Finding a Unicorn

The dating landscape is changing quicker than Eliza can sniff out a hottie. So what’s next? We all know Tinder, Bumble and Hinge…. BORING! But have you heard of the Jewish, gluten free and vegan dating apps? We’re not making this up…. niche matchmaking platforms are evolving as we become fussier, busier and set in our ways! Now you can filter out those flogs, and find Mr Perfect For Me! Fancy an avatar instead? You got it! Thanks to new technologies, virtual reality dates and sex robots are coming our way. In the meantime, we try and work out why the talent pool of fit fellas is drying up… you blokes give Eliza a cold hard dose of reality. And please enjoy more gutter chat this week as Carly and Eliza bond over pubic hair, tampon misdemeanours and Eggor McGregor farts! We also have a “lovedown” for you….. there’s love in lockdown and we’re here for a happy ending!   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information.

Someone feel sorry for us! We’ve been put back into lockdown here in Victoria… and we’ve got cabin fever! So what is there to do when you can’t leave the house…? Flick the bean! We took it to the people this week, and asked the question.... do you masturbate? The results might come as a surprise! Eliza the prude is blown away by this one. But something does have her “ovaries giddy”!! And what has Carly suddenly running scared from sex? We never thought this day would come! The one-liners and app first-timers are also out in force, and it’s a whole lotta WRONG TOWN. Plus some cheeky Bach in Paradise goss!   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. See omnystudio.com/policies/listener for privacy information.

Will Covid-19 ever F off?! With Corona still a giant cockblock in some states, the apps continue to be the cure for boredom, hornyness and the occasional lonely heart. Lockdown has seen the birth of genius new niche (and sometimes snobby) digital dating platforms, and uncovered some alarming side effects of sex starvation. Plus…. creative ways to expose misleading profile pics, and those man-whorey, bad-mannered matches. Carly and Big Red also have some exciting house news.... did they find a home for Baby Biscuit? Lots of cringes and lols this week. Especially from the ever mature Eliza…. who gets the giggles saying the word fingering! And what else got her nana knickers in a knot? IDK but you’ll have to tune in to find out LMAO. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Disclaimer: We’re broadcasting from the moon this week! Apologies in advance for the audio quality (a few tech issues). But never fear, we’ve still got lots of fun coming to you, as we serve up our first ever movie review! We can’t wait to tell you what we thought of Netflix’s raunchy new offering ‘365 Days’. We have A LOT to say about the graphic sex scenes, the genitalia, and the BJs. '50 Shades' is vanilla compared to this flick! Carly gets the shock of her life when we speak to a mum about a vag loosening device. It may prevent tearing during birth, but the process is truly mortifying!! EPI-NO it’s called…. NO is right! We also have some heartwarming Covid love stories to bring you… yay successes for once! And we uncover the most ridiculous excuse we’ve ever heard from a guy who was caught on Tinder (would you buy it if you were his GF?). Plus find out if Eliza located her dream Millionaire Hot Seat man!Finding a Unicorn - published every Wednesday! Make sure to follow us on socials:Instagram -@findingaunicorn@carlybowyer @eliza_paschkeIf you like what you hear, hit that ’Subscribe’ button on Apple Podcasts or ‘Follow’ on Spotify. If you LOVE what you hear make sure to give us a 5 Star review!Happy hunting!Carly and Eliza x See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

My O My! CUM on a journey with us this week as we discuss all things orgasms….. if you thought there were only a few ways to get yourself off, think again! You’ll be shocked to hear all the weird, wacky and wonderful techniques. And if you’re struggling to reach the pinnacle, do you fake it?! Since we’re already going to the gutter, why stop the dirty talk there….. as we delve deep into funky spunk (cue the ewws). You won’t believe how many people taste test their own juices. Carly takes another step closer to adulthood with boyfriend “Big Red”, and Eliza finds a new target! Will this be another man mission that ends in heartbreak? Listeners beware, there’s so many climaxes this episode, it’s not for the faint hearted! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Enough said. Tune in to find out all of the details including how she told Eliza! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Australia welcomed the news of a lesbian couple on this year’s MAFS. But the television first has been met with disdain in the US. The series has recently started airing in America, and the backlash has been brutal. We talk to one half of the “controversial” couple Amanda Micallef, and she ain’t holding back! We give her the floor to confront the haters, and air her unresolved MAFS grievances….. what shocking secret was her ex-missus hiding, and how did she try to rig the selection process? There’s also fascinating insight into straight women and their lesbian fantasies! Plus Covid predictions debunked, STI concerns for SA, and Carly launches her ‘setup Eliza’ campaign. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Think you’ve been on a bad date? Well, you’re not alone! Readers reckon it’s bloody hilarious, contributors find it cathartic, and psychologists describe it as “storytelling therapy”.... The ‘Bad Dates of Melbourne’ Facebook page has exploded, and this week we’re talking to its maker, journalist and dating expert Alita Brydon. Just when we thought we’d heard it all, we’re horrified yet again by the jungle of the dating world! Everything from Kmart dates to cat obsessed men (insert pussy joke here)! Also, ever wondered what 5 words can get you out of a bad date? And if you think you’ve tried everything to find your baby daddy, think again… we’re shocked and delighted by a new reality TV show that could be your solution (Eliza wants in)! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Would you go on a LIVE online dating show?! One that matches you with reality stars?! “Going Live for Love”, the brainchild of ex-Bachie contestant Belinda Love, can do just that! We get the lowdown on this cutting-edge concept, how you can get involved, and the twist no one saw coming! Given Belinda’s a qualified love coach (aka the opposite of Carly and Eliza) we pick her profesh brain about dating after reality TV, how to maximise your luck on apps, and how to land someone during Rona! We also find out what people are really up to while working from home. Are you another cheeky “procrastibator”? Wait till you find out what that means! Meanwhile, Eliza throws shade at half-arsed efforts from men on dating apps, and Carly has some big news about her relationship with Big Red!! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We’re dedicating the last ep of Season 3 to you guys! The Unicorn Hotline is open, and phones are ringing off the hook! We’re giving you our uncensored, honest, and amateur-hour advice. We talk virtual speed dating, porn star obsessions, audio porn and low libidos. There’s an “accidental” dick pic conundrum, and a debate about SEX….. how long is too long to wait? Plus what’s the strange “ball-busting” sexual proposition Carly received? And what’s life going to be like on the other side of lockdown? We’ve got your post-Corona predictions…. hello hookups and dumpings! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We had such high hopes isolation would terminate dodgy dating behaviours… but alas, it appears the same problems remain! Swipers still be doing 180s, flakety flaking and worst of all, GHOSTING (grrrrr). We’ve even busted people crying Rona so they can bail, shame on them! Plus, those creepers still be creepin, with virtual dating bringing out the unwanted pics and long schlongs (no thanks)!! And you won’t believe what Eliza divulges…. she’s having erotic dreams, and boy is it fun to hear her squirm as she relives them. Carly also reveals the one thing you WON’T find her doing in the bedroom (it’s a no from Big Red)! **Audio coming to you from lockdown….. pardon our technological uselessness! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

WARNING…. We’re going to the gutter with poop chat. If you love a bit of toilet humour, then this is the ep for you! When is it ok to visit brown town in front of your partner? It’s a messy topic, but somebody’s gotta tackle it! So we go deep and dirty with plop mufflingtactics, stench hiding techniques, and shart dilemmas. What’s worse than getting the squirts? Ending up in hospital from holding it in!! Poo-xiety is real and a lot of you are suffering from it! After a few horror stories and many awkward lols, we hope tocalm your fears and celebrate this perfectly normal bodily function! On a cleaner note…. what exactly is virtual sex? Eliza needs to be educated once again. And in this world of iso-digi-dating, what's the shock Instagram discovery that has the girls reeling?It’s a game changer (and not in a good way).So it play people, and enjoy this week’s stinker of a poo-dcast! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Variety is the spice of life, and this week, we’ve got all your bases covered. We’ll make you cringe with blood and gore chat, and squirm from squirting tales! We dive deep into Eliza’s egg freezing journey… from costs and hormone injections, to baby daddy plans (things escalate quickly). Brace yourself for the LOL questions she bombarded her poor nurses with! Plus, our awesome unicorn tribe are bringing us the goods with their iso diaries - there’s pre-kiss temperature checking, a brutal corona dumping, and a bizarre date proposal…. is a supermarket tour up your aisle? And what’s this thing called a ziggy cup? You’ll have to listen to find out (it's not pretty)! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Is Eliza the only one not watching porn? Yep she’s a porn virgin, and she’s learning a lot this episode! From amateur, soft and same sex to anime, babysitters and MILFs, we’ve got everything you need to know about the x-rated world! Carly gets serious as we debate busting your boyf, homemade videos and laying off loved ones who like to watch! Plus, it’s Pornhub to the rescue in isolation…. they’ve got your premium subscriptions covered! What’s hot and what’s not? We bring you the trends…. much to our surprise, Aussies are topping the viewing charts! And what are the US putting their foot down on now? Rimming is OUT! Tune in to hear this and much more! Including the big step Carly has taken in her relationship during rona. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Corona is the dawning of a new dating revolution people…. We’re back to old school courting! Hello virtual dates, sexting and swiping on fresh meat. We have the hot tips on making these surging mediums work for you. But BEWARE, thirsty exes are getting ready to pounce, and singles are waiting to swoop on your isolation breakups! And you won’t believe what laws NYC officials are laying down… out with orgies, in with masturbation! This week we come to you from Eliza’s house, as we study breathtaking doodles from 1.5m apart (it’s the most action her couch has seen in a while)! Plus MAFS star Poppy unleashes on misleading edits, evil trolls and a surprise wife swap…. What had her rocking in the foetal position? Thank god that show is over! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

As Coronavirus pandemonium sweeps the globe, we look at the impact on sex, love and dating!Isolation boredom is seeing couples root like rabbits. But where has social distancing life left singles..... it’s time to get swipe happy people! What else will fill hours of quarantining I hear you cry? Sex dolls and masturbation may have something to do with it. Plus, the stats are in..... you’ll be shocked at what else is flying off the shelves (Hint: it’s a lot raunchier than toilet paper!) And we are OUTRAGED as we discover the latest trend on porn sites… hazmat suits are a turn on it seems

Are you into sending sexy pics? Maybe a little boob here, or a bit of butt cheek there… Or are dick pics more your thing? It’s an episode of ups and downs this week…. We go from cheeky genitalia chat to revenge porn punishments. Carly gives her very experienced opinion on how to get the best shot, while Eliza decides vaginas are disgusting and makes the bold statement “penises are not yum” (whaaat?!). But be smart out there boys and girls, cos once you send a nude into the digital abyss, they never die! Don’t be a duffer and learn the hard way like many celebrities before us. And which MAFS cast member told Carly he doesn’t get out of bed for less than $5000 in the most awkward and floggy run-in of all time?! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How do you know if your partner’s cheating? In this digital world there’s far too many ways to be sneaky! But there’s also just as many ways to get caught! Social media allows us to connect with anyone anytime anywhere, but it can also leave a crime scene of evidence.If you’re doing the dirty, cover your tracks, cos temptation is high, but our suspicions are higher! In fact, your misses is probably hacking into your phone right now. Too far?So how do you catch a scumbag? We’ve got some doozy tricks and epic revenge stories to boot!You’ll also hear from our special guest, former MAFS bad boy Dean Wells.... the man who blazed the cheating trail, with the first ever attempted wife swap. He explains exactly how he orchestrated his affair (or how it was orchestrated for him).... and it’s a lot different to what we’re seeing this season! Plus Eliza’s friend helps her unicorn hunt in the strangest of settings! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Is cheating black and white, or are there many shades of grey? Cheating scandals are rife on our TV screens thanks to MAFS - which has us asking the question.... What actually constitutes cheating? Is it ever justifiable? Social media and dating apps have us all living on temptation island! Get ready for some biffo, as we go from rub and tugs to prostitute chat, sexless marriages and sordid affairs. And don’t get us started on Becky with the good hair (we got you Beyoncé)! But it’s not all punch ons, as we giggle through Eliza’s embarrassing run-in with the Hawthorn Football Club.... and Carly has one shot to pop the question!!

This week A BOMB IS DROPPED!!!! Carly reveals the REAL reason she left MAFS. Spoiler alert…. a secret cheating scandal! Are you wondering what’s really going on this season? You’re not alone! Carly exposes the threats and manipulation techniques used by producers to fill holes and suit storylines. Not a MAFS fan? Fear not, we’ve got more dating lols…. group dates, double dates and blind date disasters!!! How to impress and how to horrify your new beau. Plus there’s S&M and super glue (eeek)! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Dating is tough enough without the added pressure of having to be on catfish alert. Expectation vs reality is a huge hurdle in today’s digital dating world. And more often than not, we ain’t getting what we ordered! This week Carly hijacks Eliza’s dating app profiles (much to her horror).... needless to say she needs all the hot swiping tips she can get. But it’s not all fun and games, there’s some brutal mid-date bailing tales, mistaken identities, and far too many sedated tiger photos (get it together boys!). Someone even gets compared to a Big Mac in the meanest message of all time! And we put MAFS under the microscope again, thanks to their blatant mis-matching attempts. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Are you pro Valentine’s day or is Cupid your nemesis and you’d rather watch romcoms and cry yourself to sleep?! Either way, we’re back to give you the red hot tip on how to de-code your Valentine and figure out if your partner is legit. We’ve got plenty of lols in store to make you feel better about your love life… from Boobgate to dirty street pies, questionable Christmas presents and period sex (TMI!!!). Carly is forced to relive past rejection trauma with the new series of MAFS launching, and Eliza has breaking news after ending last year with a BANG! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Is your libido low, or are you a sex fiend? Prepare to have your minds blown by the rifeness of sex addiction in Australia! We’re hot messes in the studio this week as we touch on blow job benefits, penetration on your period, and episiotomy aftermaths! Carly gets her cringe on over fingering, and Eliza shrieks at the mention of masturbation. Who’s getting love fat and who’s getting lonely? It’s a rollercoaster of emotions not to be missed! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Do you like it? How often are you having it? Can you have too much of it? It’s none of our business, but we’re asking anyway! Everyone’s needs are different, and this week we find out who’s getting it in on the regular (hint Carly), whose vag has closed over (hint Eliza) and exactly how long you should last between the sheets. There will be lols, but sex is no laughing matter when you ain’t getting it or it’s going wrong! This week’s ep is sure to go off with a BANG! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Is age just a number? Does a sugar daddy float your boat, or is a toyboy more your style? Maybe you’re a cradle snatcher like Eliza or an ageist like Carly! This week we weigh up the different generations and what they have to offer. There’s MILF and DILF chat, slow thrusting, jackhammering and dry vaginas galore!Plus Carly shows her dedication to the pod by conducting the ultimate experiment.Clue….. it involves viagra!

Eliza reckons she doesn’t have any baggage (hmmm

So you’re on the hunt for Mr Perfect (or Mrs Perfect). You’ve created a long list of what you want in a man (or woman). You’re ready for Ryan Gosling (or female equivalent) to sweep you off your feet! And thanks to dating apps you can search endlessly until you find him (or her). But our lives aren’t the Notebook, and that fairytale ending may never come. Are we getting too caught up in having our boxes ticked? Maybe what we want isn’t even what we really need? It’s time to re-enter the jungle and continue our search for “the one”! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

After 10 weeks of Finding a Unicorn, it's time to look back at some of the Best Moments that came out of our first season. Happy Hunting! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

With digital dating running wild, have you stopped to question how you can meet someone in REAL LIFE?! We talk tips and tactics to snag your unicorn out there in the jungle! These foolproof methods will help you meet your match - just kidding, we have NFI what we’re talking about! From bars to barber shops, supermarkets to the streets, we’ll try anything… even volunteering at a Bunnings sausage sizzle! And this week we got a reality check from an actual dating expert.. can he help us find our unicorn?! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

So dating multiple people can be tough- but we all do it right?! Whether it’s on apps or watching it play out on The Bachelor; it’s everywhere. And it can feel like a bloody part time job sometimes!! We talk this week about the embarrassing slip ups, forgetting names and how the new Bachie manages to juggle 28 women (poor guy) - with some behind the scenes goss chucked in for good measure. And Mike unleashes his new motto ABD - “Always Be Datin” - is he onto something?! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This week we took a trip to Kinky Town. Know what yiffing is? Neither did we! Gag and laugh along with us as we uncover wild and wonderful fetishes and fantasies. There’s one night stand debacles, walk of shame disasters, and cringes aplenty as we talk getting caught in the act.Buckle up, because things get bizarre! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This is the episode that had Eliza and Mike blushing…… it’s time to get down and dirty! This week we talk all things sexy…. the racy, the raunchy, and the plain wrong-town. Join us as we squeal and squirm through squirting tales, fanny farts and bloody surprises. We may have scared off Eliza ‘prude’ Paschke for good! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

OK - So you’ve been dumped and are nursing a heavy heart.What do you do now?!Is it ok to sex the ex, or create a fake insta profile to stalk your lost lover?It’s easy to wallow and whine, but we’ve got the secrets to getting back on the horse….. from rebounds to revenge. And this week, Carly has show-altering breaking news!! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Do you wanna dump someone, but don't know how? Neither do we..... so this week we talk flaking out, ending things over text vs in person, and whether honesty is the best policy.Get ready to hear every excuse in the book for cutting ties with someone…. from burning houses to tsunamis!!And we chat to the gorgeous Annaliese Gann about her bizarre first date to the Macca's drive-thru….. was he her unicorn, or a Ronald McDonkey?!Tune in to find out! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

You’ve met someone, you’ve been on a date or two - now what?! Let the fun begin! Tune in as we speculate over texting rules, game playing, drunk dialling, dick pics and when to drop the L bomb. And this week, Lizey loses it over her most hated move - ghosting! In the dating wilderness, it seems ghosts exist, but unicorns DO NOT. Can our special guest Woody Whitelaw work his magic and change our tune?! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

So you’ve scored a date.. But that’s just the beginning… oh so much can go wrong from there! We laugh and cry through all the dating dilemmas.... the rules, red flags, misbehaviours, sneans and man jewellery. And there’s fireworks as we debate that age old question..... when to jump in the sack?! Carly’s hangover and Eliza’s feistiness make for a pretty loose show this week! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The digital dating apocalypse has taken over the dating world and we’ve got some cataclysmic stories to share this week. It’s not all doomsday online but it can be scary. And weird. And mighty funny. We talk tinder fails, mega creeps, motorboating, marriages and sliding into DMs.Listen in as we throw some grenades!Boom!------------------------------------------------------------------Instagram: @findingaunicornFacebook: /findingaunicornEmail: findingaunicornpod@gmail.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I know what you're thinking... How are these two unicorns still single?! We're just as shocked as you are! Join us as we give you an Access All Areas pass to our dating history, and how we've found ourselves here... From footy player shenanigans and reality star scandals, to dating apps, guy spreadsheets, broken hearts and throwing drinks on jerks.. We're spilling the tea! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

It's a bloody jungle out there... See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.