Kottage-tek - MP3 Edition

We finally get a live audience and boy do they ever like us. Ok, so it helps that they are family and well bribed with food and liquor. My applause sign probably didn’t hurt either. Everyone went snowshoeing today and it was nice to just go for a quiet walk in the woods and enjoy the peace and quiet of winter in the back country. Now most people don't realize that there are lots of different designs and they all serve a unique purpose. Largely determined by the aboriginal tribe, the area where they lived, and what they used them for. There is everything from bearpaw for maneuvering through dense bush to the traditional ones with the tail which were for traveling across wide-open country like crossing large lakes. The tail helps keep you walking in a straight line. We also noticed that the couch family have their rink setup on the lake but this year they’ve gone overboard by installing lighting for night skating. All they need now is the beaver tail concession. Of course we did get to our beer of the day Dark Helmut from Beau’s All Natural Brewing Co. in Vanleek Hill Ontario It's an extra strong version of a german black lager which comes in at 7.3% ABV. It uses only traditional, Aramis, and Hersbrucker hops giving it a IBU of 33. You can find more info at Beau’s All Natural Brewing Co.

I solved the sagging rain gutter problem by installing a rain chain. This is a concept from ancient Japan that became popular in North America during the Victorian and Craftsman eras. I did a Kottage Knowhow video on our YouTube channel. I experiment with roasting my own coffee beans using a hot air popcorn popper and it worked out really well. I sourced some green beans from Ashanti Rostery Cafe in Elora. Then I dusted off the old Proctor Silex Popcorn Pumper. I dropped in about ¾ of a cup of beans and plugged it in. The whole process took about 12 minutes to get to a medium dark roast. All the way to second crack! Checkout our YouTube channel. I had a problem helping Karen get the capsule off a bottle of white wine. After slicing open my finger I discovered it was a screw top bottle and not a cork with a capsule. This did give us the chance to perfect the “mandaid”. You cannot beat paper towel and duct tape to stop the bleeding. Our beer of the day is Shoulders of Giants Imperial IPA. It comes from Flying Monkeys Craft Brewery in Barrie. This beer uses Galaxy, Falconers Flight, and Amarillo, hops to give it an IBU of 86. Be careful though, it comes in at a whopping 10% ABV in a 750ml bottle. Definitely not sessionable.

We had some serious storms with high winds come through the north end of the lake. Everyone thought it was a tornado that cut a path through the forest, but it was actually a “downburst” that flattened all the trees. Everyone had to literally cut their way down the cottage road but at least there will be lots of free firewood. With all the trees down, power was out for quite a while. Hydro One has a pretty sweet mobile app that lets you see where the outages are and what the expected repair time is. Really cool.. Bruce mentioned “The Dam Grill” in Port Severn. It’s a great little restaurant right on the water. It has great food, cold beer, and a huge deck for those great summer evenings. A nice place to stop on the way up to Muskoka. Our beer of the day is Red Racer IPA. It comes from Central City Brewing in Surry BC. IPA is a style of ale that was fashioned to survive the long voyage from England to India during the British colonization. Hops, hops, and more hops! This beer uses German Magnum, Centennial, Amarillo, and Simcoe hops to give it an IBU of 80. Be careful though, it comes in at 6.5% ABV.

We start out with a whole wheel of Oka cheese and nobody likes to cut the cheese more than Walter, Bruce , and I. Nothing beats Charcuterie at the cottage. We mostly talked about one of the latest invasions in Muskoka. Its not party animals from southern Ontario, Its Eurasia Milfoil. A water plant that grows incredibly fast and can literally kill a lake if not controlled. This is definitely not a project for the cottage mower. Even with a snorkle. We also touched on another invasive species in Muskoka. THis one is destroying beer fridges all around the lake. These are those "girlie beer" that come in silver cans or have fruit flavours to spoil the watery beer. Lets all support Ontario Craft Beer. Of course we did get to our beer of the day from Collective Arts Brewing

Boy when Bruce said Deb dragged her canoe from out east, he wasn’t kidding. There were some serious holes worn all the way through the fiberglass. Luckily, Walter has lots of experience repairing fiberglass boats, so we put him to work. . After most of the prep work was done, we headed into Honey Harbour for the jazz festival. It was surprisingly impressive. It was a small festival, but the talent was fantastic. Once we had our fill of classy jazz music, we headed over to Coldwater for the steampunk festival. It’s a bit like HG Wells lands in the Victorian industrial revolution. There was lots of steampunk related stuff and people in full costume as well a quite a few sweet ratrods. I am not even going to try to explain it to you. You will just have to google “steampunk” or “ratrod” to find out for yourself. Of course, we did get to our beer of the day, its Georgian Bay Beer. A lite crisp beer, great for an afternoon on the dock. Its brewed by Hockley Valley Brewing Company in Orangeville. You can find more info at http://www.georgianbaybeer.ca/ or http://www.hockleybeer.ca/ There will be links to them on our website, kottage-tek.com.

We started the weekend by visiting Christie's Mill in Port Severn for a nice dinner together. There was a wonderful musician named R. G. Peever playing guitar that we thoroughly enjoyed. He seems to go by the name "JazzTEX". wonder what "JazzTex is up to now?. We finally got around to installing the new vanity in the master ensuite and boy was it a challenge. We had to pull all the rabbits out of the hat for this one to get all the plumbing into a three-inch space behind the cabinet drawers. Of course, we have been calling Bruce "squirrel" for years and now he has the T-shirt to prove it. I think we need more T-shirts myself. Of course we did get to our beer of the day from Nickelbrook Brewing in Burlington. It's Naughty Neighbour American Pale Ale. Named after anundefeated Roller Derby Champ it is bold and in your face. It is sessionable at 4.9% ABV and 38 IBU.

Well I think Bruce and I were in fine form this time. Our segment on Cottage Cheese finally aired on Cottage Life TV so that's our seven minutes of fame. We are going to have to do one more show and a commercial if we are going to get to 15 minutes. The snow has been so heavy this winter that it tore the snow guards off the new steel roof. Its black fly season again and they are swarming like mad this year. Either Deb is going to have to sacrifice herself to them or we need ten pounds of rotting flesh. We also poked some good fun at the proverbial red neck. Our beer of the day is from Barnstorer Brewery in Barrie. It'sDeadstick Milk Stout. A sweet milk stout that tastes of roasted coffee and dark choc0late.. You can find more info at Barnstorer Brewery

It became blatantly obvious that beer belongs in glasses and not potato chips. And just to ice the cake, mother nature is keeping us snowed in well into the spring. Even the cottage road looks like it belongs in the winter Olympics. Thanks to the heavy snow pack the spring runoff is flooding the crawl space. We had to engineer some kind of floor drain to move the water to the sump pump well so it could then be pumped out to the still frozen lake. Skating anyone? Our beer of the day is from Great Lakes Brewery in Toronto. It's My Bitter Wife IPA. This is one of their seasonal releases and is named after Carrie Nation who was a stong force behind the temperance movement. It is a stong beer at 7.0% alchohol and it has an IBU of 88. You can find more info at Great Lakes Brewing

We started out with a project that we thought was going to be at least a three or four beer job. It turns out we were in and out in under an hour. Bruce has a “Greenway” UV light as part of the water filtration system and it fell apart and started leaking shortly after the warranty expired. Fortunately, Greenway stepped up to the plate and sent Bruce an entire new unit at no charge. Full marks for the excellent customer service. I also figured out that I could spin the fittings inside the PEX pipe without it leaking. This saved us having to cut up and dismantle several elbow fittings and replace them with new ones. So far, no leaks! Bruce also explained why they call the big jugs of beer “growlers”. I checked this out on the “interwebs” and it seems he is right. And you know if its on the internet it must be true! This time out beer of the day was a bit different. Instead of having just one, we decided to let a couple of blondes go head to head and duke it out for our attentions. In the red corner is Flight Delay IPA from barnstormerbrewing in Barrie. And in the blue corner is Kissmeyer Nordic Pale Ale which is a gypsy brew by Kissmeyer brewing from Denmark but its brewed at Beau’s All-Natural Brewing Company.

Well this time we had to deal with a leaking hot water heater. Somehow the pressure release valve failed and sprung a leak. We also discovered that not all presure release valves are the same so you may want to take the bad one with you when you go to town to get a new one.. We also talked about wild turkeys. These have to be the ugliest bird ever to grace the fields and forests of Canada. Apparently they are rather good eating because hunters keep shooting them. Either that of hunters hate ugly birds.. Our beer of the dayfrom Lake of Bays Brewing Company in Baysville Ontario which is east of bracebridge. It's Spark House Red Ale. Lake Of Bays Brewing

Its "SNOWMAGEDON"! We’ve have had so much lake effect snow this year that the temporary garage Bruce puts up for his car has collapsed under the snow load. Everything else is buried under several feet of snow. The first priority is digging out the Muskoka chairs, so we can get in some serious deck time. Leave it to Bruce to gamify clearing the deck. It did let us build an igloo though. I’m sure it won’t pass inspection, but it works. We also talked about other winter survival techniques including how to build a quinzhee and even surviving without a fire or shelter. I’m not waiting for the wolf pack.. We also mentioned survivor dude who was lost on the lake for fourteen years with nothing more than a beer fridge, a nine-volt battery and a piece of steel wool. Now that’s a call back if I ever heard one. Check the website. Our “tool of the day” is the walk out cooler. Basically, it’s the snowdrift just outside the patio door. We stuffed it with cans and bottles. Our beer of the day is Prison Break Break Out Pilsner from Double Trouble Brewing Co.

Bruce picks up an eight-pound splitting maul but it didn’t come sharp from the store, so I had to grind an edge onto it before we could use it. This was to compliment the six-pound maul that has done years of service at the cottage. Bruce also picked up a new ax handle to replace a broken one and I’m glad he went with the hickory rather than the fiberglass. Wally Canoe gives us a good tip about soaking the end of the ax handle in glycerine or linseed oil to prevent it from drying out and shrinking which causes the ax head to fly off. Who would have thunk it. He also sharpened all Bruce’s knives to a surgical edge and we are going to do a special video episode just on that. Also Late last night, Francie Dancer went for a short walk off an even shorter dock. Luckily everything worked out ok, but it certainly could have been a disaster. Always let someone know when you leave the cottage even if its just a walk down to the dock. Especially late at night.

Bruce and I were supposed to build a new woodshed this week but he got called back to the city. How convenient. That left me all alone to get the job done. I enlisted several cheap/free apprentices to help. This was definitely a 24 beer job.

Mother Nature gets “Turkey of the Day” for raining on our parade this weekend. The rains were biblical at times and confirmed our belief that a metal roof, although not as quiet as regular shingles, isn’t as noisy as some people will say. We did get a few small breaks in the rain, so we did squeeze in some dock time. We were even visited by a very small snapping turtle. These guys can live to be over 100 years old with a shell diameter of almost 24 inches, so he has lots of time to get really big and scary. We did watch commander Hatfield’s video on YouTube. He did an amazing cover of David Bowe’s “a space odyssey” from the international al space station, as well as a few other YouTube videos. I’m not sure that searching for “Bambi vs Godzilla” is a safe for work search but give it a try. We decided not to do the “toys go here” thong and boy shorts. Even though it seemed like a good idea at the time, it was deemed to be socially unacceptable the next morning.

Hydro One has been in to brush the hydro right of way for over a week now. It's slow going because of the rough terrain but they sure came equipped. They have a big orange articulated boom truck that is well set up for the task. Complete with chain saw holsters, a couple of Stihl ms260s, a hydraulic pole pruner and a cherry picker it's pretty unstoppable. It's like the ultimate ATV. Bruce worked so hard hauling firewood that he had to do a few Kahlúa shooters to kill the pain. Really Bruce? Seriously? He even tried putting it in decafinated tea for a stronger hit. I don't think so. I also picked up some 2"quick disconnect couplings. These are intended for gas lines but I'm tired of having to use the big ass monkey wrench whenever we disconnect the pump. These worked like a charm and now we can hot swap a water pump in less than 20 minutes.

We started out with pump problems again so we made our usual trip into Parry Sound to the Home Depot for a new pump and other assorted parts. OF course we were all decked out in our finest kottage-tek T-shirts from our swag shop and we actually got some attention from a couple of hunnies. Wow! I also picked up some 2"quick disconnect couplings. These are intended for gas lines but I'm tired of having to use the big ass monkey wrench whenever we disconnect the pump. These worked like a charm and now we can hot swap a water pump in less than 20 minutes.

I can’t believe Bruce even considered swimming a cinder block more than 50 feet out into the lake where it has to be about 15 feet deep. At least he plans on taking a life jacket along next time. I think I'll stick to using something with a bit more buoyancy like a boat. Even the paddle boat is a smarter idea. Peter Couch also stopped by this time and definitely took some shots at our beer selection. Now our beer of the day is Muskoka Dark Ale from the Muskoka Brewery in Bracebridge. It’s a gold medal winner so we valiantly stood our ground in spite of the wolverine’s health issues.

We got a lot of small chores done today but the biggest was taking down the temporary garage. It's been up for two years so it's about time it came down. Bruce should know that you just can't stop the demolition man. Especially when he is fueled by beer. We did finally get it taken apart and packed up the way he wanted it, but it did cut into dock time a bit more than I would have liked. The up side is that we had sustenance in the form of "Kraft Easy Cheese" also known as cheese in aerosol cans. This delectable gourmet delight was specially imported into Canada from North Carolina specifically for enjoyment at the cottage. It's kind of an American food concept that never seemed to catch on in Canada. I wonder if it has anything to do with the Canadian Health Act prohibiting the sale of Easy Cheese because it has ingredients that are deemed "unsafe"? I specifically chose the "sharp cheddar" flavor because it would go so well with our more flavorful beers without being over powered. The up side is that you don't even need a cracker. Just point the can into your mouth, press the nozzle, and presto! Instant cheesy snack. Tuck one into your back pocket and you are good to go for the whole day. They also fit quite nicely into a case of beer or a cup holder. Our beer of the day is Scottish Ale from the Highlander Brew Company in South River, Ontario. Now I've done my due diligence on this and it turns out that South River is a village on Highway 124 near Algonquin Park in the Almaguin Highlands region of the Parry Sound District of Ontario. It is about halfway between North Bay and Huntsville. The Highlander Brew Company has been around since 2009 and Scottish Ale was their first recipe.

This time Cliff talks about his travels to Yellowknife. It may not be "the cottage" but there's lot of roughing it and being outdoors that they both have in common. Everyone should try to spend at least a bit of time there. Everything from incredible fish that are pulled from Great Slave Lake, to driving on ice roads and Ragged Ass Road. The magic of the Aurora Borealis is a must see. Even on one of its dull nights it's spectacular. The trip made quite an impression on CLiff and we don't think he will ever forget it. Unfortunately that includes the hotel from hell which will haunt him for the rest of his natural life. We also came up with the theory that consuming alcohol is a lot like Darwin's theory of evolution. AKA "survival of the fittest". Much like the way the wolves help keep the caribou herds up north strong by killing off the weakest of the group. Beer kills off the weakest brain cells and greatly improves our overall intellect. Yes us brains be getting strongly smartest by the bottle minute. Our beer of the day is Bare Naked Ladies Imperial Chocolate Stout from The Flying Monkeys Craft Brewery in Barrie Ontario. This was a collaboration between the The Flying Monkeys Craft Brewery and a band from Toronto called The Bare Naked Ladies.

Bruce had a good friend named Walter Martindale join us this time for a boys weekend. It turns out Walter is a master knife sharpener. We of course put him to work sharpening every knife in the place. He also brought along a few interesting ones to show us as well. One of them has quickly become my favorite for when I feel like sitting on the deck cutting the cheese. It's known as the "Original Woodman's Pal" from Lee Valley Tool Company .This ushers in the first entry into our new Kottage Know-how category. We will do some how-to videos about common repairs, tips and processes at the cottage and post them up on the YouTube channel. We will do our best to keep these to short form and under 5 minutes but in true Kottage-tek fashion our first one blows that theory out of the water. It comes in a at whopping 30 minutes so make sure you crack a fresh cold one before pressing play.

The first project this time was replacing some of the trashy novels that were holding up the furniture with actual legs. We left a couple of books under the corner of the sofa because we figured nobody will want to read them anyway.WE also played with a Belkin WeMo. This is like a high tech timer switch that can be controlled across the web. We set up IFTTT to control the switch using text messages. Smart idea if only Betty-Boop would stop texting "# off" to her son. I can only imagine what he was thinking.

It's Christmas time in Muskoka and there's no better time to get all the old skis, snowshoes, and other paraphernalia off the floor, out of the hallway, and up onto the walls where it belongs We also got to poke fun at Bruce's Dr. Seuss Christmas tree We also followed up on the water purification system and it appears that human testing is in order.

Cliff installs LEDs into a clear acrylic electric guitar And we come full circle with the LED guitar playing Smoke On The Water so close to the Whatta reserve.

Blue Ant Media comes to shoot a segment for the upcomming "Cottage Cheese" show. on the new Cottage Life Television channel Now we know how George Clooney and Brad Pitt feel. Or maybe it's more like Steve Martin and Martin Short!

We talked about the history and traditions of cottaging in Muskoka as well as most other places in Canada We told stories about moving the outhouse, cooking on a real wood stove and of course the town pump which we still use today. If that's roughing it, I'll take it any day of the week.

Bruce finally pulled the trigger on a water purification system. Paul Godwin Plumbing took care of the project and boy does it make a difference when professionals do the work We put in three "Big Blue" 20 inch filter canisters and a Greenway GAUV-12H UV Disinfection System which uses a 35 watt UV lamp to kill bacteria. We also upped the water pump from a half horse to a three quarter for more flow.

This time we get into a bit more detail about pouring cement. We covered scribing forms to the uneven rocks which is a handy skill to have. We also talked about mixing cement. We discussed different kinds of cement and just what makes it concrete. Bruce went with the old wheelbarrow method which was fine considering we only mixed three bags. That man loves to watch people work. Anymore and I would have wanted the big boy toys. Maybe even the big cement pumper truck.

Bruce is finally installing a water purification system so we don't have to keep hauling water from the city or at least the town pump. We did a bunch of cleanup in the crawlspace and prepared a place for the installers to set the new pump. We did this by scribing a plywood for to the un-even rock and poured 3 bags of cement.

Bruce and Asis, aka The Montreal Crew show up imediately jumped in to help with cleaning out the beer fridge. Their years of training and experience pays off as we actually had to re-stock before the visit was over. We also announce the grand openning of "The Kottage-tek Swag Shop over on Cafe Press

We talk about a couple of big projects at the cottage like the bathroom vanity and a new steel roof We also talk about the loons amassing on the lake in preparation for their winter migration.

First the Rogers 3G hub melts down but we get that working again. Then I create the 802.11ac Wi-Fi Cordless Extension Cord.

We finished off the re-siding job on the old bunkie. I also get to mist Bruce with the paint gun. Boy hes going grey!,

We finally replace the old siding on the bunkie and even get on a couple of coats of paint We also have a toast to the war of 1812.,

Bruce has a dead battery and a flat. The machine that goes "Bing", and maple syrup collection re-invents the beer me zip line.

Bruce catches a Ruffed Grouse. Actually it flew into a window so we cooked it for dinner.

We work on ways to prevent the water line from freezing. It's truly a franchise opportunity.

Sarah gets stuck in the truck thanks to the kiddie locks. and we build a new platform deck for the tin garden shed. Bruce and Sarah get to work driving deck screws with the Newfie Screwdriver

First we BBQ some ribs and chicken. Then we find that someone has been putting food in the beer fridge. blasphemy!

The food fridge is renamed the fridge of DEATH and Bruce wants to open a micro brewery.

Cliff creates a unique water garden at the cottage. It does double duty as a beer and wine chiller by day and a hot tub by night. Pure genius!

We have a problem down on the dock that needs a solution. Fortunately I figure out a solution and implement it. Finally, cold ones on the dock.

We do a major spring cleaning both inside and out. Karen fires the cottage mower and I cut up the old paddle boat with my demo saw. Then its of to the dump and them Mactier for plumbing supplies.

Faced with a boat full of bikini clad women, Bruce and Cliff take the neighnours tubing and waterskiing

Violent storms hit the Muskokas We also went for a field trip to check out some beaver baffles.

We add another "newish" BBQ to the ever growing fleet lined up on the deck. We also talk about some dumb crooks who stole a snowmobile and got caught.

Violent storms hit the Muskokas We spend the rest of the day repairing the washed out gravel on the driveway and walkways.

First Bruce starts the old two stroke snow blower in the dinning room Then he buys a sweet Troy-Bilt 24" 2 stage dream. Then I go to work on it. "Stay off the roads".

Pipi showed up today with his septic sucking truck. The biggest baddest shopvac on the cottage road

Bruce is finally able to get internet access at the cottage. And without a phone line or modem. We also rescued a chickadee on the deck and a crawfish in a beer can.

Well its firewood hunting season and Bruce actually had to buy firewood this year. we talked about just what is a bush cord and a face cord. We also cut some windfall trees with my new Stihl chainsaw. Thanks to CVR Motors (cvrmotors.com) for a sweet deal.

It has been a big weekend for wildlife outside the cottage. Including the 5-O'clock beaver. Now we need to send an exiction notice th the muskrat nesting in the floating dock.