The Real Weird Sisters: The Archive

This may be J.K. Rowling's favorite film of the series (we have some theories as to why that is), but it is certainly none of ours. Nevertheless, we had a great time with Shandy of the Broadcast (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-broadcast/id1128235491?mt=2) dissecting everything about the sixth movie from the romances to the fiyah to the acting. Oh, and @ShutUpTim was there too.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

We've reached the end of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, or as we like to call it, Harry Potter and Snape. Is the final chapter as good as Alice remembered? Is it necessary to include both first and last names of characters we've gotten to know over the course of six books? And did Harry really have to do that stupid, noble thing? You'll find out!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are joined by the Real Weird Dad to sort an assortment of fictional dads, and then joined by another very special guest, Grandpa Paul Krebill.Paul Krebill's self-published books can be found at http://bit.ly/paulkrebillbooks and http://bit.ly/paulkrebill. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

(Spoiler alert) Dumbledore is dead, and Fawkes the phoenix (pronounced FEE-nix) is lamenting. Harry works through his emotions as visitor after visitor enters the hospital wing — even though he’s not hurt. Sparks fly between two unexpected lovebirds, but don’t worry about the fact that it’s in response to Dumbledore’s death, because Dumbledore would have been happier than anyone to think there was a little more love in the world (said curtly). Finally, Harry impresses Professors Sprout and Flitwick with an impassioned speech, but McGonagall remains none too pleased with “Potter.”Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time for the titular reveal! Snape flees Hogwarts, but don't you dare call him coward! Hagrid's hut burns, claiming the lives of several poor, innocent Bowtruckles, but it's nothin' Dumbledore won' be able to put righ'. And as usual, Hagrid needs to work on his listening skills.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Come over to the right side... and by that we mean Dumbledore's literal right side. You have to admit, it's a tempting offer! But first, there's time for a quick joy ride to Hogwarts (Accio Rosmerta's Brooms!) and plenty of discussion of the limits of the Imperius Curse. And spoiler alert, Snape kills Dumbledore. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Take a deep breath in and enjoy the salty air of the beautiful cliffs and coast. What a wonderful spot to take the orphans for a weekend getaway! It's also a great spot for Harry to learn the true meaning of the conditions to which he agreed to come on this adventure and for Dumbledore to prove that, despite his age, he's a really strong swimmer. And don't worry, the drinks are on us (bring your own goblet).Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The creature in Harry's chest may be gone, but the seeker is overhead as Harry, Ginny, and Harry's Hungarian Horntail tattoo spend the last carefree weeks of the series together. Meanwhile, Hermione is unpleasantly intentional, Trelawney is cracking up, and Dumbledore is faced with a very unexpected dilemma. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Two very special and long-awaited guests join Alice and Martha to celebrate Mother's Day. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

This chapter includes one of Harry’s — sorry, “Roonil’s” — lowest points in the series, but also some very positive moments for other characters, such as the creature in Harry’s chest. It just goes to show that our actions don’t always have consequences! In addition to his choice of attack on Malfoy, Harry faces several moral dilemmas, including whether to tell Ron his true feelings for Ginny, risking the possibility of Ron “hitting” him. Ron may not be Ginny’s keeper after all, but she is his chaser.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Finally, with Slughorn's original memory in hand, Dumbledore can tell Harry the truth. 100% of it! There's nothing, absolutely nothing, that he's keeping from Harry now. Alice and Martha debate the merits of censorship (and Alice seems suspiciously interested in learning more about exactly how to make a Horcrux) and the mathematics of splitting up a soul (again, Alice seems a little bit more intrigued than necessary). And most importantly, Dumbledore's unexpected promise to Harry earns a snort of disapproval from Phineas Nigellus. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

This podcast is covered in tear stains as we bid farewell to Aragog, king of arachnids. But before we get to that, there's plenty of time to brew up something amusing, though hopefully not a curdled purple dumpling. And don't worry, this episode is safe to listen to - we had a house elf test it for you (but please don't tell SPEW). Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The boy so solid he cannot Apparate half an inch across a room takes advantage of some extra practice sessions in Hogsmeade, while Harry continues to obsess over Malfoy and a very pretty girl who is standing guard over the Room of Requirement. Most importantly, Alice and Martha discuss a very promising fan theory about Tonks's true identity. God, we've all been stupid! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Two new queens have entered the scene, and they come in the form of a melting iced cake and the oldest house elf in the world. In other words, we'd be glad to see anything Miss Hepzibah has to show us, and we've never been more in sympathy with SPEW. Get ready for some master manipulation this chapter, as Tom Riddle charms Zacharias's great-great-something and Dumbledore plays puppet master to just about everyone else.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Ron spends some time recovering in the hospital wing, avoiding Lavender, and leaning into his true feelings for Er-my-nee. Harry spends his time obsessing over Malfoy, avoiding Lavender (and Cormac), and jumping to conclusions about Sn-I SHOULD NOT HAVE SAID THAT. And like McLaggen's Bludger does with Harry's head, worlds collide as Peeves, Dobby, and Kreacher (and Martha's impressions of them) all find themselves in the same room. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Two real weirdos are back to talk about tales of elves — all 399 of them! That number is certainly significant, though not quite as significant as this chapter’s opening words: so, all in all. Wow. Brilliant. Really brilliant. You may be surprised by this week’s real weirdo and chapter ranking, but nothing is as surprising as the shock of finding out that “it’s locked!”Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

No shortcuts or cheats are going to help Harry during the most challenging Potions lesson of the year so far, so he resorts to sheer cheek--oh, he is his mother's son! The sixth years begin Apparition lessons, though Harry's not really fussed; after all, he prefers brooms. Ron gets a seriously good haul for his birthday, but he also gets--as the title of the chapter suggests--a few surprises. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Harry and the gang return to Hogwarts via the Floo Network, and are sure not to get any ash on the carpet. In the fallout of the Fat Lady's overindulgence over the holidays, Alice and Martha finally figure out the true meaning behind some of Lupin's most enigmatic words. And finally, Slughorn does a very convincing job of covering up his darkest memory. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's Christmas at the Burrow, and everyone is celebrating (except the poor garden gnome being held hostage on the top of the tree). The Weasley family listens to Celestina Warbeck's marvelous tunes, with varying degrees of enthusiasm, and Harry takes the opportunity to catch up with his buddy Arthur and wise old Professor Lupin, whom we neither like nor dislike this chapter. Finally, Scrimgeour should watch out, because this young man may have finished his meal, but he's about to have Minister of Magic for dessert. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Slughorn's Christmas party has everything we could ever ask for, from a real vampire (though sadly, it's not Rufus Scrimgeour), to a Weird Sisters sighting. Harry spends the night dodging all his least favorite people, and the Queen Slug stoops to astonishing lows when she invites the King Slug to be her date. It's a relatively short chapter, but there's still plenty of time for Ron to be a jerk, for Luna to inform everyone about the Rotfang Conspiracy and for Harry to obsess over Malfoy's late night wanderings.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Awkward teenage romance features heavily in this chapter, which clearly served as the main inspiration for the makers of the sixth movie. Ron's insecurities both on and off the Quidditch pitch lead to some very unfair and frustrating interactions with Hermione (though it was pretty awful that she probably/might have/could plausibly have snogged Krum two years ago). And as Harry grapples with his purely elder brotherly feelings toward Ginny, we are introduced to a new character who is very emotionally mature: the monster inside his chest. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In Dumbledore’s office, we dive deep into the Pensieve, a storytelling device that gets more and more convenient each week. Thankfully, Phineas is no longer there to give his commentary! We hear from old Caractacus Burke, see Jude Law drink gin, and even catch a glimpse of one (possibly two) components of the homicidal triad. But shhh, nobody knows about any of this except Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Leanne — oh, and Malfoy knows, of course.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Amanda Frickle and Uncle Sam's Sorting Hat to sort prominent U.S. presidents into Hogwarts houses.Be aware that the show contains spoilers from the Harry Potter series as well as a few political discussions.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

It’s time for another Hogsmeade trip, but unfortunately for all of us, it’s just not as exciting as it used to be. Zonko’s is all boarded up, the weather is freezing, and Tonks/Eeyore is lurking on every corner. But, ooh, at least they have extra-large sugar quills! While “nothing” is in the back getting more firewhisky (and placing Imperius curses on unlucky Hogwarts students), someone ends up getting cursed through a hole in her glove. And no, Hagrid, it’s not Ron or Hermione.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Harry has his first foray into Quidditch captaincy, and frankly, he's never been more fanciable. During the keeper tryouts, Hermione is a bit dishonest - she is a prefect after all! And after threatening to break down his front door, the trio finally mends fences with Hagrid. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The time is ripe for this chapter discussion, or at least, riper than it was for Humphrey Belcher’s cheese cauldron. Harry finds himself in Bob Ogden’s memory (though thankfully not in his outfit), Dumbledore is as enigmatic as ever about his hand injury, and Alice and Martha rediscover their true identities: the Half-Blood Pince and the Half-Blood Pomfrey. But don’t worry, this has everything to do with the prophecy…. and we certainly hope that it will help you survive.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Harry, Ron, and Hermione enjoy their first few days back in classes such as Runes and Defense, though they continue to feel guilty about dropping Care. Snape tries his hand at interior decorating, and Slughorn discovers that Harry has indeed inherited his mother's talent for Potions. Alice and Martha are thrilled to discuss the titular chapter of the book, whose name proves to be even more apt on a reread. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Does the Hogwarts Express have a conductor? Is Episkey or Tergeo more useful? Is Tonks's new Patronus a wolf, a werewolf, or an Alfonso werewolf? And what is the difference between chocolate gateau and chocolate cake? Alice and Martha are back to answer the most important questions of the book thus far. Plus, Nearly Headless Nick digs for hot gossip and Ron proves himself to be an extremely, extremely loyal friend. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The gang makes their way back to Hogwarts, though Harry may have to make a trip back to London first (no spoilers!). Romilda Vane makes her first appearance, Ron continues to practice out rude hand gestures, and The Slug Club assembles for the first time, at the invitation of Professor H.E.F Slughorn. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha find just about everything hilarious in this episode, from Arkie Philpott and the Probity Probe to the reappearance of Tom the Bartender. The trio, accompanied by baby Ginny and her parents, is met by security expert Hagrid, who (surprisingly!) fails to protect them from Draco's sick burns. Fred and George rub their success and riches in Ron's face. And finally, Hermione demonstrates her amazing acting abilities while Harry and the Master of Mystery look on in awe. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Harry arrives at the Burrow in the middle of the night, welcomed by Tonks, Mollywobbles, some very hot soup, and plenty of awkward tension. The next day is spent catching up with the Weasleys and Hermione--after all, there isn't much to do at the Burrow, unless you like cooking and chickens! And finally, the trio receives their OWL owls, and Harry learns there's just definitely no way he will be able to become an auror now (and we totally all believe that too). Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

As 2018 comes to a close, we are back to celebrate the holiday season Potter-style. Join us as we sort the characters of Home Alone with the Real Weird Husband / Brother-in-Law (@paulasleson), celebrate New Year's Eve with a very silly assortment of couples and returning guest Shandy, and complete a goofy roll playing scenario with acquaintance of the show Tim Ahlin (@ShutUpTim).Thank you so much for listening to the show. We wish you a wonderful holiday season!If you enjoyed today’s show, please consider supporting us on Patreon (www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters)!

Harry and Dumbledore share a semi-awkward trip to the charming village of Budleigh Babberton, and a critical movie scene is tragically cut from the book. Horace Slughorn (who, contrary to popular belief, is actually NOT a giant Jabba-the-Hutt-like creature) makes his debut. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guests Erin Mallory Long (@erinmallorylong), Jamie Woodham (@jwoodham), and the Sorting Turkey to sort the characters of Friends into Hogwarts houses.Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both Friends and the Harry Potter series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

Dumbledore shows up at Privet Drive to troll the Dursleys and serve alcohol to minors. Harry, who enjoys the oak matured mead immensely, learns that he has inherited Grimmauld Place and, with it, Kreacher (luckily, Harry doesn't have to keep him with him all the time, though). And before Dumbledore and Harry leave pursue that flighty temptress, adventure, Dumbledore gives the Dursleys their final instructions, which have much darker implications on a reread. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

"Cissy" and "Bella" turn up at Severus "Spinmaster" Snape's super modern, well-kept home for light-hearted visit! This chapter is packed with layered foreshadowing and sick burns on Wormtail - what more could we ask for? Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The muggle prime minister finds himself at a loss for words as he learns why Herbert Chorley has been quacking, how the Brockdale Bridge really collapsed (it wasn't rusted rigging or corroded expansion joints after all), and why Fudge has finally been sacked as Minister of Magic. A grim mood has gripped the country, and Alice and Martha can barely conceal their own broad grins as they begin their discussion of book six! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The Real Weird Sisters review the movie of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix with special guests Tim Ahlin (@shutuptim) and Mike Bloom (@AMikeBloomType). Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode.

SPOILER WARNING! DO NOT LISTEN UNTIL YOU HAVE WATCHED FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD! Alice and Martha share their first impressions of the second installment in the Fantastic Beasts franchise. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Come join Alice and Martha for a cup o' dandelion juice as they wrap up their discussion of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Everyone but Harry is back in excellent spirits, thanks to Madam Pomfrey and the fact that none of them apparently cared too much about Sirius (shhhhhh, let's not talk about him right now). Harry struggles with his grief as well as the weight of the prophecy, and he finds comfort from an unlikely source. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this emotional chapter, Harry expresses his grief and anger while Dumbledore remains infuriatingly calm. And at long last, Dumbledore tells Harry everything. (Well, maybe not everything, but everything that he needs Harry to know at the moment.) Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Voldemort has plenty of chances to exercise his high, cold laugh in this chapter, even though his Death Eaters really do prove to be a bunch of bumbling idiots. Martha and Alice get to the bottom of several slightly vague Ministry of Magic plotlines. And, as the chapter title suggests, Double Door and Voldemort finally go head-to-head in one of the most epic duels of the series. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

This chapter, we're in for the biggest shock of the series so far - apparently, there's a Death Eater named Jugson. That's right. Jugson. Let that sink in a minute. In other news, Bellatrix makes her first appearance of the series, and, oh yeah, [SPOILER ALERT] Sirius steps just a little too far past the edge of the veil. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Ministry of Magic security protocols turn out to be alarmingly cavalier as Dumbledore's Army begins its rescue mission. Not a soul is in sight as the group encounters the tank of brains, the Benjamin Button (well, not really Benjamin Button) Bell Jar, and the infamous veil for the first time. It's not all fun and games, though, as the Department of Mysteries claims its first victim-- that's right, say goodbye to the handy penknife. :(Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Finally, Umbridge gets her comeuppance as Hermy executes her "smart plan... really smart plan" and tries to use the centaurs to do her bidding. After a scuffle with Ronan, Bane, Magorian, and a "hard-faced gray centaur," Harry's impatience reaches new levels. After much debate, Luna saves the day and comes up with a plan to fly to the Ministry - and they won't even have to ride on the back of the Kacky Snorgle to do so! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Paul Asleson (@paulasleson) and the Sorting Spring Fling Crown to sort the characters of Mean Girls into Hogwarts houses.Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both Mean Girls and the Harry Potter series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

In this frantic chapter, Harry desperately tries to convince a skeptical Hermione that he doesn't have a "saving-people-thing." Ron attempts to fool Umbridge with a not-so-convincing lie about Peeves, while Ginny is a little more successful in tricking their fellow students into believing someone has let off dangerous (possibly fatal??) magical gas in the corridor. Ultimately, Dumbledore's secrecy, Sirius's mistreatment of Kreacher, and Snape's strained relationship with Harry all converge to create the most terrible of misunderstandings. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Oh my goodness, is that them? Is that the examiners?? Professors Tofty (or is it Toffee?) and Marchbanks have arrived, and when it comes to O.W.L.s (more commonly known as owls) it's not really what you know, it's who you know. From Ernie averaging eight hours of studying a day to Hermione forgetting the definition of ehwaz, everyone is going to be glad when exams are finally over. However, as exams start to wind down, the real drama begins ramping up! Umbridge stoops to new lows, attacking Hagrid in the dead of night, and Voldemort finally acts on his master plan to invade Harry's mind. All things considered, he really is quite considerate with his timing of the vision, as he could have planted it during Harry's very first exam and sabotaged Harry's chances of passing his O.W.L.s at all! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.This episode is brought to you by Green Chef. For $50 off your first order of Green Chef, visit greenchef.us/realweird.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In Hagrid's Tale, Part 2, we finally get the answer to the most important mystery of the book--what Hagrid has been doing and why he has been so beaten up all this time! Harry and Hermy have the pleasure of meeting Grawp, who definitely DOESN'T pick Hermione up or wave her around in the air. Luckily, the ruddy stargazers also spare the foals on their way back to the castle, where they learn that Ron never left a single ring! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.This episode is brought to you by Green Chef. For $50 off your first order of Green Chef, visit greenchef.us/realweird.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Now that Harry's got the basics of Occlumency down, Snape figures he can just carry on on his own with his studies. However, he's so down about Cho (it definitely couldn't be anything else) that he's having trouble enjoying the Easter holidays. When Ginny hatches a dangerous plan, Fred and George are willing to risk it all for Harry to enjoy a quick convo with Sirius. Meanwhile, Queen McGonagall puts it all on the line to vouch for Harry in his pursuit of a career that sounds pretty cool. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.This episode is brought to you by ModCloth. To get 15% off your purchase of $100 or more, go to modcloth.comand enter code realweird at checkout.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

With Umbridge as the new Head of Hogwarts, Fred and George take their troublemaking to the next level. A kitten plate saves Harry from divulging important information, though isn't that the point of the Fidelius Charm? Voldemort begins laying the groundwork for luring Harry to the Ministry (we think?) and Malfoy finds out that Harry has been taking remedial potions. Finally, Harry's world is shattered when he realizes that his father and godfather were the world's biggest tools as teenagers.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!