Hold My Beer Let Me Explain

What words preceded "I think therefore I am"? It was basically, "I doubt it" which is what you should be doing any time you walk into a museum. Find out why you can't trust what you learn in a museum, and the controversy behind them. Erica is talking about museums!

They're tied at the hip, or liver, or something. This week, Erica explains Siamese Twins, specifically the first documented pair. Discovered swimming in a river, in typical old-timer American fashion, we invited them to join a freak show. But it gets weirder, the first pair fought the man and started their own proprietary venture to showcase their oddities. They also started their own families, which means someone had do something during the others sexual intercourse. Come ponder with us what the other does while the other is expanding their family tree... euchre, dominos, meditation? Also, is Dr. Carson a vampire? This will all make more sense if you just listen to this episode.

From ancient fall traditions to the modern day candy grab, Ashley explains the odd traditions of the past & how they really haven't changed, just evolved. She explains the origin story, & it's links with the dead. You'll also learn about why we do some of the things we do around this spooky season like bonfires, trick-or-treat, and bobbing for apples. We also get a detailed explanation of how candy corn is made & why it's garbage. Halloween history has never been more hilarious.

They're raising barns, and we're raising hell. Ashley explains Amish people, their religion, their rules, & dispels some common myths. Find out what the Amish beef is with technology, enjoy some tales of Rumspringa, & educate yourself with a couple of sinful drunks. Listen to the end for some freestyle Weird Al Yankovich rapping. 

Think about it, what do you really know about writing? Probably nothing. Erica explains what kind of materials we write on, what we wrote with, and how that evolved through time to shape the way we do things today. From skywriting to exotic pens, from personal chalkboards to computers, Erica explains it all & Ashley pipes in with terrible Dad jokes. China, this one's for you because Erica's informing the masses that you invented writing, so cheers!

A tornado will make a midwesterner get moving faster than you can say "Ope". While science is still trying to figure out exactly how it happens, Ashley is going to try and explain some of that while drinking. She also explains how to stay safe from missile corn, what to do if you encounter a tornado while driving, & busts some 'nader myths. Prepare to have your mind...blown. This Dad joke comes to you courtesy of Ashley. Erica is not to blame for this very bad joke. 

You use it or you don't, but you really should use it, stinky. Erica explains how water alone can't actually clean you. As promised, she touches on laundry as promised in previous podcasts. Figure out why it's important, where it comes from, and enjoy the myriad of jokes we have at the expense of a kid named Jake who may or may not listen to this podcast. Sorry Jake. This episodes for you buddy.

More than just dirndls, lederhosen, and beer. Sort of. Why is it called Oktoberfest when it starts in September? Ashley explains this and also explains the origins, what the Munich festival that started it all is like, and also what the positioning says about your relationship status. That last bit was the podcast version of click bate. Download and listen to find out what this big beer fest is all about. Subscribe & give us a friendly review while you're at it! Follow us on Instagram @holdmybeer_letmeexplain to get some funny pictures and additional aid bits.

Sasquatch, Yodeling, & Bears, Oh My! Ashley explains how to stay safe from bears. This isn't your ordinary bear safety PSA. We learn that yodeling could be safer than bear bells, but that's unverified. We also learn that Sasquatch is potentially looking for us; also unverified. This has practical tips gleaned from the National Park Service and other resources, but is laced with comedic relief to make the idea of being mauled by a bear a little more palatable. 

Canadian Geese, The Real Threat. Erica lays out how geese, specifically Canadian Geese, are the real threat to look out for. According to her unverified statistics -out of 10 people- more have encountered geese than bears. No bells, or ditching beef jerky will save you. Really, according to her research, little will. Don't listen to this podcast in a park. We also don't condone drop kicking geese, so don't listen to this podcast and go assault your local flock.  

Sometimes pronounced Diabeetus, let's learn about what Wilford Brimley was trying to tell us about. Ashley explains the inner workings of diabetes such as, how you get it, how to manage it, & what's going on inside the body. It's more than just "high sugar" so listen up because odds are, you or someone you know is affected. 

Don't know what it is? Neither do most people. Erica is going to explain it though. Big proponents of Reiki be warned, she's less than enthusiastic on the "scientific" research. Learn about the practice, the crystals that need charging, and how you can also pick up the practice. You can get it remotely, apparently. This episode is laden with sarcasm & tons of jokes at the expense of others. Sorry. Sort of.

How many drunken rants have you listened to? How many times have you laughed yourself silly because of the bizarre ways a drunk person explains a topic? If you like other shows where drunk people explain things to you, you're probably going to like this podcast. It is rude, crude, and lewd. We go forth and explain topics without a whole lot of regard for what everyone else thinks. If this podcast sounds right for you, GREAT! Subscribe to it. It's educational. It's funny. If it doesn't, you should probably go download something a bit more wholesome. We're here to talk about stuff & one-half of this podcast doesn't care what you think so that's a 50% chance someone will care about the criticism you have. However, 100% of us would love to hear your positive feedback. 4 new episodes will release on September 5th & continue to come, every thirsty Thursday!