Ladies Like Us

Is it possible to spiral upward?Linda shares her visual model for growth and development. Let's enjoy this ride together!Why it doesn't mean you're not growing, even if you stumble over some of the same issues.How you are living bigger and better if you know how to look What is overcome-able and what doesn't actually need to be overcome (integrate it instead!)In this framework, you can better see how you are stronger, more. grounded, more integrated, and more in mastery of yourself. Let this framework allow you to BELIEVE this. Allowing 100% approval of yourself 

Welcome to Season 3 of Ladies Like Us!1.    Intro – Hi it's me. I'm back to champion my Otherhood people and their life concerns 2.    This season is all about finding the deepest level of approval for ourselves. And the Upward Spiral. This is for everyone, not just the Otherhood.3.    Kicking off with a talk about self validation.It's not always clear how our validation pathways get set up. There's a concept that's been studied in psychology called the locus of control. It's tied to our individual experiences of success and failure and the main distinction is that those with an external – believe life is happening TO them, and that they are powerless against what life has in store for them, vs an internal locus --- which has people operating from a place of self trust and belief in their ability to make things happen—their agency.  How do we develop and discover where our personal source of agency lies? This is a big topic, and I can't fully unpack it here, but listen to what I lay out as a foundation towards self approval and self trust-- 2 big topics this season. 

 "Sometimes having it all is being able to have a relationship with what you didn't get to have and feeling  whole anyway. "Unless you live under a rock, you've witnessed Jennifer Aniston poked and prodded with motherhood expectations and speculations for almost 20 years. In a recent article in Allure's final print copy, Jennifer finally addresses her motherhood challenges  and discloses how she got into the arena on her own terms. In this episode Linda unpacks her experience of Jennifer's motherhood journey, addresses being part of a judging public, and gratefully thanks her for bravely sharing her vulnerable experience.In trying to create motherhood,  however it works out, however that journey plays out, you are allowed to feel whole and perfect. You can decide that life is happening FOR you, no matter what happens.

Let's think an unthinkable thought: What if there's no one to remember me when I die? Remember what I wanted?What if all of my stuff just gets chucked into a dumpster donated to Goodwill, and that's the end of me?Pretty awful thought, right? Let's slow down and look at what we are really desiring and what we are really fearing. In this episode Linda unpacks why we want a legacy. Why we want there to be someone to inherit our rituals,  traditions, and maybe our stuffShe ponders what will become of her fabulous hat collection and her accumulated wisdomWhy Tanya from The White Lotus is so compellingWhy Friend Families are a worthy investmentWhy you need to plan your own after party

Linda unpacks a jarring Mother's Day experience from the year before and reflects on what happened since: I had to create a safe distance from last year's Mother's Day to do this episode. I'll bet you're wondering why! As much as I'm a champion of mothering energy and inclusivity in that world, I experienced what I would call a profound separation from that.  And now I'm ready to talk about it. You can't always get what you want. But sometimes... you get what you need. Believe it. Key nuggetsFinding the gifts in negative experiencesFollowing popcorn trails and creating through lines to your purposeLanding in the VOID and where to go from thereHow to have unconditional loveThanks for listening!

How are you talking to yourself when it comes to your goals? Need to do versus want to do carry very different energy. Your body perceives the task, goal, or activity very differently depending on word choice.Should. Need to. Have to. Believe it or not, it can subconsciously alter your energy for a given task or goal. And unless you shift that energy, it's, it's always going to feel like a struggle.Linda unpacks how some of the language we use around our goals points to avoidance. Framing things as "need to" reveals your subconscious feeling about a task and keeps you in the energy of how you'll feel if you don't do it. Which robs you of the energy to DO IT. Saying " I want to"  or "I choose to" calls forth energy. Once again, this is likely a vestige from our childhood. We use the kind of language we hear growing up and don't question it. But beyond that, there is how childhood is structured. We're either getting in trouble or, or we're getting a star, but either way we're trying to figure out  what the adults want and  how we're going to get rewarded and avoid punishment. This polarity sets up  how we view what we need to do. It seems like I have to do it--whether it's " I have to do it this way so is I don't get punished or I have to do it this way to get rewarded.As kids we take that assignment seriously. And as kids, we can indicate desire-- I want this and I wanted that and et cetera, et cetera.But kids don't have the power to get those things, at least not outrightly. So we have to manipulate to get those things, to get our desires met, so to speak.  So it makes sense that the language of I want -- of desire--  got replaced with,  language that reflected the value system of the adults around us. And what happens next? Most of us just grow from that place, but still have  that  in place. then we create a more sophisticated version of punishment and reward. 

 What does belonging mean to you?As a definition, it's an affinity for a place or a situation. It can be a feeling that you can be yourself that you're loved welcomed. That you'd be missed if you were away.  It's also a feeling of security and support we feel when there a sense of acceptance, inclusion, and identity for a member of a certain group. It is when an individual can bring their authentic self to the table and feel like themselves. Ladies Like Us was created as a  place where feel that sense of belonging.But here's the thing,,, belonging is a two way street and an inside job. How?Otherhood, or childless not by choice individuals often feel uninvited to the table by society at large. But more often than not, it's the internal "otherness" we are bringing into the room that makes us feel "other",  rather than the majority actually pointing at us and telling us we are other. There are plenty of groups you don't want to belong to. When you aren't invited to these groups, you literally don't give an F. Why? It holds no heat for you because the values of that group don't matter to you. Others--It makes total sense to get triggered by this and have belonging become a difficult subject... But it doesn't have to stay that way. The biggest shift you can experience, is to become clear on where and when you feel a sense of belonging. And bring that back to yourself. How are you creating belonging inside yourself? What is the sense of belonging you can take with you anywhere? You can literally create the experience of belonging. Learn a quick exercise to bring you back to yourself. Coming back to yourself helps unhook you from outside influences which are constantly fluctuating and distorting you from your true belonging and wholeness. You belong. You are whole. You are perfect, just as you are. XOXOLinda

How do you perceive yourself? REALLY. Is it your resume and property? Your achievements? Life purpose gets uncovered when we sink down a few layers (and float up a few, depending on your perspective) and we download the CV of your soul. Some key points:Wherever your desires (logical, illogical, or inconvenient as they may be) come from, there's a soulful you that is generating them. Some desires might not be for your highest good, but that's not necessarily your soul's fault. The soul doesn't traffic in the same language that your brain doesIf you hear that desire spoken through you, you have options as to how to interpret this with your human life. You are the subject and what this means for your perception of selfSubject Object Subject exercise https://www.amazon.com/The-Energy-Codes-audiobook/dp/B07JR31NXZ/ref=sr_1_1?gclid=CjwKCAjw8sCRBhA6EiwA6_IF4fobCLU7rwQIs9w4vsF11O_YovwC8BzgdmcE_Y1DliAbK3IaQ2WtExoCq9YQAvD_BwE&hvadid=321941331259&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9031038&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=3454165539531225739&hvtargid=kwd-733068308117&hydadcr=22561_10354861&keywords=the+energy+codes+book&qid=1647404610&sr=8-1

Stop Giving Life Purpose the Side-Eye!Life is happening FOR you, remember? So if life is happening FOR you, what is it happening FOR? A lot of folks get nervous when they hear about life purpose or they  hear that term and  their eyes might kind of glaze over. I was in that boat too. Here's what I've learned:The quality of questions we ask ourselves, directly impacts how much creativity and creatorship we experience in our lives. What are your experiences awakening you to? It's not that a higher power is doling out life purposes etched in stone-- that would set us up for failure and who needs that? Following the popcorn trail of your desires, attractions, joys, strengths, skills, and choices can lead to a place where purpose reveals itself. Oh, and you can have more than one purpose, so don't get FOMO. Childlessness can impact a sense of life purpose, but make no mistake, non-parents have purpose. If anything, we are called to a more creative path to finding our life purpose because our lives don't resemble what came before us. Embrace it. We are here to grow, period. When you attach purpose to the direction you are growing in, you grow exponentially faster. So what are you waiting for? 

It's Season 2 of Ladies Like Us!We are kickstarting with one simple concept. What if, instead of life happening TO us, life was happening FOR us? Listen in to learn a beautiful hack that gets you aligned with gratitude, creatorship, personal power, and the language of your SOUL. Happy 2022!

My amazing guest, Sarah Jane Smith takes us into an aspect of embodiment that creates healing of the heart through the cultivation of trust towards the body. Our relationship with our bodies can be complex and nuanced as our minds create disconnect through traumas big and small. For many childless not by choice women, the relationship with the body suffers, especially when it seems to fails at creating  deeply desired motherhood. Listen as we discuss: Our mutual mission of cultivating and uncovering joy in the childless life.Consciously and compassionately giving healing to the parts that suffered on this journeyHow the body can feel like the problem but is actually the way back to joy and confidence if we allow it Recalibrating your senses through self- awareness and empowering your decision making processIn Sarah's words: WHY I TEACH EMBODIMENT I teach to support other childless, not by choice, women on their path to recovery from the struggles of their infertility journey. These are potent practices of self-awareness that can increase confidence, ease anxiety, nurture self-compassion and uncover joy. GET SARAH'S FREE GUIDE HERE:https://thenestyogastudio.ck.page/8530ddd025"I hear you, the holidays are hard for childless women. The feelings of loss loom large, part of you wants to skip the whole thing, and another part wants to celebrate. I get the paradox."INTRODUCING ... RECLAIM THE HOLIDAYS:A guide with 13 suggestions on how childless women can take care of themselves and create meaning during the holidays. Plus journaling prompts to help you create realistic goals and take manageable action steps towards reclaiming the holidays this year.

Why is it so hard to get out of our heads? Why is dropping in to do breath work scary for some people?"working on the problem" vs working on the problem.Today's topic is EMBODIMENT.First of all, what does the word embodiment mean?  We're going to go a little more than skin deep here. So hold onto your hat. We are talking quantum flips brain building, connecting with soul and forming good habits. We're going to talk body versus mine, dirty pain versus clean pain. Learn the 90 second rule. How you can power boost the help you get from your self help books. 

"Don't wait until your kids are older to live your bucket list life, take them with you."- Sarah IselyLinda dishes with Sarah about the journey from adventurous world explorer, to traveling mother, to creatrix of bespoke travel experiences for family.INSIDE THE EPISODE:Are you a Charlotte? Or a Samantha? A Carrie or Miranda? Linda schools Sarah on important takeaways from Sex and the City. Join us for another MOTHER & OTHER conversation where we :share the wisdomshare what we are learning on the journeylook at dating pre-motherhoodexplore relationship with your partner post motherhoodthink about what creating legacy looks likediscuss the transformation of identity through motherhood and otherhoodWe get into the beats of the life lived, vs the one not lived. Land on creating value from within and becoming "real" through the ultimate teacher, LIFE.  

This episode is for mothers, alterna-mothers, the motherhood curious, and anyone needing a booster shot to own their motherhood dreams.Lori Wear is a friend, colleague, and sister in arms. She's a recovering fine jewelry maker, now a powerful coach. She's a builder of villages  and her leadership is characterized by curiosity, humor, peer support, and no bullshit. She is also a mother of two. Speaking with Lori makes me feel like a facet of the same gemstone. I coach women on their motherhood possibilities and she powerfully shows up as one of the possible outcomes: creating motherhood on her own terms and without a partner.Lori is an SMC -- SINGLE MOTHER BY CHOICE.Remember that acronym. As a curator and caretaker for this community Lori has some visions for creating easier passage on this voyage.  Be ready to:Challenge the status quo and legitimize a modern version of familyLaugh a LOTGet seduced by the pirate lifeGet spiritual about motherhoodGet your beer/life/bio clock goggles blown off your face and into clear vision Hear how a vulnerable story can blow you away with empowermentHear what creating space for motherhood really entailsHear the word asshat as it relates to parenting.Lori Wear is currently building her community and can be reached through https://www.facebook.com/groups/smclifestyleredefined 

Welcome to your giving fewer f*cks guided meditation. You're welcome.Linda wants you to know:You are a perfect being with a truth that no one can F*CK with.Challenge yourself to accept the word fucks in this meditation. You know why you're here. Each time I say this word more of what does not serve you, will fall away. Feel the energy of giving fewer f*cks just by intending and declaring it. Examples of some of the f*cks we wish we didn't give: Worrying about what other people think of us-- how we live, our choices, how we present, how we are aging, etc. Worrying about how people are perceiving us or things we said. Playing the people pleasing game when you really don't feel like it. Worrying about the judgment we feel from all different corners. The judgment we place on ourselves for not feeling like we're enough, or that we have enough. Think: Who could you be, if you didn't care about all of these things that don't tell the story of who you truly are?Do you know, you are not who you think you are, not the body you left behind. Nor the thinking mind that gets caged into giving too many f*cks and can't feel free. You are a perfect being with a truth that no one can F*CK with, and you don't have to give so many f*cks because what's in you is true. This energy is yours and it's fierce and beautiful.So lean in, and remember your greatness. Remember who you are, because you are the one. The singular expression of a once in a lifetime consciousness. You are whole, you are strong. You are ready for anything, including this meditation.Now inhale. We're gonna let that shit go... 

What comes up when we say: "I want to give fewer f*cks about what the world thinks of me." For women in the Otherhood, the f*cks given can be felt in a lot of different ways. But what are those f*cks we give? Where are we allowing that energy to go? In this episode Linda teaches you how to give fewer f*cks in ladylike fashion: this work is not just for non-mothers. If you have any societal conditioning, people pleasing tendencies, or fear of coloring outside the lines, this episode is for you.While we're at it, we will talk about how to double down on Unconditional Love by BEING Unconditional Love. Lean in. 

Are you sick of the same old story you are telling yourself? Do you feel like your best was in the past or in an imagined future? Does your life soundtrack sound like a busted re-recorded bootleg album?Our stories are in our past, we are in the present and the future is in our imagination. What if we allowed our present self to rewrite the past to support our current desires and build our future? As we compare the facts of our life to the stories we tell ourselves about it, we can identify the main themes, reveal the unresolved chapters, and assess how the current story is serving you now. The facts of our lives are few, but the stories are many: Learn  we can use this to our advantage. We can literally write a new story, and this rewrite tool  actually help us in our future life.

Linda has a candid chat with her friend Nicole Briggs about circumstantial infertility. The circumstance here is the lack of a partner, but with her abundant resources, Nicole is ready to graduate from plant Mama to real life Mama and family unit. Listen in as we unpack Nicole's motherhood vision and gain some some wisdom from this Lady Like US. 

Do you want what you want because YOU want it? Or was that desire implanted in you? Today we turn over this question and ponder what informs the complete life checklist. Who decides what a complete life looks like? If we don't answer, "I do" –who have we given the power to?  Your parents? The patriarchy?  Society at large? Is it inside of you or is it outside of you? What matters most is that you know it's there. Following this question through the wormhole of "Old Rules" and old programming, Linda shares the moment she realized that she wasn't marching to the beat of her own drum after all. Desires and goals are a beautiful thing, but if you aren't clear on your why, or your why is about fulfilling outside expectations, your energy gets tripped up  and creating results will be challenging. A goal like motherhood, is beautifully complex, so it makes sense to examine your why(s). We are going there!Here's the thing: Insights can go poof in the night if you don't take action right away.  When you uncover some gnarly, stinky, old rule in your life, register that awareness, AND THEN TAKE ACTION! First: write a new rule. Nature abhors a vacuum. Then put that new rule into action-- the tiniest step to let you know what it's like to live in the new rule. THEN: get it grounded in you. Grid lines are pretty powerful. You're going to get right back on that track unless you bust a move. So find a buddy, get her in that sidecar with you and make a pact to expand and evolve. Episode is Not LivePublish: Apr. 09, 2021 @ 7PM EditPublishTranscript is LiveDelete this transcript.UnpublishAdd Chapter MarkersListeners can tap through & see what's coming up.Create a Visual SoundbiteBest way to share to social media for engagement.Share Episode On FacebookTwitter

How do we forgive? How do we fall back in love with ourselves? And what do Julie Forbes and Maria Shriver have in common? Listen, and find out. Linda met Julie in a Facebook group called Childless Not By Choice. A vibrant community where the ache in your heart, triggers, or otherness can be expressed in the safest of ways.https://www.facebook.com/groups/344118628954828What they found out that had in common was a desire to see themselves as whole, regardless of past trauma specifically related to how they missed out on Motherhood. We all have a story, but you won't want to miss this one!Julie tells her "It Happened to Me" story with grace and humor, and shares what tools helped her heal. Inside: How she tried to make it happen, how she made the bold moves to reinvent herself, how she recognized the healing she still needed, and how she found love again-- both with her fiancé and with her Little Sister.Here's the Thing: As your Sisters in the Otherhood, we want you to know that healing is possible, suffering is optional, and finding joy in your life is always possible. 

Ladies Like Us is on a mission. Are you coming with us? This episode is an overview of the mission of the podcast.Here's what you need to know Ladies Like Us -- that's LLU-- was created as a space for non mothers, pre-mothers, alterna-mothers, motherhood curious, etc. Why? Because when what society reflects back to you as the ideal life looks really different from yours, (doesn't include children) we can feel a sense of Otherness. Here's a place to let your hair down and feel like you belong to a tribe. We unpack otherness and what it is to be in the Otherhood. Words matter.We dig into the energy of motherhood and motherhood potential. Don't be afraid!We invite bigger conversations about sex and sexuality when you're trying to have a baby, and when you're NOT. We declare a war on SHAME. We pull our triggers. And meet them with compassion.We put a stake in the ground to give fewer f*cks about what the world thinks of our life choices and dare each other to love the  lives we've created.This is an invitation. We share our stories to give space for yours. 

Your host, Linda Leising, gets the Ladies Like Us treatment as she is interviewed by her friend, Sarah Isely on her Motherhood journey. Listen in as  we unpack the twists and turns and cross-country journey of one woman trying to create motherhood and the lessons learned from... failure? Success? In the eye of the beholder, it would seem. Whether we become mothers or not, the energetic potential remains. Learn about Quantum Motherhood, how you are not your womb, and going for the NO! Find out more on Instagram @helmthislifeBe a guest and share your motherhood/otherhood story!