Podcasts about Peoria

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Latest podcast episodes about Peoria

MOMS OVERCOMING OVERWHELM, Decluttering, Decluttering Tips, Decluttering Systems, Routines for Moms, Home Organization
226 // Uncluttered Faith: Experience the Fullness of God's Promises Through Minimalism - with Joshua Becker

MOMS OVERCOMING OVERWHELM, Decluttering, Decluttering Tips, Decluttering Systems, Routines for Moms, Home Organization

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 5, 2026 42:27


What does the Bible have to say about minimalism? Turns out - quite a bit, although it may not seem like it at first glance. Joshua Becker's new book Uncluttered Faith: Own Less, Love, More, and Make an Impact in Your World, is centered around a  bold claim. Minimalism - specifically what Jesus has to say about possessions and money - is God's design for our life.  The book dives into Scripture passages that point to numerous spiritual benefits that you can experience through minimalism, to allow you to reach your full potential and impact in the Kingdom of God. In this episode, Joshua and I talk about: - Why the American Church hasn't focused more on the message of minimalism, specifically when it comes to Jesus' clear teachings on our relationship with money and material possessions - How our fruitfulness has been choked out by consumerism and distraction - How minimalism helps us enjoy the benefits of God's spiritual kingdom Joshua is the founder and editor of Becoming Minimalist, a website dedicated to intentional living that was named by SUCCESS Magazine as one of the top ten personal development websites. He is also the USA Today and WSJ best-selling author of 6 books including The Minimalist Home, The More of Less, and Things That Matter. His new book, Uncluttered Faith, will be released on February 10, 2026.  He is also the Founder of The Hope Effect, a nonprofit organization changing how the world cares for orphans. Currently, he lives in Peoria, AZ with his wife and two teenage children.

Speak of the Devils
Sitdown Series - Tanya Windle

Speak of the Devils

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 4, 2026 25:29


After a couple of rebuilding seasons, Arizona State softball got back to the postseason last year and heads into 2026 with eyes on making a deep run. One of the keys to that turnaround has been the play of Tanya Windle. A Peoria native, she dreamed of playing for the Sun Devils since she was young. However, life threw a curve, and she ended up elsewhere to begin her college career. But a dynamic freshman season, coupled with a new staff in Tempe, helped her realize her dream. Now, she's among the nation's elite outfielders. On this episode, we discuss her softball journey, her approach at the plate, why ASU means so much, and a fateful countdown on a whiteboard, and more.  

Ben & Woods On Demand Podcast
6am Hour - Big Olympics Announcement + Will The Padres Add?

Ben & Woods On Demand Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 3, 2026 44:04


Ben, Woods, and Paul are here for you on a Tuesday morning! We start the show with a little foreplay and Ben gets right to business by congratulating ourselves for coming in at #18 on a Top 20 Sports Morning Show list. Then we set the menu for today's show and discuss some big Olympics news here in San Diego as it was announced that the 2028 Summer Games will be bringing soccer to Snapdragon Stadium! And we discuss the Padres offseason and what any more additions to the roster could look like with pitchers and catchers reporting to Peoria in just over a week! Listen here!

The Savvy Sauce
Family Sabbath: Pause and Delight with Eryn Lynum (Episode 282)

The Savvy Sauce

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 2, 2026 60:48


282. Family Sabbath: Pause and Delight with Eryn Lynum   Mark 2:27 NIV “Then he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.”   *Transcription Below*   Eryn Lynum is a certified Master Naturalist, Bible teacher, national speaker, and author. Eryn lives in Northern Colorado with her husband, Grayson, and their four children, whom they homeschool—mainly in the great outdoors. Eryn has has been featured on FamilyLife Today, Proverbs 31 Ministries, Christian Parenting, MOPS International, Bible Gateway, Her View From Home, and For Every Mom. Every opportunity she gets, she is out exploring God's creation with her family and sharing the adventures. To learn more about Eryn, visit ErynLynum.com.   Eryn's Books Eryn's Free Resources Mentioned Nat Theo Podcast   Topics and Questions We Cover: What can this look like to daily align our activities with our deepest values? What do people actually do on this day of rest and what do you recommend for families? Are there any other practical benefits we're missing out on if we neglect rest?   Thank You to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company   Related Savvy Sauce Episodes: 81 Rest with Doctor, Author, and Speaker, Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith 99 Sabbath Rest with Sandy Feit 175 Practicing Sabbath with Shireen Eldridge   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook, Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:09)   Laura Dugger: (0:11 - 1:34) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Leman Property Management Company has the apartment you will be able to call home, with over 1,700 apartment units available in Central Illinois. Visit them today at lemanproperties.com or connect with them on Facebook.   Eryn Lynum is my wonderful guest for today, and she's the author of this beautiful book, The Nature of Rest. We're going to discuss all things related to rest, ways that we can prepare for it, how we can enjoy and delight in it, what good gifts God has for us with rest, and then how to reflect well on the rhythms in our life, and so much more.   Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Eryn.   Eryn Lynum: (1:34 - 4:03) Thank you. Thanks so much for having me.   Laura Dugger: Well, I'd love for you to start us off by sharing your personal journey and tell why you are so uniquely qualified to teach and write about rest, as stress can literally kill you.   Eryn Lynum: Yeah, that's correct. So, when I was 14 years old, I was diagnosed with a potentially fatal autoimmune disorder. And kind of the context of that season, I was preparing to go overseas for the first time on a missions trip. So, I was going to be in Africa for two months. And so, before you go do something like that, you have to go to the doctor and get a checkup and vaccine recommendations, all the things. And so, my parents took me in.   Again, I was 14 at the time, and we had no reason to believe that there was anything wrong. There were no red flags. Besides, I had been a little tired, a little dizzy once in a while, but really, we just thought, okay, well, I'm growing up, my body's changing. But when the nurse took my blood pressure that day, it was 56 over 48, which is deathly low.   And so, immediately, that's a red flag. And I undergo more testing and hospital visits and seeing specialists. And they diagnosed me with something called Addison's disease. And Addison's disease, it's where your adrenal glands no longer function. So, maybe you've heard of adrenal fatigue, where someone is so taxed out that their adrenal glands can't keep up because they're meant to produce cortisol, which is our stress hormone. Well, Addison's disease is the worst-case scenario where you can't come back from it, barring a miracle. Like, my adrenal glands don't work, and they haven't for over 20 years now.   And so, you know, this system that God has given us meant to cope with stress, and it's that fight-or-flight response. At that young age, I no longer had that. And so, stress became quite literally deadly to me. And at that point, my parents, they began coaching me in biblical stress management, so identifying stressors in my life.   You know, when your shoulders start creeping up, and you can feel that tension in your neck, and knowing that those are signs that, okay, you need to step back, you need to calm yourself. Like the Psalms talk about, “I have calmed and quieted my soul,” and to bring everything to the Lord and cast all your anxieties upon Him. And this is really where I can see, in my life, I developed a very consistent prayer pattern in my life where just all day long, like conversing with the Lord.   And so, that's been a big part of this. But yeah, that's really what began leading me into this deeply restful lifestyle was out of necessity. But really what I've seen since then is God designed all of us to live and thrive through rest. Like this is His original design.   Laura Dugger: (4:04 - 4:27) I love that so much. And you articulate this so well in your book. But before I ever encountered you, I had never heard of the term master naturalist before. So, if you want to share anything about that, it would be great. And as a master naturalist, where do you see these rhythms of rest in nature?   Eryn Lynum: (4:28 - 6:54) So, a master naturalist, it's really a fancy term for nature teacher. And I pursued this because my degree and my passion are in biblical theology. And I've always been passionate about rightly handling God's word of truth from 2 Timothy 2:15.   And I began to see as my own family, my husband and I, we have three boys and a daughter, and now they're 14 down to seven. But when they were younger and we started spending more time outdoors, I started to see, okay, God has given us so many visuals and materials in nature with which we can teach about Him. Coming from Romans 1:20, that His invisible attributes, those things we can't see about God, are clearly perceived through what He has made. And I saw that also Jesus in the gospels, He used nature all the time to teach.   And God throughout scripture, like it's not just Genesis 1, nature narratives are strong throughout scripture. And so, I thought if God and Jesus use this methodology to teach, then certainly we can. And so, that's why I went through this training and taught, teach with this method is because, you know, the more we understand these materials, the more we see of God and the more we can communicate about Him.   And so, I was working as a master naturalist in our city and teaching my own programs. And I started to incorporate it more and more into my book and then later on in my podcast. And at the same time, God was leading my family into celebrating Sabbath. We had come into this season where we were just exhausted, like running businesses and raising and homeschooling kids, like all of us, no matter our circumstances, face this very real human existence of fatigue. And so, we came to a place where rest was no longer optional. It was critical and vital.   And so, I'm living in these two realms of learning about nature while I'm learning about scripture. And then God is bringing us into deep rest. So, I started to ask the question, where do we see rest in scripture? And I found that it is everywhere. The roots of rest run deep and wide throughout scripture. And also asking, where do we see rest in creation in nature? And it's also everywhere there that God designed all these cycles and these rhythms and all of his plants and creatures, even the ones that we think of as so frenetic and busy that God designed them to thrive through rest.   Laura Dugger: (6:55 - 7:04) And will you give a specific example then of something in nature as it's so apparent that it's designed for rest?   Eryn Lynum: (7:04 - 8:28) Definitely. Let's focus on one of those ones that we often think of as really busy, the hummingbird. I opened the book with the analogy of a hummingbird because when you think about a hummingbird, what do you picture in your mind?   Laura Dugger: (7:17 - 7:19) Busy, constant movement in and out.   Eryn Lynum: (7:20 - 8:28) Yeah, exactly. Like they have to visit between 1,000 and 2,000 flowers every day to get all the nectar that they need. And so, they are always like here and there in the next place. And they look like this little thing just zipping through the air and you can't even see their wings beating because they can be up to 70 times a second. It's this blur of motion. And we think about that little hummingbird, and we can sometimes feel like that little hummingbird just zipping from one thing to the next, thinking there's no time to stop.   But the hummingbird does stop. It has a very strategic method of rest called torpor. And torpor is kind of like a mini hibernation where the little bird is going to go into this deep state of rest. It lowers its body temperature by around 50 degrees and becomes completely unresponsive. And this is a regular thing that the hummingbird does, and it enables it to continue its God-given, good, busy, fruitful work. So, it's this picture of, you know, busyness is not bad. God created us for fruitful work, but it's all meant to be sustained through deep, rhythmic, intentional rest.   Laura Dugger: (8:28 - 9:06) I mean, immediately that makes me think of the weeks, even that I'm most productive, I've probably prioritized my sleep the best of it. And if I get great sleep, even if it's extra hours, that doesn't take away from the rest of the day. That probably makes my time even multiplied.   Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And I love, you point out so many times how God just clearly designed his creation to enjoy this gift of rest. So, you mentioned some of the nature parts. What about some of the foundational scriptural truths on this topic?   Eryn Lynum: (9:07 - 11:52) Yeah, well, of course, where's the first place that we get the idea of rest in the scripture? Yeah, exactly. So, God completes his work of creation and then he rests and he didn't need to rest. Isaiah 40:28 tells us that he, the creator of the world does not grow weary or tired.   I believe that one reason, and I talk about a couple of them in the book, but I believe that one main reason God rested was to stop and delight. That word Sabbath, it comes from the Hebrew word Shabbat, which can mean to both stop and delight. Like think about God finishing his creative work, bringing, bringing everything from nothing. Ex nihilo is that theological term, everything from nothing. Creating not only the animals and the plants, but the textures and the math and the shapes and the like everything he needed to make these things. And I imagine he just wanted to stop and enjoy it. I can even picture him going through creation and listening to the birds and taking in the colors and the shapes of the clouds.   What a beautiful reminder to us, because I know for myself, I'm so prone to just run from one thing to the next, like check it off the list. What's next? But here God is modeling for us. Stop delight, praise him for what he just allowed us to accomplish, to create, to do before rushing on to the next thing.   And so, we get that first mentioned there at creation, but then think about when Sabbath was actually established, there's a framework, there's a structure it's Exodus 16. And the context here is the Israelites. They're doing what they do. They're wandering and grumbling. They're hangry and God shows mercy to them in the form of quail and manna, but he has very specific instructions for them. He says for six days, you shall gather it, but not on the seventh day. Don't go out. It is a solemn day, a Holy Sabbath to the Lord.   That's the first mention of Sabbath, that word in scripture, but consider the Israelites. They had no context for what God was calling them to do. Surely they could think back to the creation story. Okay. God worked and then rested, but they had very little idea of what he was asking them to do. This was an act of faith. God was saying, stop gathering, trust me.   And this is so hard for us because like we are so prone to gather, gather, gather, do produce work more out of this scarcity mindset. But this picture is showing God is a God of abundance and his math works. When we trust him to be the provider, not ourselves. And we take that risk on rest. He provides abundantly through it.   Laura Dugger: (11:53 - 12:05) Absolutely. And within this gift then of rest, how can rest actually reorder and re-energize our lives?   Eryn Lynum: (12:05 - 14:03) I love this question because throughout the book, we talk a lot about reordering and creating margins. So, we can rest and reprioritizing. You know, it's so interesting when we look at the creation narrative, where we get that first mention of rest, because it's backwards to what we normally think.   Think about this. God created for six days and then he rested. Adam, the first human was created on that sixth day. So, Adam's first full day was a day of arrest, dedicated to rest. And in this, we see that God worked and then rested. But we, humanity, we were always meant to begin from rest.   And you see that even in the Hebrew tradition of a day, their day begins at evening. Their day doesn't start with, let's get up and get to work. Their day starts with, let me go to rest to get ready for the work. So, first we have to reorder our concept of rest, not see it as a reward. Oh, I'm going to work, work, work, get all the things done so that maybe I can rest this weekend or on vacation, or when the kids are out of the house or in retirement, that's backwards to the biblical framework. We are meant to begin from rest.   So, starting there. And as we do that, my family has found after sabbathing for three and a half years now, everything else kind of falls into place. And that happens when you operate by God's design. You know, rest allows us to tend to the most important things. Those deep values, whether like that should be of course, faith and family. So, getting clear on your values is really important. Like what is most important to your family faith? Maybe it's community generosity. Maybe it's physical health, mental health, all these things do better. And we have more time to tend to them when we first make room and space for rest.   Laura Dugger: (14:04 - 16:28) And now a brief message from our sponsor.    With over 1,700 apartment units available throughout Pekin, Peoria, Peoria Heights, Morton and Washington. And with every price range covered, you will have plenty of options when you rent through Leman Property Management Company.   They have townhomes, duplexes, studios, and garden style options located in many areas throughout Pekin. And make sure you check out their newest offering, the McKinley located in Pekin is a new construction addition to their platinum collection featuring nine foot ceilings, large spacious layouts, beautiful finishes, such as courts, countertops, and garages. You won't want to miss this outstanding new property in Peoria, a historic downtown location and apartments adjacent to OSF Medical Center provide excellent choices.   Check out their brand new luxury property in Peoria Heights, overlooking the boutique shops and fine dining on prospect. And in Morton, they offer a variety of apartment homes with garages, a hot downtown location, and now a brand new high-end complex near Idlewood Park. If you want to become part of their team, contact them about open office positions.   They're also hiring in their maintenance department. So, we invite you to find out why so many people have chosen to make a career with them. Check them out on Facebook today or email their friendly staff at leasing@lemanprops.com. You can also stop by their website at lemanproperties.com, check them out and find your place to call home today.   It never ceases to amaze me how God's economy and his math are just different. Sometimes upside down from ours, but I feel like when you're speaking, it reminds me of Matthew 6:33, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.” So, if we actually obey, I think there are so many blessings that we can enjoy from this gift of rest. So, you're talking about our values. Then what can this look like to daily align our activities with our deepest values?   Eryn Lynum: (16:30 - 18:30) Yes, this is an ongoing practice because the enemy is always trying to distract us from what is most important. And that word there is key distract. And so, first we have to learn to identify those distractions, the things that are pulling us away from what is most important, but you know, getting to those core values and on my website, I have, my husband and I developed a family values guide that helps you step by step to really figure out what are our deepest values.   So, that's erinlynum.com/values. But really what it is, is this practice of getting clear on God's best for, for us and for our families and for those around us and, and making sure that we are aligning and realigning because it's going to get out of alignment, those values with God's agenda. You know, a lot of days I just start my day with a restful pause.   I call them in the book, Selah pauses. And I am quite literally, I am sitting before the Lord, my eyes closed and my hands just up in this posture of surrender and receiving. And I will say, Lord, I am surrendering my own agenda, my own expectations for this day. And I want to receive your power, your presence, your peace. And then throughout the day, just taking those checks.   Like I practice these daily Selah pauses and moments of rest because think about Selah in the Psalms. It can mean to pause, to contemplate, to redirect. And we need to do that often because as a day goes on, I think we lose energy and focus. You know, at the beginning of the day, we might feel really like focused. And this is what I'm getting done today. And that can waver like that can wane out as the day goes on. And so, constantly just checking back in.   Okay, Lord, what is it you have for me to do today? And how do I tend to those most important things? But you have to take that restful pause to be able to do that.   Laura Dugger: (18:31 - 18:46) That's good reminder. Okay. So, to check back in with the Lord and then can you give another example of one family and what their value is and how they live that out in their daily life. And maybe even what requires us to say no to.   Eryn Lynum: (18:47 - 20:15) Ooh, that's a fantastic question. Hmm. Can it be for my own family or do you want me to give them love it from your own family?   Okay. I was asked this question recently. Someone asked me, how do you make time to be outside as a family? One of our core family values is to be out exploring in God's creation. And this has been harder in different seasons. And we have two middle schoolers now, you know, we are, we have a lot going on.   And so, it can very quickly happen where at the end of the day, we're like, wow, we really didn't spend much time outdoors today, but how we prioritize this is you do have to say no to other things. So, we're a homeschooling family. And just as an example, it can be very tempting to feel like, am I doing enough? Am I teaching them enough? We need to check off all these boxes and get the lessons done. And it's constantly surrendering that and realizing, you know, I know that our value of being outdoors is important to God. I know that he is meeting my children there. He is meeting me there. He is giving us rest and rejuvenation there.   So, trusting with that, again, going back to the Israelites, stop gathering, stop checking off all the boxes, stop trying to provide and meet your own expectations. And instead stay super focused on what God has called you to and ruthlessly get rid of the rest, anything that's keeping you from that.   Laura Dugger: (20:16 - 20:36) I love that personal example. Thank you for sharing. And how can we also in our own families or in our own life, how can we distinguish which activities are vital for the abundant life in Christ that he offers so that we don't settle for less?   Eryn Lynum: (20:38 - 22:46) I love that you bring up that, that term, the abundant life. In John 10:10, that Christ came, that we might have life and life abundantly overflowing to the fullest, like brimming over is what that word means. And that scripture also says the enemy comes to steal and kill and destroy.   And I believe that one of the enemy's biggest schemes and methods for that is to send us into hurry and hustle mode. And he does that through distraction and discontent. And so, so much of this is pressing back against distraction and discontent and getting back to how God created us to thrive.   And again, I believe that that is through this, this gift of rest. You know, you talk about, you asked about settling for less. The enemy is going to put a million things in our life that would cause us to want to settle for less.   Let me give you an example of him trying to distract us. There was a recent weekend where we were coming up on the weekend, and I had several friends reach out and ask about me doing these things like these different opportunities coming our way. Like, do you want to do this? Do you want to do this? And each of them were for on Saturday and that's usually when our family Sabbaths. And so, I had this tension because these were good things.   It's hard to say no to a good thing, but I kept feeling again and again, the Lord saying, no, rest with your family, rest with your family. And it was so sweet because come Saturday morning, I was out on our back deck sipping coffee with my husband for hours, having incredible conversations, reading great books. The kids are playing in the yard.   Several times I caught myself thinking, I almost said no to this by saying yes to other things. And again, they were good things. This life is full of good things, but God's rest is one of the best things for our families. So, it's learning to be okay with saying no to those good things. So, you can say yes to that better thing.   Laura Dugger: (22:48 - 23:17) Examples are so helpful. And that requires a level of discernment and going to the Lord to ask him, but I'm wondering if you even have a system in place for how you discern that, or is it a gut piece that you follow or any practical ways that each of us can discern what's the right kind of busy that's good. And what's the wrong kind of busy and the things that we want to say no to.   Eryn Lynum: (23:18 - 25:05) Yeah. Going back to, again, busy is not bad. God created us for fruitful work, but I think, you know, when we are following Christ and God's spirit is within us, he's going to give us that sense of this is the right kind of busy.   This is the wrong kind of busy. And practically, you know, if it has any notion of distraction, like if you're doing this thing to just distract you or to procrastinate on better things, if it has a note of busyness, you know, some people will be like, well, some people, the enemy makes us want to think that sitting on our phones can be restful because you're not technically doing much of anything, but that distraction is stealing God's true gift of rest for us.   And so, you know, our family, as we practice Sabbath throughout the week, I know that come Saturday, we have a full day of rest. And sometimes it's tempting to add a little work into there, to let it seep out of those edges of the work week and kind of into our Sabbath. And as you practice this more and more and begin just ruthlessly protecting that time, whether it's a full day, whether you start with a half day, God is going to make you more sensitive to those things. Because sometimes I'll like work it out in my mind, like, oh, this isn't work. And really like it's definitely, it's definitely trying to serve my work during the work week.   And God is saying, no, like step away from that and allow me to refresh and rejuvenate your spirit so that when you go back to the work, you do so much more powerfully energized, restful, and ready to do that work to the very best of your ability with God's power.   Laura Dugger: (25:07 - 25:36) That reminds me of a previous guest I'll link to. He did two episodes, but Jeff Henderson just said he's a pastor too. And he said, sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap.   I would agree on that, which you've kind of been sharing a little glimpses of your family's experience with Sabbath, but let's just zero in on Sabbath and I'll just try and go through a series of questions. But first what's the importance of Sabbath?   Eryn Lynum: (25:37 - 26:55) Well, first God commands it. Like if God commanded it, then surely it's important, but that can also sometimes cause us to get a little legalistic about it. What is it? What isn't it? Well, it is meant to be a gift, meant to be a blessing. It's meant to empower us and what God created us for and calls us to.   And so, keeping that just center, this is meant to be a gift, but we see it all throughout scripture, the importance of rest and rest in God's design. It's celebration. Like it's not idleness. It's not doing nothing. Although sometimes like that's the most beneficial way that we can rest. Like you talked about a nap.   I love a good nap on Sabbath, but also it can be energizing activities, inspiring activities. I also love a good long walk on Sabbath. Sometimes I love cooking with fresh ingredients and working on a meal during Sabbath because I don't get much opportunity to do that during the week. Sometimes I love going out and working in the garden because that's life giving and I don't have time to do that throughout the week. And so, getting back to this concept, this idea of Sabbath and rest are celebratory. Like when we do it well as a family, it feels like a mini vacation every week.   Laura Dugger: (26:56 - 27:15) Ooh, I love that. My husband said that before about date night and I connect with that, that it's a little mini reprieve, a mini vacation each week. But then that leads me to the question because I bet so many people share their Sabbath activities with you. What do families actually do on this day of rest?   Eryn Lynum: (27:16 - 31:46) Yeah, that's a great question. And first I'll say that it should look different from family to family. We are all in unique seasons. We have different stories, different scenarios. Again, if you can't start with the full day, now I strongly believe strive and work toward that full day. That's God's design.   And we've seen the most blessing from that. But if you have to start smaller with a half day with four hours, start there. So, it's going to look different. If you have newborns, like a newborn child, it's going to look different and that's okay. No going into it, that it's going to be messy. Hebrews says strive toward rest, work toward rest. It's so counter-cultural. We have to work toward it. So, just going in, knowing these things is very helpful.   It's also going to grow, adapt, and change throughout the seasons. Our family has seen that. But a typical Sabbath for our family right now is we follow the traditional Friday evening to Saturday evening for the most part. Some people ask me, why not Sunday? Isn't Sunday the Sabbath? Well, for us, Sunday is set aside for church community and fellowship and corporate worship. And that's so life-giving to our souls. But by the time I get home from church and I'm making lunch for the family, like I'm not rested physically. So, we needed a separate day set aside for rest.   And so, Friday afternoon, we start preparing where we're going to band together and just pick up the house, get it ready, wash all the dishes and just start preparing our hearts, our minds, our bodies, our home for rest. And then we start Friday evening with communion as a family, just breaking bread and celebrating what Christ did on our behalf. And again, that, that idea of celebrate, and this marks it as special. Okay. We're heading into Sabbath. Some families will like light a white candle for Sabbath, just really marking it. And then we have, we toast to the week. So, we'll pour sparkling juice and just toast and say, “Hey, what did we see God do this week?” Like going back to that idea of stop and delight, we are setting a hard stop to the week. We are delighting. What did we see God do? What did he help us overcome? What can we thank Him for from this past week? And then we'll do an easy dinner. Think tacos, take and bake pizza spaghetti.   We use paperware, which is a bit controversial since I work as a master naturalist, but it has been an easy button for Sabbath that I'm not worried about like dishes piling up on the counter. And then we'll, we'll wrap it up with a sweet treat like ice cream and then our kids go to bed, or they'll listen to audio books. Audio books have been massive for our Sabbath because they're screen-free because we do put away all screens and work like devices on Sabbath, but they can listen to good books.   And my husband and I, we read, like people ask me, when do you find time to read? You don't find time to read. You have to make time to read. And for us, that's on the Sabbath mostly. And then Saturday we sleep in, we get up pretty early during the week and the kids just know like you don't wake mom and dad on the Sabbath. Like that's their day to sleep in.   Again, if you have a newborn or young children, that's gonna look different and that's okay. But for us, that's the season that we're in and our kids, they'll make themselves first breakfast and then eventually we'll get up and we'll join them for a second breakfast or some Sabbath. I don't want to cook at all. And so, it's just take and forage. And you know, I usually have a grocery delivery the day before or go to the grocery store and make sure we just have a ton of good stuff in the house. So, no one's, you know, everyone has what they need.   Then the rest of the day, it is just a day of delight. Reading books, playing games, being out in creation, visiting with neighbors, having great conversations together. Sabbath is this space where you get to do all those things during the week that you're like, oh, I wish I had time for that and you just don't get to them. Like recently my daughter during the week, she really wanted me, she's seven. She wanted me to sit down and watercolor paint with her, which I love doing, but it was a really busy week. And I just didn't have the space.   And so, I told her like, “Hey, I would love to do that. Can we do that on Sabbath?” And she was so happy with that answer. And come that Sabbath a few days later, she remembered, she came up to me. She's like, mom, it's time to paint. And she got all the supplies, and we went and sat outside at our picnic table and painted for the afternoon.   You know, Sabbath does so much for me as a mom to remove that guilt of the things I don't feel like I have time for because I know, and my kids know, Sabbath is coming and that's our day to be together and do those things.   Laura Dugger: (31:47 - 31:57) Hmm. Okay. That makes me curious. Then to how much of a vote does everyone in the family get for what Sabbath will look like?   Eryn Lynum: (31:57 - 34:02) Oh, that is a great question. No one's ever phrased it to me like that before. I love that. What we found that's been important to keep in mind is that we all individually find different things, restful and inspiring. I'll give you an example. One Sabbath, my husband, especially in the spring, he loves to work in the yard on Sabbath because he spends most of his week. He runs a construction company on the computer or on the phone. And so, in the spring, he wants to be out in the yard and trimming his fruit trees and just working with God's creation. And so, one Sabbath he comes and he has like the clippers in his hand and he's like, “Hey, let's go work on the yard.”   And I was like, that's great. You do that. I'm going to go read my book in the hammock. And I fell asleep for two hours while he worked on the yard. And so, a lot of this is being okay that yes, a lot of it's going to be together. Like I talked about, we did, we do communion together and we do meals together. And a lot of times we'll be out on a hike together. That's a favorite Sabbath activity. But a lot of times we're also doing separate activities.   The kids are enjoying their books or their audio books or their painting or their, uh, visiting the neighbor kids. And my husband and I are reading books on the back deck. And so, it's okay that there's going to be some together time and some separate time, you know, just being flexible with it. Like our first year of Sabbath, we went, we had to go like hardcore. We had to learn to stay. I think about in the book, I talk about the word abide meno in the Greek and it can mean to stay, to dwell, to remain.   So, we've spent our first year of Sabbath, not getting in the car. We stayed home and learned to just be home together. And after that year, we started to miss our time. We live in Colorado, missing our time hiking in the mountains. And so, we changed it. We said, okay, well, toward the end of Sabbath Saturday afternoon, Saturday evening, let's go hike or let's go have a picnic in the wilderness. And just being open to that, that God's going to change you as a family and change you individually. And just growing up in a Sabbath practice together.   Laura Dugger: (34:03 - 34:20) I like the freedom that you're communicating there. And then when you mentioned the neighborhood kids, it makes me curious. Do you encourage community for some of those who recharge with other people? Would you recommend Sabbath thing with others or just keeping it your family?   Eryn Lynum: (34:21 - 36:16) Absolutely. We love inviting others into Sabbath. And it actually started with, we started our Sabbath practice. It was so sweet because God convinced us to do this. And then our first Sabbath was on January 1st. That happened to be the first Saturday that we did it. So, it was like this fresh start. And right around that time, we had moved to a new neighborhood. And our neighbors near us are Messianic Jews.   And they follow Shabbat, the traditional Shabbat. And they invited us into that. It was the sweetest evening, and they have children, young children, like we do. So, like there's chaos and there's mess. And then there's sweet times of singing together and scripture reading. And they follow it much more the traditional method than our family has.   But it was so sweet to be invited into that and to get a picture for how to invite others into this rest. And so, absolutely, we encourage, especially our kids having friends over. And we do usually ask parents, hey, can you drop them off? And then we can bring them back maybe like later that day toward the end of our Sabbath. Or if you want to come pick them up. Because again, we like to just stay home if we can.   But our kids are to the point now too where they can ride their bikes over to friends' houses. And we're fine with that. They might not be home on Sabbath once in a while. It's not a regular thing. But they're getting fed. And we know that the people they're with are people who share our values, people that we do life together.   We love having bonfires in the backyard on Sabbath. Now one thing I have to be careful of is I don't want to invite people over and feel like I need to host or clean up first. And so, for one, we don't have full families over a whole lot on Sabbath because I just don't want any sort of self-induced, self-imposed pressure.   But sometimes it's so much fun to just be like, hey, let's go meet at a park and have a picnic dinner. Or let's have a family over and do a bonfire. Just making sure that you're keeping it really, really simple if you are going to incorporate community.   Laura Dugger: (36:17 - 37:54) Guess what? We are no longer an audio-only podcast. We now have video included as well. If you want to view the conversation each week, make sure you watch our videos. We're on YouTube, and you can access videos or find answers to any of your other questions about the podcast when you visit thesavvysauce.com.   Some of these things, like you said, “They do require forethought where you have the groceries coming or certain things in place. And I think you even refer to it as a sacred striving.” So, it's important for us to learn more about that. And here's a quick story.   I just remember we've moved states quite a few times in marriage. But when I was a young mom, there was a mom in the next season of life, and she had more kids than we did. And we went to church together, and she was just like, “Oh, we learned about Sabbath. That's not a thing for moms with multiples.” And I always wrestled with that, and I love her. She's a wonderful person. Maybe she's even changed her stance on that, so it's not to speak ill of her. But I do think that we can struggle with that because that's not an actual truth. I do think that's a message from the enemy.   So, I guess this is a two-part question. How do we protect ourselves from buying into a storyline that is not true that may hold us back from Sabbath? And then also, what is kind of the both and? It's both restful, and it requires a lot of work up front to make this a reality.   Eryn Lynum: (37:55 - 41:19) It does, and knowing that, that it is going to take work, but God's going to bless it. Think about Isaiah 55:10-11, that says, “Just like the rain and the snow go forth and produce life and bring forth life from the land, so my work goes out and does not return void or empty. It produces that which I sent it out for.”.   That is true for Sabbath and rest because, again, we find it all throughout scripture. So, know that it's going to take hard work, but God will not allow it to return void. He will bless our efforts as we step into His design that He created us for.   I talk about in the book a few ways that you have to prepare mentally, physically, and spiritually. So, mentally, for me, I have to just totally remove anything mentally that's going to distract me from rest. So, I own a business, and so a lot of my work is on the computer and on the phone. I will answer, so this is like Friday, I'll answer any lingering emails, those ones that are going to be on my mind if I don't get to them. And then I put an away message on my email. So, if anyone emails me on our Sabbath, it sends an automatic reply that says, hey, thanks for your message. My family's resting. It has a little blurb in there about Sabbath. I'll get back to you in the new week.   That gives me permission to not even look at my email. In fact, people expect that I'm not looking at my email if I'm keeping my word. And so, this has just freed me up mentally to step away, and then I literally put my laptop in my closet.   With my phone, I set it to a Sabbath mode, and you can create these different focus modes if you have a smartphone, so that I can only receive messages from my mom in case of emergency. And our people, our friends, they all know this now. Like, oh, I'm not going to hear back from Erin because it's Saturday for the most part.   And so, these little things that you might just need to mentally prepare yourself. And then physically, that goes back to preparing our home. So, this is not a deep clean that we do prior to Sabbath. It's just tending to the things that are going to distract me if we don't get to them beforehand. So, again, washing all the dishes and having the kitchen clean, vacuuming. Like, that's like just a hack to make the house feel clean is I feel like it's clean if it's vacuumed.   So, just these little things, and then physically also doing that grocery order. And I have a free Sabbath guide on my website, erinlynum.com/family-sabbath. And it walks you through creating your Sabbath grocery list so that every week you have what you need in the house. These little things that truly make it, Sabbath easier and more successful.   And then preparing spiritually, going into this, like a lot of times I'll know, okay, I'm going to study this on Sabbath. For our first year, I just had like this stack of books on Sabbath that I would work through on our Sabbath. Right now, I am parked in Genesis 1 and have been for weeks. And so, just preparing spiritually, you know, this is a time of communion with our creator, with our heavenly father. And so, just having an idea of, you know, this is how I want to spend time delighting in God on the Sabbath.   That might be a long walk. That might be time in the word or time of worship but making sure that that is a keystone part of your Sabbath practice.   Laura Dugger: (41:20 - 41:45) And, you know, it really is possible. I just think so many of us celebrate holidays and we do the same thing where we plan, prepare, prioritize ahead of time so that we can delight in that day. And what a gift to get to do that weekly. So, with all of these amazing benefits, why do we still resist God's design for rest?   Eryn Lynum: (41:46 - 43:00) Because we live in a fallen world, broken by sin, and the enemy wants to do everything he can to keep us from this. This is God's design and our faith, and our souls and our families flourish in this design. And so, the enemy is going to do whatever he can to keep us from it.   He's going to insert fear. He's going to insert distraction. He's going to insert doubt. You know, when we started this practice coming up to it, I was thinking, there's no way, like how are we going to get everything done in one last day a week, all these doubts. And yet what we found so quickly is that as we took this step of faith, we quickly became so much more productive and effective and creative during the work week, because we were starting from rest and following God's design.   We resist this because it is counter-cultural. Everything in society is set up against us doing this and succeeding in this. So, again, going and knowing that our war is not against flesh and blood. It is against the powers of the spheres, like things unseen. The enemy is against us, but God is on our side. And as we step into his design, he's going to make much of it.   Laura Dugger: (43:01 - 43:12) Okay. So, if we are convinced and we want to give this a try, what is a practical first step to just obeying this and receiving this gift of rest?   Eryn Lynum: (43:13 - 45:23) Yeah, super practical here. Two first steps. The first is to set a day and time. Now you're not committing to this forever. And again, if you, if a big hesitancy here is I can't do a full day. Okay. Work and pray toward that but start smaller. If it's four hours on a Wednesday, guard that time. Ruthlessly guard it. Don't let anything be written on the schedule besides that.   So, set a day in time and then write two lists. This is going back to the idea of stop and delight, right? Your stop list. These are things that send you into hurry and hustle mode, things that are related to normal work, things that feel heavy. Some of them are so important.   Again, our work is important, but this is going to be things like devices, media, regular work, answering emails, phone calls. It might be driving in traffic. It might be spending money. Write down those things that feel heavy. That's your stop list. The things you're not going to entertain on that day or that time.   And then write your delight list. This might be hard at first because what I've found with myself, with many of us is that we forget what we delight in but causes that childlike sense of play and wonder. This is learning to be human again, coming back to those things.   So, it might be playing music or listening to music, working with fresh ingredients, reading a good book, writing by hand, watercolor painting, going for a walk. What we find is that a lot of people who spend time during the week in front of a computer want to be outdoors on the Sabbath, but people who run a landscaping company might want to be inside with a great book. So, just writing down those things that are, again, those things that you think during the week, oh, I really wish I could get to that.   Only we don't. Those are your delight list. So, now you have a day and a time. You know what you're not going to do, what you're setting aside, even physically, that should probably most definitely be your phone. Stick it in a drawer. I have my Sabbath drawer where I put my phone, and then you know what you're going to do and spend that day on.   Laura Dugger: (45:24 - 45:47) That's so good. And for those who have been listening for a while, they could even put their phone in their RO box, and I could link to that episode as well with Joey Odom. That's incredible about where our phone could be in its right place.   But Eryn, are there any other practical benefits that we might be missing out on that you've seen as a result of this Sabbath rest?   Eryn Lynum: (45:48 - 49:44) One of my favorite benefits is how it unlocks our creativity. Whether you work in a career or position that you consider creative or not, God designed all of us to be creative, to produce. And so, what I have found is that my work, my work is very in that creative sphere, writing books, creating podcast lessons for children.   It's very creative work. And I've found that Sabbath is this day where God gives my mind rest. It's so incredible thinking about how he wired our brains to thrive through rest, and science points to that that a restful mind is better at problem-solving, connecting ideas, remembering details.   And so, as my mind is allowed to rest on Sabbath, and I'm out on a walk in nature, or I'm reading a good book, or I'm writing by hand, when it comes time to sit down at the computer Monday morning, I am ready. I am flowing with ideas. They are there.   And I'll give you an example. This one isn't from Sabbath. It's from one of my daily rest rhythms that I call Selah Pause, and that's a walk in the morning. And this might be a little controversial, but this is not an easy stroll. I have my rucking pack on, and I'm trekking up a hill, which is not physically restful, of course, but it's mentally restful for me. I love it.   And so, it was in January, so it's frigid out, and everything's covered in snow, and I'm in all my snow gear, and I'm trudging up this hill. And at the time, I was dealing with a problem in my podcast where it was a good problem. We had spent the month teaching about God's designs in the human body. So, we had taught kids about God's designs in cells and DNA and the heart and the brain, but I didn't want to just let this series end. I wanted to wrap it up in some powerful way, and I didn't know how. So, I could have stayed home that morning and hashed this out and been at the computer, and how should I end this thing?   Instead, I went on this walk, and God just dropped this idea in my mind. And it was this idea. He said, ask the kids how they are wonderfully made. And that was the top. The theme was wonderfully made. And so, I put it out there to my email list. When I got back from that walk, I said, hey, I would love to hear how you kids believe you are wonderfully made by the creator. And I opened up this little voice mailbox on our website, and I didn't know if anyone would respond. And then I'm like, what if they don't? And then I don't know what to do because I said I'm going to do this thing.   I tell you, message after message came in from children from ages. I think it was three or four up to 14 from all over the world. And I was weeping as I edited that episode. I had planned to add something at the beginning and the end to build out this episode. I didn't do that because it was, I believe it's 22 minutes straight of children saying, this is my name.   I'm five years old. I live in England and I'm wonderfully made because God made me to read well or God made me fast. Or one little boy shared, he said, I know I'm wonderfully made because my mama lost a baby before me. And I'm here and I'm wonderfully made. And I'm weeping.   And this idea that God gave me, I would have missed it if I hadn't taken that pause to be out in his creation walking that day. And so, that's a very roundabout way to get back to your question of what are the other benefits? We hear from God when we make time for rest. And if we keep just rushing and hurrying, I'm concerned that we are walking by so many opportunities to hear from his spirit and to let him unlock that potential within us.   Laura Dugger: (49:45 - 50:22) Oh, I love that. And I'm even reminded of one other thing that you write in your book that today, one way we can practically experience his original design of rest is by stepping outside. And you're full of tips and ideas like that, but I so appreciate those stories.   So, you've equipped us with this foundation of rest and ways that we can prepare for it, how we can enjoy and delight in it. And so now, Eryn, how can we reflect well on our rhythms of work and rest?   Eryn Lynum: (50:25 - 53:19) So, much of this is reflection. So, much of this is stopping to consider where God is at work in our lives, where we need to recalibrate, where we need to realign, where we need to step back into his pace because we're trying to run ahead of him. And one way that we can see it, you know, like you might ask the question, am I at rest? Even me sometimes on Sabbath, I'm like, am I doing this right? Like, is this actually restful? Is this what I'm supposed to be doing?   I think we can answer that question by the fruit in our lives, the fruit inside of us that God is producing and the fruit that we are producing. So, one thing I kind of sum up the book on is this question of, are you growing in truth and love? Because the enemy, when he gets us away from God's rest and into hustle, into distraction and hurry, we are not fully experiencing God.   And so, our levels of experiencing his love and offering it to others is going to suffer. Our experience of hearing his truth and living that truth out in our lives is going to suffer. And so, the opposite is true that as we live at rest, this whole concept of abide, that is living at rest, not just these rest practices, but living at rest in God's restful presence, we are going to be producing more love and more truth.   So, that's like a key visual. And then I love on that idea of abide. We spent a whole week on abide in the book and, you know, John chapter 15 being the abide passage. And what we see there is there's these 11 mentions of that word abide. And they all refer to us abiding in Christ, Christ abiding in us, God's word abiding in us. So, all this connectivity between Christ and God and us and his word.   But then it's, I think it's verse 16. There's a different mention of meno, abide. And it says that he wants us to go out and produce fruit that abides. So, this is different. It relates to our fruit and that word abide. Yes, it can mean dwell, remain, stay, but it can also mean continue and endure.   God created us to produce fruit and fruit that endures. Doesn't rot, doesn't fade, but continues into eternity. So, we can look at, okay, am I personally in my spirit? Am I growing in truth and love? Because God's spirit actually has the space to minister to me when I rest. And is that rest directly affecting the fruit of my life?   These are key things that we can look at and ask to see. Are we truly living from God's rest?   Laura Dugger: (53:19 - 53:53) I love questions so much. And that's so good to reflect then on the fruit that's being produced. And a mentor many years ago said, you never reap what you sow in the same season. So, that's a great place to even begin just reflecting. What did we do in the past season and what fruit are we reaping now? And where do we want to go then from here?   And one place we could go from here after this chat is to follow you. And you've mentioned your podcast. Do you want to elaborate on all the places that you're available?   Eryn Lynum: (53:54 - 55:03) Yes, thank you. So, the new book, The Nature of Rest is available wherever you get your books, along with my second book, Rooted in Wonder: Nurturing Your Family's Faith Through God's Creation. And that's all about taking our kids or grandkids, the next generation outside and reconnecting the dots between creation and creator. Really returning nature study and time outdoors to its proper place as theology and the study of God.   So, those are available anywhere, including Amazon or my website, which is my name, erynlynum.com. And then my podcast is Nat Theo, short for Natural Theology. It's nature lessons rooted in the Bible. It's a podcast for kids and families where we dive deep into science and all the design and intelligence we see in creatures and plants. And we tie it all back to biblical truth so that our kids are learning science and theology at the same time.   And that's available on any podcast platform, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, right on my website, erinlynum.com, as well as YouTube. We actually provide visuals so you can watch what you're learning about as well.   Laura Dugger: (55:04 - 55:22) So, incredible. We will add links to that in the show notes for today's episode. And Eryn, you may already be familiar. We're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for you today, what is your savvy sauce?   Eryn Lynum: (55:24 - 56:34) I love this question. And this is one that actually I was like, oh, I'm not asked this much. I'm going to have to really think deeply on this one.   It's get outside every day. That seems so simple, even though it's not really simple in practicality. But one thing I've learned through rest and through time outdoors is that 10 minutes matters. Like if you think I don't have time for this, but you have a 10 minute slot, go for a walk and see how God just communes with your spirit. Even in the dead of winter, if you live somewhere cold, like if it's safe to do so. For me, I had to buy like the best pair of snow pants I could find because I used to really dislike the winter. And I would just become like really down in those winter months.   And so, God just convinced me, don't go outside every single day if it's for 10 minutes. And then pretty often he just extends that. Like I think I'm going out for 10 minutes. And sure enough, I'm like playing with my kids outside. It's much longer.   But yeah, as best as you can, just prioritize that. If you have to do it first thing in the morning to make sure it happens, go for a walk and watch the sunrise. And God is going to minister to your soul through his creation.   Laura Dugger: (56:35 - 56:54) Amen. Amen. That is so good.   And this conversation has been so rich. Eryn, it is just very clear you have filled up on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you have just poured out goodness and love and truth for all of us, all over all of us today. So, thank you for all that you shared. And thank you for being my guest.   Eryn Lynum: (56:55 - 57:03) Thank you. Thank you so much for that encouragement. That means a whole lot to me. So, thank you. And for the opportunity for a great conversation.   Laura Dugger: (57:03 - 1:03:10) I really enjoyed it.    One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

Redemption Church Peoria
1 Corinthians 1:18-2:5 | 1 Corinthians

Redemption Church Peoria

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 2, 2026 35:36


Sermon Series | 1 CorinthiansTo give to our M25 Initiative, text m25 to 623.252.5085 or visit redaz.in/m25.To download our Mobile App, search Redemption Church Peoria where you download apps to your device(s).To connect with us, visit this link:  http://redaz.in/RPTo invest in our ministry financially, visit this link: https://bit.ly/3roZDAW

Remarkable Results Radio Podcast
The 250K Mile Mindset: Selling Maintenance Without Selling Fear [THA 470]

Remarkable Results Radio Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 30, 2026 49:19


Thanks to our Partners, NAPA TRACS, Today's Class, KUKUI, and Pit Crew Loyalty Watch Full Video Episode Reaching 250,000 miles on a vehicle isn't luck—it's leadership. In this episode, we explore what long-term vehicle maintenance really looks like and why today's shops must rethink how they communicate with customers. Too often, maintenance is treated as a series of isolated repairs. This conversation reframes it as a strategic process built on education, transparency, planning, and advocacy. In this episode, you'll discover how to: Shift your shop culture from reactive repairs to proactive planningPosition service advisors as educators and advocatesUse cost-per-mile analysis to demonstrate real vehicle valueBuild trust through professional language and clear expectationsAlign inspections with long-term ownership goalsImprove maintenance acceptance without fear-based sellingCreate systems that support consistent follow-up Key Discussion Topics Why 250,000-mile vehicles are built through strategy, not chanceThe difference between transactional service and advisory leadershipUsing documentation and trends to guide decisionsStructuring pay plans to reinforce professionalismTurning maintenance into a long-term relationship Why This Episode Matters When customers understand that their vehicle can realistically reach 250,000 miles with the right care, everything changes. Trust improves. Approvals become easier. Loyalty deepens. And your shop evolves from a repair facility into a long-term partner in vehicle ownership. This episode shows how sophisticated professionalism, consistent processes, and education-first communication can transform both customer relationships and business performance. Brett Beachler, Beachler's Vehicle Care & Repair, Peoria, IL. Listen to Brett's previous episodes HERE Rena Rennebohm, CEO and Creator of Empowered Advisor. Rena's previous episodes 

Don’t Give Up on Testicular Cancer
Writing, Writing, Writing to Give Back to Testicular Cancer

Don’t Give Up on Testicular Cancer

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 28, 2026 31:50


Brian Sluga started running in sixth grade. His college track team didn't qualify for the national finals, so he went home, took a long shower, and discovered a lump on his testicle. He told his dad, who stopped mowing the yard and took Brian to their family doctor near Peoria, Illinois. After examining him, this doctor sent him to a urologist down the hall, who diagnosed testicular cancer. Sixteen hours later, Brian's surgeon removed the testicle. Because the cancer spread to his lymph nodes, Brian also had the RPLND surgery followed by regular blood tests and scans to monitor a possible recurrence, which did not happen.Fast forward some 40 years to 2026. Brian's new book, "The Shriek I Do Remember," will be released on February 8. It's about his testicular cancer journey and other stories about his life. From Brian Sluga's website, here is a look at the new book. "The Shriek I Do Remember is a story of hope. It'sthe story of a survivor, as Brian Sluga shares how, as a young college athlete, he found a lump. He had no idea what it was or how it would change his life."  Look for it on February 8.Enjoy this episode of Don't Give Up on Testicular Cancer to learn more about Brian Sluga, his testicular cancer story, and his writing. It comes to you from the Max Mallory Foundation.Send us a textSupport the showFind us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook & Linkedin. If you can please support our nonprofit through Patreon.

Redemption Church Peoria
1 Corinthians 1:10-17 | 1 Corinthians

Redemption Church Peoria

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 26, 2026 37:23


Sermon Series | 1 CorinthiansTo give to our M25 Initiative, text m25 to 623.252.5085 or visit redaz.in/m25.To download our Mobile App, search Redemption Church Peoria where you download apps to your device(s).To connect with us, visit this link:  http://redaz.in/RPTo invest in our ministry financially, visit this link: https://bit.ly/3roZDAW

Today in San Diego
San Diego Rentals Tax, Flood Anniversary, Padres Truck Day

Today in San Diego

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 22, 2026 3:46


A proposal to tax short-term rental properties in San Diego would tax $8,000 a year on empty second homes and short-term rental homes. Today marks two years since the devastating floods hit parts of San Diego County, where some areas got almost three inches of rain in just a few hours. The Padres clubhouse staff are loading all the equipment to take everything to Peoria, Arizona for Spring Training. 

WBBM Newsradio's 4:30PM News To Go
11-year-old Peoria pianist Amelia Ly makes international orchestral debut in Ukraine

WBBM Newsradio's 4:30PM News To Go

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 22, 2026 1:21


Eleven-year-old Peoria native Amelia Ly performed Beethoven's “Piano Concerto No. 2” with the Lviv National Philharmonic of Ukraine on January 16. The concert marked Amelia's international orchestral debut.

Aaron Scene's After Party
LIVE WITH THE CHOPPED CHAMPION feat. @bennyfranksep @chefenriquelozano @scissored_by_voodoo & @dontfollowfreddy

Aaron Scene's After Party

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 21, 2026 65:04


Coming at you LIVE from Benny Frank's! Where we are joined by Food Network's ‘Chopped' Champion Chef Enrique where he gives us some incite to being a chef, his speciality menu at Benny Frank's and the perks of being Chef Enrique. Plus Voo hits us with 21 questions where things get a little spicy. Follow us on social media @AaronScenesAfterParty

christmas united states tv love california live tiktok texas game halloween black world movies art stories school los angeles house nfl las vegas work giving sports ghosts politics college olympic games real mexico state reality challenges news san francisco west design travel games truth friend podcasts walk club comedy video holiday miami story spring food dj football brothers girl wild arizona creator dating boys rich sex walking artist fitness seattle brand radio fun kings playing dance girls tour owner team festival south nashville berlin mom chefs funny night san diego detroit professional network santa podcasting utah horror north bbc east band hotels basketball political league baseball toxic mayors experiences mlb feelings vacation sun hong kong baltimore camp kansas fight tx birds loves traveling videos beach snow couple queens daddy scary streaming dancing amsterdam feet salt moms weather television sexy lions championship concerts artists hurricanes sister photography thunder boy tiger new mexico lake eat soccer suck mtv personality fest beef spooky bar dare chiefs onlyfans snapchat stream plays vip cities receiving mayo naked foot oakland capitol jamaica showdown vibes sucks raw jail grandma olympians boxing whiskey rico fighters girlfriends measure sacramento bowl lightning toys cardi b parties photos lover smash workout tea vibe jokes paranormal joke phantom ravens bay epidemics nights barbers snoop dogg bars shots southwest cookies boyfriends scare metro coast cent dallas mavericks gym clubs improv cinco wide derby djs bands hook bite calendar hilarious padre seahawks gentlemen twin sanchez stark san francisco 49ers edm booking myers tweets delicious ranch el paso statue carnival tornados jaguars hats jamaican euphoria dancer downtown bit eats tequila lamar shot strippers blocking boobs taco bro rider foodies twisted bodybuilding evp paso fiesta 2022 sneaky streams voodoo mendoza strip wasted requests vodka flights uncut booty scottsdale food network radiohead sporting fam noche peach rebrand boxer riders nails blocked sausage toes smashing malone freaky jags horny futbol bud electrical ass yankee nm cancun 2024 peso towers bender wheelchairs micheal sis swingers claw sized inch peaks exotic playa stockton asu milfs toy hooters nightlife sucking glendale pantera chopped hoes newsrooms gras headquarters dancers tempe reggaeton mardi puerto dawg claws choreographers sizes bakersfield lv edc ranchers peoria juarez nab midland tailgate patio joking buns krueger foreplay videography snowstorms monsoons cum loverboy cumming tipsy titties crazies toe weatherman dispensaries noches unedited r rated corpus chicas titty asses bouncer funday utep bun throuple benders locas foo myke luchador hooking atx wild n out handicapped juiced plums chihuahuas cruces dispo medicated diablos toxica anuel foos bouncers fitlife music culture toxico nmsu chuco chopped champion rumps
Redemption Church Peoria
1 Corinthians 1:4-9 | 1 Corinthians

Redemption Church Peoria

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 19, 2026 38:14


Sermon Series | 1 CorinthiansTo give to our M25 Initiative, text m25 to 623.252.5085 or visit redaz.in/m25.To download our Mobile App, search Redemption Church Peoria where you download apps to your device(s).To connect with us, visit this link:  http://redaz.in/RPTo invest in our ministry financially, visit this link: https://bit.ly/3roZDAW

KJZZ's The Show
A group of Peoria neighbors tries to track down a beloved Denny's waiter

KJZZ's The Show

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 19, 2026 51:31


How the new chair of the Maricopa County Board of Supervisors wants to try to bring down the number of evictions. Plus, a group of Peoria neighbors tries to track down a beloved waiter at a local restaurant.

A Taste of AZ
sparrow - designing and building a restaurant experience pt. 3

A Taste of AZ

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 16, 2026 60:24


This episode is the final installment of our 3-part series discussing the designing, building, & opening Sparrow in Peoria—now open after years of planning and dedication. We sit down with the team to reflect on the entire journey, from early concept to opening day. With elevated American cuisine, a vibrant cocktail program, a striking bar, and a beautiful patio, Sparrow is a major new addition to the West Valley dining scene.   View the previous two episodes: Part 1: https://youtu.be/Sl6IU9L-tkM?si=NeMOe6zmrA6A61Yz Part 2: https://youtu.be/v-U82UJVsu4?si=6zt1XtMszTSOM9Vo   This episode is sponsored by Ganem Companies.    subscribe to our magazine: https://www.atasteofaz.com/subscribe a taste of az instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ATasteOfAZ/ a taste of az facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ATasteOfAZ/ a taste of az tik tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@atasteofaz

Chuck and Buck
Chuck & Buck 1-15 Hour 4: Cal Raleigh, Mike Sando and one last thing!

Chuck and Buck

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 15, 2026 39:16 Transcription Available


CAL RALEIGH joins the show! - Cal makes the sports rounds here in town- how cool is to be a sports hero and fan at the same time? - What's his prediction for the Seahawks game? - How does he feel looking back on the 2025 season? - How is he feeling about the offseason so far and the addition of Josh Naylor? - What is he focusing on this offseason to improve in 2026? :30- MIKE SANDO (The Athletic) makes his weekly visit to talk Divisional round playoffs. - We just watched the Seahawks handle the 49ers two weeks ago; why will Saturday be any different? - How will the other divisional round games shake out? - There were some big coaching shakeups this week- thoughts on Harbaugh in NY and Tomlin out in Pittsburgh? :45- We close out the show with one last thing! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Aaron Scene's After Party
MAN OF MYSTERY feat. @officialsmgbc & @scissored_by_voodoo

Aaron Scene's After Party

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 14, 2026 50:20


Its another episode of the After Party and on this one we feature the man behind the mask smgbc! He comes on to tell us about his move from Tampa Bay to El Paso, some horny stories and working and promoting in the EP nightlife. Follow us on social media @AaronScenesAfterParty

Kaplan and Crew
Jim Harbaugh & the Chargers Fire Greg Roman | Mike Tomlin Steps Down As Steelers Coach

Kaplan and Crew

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 13, 2026 117:37


The experts have weighed in, and they say Justin Herbert’s tape shows how bad he was on Sunday. The Rams are favored over the Bears in Chicago. The Texans beat the Steelers — was that the last game of Aaron Rodgers’ career? Are the Padres doing anything else before they report to Peoria?Support the show: http://kaplanandcrew.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Scott and BR - Interviews
Jim Harbaugh & the Chargers Fire Greg Roman | Mike Tomlin Steps Down As Steelers Coach

Scott and BR - Interviews

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 13, 2026 117:37


The experts have weighed in, and they say Justin Herbert’s tape shows how bad he was on Sunday. The Rams are favored over the Bears in Chicago. The Texans beat the Steelers — was that the last game of Aaron Rodgers’ career? Are the Padres doing anything else before they report to Peoria?Support the show: http://kaplanandcrew.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Retro Ridoctopus
The Brig: Rampage in Peoria (w/ game designer Brian F. Colin)

Retro Ridoctopus

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 13, 2026 75:18


Having worked for Bally Midway in the 1980s, game designer / artist / animator Brian F. Colin has created and worked on more classic arcade games than you can shake a giant mutant wolfman at! RAMPAGE, XENOPHOBE, ARCH RIVALS, PIGSKIN 621ad, GENERAL CHAOS and RAMPAGE WORLD TOUR, just to name a few! Brian infused each of these games with the sardonic wit of MAD Magazine, while ensuring each of these games pushed the limits of what had been created. These were titles that broke new ground and resonated with audiences of the day and are remembered fondly by classic gamers! Brian shares a metric ton of stories from his decades in the industry and dishes all about his upcoming Kickstarter: GENERAL CHAOS - MAJOR SNAFU! The Long-awaited Sequel to the hilarious Squad-based, RTS Sega Genesis Battlegame! General Chaos - Major Snafu is in Pre-Launch now and you should definitely sign up to be notified when the campaign launches! RETRO RIDOCTOPUS is ----------------------------------- "Parasite Steve"...... AKA Steve Van Samson (read) "8-Bit Alchemy "...... AKA Tim Krikorian (listen) "Coopster Gold"...... AKA Justin Cooper (subscribe) ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Retro Ridoctopus is a proud member of The Dorkening Podcast Network and is brought to you by Deadly Grounds Coffee. Podcast intro and all heavy metal interstitials by Enchanted Exile.

sequels squad rampage peoria brig game designers pre launch mad magazine pigskin brian f arch rivals xenophobe general chaos bally midway deadly grounds coffee
Ben & Woods On Demand Podcast
6am Hour - Weekend stories from Peoria + Alex Bregman signs with Cubs

Ben & Woods On Demand Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 12, 2026 44:04


Ben & Woods tell stories from their weekend in Peoria for Padres Fantasy Camp and discuss the Cubs signing Alex Bregman to a huge contract.

Redemption Church Peoria
1 Corinthians 1:1-3 | 1 Corinthians

Redemption Church Peoria

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 12, 2026 36:56


Sermon Series | 1 CorinthiansTo give to our M25 Initiative, text m25 to 623.252.5085 or visit redaz.in/m25.To download our Mobile App, search Redemption Church Peoria where you download apps to your device(s).To connect with us, visit this link:  http://redaz.in/RPTo invest in our ministry financially, visit this link: https://bit.ly/3roZDAW

Aaron Scene's After Party
COURTSIDE MAVERICK feat. @xo.mariza_ & @louis.lit

Aaron Scene's After Party

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 7, 2026 94:19


COURTSIDE MAVERICK feat. @xo.mariza_ & @louis.lit We're kicking off the new year with the OG horny crew! Mariza comes by for a little after party reunion as we catch up with her and her latest move to Dallas. She tells us why El Paso men give her the ick and she tells us all about her throuple in paradise. Follow us on social media @AaronScenesAfterParty

christmas united states tv love california tiktok texas game halloween black world movies art stories school los angeles house nfl las vegas work giving sports ghosts politics college olympic games real mexico state reality challenges news san francisco west design travel games truth friend podcasts walk club comedy video holiday miami story spring dj football brothers girl wild arizona creator dating boys rich sex walking artist fitness seattle brand radio fun kings playing dance girls tour owner team festival south nashville berlin mom chefs funny night san diego detroit professional santa podcasting utah horror north bbc east band hotels basketball political league baseball toxic mayors experiences mlb feelings vacation sun hong kong baltimore camp kansas fight tx birds loves traveling videos beach snow couple queens daddy scary streaming dancing amsterdam feet salt moms weather television sexy lions championship concerts artists hurricanes sister photography thunder boy tiger new mexico lake soccer suck mtv personality fest beef spooky bar dare chiefs onlyfans snapchat stream plays vip cities receiving mayo naked foot oakland capitol jamaica showdown vibes sucks raw jail grandma olympians boxing whiskey rico fighters girlfriends measure sacramento bowl lightning toys cardi b parties photos lover smash workout tea vibe jokes paranormal joke phantom ravens bay epidemics nights barbers snoop dogg bars shots southwest cookies boyfriends scare metro coast cent dallas mavericks gym clubs improv cinco wide derby djs bands hook bite calendar hilarious padre seahawks gentlemen twin sanchez stark san francisco 49ers edm booking myers tweets delicious ranch el paso statue carnival tornados jaguars hats jamaican euphoria dancer downtown bit tequila lamar shot strippers blocking boobs taco bro rider twisted bodybuilding evp paso fiesta 2022 sneaky streams mendoza strip wasted requests vodka flights uncut booty scottsdale radiohead sporting fam noche peach rebrand boxer riders nails blocked sausage toes smashing malone jags freaky horny futbol bud electrical ass yankee nm cancun 2024 peso towers bender wheelchairs micheal sis swingers claw sized inch peaks exotic playa stockton asu milfs toy hooters nightlife sucking glendale pantera hoes newsrooms gras headquarters dancers tempe reggaeton mardi puerto dawg claws choreographers sizes bakersfield lv edc ranchers peoria juarez nab midland tailgate patio joking buns krueger foreplay videography snowstorms monsoons cum loverboy cumming tipsy titties crazies toe weatherman dispensaries noches unedited r rated corpus chicas titty asses bouncer funday utep courtside bun throuple locas benders foo myke luchador hooking atx wild n out handicapped juiced plums chihuahuas cruces dispo mariza medicated diablos toxica anuel bouncers foos fitlife music culture toxico nmsu chuco rumps
Redemption Church Peoria
Luke 2 | Standalone Sermons

Redemption Church Peoria

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 5, 2026 42:25


Sermon Series | Standalone SermonsTo give to our M25 Initiative, text m25 to 623.252.5085 or visit redaz.in/m25.To download our Mobile App, search Redemption Church Peoria where you download apps to your device(s).To connect with us, visit this link:  http://redaz.in/RPTo invest in our ministry financially, visit this link: https://bit.ly/3roZDAW

Reflections
Circumcision and Name of Jesus

Reflections

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 1, 2026 6:14


January 1, 2026Today's Reading: Luke 2:21Daily Lectionary: Isaiah 61:1-11; Luke 1:57-80“And at the end of eight days, when he was circumcised, he was called Jesus, the name given by the angel before he was conceived in the womb.” (Luke 2:21)In the Name + of Jesus. Amen.There is something remarkable and yet so subtle in the Christmas story: the Holy Child of Bethlehem is not called Jesus until the eighth day when He is circumcised. Before verse 21, He is referred to as the baby, the child, Christ, and Lord, all glorious titles, but the personal, saving name of Jesus is bestowed upon Him in the covenant of circumcision. This is not merely a name His parents have placed upon Him from their own whims. It is the Name given by the Father in Heaven. “You shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins” (Matthew 1:21). Jesus means “YHWH saves.” This is God's covenant Name for His Son. And Jesus lived by it to completion. He is what His Name declares: YHWH saves. From His circumcision to His crucifixion, from that first cut of blood to the New Creation of His resurrection, Jesus fulfills the meaning of His Name for you and me. And now, you who are baptized, you are in His Name. You have been baptized into the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit (Matthew 28:19). You are clothed in Christ. His Name is on you even as you now dwell in His Name. When the Lord sees you, He does not remember your sin or your shame, but sees the beloved child now dwelling safely in the shelter of the Name of Jesus, “YHWH Saves!” So call upon His Name. Live under His Name. And rejoice that, as Acts 4:12 says, “there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.” The Name was given, the flesh was cut, the covenant fulfilled. Your name was given, the Water and the Word applied, and now the salvation declared in the Holy Name of Jesus is yours.In the Name + of Jesus. Amen.Lord God, You made Your beloved Son, our Savior, subject to the Law and caused Him to shed His blood on our behalf. Grant us the true circumcision of the Spirit that our hearts may be made pure from all sins; through Jesus Christ, our Lord, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.Author: Rev. Matthew Synnott, associate pastor of Trinity Lutheran Church, Peoria, Illinois.Audio Reflections Speaker: Rev. Richard Heinz, pastor at Trinity Lutheran Church in Lowell, IN.Work through the first ten chapters of Matthew and learn more about who Jesus is. As you move through this study, you'll ponder the theological, practical, and historical considerations of the text. With ample room for personal notes, this study will have you feeling confident in your understanding of Matthew's Gospel. Matthew 1:1-11:1 of the new Concordia Commentary Bible Study Series is available now.

Jacob Vi Weekly
Corey Feldman vs the World

Jacob Vi Weekly

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 31, 2025 63:30


We saw Corey Feldman's "Angelic to the Tour" in two different phases back when it was running. Once in Peoria. Another in Kansas City. The new documentary "Corey Feldman vs the World," is the behind the scenes of much of that strange time. I bought and repeatedly watched it so you don't have to!

Reflections
Eve of the Circumcision and Name of Jesus

Reflections

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 31, 2025 6:18


December 31, 2025Today's Reading: Luke 12:35-40Daily Lectionary: Isaiah 60:1-22; Luke 1:39-56“Blessed are those servants whom the master finds awake when he comes…You also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.” (Luke 12:37, 40)In the Name + of Jesus. Amen.Awake and ready! These are the words our Lord Jesus uses to describe the mission of His disciples, you and I included. In other words, Christ Jesus has served us with His everlasting love and mercy given on the cross, and He has summoned us to Christian vigilance. How different it is in the world on this day they call “New Year's Eve.” The past is drowned in licentiousness and over-indulgence in libations, the future is ushered in with revelry, and the next day brings the same old-same old. The same sinner led astray by the same sins and the same empty promises. Christian vigilance is different, though; it is a sanctified sobriety! When we hear the word “sober,” it's easy to think it means somber, overly serious, or no fun. But go back to those words of our Lord, “Awake and ready.” To be awake means your eyes are open; open to the truth of the Gospel, open to the truth of what is pleasing in the sight of the Lord, and open to the joy of eternity with Christ. You are not lulled with the sleep of sin or the numbing pleasures of a passing era because your eyes are on the splendid promise of Christ Jesus. To be ready means that your eyes are not only opened, but you are dressed in your baptismal identity as servants of righteousness. Your belt tightened, your lamp of faith lit, and your hands ready to serve Him in the places He has given you responsibility. Jesus is not calling us to earn our salvation in watchfulness, but to live as those who by grace, belong to Jesus the master, and to live as those who know the joy that is coming. For when the Master returns, it is He who will dress Himself in action and serve us. This passage is not just a warning; it is a joyful promise of what is to come. He will serve us with resurrected bodies. He will serve us by gathering us unto His presence forever. In the Name + of Jesus. Amen.“Wake, awake, for night is flying,” The watchmen on the heights are crying; “Awake, Jerusalem, arise!” Midnight hears the welcome voices And at the thrilling cry rejoices; “Oh, where are ye, ye virgins wise?” The Bridegroom comes, awake! Your lamps with gladness take! Alleluia! With bridal care Yourselves prepare To meet the Bridegroom, who is near.” (LSB 516:1)Author: Rev. Matthew Synnott, associate pastor of Trinity Lutheran Church, Peoria, Illinois.Audio Reflections Speaker: Rev. Richard Heinz, pastor at Trinity Lutheran Church in Lowell, IN.Work through the first ten chapters of Matthew and learn more about who Jesus is. As you move through this study, you'll ponder the theological, practical, and historical considerations of the text. With ample room for personal notes, this study will have you feeling confident in your understanding of Matthew's Gospel. Matthew 1:1-11:1 of the new Concordia Commentary Bible Study Series is available now.

Reflections
Tuesday of the First Week After Christmas

Reflections

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 30, 2025 5:49


December 30, 2025Today's Reading: Isaiah 11:1-5 or 2 Samuel 7:1-16Daily Lectionary: Isaiah 58:1-59:3, 14-21; Luke 1:26-38“There shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse, and a branch from his roots shall bear fruit. And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him…” (Isaiah 11:1-2a)In the Name + of Jesus. Amen.Our lives and even this world (our newsfeeds, our headlines, our daily burdens) can so often feel like a dead stump. Hopeless. Lifeless. Good for nothing. Maybe your heart feels like that today; cut down & good for nothing. But God is not done with stumps. Hear the Word of the Lord: “There shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse, and a branch from his roots shall bear fruit.” (Isaiah 11:1) From a line that looked like it had fallen prey to the lumberjack, the House and lineage of David, God promised a tender shoot. Not one more stump that reminds us of our sinful failure and faithlessness, but a shoot that would take root and grow into a glorious vine. Christ Jesus has taken what was dead, and by His miraculous conception in the blessed virgin and His glorious birth from her womb, the House of David is alive forevermore! And this Jesus declares, “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit…” You are now a branch in the vine of David, and His mercy and forgiveness flow even into the places that you may have thought were dead and beyond repair. Baptized into Him, and fed with His Body and Blood flowing within you, let Him nourish you. He is the vine and the root that will never wither. He is the King who will never turn a blind eye to your need, whose Kingdom shall have no end. In the Name + of Jesus. Amen.This flow'r, whose fragrance tender With sweetness fills the air, Dispels with glorious splendor The darkness everywhere. True man, yet very God. From sin and death He saves us And lightens every load. O Savior, child of Mary, Who felt our human woe; O Savior, King of glory, Who dost our weakness know: Bring us at length we pray To the bright courts of heaven, And to the endless day. (LSB 359:3-4)Author: Rev. Matthew Synnott, associate pastor of Trinity Lutheran Church, Peoria, Illinois.Audio Reflections Speaker: Rev. Richard Heinz, pastor at Trinity Lutheran Church in Lowell, IN.Work through the first ten chapters of Matthew and learn more about who Jesus is. As you move through this study, you'll ponder the theological, practical, and historical considerations of the text. With ample room for personal notes, this study will have you feeling confident in your understanding of Matthew's Gospel. Matthew 1:1-11:1 of the new Concordia Commentary Bible Study Series is available now.

Redemption Church Peoria
Remembering Forward | Standalone Sermons

Redemption Church Peoria

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 29, 2025 28:35


Sermon Series | Standalone SermonsTo give to our M25 Initiative, text m25 to 623.252.5085 or visit redaz.in/m25.To download our Mobile App, search Redemption Church Peoria where you download apps to your device(s).To connect with us, visit this link:  http://redaz.in/RPTo invest in our ministry financially, visit this link: https://bit.ly/3roZDAW

Reflections
Monday of the First Week After Christmas

Reflections

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 29, 2025 6:14


December 29, 2025Today's Reading: Luke 2:(22-32) 33-40Daily Lectionary: Isaiah 55:1-13; Luke 1:1-25“...for my eyes have seen your salvation that you have prepared in the presence of all peoples…” (Luke 2:30-31)In the Name + of Jesus. Amen.It is now the fifth day of Christmas, and what is it that you see? Do your eyes gaze on a tree that was once brimming with anticipation, gifts, and loved ones? But now does it feel like an empty shell? Do you look at your house, dormitory, or apartment and see emptiness where there was once the hustle and bustle of family gatherings? Or perhaps you look at a countertop that is stacked with papers, a reminder of everything you failed to do before the rush of Christmas Eve/Day? Our dear brother, Simeon, by the Holy Spirit was promised “consolation.” His eyes, like many others, looked at a temple that was bereft of the glory of God; the LORD's weighty and splendid presence no longer there. But all of it changed that day when the blessed Mother arrived at the temple with the Holy Child, Jesus. “That's the One,” the Spirit of God affirmed in Simeon. And it is here that Simeon sings a crucial song about his eyes, “My eyes have seen your salvation that you have prepared in the presence of all peoples.” What is it that Simeon's eyes see? A temple with no glory? No. A life that is too old or far gone? No. What is it that Simeon sees? He sees the reason that he can be set free in peace. He sees the very light that will lift the nations out of darkness and idolatry. He sees the glory of Israel. He sees SALVATION! What is it that Simeon beholds in faith? Jesus. And that is all he needs. It's no wonder that after we have beheld and tasted of Christ, through His Body and Blood in, with, and under the bread and wine, we Lutherans sing with Simeon his song! For with eyes of faith, the light of Christ has cast away our sin with forgiveness, our death with Life. The glory of Jesus has crowned us, so that we may be changed from glory to glory (2 Corinthians 3:18). So then, it is now the fifth day of Christmas, and what is it that you see? Promises upon promises fulfilled in Christ, that is what you see.In the Name + of Jesus. Amen.Christ Jesus brought this gift to me, My faithful Savior, Whom You have made my eyes to see By Your favor. Now I know He is my life, My friend when I am dying. (LSB 938:2)Author: Rev. Matthew Synnott, associate pastor of Trinity Lutheran Church, Peoria, Illinois.Audio Reflections Speaker: Rev. Richard Heinz, pastor at Trinity Lutheran Church in Lowell, IN.Work through the first ten chapters of Matthew and learn more about who Jesus is. As you move through this study, you'll ponder the theological, practical, and historical considerations of the text. With ample room for personal notes, this study will have you feeling confident in your understanding of Matthew's Gospel. Matthew 1:1-11:1 of the new Concordia Commentary Bible Study Series is available now.

Reflections
The Holy Innocents, Martyrs

Reflections

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2025 6:27


December 28, 2025Today's Reading: Matthew 2:13-18Daily Lectionary: Isaiah 52:13-54:10; Matthew 2:13-23“Then was fulfilled what was spoken by the prophet Jeremiah: ‘A voice was heard in Ramah, weeping and loud lamentation, Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be comforted for they are no more.'” (Matthew 2:17-18)In the Name + of Jesus. Amen.Christmas is war. That may sound jarring in our ears, but we cannot forget that truth. Yes, the incarnation of our Lord has raised up the sons of Adam out of the sinful curse of thorns and thistles, dust and ashes. Yes, the birth of our Lord proclaims that we now live in Anno Domini (A.D.), salvation is ours, and eternal glory with God is ours by Christ as a free gift. But Rachel, who was buried in Bethlehem, becomes the embodiment of every Mother in Bethlehem whose son was murdered by Herod. And she weeps, mourns, and wails because Christmas is war, and war has spilled upon the innocent. The birth of the Savior is the first blow against the gates of Hell. It is terror unto demons and those who have allowed themselves to be twisted in wickedness, like King Herod. Herod understood that his wicked act was not merely of the earthly sort. He heard the Magi, he sought the scribes, he listened to the prophecy; Herod sought to fight against God. And this was a fight He'd never win. Today we remember these innocents, who died in the place of Christ, but we do not only remember in bitter tears, but with quiet hope because eventually Christ would die for them. We remember the promise that “precious/costly in the sight of the LORD, are the death of His saints.” (Psalm 116:15) What was lost and stolen from them has already been restored by His innocent death and glorious resurrection. And He will restore fully at His final Advent. And on that day, we will stand in the fullness of God's glory along with these blessed children, along with Rachel, and we will be comforted; our sorrow transformed by the radiant splendor of our God and King. Until then, Christmas remains a war, but a war that has been won by Christ. So do not grow weary; let the demons tremble, let the wicked repent and return to their gracious King Jesus, and let the redeemed stand tall in the splendor of the Gospel.In the Name + of Jesus. Amen.All praise for infant martyrs, Whom Your mysterious love Called early from their warfare To share Your home above. O Rachel, cease your weeping; They rest from earthly cares! Lord, grant us crowns as brilliant And faith as sure as theirs. (LSB 517:9)Author: Rev. Matthew Synnott, associate pastor of Trinity Lutheran Church, Peoria, Illinois.Audio Reflections Speaker: Rev. Richard Heinz, pastor at Trinity Lutheran Church in Lowell, IN.Work through the first ten chapters of Matthew and learn more about who Jesus is. As you move through this study, you'll ponder the theological, practical, and historical considerations of the text. With ample room for personal notes, this study will have you feeling confident in your understanding of Matthew's Gospel. Matthew 1:1-11:1 of the new Concordia Commentary Bible Study Series is available now.

Drunken Lullabies: Drunk At The Movies
Radio Rewind 205: 12/26/25

Drunken Lullabies: Drunk At The Movies

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 26, 2025 166:53


December 26, 2025 Today we look at the top songs debuting on the Billboard chart this week back in 1985, 1995, 2005, & 2015. Dustin & Jason give Tyler the final show of the season off and welcome back some more friends from the Peoria music scene, Tyson & Miranda, The Fantastic Plastics. We discuss 12 songs from this week in music history, including 7 Top 10s and 1 #1. We have new songs from Starship, T-Pain, Jordan Smith, The Beatles, and more. Want to be cool like us and watch the music videos for all the songs? Then here's a convenient playlist that has them all in order of discussion.

Shootin' the Breeze with Your Local Weather Authority
Shootin' The Breeze: A look back on the year

Shootin' the Breeze with Your Local Weather Authority

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2025 50:31


On episode 94 of Shootin' The Breeze Meteorologists Nathan Kitchens and Molly Naslund look back on the weather events of the year

Redemption Church Peoria
Matthew 1:18–25 | Advent: The Arrival of Christ for an Anxious World

Redemption Church Peoria

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2025 37:24


Sermon Series | Advent: The Arrival of Christ for an Anxious WorldTo give to our M25 Initiative, text m25 to 623.252.5085 or visit redaz.in/m25.To download our Mobile App, search Redemption Church Peoria where you download apps to your device(s).To connect with us, visit this link:  http://redaz.in/RPTo invest in our ministry financially, visit this link: https://bit.ly/3roZDAW

Sermons – Grace In the Desert
“Of Time & Timelessness”

Sermons – Grace In the Desert

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 20, 2025


Devotion From Pastor Greg in our annual Christmas program –  A Grace In the Desert Christmas 2025 If you would like to see the full program you would be blessed to CLICK HERE!  

Drunken Lullabies: Drunk At The Movies
Radio Rewind 204: 12/19/25

Drunken Lullabies: Drunk At The Movies

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2025 183:31


December 19, 2025 Today we look at the top songs debuting on the Billboard chart this week back in 1985, 1995, 2005, & 2015. Dustin, Jason, and Tyler welcome a first-time guest and Peoria music scene staple, Chris from Super 88 & Tina Sparkle. We discuss 12 songs from this week in music history, including 3 Top 10s including 1 #1. We have new songs from Eminem, Prince, Mr Mister, PSY, and more. Want to be cool like us and watch the music videos for all the songs? Then here's a convenient playlist that has them all in order of discussion.

The Mike Broomhead Show Audio
Jason Beck, Mayor of Peoria

The Mike Broomhead Show Audio

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2025 9:35


It's that time of year and the city of Peoria is busy trying to full up those stockings with the "Day of Giving". Find out how you can help as we talked to Peoria mayor Jason beck. 

Bigfoot Society
Driver Spots Juvenile Bigfoot Near Pennsylvania Grand Canyon / Peoria, Illinois Updates!

Bigfoot Society

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 18, 2025 63:01 Transcription Available


A driver traveling Route 6 near the Pennsylvania Grand Canyon witnesses a shocking encounter with a lean, black, juvenile Bigfoot that darts into the brush in seconds. In this episode, we explore her detailed account of the creature's shape, movement, and behavior—along with how the sighting has stayed with her for nearly a decade.But the mystery doesn't end in Pennsylvania. We also dive into multiple Bigfoot encounters across Central Illinois, including East Peoria, Farmdale, Mapleton, Goofy Ridge, Jubilee State Park, and Banner Marsh. From massive footprints in frozen creeks, to dark figures rising from cornfields, to pounding inside outbuildings at 3 AM, to strange lights moving through the treetops—witnesses describe chilling moments they've never forgotten.This episode brings together first-person testimonies, regional Bigfoot hotspots, and decades of sightings, revealing a pattern of activity that follows waterways, remote forests, and isolated rural corridors throughout the Midwest and Northeast.If you're fascinated by Bigfoot sightings, cryptid encounters, wilderness mysteries, or eyewitness stories that challenge what we think we know, this conversation is a must-listen.Topics Covered:– Juvenile Bigfoot sighting on Route 6 near Gaines & Ansonia, PA– Pennsylvania Grand Canyon (Pine Creek Gorge) encounter details– Bigfoot footprint discovery in East Peoria– Shadow figures, creature structures, and creek-side sightings– Farmdale tree-line encounter and runaway eyewitness– Mapleton cornfield creature rising to full height– Terrifying pounding in a Jubilee State Park outbuilding– Strange pulsating forest lights– Historical patterns of Illinois Bigfoot reports– Emotional impact on witnesses over decades

Saturday Sports Talk
Slap Shots with Mike Murray (12.18.25)

Saturday Sports Talk

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 18, 2025 18:58


Ice Bears President and CEO Mike Murray joins John Wilkerson to discuss the team's upcoming home-and-home weekend starting on Friday and recaps the team's recent trip to Peoria.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

WNML All Audio Main Channel
Slap Shots with Mike Murray (12.18.25)

WNML All Audio Main Channel

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 18, 2025 18:58


Ice Bears President and CEO Mike Murray joins John Wilkerson to discuss the team's upcoming home-and-home weekend starting on Friday and recaps the team's recent trip to Peoria.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Out and About
Ed Caballero details New Year's Eve Salsa at the Contemporary Art Center of Peoria

Out and About

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 18, 2025 5:00


On this week's episode of Out and About, Dr. Mae Gilliland of ArtsPartners of Central Illinois talks with DJ and dance instructor Ed Caballero about New Year's Eve Salsa at the Contemporary Art Center ofPeoria.

MGoBlog: The MGoPodcast
MGoPodcast 17.16: Pending A Background Check

MGoBlog: The MGoPodcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 15, 2025 114:11


1 hour and 54 minutes The Sponsors Thank you to Underground Printing for making this all possible. Rishi and Ryan have been our biggest supporters from the beginning. Check out their wide selection of officially licensed Michigan fan gear at their 3 store locations in Ann Arbor or learn about their custom apparel business at undergroundshirts.com. Our associate sponsors are: Peak Wealth Management, Matt Demorest - Realtor and Lender, Ann Arbor Elder Law, Michigan Law Grad, Human Element, Sharon's Heating & Air Conditioning, The Sklars Brothers, Champions Circle, Winewood Organics, Community Pest Solutions, Venue by 4M where record this, and Introducing this season: Radecki Oral Surgery, and Long Road Distillers. 1. What Happened Starts at :51 Sometimes in December we don't have enough content for a podcast... this week there is enough for a podcast. Michigan football has been thrown into chaos following the Sherrone Moore firing. This is the third out of five Warde Manuel hires in the three most important sports to have left in disgrace (also Jim Harbaugh depending on who you ask). There have been too many red flags on too many hires. There is no oversight within the athletic department and then you have to do an investigation instead of preventing one. The only reason the WiFi is better at Michigan Stadium is because of the Zach Bryan concert, not because they cared about the fan experience. Fans are just a piggy bank. Michigan is way too much in the news right now. If "a lot of people knew about this" then why didn't someone say something sooner? Warde lost credibility after his handling of Mel Pearson and he doesn't get credit for Brandon Naurato. Grandmas in Peoria know too much about the Michigan athletic department.  2. Coaching Search Bits Starts at 27:41 Michigan needs a new head football coach. How good do we feel going into it? Probably about a B-. There's not an obvious slam dunk candidate. The three big names are Kalen DeBoer, Kenny Dillingham, and Jedd Fisch. If Alabama wins their first playoff game then DeBoer is almost entirely off the table, if they lose to Oklahoma then there's enough smoke to believe he might think about it. Would DeBoer really leave Alabama though? It's not a place that coaches leave and he's a long shot even if they lose to Oklahoma. Kenny Dillingham played for Arizona State and has a lot of family and connections in Phoenix, he might just be a long shot to convince to move from home. Kenny Dillingham is young, he watches Stranger Things and doesn't understand all the references. What about Jeff Brohm? Jedd Fisch is good at roster construction and handling QBs, something that would be nice for Michigan right now. Jake Butt had a strong endorsement for Jedd. Some coaches wouldn't have former players stomping for them. Jason Eck is a fun name but he's never proven himself at a major program. Based on everything so far, it feels like it's probably Jedd Fisch (PENDING A BACKGROUND CHECK). Which assistant coaches/coordinators would you keep?  3. Hot Takes, Men's Basketball vs Maryland Starts at 54:31 Takes hotter than... actually we need takes about half of where they could go. We need to dial it back this week. Thankfully we can now turn our attention to basketball! Michigan 101, Maryland 83, a strange game. David Coit was hitting threes from every heavenly covered shot. When Michigan was down by 9 Kenpom still had them 76% to win. Maryland went 14-27 from three and Michigan still covered the Kenpom spread. This game was the script for Michigan to lose a game and won by 18. Brian reads Yaxel's boxscore poetically because it deserves it. Solomon Washington got ejected for two technicals. Michigan navigated foul trouble and you probably didn't even notice. Michigan is actually top 50 in three point shooting.  4. Men's Basketball vs Villanova Starts at 1:38:12 They went up by 30 at halftime and only won by 30?? What are we even doing here. You look at some of these top 50, top 25 teams on the schedule, could they beat Michigan in Ann Arbor? No way. Being #1 in two point defense with this schedule is insane. Michigan is identifying their weaknesses and working on them, that's terrifying for opposing teams. What is this team's weakness now? Hey, shout out to undefeated Nebrasketball!  MUSIC: "PH Suite"—Curtis Dro and Lamar Woods "Man I Need"—Olivia Dean "I Got Flavor"—LaRussell and Lil John “Across 110th Street”—JJ Johnson and his Orchestra   

Redemption Church Peoria
Luke 1:39–56 | Advent: The Arrival of Christ for an Anxious World

Redemption Church Peoria

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 15, 2025 37:37


Sermon Series | Advent: The Arrival of Christ for an Anxious WorldTo give to our M25 Initiative, text m25 to 623.252.5085 or visit redaz.in/m25.To download our Mobile App, search Redemption Church Peoria where you download apps to your device(s).To connect with us, visit this link:  http://redaz.in/RPTo invest in our ministry financially, visit this link: https://bit.ly/3roZDAW

The 21st Show
New video game provides virtual drive to cities across Illinois

The 21st Show

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 15, 2025


SCS Software, the makers of American Truck Simulator, is soon releasing an expansion for the game that highlights several cities across Illinois, including Chicago, Champaign, Peoria, Quincy, Moline, Rockford, several interstates and Davenport, Iowa.   The 21st Show is Illinois' statewide weekday public radio talk show, connecting Illinois and bringing you the news, culture, and stories that matter to the 21st state. Have thoughts on the show or one of our episodes, or want to share an idea for something we should talk about? Send us an email: talk@21stshow.org. If you'd like to have your say as we're planning conversations, join our texting group! Just send the word "TALK" to (217) 803-0730. Subscribe to our podcast and hear our latest conversations.   Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6PT6pb0 Find past segments, links to our social media and more at our website: 21stshow.org.

Out and About
Peoria musician Barry Cloyd leads The Celtic Winter Solstice Celebration

Out and About

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 10, 2025 5:00


On this week's episode of Out and About, Dr. Mae Gilliland of ArtsPartners of Central Illinois talks with musician Barry Cloyd about The Celtic Winter Solstice Celebration, now in its 25th year.

Redemption Church Peoria
Luke 2:8–14 | Advent: The Arrival of Christ for an Anxious World

Redemption Church Peoria

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 8, 2025 35:13


Sermon Series | Advent: The Arrival of Christ for an Anxious WorldTo give to our M25 Initiative, text m25 to 623.252.5085 or visit redaz.in/m25.To download our Mobile App, search Redemption Church Peoria where you download apps to your device(s).To connect with us, visit this link:  http://redaz.in/RPTo invest in our ministry financially, visit this link: https://bit.ly/3roZDAW

Boys' Lunch
#100 - 100! (ft. Fr. Chase)

Boys' Lunch

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 8, 2025 34:39


We sit down with Fr. Chase Hilgenbrinck, the Vocations Director for the Diocese of Peoria. We talk about hearing God's voice, discerning, taking action, advice for parents and more. We could have kept talking for awhile so hopefully we can have Fr. Chase back on some time soon. Enjoy!

god diocese peoria vocations director
The Savvy Sauce
277_Breaking Through Addiction in Marriage with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith

The Savvy Sauce

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 1, 2025 57:47


277. Breaking Through Addiction in Marriage with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith   *DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults.   1 John 1:9 AMP "If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose].”   *Transcription Below*   Thank You to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company   Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are clinicians, speakers, and authors with over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Their mission is to help couples navigate the complexities of relational challenges, particularly in the aftermath of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, fostering deep restoration and growth.   Matthew is a Professional Certified Coach (ICF) with a background in pastoral leadership, while Joanna is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, EMDR practitioner, and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist through APSATS. Both hold Master of Divinity degrees and have served together on multiple church leadership teams. Currently, they co-lead their private practice, The Raabsmith Team, where they specialize in helping couples rebuild connection, trust, and intimacy.   Their passion for this work stems from their own journey of restoration. After experiencing the devastating effects of sexual addiction and betrayal in their marriage, Matthew and Joanna embarked on a years-long pursuit of reconciliation. This transformative experience led to the creation of tools like The Intimacy Pyramid™, a practical model for relational restoration and growth co-created with colleague Dan Drake.    Their first book, Building True Intimacy (2023), has sold over 1,000 copies and provides practical guidance for couples to use the Intimacy Pyramid to create enduring connections. They also founded Renewing Us Recovery™, a comprehensive program designed to support couples in the later stages of relational restoration. In November 2025, they will host the inaugural Renewing Us Couples Retreat, offering workshops and connection opportunities for couples on similar paths of recovery and growth.   Matthew and Joanna live in Memphis, Tennessee with their three young children. They prioritize self-care through shared adventures, new experiences, and a weekly game of pickleball.   Free Resource Mentioned in Episode   Building True Intimacy book   Questions and Topics Discussed: What were the warning signs that you noticed when you were newlyweds that tipped you off to believing things weren't quite as they seemed? Are there any common life circumstances, whether nature or nurture, that predispose someone to be more likely to struggle with a sexual addiction? As couples seek to thrive in marriage, will you give us an overview of the intimacy pyramid you wrote a book about?   Other Episodes Mentioned During Episode: Pornography: Protecting Children, Personal Healing, Recovery, and Victory in Christ with Sam Black Pornography Addiction and Helpful Recovery with Crystal Renaud Day   Additional Related Episodes on The Savvy Sauce: Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder Protecting Your Marriage Against Unfaithfulness with Dave Carder Stories Series: Recovery From Sexual Sin in Marriage with Garrett and Brenna Naufel Supernatural Restoration Story with Bob and Audrey Meisner Special Patreon Re-Release Wholehearted Quiet Time with Naomi Vacaro   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”   Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”   John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:12)   Laura Dugger: (0:13 - 1:38) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   Leman Property Management Company has the apartment you will be able to call home, with over 1,700 apartment units available in Central Illinois. Visit them today at lemanproperties.com, or connect with them on Facebook.   Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are my guests today. They are clinicians, speakers, and authors with over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Our conversation takes a few turns, from getting to hear their incredible and vulnerable story of healing and then getting tips for talking to our children about topics like sex, and also even receiving some practical wisdom and tips for enhancing our own marital enjoyment.   Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Matthew and Joanna.   Matthew Raabsmith: (1:39 - 1:40) So good to be here.   Joanna Raabsmith: (1:40 - 1:42) So glad to be here. Thanks for having us.   Laura Dugger: (1:42 - 1:51) Oh, truly my pleasure. And let's just start here. Can you share your story going back to meeting and falling in love and your first part of marriage?   Matthew Raabsmith: (1:53 - 2:17) Sure, yeah. It was a little bumpy at first, actually. So, I knew Joanna through her brother. Joanna's brother was one of my best friends, and I got to meet her whenever she would come in town and visit, and she would invade guy night. He would usually bring her along to like a Lord of the Rings movie or something, and I would be a little frustrated because I would be like, oh, you brought your sister. Great. That's wonderful.   Joanna Raabsmith: (2:18 - 2:24) A little off-putting, not super friendly. And I was like, your friend's kind of a jerk. We did not like each other at all in the beginning.   Matthew Raabsmith: (2:24 - 2:54) Not big fans. And eventually over some time, we started to realize we had a lot in common. We liked to do a lot of the same things.   And one summer that Joanna was in town, we started hanging out, started doing more and more together, and really just kind of developed a friendship, which was really fun. And at the very end of the summer, realized that there was something between us. And so, we went on one date.   Our first date, we entered a golf tournament. We won it, and that was a good sign.   Joanna Raabsmith: (2:54 - 2:55) That's a pretty good sign.   Matthew Raabsmith: (2:55 - 3:02) And we went on three more dates over the course of two months and got engaged.   Joanna Raabsmith: (3:03 - 3:07) And then two months after that, we got married.   Matthew Raabsmith: (3:07 - 3:16) Yeah. So, her brother went from like, yeah, it's cool you date my sister, to like, you're not ready to get married. But he's come around now.   Joanna Raabsmith: (3:17 - 3:19) 15 years later. Yeah.   Matthew Raabsmith: (3:19 - 3:40) And, you know, a lot of it was, I think we had a definite sense of being kind of called together, being, you know, something special about who we were as a couple. And also, a recognition that we wanted to figure out what a good marriage looked like. We were really excited about marriage, but we didn't really know what we were doing.   Joanna Raabsmith: (3:41 - 4:15) Yeah, I've had a really great model of healthy relationship. My parents have a wonderful marriage. They work really well as a team.   And so, I knew, like, I want something like that. But as soon as we got married, we realized, but how do you actually build that? There's no, like, instruction manual for, okay, here are the things to do to have a great relationship.   And so, we read books. We went to conferences. You know, we did what we could, but we still found ourselves getting stuck, not able to really create, like, that deep sense of, like, connection intimacy that we really wanted.   Matthew Raabsmith: (4:15 - 5:17) And we started kind of hunting more and more for resources. We found some incredible resources that really changed our understanding of the way relationships work, the way people work, and really, for us, shifted our entire focus of kind of what we wanted to do, even with our life. And as we started to do that, though, we still kind of found ourselves at this kind of glass wall.   We felt like no matter what we tried, there was always this kind of distance between us. And that started to grow kind of over the years that we were together. It wasn't getting better.   It was actually kind of getting worse and worse and worse. And so, Joanna had actually decided to, after we finished our first grad degree together, the idea was we were going to go be pastors. And so, we had finished our kind of theological training.   Joanna decided she wanted to get a master's in marriage and family therapy so we could do some work around marriages and ministry in that way. And her very first-class kind of just set our life in a completely different direction.   Joanna Raabsmith: (5:17 - 6:26) Yes. So, my first class in the MFT program was a two-week intensive called Shame and Guilt. So, that's a really fun two-week intensive to be a part of. And as a part of that, though, they had an anonymous pastor come and share his testimony of struggling with sex addiction, becoming sober, getting into good recovery, healing and restoration in his marriage, kind of like that whole journey. And as he was talking, something inside of me started stirring. And I knew, OK, what he's saying is resonating way too much with me right now.   I think this is the thing. This is what is keeping us stuck, not able to really create the relationship we want. And so, that day I went home and first I just kind of started talking about my class, what I learned, what this pastor had shared.   Right. And nothing. Right.   We're just kind of talking generally about it. And so, finally I couldn't do it anymore. And I just stopped and I looked him square in the eyes and I said, “Are you struggling with this in our marriage right now?”   Matthew Raabsmith: (6:26 - 8:03) Yeah. And for the first time in my life, 20 years, I had been struggling with pornography, sexual addiction, and acting out in our marriage. And for the first time in my life, I was honest.   I had lied for years, both with Joanna and everyone else. And the kind of floodgates just kind of opened up. And I finally said yes.   And it was really hearing the story, I think, is what did it for me. I think it was knowing that somebody else had made it, that their life hadn't come crashing down because that was the greatest fear for me. That the moment anyone found this out, everything in my life would be over. Everything that I loved would be gone.   And so, this kind of story of hope gave me a little bit of courage that day, to be honest. But that started a really long journey for us because there was a lot of damage that was done in both of my hiding. And now kind of this revelation, all the pain kind of came crashing down on Joanna and kind of her shoulders.   And so, we started a quite intensive recovery process. We talked about it being kind of a full-time job. I went to recovery for my addiction and for kind of my acting out behaviors. Joanna had to begin a process of healing from the trauma of this discovery. And that process took us a number of years. It really was a long kind of arduous journey, but one that we ultimately survived and now thrive in our marriage and get the incredible luxury and the kind of gift of helping other couples do that.   So, that's kind of where we find ourselves.   Laura Dugger: (8:04 - 8:30) That is incredible. I just really appreciate you sharing your story. Clearly, stories are so powerful and that's what led to some healing for you and hopefully can open the floodgates for somebody else listening.   So, if we go back in your story, then, Joanna, I'd love to start with you. What were some of those red flags in early marriage that things aren't quite as they seem?   Joanna Raabsmith: (8:31 - 10:28) Yeah, there are a few. You know, I think that, you know, one of the pieces we kind of talked about, like, OK, we knew we're still getting stuck because there's 90 percent that felt really good. But then 10 percent that was extremely chaotic, really destructive.   Right. We would get we call the pain cycles when we get emotionally dysregulated. And there would be some things that, right.   Sometimes we would get into pain cycles, get dysregulated. And I kind of understand why. Right.   Like something happened. There was the disagreement. But other times I couldn't put my finger on it.   Right. Matthew would just get really angry and really shut down. And I wouldn't be able to connect it to anything that had happened in our life.   And so, it was very confusing. It was really hard to understand what was going on. And I think kind of in the same way, when I would pull too close into that connection, that intimacy, he would pull back.   Right. And it felt like even though we both named this goal and this desire, he would never actually partner with me in it. And so, again, that was really confusing because the actions were not matching up with reality and what was happening.   And I think the other piece that was kind of true for us and true for a lot of other people is that our own sexual relationship was fraught with pain. And so, there was, again, a lot that was really good, but also a lot that was really painful and confusing. And some of the pieces just didn't connect.   Right. And I would wonder, OK, what's going on? Well, I guess this is just the reality that like this is how much we get to expect in this area of our life, right.   In our relationship. And so, it was when the pastor started describing his life and addiction and what that looked like emotionally, sexually, relationally. I was like, oh, those are all the things that I'm currently experiencing.   Here's one thing that would answer all those questions that I have. And so, I think that was part of it. He kind of told me, like, OK, this is it.   Laura Dugger: (10:28 - 11:00) That would be so eye opening. And my heart's going out to the couple who is maybe starting to identify with this. Was it and share whatever you're comfortable with from your story or the person's story who opened things up to you?   So, sexually, I'm wondering if it was for you, Joanna, if you were hoping to connect sexually and that wasn't happening and that was confusing. You didn't feel pursued. But I don't want to fill in the blanks.   So, could you elaborate?   Joanna Raabsmith: (11:00 - 12:03) Absolutely. Yeah. And we find it a lot of different ways than couples that we work with.   Right. And so, it can be sometimes on either side of the extreme. And so, for us, it was where there would be kind of times when he'd be fully present and interested and engaged. Right. And then all of a sudden, kind of like I described emotionally, he would just withdraw and not be there. And I would reach out to connect.   And that was this like non-response. And which, again, didn't match up with those other times when he was engaged and wanting to connect. And he would give some sort of excuse that didn't totally make sense.   Right. But I was kind of like, what else? What was I left with except that?   So, I would kind of believe that and go with it, even though it didn't sit right. And so, yeah, I think that was part of it. We will see on the other side for some other couples.   It's the opposite. And maybe that spouse is hypersexual in the relationship. Right.   To the point where there might be pressure, even pressure to do things sexually that people aren't comfortable with. And so, yeah, it can look a lot of different ways. But that was kind of what our disconnect looked like.   Laura Dugger: (12:04 - 12:33) That's so helpful. And there's two different directions I want to go, Matthew. So, I'll set it up.   I guess I'm thinking of the guilt and shame and how those are usually so present. So, I have two questions. Were you when Joanna came to you, were you at a point where you recognize something was off and you wanted freedom from this and or had tried freedom before?   Let's start with that and then I'll go into the other one.   Matthew Raabsmith: (12:34 - 14:40) Yeah, it really was holy timing in a lot of ways. I, you know, for a lot of years I had I hated what I did. I didn't feel like I could stop it, but didn't have a lot of interest in kind of doing anything to stop it.   I kind of just like would just say, “OK, this is going to be the last time.” And then, you know, of course it would come back. But I think at this point I had really started to see the damage that was happening to our relationship.   I could feel us growing close, growing further apart. I could see kind of Joanna and the confusion that she was having. And like she couldn't understand things.   She would ask me a lot of questions that I didn't have answers to. And so, I actually a couple of months earlier, we were at a worship service, and they had said like, “hey, if you are ready to give something up, if you feel like there's something holding you back, come forward and confess it.” And Joanna and I were sitting next to each other, and I remember feeling like the Holy Spirit just like pulling me to like get up out of my seat and I wouldn't move.   I was like, no, because she's going to ask me what I went down for. I'm going there's you know, there's a random kind of prayer partner at the front. I'm like, I'm not going and confessing this to some random person.   And so, I was ready. But I think like I said, I think there was no path forward. It was kind of confess this and everything stops and ends.   But everything like marriage ends, life ends. And so, when she when she brought this, it really did feel like God had kind of been answering a prayer that I've been praying of like, if you give me a way out, I'll take it. I'm desperate.   I want it to stop. And it felt like that. I think it was both this kind of terror and this hope that day.   And even when I said, yes, it was a little bit like, what have I done? Like, could this have been different? Should I have just gone and told someone else privately?   Right. But I think ultimately that it was out between the two of us and that we kind of knew it. We knew what we were dealing with made a huge difference.   But I mean, God had been working in my life, offering opportunities for so long. I just been saying no, no, no. And then finally, you know, I think my heart just broke and it was like, yes, OK, I'm ready for this.   Laura Dugger: (14:40 - 15:14) I love how the Holy Spirit equipped you with that humility and courage to be brave in that moment. And it's such a blessing for all of us to get to see the end or I guess not the end of the story, but you at this point in your story where you're thriving. And so, I hope that offers a lot of hope to people listening.   But let's also pause. And so, going back further in time, Matthew, this was the other part of my question. What was life and attachment and your growing up journey like?   Matthew Raabsmith: (15:15 - 18:09) Yeah, I didn't know that at the time. Right. I a lot of this I figured out in the last couple of years of recovery.   You know, if you would have asked me, you know, as I was growing up about my life, I would have told you I had the perfect family. I had the perfect life. I think I did not realize that some of the things that I was going through weren't perfect, were harder.   And part of that was because I think the way my family dynamic worked was we just swept everything under the rug. You know, whatever happened, we just kind of went, OK, and moved on from. And I learned to do that as a kid.   And that meant a lot of emotional chaos. There was a lot of physical chaos and kind of volatility in our house growing up. And even though I had parents who are still married to this day, have stayed together and have tried to create kind of a stable life.   There was a lot of emotional and kind of relational instability. We moved around a lot. And then once we started moving, I found myself more and more kind of isolated at school. I started dealing with bullying and some things that really kind of left me not knowing how to deal with the pain that I was going through. And so, my way of stuffing things under the rug was getting, you know, escaping, you know, kind of escaping into anything that I could. I watched a lot of TV.   I was a latchkey kid, so I would come home. I'd watch TV a lot in the afternoon and then TV kind of just turned to more and more. And I was exposed pretty young to pornography, actually at a church camp.   I was at a summer church camp. Someone brought a Playboy magazine, and I was exposed to pornography. And I kind of felt that high, that rush.   And that just became kind of a mode of my escape. Right. Of whatever I could do to engage sexually, whether with my mind or with others.   That's how I could get out of the pain I was in. That's how I could stop feeling kind of the chaos that I was having and not realizing that it was becoming this kind of adaptive habit, that it would just be this thing I would go back to more and more. And I grew up at a time that technology was still emerging.   So, I can remember when we got our first computer and no one was talking about safeguards or anything. And so, it was just kind of exposure. Here you go.   Here's everything you could ever want and don't need. And that really became my life. And the more and more that I did, the better and better I got at lying and hiding and even being kind of vulnerable in kind of fake ways.   I would mention things like, yeah, we all have this struggle. And even Joanna, I had told like, you know, that was a struggle of mine in the past, but I've moved on from it. Right.   I told myself and other people just kind of lie after lie after lie so that I could have really this double life. I could appear one way and then I could be acting a completely different way, kind of in the dark.   Laura Dugger: (18:10 - 20:41) Yeah. And that makes sense. I'm thinking back to two episodes.   We did one with a male, Sam Black from Covenant Eyes, and he speaks so much of the origins of pornography and that foothold that Satan gets. And so many times it is in childhood, unwittingly you're exposed and then what it can turn into. And then Crystal Renaud Day came on to share a lot of females struggle with this as well.   And so, I'll link to those if those are a help.   And now a brief message from our sponsor. 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And in Morton, they offer a variety of apartment homes with garages, a hot downtown location and now a brand-new high-end complex near Idlewood Park. If you want to become part of their team, contact them about open office positions.   They're also hiring in their maintenance department. So, we invite you to find out why so many people have chosen to make a career with them. Check them out on Facebook today or email their friendly staff at Leasing@LemanProps.com.   You can also stop by their website at lemanproperties.com. Check them out and find your place to call home today.   So, at that moment when you've confessed, Matthew, the floodgates open for you and Joanna.   What did life look like for both of you next and even individually your journeys?   Matthew Raabsmith: (20:42 - 22:30) Yeah, it was separate. We did not separate, but we were really focused on our two different journeys because they were so different. For me, I had to figure out what had really gone on in my life and what was really happening.   Because, like I said, I had become such an expert at hiding from myself and others that I didn't really know how to live any other way. And so, I, you know, Joanna kind of handed me a list of everything this pastor had done. She was like, here you go.   Right. She kind of handed me that list and was like, good luck. And so, I dove in.   I went to a men's intensive. And I think that was probably one of the key places for me to tell my story for the first time. I really took a look at my life and had some people help me take a look and recognize the trauma that I had as a kid exposure that I had experienced and what that really meant to me and helped me understand what I was doing.   But also, kind of what I was doing to myself, how I was really kind of killing myself from the inside out and preventing myself from having the kind of relationship I wanted with God and other people. And so, that discovery was in really ways kind of invigorating for me. I felt like I was living for the first time.   I think I had started to kind of get out of this kind of burden, this fear of always being caught. I told Joanna kind of the history of everything that had happened in my life and our relationship. And so, I was feeling this kind of renewed sense of like energy and excitement of like, this is good.   I want this life. I want the life there that I'm not in constant kind of fear and in constant kind of connection to this thing I hate. And so, which is really different than what Joanna was experiencing.   Joanna Raabsmith: (22:30 - 25:07) Yeah. So, for me, it was very jarring in the beginning. Everything I thought was real came crashing down around me.   And that was especially jarring because I had left kind of the direction, the path that I was on. Right. We talked about our story earlier.   It included two months of dating, two months of engagement before we got married. And that also included me dropping out of law school, getting married and moving to California to pursue a ministry degree so we could work as pastors together or do something together. And so, in that moment, all of that came crashing down.   And I kind of was very lost, not just in our relationship, but in kind of what in the world am I even doing here? What am I going to do moving forward if he doesn't choose recovery? Right.   And so, just all of those question marks, all in that one moment of him answering that question affirmative. And so, so there was like that heaviness on one side and then on the other side was this relief of finally everything I've been experiencing makes sense. Right. Finally, I feel like I actually know what's going on. And because of that, there could maybe be a path forward for us as well. So, is this very, very weird dichotomy in that moment? And so, but I think I knew right away, like, I can't be vulnerable. I can't be intimate with him anymore. Right.   I have to step back in our relationship and wait and see what he chooses to do. Is he going to choose to do the work of recovery and get healthy and start to be honest and safe or not? And so, that's so we kind of did kind of there's some space for a very long period of time while we focused on our own individual recoveries.   And that, again, was a little bumpy for me. This is over a decade ago. And so, there is very little information about what partners experience.   We call it betrayal trauma, and that just wasn't a very common word at the time. And so, some of the resources I plugged into came from a more we would call it codependent, co-addict focus, which just really didn't fit. So, I struggled to find resources that felt like they fit for my journey.   But once I did, it all again, my own healing process started to make sense. And it was so like freeing and liberating to understand. Like, oh, OK, this is what I'm going through. This is why I feel this way.   This is what it looks like to heal and move forward. And so, kind of beginning that process was so important because then when Matthew was kind of in a healthy, safe place, I was as well, and we can start to step in towards each other on that kind of more couples' journey at that point.   Laura Dugger: (25:07 - 25:17) I love how you did that wisely, though, separate first, not rushing into couples at that time. Absolutely.   Matthew Raabsmith: (25:18 - 26:33) Appreciate you calling it wise. I think we were terrified. Yeah, we'll take God's help.   I think he was like, you guys just work on your own stuff for a while. And in some ways, like I said, it was we didn't know what we were doing. But I think we knew we wanted there to be a future between the two of us.   But we knew it had to be completely different in some ways than what we had before, which was scary because we liked what we had before. Like we had a really great marriage in many ways. Right.   There was this portion of it, this hidden portion that was really infecting and killing it all. But what we did have together, we didn't want to totally lose. It just was really hard to know, especially early on, what's going to come forward.   Like, who are we still going to be as we go forward? Are we still going to be a couple who does things together? Right. Who works together? Or is that all kind of going to have to be different? Is that the only way that we have kind of moving forward?   And so, that was that was probably the hardest part was having like this sense of like not wanting to lose us. We were like, if we lost that, that was going to be miserable. And I think a lot of our work was about how do we eventually reclaim this marriage that we want, that we love?   Laura Dugger: (26:34 - 27:04) Yes, because from what I'm sensing, you're friends with each other, you're on purpose or on mission with God. He did a course correction change, putting you on this path to help couples. But your desire to work together, it's like He still honored that in the ministry of reconciliation.   And I'm assuming abundantly blessed it beyond what you could ever dreamed up what we're doing now.   Joanna Raabsmith: (27:04 - 27:42) Right. It's been amazing to see what God has done, how he's used our story, which is so fitting because it was someone sharing their story that brought our healing. And I think because of that and it wasn't right away; it took some time to get to the place where we felt open to God using our story to bring healing to others. But we found as we stepped into that, that we have received such a blessing.   Right. And just being able to sit with other couples in that journey and see them go from that place of pain and confusion to this place of restoration and thriving. Like there is no better work that we could have imagined for ourselves.   Laura Dugger: (27:42 - 28:09) Love that. And really, you did have to pioneer a path. There weren't many resources at that time.   So, that's another reason I'm grateful you can share your story, because I hope it unlocks freedom for others. So, if we're turning more outward now and you're helping as you work with couples, how do you help them identify the difference between sexual struggles and sexual addiction?   Matthew Raabsmith: (28:10 - 30:15) Yeah, that's a great question. And I think that it really kind of exists on a spectrum. And so, everything kind of exists under what we call problematic sexual behavior or unwanted sexual behavior.   Whenever someone is acting in a way sexually that doesn't align with their values. And then the question is, is how often, how compulsive, right? How habituated, right?   How really embedded is that practice? Because the more and more embedded it is and the more and more that I continue to act on that, seeing the damage that it's doing, that's really what qualifies as the addiction. The addiction is when I know that this is causing harm and I and I feel that even though I want to stop it and I've tried to stop.   Right. I can't stop the 12 steps has a great line. They say addicts, you know, addicts have no problem stopping.   It's staying stopped. That's hard for an addict. Right.   And so, that's usually a sign that there's an addiction. And really what that means is that just means that I'm going to have to be even more kind of thorough and scrupulous in my willingness to change a lot. Because if I have built an addictive lifestyle, that means everything I do kind of functions to support that lifestyle.   Right. And so, my part of that was this hiding. I lied about everything.   I would lie about anything just to make sure that I was in control of the narrative. And so, for me, it was recognizing that if I was going to move forward free of my addiction, then it had to begin with honesty, with this kind of radical honesty and transparency and growing in that consistently, because that was the way that I manifested this addiction and kind of kept it going. And so, that's really what the addiction is about, is recognizing what are the kind of pieces in my life that are supporting this addiction to continue to exist?   And how is God going to dismantle those things? Right. And how am I going to be a part of that dismantling?   Laura Dugger: (30:16 - 30:33) That's well said. And also, I'm curious, are there any common life circumstances, whether that's nature or nurture, that are more likely to predispose someone to more likely have this struggle with sexual addiction?   Matthew Raabsmith: (30:34 - 32:30) I mean, there are, I think, you know, the things that we tend to look for are trauma and trauma comes in so many different forms. So, trauma is more it's rare that it's a single event. It's often more a kind of consistent occurrences.   As I mentioned, you know, I can't speak to kind of one event in my life that I say this was the traumatic moment in which everything changed. But it was more of the chaos. And so, I grew up in a family that could be really, really, really loving and incredibly encouraging and fun and silly and in a heartbeat switch into one that was verbally and physically just chaotic and terrifying.   And it was that chaos that kept me on edge. What it did was it created in me kind of a system of always wanting to be on high alert. And that would exhaust me.   That would kind of wear me out. And I would want to kind of numb that kind of feeling away. And so, I think those traumas, I do think early exposure.   Right. I mean, I was exposed early before my brain was ready to really understand what it was dealing with. And I think the third component that we often see is a low level or a kind of really a void of sexual education.   There was I'm sure I had a small talk with my dad at some point, but we were not talking about pornography. We weren't talking about bodies. We weren't talking about sex from a kind of healthy, good way.   I grew up in the church, and it was kind of don't do this until you're married and then you'll be fine. Right. That was the sexual education message.   And so, those things, right, trauma, exposure and lack of kind of education usually forms in someone a difficulty of knowing what they're doing, knowing that it's destroying them before it's really kind of gotten a deep hole.   Joanna Raabsmith: (32:30 - 33:20) I think like the brain. The brain aspect to when we talk about addiction, there are usually chemicals involved in addiction being formed, being created. And so, I think also co-occurring disorders, right, that emotional pain, also things like anxiety, depression, ADHD, where my brain really likes the dopamine it gets from sexual acting out. Right.   And you can actually need it to feel OK. That can also be a factor in kind of especially that addictive side of these behaviors. When my brain gets really attached to that dopamine release that it's getting because maybe I have some other things going on or I just have emotional pain.   I don't know what to deal with, how to handle it, how to regulate that in a healthy way.   Laura Dugger: (33:20 - 34:30) There's so many good points there. I'll just highlight one because there's a profound piece that you were talking about with early exposure to evil and the corruption of it is extremely harmful. And yet not being exposed to God's good design for sex and hopefully being coached by our parents, that is both of those play a part in the addiction. And so, I'm thinking even as we shift to think about parents, I know I've had parents come to me and just say, I don't want to talk about this with my kids.   I don't want to rob their innocence. And my approach is if God made it, this is good. We can talk to them.   You're not robbing their innocence when you're sharing the good age-appropriate parts of sex. And it's so great to be that first one to share with them. And I think it does the opposite of what we would expect.   We're afraid that that might make them hyper sexualized. But would you speak to that? Any encouragement for parents?   Matthew Raabsmith: (34:30 - 36:37) Yeah, it's tricky. I mean, even as parents, we've got kids and its still kind of navigating it. But I do think what it does is it lets someone learn the things they need to in the timeline they need to.   I think part of one of the things is that, you know, really good sexual education starts young. I mean, they start six and seven years old or even younger, just talking about our bodies. Right.   Because I think that's part of it. Really, this is about understanding the goodness of our bodies. This body was created by God, the maker of heaven and earth, and he called it good.   And so, I think part of a good sexual education begins with that. And then, what's really nice is once you've started the conversation, that means if your children are exposed or if they're presented with things that don't line up with what they've been hearing, they now feel safe to come and talk about that. Because that's really what this was about.   I didn't feel safe to talk about what I was exposed to, what people were doing. Right. And what people were encouraging me to engage in.   And so, you know, my parents would ask me how it's going. I would not tell them anything because it wasn't a conversation that they were having with me. And so, I didn't think it was a conversation I was going to have with them.   And so, that meant that as I found myself further and further away from my values, I felt like, who am I going to share this with? And so, part of having the conversation is it normalizes with our kids that this is OK to talk about, which is actually what adults need. I mean, part of our work with couples as adults, we have to get them talking about sex and body parts.   I mean, it's amazing to have 30, 40, and 50-year-olds in our offices and in our sessions. And they're so uncomfortable. Right.   They don't want to talk about sex. They don't want to talk about their bodies. They don't want to talk about what their bodies do.   Right. And we keep being like, this is God's good stuff. Right.   There is goodness here. But you have to begin by talking about it. Right.   Having these conversations.   Joanna Raabsmith: (36:38 - 37:54) I tell all the parents I work with, your kids are going to pick up a narrative about what sex is and what sexuality is, whether you want them to or not. And so, would you rather be the first person to step in and give them a healthy view, a healthy narrative to understand? Right.   And this is beyond kind of the nuts and bolts that everything our kids are learning. They're trying to find a deeper meaning. They don't think it's unconscious when they're young. Right. But they're taking it and they're going, what meaning does this have for me? How does this inform my self-worth, my view of my own value as a human in my body?   And how does it inform my experience of the world and my safety in the world? And am I empowered to make decisions? Am I connected?   Do I belong? Right. All of those questions are asking.   And so, as they're confronted with issues of sexuality, it's going to inform those things. And the world will not give them a healthy narrative about it. Right.   And so, being able as a parent to step in and give them that healthy meaning, that narrative, that understanding of their worth and their safety as they're piecing together kind of sexuality, again, at that age-appropriate level is so important.   Laura Dugger: (37:54 - 38:30) Guess what? We are no longer an audio only podcast. We now have video included as well.   If you want to view the conversation each week, make sure you watch our videos. We're on YouTube and you can access videos or find answers to any of your other questions about the podcast when you visit thesavvysauce.com. And I love that you're talking about this with couples you work with.   So, will you give us an overview of the intimacy pyramid that you actually wrote a book about and you teach to couples?   Joanna Raabsmith: (38:30 - 38:31) Absolutely.   Matthew Raabsmith: (38:31 - 39:15) Yeah. I mean, it was born out of our journey because, as you said, we wandered for a while and we felt a little bit like Israel, just kind of, you know, knowing that the Promised Land was out there, but never really feeling like we could find it. And when we started to piece together, I think the kind of relationship that we had dreamed of reclaiming, we really ask ourselves, how can we make this a more direct, a simpler process, not just for couples who went through what we went through, but really for any couple who's hungry for this, for the couple like us when we were first starting.   It really wants an amazing marriage. And so, we really focused on a kind of simplistic idea of what are the core kind of foundational levels of building really healthy intimacy.   Joanna Raabsmith: (39:16 - 40:10) Yeah. So, the intimacy pyramid, it's actually a triangle. There's a visual that goes along with it.   So, if you imagine the different levels of the triangle, very similar to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, starting at the bottom, you have to start with honesty. And so, we definitely experienced that reality in our own relationship. Right.   This is something we learned from Couples in Betrayal, but like Matthew said, we realized this is where every couple starts. Am I willing to be fully open, fully honest and transparent in this relationship? Am I being my authentic self?   Right. And after that level of honesty, that's when we start to build safety. And that has to do with our ability to communicate in really healthy, constructive ways.   Even when it's hard, even when we're disagreeing, even when we feel like yelling at each other. Are we able to show up with that belief that we both have the same goal? We're trying to build something together.   Matthew Raabsmith: (40:10 - 41:57) And with honesty and safety, that's where we get to work on trust as a couple. That's that next level. And trust is where we start to be more partners, where we're really starting to kind of lean in, work together, kind of be courageous and saying, “Hey, this isn't just my life anymore, right?”   This is our life together. And as that trust is established, this is what allows for the incredible work of vulnerability. And there's been all these studies about vulnerability over the last few years and how important it is.   What we recognize, though, is vulnerability on top of nothing is actually really risky and kind of even dangerous. It's vulnerability that's built on healthy trust where we step in and we do share some of those deeper pains in those wounds, those fears. We start to really heal some of those kind of early traumas that we experience.   It's in that vulnerability. That's what allows a couple to be truly intimate. And it's when they've worked through each of these levels, what we find is these couples, when they reach this kind of this intimacy level, they're passionate about who they are as a couple. They love kind of their relationship itself. They have a purpose to it. They have a sense that like our marriage, our relationship exists for a reason, but they're also really playful.   They're silly. They're really kind of comfortable in their own skin. And it's those five levels really working together that allows them to experience a relationship that gives life. I think one of the things we know is that when God creates, it gives life. And so, God created marriage not to burden us, right? Not to kind of, you know, not even just to get us through, you know, kind of surviving life, but actually to bring more life.   Right. And not just life within the relationship itself, but life outside of it.   Laura Dugger: (41:58 - 42:22) Oh, I love it. And you're also working with couples. I've heard you speak before about the working on offering your spouse the gift of self-awareness. And so, what could couples expect? How do you actually work with them to grow in self-awareness and recognize things like the emotional process they go through in marriage?   Joanna Raabsmith: (42:22 - 43:48) Absolutely. So, awareness. So, in our book, we obviously detail the intimacy period much more.   And that's Building True Intimacy is the name of the book. But each of those levels we just walked through have different components that go into that. And awareness is kind of like one of the most important components of that honesty foundation.   So, we have to start with awareness and we can't really build anything if there's a lack of self-awareness. And so, when we work with couples, one of the first places we start is we kind of look at the past. Are they aware of what they've been through, what those experiences are, and how those experiences have shaped them into the person that is now in the present, showing up with their spouse.   Right. And so, once I start to have that insight from my past, from those experiences, how they shape me, I can better understand my present. What are the things that I feel and why do I feel those things in particular?   Right. And then when I feel those things in a relationship, and these are typically those kind of heavier, more challenging, more painful emotions. How do I respond?   How am I showing up? Because the reality is that all of us cope with emotional pain the same way we cope with physical pain. We go into fight or flight.   That part of our brain gets triggered and we respond with these kind of destructive relational coping behaviors that then hurt my partner.   Matthew Raabsmith: (43:48 - 46:22) Yeah. Like, for example, I told you about that chaos I experienced as a kid. And so, those would always happen around conflicts.   My parents would disagree about something. There would be some type of argument about, you know, and it could be anything where we were going for dinner or what color the curtains were. Right.   But it would create this chaotic environment. So, as I got married, the thing that I didn't like the least was any type of conflict. Joanna and I would get in when I could sense us disagreeing and we are both passionate.   We have opinions and we believe things and we get into this kind of disagreement and argument. It would freak my system out. And I didn't realize that because I didn't really know my past.   I didn't know what was going on. I would just really do anything to shut it down. I get angry and I try to get loud, or I just walk away in the middle of a conversation.   As Joanna was talking, I would just leave the room and my acting out was just a further manifestation of that kind of leaving the relationship. And so, part of my healing journey was to learn about my story and recognize, oh, OK, I can see what's happening. And what's really interesting is it still happens in our life today.   I've been in recovery for 12 years. I still feel the same things. Now it's more like when my kids are getting involved.   Right. And there's energy in the room and people are online. And then I go, oh, yeah, there it is.   There's my system again. It's starting to feel unsafe. It's starting to feel alone. And I know what it wants to do. It wants to get angry, or it wants to just shut down and walk away. And what's incredible is that we've learned the ability to see where we're at but also speak directly to that.   And so, what I get to do for myself now is I get to go, “OK, I know I'm feeling unsafe and I know I'm feeling alone. And I know I want to get angry to solve it, but it won't do it. But here's the truth. The truth is that I'm safe in God's economy. I'm empowered. I have an incredible partner in my life. I've never been alone. I've always had someone there for me. And Joanna is the perfect example of that.”   And that totally changes my sense of really kind of where I am. And it changes how I show up. I tend to be much more calm.   I ask questions rather than make demands. And it's that ability to kind of see where we're at and shift. That's just been such a game changer for our family and just for our own relationship.   We still have to work on it. You know, it doesn't always look that pretty. Right.   But when we do, it's amazing how different it goes.   Laura Dugger: (46:24 - 46:44) And then I just think of the generational impacts that has when people are willing to do the work. And so, if there's a brave couple out there who wants to seek their own help and healing, can you share where they can go for help, including the Raabsmith team and all that you have to offer?   Matthew Raabsmith: (46:46 - 47:30) Yeah, you know, we would love them to connect with us because I think one of the things we recognize was having guides along the way. I mean, we had to figure a lot out ourselves, but we also had some really incredible guides, some mentors, some coaches, some therapists. And so, we always just say, hey, connect with us.   You can find us at raabsmithteam.com. We have a heart for couples who want restoration and reconciliation because that's what we're getting to live and experience. And what's cool is our whole team, they're couples who've been through this work, but who also have been professionally trained to help other couples to just continue to guide and to grow relationships so that they're thriving and they're kind of giving that life.   Joanna Raabsmith: (47:30 - 48:10) Absolutely. We also love to give out resources. And so, we have the kind of we call it the honest connection.   And so, again, if you're starting this journey or even this is for any couple who wants deeper connection, deeper intimacy, learning how to do that on a daily basis in small ways is so important. And so, we have a worksheet that couples can take and use. We're happy to provide that for them for free and kind of try this for 30 days and notice the changes that you experience in your relationship.   And so, that's a great starting point wherever you are in relationship to begin that journey of connection.   Matthew Raabsmith: (48:10 - 48:14) And you just go to raabsmithteam.com/free and that resource is all yours.   Laura Dugger: (48:15 - 48:26) Wonderful. Add links for that in the show notes for today's episode. And is this then for any couple worldwide, nationwide?   Can you work with people?   Matthew Raabsmith: (48:27 - 48:55) We have we've got couples across the world, which is really fun. It's been really neat just to see the way that God has used our work. One of the things when we first started this journey, we started getting couples calling us saying, “Hey, I don't have anybody in my area that specializes in this, that understands this journey. Can I work with you?” And so, we kind of felt a calling to say we want to make sure that we connect with people wherever they are. And so, absolutely.   If you can hear our voice, you can work with us.   Laura Dugger: (48:55 - 49:14) I love that. And just as a little bonus practical tip, you kind of mentioned being proactive to thriving in marriage. Is there any encouragement that you could share or a specific practical tip that anybody could start to incorporate if they want to take their marriage to that thriving level?   Matthew Raabsmith: (49:15 - 50:12) Yeah, I think just the ability to slow down. We have a  nine, seven and six-year-old. We own our own business, and we like life and life can get incredibly fast.   And I think what we have found is when, as I was mentioning, when I learned the ability just to slow down, even if I don't fully just know myself slowing down and checking in, just where am I at right now? Where's my heart? Right. Where do I want to be?   I think I realize that so often my values and my actions aren't aligned when I'm moving too quickly. I'm not being the person that I want to be. And we see that in so many couples. We meet so many couples and there are two really great people who have a hard time working together. They have a hard time kind of being a team.   And it's usually because they're working so fast. They don't realize they're kind of working against each other. So, slowing down, I think, is such a big thing.   Joanna Raabsmith: (50:12 - 51:18) Another piece that's, again, really easy to start right away. A lot of couples we work with, and I think probably even us when we start a relationship, was there were two individuals in a relationship, and it was kind of either me or you. And starting to understand there's this third thing between you, the relationship. There's a third almost entity that really needs care. It needs nurture. It needs you to focus on its needs from time to time.   And so, beginning to approach the day, even approach conversations with this question of like, what does our relationship need right now? And even as you're trying to make decisions, what is the way we can decide this in a way that's good for our relationship or what decision benefits our relationship rather than does it benefit you or me? Because when you get into that struggle, it can become a competition.   It can become transactional really quickly. So, starting to ask that question, starting to talk about the needs and caring for the relationship very intentionally can be a way to shift that.   Laura Dugger: (51:20 - 51:38) Thank you for sharing that. I think that leads into my last question, because you already know we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for both of you, Matthew and Joanna, what is your savvy sauce?   Matthew Raabsmith: (51:39 - 52:22) I kind of mentioned this, but I think it's the willingness to be honest. I was so willing to lie to myself and kind of really hide from other people. And I didn't even know that I was doing it.   But as I have learned to be more honest in really kind of healthy ways, right. You can dump, you can whine, you can complain, you can get angry. But truly being honest meant just looking at what I was feeling and trying to kind of figure that out and name that.   As I have learned that ability to be honest with myself and with others, it has just opened up a new world of possibilities. And it has shown me how many people care for me; how much God cares for me. So, I think that honesty is something I just want to practice more and more every day.   Joanna Raabsmith: (52:22 - 53:30) I think for me, just in my own journey and working with so many partners, that importance of being able to make empowered decisions in my life. Right. That I am really intentionally choosing the direction I'm going in life.   Realizing that instead of going into this more helpless, powerless victim stance is such a difference. And really the only thing that changes a lot of times is mindset. You don't have to overhaul your entire life.   Right. You have to add in like four hours of self-care and all of these things. But starting to shift that mindset into, wait, I have power in the decisions I make.   And one of the ways that's really important to do that is growing that self-awareness. I cannot make empowered decisions if I'm not aware of where I'm at emotionally, physically, spiritually. Right.   If I'm not aware of my needs on a regular basis. And so, slowing down to check those things in, sometimes even multiple times in the day if you're not used to that. So, you're more connected to yourself, to what you need, what you want.   So, you can start making those empowered decisions.   Laura Dugger: (53:32 - 54:00) I love that. It's just so enjoyable to host a very lively couple who's humble and you've done your work. And then you're willing to share all this overflow of goodness with all of us.   So, I think my prayer is that the Lord would richly bless you for this open-handed generosity of wisdom and your story and experience that you've shared with us and modeled for us today. So, thank you to both of you for being my guest.   Joanna Raabsmith: (54:00 - 54:03) Thank you so much. It's a joy being here.   Laura Dugger: (54:05 - 57:47) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

Redemption Church Peoria
Isaiah 9:2–7 / Luke 1:26–38 | Advent: The Arrival of Christ for an Anxious World

Redemption Church Peoria

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 1, 2025 37:10


Sermon Series | Advent: The Arrival of Christ for an Anxious WorldTo give to our M25 Initiative, text m25 to 623.252.5085 or visit redaz.in/m25.To download our Mobile App, search Redemption Church Peoria where you download apps to your device(s).To connect with us, visit this link:  http://redaz.in/RPTo invest in our ministry financially, visit this link: https://bit.ly/3roZDAW

The Savvy Sauce
Special_Patreon_Release_Janelle Rupp Conversations with your Teen About Sex Puberty and Identity

The Savvy Sauce

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 24, 2025 69:26


Special Patreon Release: Janelle Rupp Conversations with your Teen About Sex Puberty and Identity   *DISCLAIMER* This episode contains adult themes and is not intended for little ears.   "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm." Proverbs 13:20 (NIV)   *Transcript Below*   Questions We Discuss: Perhaps one of the most asked questions by Christian singles is, "How far is too far?" How do you respond to that question? Knowing the importance of educating ourselves as adults, what is the most popular sexual behavior among teens? What are some wise and age-appropriate guidelines recommend for teaching our kids about sex and sexuality?   Janelle Rupp is a Christ-follower, wife & mom of three (in that order).  Upon graduating from Cedarville University with a Bachelor's of Science in Nursing and a Minor in Biblical Studies, she worked nine years as a Pediatric ICU nurse before transitioning into nine years of nursing education for the Empower Life Center of Peoria, Illinois. There she specialized in Sexual Health with an emphasis on Sexual-Risk Avoidance. After moving to the Atlanta, Georgia area, Janelle developed a Biblically-based, Christian & Home school curriculum entitled “Remember Whose You Are: Rooting Human Sexuality in Gospel Identity." Using an expositional study of Genesis 1-3 alongside evidence-based scientific research, the four-unit program builds on itself to establish how gospel identity determines holy & healthy & holy sexuality. With a passion for both science & Scripture, Janelle is currently teaching the curriculum at North Cobb Christian School while watching the Lord grow the program at schools nation-wide.  She can be reached at jrupp.rememberwhoseyouare@gmail.com.   Recommended website for Parents: axis.org   Thank you to our sponsor: Daisy Kings Use code SAVVY to Save!   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook, Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”   Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”   Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”   Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”   John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcript*   Music: (0:00 – 0:09)   Laura Dugger: (0:09 - 1:31) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. Today's message is not intended for little ears.   We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   Thank you to Daisy King's, a skincare brand that meets simplicity. Their tallow-based products are made with wholesome, God-given ingredients to deeply nourish, restore, and protect your skin.   There are no toxins, no fillers, just pure, effective skincare. Visit DaisyKings.com to nourish, restore, and glow.   Janelle Rupp is my guest today, and she packed so much knowledge and inspiration into this time by educating us on a healthy view of sex, sharing God's holy and awe-inspiring design of our bodies, and ways that all of this points to Him.   She also is going to include meaningful conversations to have with our children throughout the years that they're in our home. Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Janelle.   Janelle Rupp: (1:32 - 1:35) Thanks so much, Laura. I'm so glad to be with you today.   Laura Dugger: (1:35 - 1:42) Will you just get us started by telling us a little bit about your faith journey and where it's brought you to today?   Janelle Rupp: (1:43 - 4:51) Sure. I was raised in a Christian home. I remember from a young age actually being struck with the realization that God loved me so much that He sent His own son for me.   But it really was probably more in my teenage years that I realized the depth of my sin, that it was great, and that Jesus was that bridge between who God was and who I was. Also, early on in my life, I knew I wanted to be a nurse, which is actually kind of interesting because there was no one in my family who was a nurse or in healthcare. But I had watched my mom care well for others in her family who had a myriad of mental and physical health problems.   So, I do think that the compassion that God put in my heart at a young age did find its place in a healthcare setting just over time and experiences I watched her. I really felt like my dream job would be to work in preventative healthcare, specifically with teenagers. And I had a heart for girls in really tough situations like teenage pregnancy.   It's a very marginalized group of humanity. And so, after college, I ended up in the pediatric intensive care unit at Riley Children's Hospital in Indianapolis for about seven years. And during that time, I met my husband.   We got married. We had our first child. And then while pregnant with our second, we decided to move closer to my extended family back in Illinois.   And a few years after I had our second child, I actually ended up landing that dream job that I felt like the Lord had laid on my heart way back in college. And so, I started the Empower Life Center in Peoria, Illinois in 2008. And I worked there for nearly 10 years as a nurse educator, teaching parenting and newborn classes.   But my primary role was a sexual risk avoidance educator, specializing in sexually transmitted disease and infections. And I would teach in public schools and private schools and charter schools. It's a junior high and high school level and also a guest lecturer at Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois.   And I always tell people that no one grows up and hopes to be a sex teacher one day. I did not envision that God would put me in that area of education, but he did. And so, after 10 years of doing that, when our family then transitioned down to Atlanta, Georgia for a job transfer for my husband, we had chosen to put our kids, now three kids at that point, in Christian education.   And within months, the middle school principal had heard about my background and approached me to create a curriculum for their fifth through eighth graders that was centered on a biblical view of sex and sexuality. So, I spent a series of months developing that curriculum. I then decided to go ahead and accept a teaching job to teach that curriculum.   And it's entitled Remember Whose You Are. And it's designed as a four unit developmentally appropriate program for Christian schools or homeschool environments. And currently we're in the beginning stages of equipping and training other schools to implement it at their school as well.   Laura Dugger: (4:52 - 5:17) Wow, that is so interesting to hear how you got interested in teaching others this healthy view of God and sex. And at the foundation of your teaching, you begin with a theology of God. So, I'd love to zero in on just one of your points that God is a relational God.   Will you elaborate on that and share how it ties into this topic we're discussing today?   Janelle Rupp: (5:18 - 7:13) For sure. One of my goals in teaching this is just to help my students see God for who he is, fall in love with who he is. And God being relational is one of the places where I always notice that beginning to take shape.   I find evidence for that in Genesis 1:26, where it says, “and God said, let us make man in our image after our likeness.” The definition of the word relational means a desire to pursue relationship or connection with another. And before we think of God pursuing relationship with us, it's actually really critical to look at that verse and note that God is already relational within himself. So, we see evidence in that verse that he's referring to himself in a plural sense.   And when we take that alongside other areas of Scripture as well, we see God existing as Trinity, Father, Son and Spirit, three in one, indicating that God does not need humanity for relationship. He only desires humanity for relationship. And one day, actually, when I was teaching that to a group of fifth grade boys last year, I said, God does not need you, but he wants you.   One of the fifth grade boys, in all complete sincerity, said, “Aww.” And it was one of the sweetest things I had ever heard because it was this very honest verbal expression of what it felt like to know that we are wanted by the God of the universe. I tell my students, “You know, someone only wants relationship with you when they love you.”   And so, while 1 John 4:8 tells us, “that God is love.” It's pretty amazing that way back in the first chapter of Genesis, as we find God creating man and creating woman, He's still incredibly loving that He even desired to create it in the first place. So, I think God being relational is such an important aspect to the who and the why of who He is.   Laura Dugger: (7:14 - 7:28) Absolutely. And I really envision this chat being a time when parents can listen alongside their teen or their tween or whenever it's age appropriate. So, will you just give us a glimpse of what you do teach in schools?   Janelle Rupp: (7:29 - 13:04) I would be happy too. The very first unit is just the who and the why of God. We focus on 10 characteristics of God, and then we transition to the who and the why of humanity.   What do all humans have in common? And we highlight eight characteristics that we all share in common. And then unit two, it's centered on the who and the why of me.   And specifically looking at Genesis 1:27, identity means that we're made in the image of God and that we are made male and female. So, Genesis 1:27 says, “So God made man in his own image, in the image of God, he made them male and female, he created them.” So, here we really want to introduce what does it mean to be made in the image of God as a social being, emotional being, a spiritual being, an intellectual being?   But also, what does it mean to be made with this physical body, male or female? And so, we introduced the reproductive system with an emphasis on puberty and human growth and development. And within that introduction, in that unit, I do something that's historically not been done in Christian settings, which is that I am teaching both the male and the female reproductive system to both genders.   And this next sentence may sound a little odd to some of your listeners. I know my students sometimes giggle when I say it, but I see the glory of God when I study the anatomy of both the male and the female reproductive systems and the intricacies of the design in order to see how they both work perfectly together. To me, it's awe-inspiring.   And so, I believe females have every right to see and begin to grasp the design of a male reproductive system. We use really basic anatomical diagrams for that. And then males equally have every right to see and begin to understand the basics of the female reproductive system using a diagram.   And my approach to that is clinical and scientific. It's definitely from an anatomy perspective. But I also make sure to take the time to point out some of, again, the beauty of the design.   For example, females, when they are born, are born with all the eggs that they will ever, ever have in their ovaries. And this design is super perfect because it means that you and I are not going to be 70 years old and find out that we're unexpectedly pregnant. Eventually, those eggs will run out about in our mid-40s.   And I always thank God for that design. It is a good design. Another one is just the female cervix.   The female cervix doesn't reach full maturity and protection until our early to mid-20s, where it then provides this wonderful protective barrier between the external and internal anatomy of the female reproductive system. When you explain things like that, I literally watch the kids have what I call light bulb moments, where they begin to see the why behind the design. And it's so important.   They've never taken the time to look at that and to hear it. In fact, I often call the reproductive system the forgotten body system. Christian kids in particular, they will get through a whole unit on the body having never talked about the reproductive system.   And if they are, then usually they're taught just about their own gender and they're missing that overarching beauty of what God designed. So, I think it's really important to highlight that reproductive system and for both genders. But in Unit 3, we move from the foundation of just gospel identity as made in His image and male and female into then specifically human sexuality.   And we use mostly Genesis 2 as we look through this about how God designed marriage and God designed sex, which is super clear in Genesis 2:24 and says, “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and take hold of his wife and they will become one flesh.” And so, God's design for marriage and sex is clear that it's between a man and a woman. And also that that man and woman should follow the order of this verse.   First, that they leave and leaving might be dating. It might be courting. It might be pursuing a relationship.   However, we set those boundaries for our kids. And then second, that they would take hold and experience the intimacy and blessing of marriage, referencing that connection that God put Adam and Eve in through marriage. And third and last in that order, but that they become one flesh, which is referencing sex.   And so, after explaining that very good design, we transition into Genesis 3. And honestly, I love how Moses starts off the chapter here, Genesis 3, by saying, “Now the serpent.” And I always tell the kids that I hear that music in my head of dun, dun, dun. Like you just know that everything is going to change.   This good design is going to change and it's not changing for the better. And so, we start then looking at all the distortions that sin has caused within the overall topic of sex. And that means not just looking at premarital sex, but also adultery, pornography, sexting, gender identity, sexual identity.   And honestly, that list just keeps on growing every year that I teach. And so, then unit four, that last unit, is what I call the now what unit. In light of taking everything that we know now about gospel identity and human sexuality, I really encourage the kids to start really thinking about how they practically should be living in relationships with someone that they're attracted to and that they want to pursue.   And we use the entire Bible to help us answer that question. We actually end that unit with the question and answer panel discussion, using questions that the students have come up with through the course of that week. And it's always a sweet time of conversation focused on, again, gospel identity and human sexuality.   Laura Dugger: (13:06 - 13:19) Oh my goodness, that is so amazing and comprehensive. If parents are listening and they're wondering just about that diagram, what age do you recommend showing something like that? How would you respond to that question?   Janelle Rupp: (13:20 - 14:08) That's an excellent question. So, we're doing that in sixth grade. You know, it always depends on what your child's exposure and experience is, what their environment is, and their curiosity.   I think each child is so different. But in general, sixth grade would be age 11, 12, I think that's 10 to 12 for sure. But even you could probably push it as you're talking about puberty, which is where we interject it, just because it gives reference to what is a period for a girl?   Or what are the changes as a male that I'm having inside my body right now? Where's that coming from? So, I think starting as young as eight or nine to 10.   No later really than 12, I think would be really, really important.   Laura Dugger: (14:09 - 14:16) Thank you. That is helpful. I'm assuming that you're everybody's favorite teacher and that this is their favorite course to take.   Janelle Rupp: (14:17 - 14:48) We have a lot of fun. And I love when the kids buy into it. You know, sometimes I'll find that kids come in and they're a little hesitant to talk about this or they feel awkward by it.   But I think, you know, coming at it from both a clinical perspective, but also a biblical perspective, doing my best to keep them at ease and have fun as we have these conversations. Eventually, they loosen up over time. And it ends up being a really sweet time to talk about stuff that really, really matters in life.   Laura Dugger: (14:48 - 15:05) It does. And you're sharing so much truth. And it is the truth that sets us free.   And I can see where that would overcome so much confusion. So, let's even get really practical. When you're teaching these young people about sex, how do you define it?   Janelle Rupp: (15:06 - 19:12) This is such a great question. No one's ever actually asked me this. And I think it's so, so important.   The CDC definition of sex, it is very complete in its definition. It does a really good job covering what I believe are really important distinctives within that definition. And so, that definition is, quote, “Sex is defined as any part of your body and or specifically your reproductive area coming into contact with another person's body and or specifically their reproductive area.”   And one of the key points that I want to point out from this definition includes this phrase, reproductive area. I find my students have no reference for that, and even adults often don't. But simply put, the reproductive area is anything on the outside of the body that covers the reproductive system organs on the inside of the body.   So, this area actually extends from the belly button down to the genitals. A lot of times we only reference those genitals, but it actually extends belly button down to the genitals. And so, again, people are often surprised by that.   But at the same time, you know, whether it's called the reproductive area or maybe a private area, people do commonly recognize the importance of keeping that area safe and private. I often stick with that phrase, reproductive area, to reference the importance of trust when it comes to keeping things safe and private as a jumping off point to just help the kids see that a person is trustworthy if they keep you safe and if they keep things private. And again, such an important thing that we need to teach our children is that if someone pushes past what feels safe for us or pushes past areas on our body that are private, our children need to know, and we need to know those are not trustworthy people.   And furthermore, we should then give our children permission to tell someone that they do trust, hopefully us, but somebody that they do trust, somebody that keeps things safe and private about any person whose words or actions don't prove trustworthy. And as a side note, giving kids appropriate anatomical names is so important for this as well. But if you aren't using those terms and they don't understand it, we're speaking a language that they can't understand and maybe aren't able to convey.   And so, I think additionally, as children get older and you continue to reference that reproductive area as an area you keep private, I think it's super important to keep going back to theology and to Scripture. And in Genesis 1 and 2, we don't see anything having to be kept private because there was nothing that needed to be private. And in fact, the end of Genesis 2 says in verse 25, “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” My students giggle when we get to that verse because that sounds so foreign to them.   But reminding them that again, God's design was so good that there was nothing to be held back. They were fully intimately known by God and fully intimately known by each other and also without sin. But then when sin enters in Genesis 3, as Eve is tempted and enticed by the serpent, Adam is tempted, and enticed by Eve.   We see in that instant that sin changes every single thing because it causes Adam and Eve to then feel ashamed before God. They want to hide from God. It causes them to feel ashamed between each other.   They want to blame each other and it causes them to lose their sense of identity and purpose. And this is what happens to us, too, when sex and sin become entwined. It causes shame.   It causes us to hide. It makes us want to blame others. It causes us to question our identity and question our purpose.   But even though sexual sin changes the heart of man, it does not change the heart of God. And so, if our heart's desire is to love God in return for the love He's shown us, then our heart's desire should be to orient our lives around His design for our lives. And I would say even especially orienting our lives around His design for marriage and sex.   Laura Dugger: (19:13 - 19:23) Perhaps one of the most asked questions by Christian Singles is, How far is too far? So, how do you respond to that question?   Janelle Rupp: (19:24 - 25:50) Yes, I mean, this is the question that inevitably somebody's going to ask in my classes every single year. And no doubt, I mean, I think everyone has asked that question at some point or another in their lives. I certainly did.   And I was told that that was the wrong question. And I want to explain why first and then tell you how I answer it. But the reason was because when we look at Scripture in terms of holiness, which is having our heart completely for God versus idolatry, which means having our heart turned to something else, we see over and over and over in Scripture that we can't serve two masters.   We can't serve both holiness and idolatry. Matthew 6:24 is a great example. It's talking about the idolatry of money.   But it does say that whenever our heart is going after two things, we will either end up being devoted to the one and hate the other or devoted to the other and thus hate the one. And so, in other words, as we apply it to this question, we actually can't just straddle the line of both holiness and idolatry. And a lot of times that's where this heart of motivation of how far is too far is like, what line is the line that I can get to and still be holy?   But we really can't try to find and live on that line, because healthy and holy sexuality and sexual immorality doesn't exist. It is one or it is the other. And so, that's an important truth of Scripture.   I'm always in complete agreement with everything that I just said. But I also recognize that the Bible is really, really clear on how to give us direction in terms of setting boundaries and learning how to escape and endure temptation rather than to be enticed by it. And so, I teach my students a method to answer this question using an acronym called GRAY, G-R-A-Y, just to help them think biblically and critically about this question.   And actually it can be applied to any what I call the gray areas of life where Scripture may not specifically be very black and white about what we can and can't do. For example, another easy gray area topic within this same kind of umbrella idea would be dating. We aren't specifically told if we're to encourage our kids towards dating or courting or maybe arrange marriages.   Right. And yet I believe that there's four specific steps that we can use to determine the heart of God for our lives when it comes to gray areas of life. And so, the G in gray stands for go to God and it refers to prayer.   James 1:5 encourages believers to ask God for wisdom. It says, “He will give it generously to anyone who asks.” And I think praying for wisdom is such a foundational place to start on any topic, but specifically this one.   And then the R in the acronym stands for read the word. I always encourage my students and I would encourage parents as well, actively study the word of God, finding verses that give direction for decision making on this question. How far is too far?   One that I think jumped out at me is First Corinthians 10:23. As it's again, speaking of idolatry of the heart and it says, “all things are lawful, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful. I can do all things, but not all things are building up. And so, let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.”   So, when you apply that verse to this question of how far is too far, you begin to see that the question isn't so much is kissing OK, is anything done with our clothes on OK? But the question is more what behavior is helpful for me as I try to honor Christ with my body? What behavior builds up my desire to honor Christ with my life and or what behavior seeks to honor the person that I'm with?   And so, again, I think reading scripture can help us be able to know how to reframe that question and create boundaries. And then the A in gray stands for ask for advice. And here I encourage teens to seek out someone who is doing relationships well.   In other words, is there a couple that they admire, someone older than them that they admire, maybe a friend or sibling or a friend of a sibling, a teacher, a parent, a youth group leader? I found in my own life that God often gives wisdom through people like that. And actually, in the last 10 years, as I've been teaching this type of material, I found that asking couples that I respect this very same question.   How did you answer? How far is too far? It brings some of the best responses and encouragement that then I can share with my students to help them learn and grow.   So, I think asking for advice is a vital part of this. And then lastly, the Y stands for yield. It is the last step.   And yet it's such an important part of answering this question. Yield just simply means to wait. And you and I both know this generation does not like to wait.   Instinct gratification is their thing. And yet teaching them that there's so much value in yielding when we don't have clear answers to critical questions like this. So, I actually love to literally walk this out in front of the classroom.   I will demonstrate how, when I yield, I hold back on decisions such as how far is too far. I am always allowing myself room to continue to walk forward as I feel more certainty over the answer or I feel more led with the wisdom that God is continuing to give. However, if I walk forward without clarity, if I'm pushing boundaries that are perhaps lawful, I can.   But they're not to my benefit, not to my partner's benefit. Then it's very realistic that I am going to push farther than I am able to handle. It's going to bring harm to the relationship that I am in.   And I can't ever go back. The truth is that the line between being enticed by sin versus escaping and enduring the temptation to turn from sin. It's a thin line.   And so, helping teenagers with these four steps, I think just think more critically about where to set those boundaries is important. And then I do usually go on to encourage students to be really specific in writing out those boundaries. I'm a big fan that writing is remembering.   It stores in our long-term memory. And then to even share those boundaries in order to have accountability with them.   Laura Dugger: (25:51 - 27:47) And now a brief message from our sponsor. I would like to specifically address the ladies. Because let's talk skin care.   As moms, as women, we spend so much time caring for everyone else. But what about us? If you're tired of dull or dry skin and products filled with chemicals and fillers, it is time for something better.   God designed our skin to thrive with real nourishing ingredients. 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But I think this is really helpful having you share statistics.   So, what are some statistics you think we need to be aware of to educate us on sexuality and youth in America right now?   Janelle Rupp: (27:49 - 29:55) Yes, you know, this is constantly changing. And so, I do look for these on the regular. And so, the ones I'm currently kind of using as I educate this year, the average age of first pornography exposure is currently 11 years old.   And 1 out of every 10 visitors to porn sites are actually under the age of 10. And 22% of those are regular visitors to those sites. It's not that they're just there once.   They're regular visitors. When you talk about that next age group, 11 to 17-year-olds, 53% of them are accessing pornography. In addition, 1 out of every 14 are receiving sexually explicit material through social media, through texting.   And 1 out of every 17 are sending it, which is an interesting thing. I always tell my students that means that as people are receiving it, they're sending it to more than one person. And so, you know, somehow we could think that it's a conversation maybe staying between two people.   And almost in every case, that is not the reality. 41% of teens are engaging in sexual behavior and oral sex and vaginal sex and anal sex and what I call outer course. Every 11 minutes, CPS finds evidence of sexual abuse claims.   And 2 out of every 3 of those are age 12 to 17 years old. And then lastly, and this is kind of newer from a research study that is an important one, but identifying as LGBTQ+, has actually risen in teens on average by 4% in the last 5 years. Girls being higher than boys.   Girls averaging about 5% increase and boys at 3%. And I think, you know, you give those 9 quick statistics, and I'll be honest, you know, even every time I have to say them, I get that sinking feeling in my stomach. It takes a lot to shock me after 10 years of working with teens on this topic.   But it never feels good to say those out loud. I think it just reflects such brokenness on behalf of our culture's view of sex and sexuality.   Laura Dugger: (29:57 - 30:09) Wow, that is sobering. And if that reality feels alarming or overwhelming to a parent listening, then how would you advise them to educate their son or daughter?   Janelle Rupp: (30:10 - 33:09) Yeah, I think the scariest thing is when we allow those feelings that we're having to really just cripple us and our ability to parent our children through them. I had a mom come up last year, and she said, I'm just really exhausted by it all. I'm tired of checking up on my kid.   And, you know, as a mom of teenagers, I hear that. I resonate with that. But I think we need to fight through those feelings and encourage each other to fight through those feelings in order to parent with intention and godliness when it comes to these subjects.   I developed this Remember Who's You Are curriculum for students, but I 100% believe that parents are to be the first go-to for our kids on these topics, whether they feel like they have all the answers or not. It's really not the role of the school, nor of the church, nor of the youth pastor. It is primarily and foundationally the role of parents, with ideally then the school and the church, you know, locking arms with parents, coming alongside with a similar message.   And so, when it comes to equipping parents, which is something I feel strongly about as well, in order to have these ongoing conversations, I break down educating parents with three regular statements to help them kind of combat those feelings of overwhelmed or anxiousness when it comes to these topics. And the first regular statement would be to regularly educate yourself. We can't teach what we don't know.   And so, parents need to have answers to questions, and I'm going to give a series of questions here that I think need to be answered as examples, but there's certainly more. But questions like, what is God's design? Again, what is the reproductive area?   What does sexting mean? What does sending nudes mean? Because that's becoming actually a more popular phrase right now than using the phrase sexting.   Why is not porn good for our brains if it actually keeps us from not having sex outside of God's design? That's a question I've been asked. And a follow-up to that, what does the Bible say about masturbation?   How does a condom work? I've been asked that one. What is the most popular sexual behavior among teens?   Those are some toughies. You don't just kind of like pop out an answer to that without dedicating some time to researching those answers. I don't think that this needs to be an overwhelming amount of time.   In fact, I actually just encourage parents to set aside 15 to 20 minutes once a week, maybe even once every other week, but just put it on the calendar so that you really devote yourself to that time. You know, I think we dedicate ourselves as parents to things we care about. And I don't mean to say this harshly, but many moms spend much more time exercising than they do in their Bibles and figuring out answers to these questions and apologetic type answers.   And parents, you know, we spend a lot of time talking to our kids about sports and grades. And yet these are topics that have lasting relational impacts for their lives, not just in our family, but in their family to come. And so, we have to be diligent to set aside time and regularly educate ourselves.   Laura Dugger: (33:09 - 33:38) Janelle, I love all of this that you're saying. And I just want to pause on this first step of educating ourselves as the adults and as the parents. So, listening to something like this, hopefully people feel encouraged already doing a great job educating yourself.   And so, let's just answer a couple of those questions because it can be hard to know where do I go to find out these answers. I'm careful to Google this because something may pop up that I don't want to see.   Janelle Rupp: (33:38 - 33:38) Right.   Laura Dugger: (33:38 - 33:46) So, let's go with two of them. One of them you said is what is the most popular sexual behavior among teens right now?   Janelle Rupp: (33:47 - 34:46) Yeah, I think that this one is a little bit shocking for parents. And they often are unaware of where their teens are at as they are pushing boundaries on sexual behavior. You know, when I was growing up, oral sex became, and that's mouth to genitals, but that became a really popular sexual behavior.   And I remember hearing people say, well, that makes me feel a virgin because I now have not had vaginal sex. And so, again, just continuing to push these boundaries. So, now today's teenagers are past oral sex.   That's become just something that's normal and acceptable. And the most popular sexual behavior right now that you'll actually they will talk about and do would be anal sex right now, which is the anal area, which is obviously I always point this out, not actually the reproductive system, but in fact, the expiratory or the end of the digestive system. But that is the most popular sexual behavior among teens currently.   Laura Dugger: (34:47 - 35:14) That is really helpful to hear. And even years ago, when I was practicing as a marriage and family therapist, something that we learned was that the rise in pornography exposure was also corresponding or correlating with this rise in pressure for women to engage in anal sex. And that was a lot of times where it was coming from.   I'm assuming very similar with teens.   Janelle Rupp: (35:15 - 35:59) Yes, absolutely. And as our culture continues to kind of push the envelope on trying to get teenagers and adults to accept pornography is a natural part of human sexuality. I think we will just continue to see that behavior pushed more and more and more just among teens and relationships in general, which is really devastating.   I think of so many of these behaviors that are very degrading, particularly to women, but even to men. And again, that women, that girls would be thinking that that is considered an acceptable part of a relationship is such a tragedy, really. And again, just so reflective of the brokenness of our culture.   Laura Dugger: (36:00 - 36:19) And you bring up another question I want to follow up with, Ben, because porn is so destructive for a lifetime. But how do you answer that question if parents want to educate themselves of somebody making an argument of why not pornography if it keeps them from engaging in penetrative sex?   Janelle Rupp: (36:20 - 38:18) Yeah, so, there's some excellent websites that you can find that talk about the damaging effects of pornography. And I found, you know, good resources. Anyone's welcome to email me.   I'll include that later. But to get some of those resources. But it really does change and alter, actually, the connections that are created in the brain.   And one of the, I think, more interesting studies on pornography in the brain, as they looked at men who were watching and engaging in pornography, it would continually light up an area of the brain and stimulate it, which is an area of the brain that is usually lit and stimulated when a man would use power tools. And that's concerning on, I think, a couple of levels. One, that is degrading.   And again, this human made in the image of God to something that is to be just used. Right. And then second, anytime we engage in pornography, we are we're engaging more with a screen than a person.   And so, that intimacy level, that is something that's so precious about sex. You know, sex isn't just for making babies. It isn't just for this intimate connection.   It isn't just for pleasure. But it is to be wholly represented, all three of those when we look at God's design. But when we engage with pornography, we're completely reducing it down to one person's pleasure, one person's use.   And so, again, those connections that are supposed to exist between people now exist between a person and their screen. And you'll see across the board, these are people who easily get addicted. It's meant to be addicted, experience increased levels of depression, anxiety, suicide.   Grades go down for teenagers. They lose friends. So much research showing the devastating impact of pornography.   Laura Dugger: (38:19 - 38:32) That is really helpful. Thank you for sharing that. And back to that greater question. So, when you're advising parents to educate themselves, that's the first step. What's the next step in the process?   Janelle Rupp: (38:33 - 41:29) So, the second step that I recommend is to regularly to enter in. We aren't called to be our kids' best friends. We're called to step into their lives.   And that means stepping into friendships and relationships. It actually means stepping into their phone. You know, the amount of parents that tell me, I feel really bad because it's their phone.   And yet it's something that the parent is paying for, right? And so, that is a part of our lives, too. Theirs and ours.   But stepping into social media pages, their schools, their activities. And I think we don't have to be creepy about it. And that's what I think parents most, they're like, I don't want to creep my kid out or make them pull away.   I just think we have to be really intentional beforehand that we're developing this relationship of trust and communication. So, Josh McDowell has said rules without relationship equal rebellion. And so, the flip side of that is that when I have rules where I'm entering in and I have relationships where I'm entering in, that will equal trust.   And so, we need to keep entering in because we want to keep earning their trust. It goes both ways. We want that trust and communication.   So, entering in out of a desire for relationship, but also entering in with boundaries and rules for our kids in order to continue to build that trust between us. And then the third regularly statement is to regularly extend grace to yourself. Guilt and shame cannot go away without grace.   And a lot of us live with guilt and shame when it comes to these subjects. I often hear that that's one of the key reasons that parents will hesitate to talk to their child. They'll say to me, I don't want them to ask me about what I did.   And the only remedy for shame is grace. It's why God's plan to extend grace in sending Jesus. It's the best plan for our world because we're literally drowning in guilt and shame over these subjects.   And so, as parents, we first have to learn and work through accepting grace for ourselves. But for the purpose of extending it to others, it's very, very hard to extend grace when we haven't accepted it ourselves. And so, I think it starts with us.   And then again, it extends out to our kids. My husband and I were working through something that was happening with our teenagers this year. And I thought it was so profound.   As he said this statement, by God's grace, our kids will never get caught up in it. But it's also that same grace that will provide a way for our kids to get out of it. And so, we need to remember God's grace is greater than all of our sins.   And we can rest in that even if we don't do everything perfectly as a parent. Even if we forget to answer one of the questions. Even if our kids choose a path that is different than what we had taught them.   God's grace is greater than all of our sins.   Laura Dugger: (41:30 - 43:53) And I don't think we can hear that enough. So, thank you for that reminder.   Did you know that we are now accepting donations online through Venmo?   It's just one of our additional ways that you can give to support the work of the Savvy Sauce Charities and keep us on the air where we can keep providing this content for free. We pray that you'll consider partnering with us and generously donating before your end. Thanks for your support.   Well, Janelle, I think that you're so wise to teach parents that there's obviously no formula, and that's why it's so vitally important to keep in step with the spirit as we have these conversations with our children. But also, I'm sure that you've learned some wise and age-appropriate guidelines for teaching our kids about sex and sexuality.   So, will you share those with us for the different age ranges?   Janelle Rupp: (43:55 - 50:10) Yes, I think you're exactly right. There isn't a set formula because, again, as I mentioned before, every kid is different. Every experience and exposure is different.   But there are some general guidelines in order to, again, have these regular conversations with our kids. So, beginning ages kind of three to seven, I think focusing on what it means to be made in God's image, what it means to have a male part versus female part, how that kind of defines each gender. And understanding also what is private and safe within that is important.   So, one of the things that I did with my kids is very early on, as we were bathing in those ages, we would say, Thank you, God, for our fingers and our noses, and thank you, God, for our toes, and say, Thank you, God, for a penis because you're a boy, and thank you, God, for a vagina because you're a girl, and thank you for parts that we can't see inside of us. And I would name some of those parts as well, because I think it just helps them start recognizing, again, the beauty of what it means to be created by God. And also highlighting safe pictures and unsafe pictures, safe touch and unsafe touch, and stuff that I touched on before.   I think that's important as well. But then I personally believe this is one of the best ages to begin forming a framework on the sanctity of human life, that all life is created by God and for God in the image of God. And therefore, all life should be treated with dignity, respect, and love, regardless of size, regardless of gender, regardless of skin color, regardless of neediness or challenges.   It's a really natural and important tie-in to the subject at this age. And then when you get into that next age, age 8 to 10, I kind of think of it a little bit like preteen. Just continuing on with that conversation but bringing up this word puberty.   And kids always look terrified when I say that word. And I always tell them, then puberty is not a scary word. And I'm sorry that you have this vision that it is.   But puberty really is just human growth and development that make us male and make us female. And so, I think teaching our kids not to be even afraid of that word. There are parts that we need to keep private.   And yes, we don't need to talk about that with everybody. But these are not wrong or bad parts. They're parts that are created by God for God.   And God is a good God. And God is a sovereign God. And so, He created it for our good with us in mind.   And so, just continuing to engage and encourage our kids on those ideas at age 10. And then 10 to 12, and some educators would say sex should be introduced by age 10. I found that based on just, again, the exposure that my kids had, we had this type of a conversation as they headed into more age 11.   I think it for sure should be talked about before age 12. But at that point, you want to make sure you're including just a framework on what biblical sex and marriage is and what it's purposed for. Again, purpose for procreation, making babies, purpose for intimacy, even purpose for pleasure.   Listen, no 10 to 12-year-old is going to understand that part yet, which is fine because you're going to revisit it later when they're kids. This is a regular thing, right? But you want them to hear it from you.   You want them to hear it from you first so they understand that you are trustworthy. And so, they should be taught that sex is best seen in that context of marriage. One man, one woman that have left their father and mother, they've taken hold of each other in marriage.   And as a result, then a parent and actually ideally both parents, mom and dad, are able to help a child understand that framework and also recognize basic deviations outside of that framework. Not just that sex before marriage is outside, but also sex outside of marriage, the sexual and gender identity confusion. Anything that's falling outside of God's design for marriage and sex is a deviation from what he designed.   And then in that kind of 13 and older, recommendations that I make is always that you begin to establish a really good framework on how to have God-honoring relationships with someone of the opposite gender. I actually highly recommend Ephesians chapter 5 as you make this plan with your child. And a couple key points that it talks about within that chapter is that we treat those in the faith, those that share our common belief in Jesus Christ as brothers and sisters in Christ, in friendship and in a possible relationship, but one that has a lot of purpose and a plan in place.   But then we treat those who are not sharing our faith with love, but yet an understanding that those aren't relationships that I can pursue because I can't have an expectation that they are going to bring me closer to Christ, whereas the other should. And so, as parents within that, again, 13 and older category, you really need to start paying very much attention and entering in into those relationships that they have with their friends and their peers, because this is the second biggest impact maker on their decision-making next to you. Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with the wise will be wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”   I really believe in parents. If you need to change up their environment in order to help them form more God-honoring relationships in step with that Ephesians 5, we should not be afraid to do so. And again, continuing to expand on those other frameworks before, because regular conversations, but you're just getting into greater detail, more fine-tuning.   And I actually think at this age, too, you're digging deep into the truth of Scripture with your child. So, you let them come alongside you as you're learning how to answer these questions so that they can continue to refine who they are in Christ and to refine how to keep accountable with the Word of God and to refine how to set boundaries and how to navigate relationships in what I call purposeful dating versus purposeless dating. And purposeful dating, really just the overarching idea there is just that in the end, if it does end, that there may be sadness, but that there is also learning that comes so that I am lessening the brokenness and damage that may come as a result as well.   Laura Dugger: (50:11 - 50:30) And I love how also in your teaching, you lay out specific guidelines that don't fit within an age category, but they're more so for children who are at cell phone age or where they have unattended internet use. So, will you share some of those guidelines with us now, too?   Janelle Rupp: (50:31 - 54:54) Yes, for sure. You know, I always say when you introduce a cell phone to your child, especially one that has internet included with that phone, it does change a little of those guidelines that I just mentioned in that you need to increase the speed and the ages or decrease the ages, technically, in which you are discussing these things. Just because you're giving them a lot of access to things that will speak an opposite message from what you would be saying.   And so, when I encourage parents to look at a couple things as they're making the decisions about when to give a cell phone, I think you're specifically looking at does your child understand what it means to be indwelled by the Holy Spirit? And are they showing evidence of the fruits of his work in their lives? In other words, do I see evidence of the Spirit in the life of my child?   And so, that means does he or she recognize self-control? They know when they have it and they know when they don't. Do they recognize how to be a peacemaker?   Do they recognize how to be loving in what they say and what they do? Do they recognize and show faithfulness, kindness, gentleness, joy, patience, all of those fruits of the Spirit? And do they recognize and show that not just in person with someone, but even behind the screen when they don't see that person face to face?   And listen, no parent is going to say, oh, yeah, 100% of the time my kid is showing evidence of the fruits of the Spirit. But if I can honestly say yes, my child is showing that he is growing in evidence of that. And then you decide this is the age for him to have a phone.   Most educators, I'll just be super clear, most educators that work with teens, they recommend an age of anywhere from 13 to 15. But when you do give that, those same adults that work with those teens will also say the following, that a device should not be allowed in a private room or a private place. There should be a family charging place.   And we are on phones when we are around other people. And then that you should also have no phone zones for us. The dinner table is one of our very most important ones so that we are learning how to, again, continue to engage in conversation with one another without our phones, which is growing the relationship building that we want to grow.   And so, we hold to those boundaries. Understanding that an all access, unmonitored pass to the Internet does break down identity. It does work against.   And there's so much evidence to this. You know, even five years ago, I was less inclined to say hard and fast rules on the use of cell phones for teens. However, more and more and more and more, we continue to see research study after research study.   There's documentaries. Now there's reports about the dangers of the unlimited, unmonitored access to screens and how it hurts our kids emotionally, intellectually, socially, spiritually and even physically. I mean, I think of less sleep.   Right. Something that I've learned over these 10 years is that no kid stumbles into pornography with the use of their phone on purpose. So, so, so many times the first time is an accident and it happens again because that Internet use is unmonitored.   And so, here's another hard truth as well. It often also happens because someone else in the house or the family may be viewing pornography and it's in that browser history or it's in the logarithm of the device they're using. And so, understanding what drives that first use, but then the ramifications of that first look.   So, even if it's an inadvertent look, the hook to pornography is so addicting. And again, we talked about the damaging effects on our brains, our emotions and our relationship. So, I just think monitoring phones and Internet access is, yes, exhausting.   I mean, I feel it. But at the same time, the risk is so great that there's no way that we can stop while they are in our home. Because the worry and the regret of, oh, I should have done X, Y, Z, I think outweighs any type of temporary exhaustion for me in my day to have to check and monitor phone use.   Laura Dugger: (54:55 - 55:21) That's such a good point. It's going to cost us energy on one side or the other. But that is a wise choice to go with the hard choice first and hopefully more of an easier or more fruitful path.   When you reflect on our conversation so far, what hope do we all have for the gospel of grace impacting us specifically as it relates to our sexuality?   Janelle Rupp: (55:23 - 58:58) When I hear that question, I really love it. I instantly think shame is a result of sin, connecting that to the grace that is shown from our Creator and our Redeemer. And all of that, again, is really on display in Genesis 3.   And so, I want to take us there as I answer that question. I tell my students shame has two definitions. There is shame as a verb to shame someone.   And then there is shame as a noun to feel shame as a result of something that we have done wrong. Shame as a verb is something we never want to do. That's not a good thing, right?   But shame as a noun is actually a God-given gift that is meant to bring us back into relationship with God. And you look at how Adam and Eve in Genesis 3. It makes me chuckle, honestly, because as they feel the shame of their sin, their next step is to create garments to cover themselves.   And their shame was so great, but they went ahead and put these fig leaves on top of their bodies, these parts that now have to be private because of shame. And I just think to myself, those fig leaves had to have been so insufficient. We do this too, though.   We come up with ways to clothe ourselves to cover up the shame that we feel. It might be past sexual sin. It might be present sexual sin.   And we try our best to hide it. We try our best to make ourselves look presentable with our covering so that people won't see our sin and see our shame. I mean, all of that is that feeling that comes from that feeling of shame as a result of sin.   But what's beautiful when we look at Genesis 3, when Adam finally comes clean about his sin and shame. And I will say, listen, he doesn't do it perfectly because God has to literally say, where are you? Knowing where he is, but like basically saying, Adam, come out, come clean, right?   But as Adam does come clean about his sin and the shame that he's feeling, right? What does God do? God covers Adam and Eve with garments that He provides and He makes from the very first shedding of blood that we see recorded in Scripture.   And I'm doing it now. I weep every single time that I talk about this part, because God knows how to deal with shame so much better than we do. He knows how to deal with our shame in a way and cover us in a way that is a once for always.   And it's Genesis 3 is just a beautiful foreshadowing of how Christ is going to be sent. And there he comes in Matthew, right? To cover shame forever.   And so, as we remember that Jesus spilled his blood on a cross and then resurrected, conquering death and sin and the grave. We also get covered by that blood so that we no longer have to hide. We no longer have to feel that shame.   And we can stand, Romans 8 says, without condemnation. “Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ,” because Christ has covered us with garments completely and perfectly for forever. And so, our hope in this for our own sin, our past sin, any present sin, any future sin, and our hope for any sin that may rise up out of the heart of our child.   It's in the gospel that the gracious and loving covering that God gives us through Jesus is complete, making us right before God for all time.   Laura Dugger: (58:58 - 1:00:05) I love that so much, Janelle. And it makes me think of, I can't remember the research study, but they tracked people's brains when they were feeling like shame or regret or guilt. And found that sometimes people who struggle with anxious thoughts, that they have an over-functioning part of their brain where they can have those feelings of shame, sometimes when they haven't done anything shameful.   So, there's almost like a real guilt or a false guilt. And all of this conversation brings me to 2 Corinthians 7:10, where God addressed that first, because in the Bible it says, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” And so, if we're going like even a level deeper to tease out that shame, sometimes we've felt that before.   Maybe, let's say, if something was done to us, and that's not the same shame that requires repentance, which is the godly sorrow. So, does that make sense?   Janelle Rupp: (1:00:05 - 1:00:28) Yes, exactly. That's exactly my point. And getting the kids to understand the difference between those shames but then seeing shame as not something that I have to push against.   Because if it is that godly shame that comes after me making a wrong choice, that is that shame to bring me closer to God in and through repentance. And again, that's a beautiful thing.   Laura Dugger: (1:00:29 - 1:00:39) It is, and it leads to freedom, which we may not think of in the moment, but that confession and bringing something to the light, that that is the best way to live.   Janelle Rupp: (1:00:39 - 1:00:40) Exactly.   Laura Dugger: (1:00:40 - 1:00:48) Are there any other important takeaways that you want parents and their children to be aware of as it applies to sex and sexuality?   Janelle Rupp: (1:00:49 - 1:02:44) Yes, you know, I think of two things here. The first being that, you know, sexual sin is really just one of many sins that Christ covers that he died for. You know, the blood of Christ covers the adulterer just as much as it covers the gossiper.   It covers the pregnant teenager and her boyfriend just as much as it covers you and I. And I think in the past, the church has overemphasized this sin and underemphasized others. But yet on the flip side, I mean, I think we really can't deny these are sins.   And even when we look at Scripture, it doesn't deny this. These are sins that carry a greater consequence and potential for enticing us towards, again, more habitual, ongoing sin in ways that just affect us deeper than other sins, which is why 1 Corinthians 6:18 says “Flee from sexual immorality.” And I'm going to pause there for just a second, because the Greek word for sexual immorality is the word pornea.   And you and I can't hear the word pornea without immediately thinking of porn. And so, I think it's fascinating that the root word for pornography is literally translated as sexual immorality. It's really an important thing.   But 1 Corinthians 6:18, again, it starts saying “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside of the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” And this means that sexual sin at its root is a problem of identity, which is, again, why you have to link that human sexuality with gospel identity.   Our aim cannot be for our children to make it to marriage having never had sex or never getting pregnant. To me, that's a low fruit. That is a low aim.   Our aim needs to be raising children with a gospel identity that is rooted in the creative and redemptive work of Jesus Christ and seeing the outgrowth from there.   Laura Dugger: (1:02:44 - 1:02:56) Wow. Well said. And if we boil all of this down, what is just one action step that you first recommend for anyone who finishes this message today?   Janelle Rupp: (1:02:57 - 1:04:19) Yeah, I'm going to give you a three-in-one just tying back to those three key regularly statements. One of the primary resources that I love to recommend in terms of educating ourselves is for parents to go to axis.org. That is A-X-I-S dot org, and sign up to receive their free Culture Translator weekly newsletter. And that will be sent to your email on a weekly basis for free.   And it gives a whole rundown of what's been happening in teen culture for that week. And just by simply opening up your email, you're going to start educating yourself. And they also have a host of other excellent resources and podcasts and a ton of material on their website that I would recommend.   But that's just one little step. And then for the enter in, I would recommend scheduling a date now. Put it on your calendar.   Find a time to take your child on a shopping date, an ice cream date, so that you can begin to enter into their lives and keep building that relationship with them. And then lastly, between now and that date, just open up God's Word. Reflect on the grace of God.   Let it wash over your heart. Let it wash over your mind. Get engaged with worship.   All of those will equip you well to do that hard work of entering in with your child when you meet them for that date.   Laura Dugger: (1:04:20 - 1:04:29) I've loved this chat so much. And if anybody's wondering about