The New York Times called Free-Ass. Press "the fake news site whose name cannot be repeated here," and has listed it among the best comedy of the day alongside Jay Leno, David Letterman and The Onion. This Voldemort of news satire has had the No. 1 story in all topics on Digg.com and goes viral mor…
Oprah Winfrey, the daytime queen of talk and weight loss minus the weight loss, has gained the weight back again.
14-year-old boys all over America are outraged that the Playboy channel still comes in fuzzy.
Optimist International, commonly known as the Optimists, has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.
GM unveiled its largest, heaviest, most-polluting, least fuel-efficient vehicle ever to hit American roadways.
Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has announced the publication of her new tell-all memoir, "I'm Black Too, Ya Know!"
"Take Your Child To Work Day" has been canceled in Afghanistan due to weather. For these stories and more, go to www.freeasspress.com.
In yet another sign of the continuing economic crisis, President Barack Obama has canceled Black History Month for lack of funds. For these stories and more, go to www.freeasspress.com.
VP Biden's schedule is so packed with meaningless busywork that he is having trouble keeping up. For these stories and more, go to www.freeasspress.com.
In another sign of the deepening economic recession Jimmy John's, the beloved sub sandwich shop that used to offer "Free Smells," will start charging $1 for them effective immediately. For these stories and more, go to www.freeasspress.com.
With fuel prices in the U.S. now averaging four dollars per gallon, no one has been harder hit than NASA astronauts. To lessen that impact, NASA has announced that it will now allow its non-essential astronauts to telecommute. For these stories and more, go to www.freeasspress.com.
According to a new study by the Center for Popular Hypocrisy, 70 percent of American Dental Association workers have "f***ed-up teeth." For these stories and more, go to www.freeasspress.com.
The hostile takeover was a surprise to Folgers executives, who only found out about the sale after an English gentleman told them that he had secretly replaced the fine Procter & Gamble stock they usually hold with J.M. Smucker's stock. For these stories and more, go to www.freeasspress.com.
Big Bird, the well-known actor and bird, was arrested for driving under the influence this morning at the corner of Sesame Street and Steampipe Alley, just blocks from The Electric Company. For these stories and more, go to www.freeasspress.com.
The federal government has begun mass-mailing preapproved offers for its new Federal Reserve Rewards MasterCard. For these stories and more, go to www.freeasspress.com.
The 33 drivers participating in last Sunday's Indianapolis 500 were distracted by sky-high gas prices, which rose three times during the race, causing several crashes. For these stories and more, go to www.freeasspress.com.
Dollar Stores, International asked Congress today for 1/700,000,000,000th of the federal bailout funds. For these stories and more, go to www.freeasspress.com.
The U.S. Department of Homeland Security begins formal deportation proceedings against the 1970s rock band Foreigner. For these stories and more, go to www.freeasspress.com.
After the upper Midwest and Plains states received a lashing of violent storms, God blames Pat Robertson. For these stories and more, go to www.freeasspress.com.
Theme Park Conglomerate Six Flags, is set to open the Middle East's first theme park titled "Six Flags F***ing Awesome American Invading Dubai." For these stories and more, go to www.freeasspress.com.
In a renewed effort to get stalled talks moving forward again with Iran, the United States is offering Iran its best and final plan: 700 anytime minutes. For these stories and more, go to www.freeasspress.com.
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