Sportsblimp - sports, humor, fantasy,sports commentary,football,baseball,bicycle racing,

Casting a shadow over all of sports . . . it's sports fan's favorite blimp! Figure Eight bicycle racing got back on the track in a big way. The Fenster Wisconsin Rounders pedaled against The Wichita Falls who finished them off in sudden-death overtime.  Who was carried out this time? An exclusive interview with inventor and rocket ship mogul Leron Husk. Of course, Sweedish Nose wrestling has been suspended during this pandemic, but Swedish born Bjorn Volvo, heir to the auto fortune, announced that he has developed a virtual nose wrestling software. This and more this time on Sportsblimp.

Now that we are all quarantining and keeping social distance many of the sports we’ve talked about on Sportsblimp are thriving. Look at penguin bowling, cactus fighting, escalator sprint,  sports that don’t require people to come into contact with each other. They’re finding a new audience here. ESPN will be well advised to give over some of their hours of reruns to Sportsblimp Programming.  Today we’ll have headlines from escalator sprinting, the growing prison dodgeball league, NO pin bowling, and eco-friendly air-powered auto racing. We have a Player Profile of a legendary jockey in the world of Llama racing and our replay features one of the classic half-time locker room malarky laced pep talks of all time.

Looking down on the world of sports with Will Regan and Eric Rantman on the big fat Sportsblimp. While everyone else is playing replays of big games gone bye - We are too! This week: We start off with the sports headlines from 40 years ago that will sound all too familiar. Remember Scuba Racing? Too bad it pre-dated underwater TV cameras. Our man on the ground this week, Dr. Jerome Rastding will have an eye exercise that he introduced a decade ago for tennis fans. Then we revisit a sport that's enjoying a comeback. Previously banned in most of the western nations, Ropeball is swinging back into the sports spotlight. Thrill to the "Play of the Week" - Two men swinging from opposite directions while perched on an iron ball anchored from the same spot the arena ceiling. The promoters call it - "The Ultimate Game of Chicken" Castinging a shadow over all of sports - it’s like a jumbo jet with an eating disorder - Sportsblimp! This edition of Sportsblimp is brought to you by the all-new "SportsPrompt Invisible Earbud System." It's how you win at sports trivia games. "SportsPrompt let's you be smarter than you look."

Looking down on the world of sports with Will Regan and Eric Rantman on the big fat Sportsblimp. This week: Will the Point Chuckers cheating scandal further embarrass Squatball?  - Five things to watch as the Tomahawks - a team on probation for shooting a referee - hosts the Blusters in the Madison Wisconsin Cheddar Dome Classic. - Our man on the ground, eye, ear, nose and rotator cuff specialist, Dr. Rosco Cotton, will have the injury report for week-3 of the figure-eight bicycle racing season. - Thrill to the "Play of the Week"  - Plus Elevator Wrestling ascends to new heights! Going up!  Casting a shadow over all of sports - it’s like a jumbo jet with an eating disorder - Sportsblimp! This edition of Sportsblimp is brought to you by Crazy Captain Charlie’s Playland and Rock Quarry off highway 39 in Granite Valley. “Your kids will never be the same.” 

Looking down on the world of sports with Will Regan and Eric Rantman. As the new year begins it’s time for the Sportsblimp Year in sports 2019 Top 5 Countdown. First, Shuffle Bowling has never been short on scandals. This one was one of the biggest. It involves equipment manager Hiram Flant, who just turned 91 and was caught smooching with one of the players, 81-year-old Janine Cause, who said she did not consent to his advances . . . this time.  Also earning a spot in the top 5 is a love story about a team mascot who proposed to a season ticket holder on the big JumboTron screen. You’ll hear why “Wolfy” was turned down.     This edition of Sportsblimp is brought to you by Flying Freddy's Airline Food. Why wait until your next trip to Germany? Is that schnitzel still crispy?  Mostly.  Flying Freddy's Airline Food. Delivered right to your seat in the greater Detroit area. 

Looking down on the world of sports with Will Regan and Eric Rantman. This week the Sportsblimp hovers over the Tennisball World Series on the hoity-toity Cape. (Not to be confused with a tennis ball) This history of this sport dates back to the flapper days of the 1920s when it was thought of as a more “civilized” form of baseball.  Think Author Ashe vs. Shoeless Joe Jackson.  Players brandish high tech rackets instead of wooden bats.  And there's no spitting or scratching.   You'll hear highlights from our man on the ground Buckly Montegue. This edition of Sportsblimp is brought to you by VALLERY CRICK'S PERMANENT EVOLUTION Sleepover Seminar August 1st and 2nd at the Wellspring Wyoming Elder Hostile. Where you'll evolve into the person you just had to be.     

Looking down on the world of sports with Will Regan and Eric Rantman. This week, journey with us to Las Vegas for world championship Slug X Unlimited Brawling. A sport that once was illegal, but since the repeal of the anti-maiming laws it’s anything goes. As you know in Slug X fisticuffs the combatants are not limited by having to wear padded gloves and such and no hold or punch is barred. This is like the Three-Stooges on steroids.   High Flying sports news you won't get anywhere else. Brought to you in part by Peterson’s Guided Golf balls. Most golfers suck at the game. So let’s do something that will really help, not just some high price club with a sexy handle or a secret shape club head. Peterson said, let’s get real. select “dead-on accurate”, or make the wiser choice and set it to “just got lucky, I guess” setting so as not to make your friends suspicious. Get yours now before everyone knows about . . . Peterson’s Guided Golf balls.  

Looking down on the world of sports with Will Regan and Eric Rantman. Today - News from the world of Sheep Tennis. A squatball classic highlight of a breathtaking classic play. And how a moment of running rage turned into an annual day of liberation for citizens of Morroco.   High Flying sports news you won't get anywhere else Brought to you this time by Lester’s Field Markings. Remember, Lester’s isn’t just about lines on the stadium turf. They do names and silly faces right there on your backyard grass. It’s a fun idea for birthdays or getting revenge on your neighbor. Lester's Lines - more than just white powder.

Horse Hockey heats up after the horse ban, as lower-tier players are taking turns donning 2-man horsey costumes and they're not liking it. Wizz Ball is recognized by the UN for all the wrong reasons, and we keep you up to speed on that marathon figure 8 bicycle race where we're down to the last 2 riders. From up North, we'll take a second look at Rookie of the Year Slim Tanger of The Minnesota Snowplows - turning into one of the finest ice bowlers the sport has ever seen. Plus we take a deep dive into the story of Wizzball coaching legend Bobby “Lockjaw” Thornton, who gave his players a reason to play... for another team. All this and more coming up on this edition of Sportsblimp!

Once again the Sportsblimp Network has gone to very little expense to bring you sports action from all over the globe. This time joining the crew as they fly over Oval Stadium is long-time Beloit Basher play-by-play broadcaster, Lucky Driscol, who is on suspension for "Fabrication."  He skillfully describes the action from the ground.  Yes, if you love squatball action then you're in the right place!  

Today it's the annual Extreme Dating Olympics. Usually, we’re covering the sports fans love - high stakes competition between highly paid professional athletes. But today, because we found a sponsor for this broadcast we’re venturing into the world of reality radio.  We’re talking about: Furniture Throwing, Speed Leak Patching, Car Pushing, the House Painting Relay. Today's Sportsblimp special coverage is made possible by Shelby Downard’s Bungie Weddings. We get it, you want a cool wedding, not a stuffy old ceremony in a chapel. If the two of you can survive this you can survive anything. Shelby Downard’s Bungie Weddings, “Take the Plunge Already!”

So you think curling is one of the slowest dumbest sports on the Olympic schedule. Meet Speed Curling. This is sort of a reboot of the popular sport of curling, which was born here in Scotland a long time ago. Its origins are shrouded in the mists of time but we can only speculate that the sport started on the frozen bank of a lake somewhere and it involved a large stone and lots of ale. And now we have Speed Curling, which is, as one would expect faster. And that’s due to the sling.   This time we’re at our destination in Glasgow currently hovering over Billy Connolly Stadium and just minutes away from another electrifying match of women’s Speed Curling. If you're a fan of speed curling this is the one you’ve been waiting for. And if you’re new to the sport you are about to have your mind blown out of your ear hole. Our Sportsblimp Coverage is brought to you by Ricardo’s Stretch n’ Wrap Tortillas! Some of our audio enhancement is provided by:  https://freesound.org 112295__timbre, 194974__soundmary, 201983__mayanespirit_

Casting a shadow over all of sports - these are sports stories you won't hear anywhere else.   Our special coverage will be brought to you by Sidewalk Electric Scooter Rental in Peoria. These fun scooters may be banned in Paris, but you can ride ‘em in Peoria. In fact, now you can scoot around for FREE! Yes, thanks to the friendly folks at Crimley Orthopedic Clinic. We have a report from the heavyweight world of exciting RV racing. It's a new NASBUS lap speed record in an American Coach Diesel pusher. The Indiana Drifters, who last year won their league title in Central Division Squeakball lost one of their star players for a drug violation.  He didn't take his Yoradopadine. Also, we have an up-close profile featuring Squatball legend Adrien Addleberry who continued on with his career after a courageous comeback from a tractor mishap on his family's organic beet farm.

Casting a shadow over all of sports. It’s huge. Sports Blimp. Today's broadcast is made possible in part by Slugger Face Myst packs all the power of nature’s smallest beautician, the slug, in an easy to carry spray bottle. Now your skin can be young, vibrant, firm and maybe a little green. We'll keep you posted on the latest score at the Sit-Down Strike Finals and for all you fans of seated bamboo wielding action keep it tuned in to the Sports Blimp we’ll keep you up to speed with that. That game, of course, is featuring the Eerie Eels and the Tallahassee Smackers. Plus the newest sensation in Penguin Bowling - Marie and Marie, the identical twin nuns who are taking this sports by the tail features.

Casting a large oval-shaped shadow over all of sports. This time the Sportsblimp is in St. Paul Minnesota for the finals of men’s Swedish Nose Wrestling. Today Sportssblimp coverage is brought to you by Palm Bomb the all natural organic solution to common constipation. Made in Jamaica from coconuts and crushed palm fronds, it’s the island groove that will make you move. Palm Bomb; “It’ll blow right through you.” For most of us, throwing someone to the ground with your nose might seem impossible. But when these pros go nose-to-nose in a nose lock it’s something to see. No hands! Your first instinct when someone gets in your face like that is to slap them. But if you merely raise your hands above your waist in this sport, it’s an automatic disqualification. Join us for exciting play-by-play action. There's no sport that is more unforgiving and yet intimate at the same time.

The sportsblimp flies above the Squat Ball Hall of Fame not far from Lucyville South Dakota. Our own Eric Rantman reports from squatball’s cathedral, where fans gather to pay homage to the greats of the sport - this pastime that’s been dubbed the “sport of the bullheaded.” This is a sport that requires, toughness and tenacity. Squatball, like no other sport, has demanded reckless abandon from both its players and its fans. Kirk Kreskin will be installed into this hallowed hall. finally achieving the fame his older brother got when he was alive. Kirk has had to live in the shadow of the mind reading Amazing Kreskin. And like his older brother, Kirk was a bit of a mentalist too, a master of the art of skullduggery. He could get into an opponent’s head like no other.

It's gotta be the fastest sport on the planet.  This time we're hovering over the site of championship Squash Luge.  Just a handful of ill-reasoned racers brave the incredible speeds of this heart-pounding feet-first plummet down a slippery slope that's more like a frozen waterfall.   Join us as our broadcast crew - Will Regan and Eric Rantman, hovering on the brink of excitement, bring you their account of this brain-sucking race against good common sense.  Getting closer to the action on the ground is Dr. Lou Grundig, MD, an experienced county coroner, who will offer you his educated view of the mishaps and misfortunes of today's action.  No wonder why sports fans love it. 

Will Regan and Eric Rantman bring you up-to-the-minute news from the sports others don't cover from the Sportsblimp Network in Bucyrus Ohio. As you know, sheep tennis has gone through some changes in the past few years, mainly as a response to injuries and ridicule. It was a different game when Hungarian sheep farmer, Arsh Kabarsh found an abandoned tennis club near the small town of Nagyar, where he thought he could keep his sheep safe from German soldiers during the first World War. Most think of sheep as a source of food and clothing. Back then you could see them as a possible tennis partner. Peering through drifting peek holes in the London fog our broadcasters describe the exciting action from high above - man versus lamb - racket-wielding premier competitors take on the primal instincts of these fuzzy but wile creatures.  It's British Style Sheep Tennis

Will Regan and Eric Rantman bring you up-to-the-minute news of the sports others don't cover from the Sportsblimp Network in Bucyrus Ohio. On today's segment - News from Luxembourg's exciting Squash Luge Finals, The Figure 8 "24 Hours of Minneapolis" endurance race, the opening of Ice Balls season - Great Lakes Division with the dramatic story of a player who fell through the ice and came back to life.  Plus, have an up-close focus on the world of Sheep Tennis - Will and Eric talk with respected expert Captain Ta'Neal McCracken.  Our Player Profile zeroes in on Swedish Nose Wrestling Great - Bjorn Johansonborg. 

Will Regan and Eric Rantman bring you up-to-the-minute news of the sports others don't cover from the Sportsblimp Network in Bucyrus Ohio.  On today's segment - It was "Blindfold Night". This is a fan favorite...maybe because they don’t have to watch the team lose. It’s been a rough season for the Miners. They’re 1 and 20 with a no-show.  The Top Story - The Waukesha Whistlers have a new manager.  They've signed 94-year-old Danny Banker.  They welcomed Danny aboard with his own bobblehead night - giving away the little likeness of him, head bobbing, pushing his walker.  

Are you ready for some swishball?? Another exciting sports match-up. This time between two struggling Swishball teams with nothing to lose but their pride, which is hard to come by in this sport. Hitting the 1-inch swishball is one of the most challenging moves in the sports, as today's hurlers can lob it in there at over 180 miles per hour. And when hitters CAN connect, we'll you better duck if you're in its path. This episode of Sportsblimp is brought to you by one of our loyal sponsors -Granny’s Crab Apples. Stick a bunch of crab apples together with toothpicks and make a crab apple crab to scare the kids on Halloween. Little Granny’s Crab Apples are organically grown and harvested with love.

Hear about the top stories of the week in our wide-eyed world of sports. The top story of the week has to be from Swishball. It’s the signing of pitcher Weston Route by the Oshkosh Overlanders. The “Os” have been looking for the power starter for months. The guy who can toss it in there at 210 or so. And proving that you don't miss a thing - learn about the exciting half-time show that featured skydivers from the senior citizens home. This episode of Sportsblimp is brought to you by The Locksmith Academy of Fond du Lac. "Where you can unlock your future with an approved curriculum that will earn you a Master Lock degree is just 3 long nights."

Thrill to exclusive coverage of the sport that America swears by. It's exciting Squatball action - The Cincinnati Short Pants vs. the Bismarck Bulldozers. All the action and pageantry comes your way. You won't miss a thing, except maybe the cheerleaders clad in their sparkly hardhats and peek-a-boo overalls. If you like hurly-burly action and jaw-dropping reckless behavior join us for this assault on sportsmanship. This episode is brought to you by Alex Fendergast Redemptive Driving School - "Where bad drivers can learn from their mistakes."

Catch up on the latest from the U.S. Sheep Tennis circuit. Here about the forthcoming senior celebrity tournament at Wimbledon, just ahead of the pros competition. Will we see Maggie Smith, Dame Edith, Anthony Hopkins, Jack Nicholson and a special treat, German Chancellor Angela Merkel? This up-to-sports news coverage and commentary are brought to you by Scrun’s Old Beater Rental Cars. "If it was good enough for your grandfather, it's good enough for you."

Sure he's over his head.  Everybody is in this sport.  But cyclist Lance LeCramp is determined to make a name for himself in Figure 8 Bicycle racing. Lance is the grandson of cross country great - Lance Lanceworth of the US. Even though his short stature requires him to be hoisted onto his bike, he's determined to stand tall among the giants of Figure 8 racing. Learn more about Lance and witness the unparalleled excitement of the competition SportsShorts Magazine called "The Russian Roulette of sports ."  

Where else can you get news from the National Squatball League?  New uniforms for the Boise Bashers - they're inflatable!   Highlights - Team management has a new way to increase player salaries and give fans a real feeling of ownership.  A pregame fly-in stunt lands team owner in the emergency room.   The keys to the game for next week's Figure 8 Bicycle race between the Stretchy Pants and Team Bicyclette de tire from Lance LeCramp field.