Bitch.aray

Follow Bitch.aray
Share on
Copy link to clipboard

Arslan and Lamees give their hot takes on any and every thing, peppered with their infamous sass. With one diva in Lahore and the other in Toronto, these Pakistani millennials discuss what life looks like to them.

Arslan Athar, Lamees Wajahat


    • Apr 30, 2021 LATEST EPISODE
    • monthly NEW EPISODES
    • 40m AVG DURATION
    • 52 EPISODES


    Search for episodes from Bitch.aray with a specific topic:

    Latest episodes from Bitch.aray

    Bitcharay Epi 34 - Shame, Shame, Pappi Shame!

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 30, 2021 43:49


    Firstly, shame on us! We know we haven't been as consistent as usual and maybe the content has changed, but in our defence we're (both) still in shitty pandemic situations. So bear with your two besties as they try to gossip some more (Waise... Ramzan hai... toba!) In this epi, the duo take on mental-health and body shaming, and just the general obsession Pakistanis have with shaming everyone!

    Bitcharay Epi 33 - The "F" Word and Ambition

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2021 50:55


    After the annual Aurat March and various global events targeting women, Arslan and Lamees take a look at what it means to be a strong woman and to be a strong ally. Discussions on Meesha and Malala, and how Pakistan treats women. Shout out to their moms for equipping them and leveraging their growth.

    Bitcharay Epi 32 - The Big Day & More Things We Cant Afford

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 19, 2021 31:46


    Arslan and Lamees binged Netflix docuseries "The Big Day" and the duo has some big thoughts. Weddings are expensive, and we're envious of those who get to have huge lavish dos like they imagined they'd have. Here's the hot takes and more!

    Bitcharay Epi 31 - Bling Empire & Rich Bitches

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 7, 2021 46:52


    We hate rich people. But also we love them. We want to be them. As always, the reality tv binges are real, so they've caught up on Bling Empire and relate their own experiences with le riche

    New Year, Same Us: First Epi of 2021

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 20, 2021 45:05


    The truth is, even though it's 2021, Arslan and Lamees are still the bitchy gossip lovers we left in 2020. But like... you love it amirite? The duo talk about habits to leave behind in 2020 like hating on competition, and supporting other desis. There's also a lot of Bridgerton and sex... Bridgerton sex.... Simon... discussed ;)

    Honestly, WTF Was This Year?

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 31, 2020 56:58


    Lamees and Arslan are here to read 2020 for FILTH! They discuss what went down this year as well as what their highs and lows were too. Oh, and they also talk about this newly viral sex-ed niqaab lady on Twitter, just in case you're interested.

    Bitcharay Epi 30 - Rumour Mills and the Talaq Factory

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2020 39:13


    Shahroz Sabzwari is universally annoying right... like we all think he's weird? Anyway, so is Farhan Saeed. Caeed. lol. Arslan and Lamees take a look at some random rumours that have been conjured up in Lollywood as well as their own lives. Also why is everyone getting divorced?

    Bitcharay Epi 29 - Fabulous Lives and KJo is a bitch

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2020 51:47


    If you haven't figured it out by now, Lamees and Arslan are obsessed with Bollywood and reality TV, so this is really just the most perfect show for them. By this we mean watching divas Maheep, Neelam, Seema and Bhavana on The Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives. None of them are A Listers but they're all designers of some sort. Also what the fuck is wrong with Karan Johar? Yo, Rekha out.

    Bitcharay Epi 28 - Much Ado About Nothing

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2020 35:57


    this episode is a clusterfuck of a lot of different things, like syra and shehryar's steamy shoot and other photoshoots that got Pakistani panties in a bunch.

    Bitcharay Epi 27 - MasterTilesxJalalSons

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 13, 2020 37:02


    The worst collab to have happened, but the best. This wedding was one of the most loved things to hate on, Arslan and Lamees unpack it all.

    Bitcharay Epi 26 - US Elections vs Selections

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 9, 2020 36:47


    so we said Biden! to Trump. haha. ha. Ok ok, a Canadian and Pakistani tackle their understanding of US politics alongside their own experiences. We also want the electoral college gone and please stop putting Kamala in saris.

    Bitcharay Epi 25 - 25% life CRISIS

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 2, 2020 43:26


    Your favourite divas both turned 25 this year, so they discuss their quarter life crises and how to get through them. Also do any of you know how to use a pressure cooker? How many daals do you know?

    Bitcharay Epi 24 - Ban Bina Chain Kahan Re?

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 24, 2020 79:35


    Tiktok, Gala biscuits, Churails and Tanishq. Ban ban ban. Arslan and Lamees think of all the losses we suffer because of these bans and censorship. Tune in for their renditions of some notable ads!

    Bitcharay Epi 23 - Stop Staring, Bitch!

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 13, 2020 33:41


    You walk down the road; you're stared at. You eat at a dawat; you're stared at. You breathe; you're stared at. Staring is our national pastime and it ranges from the creepy uncle to the random aunty down the road. Everyone just loves to stare at everyone, and it's annoying AF.

    Bitcharay Epi 22 - Deepika's Maal Chats

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2020 33:40


    Oh dear Bollywood, what have we done now? With the industry still in arms over Sushant Singh's death and Kangana Ranaut's new webs- sorry, revelations, a new story has emerged. Arslan and Lamees try to make sense of this wild timeline and the misogyny associated. Also... does Modi know this is a pandemic?

    Bitcharay Epi 21 - Manolo Blahnik, a love letter from Pakistan

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 24, 2020 46:30


    While everyone obsesses over (a patriotic green) pair of satin mules donned by the infamous Maryam Nawaz, Arslan and Lamees question why we reduce female politicians to their clothes but also admit they never liked Benazir's blazer looks. A little this, a little that but never politically correct.

    arslan benazir
    Bitcharay Epi 20 - Morning Shows and Other Wild Beasts

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 18, 2020 42:16


    Why are morning shows such a freaking Macy's parade? Arslan and Lamees talk about their first run ins with the phenomenon and what it's led to. Shoutouts to Nida Yasir and Sanam Jung... go sweetie, give us nothing!

    Bitcharay Epi 19 - Pandering to Goray

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 11, 2020 38:03


    In this extended rant, the two comment on desi representation and the cost of being seen. Do Aziz Ansari and Hasan Minhaj compare? Where is Zayn Malik on the spectrum?

    V5E4: Shendi and Social Suicide

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 4, 2020 55:22


    This is 50 minutes of the cohosts laughing. The duo tackle fusion events and dread invites to MaShaLimas because of their confused closets. Very much like the cup of tea you drink after a long wedding week, these two friends take a minute to enjoy each others company after celebrating their hard work.

    Bitcharay Epi 18 - Garlic Mayo Gender Roles

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 31, 2020 59:27


    Arslan and Lamees discuss gender politics, gender roles and the margin between man and woman. What does it mean to speak like a man and sit like a lady? Also shout out to paratha rolls.

    V5E3: Ladkewaale

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 28, 2020 53:26


    Akshay, this one's for you and your mom. Obviously after ladkiwaale, we have to discuss the ladkewaale! Arslan and Lamees reminisce about their experiences dealing with them and being with them. While guys have an immense pressure on them to perform financially and other -allys... does it compare to the things the girls and their families do?

    Bitcharay Epi 17 - Censorship ka Tamasha

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 24, 2020 26:16


    Pakistan is producing a plethora of engaging and substantial content, but where is it? Hundreds of authors, artists and more are being censored at the hands of Pakistanis limiting us from some amazing work. Lamees and Arslan discuss publishing bans, Zindagi Tamasha and more.

    V5E2: Ladkiwaale

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2020 52:16


    Lamees and Arslan visit the wedding from the girl's side today. They explore expectations and struggles the girls go through pre, during and post marriage and how the families play a role in it. Needless to say, Lamees is stressed and Arslan's ready to buy his shoes.

    Bitcharay Epi 16 - No Aunties Please!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2020 24:52


    Lamees rants about nosy busybody aunties and Arslan analyzes his own experiences with social media. Why cant people let people live?! The disregard for privacy ranges from inconsiderate to dangerous.

    V5E1: Shaadi Ka Laddu

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 15, 2020 52:29


    It's shaadi szn aka every day in Pakistan. The duo look back at favourite memories and trends and visualize their ideal weddings. Arslan sets aside shoes and Lamees picks jewelry.

    V4E4: Sastey Nashey and Company

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 7, 2020 46:30


    Smoking, drinking, blazing... nasheeli naina.. what could be bad habits that we indulge in as Pakistani youth? How much of it is actually a problem plaguing us versus a good time with friends. Drinking is great until someone gets into a car, and edibles are awesome until they kick in.

    Bitcharay Epi 15 - Fast Fashion

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2020 25:24


    Arslan and Lamees discuss how important it's become for people to have a new outfit every time they post on instagram. Are these fashion goals or fashion fails? How much does this affect the world we're in, and brands who need to chill

    V4E3: Dhoka

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 1, 2020 49:38


    LSD(hoka) baby, here's the D we've been waiting for. Dhoka, betrayal or cheating someone, comes in so many forms. Arslan and Lamees think of some lighthearted examples and shaping examples... and as Arslan often reiterates, we came here alone and leave alone so this one's for team #alone

    Bitcharay Epi 14- Plastic Surgery

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 28, 2020 26:44


    Nips and tucks are now being replaced with magical injections, Arslan and Lamees discuss the two and if it's going too far. They compare attitudes and results in the West and East... and obviously compare what they'd get done

    V4E2: Sex

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 24, 2020 42:15


    Lamees and Arslan talk about that one thing no desi child should ever talk about: sex! Yup, they went there! They talk about all the weird ways desi families tiptoe around the topic and how they came to learn about sex. They also explore the hook-up culture and what is supposed to happen on the infamous 'wedding night'.

    Bitcharay Epi 13: Indian Matchmaking

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2020 29:04


    I'm Sima from Mumbai and I have ruined Lamees and Arslan's weekend. Yes, the duo binged the new reality show on Netflix and these are their thoughts on some of the major characters and the rishta process. Stay tuned for more thoughts on Shaadis and Rishta Aunties at a later time ;)

    V4E1: Love

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 17, 2020 48:40


    Pyaar deewana hota hai, aur ussey bhi zyada hum dono. Arslan and Lamees recollect their experiences with crushes and intense love. They discuss unrequited loves and forbidden romances, as well as awkward teenage times. As they get older, they recognize their needs in relationships and what love means to them now.

    Bitcharay Epi 12: Jada's Entanglement and Open Marriages

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2020 26:12


    "Yes, I was in an entanglement with him", and other iconic lines from the Will & Jada Red Table Talk. Arslan and Lamees talk about open marriages and our fave couples (Deepika and Ranveer!!!) in the industry. They discuss what loyalty looks like and if every marriage is imperfect.

    V3E4: Adulting

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 10, 2020 49:41


    It wouldn't be growing up until you realize eventually you have to ADULT. Arslan and Lamees soon realize it doesn't mean eating ice cream on weekdays, it means taxes and bills. Arslan is still figuring out what goes in a car, and Lamees drives him insane. Listen in for the terrible realizations on how the system set us up for failure, and the fact that our salaries are a damn lie!

    Bitcharay Epi 11: Lahore's #MeToo Moment

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 6, 2020 27:22


    Arslan and Lamees discuss the outpour of allegations and incidents students have been sharing about abusive teachers at renowned Lahore institutes. The culture of entrusting schools and teachers, and how our awaam responds to students. Lamees draws parallels with St Michaels Boys' School, while Arslan further explains the LGS and LUMS cultures of ragging.

    V3E3: Puberty

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2020 47:04


    Oh growing pains. Arslan and Lamees recollect their very different experiences with razors, periods and cracking voices. The awkwardness of puberty is traumatizing but the two of them find a way to laugh it off.

    Bitcharay Epi 10: Is Mahira Khan still relevant?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 29, 2020 26:23


    Arslan and Lamees love Mahira Khan, so they mean this with the best intentions.... but what is she doing? What is Mashion and why did Bin Roye need to be on TV and cinema?

    V3E2: Parenting

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 26, 2020 49:56


    Oho meri maa! Arslan and Lamees roll their eyes at some of their parents' methods but also thank them. Arslan's mom is cool, mashallah se and Lamees' mom interrupts the podcast.

    Bitcharay Epi 9: Bollywood or Bullywood

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 22, 2020 24:10


    After the tragic loss of Sushant Singh Rajput, we've become even more aware of how dangerous nepotism in Bollywood is. We've seen and heard of new comer experiences that really make us think KJo really isn't the cutie Koffee with an obsession for all things sex and gossip. Arslan and Lamees discuss what that looks like, and what the future of Bollywood consumption can look like!

    V3E1: Growing Up in the Gulf

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 19, 2020 44:58


    Arslan and Lamees revisit where the sass started, the UAE. Although settled a flight from (Lamees' is longer), the two recollect growing up there. They talk about 1. Gems Schools 2. Is this a fish market? 3. Colour coded Arabic and Islamic books 4. Choeuifat. Choifat. Choeirieiiffat!?

    Bitcharay Epi 8: Lilly Singh

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 15, 2020 22:15


    Arslan and Lamees, or mostly Lamees rants, discuss Lilly Singh and her journey as an influencer/Bawse babe. Lamees declares her the Priyanka Chopra of YouTube and Arslan thinks about "shexy shexy sharees"

    V2E4: Meet the Doctor

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 12, 2020 38:19


    In a final conclusion to the second volume, Arslan and Lamees book an appointment with Mujib, a Chicago-based doctor and aspiring pharmacist. They discuss the attitudes of South Asian parents when it comes to their health, how big of an issue diabetes is and whatsapp totkas for COVID19

    Bitcharay Epi 7: BLM

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 8, 2020 34:15


    It's been a long week, and a life changing week. Protests and discussions are taking place globally on Black lives. We need to end police brutality and come to terms with the closeted racism that we have ignored. Arslan and Lamees talk about their experiences, celebrity responses and types of activism. for more information, check our instagram.

    V2E3: Physical Health

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 5, 2020 46:49


    I just ate McDonald's. But technically that's okay right? I can take a break. Join Arslan and Lamees who get to meet physical trainer and coach, Azam. Azam teaches them about discipline and balance, while dispelling myths in South Asia about fitness. Check him out @_mtfitnesss on instagram

    Arslan's Birthday Party

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2020 17:34


    Happy 25th Birthday Arslan! Here's to 25 years of sass, style and smiles. A casual, lighthearted convo about his interests, style must haves and dreams for the podcast. Wash the dishes or run the laundry, throw this on and enjoy!

    V2E2: Mental Health

    Play Episode Listen Later May 29, 2020 48:37


    Arslan and Lamees pet the giant elephant in the room, mental health. South Asian circles are getting better at addressing it, but at huge costs that can be damaged beyond repair. They are joined by expert empath and speaker, Jessie Brar. You can find her @jessieebrar on Instagram, or Presents of Mind on Anchor.fm

    Bitcharay Epi 6: The Flagbearer of Nepotism

    Play Episode Listen Later May 25, 2020 30:00


    Nepotism. Karan Johar. Main Colonel ki biwi hoon. Love Aaj Kal 2. Listen to Arslan and Lamees discuss privilege and power, and Kangana Ranaut's points.

    V2E1: Coronavirus

    Play Episode Listen Later May 22, 2020 41:57


    What week of isolation are we in? We don't remember, and neither do these bitcharay. But what they do know is all the weird decisions that Pakistanis have been making and how much Canadians are dying to get out. Hey, at least it's not America!

    Bitcharay Epi 5: Resurrection Ertugrul

    Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2020 21:30


    As Monday tradition states, a mini rant is what's needed to start the week off on a clean slate. Or something like that. Arslan and Lamees talk about the phenomenon that is Ertugrul.

    V1E4: Family

    Play Episode Listen Later May 15, 2020 48:09


    In a conclusion to Volume 1, Arslan and Lamees discuss family politics and the effects it has on our relationships. Is blood thicker than water? Do we like khalas or phupos? Stay tuned!

    Bitcharay Epi 4: What's The Deal With Influencers

    Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2020 22:26


    Arslan and Lamees dissect influencer lifestyles, their corona-content and Adele's weight loss. Is there space for fat people anymore?

    Claim Bitch.aray

    In order to claim this podcast we'll send an email to with a verification link. Simply click the link and you will be able to edit tags, request a refresh, and other features to take control of your podcast page!

    Claim Cancel