water into her hand. Honey shook her head, feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders. "I'd; I'd like to take a shower before I go; if that's okay," she asked. "Right; uh; I'll just set it up for you. I'll get your things together after you're done in there; if you still want to go, that is; Honey closed her eyes and nodded, "Thank you," she whispered, unable to look at the silent pleading in his face. When the shower was ready, Zach carried her down the stairs and set her down in his large walk-in shower on the bathing chair he'd set up for her. "I, uh; I warmed up the water. The; soap and shampoo stuff is right here," he said, gesturing to a collection of bottles put down within her reach. "If you need anything, I'll be right; right here," he said, sitting down on the toilet, looking like he didn't know what to do with his hands. Honey nodded and took off her nightgown and panties, putting them on the floor outside the shower. She leaned down and began unwrapping the velcro the straps on her boot, finding that she couldn't reach the last one. She opened her mouth to ask for help, but Zach was already sliding the door open to undo it for her. When he disassembled the boot around her foot and lifted it away, a slight whimper escaped her when the motion bumped her ankle slightly. Zach's eyes flashed to hers as she tried to cover herself with her arms, "I'm okay," she whispered. Clenching his jaw, Zach nodded, stood and left the stall. The water felt like heaven after the sad sponge baths she had given herself in bed. Her skin came alive in the heat and flushed a deep pink. "Is that too hot? You're getting red," Zach said, standing next to the door looking concerned. "No; it's perfect," she sighed. She twisted around to reach the shampoo and tipped it over, groaning as she watched it roll out of reach. Zach reached into the stall and returned it to her, growling in annoyance as he watched her try to squeeze some out with only one fully functional arm. Soon, he stepped into the shower with her, clad only in his underwear. "I don't know how you think you're going to do this by yourself; he grumbled, glaring at her as he massaged the shampoo into her long hair. "I'll figure it out; put a folding chair in the tub or something," she said, trying not to notice that the fabric of his underwear was leaving nothing to the imagination the wetter it got. "A fucking folding chair will slip. I'll send this one with you. You still can't reach shit, though." "I haven't done this before. I'll get better as I go." "Yeah, but until then, you'll; Look, you need to give me a call when you; so that I know you're okay." "You wouldn't be able to hear me talk; the water makes this growling noise," she said. "Well, why the fu; never mind. You call me before and after. No longer than 10 minutes, or I send Terry." "And he just does whatever you tell him? You're really kinda bossy." "Glad we sorted that out. Put your head back." With a smirk, Honey leaned back, letting him support her with his arm as he rinsed the shampoo out of her hair. After one minute, Zach began swearing under his breath. "I've been rinsing this shit out of your hair forever and there's still more! How the fuck is this possible?" Honey began giggling, despite the pain it caused her shoulder. "I guess you should allow me longer than 10 minutes to shower, then; she murmured. "Ten fucking minutes, or I send Terry." "Do you have any conditioner?" "Any what?" "Never mind," Honey said, trying to control her face. When he finally released her from being rinsed, Honey grabbed the loofa and put some body wash on it, washing what she could reach with her right arm while Zach glared down at her. "Oh, for fuck's sake," he grated, roughly taking the fluffy sponge from her and then washing her with surprising gentleness. When he delicately supported and washed her broken ankle, he waited until he finished before looking up at her, "Remember, doctor says you can take off your boot for a while now and then, so that should help with the smell. I'll pack the extra sock so you can put a clean one on and wash the; well, just how the fuck are you going to do the laundry?" he asked, as if she created the concept of dirty laundry just to bother him. "Hand wash?" she suggested. "That won't work for these boot socks! They smell like gangrene or some shi;" "Well, now you're just flirting; she said, smiling up at him. For a moment Zach's face went completely blank, his eyes slowly traveling down her naked body as his face turned bright red, then he turned away and cursed under his breath again. "Grab onto my arm and I'll finish you up," he said, clenching his jaw and holding out his forearm to her, as he diligently looked away. Cautiously, she took his arm and tried to stand, rising wobbly on her left leg. Before she could gain her balance, her hand slipped on his wet arm and he pulled her tightly against him before she could fall. Body to body, they clung on to each other in the hot spray, each of them shaking. "Honey; you may notta noticed, but I'm hanging on by a fucking thread, here," Zach said quietly in her ear, "Try not to get yourself killed for two seconds." Honey nodded and wrapped her arms around his waist so that he could move his arms again. She felt him move the loofah between her legs and begin washing her private area, looking around the shower stall as he did. When Honey cringed and her breath hissed between her teeth, he stopped, "What's wrong?" he asked, looking down at her face. "It's; rough; she said, quietly. "Yeah, but it was fine when; oh; right; sensitive. Okay; he said, swallowing as he tossed the loofah aside and hesitantly reached his fingers between her legs. Honey leaned her forehead on his chest and closed her eyes, gasping when his fingers made contact. "Is that; is that okay?" he asked. She nodded and tried to move her legs further apart for him. Zach gently washed her, trying to think of sports scores, laxative commercials, or the accounts payable at the club, but inevitably his cock noticed that he was holding the woman of his dreams naked in his arms. When she shifted against him, trying to keep her balance, a breathy grunt escaped him as she inadvertently rubbed against him. "I'm sorry; she whispered, trying to give him more room. "Don't be; you're perfect; it's fine; he said, trying to think about anything but how it would feel to slide his cock between her slippery lips right at that moment. "Let me just get the; water; he gritted, reaching for the shower sprayer and directing it between her legs. Honey gasped and whimpered as the water pulsed against her clit, down her labia and over her anus again and again, feeling Zach's eyes on her as he did it, intensely absorbing her every reaction. She trembled as she held on to him, trying to remain calm. Finally, she raised her eyes up to him and opened her wet lips and whispered, "Zach; ?" "Hey, how do you guys want your eggs?" Terry asked, sticking his head into the bathroom. "Get The Fuck Out Of Here, Maggot!" Zach roared, as Honey squealed and released him, quickly ducking down to where Terry couldn't see her on the shower chair. "Scrambled, it is," Terry said, ducking out of the bathroom and leaving them alone again. Zach watched Honey begin to shiver as the room cooled off and handed her a towel. "Let me know when you're dry and I'll wrap up your leg again," he said, looking around the bathroom uncomfortably before wrapping a towel around his waist and taking off his wet underwear from underneath. After securing her ankle in the air cast, Zach carried her back up to the bedroom, turned his back to her, and blocked Terry's kitchen view of the loft as Honey dressed. When she finished, Zach turned around again, his mouth hardening into a grim line when he saw she had put on her elf dress again. "You're; going, then," he said, frowning as he watched her wince at the pain in her shoulder as she tried to tie the thick red ribbon belt behind her back. He stepped behind her and took the belt out of her hands and began brusquely tying it. "I want you to stay," he said to the back of her head, tugging the loops into a tight knot. Honey hobbled around to face him, "Enough to tell me why you wanted to send that message to someone?" she asked him, her dark blue eyes somber. "You; you wouldn't want to stay if I did," he murmured, stroking the soft velvet covering her arms. "Then, I guess I should go," she said, looking away before she could start crying again. "Wow, nice apartment!" Terry said, following Honey inside her apartment with the bag of her clothes. "The blood stains really bring the room together; "Say what you will, it's all mine," she said, hobbling over to the sofa and curling up, exhausted. "Here's your mail. I gotta text Zach, he's going nuts; well, more than usual, anyway," he said, handing her a stack of envelopes. "Arrived at hellhole; Angel has typhoid; the tweakers give their love; send food stamps," he said aloud, typing into his phone as Honey went through her mail. "Let me go set up the bath chair; just the thing to class up the joint," he said, disappearing to the bathroom. When Terry returned, he found Honey white as a sheet, reading a letter. "Whoa, kid; you okay? Need a pain pill? Let me take you back to Zach's. You look like you really do have typhoid; he said, kneeling down next to her. "Um; yeah, I'm fine," she said faintly, then cleared her throat. "Would; would you mind taking that laptop with you when you go deliver the charity gifts to the firm? They; asked me to send it back; probably upgrading; she said, quickly wiping the tears off her cheeks. Terry watched her for a long moment, his face grim, and don't mention it to Zach?" he finished. "Um; probably not?" Honey choked. "Ah, Honey; you have hospital bills. This is where a sensible person starts telling themself, 'Hey self, maybe I should go back to that really great guy that wants to take care of me," Terry said, closing her laptop and wrapping the power cord around it. "If he's such a great guy, why does he send people messages like this?" she asked, holding up the screenshot to him. After staring at the screen for a while, Terry let out a low whistle, "Now, see, Zach just puts it right out there. You gotta respect that. No wonder he got so much ass. He send this to you?" "He said he meant to send it to someone else, but what are you talking about? He sent this to me on our first date when he went to the restroom! I thought he wanted to kill me!" Terry canted his head and looked at the screenshot again, "Oh; yeah, I could see that. Especially if you got it without the dick pic," he said, nodding sympathetically. "No, see, this was sort of a sex S O S, if you will. A guy goes out with a girl like you, it's like a high-wire act. He gets all wound up, needs to blow off some steam, sends out a flare hoping someone can help him take the edge off things so you don't find out what a high-strung, rough sex freak he is. You're a big deal. He just didn't want to scare you off, Angel," Terry explained. "He; he wanted to go have sex with someone else after our date??" Honey yelled, incensed. "Only because he *liked* you so much!" Terry argued, winsomely. Just then, Honey's phone rang in his hand and he tapped the screen, "Honey's phone!" he answered. "Don't Ever Talk To Me Again!" Honey yelled at her phone when she saw it was Zach's number. "Ah yeah?" Terry said, holding the phone to his ear. "Yeah. Right. Be right over," he said, disconnecting the call and handing the phone back to Honey. "What did he say?" Honey asked, grinding her teeth. Terry leaned over and flipped her phone back to the screenshot that had frightened her so much, "Yeah; pretty much that; just without the sex. See you when I get out of the hospital, kid," he sighed. During the next week, Honey took a bus to the city hall offices and applied for unemployment, used the library computers to send out her resume and read her email, and got no calls whatsoever from Zach. Gatsby's, however, started having trouble with their delivery service and three meals a day were accidentally delivered to her disreputable apartment. When she called Gatsby's about it, she was assured they were working on it and were sure to fix the delivery service problem; as soon as they got a delivery service. The following week, Honey got a knock at her door. Promising herself she would open the door only for the pleasure of slamming it shut in the visitor's stupid, handsome face, Honey hobbled up and looked through the peep hole. It wasn't who she expected, though. "Um, hi; she said, opening the door a bit and tightening her robe. "Hi Honey, I'm Jeff. You probably don't remember;" "I remember you," Honey said, opening the door wider. "Please come in." "Thank you," he said, coming in and standing with his coat over his arm as she hobbled back to the couch. "Jeff, I always wanted to call Gatsby's and thank you; you know, for what you did," Honey said. "For the 'angel shot.' I didn't realize I was on a date with the owner, at the time. I hope it didn't make trouble for you," she said. "You're kidding, right? He fired me on the spot," Jeff laughed. "Oh no; she said, covering her face with her hands. "Oh, I'm so sorry." "No, it's okay. He hired me back as a manager a couple weeks ago. Said anyone who had the balls to do what it took to protect you, even from him, that was someone he wanted taking care of his customers. Actually said that, looking back, if you had been scared enough to ask someone for help back then and they *didn't* help you, well, he'd probably want to go find them and; and; well, the details don't matter, and they're probably illegal, anyway. The point is, we're good." "Oh, that's; that's good to hear. Is this about the delivery service problem, then?" "We don't have a delivery service." "Well, yeah, I know. I mean the meals that Zach is making you send me." "Um; I'm probably going to get my life threatened for telling you this, but we're not sending you meals. Zach's popping in and out with a lot of takeout boxes under his arm, but Gatsby's isn't sending you any meals, Honey. That's; that's all Zach." "Oh; Honey said, her cheeks warming. "Yeah, no I came to ask if you'd be interested in a job." Honey laughed, "I appreciate it, but don't think I'd make much of a waitress right now." "Actually, I kinda had something else in mind; Honey's heart pounded as the music swelled and she felt the platform descend, her legs dangling down clad in candy cane striped stockings and curled-toe shoes. Her dress was the same pink velvet and white fur trim costume as before, but the fabric was far more luscious and expensive than the dress she'd worn in the mall. It had arrived at her door with a seamstress tasked with making it fit flawlessly. Honey's eyes were closed out of habit, getting ready to sing for the clientele of the great room as Gatsby's "Elf on a Shelf." She knew he was out there. He always came out of hiding when she sang. A smile curled across her face as she felt the spotlight warm her body. She opened her eyes. After the show, Honey stripped off her tights and a stage hand gave her the air cast as soon as the platform had risen out of sight. Gingerly, she eased her leg back into the boot and began strapping herself in again. As she reached the last fastener, two large hands took the straps out of hers and began wrapping them expertly. Honey blushed and looked aside as Zach did it, and tried not to roll her eyes when he checked the other two straps to be sure she had secured them properly. His eyes wandered over her with nervous adoration, like he still couldn't quite convince himself she was real; even after the mundane work of feeding her, dressing her, and cleaning her all those days up in his loft. "Did you like the show?" she asked quietly, looking up at him with a small smile. Zach sighed with relief, having received tacit permission to speak to her again. "Yes," he said. "Did you really like it?" she asked, her eyes twinkling, her smile growing bigger. "I really; really liked it," Zach said, nodding and pulling at the collar of the dress shirt that was having trouble containing him. He seemed to have only grown larger in their weeks apart. "So much that you want to go have rough sex with somebody else tonight?" she asked, her large and deceptively innocent, twinkling eyes skewering him. Zach's mouth set, "I; I don't do that anymore. I exercise," he said quietly, reddening and looking away from her. "Oh; I see," Honey said, nodding. Ignoring the hands he offered her, Honey rolled herself onto her good knee and clumsily pushed herself back up into a standing position, her skirt flashing him as she rose. "What the fuck is that?" Zach yelled, pulling her skirt up to where a large purpling bruise was blooming on her hip. Honey bit her lips and forced her face to stop grinning before she turned and faced him again. "What's what?" she asked innocently. "What the hell do you think? That fucking huge purple ass-shiner you're walking around with! Where the fuck did that come from?" he roared. "Oh, that? I slipped. You know, it's icy out there; she said brightly, patting his chest and hobbling past him to her dressing room. Zach clenched his hands and followed her, growling things under his breath that would make a sailor blush. She wobbled into the dressing room, leaving the door open behind her, wondering if he would follow her in. He didn't, but instead stood there in the doorway glowering at her like a gargoyle as she pulled some clothes out of a large Gatsby's takeout bag. Honey's ribs were beginning to hurt from trying not to laugh. Honey breath hissed through her teeth as she reached behind her, fumbling with the knot of her wide red ribbon belt, her shoulder still healing from the dislocation. Before long, she heard muttered curses and large feet stomp into the room and push her hands aside, untying the belt for her. She smiled her thanks up at him over her shoulder, and moved her hair aside so he could help her with the zipper. Carefully, he smoothed some more of her hairs aside and slowly lowered the clasp. "So, um; how would it have worked?" she asked quietly, the softness of her voice making him lean in to hear her. Zach cleared his throat, "How would what have worked?" he asked, his breath falling warm on her neck as he tried to unclasp the tiny hook at top of the dress with his large fingers. "If we'd gotten together that night; if I'd never got that message," she said. Zach closed his eyes and shook his head. "I would've taken you home. Maybe tried for a kiss at your door, if you looked like you wanted it," he said, his voice hoarse. "Cheek or lips?" she asked. He sighed, "Who am I kidding? I would've passed out from not breathing by the time I got that close." "And those; other things; would you have wanted to do those things to me? To hurt me; to scare me?" she asked, her voice shaking. Zach turned her to look her in the eye, and she wrapped her arms around herself, keeping the unzipped, loose elf dress from falling down. "No Honey," he swore, shaking his head emphatically, cupping her face and holding her tightly. "God no. Never. Never ever. I would've never let you see that side of me. I'd give it up. I gave it up. I'd go run ten miles before I even;" his impassioned vows were interrupted by a loud crack as a delicate hand slapped him across the face. "How dare you?" Honey said, trembling with fury before she winced and cradled her hand to her chest as Zach blinked slowly in disbelief, trying to process what had happened. "That's for deciding you'd just have a boring, unsatisfied sex life with me without even asking what I wanted, you; you overbearing ass! That's for offering only a part of yourself to me! That's for ruining our beautiful date because you were ashamed of the man I lo;" Honey's uncharacteristic rage was interrupted by Zach's mouth descending on hers and claiming it furiously, pressing her against the wall as her dress fell to the floor. The kiss ended almost as quickly as it began, and Zach pulled away from her, his face a twitching, terrifying storm as he stared down at her. He wrapped his hand around the slender wrist of her only functional arm and pressed it to the wall over her head. "You don't hit me like that; ever," he said quietly, breathing hard through flared nostrils. Honey trembled, staring up into his blazing eyes almost panting against him in terror; but also in something else. The corner of Zach's mouth curled when he saw her deep blue eyes dilate hugely, a heady, familiar scent rising up between them. "You don't fucking hit anyone like that; goddamn amateur. You wanna break your wrist? Jesus Christ. Get your ass dressed and I'll take you home, you little freak," he growled, turning around to give her privacy and hide the huge smile he couldn't stop from covering his face. When Honey came up panting for air, she was pressed against the wall of Zach's loft as he fumbled with the locks of his door with one hand. She was making good progress at getting his shirt off, but it kept bunching up around his arms, and the cuffs were still a problem she didn't even want to think about. Even so, she was blissfully occupied with the acres of warm bare skin and muscle that she had excavated. "This isn't my home; she said, looking around bewildered, "why does everyone get my address wrong?" "Probably because they've blocked it out after seeing your place. Shut up and tell me what you want," Zach said, carrying her over to the stairs until he saw a bit of her lower lip he needed to bite and had to take a break to do it properly. "Look, don't give me names, because then I'd have to kill 'em, but tell me what makes you hot, Honey; we're gonna do all of it and more. I'm making your dreams come true, tonight," he said, winding his hand in her hair as she dropped her head back to give him her neck. "Oh! Um; I liked it when;" "No names," he reminded her, covering her mouth. "Right; well, this one guy, he um; he wore a towel around his waist and bent over his dresser to look for his underwear? And this other time, he held this spoon out to me and I opened my mouth and he fed me. And; and; um; in the shower, he; he held me against him in the water and;" "Honey, are all these stories gonna be about me?" "Um; yeah?" "That's sweet of you, tryin' to keep me outta jail and all, but I need you to get to the part about cock and pussy. Stories about me aren't gonna help that. Cock, pussy, tongue, ass, tits, ears, neck, taint - what do you like?" he asked "Right; uh; I liked it when you washed me down there; my pussy; with your fingers?" Honey said, at a loss. Zach drew his head back from her neck and looked at her, his face growing uneasy. "Honey?" "And when you sprayed the water back and forth down there, especially the top bump part, that really made me feel amazing, kind of squirmy, you know?" "Oh Jesus; he said, looking as if he'd been hit in the head. "And um; I know I wasn't supposed to look, but your um; you know; p-penis; in the shower, when your underwear got wet? That was" "I don't feel so good; he said, lowering himself to the floor and sitting down on the stairs. "No, no, it's fine. We can do this. What's a taint and what do I do with it?" she asked, sitting down and cuddling up next to him. Zach held his head in his hands, "You're a virgin; not like an "everything but" Evangelical, but like an alien or something. I don't know if I can do this." "Look, I know how to have sex; I had health class, for Pete's sake!" she said, slapping his shoulder. "What the fuck did I just get myself into?" he said through his hands. Honey pulled his hands down from his face and climbed up in his lap, putting his arms around her and looping her arms around his neck. "Zach; I have been a very good girl; not just this year, but for a long, long time. I figure that makes it so I can ask for something really big. So, here's what I want: I want you and me; just being together. Not planned or rehearsed or trying to be impressive. You already impress me. You're the best person I know. You took care of me when you hated me. You took care of me, even when I hated you. I just want to see what it's like if we let go of all that and just; you know; love. Will you give me that for Christmas, Santa? Please?" she asked, leaning in and kissing his cheek softly. "I've; never done that before," he said stiffly, looking sideways at her, unable to turn his head. "I'll be gentle with you," she whispered, smiling and brushing her lips against his. Climbing down from his lap, she took his hand in hers and led him up the stairs; until he lost patience with her hobbling and lifted her in his arms, carrying her to the top. Honey smiled as he gently lowered her feet to the floor, then took his hand and worked on the buttons of his cuff, "You're really big, but you don't do that big guy thing where you act like nothing matters. You notice everything; I like that," she said, glancing up at him. Zach frowned, watching her and then looking around the room, uncomfortable. "That's just; you gotta do that. You can't just throw your weight around without knowing where it's going. You're gonna hurt someone that way," he demurred, unbuttoning the cuff for her and tugging the other loose, as well. "You give a lot, but you're not a show-off about it; you didn't even let me know it wasn't Gatsby's sending food to me," she said, pulling his shirt down off his shoulders, pressing her face into his back to smell him. "You needed protein, calcium, and vitamin D to build those bones again -- that ramen shit you eat wasn't gonna give you enough of anything; just empty carbs and fuckin' sodium," he argued, putting his hands on his hips and scowling at her. Honey smiled and nodded, unbuckling his belt and slowly pulling it out of the loops. Zach swallowed, "You; you also needed vitamins C and K, so I made sure you got things like broccoli and fish and citrus; not; not everybody knows that," he said, drawing a shaky breath. "I didn't know that," she said, separating the hook and eye of his trousers and unzipping them, smiling when he cleared his throat and breathed faster as she lowered them. "You're smart, but you don't need everyone to know about it. You watch how people treat you when they think you're simple, instead; you want to know who they really are." Zach pulled his legs out of his trousers and laid them carefully over the chair, glancing over to the closet where he really wanted to put them instead. Honey smirked and turned to go get a hanger for him, and he swept her down onto the bed instead, going to get the hanger for himself and carefully hanging his pants to avoid any creases. Zach returned to the bed, standing in front of her knees where she sat, waiting. Honey moved her hands curiously over his hips and thighs, feeling the strength, the hours of toil and exertion he put them through; so that he could have control and be gentle when he needed to be. "You care about what I want; she said, swallowing and slowly sliding his underwear down his hips, gasping in surprise when his cock bounced out and waved at her. "You care about it even when you think I'm wrong; and it makes me love you so much; she said, trailing off and blushing. "You; got my clothes off," he said, looking down at her, his face a mix of bewilderment and wonder. "I guess you see all of me, now," he said, blushing for the first time since she'd known him. Smiling, she pulled her dress over her head and tossed it aside. She winced, reaching back trying to un-do her bra, and instead of helping her as usual, Zach narrowed his eyes, tilting his head. "You do that on purpose, don't you? Doing shit that hurts right in front of me instead of asking me for help. Showing off that fucking bruise to me at the club. Showing me what happens when I can't take care of you; you actually get off on driving me crazy," he said in outraged realization. "You really want to do that rough sex stuff on me, now, don't you," Honey said, her eyes alive with mischief. "Like you wouldn't believe; he said, flipping her over, straddling her back and unclasping her bra. Honey squealed and giggled when he laid himself out over her back, careful to avoid her shoulder and ankle. "You feel that cock, all hard and ready on your panties and between your legs down there? You don't get him now, brat," he growled, pushing her hair aside and biting the back of her neck. "Not until you beg me." "Okay! Please?" she asked, giggling. Zach looked over at her, trying to hold a stern face, "Yeah, that's not how this works. The way this works is, I make you want it so much that you think you're going out of your mind, and *then* you beg me." "Okay!" she chirped. "Oh, fucking hell; he grumbled, trying not to laugh. He nipped all over her back, enjoying her squeaks and gasps, wiggling under him as her need grew. She seemed completely unaware of how she was responding to him, but he proudly basked in her every flutter. He kissed down to the small of her back, hearing her breath stop and then resume at a pant when he began to lower her panties. "Zach; Zach; Honey whimpered. "Yes, Honey?" he smiled, kissing the top of the crease of her bottom, flicking it slightly with his tongue. "Does it; does it always go this slow?" she asked, raising her bottom to him and moaning when he slid his fingers through her crack, making her jump and then grab onto his thigh. "Are you in a hurry?" he murmured, stroking his fingers leisurely around her clit and into her vagina, "Some other pressing; engagement?" he asked, pressing his finger against her hymen and laughing evilly at her shocked, yet needful, reaction. "Yeah; it would feel good to have a hot deep cock in there, wouldn't it?" he asked, thrusting gently into her with his finger. "Zach; Honey moaned, squirming under him. "I like that word 'engagement; '" Zach mused idly, "don't you?" he asked, raising one of her knees up to her side, sliding his cock along her crack, wetting it until it glistened in her juices. "Zach, please; please; please; she gasped, feeling him rise up over her again, pressing against her entry, "I need you; she whispered. "I need you, too, Honey. I've needed you for so long; he answered, parting her lips and moving into her with slow, gentle thrusts. Honey trembled under him, holding her breath, feeling him fill her more and more, until with a slight sharp pain, she took him into her. "Oh; oh; oh; oh; she whimpered. "Just breathe, Honey. You're doing great; perfect. I'm not moving till you're ready," Zach said, reaching deep for control. A sheen of sweat broke over him at the sheer effort of holding himself back from plunging furiously into her body again and again and again. "Is; is this the rough sex part?" she breathed, reaching out to touch the hand he was using to keep most of his weight off her. Zach barked out a breathless laugh, clasping her hand in his, "I don't know about you, but this is about as rough as I can take it, tonight. You're fucking killing me, right now. But, being inside you; it's like magic." Honey moved her head and kissed his forearm, "Be inside me again, Zach; she whispered. With a low sigh, he began moving inside her, his hips pressing and rolling against her, his cock stroking a patient rhythm. She sighed with happiness, feeling him explore and claim her at the same time. His lips moved over her neck and back as he leisurely took her, whispering praise and encouragements, waiting for her to adjust to him. Before long, though, his words stopped, his body growing harder around her, his every muscle stiffening as he gripped her hand harder, his thrusts quickening until, with a soft, surprised grunt, he thrust deep and shook as he emptied himself inside her. With explosive breaths, he rolled off her, pulling her against him in the bed. "Well, fuck; he said in disgust between gasps. "Yeah; Honey said, snuggling back against him happily, "that was perfect; Zach snorted, "No it wasn't, you noob. You didn't come. I fucked it up." "What do you mean? What makes you think I didn't come? That felt great! Let's do that all the time," Honey said, turning in his arms so she could smile at him. "I would've felt it if you came, Honey; it gets tight and squeezes you, almost like it's sucking on you; drinking you down; he said, smiling down at her with rueful affection. "Well, I don't know how it's supposed to get any tighter than that was. I think you're expecting too much of me. Maybe I did come; she argued. "Honey, trust me; when I make you come, you'll know about it," he said, reaching down and caressing her clit with his fingers. "Oh, that's nice; you did that in the shower," Honey cooed, moving her boot up over his hips so he could reach her more easily. "I didn't fucking do this to you in the shower. I fucking washed you. I was a fucking gentleman. People cut diamonds with less fucking focus than I had in that fucking shower. I was just taking care of business, then," he grumbled, leaning down to nuzzle her neck. "I guess; I guess, I took advantage of you, then; s-sorry; oh; she said, raising her hips to him as her breathing became irregular, her head tossing from side to side. "Well, unless I'm wrong, you are about to really pay for it in 3, 2, 1" Zach said, when Honey screamed high and long, her hips bucking as she came hard, covering his hand in her sweet nectar and then bursting into tears. Zach held her close as Honey wailed in pain, stroking her body gently, "Yeah; see, that boot can do a lot, but it can't do squat about it when every muscle in your body wants to stiffen up as you come," he said, still soothing her. Honey slapped his shoulder, "That; that was mean! Don't you ever make me come again!" she panted against him, her face still twisted in slowly receding pain. "Uh huh; Zach said, glancing at the alarm clock on his nightstand, "we'll see how long that lasts, you little freak," he said with a smirk, leaning down to kiss her tears away.  To be continued in part 3, Based on a post by Lingering Afterthought, in 3 parts, for Literotica.

Elf on a Shelf: Part 2 Life in hob-along mode. Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. When she woke the next morning, Zach was standing next to the bed with a pain pill and a glass of water. "Terry's gonna be here in about half an hour. I could make you some breakfast?" he said, putting the pill and the water into her hand. Honey shook her head, feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders. "I'd; I'd like to take a shower before I go; if that's okay," she asked. "Right; uh; I'll just set it up for you. I'll get your things together after you're done in there; if you still want to go, that is; Honey closed her eyes and nodded, "Thank you," she whispered, unable to look at the silent pleading in his face. When the shower was ready, Zach carried her down the stairs and set her down in his large walk-in shower on the bathing chair he'd set up for her. "I, uh; I warmed up the water. The; soap and shampoo stuff is right here," he said, gesturing to a collection of bottles put down within her reach. "If you need anything, I'll be right; right here," he said, sitting down on the toilet, looking like he didn't know what to do with his hands. Honey nodded and took off her nightgown and panties, putting them on the floor outside the shower. She leaned down and began unwrapping the velcro the straps on her boot, finding that she couldn't reach the last one. She opened her mouth to ask for help, but Zach was already sliding the door open to undo it for her. When he disassembled the boot around her foot and lifted it away, a slight whimper escaped her when the motion bumped her ankle slightly. Zach's eyes flashed to hers as she tried to cover herself with her arms, "I'm okay," she whispered. Clenching his jaw, Zach nodded, stood and left the stall. The water felt like heaven after the sad sponge baths she had given herself in bed. Her skin came alive in the heat and flushed a deep pink. "Is that too hot? You're getting red," Zach said, standing next to the door looking concerned. "No; it's perfect," she sighed. She twisted around to reach the shampoo and tipped it over, groaning as she watched it roll out of reach. Zach reached into the stall and returned it to her, growling in annoyance as he watched her try to squeeze some out with only one fully functional arm. Soon, he stepped into the shower with her, clad only in his underwear. "I don't know how you think you're going to do this by yourself; he grumbled, glaring at her as he massaged the shampoo into her long hair. "I'll figure it out; put a folding chair in the tub or something," she said, trying not to notice that the fabric of his underwear was leaving nothing to the imagination the wetter it got. "A fucking folding chair will slip. I'll send this one with you. You still can't reach shit, though." "I haven't done this before. I'll get better as I go." "Yeah, but until then, you'll; Look, you need to give me a call when you; so that I know you're okay." "You wouldn't be able to hear me talk; the water makes this growling noise," she said. "Well, why the fu; never mind. You call me before and after. No longer than 10 minutes, or I send Terry." "And he just does whatever you tell him? You're really kinda bossy." "Glad we sorted that out. Put your head back." With a smirk, Honey leaned back, letting him support her with his arm as he rinsed the shampoo out of her hair. After one minute, Zach began swearing under his breath. "I've been rinsing this shit out of your hair forever and there's still more! How the fuck is this possible?" Honey began giggling, despite the pain it caused her shoulder. "I guess you should allow me longer than 10 minutes to shower, then; she murmured. "Ten fucking minutes, or I send Terry." "Do you have any conditioner?" "Any what?" "Never mind," Honey said, trying to control her face. When he finally released her from being rinsed, Honey grabbed the loofa and put some body wash on it, washing what she could reach with her right arm while Zach glared down at her. "Oh, for fuck's sake," he grated, roughly taking the fluffy sponge from her and then washing her with surprising gentleness. When he delicately supported and washed her broken ankle, he waited until he finished before looking up at her, "Remember, doctor says you can take off your boot for a while now and then, so that should help with the smell. I'll pack the extra sock so you can put a clean one on and wash the; well, just how the fuck are you going to do the laundry?" he asked, as if she created the concept of dirty laundry just to bother him. "Hand wash?" she suggested. "That won't work for these boot socks! They smell like gangrene or some shi;" "Well, now you're just flirting; she said, smiling up at him. For a moment Zach's face went completely blank, his eyes slowly traveling down her naked body as his face turned bright red, then he turned away and cursed under his breath again. "Grab onto my arm and I'll finish you up," he said, clenching his jaw and holding out his forearm to her, as he diligently looked away. Cautiously, she took his arm and tried to stand, rising wobbly on her left leg. Before she could gain her balance, her hand slipped on his wet arm and he pulled her tightly against him before she could fall. Body to body, they clung on to each other in the hot spray, each of them shaking. "Honey; you may notta noticed, but I'm hanging on by a fucking thread, here," Zach said quietly in her ear, "Try not to get yourself killed for two seconds." Honey nodded and wrapped her arms around his waist so that he could move his arms again. She felt him move the loofah between her legs and begin washing her private area, looking around the shower stall as he did. When Honey cringed and her breath hissed between her teeth, he stopped, "What's wrong?" he asked, looking down at her face. "It's; rough; she said, quietly. "Yeah, but it was fine when; oh; right; sensitive. Okay; he said, swallowing as he tossed the loofah aside and hesitantly reached his fingers between her legs. Honey leaned her forehead on his chest and closed her eyes, gasping when his fingers made contact. "Is that; is that okay?" he asked. She nodded and tried to move her legs further apart for him. Zach gently washed her, trying to think of sports scores, laxative commercials, or the accounts payable at the club, but inevitably his cock noticed that he was holding the woman of his dreams naked in his arms. When she shifted against him, trying to keep her balance, a breathy grunt escaped him as she inadvertently rubbed against him. "I'm sorry; she whispered, trying to give him more room. "Don't be; you're perfect; it's fine; he said, trying to think about anything but how it would feel to slide his cock between her slippery lips right at that moment. "Let me just get the; water; he gritted, reaching for the shower sprayer and directing it between her legs. Honey gasped and whimpered as the water pulsed against her clit, down her labia and over her anus again and again, feeling Zach's eyes on her as he did it, intensely absorbing her every reaction. She trembled as she held on to him, trying to remain calm. Finally, she raised her eyes up to him and opened her wet lips and whispered, "Zach; ?" "Hey, how do you guys want your eggs?" Terry asked, sticking his head into the bathroom. "Get The Fuck Out Of Here, Maggot!" Zach roared, as Honey squealed and released him, quickly ducking down to where Terry couldn't see her on the shower chair. "Scrambled, it is," Terry said, ducking out of the bathroom and leaving them alone again. Zach watched Honey begin to shiver as the room cooled off and handed her a towel. "Let me know when you're dry and I'll wrap up your leg again," he said, looking around the bathroom uncomfortably before wrapping a towel around his waist and taking off his wet underwear from underneath. After securing her ankle in the air cast, Zach carried her back up to the bedroom, turned his back to her, and blocked Terry's kitchen view of the loft as Honey dressed. When she finished, Zach turned around again, his mouth hardening into a grim line when he saw she had put on her elf dress again. "You're; going, then," he said, frowning as he watched her wince at the pain in her shoulder as she tried to tie the thick red ribbon belt behind her back. He stepped behind her and took the belt out of her hands and began brusquely tying it. "I want you to stay," he said to the back of her head, tugging the loops into a tight knot. Honey hobbled around to face him, "Enough to tell me why you wanted to send that message to someone?" she asked him, her dark blue eyes somber. "You; you wouldn't want to stay if I did," he murmured, stroking the soft velvet covering her arms. "Then, I guess I should go," she said, looking away before she could start crying again. "Wow, nice apartment!" Terry said, following Honey inside her apartment with the bag of her clothes. "The blood stains really bring the room together; "Say what you will, it's all mine," she said, hobbling over to the sofa and curling up, exhausted. "Here's your mail. I gotta text Zach, he's going nuts; well, more than usual, anyway," he said, handing her a stack of envelopes. "Arrived at hellhole; Angel has typhoid; the tweakers give their love; send food stamps," he said aloud, typing into his phone as Honey went through her mail. "Let me go set up the bath chair; just the thing to class up the joint," he said, disappearing to the bathroom. When Terry returned, he found Honey white as a sheet, reading a letter. "Whoa, kid; you okay? Need a pain pill? Let me take you back to Zach's. You look like you really do have typhoid; he said, kneeling down next to her. "Um; yeah, I'm fine," she said faintly, then cleared her throat. "Would; would you mind taking that laptop with you when you go deliver the charity gifts to the firm? They; asked me to send it back; probably upgrading; she said, quickly wiping the tears off her cheeks. Terry watched her for a long moment, his face grim, and don't mention it to Zach?" he finished. "Um; probably not?" Honey choked. "Ah, Honey; you have hospital bills. This is where a sensible person starts telling themself, 'Hey self, maybe I should go back to that really great guy that wants to take care of me," Terry said, closing her laptop and wrapping the power cord around it. "If he's such a great guy, why does he send people messages like this?" she asked, holding up the screenshot to him. After staring at the screen for a while, Terry let out a low whistle, "Now, see, Zach just puts it right out there. You gotta respect that. No wonder he got so much ass. He send this to you?" "He said he meant to send it to someone else, but what are you talking about? He sent this to me on our first date when he went to the restroom! I thought he wanted to kill me!" Terry canted his head and looked at the screenshot again, "Oh; yeah, I could see that. Especially if you got it without the dick pic," he said, nodding sympathetically. "No, see, this was sort of a sex S O S, if you will. A guy goes out with a girl like you, it's like a high-wire act. He gets all wound up, needs to blow off some steam, sends out a flare hoping someone can help him take the edge off things so you don't find out what a high-strung, rough sex freak he is. You're a big deal. He just didn't want to scare you off, Angel," Terry explained. "He; he wanted to go have sex with someone else after our date??" Honey yelled, incensed. "Only because he *liked* you so much!" Terry argued, winsomely. Just then, Honey's phone rang in his hand and he tapped the screen, "Honey's phone!" he answered. "Don't Ever Talk To Me Again!" Honey yelled at her phone when she saw it was Zach's number. "Ah yeah?" Terry said, holding the phone to his ear. "Yeah. Right. Be right over," he said, disconnecting the call and handing the phone back to Honey. "What did he say?" Honey asked, grinding her teeth. Terry leaned over and flipped her phone back to the screenshot that had frightened her so much, "Yeah; pretty much that; just without the sex. See you when I get out of the hospital, kid," he sighed. During the next week, Honey took a bus to the city hall offices and applied for unemployment, used the library computers to send out her resume and read her email, and got no calls whatsoever from Zach. Gatsby's, however, started having trouble with their delivery service and three meals a day were accidentally delivered to her disreputable apartment. When she called Gatsby's about it, she was assured they were working on it and were sure to fix the delivery service problem; as soon as they got a delivery service. The following week, Honey got a knock at her door. Promising herself she would open the door only for the pleasure of slamming it shut in the visitor's stupid, handsome face, Honey hobbled up and looked through the peep hole. It wasn't who she expected, though. "Um, hi; she said, opening the door a bit and tightening her robe. "Hi Honey, I'm Jeff. You probably don't remember;" "I remember you," Honey said, opening the door wider. "Please come in." "Thank you," he said, coming in and standing with his coat over his arm as she hobbled back to the couch. "Jeff, I always wanted to call Gatsby's and thank you; you know, for what you did," Honey said. "For the 'angel shot.' I didn't realize I was on a date with the owner, at the time. I hope it didn't make trouble for you," she said. "You're kidding, right? He fired me on the spot," Jeff laughed. "Oh no; she said, covering her face with her hands. "Oh, I'm so sorry." "No, it's okay. He hired me back as a manager a couple weeks ago. Said anyone who had the balls to do what it took to protect you, even from him, that was someone he wanted taking care of his customers. Actually said that, looking back, if you had been scared enough to ask someone for help back then and they *didn't* help you, well, he'd probably want to go find them and; and; well, the details don't matter, and they're probably illegal, anyway. The point is, we're good." "Oh, that's; that's good to hear. Is this about the delivery service problem, then?" "We don't have a delivery service." "Well, yeah, I know. I mean the meals that Zach is making you send me." "Um; I'm probably going to get my life threatened for telling you this, but we're not sending you meals. Zach's popping in and out with a lot of takeout boxes under his arm, but Gatsby's isn't sending you any meals, Honey. That's; that's all Zach." "Oh; Honey said, her cheeks warming. "Yeah, no I came to ask if you'd be interested in a job." Honey laughed, "I appreciate it, but don't think I'd make much of a waitress right now." "Actually, I kinda had something else in mind; Honey's heart pounded as the music swelled and she felt the platform descend, her legs dangling down clad in candy cane striped stockings and curled-toe shoes. Her dress was the same pink velvet and white fur trim costume as before, but the fabric was far more luscious and expensive than the dress she'd worn in the mall. It had arrived at her door with a seamstress tasked with making it fit flawlessly. Honey's eyes were closed out of habit, getting ready to sing for the clientele of the great room as Gatsby's "Elf on a Shelf." She knew he was out there. He always came out of hiding when she sang. A smile curled across her face as she felt the spotlight warm her body. She opened her eyes. After the show, Honey stripped off her tights and a stage hand gave her the air cast as soon as the platform had risen out of sight. Gingerly, she eased her leg back into the boot and began strapping herself in again. As she reached the last fastener, two large hands took the straps out of hers and began wrapping them expertly. Honey blushed and looked aside as Zach did it, and tried not to roll her eyes when he checked the other two straps to be sure she had secured them properly. His eyes wandered over her with nervous adoration, like he still couldn't quite convince himself she was real; even after the mundane work of feeding her, dressing her, and cleaning her all those days up in his loft. "Did you like the show?" she asked quietly, looking up at him with a small smile. Zach sighed with relief, having received tacit permission to speak to her again. "Yes," he said. "Did you really like it?" she asked, her eyes twinkling, her smile growing bigger. "I really; really liked it," Zach said, nodding and pulling at the collar of the dress shirt that was having trouble containing him. He seemed to have only grown larger in their weeks apart. "So much that you want to go have rough sex with somebody else tonight?" she asked, her large and deceptively innocent, twinkling eyes skewering him. Zach's mouth set, "I; I don't do that anymore. I exercise," he said quietly, reddening and looking away from her. "Oh; I see," Honey said, nodding. Ignoring the hands he offered her, Honey rolled herself onto her good knee and clumsily pushed herself back up into a standing position, her skirt flashing him as she rose. "What the fuck is that?" Zach yelled, pulling her skirt up to where a large purpling bruise was blooming on her hip. Honey bit her lips and forced her face to stop grinning before she turned and faced him again. "What's what?" she asked innocently. "What the hell do you think? That fucking huge purple ass-shiner you're walking around with! Where the fuck did that come from?" he roared. "Oh, that? I slipped. You know, it's icy out there; she said brightly, patting his chest and hobbling past him to her dressing room. Zach clenched his hands and followed her, growling things under his breath that would make a sailor blush. She wobbled into the dressing room, leaving the door open behind her, wondering if he would follow her in. He didn't, but instead stood there in the doorway glowering at her like a gargoyle as she pulled some clothes out of a large Gatsby's takeout bag. Honey's ribs were beginning to hurt from trying not to laugh. Honey breath hissed through her teeth as she reached behind her, fumbling with the knot of her wide red ribbon belt, her shoulder still healing from the dislocation. Before long, she heard muttered curses and large feet stomp into the room and push her hands aside, untying the belt for her. She smiled her thanks up at him over her shoulder, and moved her hair aside so he could help her with the zipper. Carefully, he smoothed some more of her hairs aside and slowly lowered the clasp. "So, um; how would it have worked?" she asked quietly, the softness of her voice making him lean in to hear her. Zach cleared his throat, "How would what have worked?" he asked, his breath falling warm on her neck as he tried to unclasp the tiny hook at top of the dress with his large fingers. "If we'd gotten together that night; if I'd never got that message," she said. Zach closed his eyes and shook his head. "I would've taken you home. Maybe tried for a kiss at your door, if you looked like you wanted it," he said, his voice hoarse. "Cheek or lips?" she asked. He sighed, "Who am I kidding? I would've passed out from not breathing by the time I got that close." "And those; other things; would you have wanted to do those things to me? To hurt me; to scare me?" she asked, her voice shaking. Zach turned her to look her in the eye, and she wrapped her arms around herself, keeping the unzipped, loose elf dress from falling down. "No Honey," he swore, shaking his head emphatically, cupping her face and holding her tightly. "God no. Never. Never ever. I would've never let you see that side of me. I'd give it up. I gave it up. I'd go run ten miles before I even;" his impassioned vows were interrupted by a loud crack as a delicate hand slapped him across the face. "How dare you?" Honey said, trembling with fury before she winced and cradled her hand to her chest as Zach blinked slowly in disbelief, trying to process what had happened. "That's for deciding you'd just have a boring, unsatisfied sex life with me without even asking what I wanted, you; you overbearing ass! That's for offering only a part of yourself to me! That's for ruining our beautiful date because you were ashamed of the man I lo;" Honey's uncharacteristic rage was interrupted by Zach's mouth descending on hers and claiming it furiously, pressing her against the wall as her dress fell to the floor. The kiss ended almost as quickly as it began, and Zach pulled away from her, his face a twitching, terrifying storm as he stared down at her. He wrapped his hand around the slender wrist of her only functional arm and pressed it to the wall over her head. "You don't hit me like that; ever," he said quietly, breathing hard through flared nostrils. Honey trembled, staring up into his blazing eyes almost panting against him in terror; but also in something else. The corner of Zach's mouth curled when he saw her deep blue eyes dilate hugely, a heady, familiar scent rising up between them. "You don't fucking hit anyone like that; goddamn amateur. You wanna break your wrist? Jesus Christ. Get your ass dressed and I'll take you home, you little freak," he growled, turning around to give her privacy and hide the huge smile he couldn't stop from covering his face. When Honey came up panting for air, she was pressed against the wall of Zach's loft as he fumbled with the locks of his door with one hand. She was making good progress at getting his shirt off, but it kept bunching up around his arms, and the cuffs were still a problem she didn't even want to think about. Even so, she was blissfully occupied with the acres of warm bare skin and muscle that she had excavated. "This isn't my home; she said, looking around bewildered, "why does everyone get my address wrong?" "Probably because they've blocked it out after seeing your place. Shut up and tell me what you want," Zach said, carrying her over to the stairs until he saw a bit of her lower lip he needed to bite and had to take a break to do it properly. "Look, don't give me names, because then I'd have to kill 'em, but tell me what makes you hot, Honey; we're gonna do all of it and more. I'm making your dreams come true, tonight," he said, winding his hand in her hair as she dropped her head back to give him her neck. "Oh! Um; I liked it when;" "No names," he reminded her, covering her mouth. "Right; well, this one guy, he um; he wore a towel around his waist and bent over his dresser to look for his underwear? And this other time, he held this spoon out to me and I opened my mouth and he fed me. And; and; um; in the shower, he; he held me against him in the water and;" "Honey, are all these stories gonna be about me?" "Um; yeah?" "That's sweet of you, tryin' to keep me outta jail and all, but I need you to get to the part about cock and pussy. Stories about me aren't gonna help that. Cock, pussy, tongue, ass, tits, ears, neck, taint - what do you like?" he asked "Right; uh; I liked it when you washed me down there; my pussy; with your fingers?" Honey said, at a loss. Zach drew his head back from her neck and looked at her, his face growing uneasy. "Honey?" "And when you sprayed the water back and forth down there, especially the top bump part, that really made me feel amazing, kind of squirmy, you know?" "Oh Jesus; he said, looking as if he'd been hit in the head. "And um; I know I wasn't supposed to look, but your um; you know; p-penis; in the shower, when your underwear got wet? That was" "I don't feel so good; he said, lowering himself to the floor and sitting down on the stairs. "No, no, it's fine. We can do this. What's a taint and what do I do with it?" she asked, sitting down and cuddling up next to him. Zach held his head in his hands, "You're a virgin; not like an "everything but" Evangelical, but like an alien or something. I don't know if I can do this." "Look, I know how to have sex; I had health class, for Pete's sake!" she said, slapping his shoulder. "What the fuck did I just get myself into?" he said through his hands. Honey pulled his hands down from his face and climbed up in his lap, putting his arms around her and looping her arms around his neck. "Zach; I have been a very good girl; not just this year, but for a long, long time. I figure that makes it so I can ask for something really big. So, here's what I want: I want you and me; just being together. Not planned or rehearsed or trying to be impressive. You already impress me. You're the best person I know. You took care of me when you hated me. You took care of me, even when I hated you. I just want to see what it's like if we let go of all that and just; you know; love. Will you give me that for Christmas, Santa? Please?" she asked, leaning in and kissing his cheek softly. "I've; never done that before," he said stiffly, looking sideways at her, unable to turn his head. "I'll be gentle with you," she whispered, smiling and brushing her lips against his. Climbing down from his lap, she took his hand in hers and led him up the stairs; until he lost patience with her hobbling and lifted her in his arms, carrying her to the top. Honey smiled as he gently lowered her feet to the floor, then took his hand and worked on the buttons of his cuff, "You're really big, but you don't do that big guy thing where you act like nothing matters. You notice everything; I like that," she said, glancing up at him. Zach frowned, watching her and then looking around the room, uncomfortable. "That's just; you gotta do that. You can't just throw your weight around without knowing where it's going. You're gonna hurt someone that way," he demurred, unbuttoning the cuff for her and tugging the other loose, as well. "You give a lot, but you're not a show-off about it; you didn't even let me know it wasn't Gatsby's sending food to me," she said, pulling his shirt down off his shoulders, pressing her face into his back to smell him. "You needed protein, calcium, and vitamin D to build those bones again -- that ramen shit you eat wasn't gonna give you enough of anything; just empty carbs and fuckin' sodium," he argued, putting his hands on his hips and scowling at her. Honey smiled and nodded, unbuckling his belt and slowly pulling it out of the loops. Zach swallowed, "You; you also needed vitamins C and K, so I made sure you got things like broccoli and fish and citrus; not; not everybody knows that," he said, drawing a shaky breath. "I didn't know that," she said, separating the hook and eye of his trousers and unzipping them, smiling when he cleared his throat and breathed faster as she lowered them. "You're smart, but you don't need everyone to know about it. You watch how people treat you when they think you're simple, instead; you want to know who they really are." Zach pulled his legs out of his trousers and laid them carefully over the chair, glancing over to the closet where he really wanted to put them instead. Honey smirked and turned to go get a hanger for him, and he swept her down onto the bed instead, going to get the hanger for himself and carefully hanging his pants to avoid any creases. Zach returned to the bed, standing in front of her knees where she sat, waiting. Honey moved her hands curiously over his hips and thighs, feeling the strength, the hours of toil and exertion he put them through; so that he could have control and be gentle when he needed to be. "You care about what I want; she said, swallowing and slowly sliding his underwear down his hips, gasping in surprise when his cock bounced out and waved at her. "You care about it even when you think I'm wrong; and it makes me love you so much; she said, trailing off and blushing. "You; got my clothes off," he said, looking down at her, his face a mix of bewilderment and wonder. "I guess you see all of me, now," he said, blushing for the first time since she'd known him. Smiling, she pulled her dress over her head and tossed it aside. She winced, reaching back trying to un-do her bra, and instead of helping her as usual, Zach narrowed his eyes, tilting his head. "You do that on purpose, don't you? Doing shit that hurts right in front of me instead of asking me for help. Showing off that fucking bruise to me at the club. Showing me what happens when I can't take care of you; you actually get off on driving me crazy," he said in outraged realization. "You really want to do that rough sex stuff on me, now, don't you," Honey said, her eyes alive with mischief. "Like you wouldn't believe; he said, flipping her over, straddling her back and unclasping her bra. Honey squealed and giggled when he laid himself out over her back, careful to avoid her shoulder and ankle. "You feel that cock, all hard and ready on your panties and between your legs down there? You don't get him now, brat," he growled, pushing her hair aside and biting the back of her neck. "Not until you beg me." "Okay! Please?" she asked, giggling. Zach looked over at her, trying to hold a stern face, "Yeah, that's not how this works. The way this works is, I make you want it so much that you think you're going out of your mind, and *then* you beg me." "Okay!" she chirped. "Oh, fucking hell; he grumbled, trying not to laugh. He nipped all over her back, enjoying her squeaks and gasps, wiggling under him as her need grew. She seemed completely unaware of how she was responding to him, but he proudly basked in her every flutter. He kissed down to the small of her back, hearing her breath stop and then resume at a pant when he began to lower her panties. "Zach; Zach; Honey whimpered. "Yes, Honey?" he smiled, kissing the top of the crease of her bottom, flicking it slightly with his tongue. "Does it; does it always go this slow?" she asked, raising her bottom to him and moaning when he slid his fingers through her crack, making her jump and then grab onto his thigh. "Are you in a hurry?" he murmured, stroking his fingers leisurely around her clit and into her vagina, "Some other pressing; engagement?" he asked, pressing his finger against her hymen and laughing evilly at her shocked, yet needful, reaction. "Yeah; it would feel good to have a hot deep cock in there, wouldn't it?" he asked, thrusting gently into her with his finger. "Zach; Honey moaned, squirming under him. "I like that word 'engagement; '" Zach mused idly, "don't you?" he asked, raising one of her knees up to her side, sliding his cock along her crack, wetting it until it glistened in her juices. "Zach, please; please; please; she gasped, feeling him rise up over her again, pressing against her entry, "I need you; she whispered. "I need you, too, Honey. I've needed you for so long; he answered, parting her lips and moving into her with slow, gentle thrusts. Honey trembled under him, holding her breath, feeling him fill her more and more, until with a slight sharp pain, she took him into her. "Oh; oh; oh; oh; she whimpered. "Just breathe, Honey. You're doing great; perfect. I'm not moving till you're ready," Zach said, reaching deep for control. A sheen of sweat broke over him at the sheer effort of holding himself back from plunging furiously into her body again and again and again. "Is; is this the rough sex part?" she breathed, reaching out to touch the hand he was using to keep most of his weight off her. Zach barked out a breathless laugh, clasping her hand in his, "I don't know about you, but this is about as rough as I can take it, tonight. You're fucking killing me, right now. But, being inside you; it's like magic." Honey moved her head and kissed his forearm, "Be inside me again, Zach; she whispered. With a low sigh, he began moving inside her, his hips pressing and rolling against her, his cock stroking a patient rhythm. She sighed with happiness, feeling him explore and claim her at the same time. His lips moved over her neck and back as he leisurely took her, whispering praise and encouragements, waiting for her to adjust to him. Before long, though, his words stopped, his body growing harder around her, his every muscle stiffening as he gripped her hand harder, his thrusts quickening until, with a soft, surprised grunt, he thrust deep and shook as he emptied himself inside her. With explosive breaths, he rolled off her, pulling her against him in the bed. "Well, fuck; he said in disgust between gasps. "Yeah; Honey said, snuggling back against him happily, "that was perfect; Zach snorted, "No it wasn't, you noob. You didn't come. I fucked it up." "What do you mean? What makes you think I didn't come? That felt great! Let's do that all the time," Honey said, turning in his arms so she could smile at him. "I would've felt it if you came, Honey; it gets tight and squeezes you, almost like it's sucking on you; drinking you down; he said, smiling down at her with rueful affection. "Well, I don't know how it's supposed to get any tighter than that was. I think you're expecting too much of me. Maybe I did come; she argued. "Honey, trust me; when I make you come, you'll know about it," he said, reaching down and caressing her clit with his fingers. "Oh, that's nice; you did that in the shower," Honey cooed, moving her boot up over his hips so he could reach her more easily. "I didn't fucking do this to you in the shower. I fucking washed you. I was a fucking gentleman. People cut diamonds with less fucking focus than I had in that fucking shower. I was just taking care of business, then," he grumbled, leaning down to nuzzle her neck. "I guess; I guess, I took advantage of you, then; s-sorry; oh; she said, raising her hips to him as her breathing became irregular, her head tossing from side to side. "Well, unless I'm wrong, you are about to really pay for it in 3, 2, 1" Zach said, when Honey screamed high and long, her hips bucking as she came hard, covering his hand in her sweet nectar and then bursting into tears. Zach held her close as Honey wailed in pain, stroking her body gently, "Yeah; see, that boot can do a lot, but it can't do squat about it when every muscle in your body wants to stiffen up as you come," he said, still soothing her. Honey slapped his shoulder, "That; that was mean! Don't you ever make me come again!" she panted against him, her face still twisted in slowly receding pain. "Uh huh; Zach said, glancing at the alarm clock on his nightstand, "we'll see how long that lasts, you little freak," he said with a smirk, leaning down to kiss her tears away.  To be continued in part 3, Based on a post by Lingering Afterthought, in 3 parts, for Literotica.

Hoy, un bosque habitado, ilustrado, empujado, bienaventurado, iluminado, y enriquecido necesariamente por nuestras científic@s más conmovid@s. Hoy con nosotras, portavoces de Rebelión Científica, también de Xtincion Rebelion, Fernando Valladares, Joaquín Araújo y Caliza, es decir, Elisa Pérez, quizá la artista musical por la que habla, canta y vibra más el planeta…Nos reunimos para debatir sobre el estado actual del planeta, los límites planetarios, los tipping points, la urgencia del cambio, las implicaciones geopolíticas de la victoria de Trump, la ciencia climática, la transición ecosocial, la responsabilidad individual y la colectiva. Temores e ilusiones. Frustraciones y esperanzas. Todo ello amparado por la doctrina del bien común y el activismo no lucrativo que busca el bienestar de todas las comunidades vivas. Es el parlamento del sentido común y de la ciencia.Para ello contamos con Alberto Coronel, Fernando Prieto, Aura Peralta, Jade de Cock, Cristina Rivera, Paula Ortega, Joaquín Araújo y Joaquín Araújo. Y con la artista Caliza, es decir, Elisa Pérez cantante, compositora y activista que aborda en su trabajo musical la crisis climática y la voluntad de supervivencia. Nos inspiran Ignacio Abella, Fernando Valladares, Vandana Shiva y las científicas de Rebelión Científica para crear los textos sonoros que completan este encuentro de reflexión y clarividencia ecosocial en consonancia con la realidad climática. Club de la Hojarasca: Álvaro Soto, José Manuel Sebastián, Marta Iraeta, Santiago Bustamante y Juan Ballesteros. Justicia y Belleza. Y como maestros del sonido Daniel Muñoz e Hilario Castiella.Vamos a situarnos, con palabras de uno de nuestros invitados: “Hemos sido nosotr@s quienes impulsamos el cambio climático, la pérdida de biodiversidad y la contaminación de la tierra, el mar y el aire. Hemos sido nosotros quienes aceptamos un norte global rico y un sur global pobre, y hemos sido nosotros los que hemos decidido que el crecimiento continuo y la acumulación de riqueza material debían regir nuestras vidas. Así que somos nosotros quienes podemos arreglar ahora este tremendo enredo”. Así que entra despacio pero con energía en esta rebelión científica, necesaria, empática, mutualista, ineludible, salvadora que habita hoy nuestro territorio de Justicia y Belleza que es tu Territorio Conmovido… ¡Arriba las ramas!HT: #ParlamentoCiudadanoRadio3Escuchar audio

MISTRESS MIA COMES TO THE MIC TO TALK ABOUT SOME HOT DETAILS OF GLORY HOLES AND SUCKING COCK.. ARE YOU A GOOD COCK SUCKING SLUT OR CUCK?

Back in 2018, when this podcast was in its first year, I traveled to Burlington, NC, to interview the Charlotte by way of Elkin, NC band Time Sawyer. Since then, my path has intersected with Sam Tayloe and his band Time Sawyer many times, ranging from seeing them perform more shows and festivals, to emceeing for the Reevestock Festival in Sam's hometown of Elkin. Time never stands still, even for (especially?) the band Time Sawyer. Reevestock took a final bow in 2024; the band changed out guitarists and said goodbye to their banjo player and founding member; the city of Elkin went forward with Sam's help to expand the concept and footprint of Reevestock with this year's inaugural Milltown Get Down festival. There was a lot of ground to cover since I last spoke with him, so I took a sojourn to Charlotte to catch up with Sam Tayloe at his home. We had an in-depth conversation about producing festivals, his passion for community and building bridges, the evolution of Time Sawyer, and more, including music from the band's new live album. This episode stands out for all that and for the fact that it is hosted and produced by Molly Mattox, a student at Isothermal Community College in Spindale, NC. Molly took my class on media performance, which includes a podcast assignment. She chose this interview for her podcast, and did a great job. It is not easy to produce an episode of this podcast, even for me, but she grasped the concept, spirit, and tone of the series in — pardon the pun — no time. Photos by Daniel Coston Photography Songs heard in this episode:"Julie” by Time Sawyer, from Plumb Live at the Cock and Bull“The Boxer” by Time Sawyer, from Plumb Live at the Cock and Bull, excerpt“210 (It's Over)” by Time Sawyer, from Plumb Live at the Cock and Bull, excerpt“Noah Got Nothing” by Time Sawyer, from Plumb Live at the Cock and Bull, excerpt“Oak and Pine” by Time Sawyer, from Plumb Live at the Cock and Bull We are glad you are here! Could you can help spread awareness of what we are doing? It is as easy as telling a friend and following this podcast on your platform of choice. You can find us on Apple here, Spotify here and YouTube here — hundreds more episodes await, filled with artists you may know by name, or musicians and bands that are ready to become your next favorites.You can follow us on social media: @southstories on Instagram, at Southern Songs and Stories on Facebook, and now on Substack here, where you can read the scripts of these podcasts, and get updates on what we are doing and planning in our quest to explore and celebrate the unfolding history and culture of music rooted in the American South, and going beyond to the styles and artists that it inspired and informed. - Joe Kendrick

This week Elle and Vee discuss all the ways they've been exploring pleasure recently: including BDSM scenes with vibrators, flogging and five orgasms, achieving sub space, mushroom-fueled connection, cervical orgasms while pregnant, knife play, cock warming, and that very specific moment when you yawn on a dick and keep going anyway. Halloween Night BDSM Scene Gone Wrong: Vee and Mister A are stranded in a spooky AirBnB. (1:37)Pain/Pleasure Cycling: Vee has five orgasms during a BDSM scene with Mister A. (4:32)Sub Space: Vee finds surrender when she wears her collar. The difference between letting go and being objectified. (12:00) Psylocybin Sex: connective sex. (17:08)Cervical Orgasms and Third Trimester Sex: Elle stimulates her cervix, gets juicy and talks about which positions she can and can't do while she's super pregnant. (18:44)Hotel Ambience Hacks: How to set the mood and get the right mood lighting in your hotel room. (26:32)Knife Play Bondage Scene: Mister A uses bondage tape, a knife and a wand on Vee. The surprising upside to having an STI. (28:50)Knife Play with Strangers at the Nude Beach: Elle talks about the time she let a guy on a nude beach pretend to shave her pussy with a knife. (38:32) Cock Warming: WTF is cock warming? What's the point? (42:53)Gentle Face Fucking and Yawning During Blow Jobs: a gentler version of face fucking, and yawning due to air hunger during head. (45:22)Where to Find Us & How to Support the Show:

Are the Government's proposals radically to reduce a citizen's right to trial by jury a “swift and fair plan to get justice for victims”, as the MoJ press release declared on 2nd December, or a poorly conceived, confused and untested set of measures which will have no real impact on the Crown Court backlog or the general, long term crisis that afflicts our once admired criminal justice system?    What is the explanation for the significant difference between the leaked Lammy memorandum - which revealed a plan to eliminate trial by jury in all cases apart from murder, manslaughter, rape, or other offences meeting a public-interest threshold - and the formal announcement a week later?Cock-up or a deliberate plan designed to smooth the way for the actual proposals?  And will Labour backbenchers rebel in sufficient numbers to defeat the reform plans. To answer these and other questions generated by the furore over the Lammy proposals, Ken Macdonald KC and Tim Owen KC are joined by the current and past Chairs of the Criminal Bar Association, Riel Karmy-Jones KC and Chris Henley KC.   Riel and Chris attack the proposals on the basis that neither the Leveson Report nor the Ministry of Justice have conducted any modelling capable of showing that slashing the right to jury trial will succeed in clearing the backlog, given the multiple other causes of delays in the criminal justice system, both at the pre-charge and post-charge phases. They also address the fact that jury trial is not in truth a “constitutional” right or one guaranteed by the ECHR and they challenge comparisons with Canada and New Zealand which have judge alone trials in serious cases without it being suggested that fair trials are incapable of being delivered. For a further piece by retired Judge Geoffrey Rivlin KC attacking the Lammy and Leveson proposals see this - https://redlionchambers.substack.com/p/juries-and-judges-the-right-to-choose?utm_source=substack&utm_campaign=posts-open-in-app&utm_medium=email&r=4n6tab&triedRedirect=true --    Covering the critical intersections of politics and law in the UK with expert commentary on high-profile legal cases, political controversies, prisons and sentencing, human rights law, current political events and the shifting landscape of justice and democracy. With in-depth discussions and influential guests, Double Jeopardy is the podcast that uncovers the forces shaping Britain's legal and political future.    What happens when politics and law collide? How do politics shape the law - and when does the law push back? What happens when judicial independence is tested, human rights come under attack, or freedom of expression is challenged? And who really holds power in Britain's legal and political system?  Get answers to questions like these weekly on Wednesdays.   Double Jeopardy is presented by Ken Macdonald KC, former Director of Public Prosecutions, and Tim Owen KC, as they break down the legal and political issues in Britain. From high-profile legal cases to the evolving state of British democracy, Double Jeopardy offers expert legal commentary on the most pressing topics in UK law, politics, and human rights.    Ken Macdonald KC served as Director of Public Prosecutions from 2003-2008, shaping modern prosecutorial policy and advocating for the rule of law. He is a former Warden of Wadham College, Oxford, a crossbench member of the House of Lords, and a leading writer, commentator and broadcaster on politics and the rule of law.  Tim Owen KC has been involved in many of the most significant public, criminal and human rights law cases over the past four decades.  Both bring unparalleled experience from the frontline of Britain's legal and political landscape.    If you like The Rest Is Politics, Talking Politics, Law Pod UK and Today in Focus, you'll love Double Jeopardy.

Today's Advent Calendar pour takes us back to Bourbon heritage — Chicken Cock Kentucky Straight Bourbon. Once a Prohibition-era staple served in speakeasies, Chicken Cock has been resurrected and is now gaining momentum with collectors, bourbon enthusiasts, and whiskey fans who love American spirit history.In this video we give Chicken Cock our full Buffalo Happy Hour breakdown: nose, initial taste, ending notes, would we keep it in our collection, and our final rating. We discuss the unique history behind the Chicken Cock brand, the revival of its recipe, and how it compares to modern Kentucky bourbons in today's crowded market.If you're searching for bourbon recommendations, whiskey reviews, or educational content that helps you understand the whiskey in your glass, this episode delivers. We continue our Flaviar Advent Calendar challenge — one whiskey every single day until Christmas — covering everything from independent American distillers to international scotch powerhouses.

Cock-a-doodle-don't.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On Today’s Show: On Today's Show Cyber Monday Sideshow Deals & Support Listener Interaction 00:00:00  The DV Store: shop.distortedview.com 00:29:13  Introduction 01:57:00  Pooping Out A Fererro Rocher Chocolate Ball 03:00:22  MAGA Republic Penis Trainer 05:57:08  Showing Off STD’s On You Livestream 19:13:05  How Not To Pickup Women 24:06:09  Allergic To Virtual Reality Food 29:32:03  Cyber […] The post Cam Girl STD Confessions, Human Washing Machines & MAGA Cock Trainers first appeared on Distorted View Daily.

Stop saying 6 7 or your getting a ticket, cock fights and green drugs, we are talking about all of it, and Roy P on a date with toothless Tonya, strap in for the ride. Get you Motorcop MErch CLICK HERE Join Pateron and get extra episodes CLICK HERE Want to share a story or be a guest email me at motorcopchronicles@gmail.com Check out the web page www.motorcopchronicels.com BE THE LION !!

Magenta & Bernard's weekly dose of absinthe-soaked, slow burn esoteric ramblings. Haunted phones! Typography jokes! Dropping a social hand grenade at your office Christmas party! All this and more. On Wednesday 26th November at 8pm UK time (3pm ET) - tune into the MOCKERY MANOR S1E1 Live Listening Party! Watch on YouTube here And you can still donate to this week's charity, International Rescue Committee, by visiting the GoFundMe page here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Simon Liell – Cock, Simons Town ward councillor speaks to John Maytham about firefighting efforts in the area. Presenter John Maytham is an actor and author-turned-talk radio veteran and seasoned journalist. His show serves a round-up of local and international news coupled with the latest in business, sport, traffic and weather. The host’s eclectic interests mean the program often surprises the audience with intriguing book reviews and inspiring interviews profiling artists. A daily highlight is Rapid Fire, just after 5:30pm. CapeTalk fans call in, to stump the presenter with their general knowledge questions. Another firm favourite is the humorous Thursday crossing with award-winning journalist Rebecca Davis, called “Plan B”. Thank you for listening to a podcast from Afternoon Drive with John Maytham Listen live on Primedia+ weekdays from 15:00 and 18:00 (SA Time) to Afternoon Drive with John Maytham broadcast on CapeTalk https://buff.ly/NnFM3Nk For more from the show go to https://buff.ly/BSFy4Cn or find all the catch-up podcasts here https://buff.ly/n8nWt4x Subscribe to the CapeTalk Daily and Weekly Newsletters https://buff.ly/sbvVZD5 Follow us on social media: CapeTalk on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CapeTalk CapeTalk on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@capetalk CapeTalk on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ CapeTalk on X: https://x.com/CapeTalk CapeTalk on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CapeTalk567 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Baantjer 98. Rechercheur De Cock is verbijsterd als hij hoort dat de Sint is omgebracht in een warenhuis op de Dam. Vanaf bureau Warmoesstraat gaan Vledder en hij te voet op onderzoek uit. Uitgegeven door Uitgeverij De Fontein Spreker: Peter Römer

We get into some deep shit this morning man, what do you want to come back to? Headlines Sports

Molly & Jeff & Super Producer Matt Cole embarrass the fuck out of each other and cause mass chaos in the streets and in the sheets! Send in your ANONYMOUS embarrassing stories that we will read ON AIR here: https://forms.gle/kvjVvNBjdX1yiKxF7 Help support us and become one of Mommy's Little Worms: patreon.com/HowEmbarrassing Official site: HowEmbarrassingPodcast.com iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-embarrassing-podcast-with-molly-jeff/id1476548191 Facebook: fb.me/HowEmbarrassingPodcast Instagram: @HowEmbarrassingPodcast Twitter: @EmbarrassingPod E-mail us: HowEmbarrassingPodcast@gmail.com Graphics by Jeff Beaulieu ( @jtb757 ) Music by Jeff Beaulieu ( @jtb757 ) Produced by Matt Cole of Go On Productions ( facebook.com/GoOnPodcasts ) Special thanks to Commonwealth Comedy Network, Push Comedy Theater, Norfolk, VA & Brian Garraty

Dr. Elliot called in to talk all about penis pumps, tech cock rings, nocturnal erections and a whole lot more. Tune in to hear all the details including how and why a man's nocturnal erections are a leading indicator of cardiovascular disease, why blood-flow data is key to men's sexual health, why just taking a “pill” isn't enough,  how and why he's now selling a penis pump along with his tech cock ring, the study that showed what a penis pump can actually do for erections, the study comparing his cock ring to Cialis and Viagra and what the results showed, the hundreds of thousands of erections he's tracked with his cock ring and how it's helped men who use it, what the pump he's selling can and will do, the supplement he recommends that helps with blood flow, the different types of cock rings he sells and what they all do, the Ring Mate add-on that can pleasure your wife while you're wearing it, the reviews he gets from not just patients but docs as well, how nocturnal erections tie into testosterone levels, plus a whole lot more. To see HOT pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord!  MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: ⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠⁠⁠  To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712⁠⁠⁠ or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712  Want to be on the show? Email me at ⁠⁠⁠strictlyanonymouspodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠ or go to ⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com⁠⁠⁠ and click on "Be on the Show." Want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. All voices are changed.  Sponsors:⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://butterwellness.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Use the code STRICTLY at checkout for 30% OFF your entire order⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://bluechew.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Get your first month of the new Bluechew Max FREE! Use code: STRICTLYANON⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://brooklynbedding.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ — Use my promo code STRICTLY at checkout to get 30% off sitewide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠https://www.quince.com/strictlyanon⁠⁠⁠ — For premium quality Quince clothing plus FREE shipping and 365 day returns! ⁠⁠⁠https://beducate.me/pd2536-anonymous⁠⁠⁠ — Use code ANONYMOUS69 to get 50% off your yearly pass plus a 14-day money-back guarantee⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠http://loadboost.com⁠⁠⁠ — To get 10% off LOAD Boost by VB Health use code: STRICTLY ⁠https://uberlube.com/discount/Strictly⁠⁠⁠ — Use code STRICTLY for 10% off Uberlube aka the BEST Lube EVER⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠https://shamelesscare.sjv.io/xLQ3Jv⁠⁠⁠ — To get $15 OFF your oxytocin products, STI panels and more, use code STRICTLY  Follow me! Instagram  ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/⁠⁠⁠ X ⁠⁠https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en⁠⁠⁠ Website  ⁠⁠⁠http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/⁠⁠ Everything else: ⁠https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week the boys sit down and talk about: The Mountain, Matt Rife, Adam Ray, Baseball, New Car, Malibu, Warrior RIP, Brain Bleed, Ball X Pit, Night of Living of the Dead, Sinner, Bat pine, Price is right, and much much more.

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Send us a textEp 690: MFF Waking to His Alarm Cock, The Bed Scene, written by podcast host, and author, Ruan Willow, narrated by Ruan Willow and Motorboatin' Matt, an erotica excerpt from a hot short story.Waking to His Alarm Cock, A FFM Erotic Story. One night, Zane, his high school sweetheart Maria, and Lissa fall into bed together and fall asleep after hot threesome sex. That event launched them into a sexy triad and no one wants it to end. In fact, they wanted it to strengthen. The problem is, they'd need to hide their relationship from their daughter and the elementary school because Lissa is a kindergarten teacher there, and their daughter's teacher. They wake up when Zane's morning wood announces that it's time to have sex again. Who needs an alarm clock when he's got an alarm cock? Lissa starts it off and the three fall into a lust-filled, and very hotly satisfying morning. Enjoy this short fiction story of erotic fiction, erotic romance, and group fun! Sexuality at it's best, a threeway love fest!Read how this throuple met in the excerpt in the anthology, The Best Bi Erotica of the Year, Volume 2 https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/thebestbieroticaoftheyearSupport the showExclusives https://www.buzzsprout.com/1599808/subscribeNewsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillowhttps://linktr.ee/RuanWillow Affiliates Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow BeeDee dating app https://beedee.app/?r=ohfuckyeahThe Fantasy Box DATE30 for $30 OFF 1st box https://thefantasybox.sjv.io/c/6250602/2141126/26423

Week of November 09, 2025: Hundreds vanish without a trace in America's national parks each year, found miles from where they disappeared in impossible locations—if they're found at all.==========HOUR ONE: Colorado's best urban legends! *** A pitch black room at an inn, yields to a strange glow. (Comfort At The Comet Inn) *** Each year, hundreds of people simply disappear from parks and forests. What happened to them – and where are they? (People Are Vanishing Into Thin Air In Our National Parks) *** A series of unexplained incidents took place in the early 19th century at the Chase Vault, in the cemetery of the Christ Church in Oistins, Barbados. Each time the vault was opened to bury a family member, all coffins but one had changed position. (The Chase Vault)==========HOUR TWO: A Virginia pilot encounters a mysterious golden orb during a skydive flight! *** For those who claim to have spoken with extraterrestrials, they are told the aliens arrive here from other worlds. But what if the so-called aliens aren't really aliens at all – what if they are humans, visiting from the future? We begin with that story! (Aliens: Us From a Future Time?) *** Horror and Sci-Fi author and Weird Darkness fan J.D. Buffington doesn't believe in such things as ghosts. If Houdini couldn't reach his wife from the other side, then certainly no one else could, either, right? But that being said, J.D. has had some weird stuff take place in his life. (My Many Ghostly Encounters) *** Soon after moving into a sprawling Denver mansion, Russell Hunter sensed he wasn't alone. I'll share true events that inspired the film, “The Changeling”. (The Real Life Haunting That Inspired “The Changeling”)==========SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME: Known as California's Freeway Killer, William Bonin used a Ford van to lure in teenage hitchhikers to rape and ruthlessly murder. (California's Freeway Prowler) *** A couple is haunted by a slain rooster! (Cock-a-Doodle BOO!)==========SOURCES AND REFERENCES FROM TONIGHT'S SHOW:“Virginia Pilot Encounters Mysterious Golden Orb During Skydive Flight” by Brandon Grimes for Paranormality Magazine: https://paranormalitymag.com/?ref=5714“Aliens: Us From a Future Time?” by Nick Redfern for Mysterious Universe: http://bit.ly/2JptCDF“My Many Ghostly Encounters” by J.D. Buffington from his Circus Sized blog: http://bit.ly/2YvapqF“The Real Life Events That Inspired ‘The Changeling'” by Orrin Grey for The Line Up: http://bit.ly/2xwnMLa“The Forgotten Epidemic” by Troy Taylor: http://bit.ly/2RUIA8M“Comfort At The Comet Inn” by Jubelee from YourGhostStories.com: https://weirddarkness.tiny.us/93sauh8b“California's Freeway Prowler” by Giselle Ruiz from All That's Interesting: https://weirddarkness.tiny.us/3hrvrs8z“The Chase Vault” from Ghost-Story.co.uk: https://weirddarkness.tiny.us/2dzwvsjk“Cock-a-Doodle BOO!” by James McGuinness: (link no longer available)“People Are Vanishing Into Thin Air In Our National Parks” by an unknown author: (link no longer available)“Colorado's Best Urban Legends” from Paranormality Magazine: https://paranormalitymag.com/?ref=5714==========(Over time links seen above may become invalid, disappear, or have different content. I always make sure to give authors credit for material I use whenever possible. If I have overlooked doing so for a story, or if a credit is incorrect, please let me know and I will rectify it immediately. Some links may benefit me financially through qualifying purchases.)=========="I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness." — John 12:46==========WeirdDarkness®, WeirdDarkness© 2025==========To become a Weird Darkness Radio Show affiliate, contact Radio America at affiliates@radioamerica.com, or call 800-807-4703 (press 2 or dial ext 250).

Een prostituee wordt vermoord in haar woning in Amsterdam aangetroffen; ook blijkt een tas met een aanzienlijke som geld verdwenen te zijn. Uitgegeven door Uitgeverij De Fontein Spreker: Peter Römer

Blake and Ferris are back in the studio while Ron is away. So of course, the main topic is a Chelsea match. We also take a look at MLS and NWSL playoffs as well as a whip around the Champions League. We even do an unboxing for a special package Ferris received from Man United. Too bad he had to pay tariffs to get his gift. Love the beer, cherish the game. The Brewtiful Game Subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, and please leave a rating/review.** You can also listen to our show on Spotify. **If you leave a rating and review on iTunes, please take a screenshot and send it to us via email or social media, and we'll send you one of our new The Brewtiful Game koozies.**  

Cook-a-long with Samuel Goldsmith, in this bonus recipe episode Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this years halloween episode we have half assed costumes and full assed stories! Tayler mortified Christine with the unsolved case of the still unsolved Hinterkaifeck Farm family murders. Christine shares the case that became the inspo for the harrowing opening scene of the movie Jeepers Creepers. The case of Dennis and Marilyn DePue. Happiest Halloween friends!Spank you for listening. Do less God bless. Gloom & Bloom out!

Join me for my legendary 2026 New Year's Goal Setting Party! Create the life of your dreams one year at a time.I hope you enjoyed this episode of Law of Attraction Changed My Life and it adds some value to your life! Releasing control and expectations has honestly brought me so much peace around some bigger questions in my life. I hope it does for you too. Please do share this episode with a friend who would like it or share on your socials if you feel so called to do so!By the way, do we love my new Amazon Storefront - it was EVERYTHING I love and talk about on there!(contains Amazon affiliate links/Amazon associate)You can buy my Sunday Times Bestselling book Manifest Like a Mother here.Come and find me @francescaamber & @lawofattractionchangedmylife on Instagram - I would LOVE to hear from you.Join the Book Club B*tches as we read Aligned Abundance this month. We are the UK's largest self development book club. Honestly this book club and the bad b*tches within it are my self development secret. They are the BIGGEST secret to my success and I'm in love with life long learning! Come and join us, it's not a cult, it's probably not a coven but it IS the best.You can find all my work including overnight subliminals for weight loss, wealth, fertility, beauty and confidence, success etc..as well as online masterclasses on my website, francescaamber.comThings I love that I think you'll love too...Hitting my health and body goals every day with my at home walking pad. Use code 'francescaamber' for 5% off.Try my favourite magnesium supplement for FREE with this 5 day free trial.Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you again next week,Fran xxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Let's play a game!Our usual fun filled Halloween offering has been spiced up with a Traitors style game! Watch carefully and take notes, because there are lies to catch amongst our stories and one of us is a Traitor. Who will it be? Chapters:00:00 Introducing the Halloween Special02:06 The Traitors09:13 Local Radio Day and Nostalgia11:59 Unsolved Mystery: The Murder of Judith Gold16:13 Remembering Bela Lugosi22:57 Halloween Horrors: Real-Life Scary Stories40:54 Giant Marshmallow Man in Liverpool41:22 Halloween Decorations in America42:19 The Tragic Story of Patricia Ward46:21 Guess the True Story47:25 Mr. G's Ancient Arse-ifacts50:05 Cock and Ball Torture Device59:36 Funeral Home Horrors in Detroit01:06:27 Halloween Episode Wrap-Up01:06:59 Fetish Factoid: Masks01:12:05 The Traitor and the Faithful Reveal▶︎ Support us on Patreon for bonus content: https://www.patreon.com/ThePaddedCellPodcast▶︎ www.thepaddedcellpodcast.co.uk▶︎ www.thepaddedcellpodcast.store Watch the podcast on YouTube:▶︎ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ThePaddedCellPodcastFollow The Padded Cell for more:▶︎ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61551425184285▶︎ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thepaddedcell_podcast/?hl=en-gb▶︎ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@thepaddedcellpodcastRecorded and Produced by Liverpool Podcast Studios▶︎ Web - http://www.liverpoolpodcaststudios.com▶︎ Instagram - http://www.instagram.com/liverpoolpodcaststudios▶︎ LinkedIn - http://www.linkedin.com/company/liverpool-podcast-studios

Join Kenny Troiano and Frank Bradley, as they discuss the misconceptions surrounding “who is most important, the cock, or the hen.” The discussion about who is more valuable, the cock or hen, is as old as the chicken itself. It has been a huge debate for as long as I can remember. Everyone has an opinion, but who is right? Many say it's the cock. But when you look at it more closely, you see how superficial their reasoning actually is. It's based on old wive's tales and superstitions. It's not practical or realistic. On the other hand, many have said that the hen is more important, but very few know why. This way of thinking makes the selecting of hens, ones that have the ability to improve strains, much harder. How can you create or improve your strains, if you don't know who is more important, cock or hen, and why? In this episode we will discuss this very controversial subject, and hopefully shed new light, and open your mind to a new way of thinking. Make sure to join us, because this is a show you do not want to miss. We specialize in breeding, and breeding related topics. This includes proper selection practices and the use of proven breeding programs. It is our mission to provide our followers and members a greater understanding of poultry breeding, poultry genetics, poultry health care and disease prevention, and how to improve the production and performance ability of your fowl.  If you are interested in creating a strain, or improving your established strain, you are in the right place.  We also want to encourage you to join us at the Breeders Academy, where we will not only help you increase your knowledge of breeding and advance your skills as a breeder, but improve the quality and performance of your fowl. If you would like to learn more, go to: https://www.breedersacademy.com

A Scotsman, two clowns and a whole bunch of TA professionals walk into a Chicken Cock speakeasy ... No, it's not a joke, it's Chad & Cheese recording live from their recent visit to Louisville, Kentucky for some of the finest bourbon around and a little industry chat with Dan Heverin, Talent Acquisition Manager at Humana and Jacqueline Carow, North America Agency Director at Havas People. Recording in front of a rowdy bunch of recruiting pros, the gang talks automation, employment branding, tech stacks, the future of recruiting and more. Grab a pour and enjoy. We're return to our regularly scheduled program next week.

Porno flyder over med ord, de færreste siger højt. Hvem skriver replikkerne til de film, vi bliver liderlige af? Kan der være FOR mange ord? Er det nemmere at tale sexet på engelsk end dansk? Og hvorfor er det svært at tale med andre om, hvad vi nyder at onanere til? Klog på Sprog tager idag hånd om i pornoens mest berejste vendinger. Gæster: Denice Klarskov, pornoskuespiller- intruktør og producent Sidsel Harder, adjunkt v. Sociologisk Institut på Københavns Universitet med fokus på porno Andrea Alberte Stengaard, redaktør v. Det Danske Sprog- og Litteraturselskab Vært: Adrian Hughes Producer: Anna Sonja Bruhn I redaktionen: Magnus Møller

De Bruxelles à Abidjan en passant par Yaoundé et Kinshasa : les spectateurs de Barber Shop Chronicles suivent les histoires de quelques habitués des salons de coiffure pour hommes... Qu'est-ce qui se raconte dans les salons de coiffure pour hommes ?  En deux heures vingt de spectacle, les metteurs en scène Michael de Cock et Junior Mthombeni adaptent la pièce de l'auteur et poète anglo-nigérian Inua Ellams.  Entre documentaire et fiction, la pièce nous plonge dans les questionnements qui traversent les masculinités noires d'aujourd'hui avec une douzaine de comédiens sur scène. Dans ces lieux très particuliers, on cause de tout, des femmes, de la politique, du foot et de sa famille. Quand on arrive là-bas [chez le barbier] tu existes, tu as le droit d'être sans préjugés et automatiquement, le barbier se transforme en thérapeute. On partage tout.  Junior Akwety   L'adaptation de cette pièce anglophone a commencé, il y a un an et demi. Il y a eu tout d'abord une traduction puis une «transplantation» vers des pays francophones tout en gardant la même trame dramaturgique. On passe donc de Londres, de l'Angola ou du Ghana à Bruxelles, Kinshasa ou Dakar. On voyage dans le quotidien des gens, mais aussi dans les situations politiques des pays concernés...  Il y a beaucoup d'amusements, mais il y a aussi beaucoup de choses qui sont dites, des messages qui sont clairs qu'on arrive à passer. Salif Cissé  Une pièce qui parle aussi des pères : les pères absents, les pères violents. Un lien qu'on essaye de chercher, de retrouver avec nos cultures, précise Junior Akwety. On parle aussi beaucoup de société politique, mais aussi de l'histoire de la colonisation et de l'esclavage entre deux coupes de cheveux, mais on discute aussi des langues et de... foot !  Invités : Salif Cissé, un des comédiens de la pièce et Junior Akwety, comédien. Ce dernier a également participé à l'adaptation de la pièce.  Salif Cissé est un comédien né en 1992. Il grandit à La Courneuve, en banlieue parisienne. Il découvre le théâtre au lycée. Après un baccalauréat, il suit une formation au Conservatoire dont il sort diplômé en 2017, puis au Conservatoire national supérieur d'art dramatique. Il jouera avec ses camarades de promotion dans le film À l'abordage, sorti en 2020. Il enchaîne depuis les rôles au cinéma et au théâtre.  Junior Akwety est un chanteur, acteur, musicien de néo-rumba né au Congo.  Le spectacle Barber Shop Chronicles est à voir à la MC 93 du 15 au 19 octobre 2025, puis en tournée, en Italie, en Belgique, à Bruxelles et à Lisbonne au Portugal.         Programmation musicale :  L'artiste Steve Ibrahim avec le titre Sur le mur du salon.

De Bruxelles à Abidjan en passant par Yaoundé et Kinshasa : les spectateurs de Barber Shop Chronicles suivent les histoires de quelques habitués des salons de coiffure pour hommes... Qu'est-ce qui se raconte dans les salons de coiffure pour hommes ?  En deux heures vingt de spectacle, les metteurs en scène Michael de Cock et Junior Mthombeni adaptent la pièce de l'auteur et poète anglo-nigérian Inua Ellams.  Entre documentaire et fiction, la pièce nous plonge dans les questionnements qui traversent les masculinités noires d'aujourd'hui avec une douzaine de comédiens sur scène. Dans ces lieux très particuliers, on cause de tout, des femmes, de la politique, du foot et de sa famille. Quand on arrive là-bas [chez le barbier] tu existes, tu as le droit d'être sans préjugés et automatiquement, le barbier se transforme en thérapeute. On partage tout.  Junior Akwety   L'adaptation de cette pièce anglophone a commencé, il y a un an et demi. Il y a eu tout d'abord une traduction puis une «transplantation» vers des pays francophones tout en gardant la même trame dramaturgique. On passe donc de Londres, de l'Angola ou du Ghana à Bruxelles, Kinshasa ou Dakar. On voyage dans le quotidien des gens, mais aussi dans les situations politiques des pays concernés...  Il y a beaucoup d'amusements, mais il y a aussi beaucoup de choses qui sont dites, des messages qui sont clairs qu'on arrive à passer. Salif Cissé  Une pièce qui parle aussi des pères : les pères absents, les pères violents. Un lien qu'on essaye de chercher, de retrouver avec nos cultures, précise Junior Akwety. On parle aussi beaucoup de société politique, mais aussi de l'histoire de la colonisation et de l'esclavage entre deux coupes de cheveux, mais on discute aussi des langues et de... foot !  Invités : Salif Cissé, un des comédiens de la pièce et Junior Akwety, comédien. Ce dernier a également participé à l'adaptation de la pièce.  Salif Cissé est un comédien né en 1992. Il grandit à La Courneuve, en banlieue parisienne. Il découvre le théâtre au lycée. Après un baccalauréat, il suit une formation au Conservatoire dont il sort diplômé en 2017, puis au Conservatoire national supérieur d'art dramatique. Il jouera avec ses camarades de promotion dans le film À l'abordage, sorti en 2020. Il enchaîne depuis les rôles au cinéma et au théâtre.  Junior Akwety est un chanteur, acteur, musicien de néo-rumba né au Congo.  Le spectacle Barber Shop Chronicles est à voir à la MC 93 du 15 au 19 octobre 2025, puis en tournée, en Italie, en Belgique, à Bruxelles et à Lisbonne au Portugal.         Programmation musicale :  L'artiste Steve Ibrahim avec le titre Sur le mur du salon.

Send us a textThis ain't your grandma's podcast recap. After five long-ass years and 200 episodes of pure chaotic energy, The Funky Panther boys are still talkin' shit, takin' names, and accidentally jacking off crickets (don't ask). In this “farewell-but-not-really” dumpster fire of nostalgia, we look back at the beer-soaked beginnings, roast our old intros, and get weirdly emotional over CPAP machines and robot vacuums. Chad announces he's ditching the mic for married life and adulting — RIP to his balls. Also featuring: edible-fueled honeymoons, dick jokes during serious announcements, and more clickbait than a Buzzfeed intern on meth. If you've ever wanted to hear grown men cry into microphones while debating the proper term for robot slurs, this one's for you.  Fake adCALL OR TEXT OUR HOTLINE AND LEAVE US A MESSAGE! 817-677-0408Fort Worth MagazineBest of 2022 - Radio Personality/Podcast (Reader's Pick) Show LinksThe Funky PantherMerchYouTube

Ross Stevenson is flashing his cash after a huge win last weekend, Hamish McLachlan keeps making life difficult for Ross with Wyclif v Travolta pt 2 on the way and a Someone Interesting you won't believe... even when you hear it. GET INVOLVED!EMAIL: twoeachway@nine.com.au Follow Ross:X - x.com/RossAndRusselFACEBOOK - facebook.com/3awbreakfastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just a reminder that I'm back and you're welcome. Lol

In this episode, Vee and Elle play only the NSFW cards from Esther Perel's card game Where Should We Begin.Where Should We Begin: Esther Perel's card game.“A text message you fantasize about recieving…”: domming your husband from afar, cock cages, and naughty sexts.“A sexual experience I'd pay for…” From sex workers in Amsterdam to strippers to dominatrixesSomatica visualization/fantasy: Vee guides Elle to figure out what she would want in a fantasy situation.“When I imagine a life of poly…” What is your capacity for polyamorous relationships? “The relationship that taught me the most about sex...” “A sexual encounter I wish hadn't been cut short…” Vacation sex and “My sexual superpower is…” Cock worship, empathy and attunement, sloppy blowjobs with deep throat, unicorning. Whoreible Life vs Where Should We Begin.Evolving dynamics and labels in the consensually non-monogamous scene.Where to find us, and how you can support us:Instagram: @girlsgonedeeppod Merch: girlsgonedeep.com/shop Woo More Play Affiliate Link: Support us while you shop! WHOREible Life: Get 10% off your deck with code GONEDEEP at whoreiblelife.com Instagram: @wlthegameContact: girlsgonedeep@gmail.com © 2025 GGD Alchemy, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Zohran Mamdani is widely expected to win the race to be the next New York City mayor. The contest is now a three horse race between Mamdani, the Republican candidate Curtis Silwa and Andrew Cuomo, the former Democratic governor. Current democratic mayor Eric Adams was also running but pulled out this week. David Kaufman, who worked on the Adams campaign, joins Freddy Gray in New York to dissect the race. They discuss the democratic 'cock ups' that led to Mamdani's selection, the impact of the war in Gaza on the race and the dimension of identity politics. Could he win as the 'anti-Trump' candidate?Become a Spectator subscriber today to access this podcast without adverts. Go to spectator.co.uk/adfree to find out more.For more Spectator podcasts, go to spectator.co.uk/podcasts. Contact us: podcast@spectator.co.uk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we welcome back Roxy Rockette! We check out trailers “The Hand That Rocks the Cradle” and “The Mandalorian and Grogu,” plus the trailer for the upcoming Hideo Kojima game with Jordan Peele, “OD.” Then, we learn a ton about Zsa Zsa and Eva Gabor, and way too much talk about the zombie cock in “28 Weeks Later.” Plus, tattoo convention tips, changes in fight choreography, and the secrets of crock pot cooking.

Really, Oklahoma? REALLY?!?!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You do you, Oklahoma. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode will expire in 24 hours! Missed an episode? Pick it back up anytime! Want the back catalog? Become a supporter on Patreon! patreon.com/mercuryradio More info about ARTC And Mercury at artc.org/mercury  Follow us on Bluesky @mercury870

From Malibu's Most Wanted to Most Hung?The banter begins with Jamie Kennedy's legendary TV and film career—but quickly shifts to the elephant on the internet. Yes, THAT photo. Is it real? We get the truth straight from Jamie himself. (Spoiler: blurry or not, it's all him.)From Scream to The Jamie Kennedy ExperimentThe boys celebrate Jamie's cultural moments and roast the younger generation for confusing him with James Kennedy from Vanderpump Rules. According to one producer, Jamie had even “died in a hot tub.” Jamie takes it in stride: “I'm alive, bitches.” Playboy Mansion Secrets & Trunk Sneak-InsJamie shares wild-but-wholesome nights at the Playboy Mansion—rubbing shoulders with Carmen Electra and Anna Nicole Smith, and partying with Too Short on the mic. Meanwhile, Pol' confesses to sneaking in via a car trunk. They may have even crossed paths at one of those parties… destiny? The coffee thinks so. Coffee Reading Gets Real: “Who's Whispering in Your Ear?”Pol' delivers a powerful coffee cup reading that stops Jamie in his tracks, diving into:· Emotional stagnancy· Life-changing decisions· The blurred line between Jamie the person and the persona· And if he should finally put a ring on girlfriend Elyssa's fingerIt's insightful, eerie, and so accurate it gives Jamie chills. “You're 100% right,” he admits. “I have to be all of me. Always.” Hollywood Then & NowJamie opens up about the early days—from being an extra in Dead Poets Society, to Romeo + Juliet with Leonardo DiCaprio, to the breakout success of Scream. He recalls working with Steve Martin and Ellen DeGeneres and reflects on how much the industry has changed. Verdict? Social media fame ≠ movie star. He's rooting for passion over followers. Red Carpet Scams & Designer TeaPol' drops a bombshell: a major actress demanded six figures just to wear one of his gowns to the Oscars—even though his designs have graced winners like Karen Tolliver (Hair Love). Jamie's jaw drops. “She made $20 million and wants you to pay her?!” As always, Pol' and Patrik bring fashion realness with a side of shade. Hot Topics & Flirty Chaos· Zoe Kravitz & Harry Styles: Cute or confusing? Pol' says let them live.· Jamie's 20-year age gap with Elyssa: He defends it with honesty and humor. (Also, she's not in 12th grade. Relax.)· OnlyFans culture: Jamie calls out society's weird double standards—and if he'd ever post a pickle shot. Snow BooBoo Is Coming…Pol' & Patrik tease their adorable new doll line: Snow BooBoo from Snow White 90210. Jamie's sold. Pre-orders are open, and this booboo's ready to slay. Final ThoughtsBetween the jokes, raunch, and Hollywood chaos, this episode shows a man at a crossroads—balancing fame, love, legacy, and authenticity. Whether you're a longtime Jamie Kennedy fan or just meeting him, Undressed reminds you that real connection always beats public perception. Don't miss Part 2—coming soon! More revelations, more glam, and more Jamie Kennedy. Subscribe: linktr.ee/undressedpodFollow Pol Atteu: IG/TikTok/Twitter @polatteu — polatteu.com Follow Patrik Simpson: IG/TikTok @patriksimpsonbh — patriksimpson.com Follow SnowWhite90210: IG @snowwhite90210 — snowwhite90210.com Watch Gown and Out in Beverly Hills on Prime Video — gownandoutinbeverlyhills.com #UndressedPodcast — Armenian Coffee Reading: polatteu.com/armenian-coffee-cup-read Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cyrus Says went LIVE at antiSOCIAL Mumbai — and it was absolute chaos!With comedians Sahil Shah & Zervaan Bunshah joining Cyrus on stage, nothing was off limits: Politics, Vote chori, Virat Kohli prank calls, Messi vs Ronaldo, Putin’s poop rumours, Donald Trump conspiracies, Mumbai bridge disasters — and of course, a very loud LIVE audience! This was the wildest Cock & Bull ever, packed with jokes, crowd interactions, and completely unfiltered madness. If you missed the show, here’s your chance to relive it.

Forgettable to formidable—how a once underwhelming

Play well with others! Have you truly explored all the ways that body parts can fit together? The girls are getting the skinny on skin contact in today's episode! The girls cover all things silly and sensual, from tender touch to circumcision to the simple joy in a little sparring with swords. Don't be circumspect, and listen!Be sure to rate Girls on Porn 5-Stars on Apple Podcast and Spotify! And leave your favorite search term OR your porn star name in the review for a chance to have it read on-air. British Lads Docking Hung UNCUT cocks (TwoTwinkHusbands via XHamster)Follow Us on Social Media:Show: @girlsonprnLaura: @ramadeiRachel: @_rrratchelShow Credits:Producer: Amanda CMixed and Edited by Grace HarperIntern: Matt WoodwardTheme by Eli JanneyAdvertise on Girls On Porn via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.