Fix Yourself, with Shannon Connery, PhD

Over the last three years, Fix Yourself has grown and changed. It started with me sitting alone with my microphone, nervously reading a script, to having authors, speakers and coaches grace me with interviews. People send me lovely emails about how they related to one topic or another. I’ve had over 10,000 downloads, which puts my low budget podcast in the top 15 percent of all podcasts. I can’t describe how honored I feel when I imagine people listening to me and my guests. Until next time!

This week’s podcast guest, Adam Shaeuble, came along at the perfect time to address these issues. His story of transformation is rare, given that he lost over a 100 pounds and has kept the weight off. In doing so, Adam became passionate about helping others lose weight. He also got deep into the Keto lifestyle. We discuss how to make losing weight sustainable and approachable.

Change is hard work. We are creatures of habit, so it helps to know some basic things before you try to change your life in significant ways. This week’s podcast is about making change the right way. Listen in if you want to know some tips for creating real change in your life.

Do you know your “why?” At the end of the day, do you feel a sense of satisfaction? If not, I’m happy to help you look at your life in a new way so that you never feel like I do when I’m on social media—like I’m wasting time. This week I did a quick solo podcast on using PACE to assess your current level of happiness. Spoiler alert, mine was way off and needed some changing!

This week, I did a solo podcast all about a topic I love: energy and the optimal level of arousal. We all want to live with the right amount of energy, or “arousal.” Too much and we are hopped up, anxious and jittery. Too little and we are lethargic or depressed. This rambling podcast will give you tips on getting into the arousal zone we all want to live in.

My guest this week personifies someone who had a vision for the future and then had every expectation crushed by medical hardships. Over the course of his college years, Kawan suffered from a stroke and underwent three brain surgeries to correct a malformation. The surgeries, with their pain and difficult rehabilitation, led to addiction and severe depression, including a suicide attempt. Now, seven years after the first surgery, Kawan has an entirely different mindset. Like so many people who have been through something that seems unfair and tragic to the outside world, Kawan told me that he wouldn’t go back in time and undo any of it. Despite his pain and hardship, he now has clarity and purpose that he didn’t have before. He is here to help people overcome adversity. 

This week, I'm talking all about getting rid of limiting beliefs. We all have them, but we don’t always realize that they are holding us back. People limit themselves, based on bogus beliefs, only to discover how amazing they feel when they stop with the sh*tty limitations, and I want to give you the tools to help you get there.

How do you pivot when life throws you a curve ball? My podcast guest this week, Jimmy Grant, aka Rosedriive, is a producer and DJ with a huge following and millions of downloads. Our discussion will touch on the interaction between habit formation and creating new identities. For example, you develop a fitness identity by working out each day; a tiny bit at the beginning and building upon successes until you have a new identity as someone who is into fitness. This relationship between habits and identity can be applied to every area of your life. We can’t control the pandemic, but we can control our attitude. Listen to our interview on his podcast, The Art of You, here. 

This week’s guest on Fix Yourself is the perfect women to calm us all down and give us perspective. Casey O’Roarty is a certified Positive Discipline Trainer with a giant community of parents seeking personal growth and development. Two of my favorite topics that Casey covered were seeing parenting through the lens of connection and using curiosity to help our kids plot an intentional life course.

My guest today, Chris Ross, is an uber successful entrepreneur and business owner who teaches corporations how to be more successful; especially how to sell. The overarching theme of this deep conversation is that struggle often leads us to our greatest strengths. Chris was willing to dive into his “why” openly and with great insight. His message will make you want to be 1% better everyday in order to become the person you were meant to be.

My podcast guest this week, Rico Racosky, is perfect for helping us creative meaningful change. He is a former fighter pilot, author and habit coach who teaches people about the binary nature of the way our brains make decisions. Our podcast highlights a crucial element of resolutions and goals. When it comes down to it, Rico explains, there truly are just two choices we can make; the choice to move towards a goal, or the choice to move away from it.

This week I’m chatting with former NFL football star, Anthony Trucks. He is an international public speaker, best-selling author, coach and the host of the Aww Shift Podcast. After an injury, he had to find a new identity in life, and I love his story because it is proof that no matter where you start, you have the power to create a success story. While none of us controls our childhood, we have the power, as adults, to create a new story, a new identity, and a new attitude.

This week, Heather Piedrahita and I are discussing de-stigmatizing mental illness, as well as tips for coping with pain and grief. 

I recorded a short podcast on my gratitude; gratitude about this bizarre and amazing year and my new course on Teachable. I have been working hard for months to create a new course on happiness, health and empowerment. My hope is that the course has the same impact; that someone who needs it will change their life and pass the happiness on. I’m learning that putting good things in the world can have unforeseen consequences. They create positive loops that continue past anything we imagine. We all have the power to be a light in someone else’s day. It’s powerful when you send a letter or flowers, or food. Let people know you care and that you see them. I promise, it takes you our of your own distress to help others.

This week’s podcast guest, Kevin Barhydt, is an author, actor and mentor, who created his own YouTube community to dive into three important topics: adoption, addiction and sexual abuse. If your first reaction is anything like mine, you might be tempted to stay away from such a heavy discussion in 2020. We all have a lot on our plates right now! However, I would urge you to listen to this conversation for several reasons. First, Kevin is an incredible human being with a tale that is beyond inspiring. He fosters hope that no matter what life hands you, can heal and overcome. Further, he gives real tools for healing from pain.  

My guest this week, Aaron Golub, has been featured on Sports Illustrated, ESPN, NPR, CBS, The New York Times, and ABC’s Good Morning America. He achieved fame by becoming the first legally blind athlete to play Division 1 football for Tulane University. Aaron offers us a path to reaching our own dreams, whatever they are. He discusses how to make your dreams a reality by being willing to do more than anyone else.

This week, I chat with Matthew Confer, who breaks down how to make better decisions in three easy steps. Challenge the Constraints Embrace a Pre-Mortem Check the Basic Matthew talks about other techniques for making decisions, like the method used by Walt Disney, who liked to address decisions from three perspectives; the dreamer, the realist and the skeptic. Looking at every major decision through these three lenses can help give a balanced approach. I hope you tune in to hear our plan for using these strategies to approach issues like getting healthy or giving up alcohol.

In this week’s episode of Fix Yourself, Dan Blank and I discuss using clarity cards to get clear on where you want to put your energy. While Dan usually focuses on creative energy, I started to see the potential of these cards to be used in a broader way. Perhaps they could help us create a roadmap to guide us through this challenging time. In the midst of a pandemic, an election, a climate crisis and a reckoning with our cultural racism, maybe we could all use some self reflection to figure out where to put our energy. Dan and I discuss other topics like healthy engagement with social media, and the ability to connect genuinely with other people around the globe to share ideas. We discuss happiness and how to create balance in this challenging time.

My podcast guest this week, Dr. Manuel Astruc, is an expert on burnout. A psychiatrist and coach with over 50,000 client hours, Dr. Astruc explains the three components that create burnout: a sense of exhaustion, a cynical attitude, and feeling that you are no longer effective at your work. Sounds a lot like everyone in 2020! Listen in for more information and tips on beating burnout this year. 

On this episode of "Fix Yourself", health psychologist, author, and Stanford professor, Dr. Kelly McGonigal, joins me to talk about her latest book, The Joy Of Movement: How Exercise Helps Us Find Happiness, Hope, Connection, and Courage, and how by moving our bodies, we simply become the best versions of ourselves.

My first guest for Season 3 of my Fix Yourself Podcast, Susan Hyatt, has some answers to share on the topic of diet culture! Listen to our discussion on my podcast to understand how to become a person who takes “exceptional care” of yourself. Susan and I will discuss the steps involved in the 7-week program which include: Clean up Your Environment Add Pleasure into Your Day Eat with Attentiveness Exercise with Love Declutter Your Closet Detox Your Mind Show Up and be Seen Susan Hyatt and I discuss these topics and so much more about health, happiness and why diet culture is so toxic.

Millions of white people are finally sitting with the truth of our white privilege. We are encouraged to have difficult conversations with black people as part of our education. This week, I decided to have that conversation with a close friend of mine. In this week’s podcast, I have a deep conversation about race with Daniel Ward. You will hear one man’s views on how we can become allies to the Black Lives Matter movement.

If you are feeling lost as a parent, or need some advice on how to get through this tumultuous time, I hope you listen in to my conversation with early childhood development expert  Karen Lock Kolp. Karen’s take on how to handle life as a parent right now is empowering and calming. She uses “compassionate empathy” amongst other tools to help kids and parents thrive, not just survive, during the pandemic.

I have become increasingly aware at how judgmental we are becoming. This is truly a country divided, and things just keep getting worse. Because I am someone who wants to be involved in the solution, not the problem, I recorded a podcast on judgment versus empathy and how Dolly Parton lives in a way that could save this country. I hope you’ll listen in and read this long letter.

This week’s guest could not have come at a better time. Dr. Jill Stoddard, author of, Be Mighty—A Woman’s Guide to Liberation from Anxiety, Worry & Stress Using Mindfulness and Acceptance, is a psychologist who specializes in anxiety. Her book is a wonderful tool for any of the estimated 264 million people worldwide who will suffer from anxiety disorders during their lifetime. Her tools are helpful for each and every one of us right now.

This week’s podcast will blow your mind. When my guest Brian Bogert was seven years old, a truck drove over him, ripping his arm off his body. Years of painful surgeries and physical therapy followed. He is now a coach and speaker who teaches people to approach their pain in order to avoid suffering. If you are someone who is worried that you will never break through to the next level, listen in. Brian’s story is inspiring and his message is clear. We can all do so much more than we think.

I am noticing a huge theme in my private practice this week. People are talking about loss of control and feelings of helplessness. It makes sense since we are all at the mercy of a virus we don’t fully know or understand. We do know that it is wreaking havoc on our lives. It seems like a good time to discuss empowerment as a means of taking back some control, or at least the feeling of control.

Almost every family I know has been affected by alcohol and drug addiction in some way. My own life was changed forever by my 13 year marriage to a man who suffered with opiate addiction. Despite not being an addict, I lost almost everything because of addiction. Today I interview author Andrew Man, whose book Such Unfortunates recounts his experience with drug addiction. This interview was incredibly powerful and healing for me.

In this week’s podcast I go into depth about lots of specific tools that I use to help couples deal with conflict. As a psychologist who treats lots of couples, my hope is to give some basic tools to help each and every one of us deal with our feelings and stress in a more appropriate way that will create much less conflict.

So many people have asked me questions about how to deal with problems related to Covid-19. Some are dealing with the transition of having lots of free time, but no income coming in. People in quarantine are depressed, stressed out and angry. Couples are having different responses to the Pandemic, leading to conflict. With all the psychological issues the virus is bringing up, I am doing a series of podcasts, the first one is all about why people react in different ways to this virus.

Why do we resist things we actually want to do? Why do we resist things we know would make us look and feel better? And, what information can we learn if we are willing to look at and listen to the resistance? In this week’s podcast, I take a deep dive into the biological and psychological reasons behind resistance.

This week’s podcast is with author, blogger and podcaster, Nancy Davis Kho. Nancy’s book, The Thank-You Project, Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time, was released in December and has received amazing reviews. The book details her year of writing 50 thank-you letters, how to do your own thank-you project and the research behind gratitude. It is a charming, thoughtful book filled with personal stories and practical ideas.

This week I’m celebrating my 50th Podcast! I recently had a huge epiphany about reaching goals. Too often, we focus on planning and habit change without spending enough time thinking about our commitment to the goal. I have come to believe that it is impossible to reach a goal without being ALL IN! You must be willing to bet the farm that you will reach your goal, with no doubts and no turning back if you really want to get there. Today I discuss the three crucial elements to reaching a goal.

Let me ask a simple question? How would you feel if I asked you to give up all sugar, flour and caffeine? Did I mention that alcohol is part of the sugar family? This week’s podcast guest, Michael Collins, asks people to do this all this time as part of his sugar detox program. Why? Because the research on sugar is showing it to be responsible for a whole host of serious health problems.

This week’s podcast is all about Diets: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly! It’s a perfect time of year to discuss dieting since lots of us are trying to lose the few pounds we put on over the holidays. Did the extra cocktails, wine and desserts cause you to creep up in size? It certainly did for me. As I made my plan for getting back to a healthier place, I realized that there are so many things we call this period of time when we want to change our weight. We call it a diet or a detox. We get on a program. We say we are making a lifestyle change. Maybe we pick an actual diet, like Weight Watchers, Paleo or Keto. Maybe we just decide to cut a few things out of our diets, like processed foods, sugar, or carbs. This is a time of year we try to reset our priorities and get control of our lives through our weight. So, why do most of us fail? To be honest, gaining weight is new to me. I never struggled with weight until I hit menopause. I am super active and I eat healthy food about 80% of the time. I don’t skip wine, cheese, or carbs, but I limit them. I have a balanced life with lots of hobbies, work I love, good friends and exercise I enjoy. My happiness recipe, PACE, really has kept me from gaining weight and also from the constant dieting cycle so many of my clients struggle with. This year, I spent a lot of time analyzing what to do as life changes and my body wants to redistribute weight to my waist. My doctor told me that most women put on 10 pounds after menopause, regardless of their prior weight, even if they are healthy and exercise. Needless to say, in my head I was thinking, “F*ck that!” Therefore, I found myself in a weird place on January 1st when I got on the scale after several months and saw I’d put on several pounds. I don’t believe in diets, because the data shows they don’t work. They cause weight gain in the long run, even if they help in the short term. So, what should I do? What I did was analyze the last several months. Have I really been living a life of PACE (Pleasure, Accomplishment, Connection, and Exercise)? What have I been eating and drinking and what do I want to do? We are all faced with so many options and opportunities when our health changes. What we decide to focus on, says a great deal about us. In this podcast, I talk all about the choices we are presented with when we put on weight. Will I take the quick route, with fast results and extreme measures? Will I do what I’ve always done, even if it hasn’t worked in the past? Will I take time to analyze things and set real goals with intention? There are good things about health goals and habit change and there are bad things, that pull on our desire for immediate gratification. I decided not to diet, other than to cut out sugar and alcohol. However, as I cleaned out my refrigerator, I felt the lure of dieting. It felt like I could take control. I wanted to throw away all the crap and start from scratch. I wondered if dieting was like cleaning out my closet. There is a sense of satisfaction in organizing your life in detail. The lure took over my thoughts for a day, until I did put a stop to it. I feel like I finally understand the allure to be consumed with thoughts of dieting and obsess about calories and food. I will also say that it felt very unhealthy. Even though I thought I was being productive, it was obsession. There are very productive things that can be done when you want to lose weight. We have so much research on habit change, organization, exercise, sleep and stress management. There are an equally number of negative choices we can take to lose weight like severe calorie restriction, eating disorders, and excessive exercise. The very ugly side can include laxatives and diet pills, obsessive thinking, purging and drug use. I am hoping to inspire some thinking about what is appropriate when we want a health change that includes weight loss. How do you make a plan that will work, if diets don’t work? How can you continue on a health journey if you simply “accept yourself?” I will discuss some practical, research based methods for changing your size, that don’t involve drugs, obsession or severe restriction. I know I am a broken record when it comes to happiness creating real weight loss, but it’s true. I am dead serious when I say that oftentimes the problem is not what you are eating, but why you are eating. If you don’t have a full life that you are loving, you will use food for things it isn’t intended for. As Oprah said regarding her own journey with weight, “What I’ve learned this year is that my weight issue isn’t about eating less or working out harder, or even about a malfunctioning thyroid. It’s about my life being out of balance with too much work and not enough play, not enough time to calm down. I let the well run dry.” This is real wisdom from someone who will always struggle with balance. She runs a huge company and likely lives in accomplishment, without enough pleasure. I hope you will listen in. I have been passionate about health and happiness research for decades. This new hormone challenge will be something I figure out too. We live in a world filled with information, resources and help, if only we are willing to dig in. Happy New Year! Shannon Connery, Ph.D.

In this week’s podcast, I reflect on the past year. I had a big aha moment recently, when I realized that I have been exhausted. As I assessed why, I learned something big about myself. I have a tendency to think I’m adding pleasure to my life, when I’m actually adding more accomplishment. Taking on too many things, no matter how exciting they are, can lead to fatigue.

There is an unspoken belief in our culture about wealth. There is a belief that wealth is the answer to all our problems. We could be happier if we had more money. All the psychological research has consistently shown that money doesn’t make you happier, unless you are living in poverty. However, I don’t think most of us believe it. In this episode, I interview my friend Mara Bruce. Her father was the founder of Pizza Hut, and we discuss how wealth effected her life.

Connection is imperative for real happiness. What are we here for if not to have quality relationships with other people? Most of the psychological research supports the idea that being cared about and connected to others creates happiness and even longevity. We all know connection is important, but lots of people don’t have enough. Loneliness is at all time highs and is on the rise. This week’s podcast is all about how to build quality connection with other people.

I want to address a topic that stresses a lot of people out this time of year, gaining weight around the holidays. It might seem impossible to go out more and enjoy yourself, without overindulging. However, for years I have been using four simple tricks to avoid gaining holiday weight. Only one of my four tips involves food, and it isn’t about restriction.

This week’s podcast is all about food culture in America and France. There is a huge difference! One thing I’ve noticed about Paris is, despite being a culture of food, wine, cheese and bread, the people here do not struggle with weight as much as we do in the states. I interview Amy Feezor, an American writer living in Paris who is married to a Frenchman. This week I grilled Amy about how a culture with the most delicious food in the world seems not to be affected by obesity.

Last year I completed a gratitude project where I wrote a thank-you letter every day for 100 days. It was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever done. Last week, I decided to write another gratitude letter. I had been out running, trying to think of ways to inspire more people to exercise in nature. Running has has changed my life in numerous ways. Then it hit me. I could write a thank-you letter to running. This week’s podcast includes this letter, as well as tips on gratitude and motivation to exercise!

When I talk to people about the four areas of life I believe are crucial for happiness, accomplishment is the one that gets the most questions. This week’s podcast is all about the importance of accomplishment and how to figure out the right amount to maximize your happiness.

Almost every woman I work with wants to lose weight. They all wish they could stop the mindless eating. This week I want to share a quick way to change the habit of overeating. It’s a tool to lose weight that has nothing to do with dieting. Listen in to this week’s podcast to understand clearly how it works.

For years, I have been observing the negative effects of having expectations. If you have an expectation of an event, reality can rarely live up to the experience you’ve imagined. No one ever dreams of a week at the beach filled with rain and gastric distress. No one dreams of heading to Disneyland for hours of standing in lines, whining kids and crappy food. No one dreams of a ski trip with no snow. Yet these things happen all the time. How then, should we handle our expectations?

Because of social media and movies, sometimes we may feel a sense of expectation that our days and nights should be filled with excitement. I speak to many people who compare their own lives to the ones on social media, and find them lacking. This has led to increased loneliness and distress. In real life, happiness can be hard. I think of happiness like fitness. It takes energy, and has to be practiced and planned daily to really work. Today I share my advice on how to feel more fulfilled with your life.

This week, I’m discussing and issue straight from the heart, EXCUSES! Listen in to this 12 minute podcast where I will outline some very simple tips on overcoming excuses. It might feel harsh. Perhaps it’s a little in your face, but if you genuinely want to stop making excuses, this will help. Excuses strip you of your power. They trick you into believing that you could be healthier, if only something was different about your life.

Today’s podcast is all about HOW TO STAY MOTIVATED TO EXERCISE! There are two things people do wrong that derail their ability to sustain an exercise program. I take you through them in this episode, and give you a way to fix the cycle of wanting to work out, but then quitting. The podcast is only 11 minutes, but has a powerful method that can ensure you never fail at exercise again.

In this episode, I explore the interaction of body image, dieting, and happiness with Zovig Garboushian. If you have ever struggled with your weight, or struggled to embrace your body as it is right now, I highly recommend listening to this podcast. Listen in as Zovig describes what diets have cost her in her life including her sense of peace, untold hours of her time and headspace, and even anxiety. We will discuss the current anti-diet culture and how to get out of the cycle of the never ending diet.

We justify that if we lose weight, we’ll look better and be happier. But that doesn't work. The problem isn’t you or the diet. It is that the reasoning is backwards. It isn’t, lose weight and you will be happy. It’s get happy and you will lose the weight. If you figure out how to balance your life, adding pleasurable activities, accomplishment, meaningful connection and enjoyable exercise (PACE), you will become happier. This season I’m going to show you how!

My decision to begin writing and podcasting launched me into creativity in a big way and the results have been incredible. I now realize that creativity is available to everyone. What it adds to your life can be huge. In this podcast I talk about the ways that thinking more creatively has changed my life.

After 31 podcasts, it is officially the end of season one! In this episode, I recap my favorite lessons from my guests and there are some big ones. We can all be creative, even if we weren’t brought up thinking we were creative. Our brains are listening to what we say, so be careful when you talk about your capabilities. Saying yes to things when your gut tells you to, can change your life in huge ways.