Drunk Zelda

Honestly we have no excuse. We we prepping for our hot gurl vax summer and then the fricken pandemic was like NOT ANYMORE BITCHES!! So this episode is from many years ago, but hey at least Audacity remembers our re-mapped hotkeys, am i rite? Oh, episode description? We got the hammer! We did a dungeon! We drank BEER.

*Clears the cobwebs* OH HEEEEEYYYYY! It's us! Sit tight for the usual nonsensical ramblings of two drunkards with an added bonus of some BEAUTIFUL paper flipping ASMR.  We make some eye puns, we shockingly become Gollum, and question why Zelda always gets kidnapped.  

We're a downright MESS in this episode but we promise that you'll learn a lot. Hannah once again misguides Jeremy all over Hyrule in search of item upgrades, we befriend the evil zoras, discover the magic mirror, and clear the dungeon in 5 minutes flat. Please don't judge us, but maybe consider hiring us for your toddler's birthday party over zoom.

In this episode, Hannah "reads" aka slurs directions, Jeremy flies through the temple with the aid of the pegasus boots, and we talk about sand. As the philosophical Anakin Walker once said, "I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating — and it gets everywhere." which I think we can all agree with. Join us as we sing, dance, and hiccup our way through another episode!

There comes a time in every Link's life when he must play through his first dungeon of the game. And people of the Internet, that time has come for A Link to the Past. Let's raise a blue potion to us beating the first dungeon of the game in just under 40 seconds. This episode features Hey Ya by Outkast and believe it or not, they aren't guest stars; that's just us singing, so RCA Records and SONY Music, please don't sue.

This is a sober message from the Sober Zelda team. Hey it's been a minute, huh? Even a year-long pandemic can't stop US from drinking! We're jumping into the next game, A Link to the Past, where we laugh, cry, and even audition for the role of Zelda for the upcoming Breath of the Wild 2. (Probably set to release sometime over the next 5 years.) The last two seasons have been so much fun so let's hope there's only more boomerangs, nuts, and obviously alcohol! Cheers to that!

hello and welcome to *burp* the season three introduction to the DRUNK ZELDA podcast, formerly known as the Hannah and Jeremy get Drunk and Talk About Zelda Podcast. Join us for an intellectual introduction on our foray into A Link to the Past!

Listen, we get it. It's been a hot hot hot minute since we have uploaded anything but like there was a pandemic and oh yeah there still is a pandemic. Make sure to tune in to listen to some hardcore ASMR snacking and get first access to our onlyfans.

Grab a handful of handles and listen to the dream team talk about their experience playing the least popular Zelda title in the franchise. Tbh we kind of rip it apart. BUT GUYS WE FRIKKIN DID IT.

WE DID IT! LIKE WE ACTUALLY DID THE WHOLE THING. We go on our final journey through the Valley of Death *cue music*, we find that Jesus is literally within us, and we talk about Link's sexuality because why not? Stay tuned next week for our final thoughts on the game that led to our outrageous consumption of mimosas, vodka, and delicious coconut seltzers!

We found a ghost town, died ten million times, got the SPELL SPELL, jousted for our lives, and also the magic word is penis... mom, please don't listen to this episode.

Isn't it Murphy's Law or something that whenever you try to die in a Zelda game you end up living through the first 10 minutes of the podcast? Is that an old Hylian Proverb? Why am I asking you? Anyways, this episode Hannah finally gets a grip and begins actually reading the map, Jeremy keeps making different Car references (not the movie, please don't sue us Disney), and we naturally talk about bread.

Sometimes when I'm editing this sober I often wonder how we've made it two seasons without our parents calling to make sure we haven't totally flown off the deep end. In more important news, we make it to yet another dungeon! Sometimes this game feels like a marathon but this time it felt like a...you guessed it! MAZE! We try out our falsettos, wallpapering, and pray to our lord. See ya next week!

In the latest episode of us being fucking awesome we totally learned a new spell AND learned an upward sword thrusting technique (ew, get your mind out of the gutter). Okay but really this episode kicks ass and we made it to the 4th palace or dungeon or whatever. Wait do you actually want a description of this episode? Hannah manspreads and Jeremy learns how to shoot fire from his sword. Ew, get your mind out of the gutter AGAIN.

Ok we know it's Drunk Zelda but this one is gonna be "we're super fucked-up Zelda." Join us for an in-depth discussion down the gin and juice rabbit hole. Plus this was actually a hard dungeon and was sort of our kryptonite, if we were juiced-up Superwomen. Actually though, let's talk about dicks.

We powered through Dungeon 2 like fucking bosses like did you see us take down that red iron knuckle without taking any damage? Let's talk about power gloves, what we were like as 8-year-olds, and honesty you have gross teeth.

Listen, we've had many journeys through death mountain at this point in our lives but this was by far the hardest one yet. Join Lucy and Todd as they discuss puppets, how grinding is triggering, and somehow Hannah (aka Todd) continues to be perplexed by a relatively simple world map.

We finally take a deep dive into the first dungeon in this game. Along the way we encounter some new enemies, hang out with some hammer bros, and talk far too much about horses. Specifically horse meat. Sit back, relax, throw on some headphones, drink some wine, or tequila or if you feel wild, both, and help us save Princess Zelda!

We finally take a dive into Hyrule field, a few towns due to Hannah's impeccable navigation, and we scandalously go to Princess Zelda's bedchamber. As per usual, grab a drink and buckle in to our journey into the Adventure of Link!

The goddesses of Hyrule have blessed you with season two of DRUNK ZELDA! Grab the cheapest beer you can find and join our pre-cap discussion where we talk about our expectations and insights for Adventure of Link. Saddle up, Epona, you beautiful equestrian.

In this episode we sing even more, give our genuine opinions about this game, and reflect on our drunken journey to get here. For those of you who have stuck around through our first season, we thank you so much for all the love, support, and feedback. Next season we play The Adventures of Link so stick around for another drunken batch of Tom foolery, Elton John covers, and, you guessed it, lots of liquor.

Season 1 is coming to a close which means it's finally time to face the big man himself: Ganon. Along the way we create a theme song, Jeremy expresses his devotion to potato chips, and for some reason getting three rupees is harder than defeating Ganon. Fun Fact: Hannah was wearing a blue bobbed wig this episode

Listen we do a little rendition of JoJo, we kill it on the NES classic save files, and we may or may not be finding comfort in hummus.  Fun Fact: We completely gorged on nachos after the episode. I mean doesn't everyone deserve a little "treat yo'self" moment when you're this close to the end? Also, why do we love croissants so much?

We forgot to buy meat at our local underground butcher and we wish we were kidding but also WE MADE HISTORY in this episode by NOT dying once! Basically we're masterminds at this game now and Ganon should cower in fear.

Enter the sex dungeon. Where we get amazing weapons and lose our fucking shit over the all-powerful wizzrobes.

GUYS THIS IS OUR FIRST RAGE QUIT!! We stock up on MAD hearts, quote Elton John way to much, and appreciate bucks of all ages. Welcome to Santa's sex dungeon.

Listen to us absolutely destroy the fourth dungeon. Like we're talking taking baby from a candy easy. Or maybe like eating budget mac 'n cheese on a yacht like hannah did when she was growing up. Osha needs to check out ladder deaths too, geez.

In this dungeon we play the third dungeon, find and lose the lost woods, and talk a lot about nuts.

It took us forever to find the second dungeon. But we found it. And then we played it. We fight about the boomerang A LOT.

Hello we made it to the first dungeon and THEN WE PLAYED THE FIRST DUNGEON.

Our first official episode! Join us in finding our drunken way to the first dungeon. Spoiler: it took 90 minutes for us to find it.

This is what Drunk Zelda is all about! In case you didn't know, we get drunk and we talk about Zelda.