Conversations with Kelly

In this episode Kelly Grosklags, LICSW, your podcast host, introduces the new format for season 4 episode 1. Kelly talks about how all grief matters and that if you feel a reaction to a loss, no matter how big or small, it is valid. Society tries to lay down the rules for who can and how long one should grieve. Listen to this episode as Kelly validates us all on our own experiences. As always, your grief is seen and held.

In this episode, Jeffrey and Kelly have a candid conversation about the grief that doesn't often get talked about. What do we do if we are relieved the person no longer is living because they hurt us so much? Or if we are estranged? There are types of losses that have multiple layers of grief attached. It's important to acknowledge and honor this unique and deep pain as well. As always, thank you for listening. Peace.

In this episode Kelly and Jeffrey are joined by Jordan Kilber and Jess Paschke, who lost their sister Jenna suddenly to a brain tumor. It is beautiful how they talk so lovingly about Jenna. They give us helpful and practical suggestions on how to support someone who has lost a sibling. We know that often this type of loss isn't honored as it should be. We are releasing this episode in November as it is Sibling Grief Awareness Month. Jordan and Jess welcome listeners to email them if they'd like to talk about sibling loss and other resources available to help. Thank you Jordan & Jess! 

In this episode, Jeffrey & Kelly talk about the important opportunities that are present when we know the loss of someone we love is inevitable. We are invited to care for our loved one and ourselves with compassion during terminal illness and throughout the dying process itself. We can use healing mantras to provide solace and support. Learn about Dr. Ira Byock's work and the Hawaiian healing prayer, Hoʻoponopono -- and how focusing on what matters most can ease our suffering in times of grief and loss.

In this episode Jeffrey and Kelly have a non-threatening, honest conversation about how to handle the possessions of our loved ones after a death. These are tender times that require us to assess each situation case-by-case. There are no hard and fast rules about timelines and what precisely to do. As often is the case, there are many things, emotions and feelings to consider. Nevertheless, taking time to evaluate how you feel will help empower you to make the best decision to honor your needs and the life of your loved one. Take a listen!

In this episode Jeffrey and Kelly talk about what to consider when dating after a loss such as a death, divorce or breakup. There is not necessarily a right or wrong way to date -- or a timeline for deciding when to start dating again. Kelly shares her years of stories from others who have taken the risk to date. For those who are widowed, groups like Soaring Spirits International may offer some needed support, especially in times of isolation. Thank you all for joining us for this important conversation! 

In this episode Kelly and Jeffrey have a beautiful conversation about ways to connect and communicate when our loved ones are dying and very near the end of life. Letting go can be a very sad and scary time for many people. We hope that this episode offers suggestions to help ease the discomfort of saying goodbye.

In this episode, Kelly and Jeffrey speak about the importance of have a designated space to BE with our grief. Cemeteries are not for everyone. Listen to hear ways to honor yourself and your loved one who has died. Today, we have so many options for creating this loving space.There is no wrong way to do this.

In this episode, Jeffrey and Kelly talk about how profound moments of perspective and gratitude are for our happiness. Kelly shares a beautiful story about a woman she worked with that sheds light on what it means to truly be in the now. We often pressure ourselves to do more before ever appreciating what we have already done.

Jeffrey and Kelly welcome Bryan Piatt back for the second time to continue a conversation on how important it is to have compassion for ourselves. All too often we shame ourselves for the natural experience of being human. We must allow for grace in difficult periods and speak in a loving manner to ourselves as we would to a child. Bryan shares ways he practices self compassion and why these rituals are essential to quality of life.  If you like what you've heard today, please subscribe to Conversations with Kelly wherever you get your podcasts...and share this episode with those you love. Thank you!

In today’s episode, Kelly and Jeffrey talk about mental health with Josh Ward, creative designer, writer and founder of the YupItsJosh Podcast. Over the past several months, the world has experienced a greater need for telemedicine to provide mental health therapy amid a global pandemic. Josh shares his experience finding and working with a therapist in a virtual setting, and Kelly discusses some important considerations for making therapy decisions wherever the venue. We are grateful to Josh for taking the time to share his story!

A perfect way to start off the new year of 2021! In this episode, Jeffrey and Kelly talk about the importance of the words we speak to ourselves and others. A mantra is a word or set of words that serve as reminders of what matters -- to help keep you centered and create a sense of peace. We encourage you to practice using a mantra as a grounding tool in your life.Please keep our community growing by liking and sharing this episode. As always, thank you for joining the CWK community and Happy New Year!

In this episode, Kelly and Jeffrey chat with Mike O’Connell, Licensed Funeral Director & owner of O’Connell Family Funeral Homes and Cremation Services in Hudson, Wisconsin. We discuss the importance of the goodbye ritual. Mike shares his experiences with families as he walks with them after a death occurs.We are grateful to Mike for taking time to have this important conversation with us -- and hope this episode inspires you to plan for yourself and others for when it's time to say goodbye.For more information, visit https://oconnellfuneralhomes.com/

This episode highlights the importance of reaching out for and accepting support after the death of a loved one. Jeffrey and Kelly interviewed Carolyn Kinzel, executive director of Brighter Days Grief Center in Eden Prairie, MInnesota. Brighter Days exists to support all members of the family throughout their bereavement experience.Since our interview, the center has acquired the Youth Grief Services from Fairview Health Services. Please check out their website as they offer extensive services. Grief is not meant to be experienced alone. We are grateful for this beautiful resource!www.brighterdaysgriefcenter.org

A special edition of the CWK podcast for these unusual times with Covid amid Thanksgiving and the holidays. These days can be extremely isolating. While we may be physically apart, we can still find ways to connect psychologically and socially. We are meant to connect as humans. It only takes one person to change our day for the better.We wish all of our listeners the best of the season, filled with gratitude and love for you and your loved ones.

In this episode, Jeffrey and Kelly discuss the way grief can manifest in our physical body. Grief can surface as physical symptoms such as pain, muscle aches and discomfort. It is always important to be seen by your medical provider to rule out disease, however. Hear Kelly share how her grief often manifests in her chest and heart which is common given her mom died from a heart attack.As always, thank you for listening. Please share this Conversations with Kelly podcast with all who may need to hear our healing message. 

In this episode, Jeffrey and Kelly have a conversation about the gift of time beyond it being a cliché. From years of working in end of life care, Kelly shares some of her insights to instill within us that each moment is what we have. No matter the length of our life, these moments are meaningful. It is beautiful to realize how truly profound even the simplest experiences can be.

In this episode Jeffrey and Kelly talk about the conversations Kelly has had with hundreds of dying people at the end of their lives. Because so many common themes have been presented by the dying, we feel they can apply to the majority of situations whether an expected or unexpected death occurred. We are each worthy of our grief...and even moments of joy. Our loved ones want us to continue living in their honor.A note on our production: We mentioned our new podcast recording equipment, so here it is -- the RodeCaster Pro. Here's Jeffrey with the setup at Studio B in Chicago.  

In this episode, Jeffrey and Kelly have a conversation about the way to healing is to travel through and with all emotions. It is common that we judge ourselves for emotions we have, even the positive ones. Rather than judge, we encourage you to drop into your heart space and feel. What if we embraced our emotions like we do a small child who is hurting? In our individual worlds we are allowed to feel what we feel. Our emotions guide us into the space that calls us for healing. Each of us deserves this healing. Peace to all as you navigate your way through. Remember, you do not need to do this alone. Please remember to subscribe and share our CWK podcasts! Thank you.

In this episode Jeffrey and Kelly speak with their guest, Bryan Piatt, co-founder of Refresh Network, about his mental health story and what he encourages us all to to consider when opening up about our struggles. Because we are more alike than different, likely someone in your life can identify with your story. We are meant to be connected as humans in our struggles and our joys. Thank you for this insightful conversation, Bryan!Refresh Network is a space for real conversations about mental health. For more information, visit https://www.facebook.com/refreshnetworktv/. Learn more about Bryan in this interview courtesy KARE11.

In this episode Jeffrey and Kelly talk about how loss upon loss impacts us. With COVID-19 and the unrest in our country, we are all experiencing grief overload. We come into these times with our own stories and losses. These must be honored as well. We are wishing each person the chance to be heard and validated. Wishing you safety and peace, always.

In this follow-up episode about caregiving in times of crisis, Kelly and Jeffrey invite Dan back to the studio to hear how time has helped shape his perspectives. Whatever our situation during challenge or loss, we become aware that our emotions are fluid and ever-changing. We realize we are different today than we were before. Our response to being a caregiver can surprise us and those we love, in powerful and meaningful ways.If you haven't done so already, listen to part 1 which was originally published in April 2020.

This episode was recorded as the coronavirus was emerging as a worldwide threat. As we strive to cope with the present reality of COVID-19, we hope you find this content timely and relatable.Today Jeffrey and Kelly welcome their guest, Dan, to the studio. Dan shares his experience caregiving for his father who became seriously ill while out of the country. The uncertainty, fear, anger and guilt that accompanied Dan as a caregiver may be very relatable to how many of us are feeling right now.As we allow our emotions to surface, we can acknowledge them, name them, and use them to help bring us validation and support. Thank you to Dan for his honesty, vulnerability and presence in sharing his experience with the CWK community. We are reminded through Dan’s story that love truly is what matters most. 

In this episode, Kelly and Jeffrey explore what it means to be present as a caregiver when someone is ill. Jeffrey shares a personal story about his own chronic illness -- and his experience with the caregivers who showed up at the time of diagnosis.When you are called upon to be a caregiver, there isn't a guide on how to do it. Will you say the right thing? What exactly should you do? How can you help? Communication is key. Listen to understand what your friend or family member needs. It is only by being present that you can truly give the kind of compassionate care your loved one deserves and desires.For more information on caregiving and other insightful stories about grief, loss and hope, check out Kelly's book A Comforted Heart, available on Amazon.

In this episode Kelly and Jeffrey have a meaningful discussion about the elements of loss often left unsaid. As an individual in this society we are conditioned about how and what is legitimate to grieve -- and what we should share with others. Kelly walks us through all grief reactions. Sometimes when we lose someone, we are not grieving for a beautiful connection, rather a connection we never had. All loss has a grief associated it, and grief has many faces. As you listen, take comfort in knowing we honor ALL of your feelings related to loss. The complexity of grief is something we can seek to understand as we find helpful and healthy ways to experience its many facets.

In  this episode, Jeffrey and Kelly discuss some ideas on how we can honor those who have died. Our love shows up in many ways as we travel through the weeks, months and years trying to navigate life without our loved ones. Kelly shares how saying the name of the one you miss is a powerful way to honor them. Our loved ones both want us to always remember them and continue living our lives. Grief is a profound experience and honoring the deceased has a beautiful way of keeping us connected. 

In this episode Kelly and Jeffrey have a meaningful discussion about the many poignant lessons Kelly has learned from many years working with people who are terminally ill. There are many beautiful ways to look at life when your lens is more focused on what matters the most. We get to choose how we spend our energy each day. Find your simple joys each day.

In this episode Kelly talks with Jeffrey about his experiences visiting two different people who were at the end of their life. We know this is a sacred time in someone’s life, therefore, we can pressure ourselves to act or be a certain way. Jeffrey and Kelly discuss some beautiful ways that may help in finding a more comfortable approach to the visit. Hear Jeffrey transparently share his fears and ways he allowed for it all -- and how he changed in the process.To all who are saying goodbye, or visiting a loved one at the end of their life, let the visit unfold as it is meant to.

In this episode Jeffrey starts off reading a beautiful passage on gratitude written by a dear friend of CWK, Judy E. Judy wrote this for Kelly’s book, A Comforted Heart.In this podcast we learn that moments change with gratitude. Although we are not expected to be grateful all the time, we can each have moments in our days that, if present, we can appreciate. Kelly discusses a practice that can allow us to step into more gratitude daily.Thank you for listening! It is our hope you will be inspired throughout this episode regardless of where you are in your life.

In this episode we learn hope is something available to all of us regardless of where we are in life. We discuss how hope can be thought of a something that is unattainable and not realistic. Rather, hope is a mental break from negativity and fear. It is available to each of us until the end of life.----more----Hope changes over time; it does not end. We all have access to hope even in the darkest of times. Allow yourself to entertain moments of hope each day. There is no hope too small.Publication referenced: Coping with Cancer, November/December 2017.

In this episode of Conversations with Kelly you will discover that when we invest intensely in a relationship we will naturally grieve deeply when the relationship changes or is lost. Grief is a reaction to a loss while the loss is the event itself. This is an important distinction because when we view grief as an event, we naturally expect it to have a beginning, a middle and an end. Grief, however, does not know these markers; it is a lifetime reaction to a loss. Grief hurts our body physically and our soul emotionally. Listen in to learn and affirm what you can expect when you lose something or someone of significance. In time you can find comfort in knowing that eventually you will tell your grief, “It is okay to stay.”

In this, our inaugural episode of the Conversations with Kelly podcast, you will learn how healing is possible for all of us no matter what struggles we are experiencing or what stage of life we are in. Healing comes in the form of forgiveness of self and of others, gratitude, apologies and love. Love is an antidote for much of what we suffer from. Forgiveness is not about condoning the hurt of another or self; it is about setting oneself free from the agony of holding onto the pain. The love is for self. Loving yourself is enough to surrender this angst. It is never too late to heal the wounds of our lives. The Hawaiian healing practice ho’oponopono was developed by Mormah Nalamaku Simeona. Listen to learn how four powerful phrases can change your life for the better. As you practice, you will heal -- and you will add to your quality of living.