Two Soggy Bottoms: A GBBO Podcast

(To the tune of Finally by CeCe Peniston) Finally it is Bake Off's last week they all made tiered cake and this podcast describes it. (End of singing to the tune of Finally by CeCe Peniston) Three bakers, three rounds, one winner... If you don't know who it was Ciara and Ciarán will tell you, and if you do know sure listen anyway for a couple of lols and comments from friends of the show. Also if you're reading this following the prompt at the end of the episode and are wondering what secret thing we're working on we can't talk about... it's nothing. So if you have secret thing you want us to work on let us know! Thanks for listening you are our raison d'être. Kisses.

We've made it to the semi finals! And this week the bakers have to be fancy af with financiers, French apple tarts and f-puff pastry. Who will fall at the last hurdle with no chance of lifting the Bake Off trophy/cake stand? Ciara and Ciarán will tell you if you listen to their podcast! Only one episode of this podcast left, if that makes you sad please tell us, we crave your approval. Thanks! x

It's the quarter finals and things are both heating up and sufficiently cooling down in the Bake Off tent. It's Party Week, so naturally the bakers are forbidden from making beige food? Insanity. They try their hands at a nameless caterpillar cake and we learn that Prue says 'buffet' like an absolute posho. Saku's lack of presence is palpable, but it was still a decent episode. Enjoy Ciara and Ciarán's charming and hilarious recap. Tell a friend xx

Folks we've had a mare this week and had to record the podcast twice. The episode is still exceptional, but imagine how impeccable the first take was? No, even better than that! Tech issues aside, it's a sad week as we say goodbye to one of our favourite bakers of the series. Also, we witnessed one of the dumbest time constraints in a technical challenge possibly ever. We laughed, we cried, we craved a big heap of desserts. Enjoy! Also please rate us and subscribe - it'd be a nice thing to do. Love you, bye xxx

It's a tale as old as pie for bake off with a weird, unnecessarily niche week theme; Botanicals Week is here, and it's Halloween. So scary spiced buns, shocking flavour pairings and heart stopping show stoppers are the order of the day. Ciara and Ciarán tell you every thing you need to know, and some things you don't, as the bakers continue to be whittled down. Thanks for listening, force a family member or friend to listen so we can get our numbers up. Cheers xxx

As the old saying goes, don't talk to me until I've had my pastry! Thankfully, we were served it by the bucketload this week thanks to the bakers' abundance of flakey triumphs. Ciara and Ciarán were mildly appalled by some of the ingredients (cream cheese pastry, grapes in a pie?), but held it together for the sake of the award-pending podcast. There were highs (plum innuendos) and lows (plum innuendos), and overall, it was a decent week of baking. The double-elimination loomed, and so too did the mysteries of avoiding a soggy-bottomed pastry. Enjoy! Please rate and share the show, we are attention whores. Love you, bye xxx

It's the hottest day of the year aka the perfect time to put a bunch of bakers in a tent and ask them to make things with chocolate. Want a comparison to what Prue is dressed like, jokes about chocolate boxes and Saku stanning? Have I got the podcast for you, and you're probably already listening to it. Leave reviews, tell a friend and send Ciara and/or Ciarán a message about how much you enjoy the pod/them! Love you xoxo

Get your ovens ready because it's bread week and my God was it boring. Inevitably, we reached peak levels of smug Hollywood. The man very likely brought his bread knife from home, presumably engraved with PH (as he is obsessed with measuring acidity). Sometimes we need to say that enough is enough - a grown woman does not need to make a cow out of bread - she does not owe us anything. Frankly, the wrong person went home and it was an underwhelming episode of television. Luckily, the podcast is exceptional, as always. Enjoy, rate and tell a friend x

Episode two and Ciara and Ciarán are ready to get bickie with it! A marshmallow signature puts some of the bakers in a sticky situation. Custard Creams as a technical has our hosts wondering what is the best classic biscuit. And an illusory showstopper results in questions like "Is this a burger I see before me?" "Can a cheese board be someone's favourite meal?" and "Does aerial hooping make you a better baker?" Tell a friend if you enjoy the show, and tell us too! Praise keeps us alive. Love you! xxx

Your prayers have finally been answered - Ciara and Ciarán are back to gently rinse the new series of The Great British Bake Off. First up, it's Cake Week. Hear all about the new crop of bakers' respective triumphs and shitshows, complete with ample references to beavers. It's a strong start, with some clear favourites already emerging. (Also Ciara apologises for the fact that some rapscallions decided to set off fireworks right outside her window for the entirety of the recording so please excuse the banging lol). Don't forget to generously rate the show, subscribe and tell a friend. Love you, bye xx

It's time... well technically it was time last week but due to personal reasons Ciara and Ciarán could not record until now... The final is here! Only three bakers remain, who will come out on top? After a whole season of fun and frolics, Ciara and Ciarán recap an episode that can only be described as "whelming"! Listen to them get riled up about the challenges, reminisce on the past contestants and make one final reference to the head clown himself. Thanks to everyone who listened along with us! Sorry we're late with the finale, but we hope you enjoy. Leave us a lil comment or send us a lil heart if you had fun listening along. We will miss you all. Keep those bottoms soggy! xoxo

Well smack us on the butts and call us Julie, it's the semi-finals! After many weeks of baking, the bakers are still very much baking. Just four remain, and their skills are put to the test by having to make a bunch of things none of us have heard of before. Ciara and Ciarán feel that this a good semi, in fact, it's a strong semi. Unfortunately, just three bakers progress to the final, which you probably already know if you're listening to this podcast. It was a bit of a surprise though, wasn't it? Also why did they keep going on about Marion Cotillard? Anyway, have a listen to us two clowns rambling on about the episode. Drop a subscribe and (nice) rating if you don't mind, thanks. See you next week for the FINAL! x

Abdul, Janusz, Maxy, Sandro, Syabira, our final five bakers are all vying for a place in the semi finals, but who will make it? Ciara and Ciarán give their thoughts on pastry week, vol-au-vents, springs rolls and pies, oh my! A shock elimination and some really rude judging. This episode had it all! Hope you enjoy it, leave a like, a comment, a review or a baked treat. X

Yes, you've read that correctly. It's custard week and just six bakers remain. Ciara and Ciarán were suitably horrified at the initial concept, but soon warmed to the lunacy as the bakers struggled to make, set and fashionably present various forms of custard. There was a shifty whisker, confusing jumper, human hissing, pistachio soup, not-so-mysterious burning and a fair amount of ass-kissing this week. It was a good episode and we certainly had our fun. Get stuck in, leave a review and send to a friend. Unless you want seven years of bad luck? Wouldn't risk it, tbh. Enjoy x

Ciara and Ciarán are so very brave and managed to watch the entire Halloween week episode of Great British Bake Off without covering their eyes once! Our lucky seven bakers are about to be cut down to a spooky six, six, six. This episode has everything: cake eyeliner, multiple innuendos of the week, MTV's Dan Cortez, and even some baking! Tune in to find out what two people who have no right to be judging ANYONE thought about the episode. When you're all done, subscribe, leave a rating and force a friend to listen! Bon appétit! x

It's episode five and it's all about the desserts. Covid-free Ciara and Ciarán discuss the steamy signature, dreamy technical and creamy showstopper. Can Carole bounce back after a rough few weeks? Will someone other than Maxy and Janusz get star baker? Won't someone give Prue a lozenge? Tune in to find out! Or just watch the episode I guess and then come back to find out what two eejits thought about it. When you're all done, subscribe, leave a rating and force a friend to listen! Bon appétit! x

Hello adoring GBBO fans. Ciara and Ciarán are back at it again, this time for GBBO's Mexican week. Despite Ciara being riddled with Covid, the show must go on, albeit with a gross voice. On this week's episode, they firstly discuss how loose of a concept 'Mexican Week is', also Syabira's obsession with corn, Rebs' difficult week, Carole's necessity in this competition, Noel's position as an absolute nuisance in the tent and lots more. It's a good show, you could frankly spend 27 minutes doing a lot worse. Have a listen, leave a rating, subscribe and share with a friend. We don't ask for much. See you next week. Enjoy! x

Hard to believe we're already three weeks deep into the latest series of The Great British Bake Off. This time, the bakers were tasked with making pizza, pain aux raisins and the strangest savoury sandwich "cakes" ever seen on our television screens pre-watershed. As ever, Carole gave us some delightful sound bites, Sandro continued to be very handsome and Dawn provided ample opportunities for us to body Boris. It was a good episode. Ciara and Ciarán enjoyed themselves, which is all that really matters. Enjoy the podcast, don't forget to like, share and subscribe. Also name your first born after one of us. Thanks, love you, bye x

It's biscuit week in the Bake Off tent. From illusory macarons, to fly graveyards, to edible masks, there's a lot to recap. Ciara and Ciarán are just the pair to do it. So grab a bickie, get comfy and have a listen. Ciarán would like to apologise for calling Carole Scottish, which she isn't, he's just an idiot. DISCLAIMER - all claims about any former prime minister of the United Kingdom are jokes and should be taken as such. Like, subscribe and share x

The new series is back and it's better than ever, presumably. The first episode sees the bakers tasked with doing cakes, innit. Despite the episode being the same duration as a feature-length movie, it was still a joy to behold. The bakers made mini sandwich cakes, a red velvet and then a house-themed cake. It was a good and wholesome time which Ciara and Ciarán enjoyed. Also sorry about the audio quality, geographically there were logistical issues but that will all be resolved in time for next week. Like, subscribe and share x