Parenting the Tough Stuff

We all want our kids to thrive, but what does that really mean? Often in our culture, thriving is associated with excelling at sports, maintaining a high GPA, or maintaining friendships.  But here's the kicker: thriving is so much more than just those quantifiable achievements. In fact, I believe thriving is more of a direction than a destination. Many of our adopted kids come from challenging backgrounds. Maybe no one in their birth family graduated high school, or their birthparents struggle with issues like addiction or incarceration and these same issues keep showing up in our kiddo's journeys. All of these challenges can cast a long shadow over what we perceive as thriving. I this episode we cover what thriving really is and how this can change your relationship with your child.  I coach adoptive parents. If you would like some support, schedule a free consultation HERE

Have you ever wanted to just survive a crisis without making it worse? As parents, when things get really tough we immediately experience some pretty intense emotions. Many times, it's hard to stay present or even make sense out of what's happening in the moment. If you want to learn some truly incredible tools for tolerating distress during a crisis, then this episode is for you. 

What do you do when you've gotten some bad news and you're feeling a bit undone? You're probably wanting to dial your feelings down a bit and just not feel so much. How about a quick vacation from disappointment and worry? Today's episode will give you 6 solid tips to help you stay grounded AND experience your emotions.

A lot of parenting is spent living in paradox. What does that even mean? It means wanting your family to eat supper altogether, but feeling anxious that an argument will break out and make it unbearable. Or maybe you can't wait for your teen to come home from residential, but are terrified of what's going to happen to your family when they do. If you'd like some tips on how to approach living in paradox, then this episode is for you.

Whether your child is just approaching adolescence or fully submerged in it, staying connected has never been more important. At the same time, our kids spend more and more time with their friends and seem to want to have nothing to do with us. Stay tuned to hear 10 tips to reconnect with your teen,  so you don't drift apart.

People are actually hardwired to want to do things on their own and be independent-minded, but often this doesn't serve us. As a parent, it's normal to feel like you should be able to handle things pretty much on your own.  But the truth is, parenting is one of the most challenging tasks you'll undertake in this life – and seeking out assistance can be vital to your family's well-being. If you want to find out more about this superpower, then today's episode is for you.   

I hear parents speak of their worries related to their teens and many times they are founded in past events. It's like "parenting PTSD" of sorts. Parents are truly panicked about the past reoccurring and for good reason. Join me as we explore possible solutions to "parenting PTSD."

What is our job, as parents? Is it to set the bar, and maybe even to set it high? Today's answer may surprise you. If you would like to find out whether you should set and raise the bar for your kids or you should ditch the bar altogether, then today's episode is for you. 

Watching your child grow up can be a bittersweet affair. On one hand, it's exciting to see them become more independent and responsible and truly begin to manage pieces of their lives. On the other hand, it means we are more removed from their decision-making and have less influence on their lives. So how do you know when it's time to let go and let your child become an adult?

When the new year rolls around, a complete makeover is so tempting. Either that OR doing nothing sounds really good. Most folks are pretty polarized. Stay tuned to hear about a third option I like to call a "Plan B" mentality. If you want to hear how a fresh start could involve only 5 minutes a day, then this episode is for you.

Parenting can be an incredibly rewarding experience, but it often comes with its own set of unique challenges. One of these is the battle against perfectionism; striving to achieve the ideal outcome in everything you do for your children. It's important to remember that this kind of thinking simply isn't helpful. If you want to find out how making mistakes and learning from them is an essential part of the parenting journey, then this episode is for you.

When your teen shows up with an argumentative or belligerent attitude, you might feel yourself getting riled up. You don't want to debate things, but all of a sudden you are. I like to call this the hook. Some parents call it triggered. If you want to find out how to stop getting hooked in or triggered, then this episode is for you.

As parents, we often feel like things are happening to us rather than for us. If you consider Joseph Campbell's description of the Hero's Journey, you can begin to see yourself and your child as heroes rather than victims of circumstance, even while you're experiencing setbacks and failures. Stay tuned to hear how your parenting journey could lead you into the belly of the beast and how to navigate back out. 

We talk a lot about the phases kids go through, but parents have phases too, especially when they're working to up-level and hone their parenting. If you would like to know more about these phases, including the rodeo phase, then this episode is for you.  

Today's episode is about that tender and worrisome time when your teen is deeply struggling and the outcome is unsure. Do you have a child that's addicted or coming out of rehab or a child that is struggling with self-harm or suicidal thoughts? If you want to experience more peace, then today's episode is for you. 

A strong spine or a soft heart? As a parent, I'm guessing you probably identify with one more than the other. What if your parenting could be a better blend of both? Check out this episode if you want to find more balance in your approach with your teens.

Most parents feel like their kids are making them crazy. Well, I have good news for you. If you want to know two simple steps that will have you feeling more relaxed and less worked-up, even in crisis, then today's episode is for you. 

You've probably heard that drugs are never really the problem. And if that's true, then what is the problem? Why is your child struggling or acting out? Maybe it's time to ask. And what if you're part of the problem? In today's episode, I'll address how to open up the conversation about what's causing their pain. Stay tuned to find out how to listen to what they have to say.

Parents of teens often say this is the most exhausted they've ever felt. What if there was a way to actually shrink your exhaustion? If you're interested in feeling more at rest, then this episode is for you.

What's the best way to inspire your kids to work on their stuff? It's for you to actually work on yours. We often get confused about whose life we are supposed to be taking charge of. We are to be taking charge of our lives. In this episode, we take a look at 8 areas where you can take charge in your own life. 

Parents have stories about what they think their family should look like. A lot of our suffering comes from the stories we've attached to. Today we are going to look at the possibility that some suffering is optional and how to change your mind about things. 

Do you have family rules, but not really any consequences to back them up? And do you actually need consequences? If you're interested in a more simple way to keep the peace, then this episode is for you.

We want so badly for our kids to step up and make decisions for their life. But have you ever noticed that when you get busy making decisions for them, they simply quit stepping up. Today's episode is about how to leave their decision making position vacant, so they actually have something to step into. I will also talk about why it's so hard for parents to do this. 

What if happiness wasn't the goal? One of the families I'm working with said they had the most relaxing vacation they've ever had AND half the family flew home a week early. You're probably wondering what that looks like and why it happened. If you're interested in hearing how some families go with the flow,  change plans midstream, and get on board with what is, then this episode is for you. 

Why do teens quit talking to their parents about how they're feeling? Why do they quit talking to their parents in general? And does this have to be the case? If you'd like some answers, then today's episode is for you. 

As parents, it is often our deepest hope that our child will start to build a new life. That they will stop doing what has been holding them back and embrace things that will move them forward. Can we hope for this and what does building a new life actually look like? If you're curious, then this episode is for you.

Ultimately, we want our kids to share their thoughts and feelings and turn toward us. But how does this happen? What needs to change? Listen to this episode to find out.

Are you worried your child is going to relapse and fall back into their old ways? You're not alone. It's one of the top fears parents talk with me about. In this episode, you'll learn how to shift from fear and worry in a surprisingly new way. 

Back to School is a great time to get back to business. And by business, I mean the business of parenting.  Maybe you're dreading the start of school because of how things went last year. Or possibly there has been a lot more flexibility this summer in your house rules than you had intended. If you're looking to set things straight, then this episode is for you.

When it comes to your kids, your parenting is the number one thing in your control. It's never too late to actively remake your parenting style. That begs the question, "What parenting style do you have?" Today's episode gives you a rundown on the different parenting styles that might be holding you back and the best way to make a change.

When your child who has identified previously as male asks you what you think of the wig and skirt they're wearing, what are they really asking? What are the fears running through your brain and what is on the tip of your tongue to say back—and should you say that?  This week we will discuss these answers and what you can do as their parent. 

As humans, we are hoping to evolve into the next best version of ourselves. What better way than accepting the invitation parenting gives us? It turns out to be an amazing opportunity to change, grow and evolve. No reason to stay trapped using outdated methods.  

If you want to feel more present and less rushed in your parenting and your life, I have an approach from a 95-year-old Buddhist monk that's going to knock your socks off. Find out how slowing down can actually make things better. 

Are your emotions all over the map and do you feel a bit out of control? What's actually the problem here? You would think it's your child and what they are going through, but what if it's you? Today's episode is an exit strategy to get you off the roller coaster and back on stable ground, despite the ride your child is taking.

Do you hate setting boundaries and delivering consequences? Does it feel exhausting? Parents tell me they want to be done being the sheriff. Find out how to turn in your badge, sooner than you think. 

How could a meth addiction EVER be a good thing? In this episode, find out how you can lower your stress level AND stop getting so wound up. Enjoy!