INDULGE ME

Navigating through a career is hard, and continuing to learn new skills can be challenging. In this episode, we're digging into what it takes the re-skill / skill up to continue to stay relevant in the workplace. Quotes include: "Garet, you know why I bought that bottle? Because it has a hog's ass on it." ---- "I've been challenged in the workplace. I used to work with children, and sometimes I just would wish I had that cattle gun from No Country for Old Men". ---- "Garet: 'Don't ever cut me off. You messed up the qualms intro'... Pat: 'Oh whatever. I'll figure it out later. We'll splice it in or something.'"

In this episode we talk about our experiences of dating around, going on many dates in a small period of time, and more. Quotes include: Garet explaining “dating around” to small children: “Here’s the thing kids. Don’t get em mixed up. Imagine if you had multiple tooth fairies, and you called one by the wrong name. Do you think you’ll ever get a buck from that tooth fairy ever again? Never. You won’t even be able to sleep out of so much fear." -----  Pat: "Dating is very very very similar to selling professional services".

With the Coronavirus spreading throughout the world, many companies are choosing to send their employees home, where many of them will begin to telecommute. In this episode, we talk about the pros and cons of the telecommuting lifestyle, as well as a bunch of other related and unrelated nonsense. Quotes include: "I believe Congress should sit alphabetically. That way, Mitch McConnell would have to sit next to Nancy Pelosi all the time." ---- "Hey Wuhan, could we maybe not eat bats anymore? How about that?" ---- "Garet, I know you're very comfortable with sexuality."

We're tackling the same topic as just about everyone else this week - the Coronavirus. We hit on airport searches, retail nightmares, and ethics. Quotes include---- "There are plenty of things you can do where you look back and think you were a fool. Three weeks from now, I could be talking about how I took a shit in an airport the other day. There, I said it.". ---- "I think we should create a tax credit for people who purchase bidets. It's about time America appreciated what those are". ---- "Charmin Ultra executives at this point are probably like 'thanks everyone, but honestly, why toilet paper?"

In this episode, we discuss household trends, roommates situations, and all of the reasons why Garet and I hate living together. "Living with you makes me want to drink every night." ---- "If I could poll as well as Tulsi Gabbard, I would run for US President". ---- "People don't get good at wrestling by being required to wrestle. They do it optionally, okay? It's a fine line between intramural sports and Anne Frank."

Type 2 Fun represents something that you do that isn't necessarily fun in the moment but is gratifying in retrospect. In this episode, we're joined by our friend Brittany to learn more about it. Quotes include: “‘My friend is from Miami.’, “Oh well, Miami has a lot of aesthetic bodies. But not necessarily functional bodies. But yeah, I’m sure your friend is great.’” ----- “You just looked at me like I’m an idiot…”’ ‘Oh my gosh. I’m sorry.’... ‘Oh it’s okay. I am one.’” ----- “Nicholas Cage is my f***ing hero” ----- “‘I’m usually willing to share a bed with just about anybody’... ‘That’s what I say when I go into bars on the weekends.’” ----- “Anytime someone cries in the shower, it probably needs to be classified as Type 2 fun”.

In this episode we're talking about gossip. We talk about its historical significance and its place in our society today. "Everybody always wants to add a Venn diagram to their analyses, because they feel as though it adds something. But Garet, you're taking this too far" ---- "Garet, true or false, you get a haircut every 21 days." ---- "I feel like we're off to a weird start on this episode. Should we chug this wine?"  

In this episode, we're chatting about 23&Me, Ancestry.com, and other services that offer customers the ability to understand more about their genealogy. Quotes include: "I'm not talking about self image, self actualization, or family values. I'm talking about pure sex appeal. Would you rather look like Justin Bieber or Ed Sheeran?"

Megan Bellamy joins us to talk about Nice Guys (and Nice Girls). We dig in deep, comparing each other's experiences, and figuring out where these personas come from and how they work. Quotes include: “When I walk into a room, people consistently say things like ‘wow, he must be a really nice guy with a well rounded personality..’ Just kidding. That’s literally never how it goes. They just comment on how tall I am.” ---- “I don’t know. Maybe there are people out there who would say I’m not a nice guy…” “Uh yeah. And one of them is in this room.”.

In this episode, we talk about micro-cheating, some of the many different ways it is interpreted by couples, as well as how it can be so uncomfortable for people to experience. Quotes include: “Pat, if I find a gal I can discuss Classic Fiction with naked, you better make me marry her”. ---- "Erotic novels and R&B slow jams aren’t exactly the safest places to go with “platonic friends”. You’d be playing with fire my friend."

Platonic friendships can be confusing. This week, Pat, Garet, and Leah talk about how Platonic friendships exist today, if it's possible to be successful in having them, or if they're one big lie. Quotes include: “Great analogy Pat. Relationships are like addictions. And you know what? This podcast is like AA.” ---- “Platonic relationships are less likely to happen for older people. I suspect the reason is because, at that age, your friends are all dying.” ---- "Two thirds of people say they would be willing to sleep with their friend of the opposite sex. So next time you’re at a bar with your friends, look to your left, and look to your right. They both want you."

In this episode, we look back on the 50 episodes that have been recorded to date, mention some of their favorites, as well as play clips from each. We get pretty introspective - a break the record for the most conversational rabbit holes explored in a single podcast episode. We hope you enjoy listening to it as much as we enjoyed recording it.

We’ve recently come to understand a host of different verbs that have entered the realm of dating. Between “orbiting” and “kittenfishing”, we discuss many different odd phrases that have entered the dating lexicon. Quotes include: “Shoutout to our French audience. We love you guys”. ---- “When I go out, I make myself available to women who are on the prowl. I make myself prey, and they are the predator.”---- “Pat, if you’re not nice to me, I swear to God I’ll pour this wine on your skin. It’ll soak in, and you’ll fail Whole30”.---- “We should do an episode while having IVs, as well as catheters. We should Instagram Live the whole thing”.

There are loads of interesting research and development in the field of sleep. And because Garet and I know so much about it, we decided to use this episode to explore some of these interesting items. Quotes include: “‘Garet, do you ever wake up in the middle of the night?’, ‘No, I typically just use catheters’”. ---- “Garet, that glass looks like you chewed up a bunch of popcorn and backwashed into the wineglass”. ---- “I’m a grown man, I can take care of myself”    

Tis the season to talk about all the ridiculous things about Christmas and the holiday season. Quotes include: ---- “’I’m not here to fuck spiders’. They say that all the time in Australia Pat. And guess what. The spiders are really big down there” ---- “My old professor used to buy his children rugs from the Middle East… And do you know what else comes from the Middle East? Jesus Christ.” ---- “In Catholicism, you’re either fasting, or you’re feasting.”

Pat and Garet talk about their experiences of living inside of the friend zone, and how both men and women seem to deal with the situation when it happens. ------ “Prom is tough for highschool kids. Their hormones are absolutely boiling, and their looking to explore other people’s bodies.” -------  “Pat, I used to live in the friend zone. I used to have a penthouse in the friendzone. No, wait. I used to have a full-on bunker in the friend zone.”  

In this episode, we talk about examples of toxic masculinity in our society today. Quotes include ----- “It all goes back to daddy issues…” - “That’s a tattoo I’ve been thinking about getting for a while”. -----  “One time, I tried to be a vegan for a couple of weeks, and someone called me a pussy. And that person was you, Garet. I have a voicemail to prove it.”

Dealbreakers often times come up when on dates, and people seem to have a list they use when determining who they choose to spend their time with. On this episode, we talk about the pros and cons of these hard-and-fast rules, as well as some of our own dealbreakers. Quotes include: “If you’re a sloppy kisser – like, I’m picturing Beethoven the dog now – I think I’m out”. ----- “I’m lonely right now Pat.” – “Is that why I’ve been hearing so much Barry White coming from your bedroom late late a night?” ----- “I could be a good dad. I’ve been to Ace Hardware three times this week. If some gal tells me she has four kids while we’re on a date, I’m still interested”. ----- “I’m out on girls who have pet rabbits.”

Our favorite recurring guest Ben Dennis joins us on this smorgasbord episode to discuss career and job searching advice. Quotes include --- “Defending your job history with a potential employer is almost translatable to defending your relationship history to a prospective partner. Except, you can’t just give your date a list of previous partners and their phone numbers” ----- “Typically you don’t let interns work on big projects. When you’re just coming out of college, don't plan on doing big stuff. The only time interns were really allowed to work on big stuff was the Boeing MAX, and we all know how that turned out.”

At some point in your young adult life, you may have been solicited to by a friend or colleague to join a multi-level marketing program. In this episode, we talk about some examples, and why these programs are typically perceived to be annoying or undesirable. Quotes include: "It's nice when one of your old friends calls you to catch up. That is until they try to offer you the opportunity to buy a bunch of boxes of foot cream." --- "$200. That's at least 6 months worth of McDonalds and Taco Bell. If you're smart." --- "If someone has to tell you that something is not a pyramid scheme, it's probably a pyramid scheme. It's kind of like if someone approaches you on a first date and the first thing they tell you that they're not a serial killer."

Meeting gals is tough, no matter if it's online or in person. In this episode, we talk about the different variables involved in meeting women, across many social situations. Quotes include: "Sliding into the DMs? It's a low converting medium." "I just can't get the confidence to talk to a gal in public. And it doesn't make sense, because I have every excuse to do so, my height, my rockin bod, etc." "If the music is too loud, it's cool. What my words can't communicate, I supplement with my body rolls on the dance floor."  

Whether it be dating, playing sports, or executing in the workplace, being able to get vulnerable might lend itself to our ability to succeed and contribute to others.

Digital notifications are presented to us dozens, if not hundreds of times per day. In this episode, we talk about how all of this screen time can affect your mind and your body. We also talk about solutions to this problem. Quotes include: "This episode is about digital notifications. Which is not the same thing as talking to your parents about your sexual frustrations, or about drugs. Unless you just fired off text messages to your parents, about your sexual frustrations or drugs." -----  "'Garet, didn't you major in math?' -- 'No, I beat those kids up'"  

"Ring By Spring" is a phrase used primarily in small conservative, religious universities, indicating that a person ought to have a ring on their finger by the spring semester of their senior year in college. Quotes include: “Do you know how many months of Tinder Premium you can get for the price of a liberal arts degree?” “We’re starting a new segment on the show called “Are They Still Married?" “Tinder Premium is not cheap. But, if there was a program that allowed you to received unsubsidized or perhaps subsidized federal loans for Tinder Premium – we’d have something to talk about”    

Pat and Garet drink a bottle of wine and talk about guilty pleasures. Quotes include: "Doesn't Microsoft Excel count as a guilty pleasure?" - Pat "Pink doesn't seem like someone I would normally hang out with. But sometimes when I'm just really feeling some strong or intense emotions, I rock out pretty hard." "The first time the phrase "Guilty Pleasure" is used, as far as we know, was in the New York Times in the 1870s, and it was about going to a brothel. For all you youngsters out there, another word for that might be bordello, or joy house, or massage parlor. So now you know."

For this episode, we drink a bottle of wine and talk about some of the ramifications that personality tests have on our society. Quotes include: "Hippocrates. That was a character in Disney's 'Hercules', right?" ---- "Back in ancient Greece, they would give you certain medications based on the category derived from you personality test. You know, like drilling a hole in your head." ---- "Most people think of big companies as being more sophisticated, but really it's just a larger amount of idiots."

How do government shutdowns happen, and what's the deal with this one? Pat and Garet drink a bottle of wine and discuss their solutions. Quotes include: "Here's an idea. What if we built a wall out made entirely out of Planned Parenthoods? Or perhaps a wall where we're allowed to write 'Trump is a dumbass' on it, over and over, for 2,000 miles. It's all about compromising here." "To all you dads out there, if your wife gives birth to twins, you should definitely check to make sure both of them are yours." "Donald Trump should offer all of the furloughed employees rooms in his hotels. That would make it all better, right?"

Pat and Garet drink a bottle of wine and talk about going through a breakup. Key quotes: "When going through a breakup, there's a balance that should be struck between being a pushover, and slashing someone's tires." "How do I handle breaking up with someone? ... Let me ask you a question. Have you ever been fired?" "Garet, do you think rather than breaking up with someone, it might just be easier to fake one's own death?"  

On this episode, we talk about Celebrity Gossip, Garet's pet peeves at the gym, and Pat's new favorite kitchen appliance. Quotes include - "I know what you're thinking. Instant Pot sounds like something us Coloradans do on the weekends, but let's be clear, it's the coolest pressure cooker I've ever seen". "Do you really think that the 6-month-pregnant gal doing dead lifts at the gym gives a crap what she looks like. I don't think so."

On this week's episode, we talk about online dating and the effects that anonymous online dating can have on people. Quotes include: 1. "'Catfish Lite' - it's the version of catfishing that involves photo filters, and not creating new identities." 2. "Measuring emotions is much easier with an SCCG approach... Spreadsheets, checklists, charts, and graphs."

We talk about voting on this episode! Quotes include: "It's not more important than voting, but having a $100 gift card to Raising Cain's Chicken might be just as important as voting". "I hate Democrats" - Pat Dennis "I hate Republicans" - Pat Dennis "I know how to understand angles. I can shoot a bank shot. Therefore, I know how to read pie charts." - Garet Tucker

Garet and I discuss first dates. We talk about why they're so uncomfortable, and we give our expert opinions on how people should address them in the future.

Garet and Pat drink a bottle of wine and talk about the pros and cons of gambling in the United States.

Pat and Garet drink a bottle of wine and discuss the concept of "DTRs", which supposedly means "Defining the Relationship". Top Quotes include: "DTR Conversations. They should be used like a weapon, right Garet?" "Have you ever given a gal your watch and asked her to be your girlfriend?" --- "No, but I have given my Letterman Jacket" --- "Oh wow. I've never had one of those in my entire life." "Unfortunately, there's no Dance Dance Revolution System out there that can measure body rolls. And until that day, I won't be playing DDR."