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277. Breaking Through Addiction in Marriage with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith   *DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults.   1 John 1:9 AMP "If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose].”   *Transcription Below*   Thank You to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company   Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are clinicians, speakers, and authors with over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Their mission is to help couples navigate the complexities of relational challenges, particularly in the aftermath of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, fostering deep restoration and growth.   Matthew is a Professional Certified Coach (ICF) with a background in pastoral leadership, while Joanna is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, EMDR practitioner, and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist through APSATS. Both hold Master of Divinity degrees and have served together on multiple church leadership teams. Currently, they co-lead their private practice, The Raabsmith Team, where they specialize in helping couples rebuild connection, trust, and intimacy.   Their passion for this work stems from their own journey of restoration. After experiencing the devastating effects of sexual addiction and betrayal in their marriage, Matthew and Joanna embarked on a years-long pursuit of reconciliation. This transformative experience led to the creation of tools like The Intimacy Pyramid™, a practical model for relational restoration and growth co-created with colleague Dan Drake.    Their first book, Building True Intimacy (2023), has sold over 1,000 copies and provides practical guidance for couples to use the Intimacy Pyramid to create enduring connections. They also founded Renewing Us Recovery™, a comprehensive program designed to support couples in the later stages of relational restoration. In November 2025, they will host the inaugural Renewing Us Couples Retreat, offering workshops and connection opportunities for couples on similar paths of recovery and growth.   Matthew and Joanna live in Memphis, Tennessee with their three young children. They prioritize self-care through shared adventures, new experiences, and a weekly game of pickleball.   Free Resource Mentioned in Episode   Building True Intimacy book   Questions and Topics Discussed: What were the warning signs that you noticed when you were newlyweds that tipped you off to believing things weren't quite as they seemed? Are there any common life circumstances, whether nature or nurture, that predispose someone to be more likely to struggle with a sexual addiction? As couples seek to thrive in marriage, will you give us an overview of the intimacy pyramid you wrote a book about?   Other Episodes Mentioned During Episode: Pornography: Protecting Children, Personal Healing, Recovery, and Victory in Christ with Sam Black Pornography Addiction and Helpful Recovery with Crystal Renaud Day   Additional Related Episodes on The Savvy Sauce: Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder Protecting Your Marriage Against Unfaithfulness with Dave Carder Stories Series: Recovery From Sexual Sin in Marriage with Garrett and Brenna Naufel Supernatural Restoration Story with Bob and Audrey Meisner Special Patreon Re-Release Wholehearted Quiet Time with Naomi Vacaro   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”   Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”   John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:12)   Laura Dugger: (0:13 - 1:38) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   Leman Property Management Company has the apartment you will be able to call home, with over 1,700 apartment units available in Central Illinois. Visit them today at lemanproperties.com, or connect with them on Facebook.   Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are my guests today. They are clinicians, speakers, and authors with over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Our conversation takes a few turns, from getting to hear their incredible and vulnerable story of healing and then getting tips for talking to our children about topics like sex, and also even receiving some practical wisdom and tips for enhancing our own marital enjoyment.   Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Matthew and Joanna.   Matthew Raabsmith: (1:39 - 1:40) So good to be here.   Joanna Raabsmith: (1:40 - 1:42) So glad to be here. Thanks for having us.   Laura Dugger: (1:42 - 1:51) Oh, truly my pleasure. And let's just start here. Can you share your story going back to meeting and falling in love and your first part of marriage?   Matthew Raabsmith: (1:53 - 2:17) Sure, yeah. It was a little bumpy at first, actually. So, I knew Joanna through her brother. Joanna's brother was one of my best friends, and I got to meet her whenever she would come in town and visit, and she would invade guy night. He would usually bring her along to like a Lord of the Rings movie or something, and I would be a little frustrated because I would be like, oh, you brought your sister. Great. That's wonderful.   Joanna Raabsmith: (2:18 - 2:24) A little off-putting, not super friendly. And I was like, your friend's kind of a jerk. We did not like each other at all in the beginning.   Matthew Raabsmith: (2:24 - 2:54) Not big fans. And eventually over some time, we started to realize we had a lot in common. We liked to do a lot of the same things.   And one summer that Joanna was in town, we started hanging out, started doing more and more together, and really just kind of developed a friendship, which was really fun. And at the very end of the summer, realized that there was something between us. And so, we went on one date.   Our first date, we entered a golf tournament. We won it, and that was a good sign.   Joanna Raabsmith: (2:54 - 2:55) That's a pretty good sign.   Matthew Raabsmith: (2:55 - 3:02) And we went on three more dates over the course of two months and got engaged.   Joanna Raabsmith: (3:03 - 3:07) And then two months after that, we got married.   Matthew Raabsmith: (3:07 - 3:16) Yeah. So, her brother went from like, yeah, it's cool you date my sister, to like, you're not ready to get married. But he's come around now.   Joanna Raabsmith: (3:17 - 3:19) 15 years later. Yeah.   Matthew Raabsmith: (3:19 - 3:40) And, you know, a lot of it was, I think we had a definite sense of being kind of called together, being, you know, something special about who we were as a couple. And also, a recognition that we wanted to figure out what a good marriage looked like. We were really excited about marriage, but we didn't really know what we were doing.   Joanna Raabsmith: (3:41 - 4:15) Yeah, I've had a really great model of healthy relationship. My parents have a wonderful marriage. They work really well as a team.   And so, I knew, like, I want something like that. But as soon as we got married, we realized, but how do you actually build that? There's no, like, instruction manual for, okay, here are the things to do to have a great relationship.   And so, we read books. We went to conferences. You know, we did what we could, but we still found ourselves getting stuck, not able to really create, like, that deep sense of, like, connection intimacy that we really wanted.   Matthew Raabsmith: (4:15 - 5:17) And we started kind of hunting more and more for resources. We found some incredible resources that really changed our understanding of the way relationships work, the way people work, and really, for us, shifted our entire focus of kind of what we wanted to do, even with our life. And as we started to do that, though, we still kind of found ourselves at this kind of glass wall.   We felt like no matter what we tried, there was always this kind of distance between us. And that started to grow kind of over the years that we were together. It wasn't getting better.   It was actually kind of getting worse and worse and worse. And so, Joanna had actually decided to, after we finished our first grad degree together, the idea was we were going to go be pastors. And so, we had finished our kind of theological training.   Joanna decided she wanted to get a master's in marriage and family therapy so we could do some work around marriages and ministry in that way. And her very first-class kind of just set our life in a completely different direction.   Joanna Raabsmith: (5:17 - 6:26) Yes. So, my first class in the MFT program was a two-week intensive called Shame and Guilt. So, that's a really fun two-week intensive to be a part of. And as a part of that, though, they had an anonymous pastor come and share his testimony of struggling with sex addiction, becoming sober, getting into good recovery, healing and restoration in his marriage, kind of like that whole journey. And as he was talking, something inside of me started stirring. And I knew, OK, what he's saying is resonating way too much with me right now.   I think this is the thing. This is what is keeping us stuck, not able to really create the relationship we want. And so, that day I went home and first I just kind of started talking about my class, what I learned, what this pastor had shared.   Right. And nothing. Right.   We're just kind of talking generally about it. And so, finally I couldn't do it anymore. And I just stopped and I looked him square in the eyes and I said, “Are you struggling with this in our marriage right now?”   Matthew Raabsmith: (6:26 - 8:03) Yeah. And for the first time in my life, 20 years, I had been struggling with pornography, sexual addiction, and acting out in our marriage. And for the first time in my life, I was honest.   I had lied for years, both with Joanna and everyone else. And the kind of floodgates just kind of opened up. And I finally said yes.   And it was really hearing the story, I think, is what did it for me. I think it was knowing that somebody else had made it, that their life hadn't come crashing down because that was the greatest fear for me. That the moment anyone found this out, everything in my life would be over. Everything that I loved would be gone.   And so, this kind of story of hope gave me a little bit of courage that day, to be honest. But that started a really long journey for us because there was a lot of damage that was done in both of my hiding. And now kind of this revelation, all the pain kind of came crashing down on Joanna and kind of her shoulders.   And so, we started a quite intensive recovery process. We talked about it being kind of a full-time job. I went to recovery for my addiction and for kind of my acting out behaviors. Joanna had to begin a process of healing from the trauma of this discovery. And that process took us a number of years. It really was a long kind of arduous journey, but one that we ultimately survived and now thrive in our marriage and get the incredible luxury and the kind of gift of helping other couples do that.   So, that's kind of where we find ourselves.   Laura Dugger: (8:04 - 8:30) That is incredible. I just really appreciate you sharing your story. Clearly, stories are so powerful and that's what led to some healing for you and hopefully can open the floodgates for somebody else listening.   So, if we go back in your story, then, Joanna, I'd love to start with you. What were some of those red flags in early marriage that things aren't quite as they seem?   Joanna Raabsmith: (8:31 - 10:28) Yeah, there are a few. You know, I think that, you know, one of the pieces we kind of talked about, like, OK, we knew we're still getting stuck because there's 90 percent that felt really good. But then 10 percent that was extremely chaotic, really destructive.   Right. We would get we call the pain cycles when we get emotionally dysregulated. And there would be some things that, right.   Sometimes we would get into pain cycles, get dysregulated. And I kind of understand why. Right.   Like something happened. There was the disagreement. But other times I couldn't put my finger on it.   Right. Matthew would just get really angry and really shut down. And I wouldn't be able to connect it to anything that had happened in our life.   And so, it was very confusing. It was really hard to understand what was going on. And I think kind of in the same way, when I would pull too close into that connection, that intimacy, he would pull back.   Right. And it felt like even though we both named this goal and this desire, he would never actually partner with me in it. And so, again, that was really confusing because the actions were not matching up with reality and what was happening.   And I think the other piece that was kind of true for us and true for a lot of other people is that our own sexual relationship was fraught with pain. And so, there was, again, a lot that was really good, but also a lot that was really painful and confusing. And some of the pieces just didn't connect.   Right. And I would wonder, OK, what's going on? Well, I guess this is just the reality that like this is how much we get to expect in this area of our life, right.   In our relationship. And so, it was when the pastor started describing his life and addiction and what that looked like emotionally, sexually, relationally. I was like, oh, those are all the things that I'm currently experiencing.   Here's one thing that would answer all those questions that I have. And so, I think that was part of it. He kind of told me, like, OK, this is it.   Laura Dugger: (10:28 - 11:00) That would be so eye opening. And my heart's going out to the couple who is maybe starting to identify with this. Was it and share whatever you're comfortable with from your story or the person's story who opened things up to you?   So, sexually, I'm wondering if it was for you, Joanna, if you were hoping to connect sexually and that wasn't happening and that was confusing. You didn't feel pursued. But I don't want to fill in the blanks.   So, could you elaborate?   Joanna Raabsmith: (11:00 - 12:03) Absolutely. Yeah. And we find it a lot of different ways than couples that we work with.   Right. And so, it can be sometimes on either side of the extreme. And so, for us, it was where there would be kind of times when he'd be fully present and interested and engaged. Right. And then all of a sudden, kind of like I described emotionally, he would just withdraw and not be there. And I would reach out to connect.   And that was this like non-response. And which, again, didn't match up with those other times when he was engaged and wanting to connect. And he would give some sort of excuse that didn't totally make sense.   Right. But I was kind of like, what else? What was I left with except that?   So, I would kind of believe that and go with it, even though it didn't sit right. And so, yeah, I think that was part of it. We will see on the other side for some other couples.   It's the opposite. And maybe that spouse is hypersexual in the relationship. Right.   To the point where there might be pressure, even pressure to do things sexually that people aren't comfortable with. And so, yeah, it can look a lot of different ways. But that was kind of what our disconnect looked like.   Laura Dugger: (12:04 - 12:33) That's so helpful. And there's two different directions I want to go, Matthew. So, I'll set it up.   I guess I'm thinking of the guilt and shame and how those are usually so present. So, I have two questions. Were you when Joanna came to you, were you at a point where you recognize something was off and you wanted freedom from this and or had tried freedom before?   Let's start with that and then I'll go into the other one.   Matthew Raabsmith: (12:34 - 14:40) Yeah, it really was holy timing in a lot of ways. I, you know, for a lot of years I had I hated what I did. I didn't feel like I could stop it, but didn't have a lot of interest in kind of doing anything to stop it.   I kind of just like would just say, “OK, this is going to be the last time.” And then, you know, of course it would come back. But I think at this point I had really started to see the damage that was happening to our relationship.   I could feel us growing close, growing further apart. I could see kind of Joanna and the confusion that she was having. And like she couldn't understand things.   She would ask me a lot of questions that I didn't have answers to. And so, I actually a couple of months earlier, we were at a worship service, and they had said like, “hey, if you are ready to give something up, if you feel like there's something holding you back, come forward and confess it.” And Joanna and I were sitting next to each other, and I remember feeling like the Holy Spirit just like pulling me to like get up out of my seat and I wouldn't move.   I was like, no, because she's going to ask me what I went down for. I'm going there's you know, there's a random kind of prayer partner at the front. I'm like, I'm not going and confessing this to some random person.   And so, I was ready. But I think like I said, I think there was no path forward. It was kind of confess this and everything stops and ends.   But everything like marriage ends, life ends. And so, when she when she brought this, it really did feel like God had kind of been answering a prayer that I've been praying of like, if you give me a way out, I'll take it. I'm desperate.   I want it to stop. And it felt like that. I think it was both this kind of terror and this hope that day.   And even when I said, yes, it was a little bit like, what have I done? Like, could this have been different? Should I have just gone and told someone else privately?   Right. But I think ultimately that it was out between the two of us and that we kind of knew it. We knew what we were dealing with made a huge difference.   But I mean, God had been working in my life, offering opportunities for so long. I just been saying no, no, no. And then finally, you know, I think my heart just broke and it was like, yes, OK, I'm ready for this.   Laura Dugger: (14:40 - 15:14) I love how the Holy Spirit equipped you with that humility and courage to be brave in that moment. And it's such a blessing for all of us to get to see the end or I guess not the end of the story, but you at this point in your story where you're thriving. And so, I hope that offers a lot of hope to people listening.   But let's also pause. And so, going back further in time, Matthew, this was the other part of my question. What was life and attachment and your growing up journey like?   Matthew Raabsmith: (15:15 - 18:09) Yeah, I didn't know that at the time. Right. I a lot of this I figured out in the last couple of years of recovery.   You know, if you would have asked me, you know, as I was growing up about my life, I would have told you I had the perfect family. I had the perfect life. I think I did not realize that some of the things that I was going through weren't perfect, were harder.   And part of that was because I think the way my family dynamic worked was we just swept everything under the rug. You know, whatever happened, we just kind of went, OK, and moved on from. And I learned to do that as a kid.   And that meant a lot of emotional chaos. There was a lot of physical chaos and kind of volatility in our house growing up. And even though I had parents who are still married to this day, have stayed together and have tried to create kind of a stable life.   There was a lot of emotional and kind of relational instability. We moved around a lot. And then once we started moving, I found myself more and more kind of isolated at school. I started dealing with bullying and some things that really kind of left me not knowing how to deal with the pain that I was going through. And so, my way of stuffing things under the rug was getting, you know, escaping, you know, kind of escaping into anything that I could. I watched a lot of TV.   I was a latchkey kid, so I would come home. I'd watch TV a lot in the afternoon and then TV kind of just turned to more and more. And I was exposed pretty young to pornography, actually at a church camp.   I was at a summer church camp. Someone brought a Playboy magazine, and I was exposed to pornography. And I kind of felt that high, that rush.   And that just became kind of a mode of my escape. Right. Of whatever I could do to engage sexually, whether with my mind or with others.   That's how I could get out of the pain I was in. That's how I could stop feeling kind of the chaos that I was having and not realizing that it was becoming this kind of adaptive habit, that it would just be this thing I would go back to more and more. And I grew up at a time that technology was still emerging.   So, I can remember when we got our first computer and no one was talking about safeguards or anything. And so, it was just kind of exposure. Here you go.   Here's everything you could ever want and don't need. And that really became my life. And the more and more that I did, the better and better I got at lying and hiding and even being kind of vulnerable in kind of fake ways.   I would mention things like, yeah, we all have this struggle. And even Joanna, I had told like, you know, that was a struggle of mine in the past, but I've moved on from it. Right.   I told myself and other people just kind of lie after lie after lie so that I could have really this double life. I could appear one way and then I could be acting a completely different way, kind of in the dark.   Laura Dugger: (18:10 - 20:41) Yeah. And that makes sense. I'm thinking back to two episodes.   We did one with a male, Sam Black from Covenant Eyes, and he speaks so much of the origins of pornography and that foothold that Satan gets. And so many times it is in childhood, unwittingly you're exposed and then what it can turn into. And then Crystal Renaud Day came on to share a lot of females struggle with this as well.   And so, I'll link to those if those are a help.   And now a brief message from our sponsor. 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And in Morton, they offer a variety of apartment homes with garages, a hot downtown location and now a brand-new high-end complex near Idlewood Park. If you want to become part of their team, contact them about open office positions.   They're also hiring in their maintenance department. So, we invite you to find out why so many people have chosen to make a career with them. Check them out on Facebook today or email their friendly staff at Leasing@LemanProps.com.   You can also stop by their website at lemanproperties.com. Check them out and find your place to call home today.   So, at that moment when you've confessed, Matthew, the floodgates open for you and Joanna.   What did life look like for both of you next and even individually your journeys?   Matthew Raabsmith: (20:42 - 22:30) Yeah, it was separate. We did not separate, but we were really focused on our two different journeys because they were so different. For me, I had to figure out what had really gone on in my life and what was really happening.   Because, like I said, I had become such an expert at hiding from myself and others that I didn't really know how to live any other way. And so, I, you know, Joanna kind of handed me a list of everything this pastor had done. She was like, here you go.   Right. She kind of handed me that list and was like, good luck. And so, I dove in.   I went to a men's intensive. And I think that was probably one of the key places for me to tell my story for the first time. I really took a look at my life and had some people help me take a look and recognize the trauma that I had as a kid exposure that I had experienced and what that really meant to me and helped me understand what I was doing.   But also, kind of what I was doing to myself, how I was really kind of killing myself from the inside out and preventing myself from having the kind of relationship I wanted with God and other people. And so, that discovery was in really ways kind of invigorating for me. I felt like I was living for the first time.   I think I had started to kind of get out of this kind of burden, this fear of always being caught. I told Joanna kind of the history of everything that had happened in my life and our relationship. And so, I was feeling this kind of renewed sense of like energy and excitement of like, this is good.   I want this life. I want the life there that I'm not in constant kind of fear and in constant kind of connection to this thing I hate. And so, which is really different than what Joanna was experiencing.   Joanna Raabsmith: (22:30 - 25:07) Yeah. So, for me, it was very jarring in the beginning. Everything I thought was real came crashing down around me.   And that was especially jarring because I had left kind of the direction, the path that I was on. Right. We talked about our story earlier.   It included two months of dating, two months of engagement before we got married. And that also included me dropping out of law school, getting married and moving to California to pursue a ministry degree so we could work as pastors together or do something together. And so, in that moment, all of that came crashing down.   And I kind of was very lost, not just in our relationship, but in kind of what in the world am I even doing here? What am I going to do moving forward if he doesn't choose recovery? Right.   And so, just all of those question marks, all in that one moment of him answering that question affirmative. And so, so there was like that heaviness on one side and then on the other side was this relief of finally everything I've been experiencing makes sense. Right. Finally, I feel like I actually know what's going on. And because of that, there could maybe be a path forward for us as well. So, is this very, very weird dichotomy in that moment? And so, but I think I knew right away, like, I can't be vulnerable. I can't be intimate with him anymore. Right.   I have to step back in our relationship and wait and see what he chooses to do. Is he going to choose to do the work of recovery and get healthy and start to be honest and safe or not? And so, that's so we kind of did kind of there's some space for a very long period of time while we focused on our own individual recoveries.   And that, again, was a little bumpy for me. This is over a decade ago. And so, there is very little information about what partners experience.   We call it betrayal trauma, and that just wasn't a very common word at the time. And so, some of the resources I plugged into came from a more we would call it codependent, co-addict focus, which just really didn't fit. So, I struggled to find resources that felt like they fit for my journey.   But once I did, it all again, my own healing process started to make sense. And it was so like freeing and liberating to understand. Like, oh, OK, this is what I'm going through. This is why I feel this way.   This is what it looks like to heal and move forward. And so, kind of beginning that process was so important because then when Matthew was kind of in a healthy, safe place, I was as well, and we can start to step in towards each other on that kind of more couples' journey at that point.   Laura Dugger: (25:07 - 25:17) I love how you did that wisely, though, separate first, not rushing into couples at that time. Absolutely.   Matthew Raabsmith: (25:18 - 26:33) Appreciate you calling it wise. I think we were terrified. Yeah, we'll take God's help.   I think he was like, you guys just work on your own stuff for a while. And in some ways, like I said, it was we didn't know what we were doing. But I think we knew we wanted there to be a future between the two of us.   But we knew it had to be completely different in some ways than what we had before, which was scary because we liked what we had before. Like we had a really great marriage in many ways. Right.   There was this portion of it, this hidden portion that was really infecting and killing it all. But what we did have together, we didn't want to totally lose. It just was really hard to know, especially early on, what's going to come forward.   Like, who are we still going to be as we go forward? Are we still going to be a couple who does things together? Right. Who works together? Or is that all kind of going to have to be different? Is that the only way that we have kind of moving forward?   And so, that was that was probably the hardest part was having like this sense of like not wanting to lose us. We were like, if we lost that, that was going to be miserable. And I think a lot of our work was about how do we eventually reclaim this marriage that we want, that we love?   Laura Dugger: (26:34 - 27:04) Yes, because from what I'm sensing, you're friends with each other, you're on purpose or on mission with God. He did a course correction change, putting you on this path to help couples. But your desire to work together, it's like He still honored that in the ministry of reconciliation.   And I'm assuming abundantly blessed it beyond what you could ever dreamed up what we're doing now.   Joanna Raabsmith: (27:04 - 27:42) Right. It's been amazing to see what God has done, how he's used our story, which is so fitting because it was someone sharing their story that brought our healing. And I think because of that and it wasn't right away; it took some time to get to the place where we felt open to God using our story to bring healing to others. But we found as we stepped into that, that we have received such a blessing.   Right. And just being able to sit with other couples in that journey and see them go from that place of pain and confusion to this place of restoration and thriving. Like there is no better work that we could have imagined for ourselves.   Laura Dugger: (27:42 - 28:09) Love that. And really, you did have to pioneer a path. There weren't many resources at that time.   So, that's another reason I'm grateful you can share your story, because I hope it unlocks freedom for others. So, if we're turning more outward now and you're helping as you work with couples, how do you help them identify the difference between sexual struggles and sexual addiction?   Matthew Raabsmith: (28:10 - 30:15) Yeah, that's a great question. And I think that it really kind of exists on a spectrum. And so, everything kind of exists under what we call problematic sexual behavior or unwanted sexual behavior.   Whenever someone is acting in a way sexually that doesn't align with their values. And then the question is, is how often, how compulsive, right? How habituated, right?   How really embedded is that practice? Because the more and more embedded it is and the more and more that I continue to act on that, seeing the damage that it's doing, that's really what qualifies as the addiction. The addiction is when I know that this is causing harm and I and I feel that even though I want to stop it and I've tried to stop.   Right. I can't stop the 12 steps has a great line. They say addicts, you know, addicts have no problem stopping.   It's staying stopped. That's hard for an addict. Right.   And so, that's usually a sign that there's an addiction. And really what that means is that just means that I'm going to have to be even more kind of thorough and scrupulous in my willingness to change a lot. Because if I have built an addictive lifestyle, that means everything I do kind of functions to support that lifestyle.   Right. And so, my part of that was this hiding. I lied about everything.   I would lie about anything just to make sure that I was in control of the narrative. And so, for me, it was recognizing that if I was going to move forward free of my addiction, then it had to begin with honesty, with this kind of radical honesty and transparency and growing in that consistently, because that was the way that I manifested this addiction and kind of kept it going. And so, that's really what the addiction is about, is recognizing what are the kind of pieces in my life that are supporting this addiction to continue to exist?   And how is God going to dismantle those things? Right. And how am I going to be a part of that dismantling?   Laura Dugger: (30:16 - 30:33) That's well said. And also, I'm curious, are there any common life circumstances, whether that's nature or nurture, that are more likely to predispose someone to more likely have this struggle with sexual addiction?   Matthew Raabsmith: (30:34 - 32:30) I mean, there are, I think, you know, the things that we tend to look for are trauma and trauma comes in so many different forms. So, trauma is more it's rare that it's a single event. It's often more a kind of consistent occurrences.   As I mentioned, you know, I can't speak to kind of one event in my life that I say this was the traumatic moment in which everything changed. But it was more of the chaos. And so, I grew up in a family that could be really, really, really loving and incredibly encouraging and fun and silly and in a heartbeat switch into one that was verbally and physically just chaotic and terrifying.   And it was that chaos that kept me on edge. What it did was it created in me kind of a system of always wanting to be on high alert. And that would exhaust me.   That would kind of wear me out. And I would want to kind of numb that kind of feeling away. And so, I think those traumas, I do think early exposure.   Right. I mean, I was exposed early before my brain was ready to really understand what it was dealing with. And I think the third component that we often see is a low level or a kind of really a void of sexual education.   There was I'm sure I had a small talk with my dad at some point, but we were not talking about pornography. We weren't talking about bodies. We weren't talking about sex from a kind of healthy, good way.   I grew up in the church, and it was kind of don't do this until you're married and then you'll be fine. Right. That was the sexual education message.   And so, those things, right, trauma, exposure and lack of kind of education usually forms in someone a difficulty of knowing what they're doing, knowing that it's destroying them before it's really kind of gotten a deep hole.   Joanna Raabsmith: (32:30 - 33:20) I think like the brain. The brain aspect to when we talk about addiction, there are usually chemicals involved in addiction being formed, being created. And so, I think also co-occurring disorders, right, that emotional pain, also things like anxiety, depression, ADHD, where my brain really likes the dopamine it gets from sexual acting out. Right.   And you can actually need it to feel OK. That can also be a factor in kind of especially that addictive side of these behaviors. When my brain gets really attached to that dopamine release that it's getting because maybe I have some other things going on or I just have emotional pain.   I don't know what to deal with, how to handle it, how to regulate that in a healthy way.   Laura Dugger: (33:20 - 34:30) There's so many good points there. I'll just highlight one because there's a profound piece that you were talking about with early exposure to evil and the corruption of it is extremely harmful. And yet not being exposed to God's good design for sex and hopefully being coached by our parents, that is both of those play a part in the addiction. And so, I'm thinking even as we shift to think about parents, I know I've had parents come to me and just say, I don't want to talk about this with my kids.   I don't want to rob their innocence. And my approach is if God made it, this is good. We can talk to them.   You're not robbing their innocence when you're sharing the good age-appropriate parts of sex. And it's so great to be that first one to share with them. And I think it does the opposite of what we would expect.   We're afraid that that might make them hyper sexualized. But would you speak to that? Any encouragement for parents?   Matthew Raabsmith: (34:30 - 36:37) Yeah, it's tricky. I mean, even as parents, we've got kids and its still kind of navigating it. But I do think what it does is it lets someone learn the things they need to in the timeline they need to.   I think part of one of the things is that, you know, really good sexual education starts young. I mean, they start six and seven years old or even younger, just talking about our bodies. Right.   Because I think that's part of it. Really, this is about understanding the goodness of our bodies. This body was created by God, the maker of heaven and earth, and he called it good.   And so, I think part of a good sexual education begins with that. And then, what's really nice is once you've started the conversation, that means if your children are exposed or if they're presented with things that don't line up with what they've been hearing, they now feel safe to come and talk about that. Because that's really what this was about.   I didn't feel safe to talk about what I was exposed to, what people were doing. Right. And what people were encouraging me to engage in.   And so, you know, my parents would ask me how it's going. I would not tell them anything because it wasn't a conversation that they were having with me. And so, I didn't think it was a conversation I was going to have with them.   And so, that meant that as I found myself further and further away from my values, I felt like, who am I going to share this with? And so, part of having the conversation is it normalizes with our kids that this is OK to talk about, which is actually what adults need. I mean, part of our work with couples as adults, we have to get them talking about sex and body parts.   I mean, it's amazing to have 30, 40, and 50-year-olds in our offices and in our sessions. And they're so uncomfortable. Right.   They don't want to talk about sex. They don't want to talk about their bodies. They don't want to talk about what their bodies do.   Right. And we keep being like, this is God's good stuff. Right.   There is goodness here. But you have to begin by talking about it. Right.   Having these conversations.   Joanna Raabsmith: (36:38 - 37:54) I tell all the parents I work with, your kids are going to pick up a narrative about what sex is and what sexuality is, whether you want them to or not. And so, would you rather be the first person to step in and give them a healthy view, a healthy narrative to understand? Right.   And this is beyond kind of the nuts and bolts that everything our kids are learning. They're trying to find a deeper meaning. They don't think it's unconscious when they're young. Right. But they're taking it and they're going, what meaning does this have for me? How does this inform my self-worth, my view of my own value as a human in my body?   And how does it inform my experience of the world and my safety in the world? And am I empowered to make decisions? Am I connected?   Do I belong? Right. All of those questions are asking.   And so, as they're confronted with issues of sexuality, it's going to inform those things. And the world will not give them a healthy narrative about it. Right.   And so, being able as a parent to step in and give them that healthy meaning, that narrative, that understanding of their worth and their safety as they're piecing together kind of sexuality, again, at that age-appropriate level is so important.   Laura Dugger: (37:54 - 38:30) Guess what? We are no longer an audio only podcast. We now have video included as well.   If you want to view the conversation each week, make sure you watch our videos. We're on YouTube and you can access videos or find answers to any of your other questions about the podcast when you visit thesavvysauce.com. And I love that you're talking about this with couples you work with.   So, will you give us an overview of the intimacy pyramid that you actually wrote a book about and you teach to couples?   Joanna Raabsmith: (38:30 - 38:31) Absolutely.   Matthew Raabsmith: (38:31 - 39:15) Yeah. I mean, it was born out of our journey because, as you said, we wandered for a while and we felt a little bit like Israel, just kind of, you know, knowing that the Promised Land was out there, but never really feeling like we could find it. And when we started to piece together, I think the kind of relationship that we had dreamed of reclaiming, we really ask ourselves, how can we make this a more direct, a simpler process, not just for couples who went through what we went through, but really for any couple who's hungry for this, for the couple like us when we were first starting.   It really wants an amazing marriage. And so, we really focused on a kind of simplistic idea of what are the core kind of foundational levels of building really healthy intimacy.   Joanna Raabsmith: (39:16 - 40:10) Yeah. So, the intimacy pyramid, it's actually a triangle. There's a visual that goes along with it.   So, if you imagine the different levels of the triangle, very similar to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, starting at the bottom, you have to start with honesty. And so, we definitely experienced that reality in our own relationship. Right.   This is something we learned from Couples in Betrayal, but like Matthew said, we realized this is where every couple starts. Am I willing to be fully open, fully honest and transparent in this relationship? Am I being my authentic self?   Right. And after that level of honesty, that's when we start to build safety. And that has to do with our ability to communicate in really healthy, constructive ways.   Even when it's hard, even when we're disagreeing, even when we feel like yelling at each other. Are we able to show up with that belief that we both have the same goal? We're trying to build something together.   Matthew Raabsmith: (40:10 - 41:57) And with honesty and safety, that's where we get to work on trust as a couple. That's that next level. And trust is where we start to be more partners, where we're really starting to kind of lean in, work together, kind of be courageous and saying, “Hey, this isn't just my life anymore, right?”   This is our life together. And as that trust is established, this is what allows for the incredible work of vulnerability. And there's been all these studies about vulnerability over the last few years and how important it is.   What we recognize, though, is vulnerability on top of nothing is actually really risky and kind of even dangerous. It's vulnerability that's built on healthy trust where we step in and we do share some of those deeper pains in those wounds, those fears. We start to really heal some of those kind of early traumas that we experience.   It's in that vulnerability. That's what allows a couple to be truly intimate. And it's when they've worked through each of these levels, what we find is these couples, when they reach this kind of this intimacy level, they're passionate about who they are as a couple. They love kind of their relationship itself. They have a purpose to it. They have a sense that like our marriage, our relationship exists for a reason, but they're also really playful.   They're silly. They're really kind of comfortable in their own skin. And it's those five levels really working together that allows them to experience a relationship that gives life. I think one of the things we know is that when God creates, it gives life. And so, God created marriage not to burden us, right? Not to kind of, you know, not even just to get us through, you know, kind of surviving life, but actually to bring more life.   Right. And not just life within the relationship itself, but life outside of it.   Laura Dugger: (41:58 - 42:22) Oh, I love it. And you're also working with couples. I've heard you speak before about the working on offering your spouse the gift of self-awareness. And so, what could couples expect? How do you actually work with them to grow in self-awareness and recognize things like the emotional process they go through in marriage?   Joanna Raabsmith: (42:22 - 43:48) Absolutely. So, awareness. So, in our book, we obviously detail the intimacy period much more.   And that's Building True Intimacy is the name of the book. But each of those levels we just walked through have different components that go into that. And awareness is kind of like one of the most important components of that honesty foundation.   So, we have to start with awareness and we can't really build anything if there's a lack of self-awareness. And so, when we work with couples, one of the first places we start is we kind of look at the past. Are they aware of what they've been through, what those experiences are, and how those experiences have shaped them into the person that is now in the present, showing up with their spouse.   Right. And so, once I start to have that insight from my past, from those experiences, how they shape me, I can better understand my present. What are the things that I feel and why do I feel those things in particular?   Right. And then when I feel those things in a relationship, and these are typically those kind of heavier, more challenging, more painful emotions. How do I respond?   How am I showing up? Because the reality is that all of us cope with emotional pain the same way we cope with physical pain. We go into fight or flight.   That part of our brain gets triggered and we respond with these kind of destructive relational coping behaviors that then hurt my partner.   Matthew Raabsmith: (43:48 - 46:22) Yeah. Like, for example, I told you about that chaos I experienced as a kid. And so, those would always happen around conflicts.   My parents would disagree about something. There would be some type of argument about, you know, and it could be anything where we were going for dinner or what color the curtains were. Right.   But it would create this chaotic environment. So, as I got married, the thing that I didn't like the least was any type of conflict. Joanna and I would get in when I could sense us disagreeing and we are both passionate.   We have opinions and we believe things and we get into this kind of disagreement and argument. It would freak my system out. And I didn't realize that because I didn't really know my past.   I didn't know what was going on. I would just really do anything to shut it down. I get angry and I try to get loud, or I just walk away in the middle of a conversation.   As Joanna was talking, I would just leave the room and my acting out was just a further manifestation of that kind of leaving the relationship. And so, part of my healing journey was to learn about my story and recognize, oh, OK, I can see what's happening. And what's really interesting is it still happens in our life today.   I've been in recovery for 12 years. I still feel the same things. Now it's more like when my kids are getting involved.   Right. And there's energy in the room and people are online. And then I go, oh, yeah, there it is.   There's my system again. It's starting to feel unsafe. It's starting to feel alone. And I know what it wants to do. It wants to get angry, or it wants to just shut down and walk away. And what's incredible is that we've learned the ability to see where we're at but also speak directly to that.   And so, what I get to do for myself now is I get to go, “OK, I know I'm feeling unsafe and I know I'm feeling alone. And I know I want to get angry to solve it, but it won't do it. But here's the truth. The truth is that I'm safe in God's economy. I'm empowered. I have an incredible partner in my life. I've never been alone. I've always had someone there for me. And Joanna is the perfect example of that.”   And that totally changes my sense of really kind of where I am. And it changes how I show up. I tend to be much more calm.   I ask questions rather than make demands. And it's that ability to kind of see where we're at and shift. That's just been such a game changer for our family and just for our own relationship.   We still have to work on it. You know, it doesn't always look that pretty. Right.   But when we do, it's amazing how different it goes.   Laura Dugger: (46:24 - 46:44) And then I just think of the generational impacts that has when people are willing to do the work. And so, if there's a brave couple out there who wants to seek their own help and healing, can you share where they can go for help, including the Raabsmith team and all that you have to offer?   Matthew Raabsmith: (46:46 - 47:30) Yeah, you know, we would love them to connect with us because I think one of the things we recognize was having guides along the way. I mean, we had to figure a lot out ourselves, but we also had some really incredible guides, some mentors, some coaches, some therapists. And so, we always just say, hey, connect with us.   You can find us at raabsmithteam.com. We have a heart for couples who want restoration and reconciliation because that's what we're getting to live and experience. And what's cool is our whole team, they're couples who've been through this work, but who also have been professionally trained to help other couples to just continue to guide and to grow relationships so that they're thriving and they're kind of giving that life.   Joanna Raabsmith: (47:30 - 48:10) Absolutely. We also love to give out resources. And so, we have the kind of we call it the honest connection.   And so, again, if you're starting this journey or even this is for any couple who wants deeper connection, deeper intimacy, learning how to do that on a daily basis in small ways is so important. And so, we have a worksheet that couples can take and use. We're happy to provide that for them for free and kind of try this for 30 days and notice the changes that you experience in your relationship.   And so, that's a great starting point wherever you are in relationship to begin that journey of connection.   Matthew Raabsmith: (48:10 - 48:14) And you just go to raabsmithteam.com/free and that resource is all yours.   Laura Dugger: (48:15 - 48:26) Wonderful. Add links for that in the show notes for today's episode. And is this then for any couple worldwide, nationwide?   Can you work with people?   Matthew Raabsmith: (48:27 - 48:55) We have we've got couples across the world, which is really fun. It's been really neat just to see the way that God has used our work. One of the things when we first started this journey, we started getting couples calling us saying, “Hey, I don't have anybody in my area that specializes in this, that understands this journey. Can I work with you?” And so, we kind of felt a calling to say we want to make sure that we connect with people wherever they are. And so, absolutely.   If you can hear our voice, you can work with us.   Laura Dugger: (48:55 - 49:14) I love that. And just as a little bonus practical tip, you kind of mentioned being proactive to thriving in marriage. Is there any encouragement that you could share or a specific practical tip that anybody could start to incorporate if they want to take their marriage to that thriving level?   Matthew Raabsmith: (49:15 - 50:12) Yeah, I think just the ability to slow down. We have a  nine, seven and six-year-old. We own our own business, and we like life and life can get incredibly fast.   And I think what we have found is when, as I was mentioning, when I learned the ability just to slow down, even if I don't fully just know myself slowing down and checking in, just where am I at right now? Where's my heart? Right. Where do I want to be?   I think I realize that so often my values and my actions aren't aligned when I'm moving too quickly. I'm not being the person that I want to be. And we see that in so many couples. We meet so many couples and there are two really great people who have a hard time working together. They have a hard time kind of being a team.   And it's usually because they're working so fast. They don't realize they're kind of working against each other. So, slowing down, I think, is such a big thing.   Joanna Raabsmith: (50:12 - 51:18) Another piece that's, again, really easy to start right away. A lot of couples we work with, and I think probably even us when we start a relationship, was there were two individuals in a relationship, and it was kind of either me or you. And starting to understand there's this third thing between you, the relationship. There's a third almost entity that really needs care. It needs nurture. It needs you to focus on its needs from time to time.   And so, beginning to approach the day, even approach conversations with this question of like, what does our relationship need right now? And even as you're trying to make decisions, what is the way we can decide this in a way that's good for our relationship or what decision benefits our relationship rather than does it benefit you or me? Because when you get into that struggle, it can become a competition.   It can become transactional really quickly. So, starting to ask that question, starting to talk about the needs and caring for the relationship very intentionally can be a way to shift that.   Laura Dugger: (51:20 - 51:38) Thank you for sharing that. I think that leads into my last question, because you already know we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for both of you, Matthew and Joanna, what is your savvy sauce?   Matthew Raabsmith: (51:39 - 52:22) I kind of mentioned this, but I think it's the willingness to be honest. I was so willing to lie to myself and kind of really hide from other people. And I didn't even know that I was doing it.   But as I have learned to be more honest in really kind of healthy ways, right. You can dump, you can whine, you can complain, you can get angry. But truly being honest meant just looking at what I was feeling and trying to kind of figure that out and name that.   As I have learned that ability to be honest with myself and with others, it has just opened up a new world of possibilities. And it has shown me how many people care for me; how much God cares for me. So, I think that honesty is something I just want to practice more and more every day.   Joanna Raabsmith: (52:22 - 53:30) I think for me, just in my own journey and working with so many partners, that importance of being able to make empowered decisions in my life. Right. That I am really intentionally choosing the direction I'm going in life.   Realizing that instead of going into this more helpless, powerless victim stance is such a difference. And really the only thing that changes a lot of times is mindset. You don't have to overhaul your entire life.   Right. You have to add in like four hours of self-care and all of these things. But starting to shift that mindset into, wait, I have power in the decisions I make.   And one of the ways that's really important to do that is growing that self-awareness. I cannot make empowered decisions if I'm not aware of where I'm at emotionally, physically, spiritually. Right.   If I'm not aware of my needs on a regular basis. And so, slowing down to check those things in, sometimes even multiple times in the day if you're not used to that. So, you're more connected to yourself, to what you need, what you want.   So, you can start making those empowered decisions.   Laura Dugger: (53:32 - 54:00) I love that. It's just so enjoyable to host a very lively couple who's humble and you've done your work. And then you're willing to share all this overflow of goodness with all of us.   So, I think my prayer is that the Lord would richly bless you for this open-handed generosity of wisdom and your story and experience that you've shared with us and modeled for us today. So, thank you to both of you for being my guest.   Joanna Raabsmith: (54:00 - 54:03) Thank you so much. It's a joy being here.   Laura Dugger: (54:05 - 57:47) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

Sermon Series | Advent: The Arrival of Christ for an Anxious WorldTo give to our M25 Initiative, text m25 to 623.252.5085 or visit redaz.in/m25.To download our Mobile App, search Redemption Church Peoria where you download apps to your device(s).To connect with us, visit this link:  http://redaz.in/RPTo invest in our ministry financially, visit this link: https://bit.ly/3roZDAW

Sara Billiet joined Wake Up Tri-Counties to introduce the new Director of the Kewanee Public Library, David Eckert, and talk about upcoming events heading into the holiday season. The Kewanee Public Library has officially welcomed new director David Eckert, who brings three decades of library experience, including a start as a children's librarian. Library staff are encouraging community participation in several upcoming programs. Due to Baker & Taylor's closure, the library's Boundless app for ebooks will be replaced by The Palace Project soon, while Hoopla remains unaffected. Residents are invited to donate extra seeds for the library's growing seed exchange and contribute nonperishable food and hygiene items for the local food pantry—the collection runs through December 22nd. Santa visits the library on December 13th, complete with photo ops and activity kits for kids. David, the new library director, brings three decades of library experience—including a stint as a children's librarian—and even has a background in music, having played double bass professionally before joining the library world. David and his family are settling into the area, buying a house in Toulon, and are excited about the bigger yard for their two large dogs. He's looking forward to the region's Amtrak station for easy trips to Chicago and exploring local towns like the Quad Cities, Peoria, and Princeton. David hopes his innovative ideas from past roles will benefit the library community, even if he may have to start making homemade pizza.

Kitchen remodels generate far more waste than homeowners expect. Discover how a dumpster size calculator helps Peoria residents choose the right rental, avoid costly mistakes, and keep renovation projects on budget and schedule. Zap Dumpsters Peoria City: Peoria Address: 208 SW Center St Website: https://zapdumpsterspeoria.com Phone: +1 309 650 8954

Welcome back for S5E18 of Inside Cyclones Hockey!The month-long away stretch for the Cyclones has officially ended, and the Cyclones are back in action at Marathon Park this weekend. In this weeks episode, Mark Robinson gives a quick breakdown of the last series of the away stretch against Peoria, as well as some reminders about this weekends home series against St. Louis. Mario Savino, the captain of the Cyclones, joins the pod for an interview with Mark, talking hockey, leadership, and how much Mario's career has progressed here in Wausau. Finally, a brand new segment debuts on the pod this week...the alumni spotlight segment. Mark highlights two Cyclones alumni, talking about their career stats in Wausau, and where they are now in their hockey journey.Now, from the Eye of the Cyclone…Intro: (0:56-1:30)Peoria Series Recap / Housekeeping for St. Louis Series : (1:40-10:02)Mario Savino Interview: (11:08-36:44)Alumni Spotlight: (37:30-49:10)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Printable Home Schedule: https://www.wausaucyclones.com/52524-2/Purchase Single Game, Group Tickets, Founders CLub & Flex Packages Here: https://www.wausaucyclones.com/tickets-2/Don't Miss a Second of Cyclones Action this Season! Sign up for our Email Newsletter here: https://www.wausaucyclones.com/newsletter/Tender Signings & Other News: https://www.wausaucyclones.com/category/news/  Make sure you follow the Cyclones across your favorite social media @WausauCyclones  You can find Mark on Instagram and TikTok @markrobinsonsports and X @mwrsports_

Chris and Molly discuss historic Thanksgiving weekend weather and the upcoming winter storm. They also talk about their favorite Thanksgiving day foods and family traditions.

Greg and Dan talk to Elizabeth Hanley, organizer of the 29th Annual “Yule Like Peoria” event happening Friday, November 28th, beginning at 3 PM at 418 Southwest Water Street in Peoria! She explains how this long-running celebration brings the community together through Christmas entertainment, family activities, and festive fun, all while supporting the Midwest Food Bank. She shares how donating food items will automatically enter attendees into a raffle, and opens up about her college experience, what inspired her to take over leadership of this beloved Peoria tradition, and why it continues to mean so much to families across the area.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Greg and Dan talk to Tinia Martin, cast member, and Jerimiah Pinkins, Director of “A Christmas Carol” at Corn Stock Theatre in Peoria! Tinia shares insight into her character and what makes performing in this holiday classic so meaningful, while Jerimiah explains his vision for this year’s production and what audiences can expect from the cast’s energy, creativity, and storytelling. This cherished annual tradition runs December 12th, 13th (two performances), and December 14th, bringing the spirit of Dickens’ timeless story to life under the Corn Stock Theatre dome. The show also serves as a fundraiser supporting Corn Stock’s year-round programming, helping the theatre continue offering high-quality community productions and educational opportunities. For tickets and more information, visit www.cornstock.com.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Special Patreon Release: Janelle Rupp Conversations with your Teen About Sex Puberty and Identity   *DISCLAIMER* This episode contains adult themes and is not intended for little ears.   "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm." Proverbs 13:20 (NIV)   *Transcript Below*   Questions We Discuss: Perhaps one of the most asked questions by Christian singles is, "How far is too far?" How do you respond to that question? Knowing the importance of educating ourselves as adults, what is the most popular sexual behavior among teens? What are some wise and age-appropriate guidelines recommend for teaching our kids about sex and sexuality?   Janelle Rupp is a Christ-follower, wife & mom of three (in that order).  Upon graduating from Cedarville University with a Bachelor's of Science in Nursing and a Minor in Biblical Studies, she worked nine years as a Pediatric ICU nurse before transitioning into nine years of nursing education for the Empower Life Center of Peoria, Illinois. There she specialized in Sexual Health with an emphasis on Sexual-Risk Avoidance. After moving to the Atlanta, Georgia area, Janelle developed a Biblically-based, Christian & Home school curriculum entitled “Remember Whose You Are: Rooting Human Sexuality in Gospel Identity." Using an expositional study of Genesis 1-3 alongside evidence-based scientific research, the four-unit program builds on itself to establish how gospel identity determines holy & healthy & holy sexuality. With a passion for both science & Scripture, Janelle is currently teaching the curriculum at North Cobb Christian School while watching the Lord grow the program at schools nation-wide.  She can be reached at jrupp.rememberwhoseyouare@gmail.com.   Recommended website for Parents: axis.org   Thank you to our sponsor: Daisy Kings Use code SAVVY to Save!   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook, Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”   Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”   Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”   Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”   John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcript*   Music: (0:00 – 0:09)   Laura Dugger: (0:09 - 1:31) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. Today's message is not intended for little ears.   We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   Thank you to Daisy King's, a skincare brand that meets simplicity. Their tallow-based products are made with wholesome, God-given ingredients to deeply nourish, restore, and protect your skin.   There are no toxins, no fillers, just pure, effective skincare. Visit DaisyKings.com to nourish, restore, and glow.   Janelle Rupp is my guest today, and she packed so much knowledge and inspiration into this time by educating us on a healthy view of sex, sharing God's holy and awe-inspiring design of our bodies, and ways that all of this points to Him.   She also is going to include meaningful conversations to have with our children throughout the years that they're in our home. Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Janelle.   Janelle Rupp: (1:32 - 1:35) Thanks so much, Laura. I'm so glad to be with you today.   Laura Dugger: (1:35 - 1:42) Will you just get us started by telling us a little bit about your faith journey and where it's brought you to today?   Janelle Rupp: (1:43 - 4:51) Sure. I was raised in a Christian home. I remember from a young age actually being struck with the realization that God loved me so much that He sent His own son for me.   But it really was probably more in my teenage years that I realized the depth of my sin, that it was great, and that Jesus was that bridge between who God was and who I was. Also, early on in my life, I knew I wanted to be a nurse, which is actually kind of interesting because there was no one in my family who was a nurse or in healthcare. But I had watched my mom care well for others in her family who had a myriad of mental and physical health problems.   So, I do think that the compassion that God put in my heart at a young age did find its place in a healthcare setting just over time and experiences I watched her. I really felt like my dream job would be to work in preventative healthcare, specifically with teenagers. And I had a heart for girls in really tough situations like teenage pregnancy.   It's a very marginalized group of humanity. And so, after college, I ended up in the pediatric intensive care unit at Riley Children's Hospital in Indianapolis for about seven years. And during that time, I met my husband.   We got married. We had our first child. And then while pregnant with our second, we decided to move closer to my extended family back in Illinois.   And a few years after I had our second child, I actually ended up landing that dream job that I felt like the Lord had laid on my heart way back in college. And so, I started the Empower Life Center in Peoria, Illinois in 2008. And I worked there for nearly 10 years as a nurse educator, teaching parenting and newborn classes.   But my primary role was a sexual risk avoidance educator, specializing in sexually transmitted disease and infections. And I would teach in public schools and private schools and charter schools. It's a junior high and high school level and also a guest lecturer at Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois.   And I always tell people that no one grows up and hopes to be a sex teacher one day. I did not envision that God would put me in that area of education, but he did. And so, after 10 years of doing that, when our family then transitioned down to Atlanta, Georgia for a job transfer for my husband, we had chosen to put our kids, now three kids at that point, in Christian education.   And within months, the middle school principal had heard about my background and approached me to create a curriculum for their fifth through eighth graders that was centered on a biblical view of sex and sexuality. So, I spent a series of months developing that curriculum. I then decided to go ahead and accept a teaching job to teach that curriculum.   And it's entitled Remember Whose You Are. And it's designed as a four unit developmentally appropriate program for Christian schools or homeschool environments. And currently we're in the beginning stages of equipping and training other schools to implement it at their school as well.   Laura Dugger: (4:52 - 5:17) Wow, that is so interesting to hear how you got interested in teaching others this healthy view of God and sex. And at the foundation of your teaching, you begin with a theology of God. So, I'd love to zero in on just one of your points that God is a relational God.   Will you elaborate on that and share how it ties into this topic we're discussing today?   Janelle Rupp: (5:18 - 7:13) For sure. One of my goals in teaching this is just to help my students see God for who he is, fall in love with who he is. And God being relational is one of the places where I always notice that beginning to take shape.   I find evidence for that in Genesis 1:26, where it says, “and God said, let us make man in our image after our likeness.” The definition of the word relational means a desire to pursue relationship or connection with another. And before we think of God pursuing relationship with us, it's actually really critical to look at that verse and note that God is already relational within himself. So, we see evidence in that verse that he's referring to himself in a plural sense.   And when we take that alongside other areas of Scripture as well, we see God existing as Trinity, Father, Son and Spirit, three in one, indicating that God does not need humanity for relationship. He only desires humanity for relationship. And one day, actually, when I was teaching that to a group of fifth grade boys last year, I said, God does not need you, but he wants you.   One of the fifth grade boys, in all complete sincerity, said, “Aww.” And it was one of the sweetest things I had ever heard because it was this very honest verbal expression of what it felt like to know that we are wanted by the God of the universe. I tell my students, “You know, someone only wants relationship with you when they love you.”   And so, while 1 John 4:8 tells us, “that God is love.” It's pretty amazing that way back in the first chapter of Genesis, as we find God creating man and creating woman, He's still incredibly loving that He even desired to create it in the first place. So, I think God being relational is such an important aspect to the who and the why of who He is.   Laura Dugger: (7:14 - 7:28) Absolutely. And I really envision this chat being a time when parents can listen alongside their teen or their tween or whenever it's age appropriate. So, will you just give us a glimpse of what you do teach in schools?   Janelle Rupp: (7:29 - 13:04) I would be happy too. The very first unit is just the who and the why of God. We focus on 10 characteristics of God, and then we transition to the who and the why of humanity.   What do all humans have in common? And we highlight eight characteristics that we all share in common. And then unit two, it's centered on the who and the why of me.   And specifically looking at Genesis 1:27, identity means that we're made in the image of God and that we are made male and female. So, Genesis 1:27 says, “So God made man in his own image, in the image of God, he made them male and female, he created them.” So, here we really want to introduce what does it mean to be made in the image of God as a social being, emotional being, a spiritual being, an intellectual being?   But also, what does it mean to be made with this physical body, male or female? And so, we introduced the reproductive system with an emphasis on puberty and human growth and development. And within that introduction, in that unit, I do something that's historically not been done in Christian settings, which is that I am teaching both the male and the female reproductive system to both genders.   And this next sentence may sound a little odd to some of your listeners. I know my students sometimes giggle when I say it, but I see the glory of God when I study the anatomy of both the male and the female reproductive systems and the intricacies of the design in order to see how they both work perfectly together. To me, it's awe-inspiring.   And so, I believe females have every right to see and begin to grasp the design of a male reproductive system. We use really basic anatomical diagrams for that. And then males equally have every right to see and begin to understand the basics of the female reproductive system using a diagram.   And my approach to that is clinical and scientific. It's definitely from an anatomy perspective. But I also make sure to take the time to point out some of, again, the beauty of the design.   For example, females, when they are born, are born with all the eggs that they will ever, ever have in their ovaries. And this design is super perfect because it means that you and I are not going to be 70 years old and find out that we're unexpectedly pregnant. Eventually, those eggs will run out about in our mid-40s.   And I always thank God for that design. It is a good design. Another one is just the female cervix.   The female cervix doesn't reach full maturity and protection until our early to mid-20s, where it then provides this wonderful protective barrier between the external and internal anatomy of the female reproductive system. When you explain things like that, I literally watch the kids have what I call light bulb moments, where they begin to see the why behind the design. And it's so important.   They've never taken the time to look at that and to hear it. In fact, I often call the reproductive system the forgotten body system. Christian kids in particular, they will get through a whole unit on the body having never talked about the reproductive system.   And if they are, then usually they're taught just about their own gender and they're missing that overarching beauty of what God designed. So, I think it's really important to highlight that reproductive system and for both genders. But in Unit 3, we move from the foundation of just gospel identity as made in His image and male and female into then specifically human sexuality.   And we use mostly Genesis 2 as we look through this about how God designed marriage and God designed sex, which is super clear in Genesis 2:24 and says, “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and take hold of his wife and they will become one flesh.” And so, God's design for marriage and sex is clear that it's between a man and a woman. And also that that man and woman should follow the order of this verse.   First, that they leave and leaving might be dating. It might be courting. It might be pursuing a relationship.   However, we set those boundaries for our kids. And then second, that they would take hold and experience the intimacy and blessing of marriage, referencing that connection that God put Adam and Eve in through marriage. And third and last in that order, but that they become one flesh, which is referencing sex.   And so, after explaining that very good design, we transition into Genesis 3. And honestly, I love how Moses starts off the chapter here, Genesis 3, by saying, “Now the serpent.” And I always tell the kids that I hear that music in my head of dun, dun, dun. Like you just know that everything is going to change.   This good design is going to change and it's not changing for the better. And so, we start then looking at all the distortions that sin has caused within the overall topic of sex. And that means not just looking at premarital sex, but also adultery, pornography, sexting, gender identity, sexual identity.   And honestly, that list just keeps on growing every year that I teach. And so, then unit four, that last unit, is what I call the now what unit. In light of taking everything that we know now about gospel identity and human sexuality, I really encourage the kids to start really thinking about how they practically should be living in relationships with someone that they're attracted to and that they want to pursue.   And we use the entire Bible to help us answer that question. We actually end that unit with the question and answer panel discussion, using questions that the students have come up with through the course of that week. And it's always a sweet time of conversation focused on, again, gospel identity and human sexuality.   Laura Dugger: (13:06 - 13:19) Oh my goodness, that is so amazing and comprehensive. If parents are listening and they're wondering just about that diagram, what age do you recommend showing something like that? How would you respond to that question?   Janelle Rupp: (13:20 - 14:08) That's an excellent question. So, we're doing that in sixth grade. You know, it always depends on what your child's exposure and experience is, what their environment is, and their curiosity.   I think each child is so different. But in general, sixth grade would be age 11, 12, I think that's 10 to 12 for sure. But even you could probably push it as you're talking about puberty, which is where we interject it, just because it gives reference to what is a period for a girl?   Or what are the changes as a male that I'm having inside my body right now? Where's that coming from? So, I think starting as young as eight or nine to 10.   No later really than 12, I think would be really, really important.   Laura Dugger: (14:09 - 14:16) Thank you. That is helpful. I'm assuming that you're everybody's favorite teacher and that this is their favorite course to take.   Janelle Rupp: (14:17 - 14:48) We have a lot of fun. And I love when the kids buy into it. You know, sometimes I'll find that kids come in and they're a little hesitant to talk about this or they feel awkward by it.   But I think, you know, coming at it from both a clinical perspective, but also a biblical perspective, doing my best to keep them at ease and have fun as we have these conversations. Eventually, they loosen up over time. And it ends up being a really sweet time to talk about stuff that really, really matters in life.   Laura Dugger: (14:48 - 15:05) It does. And you're sharing so much truth. And it is the truth that sets us free.   And I can see where that would overcome so much confusion. So, let's even get really practical. When you're teaching these young people about sex, how do you define it?   Janelle Rupp: (15:06 - 19:12) This is such a great question. No one's ever actually asked me this. And I think it's so, so important.   The CDC definition of sex, it is very complete in its definition. It does a really good job covering what I believe are really important distinctives within that definition. And so, that definition is, quote, “Sex is defined as any part of your body and or specifically your reproductive area coming into contact with another person's body and or specifically their reproductive area.”   And one of the key points that I want to point out from this definition includes this phrase, reproductive area. I find my students have no reference for that, and even adults often don't. But simply put, the reproductive area is anything on the outside of the body that covers the reproductive system organs on the inside of the body.   So, this area actually extends from the belly button down to the genitals. A lot of times we only reference those genitals, but it actually extends belly button down to the genitals. And so, again, people are often surprised by that.   But at the same time, you know, whether it's called the reproductive area or maybe a private area, people do commonly recognize the importance of keeping that area safe and private. I often stick with that phrase, reproductive area, to reference the importance of trust when it comes to keeping things safe and private as a jumping off point to just help the kids see that a person is trustworthy if they keep you safe and if they keep things private. And again, such an important thing that we need to teach our children is that if someone pushes past what feels safe for us or pushes past areas on our body that are private, our children need to know, and we need to know those are not trustworthy people.   And furthermore, we should then give our children permission to tell someone that they do trust, hopefully us, but somebody that they do trust, somebody that keeps things safe and private about any person whose words or actions don't prove trustworthy. And as a side note, giving kids appropriate anatomical names is so important for this as well. But if you aren't using those terms and they don't understand it, we're speaking a language that they can't understand and maybe aren't able to convey.   And so, I think additionally, as children get older and you continue to reference that reproductive area as an area you keep private, I think it's super important to keep going back to theology and to Scripture. And in Genesis 1 and 2, we don't see anything having to be kept private because there was nothing that needed to be private. And in fact, the end of Genesis 2 says in verse 25, “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” My students giggle when we get to that verse because that sounds so foreign to them.   But reminding them that again, God's design was so good that there was nothing to be held back. They were fully intimately known by God and fully intimately known by each other and also without sin. But then when sin enters in Genesis 3, as Eve is tempted and enticed by the serpent, Adam is tempted, and enticed by Eve.   We see in that instant that sin changes every single thing because it causes Adam and Eve to then feel ashamed before God. They want to hide from God. It causes them to feel ashamed between each other.   They want to blame each other and it causes them to lose their sense of identity and purpose. And this is what happens to us, too, when sex and sin become entwined. It causes shame.   It causes us to hide. It makes us want to blame others. It causes us to question our identity and question our purpose.   But even though sexual sin changes the heart of man, it does not change the heart of God. And so, if our heart's desire is to love God in return for the love He's shown us, then our heart's desire should be to orient our lives around His design for our lives. And I would say even especially orienting our lives around His design for marriage and sex.   Laura Dugger: (19:13 - 19:23) Perhaps one of the most asked questions by Christian Singles is, How far is too far? So, how do you respond to that question?   Janelle Rupp: (19:24 - 25:50) Yes, I mean, this is the question that inevitably somebody's going to ask in my classes every single year. And no doubt, I mean, I think everyone has asked that question at some point or another in their lives. I certainly did.   And I was told that that was the wrong question. And I want to explain why first and then tell you how I answer it. But the reason was because when we look at Scripture in terms of holiness, which is having our heart completely for God versus idolatry, which means having our heart turned to something else, we see over and over and over in Scripture that we can't serve two masters.   We can't serve both holiness and idolatry. Matthew 6:24 is a great example. It's talking about the idolatry of money.   But it does say that whenever our heart is going after two things, we will either end up being devoted to the one and hate the other or devoted to the other and thus hate the one. And so, in other words, as we apply it to this question, we actually can't just straddle the line of both holiness and idolatry. And a lot of times that's where this heart of motivation of how far is too far is like, what line is the line that I can get to and still be holy?   But we really can't try to find and live on that line, because healthy and holy sexuality and sexual immorality doesn't exist. It is one or it is the other. And so, that's an important truth of Scripture.   I'm always in complete agreement with everything that I just said. But I also recognize that the Bible is really, really clear on how to give us direction in terms of setting boundaries and learning how to escape and endure temptation rather than to be enticed by it. And so, I teach my students a method to answer this question using an acronym called GRAY, G-R-A-Y, just to help them think biblically and critically about this question.   And actually it can be applied to any what I call the gray areas of life where Scripture may not specifically be very black and white about what we can and can't do. For example, another easy gray area topic within this same kind of umbrella idea would be dating. We aren't specifically told if we're to encourage our kids towards dating or courting or maybe arrange marriages.   Right. And yet I believe that there's four specific steps that we can use to determine the heart of God for our lives when it comes to gray areas of life. And so, the G in gray stands for go to God and it refers to prayer.   James 1:5 encourages believers to ask God for wisdom. It says, “He will give it generously to anyone who asks.” And I think praying for wisdom is such a foundational place to start on any topic, but specifically this one.   And then the R in the acronym stands for read the word. I always encourage my students and I would encourage parents as well, actively study the word of God, finding verses that give direction for decision making on this question. How far is too far?   One that I think jumped out at me is First Corinthians 10:23. As it's again, speaking of idolatry of the heart and it says, “all things are lawful, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful. I can do all things, but not all things are building up. And so, let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.”   So, when you apply that verse to this question of how far is too far, you begin to see that the question isn't so much is kissing OK, is anything done with our clothes on OK? But the question is more what behavior is helpful for me as I try to honor Christ with my body? What behavior builds up my desire to honor Christ with my life and or what behavior seeks to honor the person that I'm with?   And so, again, I think reading scripture can help us be able to know how to reframe that question and create boundaries. And then the A in gray stands for ask for advice. And here I encourage teens to seek out someone who is doing relationships well.   In other words, is there a couple that they admire, someone older than them that they admire, maybe a friend or sibling or a friend of a sibling, a teacher, a parent, a youth group leader? I found in my own life that God often gives wisdom through people like that. And actually, in the last 10 years, as I've been teaching this type of material, I found that asking couples that I respect this very same question.   How did you answer? How far is too far? It brings some of the best responses and encouragement that then I can share with my students to help them learn and grow.   So, I think asking for advice is a vital part of this. And then lastly, the Y stands for yield. It is the last step.   And yet it's such an important part of answering this question. Yield just simply means to wait. And you and I both know this generation does not like to wait.   Instinct gratification is their thing. And yet teaching them that there's so much value in yielding when we don't have clear answers to critical questions like this. So, I actually love to literally walk this out in front of the classroom.   I will demonstrate how, when I yield, I hold back on decisions such as how far is too far. I am always allowing myself room to continue to walk forward as I feel more certainty over the answer or I feel more led with the wisdom that God is continuing to give. However, if I walk forward without clarity, if I'm pushing boundaries that are perhaps lawful, I can.   But they're not to my benefit, not to my partner's benefit. Then it's very realistic that I am going to push farther than I am able to handle. It's going to bring harm to the relationship that I am in.   And I can't ever go back. The truth is that the line between being enticed by sin versus escaping and enduring the temptation to turn from sin. It's a thin line.   And so, helping teenagers with these four steps, I think just think more critically about where to set those boundaries is important. And then I do usually go on to encourage students to be really specific in writing out those boundaries. I'm a big fan that writing is remembering.   It stores in our long-term memory. And then to even share those boundaries in order to have accountability with them.   Laura Dugger: (25:51 - 27:47) And now a brief message from our sponsor. I would like to specifically address the ladies. Because let's talk skin care.   As moms, as women, we spend so much time caring for everyone else. But what about us? If you're tired of dull or dry skin and products filled with chemicals and fillers, it is time for something better.   God designed our skin to thrive with real nourishing ingredients. 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But I think this is really helpful having you share statistics.   So, what are some statistics you think we need to be aware of to educate us on sexuality and youth in America right now?   Janelle Rupp: (27:49 - 29:55) Yes, you know, this is constantly changing. And so, I do look for these on the regular. And so, the ones I'm currently kind of using as I educate this year, the average age of first pornography exposure is currently 11 years old.   And 1 out of every 10 visitors to porn sites are actually under the age of 10. And 22% of those are regular visitors to those sites. It's not that they're just there once.   They're regular visitors. When you talk about that next age group, 11 to 17-year-olds, 53% of them are accessing pornography. In addition, 1 out of every 14 are receiving sexually explicit material through social media, through texting.   And 1 out of every 17 are sending it, which is an interesting thing. I always tell my students that means that as people are receiving it, they're sending it to more than one person. And so, you know, somehow we could think that it's a conversation maybe staying between two people.   And almost in every case, that is not the reality. 41% of teens are engaging in sexual behavior and oral sex and vaginal sex and anal sex and what I call outer course. Every 11 minutes, CPS finds evidence of sexual abuse claims.   And 2 out of every 3 of those are age 12 to 17 years old. And then lastly, and this is kind of newer from a research study that is an important one, but identifying as LGBTQ+, has actually risen in teens on average by 4% in the last 5 years. Girls being higher than boys.   Girls averaging about 5% increase and boys at 3%. And I think, you know, you give those 9 quick statistics, and I'll be honest, you know, even every time I have to say them, I get that sinking feeling in my stomach. It takes a lot to shock me after 10 years of working with teens on this topic.   But it never feels good to say those out loud. I think it just reflects such brokenness on behalf of our culture's view of sex and sexuality.   Laura Dugger: (29:57 - 30:09) Wow, that is sobering. And if that reality feels alarming or overwhelming to a parent listening, then how would you advise them to educate their son or daughter?   Janelle Rupp: (30:10 - 33:09) Yeah, I think the scariest thing is when we allow those feelings that we're having to really just cripple us and our ability to parent our children through them. I had a mom come up last year, and she said, I'm just really exhausted by it all. I'm tired of checking up on my kid.   And, you know, as a mom of teenagers, I hear that. I resonate with that. But I think we need to fight through those feelings and encourage each other to fight through those feelings in order to parent with intention and godliness when it comes to these subjects.   I developed this Remember Who's You Are curriculum for students, but I 100% believe that parents are to be the first go-to for our kids on these topics, whether they feel like they have all the answers or not. It's really not the role of the school, nor of the church, nor of the youth pastor. It is primarily and foundationally the role of parents, with ideally then the school and the church, you know, locking arms with parents, coming alongside with a similar message.   And so, when it comes to equipping parents, which is something I feel strongly about as well, in order to have these ongoing conversations, I break down educating parents with three regular statements to help them kind of combat those feelings of overwhelmed or anxiousness when it comes to these topics. And the first regular statement would be to regularly educate yourself. We can't teach what we don't know.   And so, parents need to have answers to questions, and I'm going to give a series of questions here that I think need to be answered as examples, but there's certainly more. But questions like, what is God's design? Again, what is the reproductive area?   What does sexting mean? What does sending nudes mean? Because that's becoming actually a more popular phrase right now than using the phrase sexting.   Why is not porn good for our brains if it actually keeps us from not having sex outside of God's design? That's a question I've been asked. And a follow-up to that, what does the Bible say about masturbation?   How does a condom work? I've been asked that one. What is the most popular sexual behavior among teens?   Those are some toughies. You don't just kind of like pop out an answer to that without dedicating some time to researching those answers. I don't think that this needs to be an overwhelming amount of time.   In fact, I actually just encourage parents to set aside 15 to 20 minutes once a week, maybe even once every other week, but just put it on the calendar so that you really devote yourself to that time. You know, I think we dedicate ourselves as parents to things we care about. And I don't mean to say this harshly, but many moms spend much more time exercising than they do in their Bibles and figuring out answers to these questions and apologetic type answers.   And parents, you know, we spend a lot of time talking to our kids about sports and grades. And yet these are topics that have lasting relational impacts for their lives, not just in our family, but in their family to come. And so, we have to be diligent to set aside time and regularly educate ourselves.   Laura Dugger: (33:09 - 33:38) Janelle, I love all of this that you're saying. And I just want to pause on this first step of educating ourselves as the adults and as the parents. So, listening to something like this, hopefully people feel encouraged already doing a great job educating yourself.   And so, let's just answer a couple of those questions because it can be hard to know where do I go to find out these answers. I'm careful to Google this because something may pop up that I don't want to see.   Janelle Rupp: (33:38 - 33:38) Right.   Laura Dugger: (33:38 - 33:46) So, let's go with two of them. One of them you said is what is the most popular sexual behavior among teens right now?   Janelle Rupp: (33:47 - 34:46) Yeah, I think that this one is a little bit shocking for parents. And they often are unaware of where their teens are at as they are pushing boundaries on sexual behavior. You know, when I was growing up, oral sex became, and that's mouth to genitals, but that became a really popular sexual behavior.   And I remember hearing people say, well, that makes me feel a virgin because I now have not had vaginal sex. And so, again, just continuing to push these boundaries. So, now today's teenagers are past oral sex.   That's become just something that's normal and acceptable. And the most popular sexual behavior right now that you'll actually they will talk about and do would be anal sex right now, which is the anal area, which is obviously I always point this out, not actually the reproductive system, but in fact, the expiratory or the end of the digestive system. But that is the most popular sexual behavior among teens currently.   Laura Dugger: (34:47 - 35:14) That is really helpful to hear. And even years ago, when I was practicing as a marriage and family therapist, something that we learned was that the rise in pornography exposure was also corresponding or correlating with this rise in pressure for women to engage in anal sex. And that was a lot of times where it was coming from.   I'm assuming very similar with teens.   Janelle Rupp: (35:15 - 35:59) Yes, absolutely. And as our culture continues to kind of push the envelope on trying to get teenagers and adults to accept pornography is a natural part of human sexuality. I think we will just continue to see that behavior pushed more and more and more just among teens and relationships in general, which is really devastating.   I think of so many of these behaviors that are very degrading, particularly to women, but even to men. And again, that women, that girls would be thinking that that is considered an acceptable part of a relationship is such a tragedy, really. And again, just so reflective of the brokenness of our culture.   Laura Dugger: (36:00 - 36:19) And you bring up another question I want to follow up with, Ben, because porn is so destructive for a lifetime. But how do you answer that question if parents want to educate themselves of somebody making an argument of why not pornography if it keeps them from engaging in penetrative sex?   Janelle Rupp: (36:20 - 38:18) Yeah, so, there's some excellent websites that you can find that talk about the damaging effects of pornography. And I found, you know, good resources. Anyone's welcome to email me.   I'll include that later. But to get some of those resources. But it really does change and alter, actually, the connections that are created in the brain.   And one of the, I think, more interesting studies on pornography in the brain, as they looked at men who were watching and engaging in pornography, it would continually light up an area of the brain and stimulate it, which is an area of the brain that is usually lit and stimulated when a man would use power tools. And that's concerning on, I think, a couple of levels. One, that is degrading.   And again, this human made in the image of God to something that is to be just used. Right. And then second, anytime we engage in pornography, we are we're engaging more with a screen than a person.   And so, that intimacy level, that is something that's so precious about sex. You know, sex isn't just for making babies. It isn't just for this intimate connection.   It isn't just for pleasure. But it is to be wholly represented, all three of those when we look at God's design. But when we engage with pornography, we're completely reducing it down to one person's pleasure, one person's use.   And so, again, those connections that are supposed to exist between people now exist between a person and their screen. And you'll see across the board, these are people who easily get addicted. It's meant to be addicted, experience increased levels of depression, anxiety, suicide.   Grades go down for teenagers. They lose friends. So much research showing the devastating impact of pornography.   Laura Dugger: (38:19 - 38:32) That is really helpful. Thank you for sharing that. And back to that greater question. So, when you're advising parents to educate themselves, that's the first step. What's the next step in the process?   Janelle Rupp: (38:33 - 41:29) So, the second step that I recommend is to regularly to enter in. We aren't called to be our kids' best friends. We're called to step into their lives.   And that means stepping into friendships and relationships. It actually means stepping into their phone. You know, the amount of parents that tell me, I feel really bad because it's their phone.   And yet it's something that the parent is paying for, right? And so, that is a part of our lives, too. Theirs and ours.   But stepping into social media pages, their schools, their activities. And I think we don't have to be creepy about it. And that's what I think parents most, they're like, I don't want to creep my kid out or make them pull away.   I just think we have to be really intentional beforehand that we're developing this relationship of trust and communication. So, Josh McDowell has said rules without relationship equal rebellion. And so, the flip side of that is that when I have rules where I'm entering in and I have relationships where I'm entering in, that will equal trust.   And so, we need to keep entering in because we want to keep earning their trust. It goes both ways. We want that trust and communication.   So, entering in out of a desire for relationship, but also entering in with boundaries and rules for our kids in order to continue to build that trust between us. And then the third regularly statement is to regularly extend grace to yourself. Guilt and shame cannot go away without grace.   And a lot of us live with guilt and shame when it comes to these subjects. I often hear that that's one of the key reasons that parents will hesitate to talk to their child. They'll say to me, I don't want them to ask me about what I did.   And the only remedy for shame is grace. It's why God's plan to extend grace in sending Jesus. It's the best plan for our world because we're literally drowning in guilt and shame over these subjects.   And so, as parents, we first have to learn and work through accepting grace for ourselves. But for the purpose of extending it to others, it's very, very hard to extend grace when we haven't accepted it ourselves. And so, I think it starts with us.   And then again, it extends out to our kids. My husband and I were working through something that was happening with our teenagers this year. And I thought it was so profound.   As he said this statement, by God's grace, our kids will never get caught up in it. But it's also that same grace that will provide a way for our kids to get out of it. And so, we need to remember God's grace is greater than all of our sins.   And we can rest in that even if we don't do everything perfectly as a parent. Even if we forget to answer one of the questions. Even if our kids choose a path that is different than what we had taught them.   God's grace is greater than all of our sins.   Laura Dugger: (41:30 - 43:53) And I don't think we can hear that enough. So, thank you for that reminder.   Did you know that we are now accepting donations online through Venmo?   It's just one of our additional ways that you can give to support the work of the Savvy Sauce Charities and keep us on the air where we can keep providing this content for free. We pray that you'll consider partnering with us and generously donating before your end. Thanks for your support.   Well, Janelle, I think that you're so wise to teach parents that there's obviously no formula, and that's why it's so vitally important to keep in step with the spirit as we have these conversations with our children. But also, I'm sure that you've learned some wise and age-appropriate guidelines for teaching our kids about sex and sexuality.   So, will you share those with us for the different age ranges?   Janelle Rupp: (43:55 - 50:10) Yes, I think you're exactly right. There isn't a set formula because, again, as I mentioned before, every kid is different. Every experience and exposure is different.   But there are some general guidelines in order to, again, have these regular conversations with our kids. So, beginning ages kind of three to seven, I think focusing on what it means to be made in God's image, what it means to have a male part versus female part, how that kind of defines each gender. And understanding also what is private and safe within that is important.   So, one of the things that I did with my kids is very early on, as we were bathing in those ages, we would say, Thank you, God, for our fingers and our noses, and thank you, God, for our toes, and say, Thank you, God, for a penis because you're a boy, and thank you, God, for a vagina because you're a girl, and thank you for parts that we can't see inside of us. And I would name some of those parts as well, because I think it just helps them start recognizing, again, the beauty of what it means to be created by God. And also highlighting safe pictures and unsafe pictures, safe touch and unsafe touch, and stuff that I touched on before.   I think that's important as well. But then I personally believe this is one of the best ages to begin forming a framework on the sanctity of human life, that all life is created by God and for God in the image of God. And therefore, all life should be treated with dignity, respect, and love, regardless of size, regardless of gender, regardless of skin color, regardless of neediness or challenges.   It's a really natural and important tie-in to the subject at this age. And then when you get into that next age, age 8 to 10, I kind of think of it a little bit like preteen. Just continuing on with that conversation but bringing up this word puberty.   And kids always look terrified when I say that word. And I always tell them, then puberty is not a scary word. And I'm sorry that you have this vision that it is.   But puberty really is just human growth and development that make us male and make us female. And so, I think teaching our kids not to be even afraid of that word. There are parts that we need to keep private.   And yes, we don't need to talk about that with everybody. But these are not wrong or bad parts. They're parts that are created by God for God.   And God is a good God. And God is a sovereign God. And so, He created it for our good with us in mind.   And so, just continuing to engage and encourage our kids on those ideas at age 10. And then 10 to 12, and some educators would say sex should be introduced by age 10. I found that based on just, again, the exposure that my kids had, we had this type of a conversation as they headed into more age 11.   I think it for sure should be talked about before age 12. But at that point, you want to make sure you're including just a framework on what biblical sex and marriage is and what it's purposed for. Again, purpose for procreation, making babies, purpose for intimacy, even purpose for pleasure.   Listen, no 10 to 12-year-old is going to understand that part yet, which is fine because you're going to revisit it later when they're kids. This is a regular thing, right? But you want them to hear it from you.   You want them to hear it from you first so they understand that you are trustworthy. And so, they should be taught that sex is best seen in that context of marriage. One man, one woman that have left their father and mother, they've taken hold of each other in marriage.   And as a result, then a parent and actually ideally both parents, mom and dad, are able to help a child understand that framework and also recognize basic deviations outside of that framework. Not just that sex before marriage is outside, but also sex outside of marriage, the sexual and gender identity confusion. Anything that's falling outside of God's design for marriage and sex is a deviation from what he designed.   And then in that kind of 13 and older, recommendations that I make is always that you begin to establish a really good framework on how to have God-honoring relationships with someone of the opposite gender. I actually highly recommend Ephesians chapter 5 as you make this plan with your child. And a couple key points that it talks about within that chapter is that we treat those in the faith, those that share our common belief in Jesus Christ as brothers and sisters in Christ, in friendship and in a possible relationship, but one that has a lot of purpose and a plan in place.   But then we treat those who are not sharing our faith with love, but yet an understanding that those aren't relationships that I can pursue because I can't have an expectation that they are going to bring me closer to Christ, whereas the other should. And so, as parents within that, again, 13 and older category, you really need to start paying very much attention and entering in into those relationships that they have with their friends and their peers, because this is the second biggest impact maker on their decision-making next to you. Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with the wise will be wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”   I really believe in parents. If you need to change up their environment in order to help them form more God-honoring relationships in step with that Ephesians 5, we should not be afraid to do so. And again, continuing to expand on those other frameworks before, because regular conversations, but you're just getting into greater detail, more fine-tuning.   And I actually think at this age, too, you're digging deep into the truth of Scripture with your child. So, you let them come alongside you as you're learning how to answer these questions so that they can continue to refine who they are in Christ and to refine how to keep accountable with the Word of God and to refine how to set boundaries and how to navigate relationships in what I call purposeful dating versus purposeless dating. And purposeful dating, really just the overarching idea there is just that in the end, if it does end, that there may be sadness, but that there is also learning that comes so that I am lessening the brokenness and damage that may come as a result as well.   Laura Dugger: (50:11 - 50:30) And I love how also in your teaching, you lay out specific guidelines that don't fit within an age category, but they're more so for children who are at cell phone age or where they have unattended internet use. So, will you share some of those guidelines with us now, too?   Janelle Rupp: (50:31 - 54:54) Yes, for sure. You know, I always say when you introduce a cell phone to your child, especially one that has internet included with that phone, it does change a little of those guidelines that I just mentioned in that you need to increase the speed and the ages or decrease the ages, technically, in which you are discussing these things. Just because you're giving them a lot of access to things that will speak an opposite message from what you would be saying.   And so, when I encourage parents to look at a couple things as they're making the decisions about when to give a cell phone, I think you're specifically looking at does your child understand what it means to be indwelled by the Holy Spirit? And are they showing evidence of the fruits of his work in their lives? In other words, do I see evidence of the Spirit in the life of my child?   And so, that means does he or she recognize self-control? They know when they have it and they know when they don't. Do they recognize how to be a peacemaker?   Do they recognize how to be loving in what they say and what they do? Do they recognize and show faithfulness, kindness, gentleness, joy, patience, all of those fruits of the Spirit? And do they recognize and show that not just in person with someone, but even behind the screen when they don't see that person face to face?   And listen, no parent is going to say, oh, yeah, 100% of the time my kid is showing evidence of the fruits of the Spirit. But if I can honestly say yes, my child is showing that he is growing in evidence of that. And then you decide this is the age for him to have a phone.   Most educators, I'll just be super clear, most educators that work with teens, they recommend an age of anywhere from 13 to 15. But when you do give that, those same adults that work with those teens will also say the following, that a device should not be allowed in a private room or a private place. There should be a family charging place.   And we are on phones when we are around other people. And then that you should also have no phone zones for us. The dinner table is one of our very most important ones so that we are learning how to, again, continue to engage in conversation with one another without our phones, which is growing the relationship building that we want to grow.   And so, we hold to those boundaries. Understanding that an all access, unmonitored pass to the Internet does break down identity. It does work against.   And there's so much evidence to this. You know, even five years ago, I was less inclined to say hard and fast rules on the use of cell phones for teens. However, more and more and more and more, we continue to see research study after research study.   There's documentaries. Now there's reports about the dangers of the unlimited, unmonitored access to screens and how it hurts our kids emotionally, intellectually, socially, spiritually and even physically. I mean, I think of less sleep.   Right. Something that I've learned over these 10 years is that no kid stumbles into pornography with the use of their phone on purpose. So, so, so many times the first time is an accident and it happens again because that Internet use is unmonitored.   And so, here's another hard truth as well. It often also happens because someone else in the house or the family may be viewing pornography and it's in that browser history or it's in the logarithm of the device they're using. And so, understanding what drives that first use, but then the ramifications of that first look.   So, even if it's an inadvertent look, the hook to pornography is so addicting. And again, we talked about the damaging effects on our brains, our emotions and our relationship. So, I just think monitoring phones and Internet access is, yes, exhausting.   I mean, I feel it. But at the same time, the risk is so great that there's no way that we can stop while they are in our home. Because the worry and the regret of, oh, I should have done X, Y, Z, I think outweighs any type of temporary exhaustion for me in my day to have to check and monitor phone use.   Laura Dugger: (54:55 - 55:21) That's such a good point. It's going to cost us energy on one side or the other. But that is a wise choice to go with the hard choice first and hopefully more of an easier or more fruitful path.   When you reflect on our conversation so far, what hope do we all have for the gospel of grace impacting us specifically as it relates to our sexuality?   Janelle Rupp: (55:23 - 58:58) When I hear that question, I really love it. I instantly think shame is a result of sin, connecting that to the grace that is shown from our Creator and our Redeemer. And all of that, again, is really on display in Genesis 3.   And so, I want to take us there as I answer that question. I tell my students shame has two definitions. There is shame as a verb to shame someone.   And then there is shame as a noun to feel shame as a result of something that we have done wrong. Shame as a verb is something we never want to do. That's not a good thing, right?   But shame as a noun is actually a God-given gift that is meant to bring us back into relationship with God. And you look at how Adam and Eve in Genesis 3. It makes me chuckle, honestly, because as they feel the shame of their sin, their next step is to create garments to cover themselves.   And their shame was so great, but they went ahead and put these fig leaves on top of their bodies, these parts that now have to be private because of shame. And I just think to myself, those fig leaves had to have been so insufficient. We do this too, though.   We come up with ways to clothe ourselves to cover up the shame that we feel. It might be past sexual sin. It might be present sexual sin.   And we try our best to hide it. We try our best to make ourselves look presentable with our covering so that people won't see our sin and see our shame. I mean, all of that is that feeling that comes from that feeling of shame as a result of sin.   But what's beautiful when we look at Genesis 3, when Adam finally comes clean about his sin and shame. And I will say, listen, he doesn't do it perfectly because God has to literally say, where are you? Knowing where he is, but like basically saying, Adam, come out, come clean, right?   But as Adam does come clean about his sin and the shame that he's feeling, right? What does God do? God covers Adam and Eve with garments that He provides and He makes from the very first shedding of blood that we see recorded in Scripture.   And I'm doing it now. I weep every single time that I talk about this part, because God knows how to deal with shame so much better than we do. He knows how to deal with our shame in a way and cover us in a way that is a once for always.   And it's Genesis 3 is just a beautiful foreshadowing of how Christ is going to be sent. And there he comes in Matthew, right? To cover shame forever.   And so, as we remember that Jesus spilled his blood on a cross and then resurrected, conquering death and sin and the grave. We also get covered by that blood so that we no longer have to hide. We no longer have to feel that shame.   And we can stand, Romans 8 says, without condemnation. “Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ,” because Christ has covered us with garments completely and perfectly for forever. And so, our hope in this for our own sin, our past sin, any present sin, any future sin, and our hope for any sin that may rise up out of the heart of our child.   It's in the gospel that the gracious and loving covering that God gives us through Jesus is complete, making us right before God for all time.   Laura Dugger: (58:58 - 1:00:05) I love that so much, Janelle. And it makes me think of, I can't remember the research study, but they tracked people's brains when they were feeling like shame or regret or guilt. And found that sometimes people who struggle with anxious thoughts, that they have an over-functioning part of their brain where they can have those feelings of shame, sometimes when they haven't done anything shameful.   So, there's almost like a real guilt or a false guilt. And all of this conversation brings me to 2 Corinthians 7:10, where God addressed that first, because in the Bible it says, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” And so, if we're going like even a level deeper to tease out that shame, sometimes we've felt that before.   Maybe, let's say, if something was done to us, and that's not the same shame that requires repentance, which is the godly sorrow. So, does that make sense?   Janelle Rupp: (1:00:05 - 1:00:28) Yes, exactly. That's exactly my point. And getting the kids to understand the difference between those shames but then seeing shame as not something that I have to push against.   Because if it is that godly shame that comes after me making a wrong choice, that is that shame to bring me closer to God in and through repentance. And again, that's a beautiful thing.   Laura Dugger: (1:00:29 - 1:00:39) It is, and it leads to freedom, which we may not think of in the moment, but that confession and bringing something to the light, that that is the best way to live.   Janelle Rupp: (1:00:39 - 1:00:40) Exactly.   Laura Dugger: (1:00:40 - 1:00:48) Are there any other important takeaways that you want parents and their children to be aware of as it applies to sex and sexuality?   Janelle Rupp: (1:00:49 - 1:02:44) Yes, you know, I think of two things here. The first being that, you know, sexual sin is really just one of many sins that Christ covers that he died for. You know, the blood of Christ covers the adulterer just as much as it covers the gossiper.   It covers the pregnant teenager and her boyfriend just as much as it covers you and I. And I think in the past, the church has overemphasized this sin and underemphasized others. But yet on the flip side, I mean, I think we really can't deny these are sins.   And even when we look at Scripture, it doesn't deny this. These are sins that carry a greater consequence and potential for enticing us towards, again, more habitual, ongoing sin in ways that just affect us deeper than other sins, which is why 1 Corinthians 6:18 says “Flee from sexual immorality.” And I'm going to pause there for just a second, because the Greek word for sexual immorality is the word pornea.   And you and I can't hear the word pornea without immediately thinking of porn. And so, I think it's fascinating that the root word for pornography is literally translated as sexual immorality. It's really an important thing.   But 1 Corinthians 6:18, again, it starts saying “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside of the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” And this means that sexual sin at its root is a problem of identity, which is, again, why you have to link that human sexuality with gospel identity.   Our aim cannot be for our children to make it to marriage having never had sex or never getting pregnant. To me, that's a low fruit. That is a low aim.   Our aim needs to be raising children with a gospel identity that is rooted in the creative and redemptive work of Jesus Christ and seeing the outgrowth from there.   Laura Dugger: (1:02:44 - 1:02:56) Wow. Well said. And if we boil all of this down, what is just one action step that you first recommend for anyone who finishes this message today?   Janelle Rupp: (1:02:57 - 1:04:19) Yeah, I'm going to give you a three-in-one just tying back to those three key regularly statements. One of the primary resources that I love to recommend in terms of educating ourselves is for parents to go to axis.org. That is A-X-I-S dot org, and sign up to receive their free Culture Translator weekly newsletter. And that will be sent to your email on a weekly basis for free.   And it gives a whole rundown of what's been happening in teen culture for that week. And just by simply opening up your email, you're going to start educating yourself. And they also have a host of other excellent resources and podcasts and a ton of material on their website that I would recommend.   But that's just one little step. And then for the enter in, I would recommend scheduling a date now. Put it on your calendar.   Find a time to take your child on a shopping date, an ice cream date, so that you can begin to enter into their lives and keep building that relationship with them. And then lastly, between now and that date, just open up God's Word. Reflect on the grace of God.   Let it wash over your heart. Let it wash over your mind. Get engaged with worship.   All of those will equip you well to do that hard work of entering in with your child when you meet them for that date.   Laura Dugger: (1:04:20 - 1:04:29) I've loved this chat so much. And if anybody's wondering about

Sermon Series | ParablesTo give to our M25 Initiative, text m25 to 623.252.5085 or visit redaz.in/m25.To download our Mobile App, search Redemption Church Peoria where you download apps to your device(s).To connect with us, visit this link:  http://redaz.in/RPTo invest in our ministry financially, visit this link: https://bit.ly/3roZDAW

Greg and Dan talk to Chris Setti of the Greater Peoria Economic Development Council about the annual Peoria Chamber of Commerce Thanksgiving Luncheon held on November 20th. They reflect on why this event means so much to the business and community leaders who attend — a rare chance for everyone to come together, reconnect, and celebrate gratitude across the region. They also highlight how meaningful human-to-human connection is in business, community building, and everyday communication, and why events like this help strengthen those relationships.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Greg and Dan talk to Charlie Berens about his upcoming stop in Peoria for “The Lost and Found Tour” on January 25th at the Prairie Home Alliance Theater inside the Peoria Civic Center! Charlie Berens is a comedian, writer, host, and creator of the wildly popular “Manitowoc Minute,” known for his hilarious Midwestern humor and viral sketch comedy. Tickets and more information: www.ticketmaster.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A look at the week in Central Illinois and across the world from Peoria's breaking news station, 1470 and 100.3 WMBD for the week of 11/16 - 11/22.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Revelation’s 7 Seals: “Keeping Our Faith & Sanity,” Concluded Hebrews 13:8-16 New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition 8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. 9 Do not be carried away by all kinds of strange teachings, for it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace, not by regulations […]

Chris, Molly, and Nathan look back at the Washington tornado on its 12 year anniversary. They also look at the big pattern change arriving around thanksgiving that will bring winter like temperatures and maybe some snow to Central Illinois.

Greg and Dan talk to David Farino about the upcoming Big Picture Peoria Film Festival, happening Thursday, November 20 through Saturday, November 22, 2025, at the Giant Screen Theater inside the Peoria Riverfront Museum! David shares details about his feature film “Wardcliffe,” including the inspiration behind the story and the creative process that brought it to life. They also highlight the festival’s renewed mission to bring independent filmmakers back to Peoria and shine a spotlight on intimate, meaningful, smaller-scale storytelling. More information: www.bigpicturepeoriafilm.com Tickets available at the door!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome back for S5E17 of Inside Cyclones Hockey!The latter half of the longest road stretch of hockey for the Cyclones this season is coming to a close! The last consecutive weekend of away hockey is this weekend, as the Cyclones travel to Peoria to face the Mustangs. Then, the following weekend, the Cyclones are back at Marathon Park for the first time in over a month for home hockey. In this weeks episode, Mark Robinson previews the Peoria series, and also goes over a handful of stat leaders in respective areas, for both skaters and goalies. And, speaking of stat leaders, Jackson Schroeder leads the Cyclones in goals, assists, and points...how fitting that he's our player interview of the week! Mark and Jackson talk all things Cyclones hockey, and what his goals are as a player for the future.Now, from the Eye of the Cyclone…Intro: (0:54-1:26)Peoria Series Preview: (1:34-10:54)Jackson Schroeder Interview: (12:02-37:20)Stat Leaders on the Cyclones: (35:04-47:20)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Printable Home Schedule: https://www.wausaucyclones.com/52524-2/Purchase Single Game, Group Tickets, Founders CLub & Flex Packages Here: https://www.wausaucyclones.com/tickets-2/Don't Miss a Second of Cyclones Action this Season! Sign up for our Email Newsletter here: https://www.wausaucyclones.com/newsletter/Tender Signings & Other News: https://www.wausaucyclones.com/category/news/  Make sure you follow the Cyclones across your favorite social media @WausauCyclones  You can find Mark on Instagram and TikTok @markrobinsonsports and X @mwrsports_

The views and opinions expressed on this podcast are for entertainment and informational purposes only. They do not constitute legal, financial, or professional advice. Any characters, stories, or references to public figures are presented in a satirical or opinion-based context. Listeners are encouraged to do their own research and consult with qualified professionals before making decisions based on the content. The hosts and guests disclaim any liability for actions taken or not taken based on what is discussed.In this episode Gil gives Jonathan Velasquez his flowers as his childhood friend nears the end of his long battle with cancer. Gil and Jezuz once again talk about the kickbacks at Rafi Law Group and the other shenanigans that happen almost on a daily basis. (Allegedly) Gil touches on the list of providers that are giving kickbacks to Rafi and the list is long. Gil calls out the endorsers that support this law firm and questions why they sell out for money. Brandon Rafi is invited to once again join the podcast and tell his side of the story. Stay tuned for more.

Greg and Dan talk to Leslie Rothan, President of PAAR (Peoria Area Association of Realtors), about the trends and insights they’ve seen throughout the third quarter. Leslie explains how they are beginning to see the market pendulum shift, and how PAAR stays tuned in to national, state, and especially local housing patterns. She also talks about evaluating Peoria’s citywide needs and how those needs are shaping PAAR’s latest initiatives and developments to better support the community and real estate professionals. For more information, visit www.309mls.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sermon Series | ParablesTo give to our M25 Initiative, text m25 to 623.252.5085 or visit redaz.in/m25.To download our Mobile App, search Redemption Church Peoria where you download apps to your device(s).To connect with us, visit this link:  http://redaz.in/RPTo invest in our ministry financially, visit this link: https://bit.ly/3roZDAW

Revelation’s 7 Seals: “Keeping Our Faith & Our Sanity,” pt 8 John 17:20-26 New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition 20 “I ask not only on behalf of these but also on behalf of those who believe in me through their word, 21 that they may all be one. As you, Father, are in me and […]

Chris, Molly, and Nathan discuss our bold winter predictions for the upcoming winter season.

Al & Val attend Sage Academy and even their best friendship can't save them from the hijinx that ensue! Upside Down Magic (July 31, 2020)IMDB WikipediaDirected by Joe Nussbaum (Sleepover, Sydney White, Just Add Magic, Gabby Duran & the Unsittables)Written by Nick Pustay (Ramona & Beezus - this was his last writing credit), Josh A. Cagan (The Duff, Kim Possible movie, Spin, Under Wraps 2, Zombies 4), Sarah Mlynowski (wrote the novel)Starring: Izabela Rose as Elinor "Nory" Boxwood-Horace (Secrets of Sulfur Springs, The Curious Case of Dolphin Bay)Siena Agudong as Reina Carvajal (Nicky, Ricky, Dicky & Dawn, Star Falls, No Good Nick, Resident Evil)Kyle Howard as Budd Skriff (Love Boat: The Next Wave, Grosse Point, Orange County, Run of the House, The Drew Carey Show, My Boys, Royal Pains, Me)Elie Samouhi as Elliot Cohen (Bizardvark, Team Kaylie)Alison Fernandez as Pepper Paloma (Law & Order SVU, Orange is the New Black, Once Upon a Time, Team Kaylie)Max Torina as Andres Padillo (Raven's Home)Vicki Lewis as Linda Knightslinger (character & voice actor - Den Brother, NewsRadio, Three Sisters, Finding Nemo & Finding Dory, Betsy's Kindergarten Adventures)Yasmeen Fletcher as Chandra (Ms. Marvel)Callum Seagram Airlie as Phillip (When Calls the Heart)Cynthia Kaye McWilliams as Professor Argon (character - The Lake House, Real Husbands of Hollywood, Prince of Peoria, Bosch, What If…?)Synopsis: Nory, who can transform into unusual hybrid animals, is placed in the Upside-Down Magic program as she is a prime target for an evil force called the Shadow Magic.Fun Facts: Based on a novel of the same nameNext Movie: SpinCreators & Guests Allie Ring - Host Val Agnew - Host ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Sermon Series | ParablesTo give to our M25 Initiative, text m25 to 623.252.5085 or visit redaz.in/m25.To download our Mobile App, search Redemption Church Peoria where you download apps to your device(s).To connect with us, visit this link:  http://redaz.in/RPTo invest in our ministry financially, visit this link: https://bit.ly/3roZDAW

The Montini defense needed a little while to dig in and find its footing against a high-scoring Peoria Notre Dame offense. The Broncos offense, on the other hand, needed no such thing in a 47-17 Class 4A victory Saturday in Peoria.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/friday-night-drive--3534096/support.

The day starts under a gray sky and a loud pavilion, and somehow that flimsy roof becomes a philosophy. We kick off by turning “you can't corner me, I'm in a pavilion” into a whole worldview about space, safety, and the strange etiquette of public shelters. From there, the story jumps to Peoria's Jukebox Comedy Club, where a broken chair and a grumpy Richard Pryor portrait spark a set built on pure presence. It's a reminder that the best bits often arrive when you stop trying to force them and just play with what's in front of you.The hang after the show takes an unexpected turn—less green room, more real-world delight. We meet a tower tech who laughs like a friend you didn't know you missed, and two women deep into bowls, gongs, and something called access bars. Cue a spirited debate about consent in energy work, what it means to “invite” someone's hands into your aura, and whether 32 points on your head can actually calm a touring brain. I poke fun, sure, but the curiosity is real. If meditation won't stick, maybe ritual will: a stretch while brushing your teeth, ten sincere “I love yous,” and careful breathwork that wakes your body without turning your ears into airline headphones.Road life is equal parts exhaustion and ingenuity. We trade airport nap shame stories, the mortifying wake-up stretch under fluorescent lights, and my favorite hack: poor first class—claiming four empty seats and going fully horizontal. Shoes off? Usually. Reno taught me the art of the 70-cent refill and how far a coffee cup can go before it becomes performance art. Through it all, gratitude breaks through the haze: love for the craft, joy in meeting people who aren't comics, and a full-heart salute to Nikki Glaser hosting Saturday Night Live. Watching a mentor win makes the miles worth it.Hit play for a mix of stand-up chaos, travel truths, and a few heartfelt moments that sneak up on you. If you laughed, learned, or just felt seen, tap follow, share it with a friend, and drop a review—tell me your best airport or “poor first class” trick so we can all travel smarter next time.Support the showhttps://www.patreon.com/c/DiscombobulatedwithBobbyJaycox

Revelation’s 7 Seals: “Without Losing Our Faith or Sanity,” pt 9 Matthew 5:43-48 New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44 But I say to you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that […]

An actor, who is also a Peoria-based food influencer, joins the program today to discuss his content.  The 21st Show is Illinois' statewide weekday public radio talk show, connecting Illinois and bringing you the news, culture, and stories that matter to the 21st state. Have thoughts on the show or one of our episodes, or want to share an idea for something we should talk about? Send us an email: talk@21stshow.org. If you'd like to have your say as we're planning conversations, join our texting group! Just send the word "TALK" to (217) 803-0730. Subscribe to our podcast and hear our latest conversations.   Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6PT6pb0 Find past segments, links to our social media and more at our website: 21stshow.org.

Meteorologists Nathan Kitchens and Molly Naslund sit down to talk October and November as we continue through the fall season

The new Rumps & Bumps jersey just dropped! Check out afterpartyinc.com. We are live from the HQ the Lounge on Cincy Nasty Street! GDollaSign joins us as he brings some of his bartenders on and we ask them some tuff horny questions and we find out which one of them is the most toxic. Follow us on social media @AaronScenesAfterParty

Sermon Series | ParablesTo give to our M25 Initiative, text m25 to 623.252.5085 or visit redaz.in/m25.To download our Mobile App, search Redemption Church Peoria where you download apps to your device(s).To connect with us, visit this link:  http://redaz.in/RPTo invest in our ministry financially, visit this link: https://bit.ly/3roZDAW

Dr. David J. Peter joins this episode of The Concordia Publishing House Podcast to discuss the 2025 Advent series, Every Heart Prepare, which he authored in partnership with CPH. Order your church's Advent materials at cph.org/advent. Show NotesWe do so much to prepare for Christmas. One way we prepare is by decorating our homes, yards, and churches with evergreens, lights, the crèche, and presents. This season, reflect upon these common Christmas decorations and how they help us see Christ and prepare for His coming with this Advent and Christmas series.Dr. David J. Peter discusses Every Heart Prepare, the all-inclusive Advent preaching and worship series that features sermons and sermon notes, Bible studies, children's messages, a children's Christmas service, and more. He talks about what first inspired him to write about common Christmas decorations and how they relate to Advent, advice he would give pastors for using these materials in their congregations, and what part of this series was most meaningful to him. Dr. Peter is also the author of Organizing for Ministry and Mission: Options for Church Structure (CPH, 2023). QuestionsWhat first inspired you to connect common Christmas decorations with themes of Advent preparation?Why should pastors use this series for their congregation?What advice would you give pastors on adapting or customizing these materials for their specific congregational setting?The evergreen tree has long symbolized eternal life. How does your sermon connect that symbol to Christ's coming?Light is such a powerful biblical image. How does the “Lights” sermon draw people into the message of Jesus as the Light of the World?The crèche—often a quiet, simple decoration—has deep theological meaning. How do you help congregations rediscover its significance?On Christmas, the focus turns to wrapped presents. How do you use the imagery of gifts to reveal the meaning of God's greatest gift, Jesus Christ?What part of this series was most meaningful for you personally, and why?About the GuestDr. David J. Peter has served as a professor of practical theology and the dean of faculty at Concordia Seminary, St. Louis, where he has regularly led courses for practicing pastors. His areas of expertise include pastoral ministry and researching congregational dynamics. Dr. Peter has also gained many insights from students about the realities of administration and leadership in congregations throughout his years of preaching and instructing. Before joining the Seminary, Dr. Peter served as a visiting instructor of theology at Concordia University in Nebraska, Seward from 1987 to 1988. He also served as associate pastor at Trinity Evangelical Lutheran Church in Peoria, Illinois, from 1988 to 1995 and then as senior pastor from 1995 to 1998. Dr. Peter received his Master of Divinity (M.Div.) from Concordia Seminary, his Bachelor of Arts (B.A.) from the University of Nebraska, Lincoln., and a Doctor of Ministry (D.Min.) from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School in Deerfield, Illinois.

While the Marengo Indians took advantage of some opportunities, particularly in the second quarter, turning the ball over five times was just too much to overcome in their 35-21 loss to Peoria Notre Dame in the Class 4A first-round matchup.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/friday-night-drive--3534096/support.

Revelation’s 7 Seals: “Keeping Our Faith & Sanilty,” pt 6 Matthew 24:36-42 New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition 36 “But about that day and hour no one knows, neither the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. 37 For as the days of Noah were, so will be the coming of the […]

On Wednesday, after more than 11 hours of deliberation, a Peoria jury found former Sangamon County sheriff's deputy Sean Grayson guilty of second-degree murder in the killing of Sonya Massey in her home near Springfield last year. The jury, however, acquitted Grayson on the more serious charge of first-degree murder — which could have resulted in a lifetime prison sentence. We'll talk with a reporter who covered the trial.

Founded in 1968, Red Lobster once had more than 600 locations across the U.S., Canada, and overseas franchises. But last year, the $2 billion revenue company went into bankruptcy, reorganized, and came out with new ownership and new leadership. The company has sought to revamp operations, make changes to its menu, and close a few locations. According to USA Today, five Illinois Red Lobsters have closed — including in Bourbonnais, Danville, and Peoria.  All these changes are being led by the company's 36-year-old CEO: Damola Adamolekun. Born in Nigeria, Adamolekun immigrated to the U.S. when he was nine years old. His father was a neurosurgeon — and moved his family to Springfield, Illinois, in the late 1990's. And that is where Damola says he had his first experience of Red Lobster.

On this week's episode of Out and About, Dr. Mae Gilliland of ArtsPartners of Central Illinois chats with Maestro George Stelluto of the Peoria Symphony Orchestra about their upcoming concert Handel at the Cathedral.

Stoopkid Crew! Welcome back to the stoop! Season 10 Episode 7!Thank you for joining me on the stoop once again and to my new Stoopkids welcome!Big Shoutout to Quill, Fallon, Eli and Ruby who came to see me in Peoria and Birmingham! If you are in any of my upcoming cities (Schenectady, Buffalo, Syracuse, Baltimore,Pittsburgh), please let me know because I would love to meet you all.Nathaniel's had it with school. It's hard, it's boring, and he's just not feeling it. So, he comes up with a plan: skip school for one day. But when his “day off” doesn't go as planned and a surprise run-in with Uncle Danny leads to some real talk, Nathaniel learns that even tough days can teach us something important.Want some Stoopkids merch for the holidays? Click Here!Support the show

Special Patreon Release: Teaching our Children about Finances with Markie Castle   1 Timothy 6:6-10 (NIV) "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."   *Transcription Below*   Markie Castle is a wife of 41 years, mother of 3 and is blessed with 7 grandchildren. After teaching at ICC for 20 years, she retired to help take care of all those blessings! Her husband Bob and she have been living in Peoria and attending Bethany Baptist Church for 24 years.  She has been coaching on finances and families for over 30 years.   Questions and Topics We Discuss: What is one key to managing our personal relationship with finances? What have been the most unexpected benefits of coaching your sons on wise financial stewardship? How did you teach your children to allocate percentages their money?   Thank You to Our Sponsors: WinShape Marriage   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook, Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”   Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”   Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”   Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”   John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:09)   Laura Dugger: (0:10 - 1:20) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   I'm thrilled to introduce you to our sponsor, WinShape Marriage. Their weekend marriage retreats will strengthen your marriage while you enjoy the gorgeous setting, delicious food, and quality time with your spouse. To find out more, visit them online at winshapemarriage.org/savvy.   I first met Markie Castle through a local mom's group that was gathering at a church, and she was the speaker.   I was drawn to her sense of humor, her storytelling, and her wise practices. Her practical applications that she's going to explain near the end of this episode are practices that my husband Mark and I plan to implement beginning today. I'm so excited to share all of that with each of us listening now.   Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Markie.   Markie Castle: (1:21 - 1:22) It's a pleasure to be here.   Laura Dugger: (1:22 - 1:34) Well, will you just start us off by sharing more about your family and, specifically, the parenting piece that you say you got right by intentionally focusing on it?   Markie Castle: (1:35 - 4:13) I'd love to. I am incredibly blessed to be married to my husband, Bob, and we had three children that blessed us with wonderful wives and grandchildren. My husband and I started our marriage with him in school and me on a beginning teaching salary.   Today's dollars, it would be worth about $38,000. The two of us were living on $38,000 a year with him in school at the U of I and paying significant tuition. We were paying the tuition as well as supporting ourselves on that salary.   We were blessed to have a son three years later and then another son two years after that. My husband was holding a two-year-old and a two-week-old in his cap and gown. I remember showing our three sons' pictures of us saying, don't do this.   We supported ourselves entirely. We also did not see that we were in dire straits. We made my salary work by living in small apartments.   With one landlord, we made an agreement with him that we would do extra work around the property for a deduction in rent. We just made it work. We never saw any of this as a negative.   We also did not see that putting purchases on a credit card that we could not pay off at the end of the month as an option. We were happy where we were at and we loved it. My husband got a job and we moved out of the area.   We were at the time in Champaign-Urbana area. We moved to the Peoria area. We had a third son, which gave us three children in four years.   We still saw the need to keep our budget under control. Our meals were determined by what was on sale, what we had coupons for. Clothes were only bought on sale or from consignment shops.   Again, we never saw credit card debt as an option. If we didn't have the money, we didn't buy it. We wanted to raise our children to have a respect for money and to have an awareness of contentment.   We also wanted to have them experience the joy of having money to give away. This is what helped us. This is how we felt and we wanted to share that with our sons.   Laura Dugger: (4:14 - 4:37) I love that and I can just imagine all of the character building that comes out of really seeking to be wise stewards of what the Lord's entrusted to you. I'm wondering if you had some guiding scriptures on this topic of finances that really gave you insight into godly wisdom rather than the worldly kind.   Markie Castle: (4:38 - 9:05) As we know, besides love, money is written more in the Bible than anything else. It is so wise to go to the Bible for this. Luke 14:28 is such a good verse for a base.   It says, “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won't you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?” This is stating that we should budget our money and plan before we build a tower or buy a car or even buy a new blouse that you may want.   Another verse, 1Timothy 6:6-10 speaks to another extremely important part of leading a God-centered life, being content. It states, “But godliness with contentment is great gain for we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. Some people eager for money have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”   It reminds us of where our minds should be. We have heard many talks on finances, budgeting, etc. Very little time, if any, is spent on being content.   Even in the Christian financial counseling speakers, they do not spend time on this. Not only is it scriptural, it is something that makes budgeting and spending so much easier. If you are content, you don't feel that need to spend and let alone overspend.   It just makes budgeting so much easier. Matthew 6:24 is very blunt to the point. It says, “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.”   It's not just what you have in your bank account. It's are we serving the Lord or are we serving money by needing a bigger house or whatever. Serving money over God can mean so many things. It can mean making secret purchases that you are hiding from your spouse.   I had a friend who used to have her sister buy her shoes that she wanted. And then she would bring them into the house without her husband knowing. But she had her sister buy it so her husband didn't see it on the credit card.   Or it can mean buying a brand-new car you can't afford and you go into debt for it. There is scripture that addresses this also in Romans 13:8 states, “Owe no one anything except to love each other.” And Proverbs 22:7 states, “The borrower is the slave of the lender.”   This is not to say a person should never have a loan. We needed a loan for our house. It was a smart move because we would have just paid rent forever.   But we needed a house and at the time we didn't have money for a house. Especially since my husband just got out of school. But when we were going looking at houses, the realtor said, “But you can afford this.”   And it was a much bigger house than we needed. And we said, “No, we don't need this.” “Yes, but you can get this.”   “Yes, I know, but this one's just fine.” We bought a house that we were able to pay off quickly. And we were very happy with it.   Laura Dugger: (9:07 - 9:30) I love hearing how you've applied scripture to your own lives, because really the ones that you shared, those are so practical and actionable. And we didn't even scratch the surface of all, like you said, that the Bible has to speak about money. But if you kind of had to boil it down, what would you say is one key to managing our personal relationship with finances?   Markie Castle: (9:30 - 13:58) I truly, truly believe that being content is truly key. It's so easy to become frustrated and discouraged with what you have. And many, many people watch HGTV.   And I personally love it. There are times that I cannot watch HGTV because I start wanting this or wanting that. When I watch it, it makes me start thinking if I only had a bigger kitchen or buying new furniture would transform this room.   All of these things can distract us into thinking about all the things I don't have, rather than seeing the things I do have. It can be a very dark road. But there's ways of overcoming that too.   I love for people to write down things that you do have, especially the important things like your family, your friends, your church community. Those are the things that are far more important than a bigger kitchen. I know for me, our house, when I moved into our house, I didn't even see our house when we purchased it because we thought we'd only be here three to four years max.   So, I figured three to four years, I don't need to see a house. I wanted it in a certain area and I needed four bedrooms for all of us. And that was about it.   Well, I knew I'd be here three to four years. And I think we're coming up to 25 years in August of being here. God had other plans for us.   And that was it. The kitchen is not what I would have chosen. It's rather small.   And do you know when I get most frustrated is when our family is over and we have 20 people and they're all in the kitchen. And I've got all these grandkids running around getting in the way. And I get frustrated over the smaller kitchen.   Think about it. I have my family here making memories. It's wonderful.   I'll take a small kitchen with all my family before I take a big kitchen without them. It was interesting. I taught at ICC.   And I walked into class one time and all the students were talking about how little they had, how poor they were. And I just listened to them for a while. And they were saying they didn't have any money.   And I said, “I don't mean to brag, but I am really, really wealthy.” And they looked and they said, “Really?” And I said, “Yeah, really wealthy.”   And he said, “Must be nice.” I said, “Yeah, it really is.” I said, “Do you realize that my husband and I, we have two cars?”   And they kind of looked at me and they said, “Yeah.” I said, “No, no, no, no. Do you understand that when I walk into my house, I have heat in the winter?   And, and air conditioning in the summer.” And they kind of looked at me and go, “Yeah.” And I said, “And I can go to this faucet and I can turn this handle and fresh water comes out.”   They all looked and said, “Yeah.” And I said, “That is how wealthy I am.” And they all kind of looked and they said, “We get it.”   And we are very wealthy in this country. We are very wealthy. See, having what you have could be seen as extremely wealthy in many countries.   Even when it's their norm. But with war-torn countries, it's even worse. It's just all about perspective.   Laura Dugger: (13:58 - 14:10) Well, I think you're highlighting the keys to contentment. It's all about perspective and also gratitude. How would you define stewardship?   Markie Castle: (14:11 - 14:19) I would just say it's taking great care of what God has given us and using it for his glory.   Laura Dugger: (14:19 - 14:27) Well, and what has been the most unexpected benefit of coaching your sons on wise financial stewardship?   Markie Castle: (14:28 - 17:52) That is such a great question. I would say the independence that they had as teenagers and adults. It was incredible to see how they were independent with money and other ways because of it.   Each son also married women who were financially aware. We never really talked about that. When our children got married, we had one stipulation that they married a believer for us to bless the marriage.   But it was amazing that they all married women who were financially conservative. We have never had any trouble or issues with any of our children with money. I know that some people will say, you never lend relatives money, you give it to them because you know you'll never get it back.   Well, we have lent our kids money for certain predicaments when they first started off and they started paying us back immediately. There's a lot of talk about whether you should let your children move back into your house. Now, I know people have said, “Nope, once my kids are gone, they're gone.”   And I don't think that's very loving. I think that anybody is allowed back, you know, if they need to come back and live with us, even if it's somebody in our church family, they would be welcomed. All three of our boys at some point came back to live with us for a while for different reasons.   And we actually charged them rent. And they were very good with that. In fact, they liked it because then they weren't freeloading.   Now, they didn't know it at the time, but we took their rent and put it away and kept it separately. And then when they moved out, they had a nice little sum there that they could use for a down payment for their house or for moving costs or whatever. I think it's important to watch your children grow, to give them.   And these are the things that we have seen that we didn't expect. All of our boys are very financially secure. And they only have mortgage debt, which they are all paying off quicker than what was scheduled.   And this is just a mindset. They are not suffering because they don't have the new car. In fact, our one son and his wife, they bought our old van 10 years ago, and they still have it.   They're at 195,000 miles on the car. Now, I think she wears this like a badge of honor. She's going to make it to 200,000.   They have been putting money away for a new car. They have enough money to buy a new car, but they're going to wait until they need it. And when they need it, they're going to be able to go in and say, here is the money for the car.   I don't need a loan. Those are the things that kind of surprised me.   Laura Dugger: (17:53 - 17:58) I think oftentimes there's a lot of joy when we have limits.   Markie Castle: (17:59 - 18:04) Exactly. I agree with you. It does give you joy to know that you have that freedom.   Laura Dugger: (18:06 - 18:22) Well, and we've spoken kind of about big picture, and I'd love to move in the funnel now down to actionable and practical. So, when you look back, how old were your children when you and Bob began training them on finances?   Markie Castle: (18:24 - 19:08) Truly, as soon as our children understood the meaning of money, we started. We started our oldest son when he was five years old by giving him allowance. The others started when they were four because they saw what was happening with the older child.   And I know a lot of people relate to this and they wanted to be a part of it. You know, your younger ones sometimes learn faster because of the older ones. It was important to start when they were wanting things at the stores, whether it was toys or candy at the checkout aisle, etc.   They needed an awareness that everything costs money and they couldn't have everything.   Laura Dugger: (19:09 - 19:32) Well, and I remember you coming to speak to our mom's group one time. And even if somebody is wondering, well, how do I keep this fair between children? You even had a solution for that because with your kids at the different ages, I remember you saying you started them with one dollar per year old they were per week.   So, the four-year-old only made four dollars for the five-year-old made five.   Markie Castle: (19:33 - 21:21) That's right. Well, and it's funny you say about the fairness. Even when our children, so we had three boys, they were all two years apart, so they were really involved with one another.   They were great friends. But I remember going to my husband's mom was watching our children when we ran to get something to do a few errands. And we came back with a pair of shoes that our oldest child needed.   And she looked at us and said she didn't get anything for the other boys. And I said, but they didn't need new shoes and they don't need anything. And she goes, but you can't bring something in for one child without bringing in something for the others.   And I reiterated, but they didn't need anything. And do you know what? Our boys, we never thought anything of that.   Our boys have never said, well, why didn't I get anything? And if they did, we'd say, “Well, you didn't need this or you didn't need that.” Our children never counted what the other ones have.   Now saying that when it came to the birthdays, we gave the same monetary value to all of them when it came to Christmas, when it came to things. But when it really came to that, one son needed a pair of shoes, but the others didn't. We didn't go out and get shoes for all of them.   And they just were raised with that. And to this day, they all know that it all comes out fairly in the end. You know, we don't bring home things just for one, the same child every time.   Does that make sense?   Laura Dugger: (21:21 - 21:32) Yeah, absolutely. And I appreciate that perspective. I'm also curious, were there any other memorable phrases you and your husband taught your children?   Markie Castle: (21:33 - 26:37) You know, there were many. One of the things we had said to them was we can afford anything. But we can't afford everything.   So, we would impress upon them how fortunate we were to afford things. But we certainly can't afford everything. We had friends who would never purchase soda and we did the same thing.   But they really like to travel and the kids like to travel. And so, they wouldn't buy a soda in a restaurant or buy a snack at the mall because they wanted to travel. And they would ask their kids, you know, would you rather purchase a soda or snack now or enjoy the soda or snack in Europe?   And it made the kids think. OK, so again, this is all in what you choose. I was listening to someone at a talk and actually at a moment at our church that said, “You know, what could you save if you didn't get your daily latte from Starbucks?”   And I'm thinking, OK, and his point was at six dollars per drink. You could say. And I figured this out, two thousand one hundred and eighty-four dollars per year.   After two years, you could have enough money to go to Hawaii. Now, that's great. This particular person loves to travel and he doesn't like coffee.   So, to him, it was a no brainer. But if someone doesn't like to travel. But enjoys that daily vacation of going to Starbucks.   This may be the one they would choose. So, we're all different in what we like and what we want. But.   The important thing is, is that you're not adding this to a debt that you're paying 24 percent interest because that six dollar cup of coffee is actually going to cost you much more than the six dollars. Also, I was teaching a group of nearly married couples about finances and. Someone brought up that they can't afford a date night.   I mean, after babysitting, after dinner at the restaurant, etc. they can't afford that. And babysitting nowadays is ridiculously expensive. And another couple said that they have date nights every other week.   What they do is they trade off with another couple for babysitting and they pack a dinner and go on a picnic. So, basically, their date night costs them nothing. Not being able to afford an expensive dinner for a date night.   That puts you in a mindset that you're doing without. Instead, look at what you have. You know, taking a hike.   Visiting a museum on a free day. Getting a membership to places that you could then feel like you're going for free. Walking along the river.   All of these are wonderful ways to have a date night. My husband and I would have a date night in our home. We would feed the boys their favorite chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese.   And we put them to bed. We would then, I would get out and have tablecloth and have candlelight. And we would have a quiet adult meal by candlelight.   It was a wonderful date night. And it cost us nothing. Now, where we were, we could not afford babysitting.   And we did not have people who could babysit. We didn't have a community that we could share babysitting. We did find that as the kids got older.   And we utilized that, which was wonderful. We used to share a Friday night with a family. This is when the kids were a little older.   And we would switch with them. Every other Friday night, we would switch kids. We would take their kids for one of the Fridays.   And then two weeks later, they would take our kids. And they took them overnight. So, we had, you know, Friday evening and Saturday morning.   And it cost us nothing. And the joy of that was when we took their kids, it was a blast. Because we always planned on doing extra special things.   Because it was like one big party. It worked very well. And we were able to have free babysitting just because we exchanged.   As opposed to paying for a babysitter.   Laura Dugger: (26:38 - 29:02) And I love the creativity. How you problem solved that to still go for your date night. Because that was a value.   And I think you're empowering all of us that these options are possible. And we do have a choice in this situation. And then also the reality that we're going to operate within the reality of trade-offs.   And now a brief message from our sponsor.   Friends, I'm excited to share with you today's sponsor, WinShape Marriage. Do you feel like you need a weekend away with your spouse?   And a chance to grow in your relationship together at the same time? WinShape Marriage is a fantastic ministry that provides weekend marriage retreats to help couples grow closer together in every season and stage of life. 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To find an experience that's right for you and your spouse, head to their website, winshapemarriage.org/savvy. That's W-I-N-S-H-A-P-E marriage dot org slash savvy, S-A-V-V-Y. Thanks for your sponsorship.   And as you and Bob continued to train your children with finances, how did you see this play out with each of their different personalities?   Markie Castle: (29:04 - 32:55) Although we raised our boys within the same manner, we were blessed with three totally different children. Totally. When it came to money, one was a saver, one was a spender, and one was a minimalist.   And although they all were different, they all needed the structure of financial awareness. So, our eldest wanted to save every dime that he was given. And you know what?   He's still that way. He wants to save, save, save, save, save. Our middle child would spend every dime that he would receive.   It would not be in his pocket for more than a couple of minutes. Then our youngest child didn't care about buying anything, which was very different from the saver. He was just a minimalist.   I don't need anything. It just doesn't matter. And he is still that way.   So, our spender needed to learn the importance of budgeting and saving. They all needed to learn it, but it was extremely important for him. And he did learn.   When he was about 10 or 11, he lost some money for not doing certain chores. And he looked at us and said, the only reason you had children was to make money. My husband and I were literally speechless.   We kind of just looked at him and we didn't know what to say. And then he just looked at us after a couple of moments and he said, that's the stupidest thing I've ever said. And yep, we all had a good laugh.   He did learn to budget and it was interesting. So, when he was in high school and starting to date, he took this girl that he wound up dating for several years. And he was going to go to the movies and he was a gentleman.   He was absolutely a gentleman. And they walked into the movies and he paid for the movies because that's what you do. And then as they were walking past the concession stand, he said, “Well, do you want popcorn?”   And she said, “Oh, that'd be nice.” And he said, “Okay, well, you're going to need to get it yourself. I'm not paying those prices.”   And she was kind of, ”Okay.” Now we needed to teach him a little bit more about dating with that. But it was like he paid for the movies.   He wasn't going to pay $10 for a box of popcorn. So, he had learned the value of money. When you can get into the movie for less money than a box of popcorn, there's something to be thought about that.   I am happy to say that while he did not marry her, but I'm happy to say that he did marry someone and he learned to budget. And she is all about budget, budget, budget. But that also means that they are able to enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.   I think budget gets a really bad name because you think that means that you can't buy things if you budget. And I see it as the exact opposite. If I budget $50 for entertainment, for the month, for the week, for whatever, you can enjoy having that entertainment because that's money that is free and clear for you to use.   Laura Dugger: (32:56 - 33:14) Yeah, I'm with you on that too, because I do think that self-control that really is a fruit of the spirit, but that discipline and self-control leads to freedom eventually. And so, again, those limits provide joy and freedom, which is counterintuitive, but the Lord's economy.   Markie Castle: (33:14 - 33:34) That's right. But once you do it, you realize, and we have seen this happen, that they go, “Oh, I feel better about going to the movies because it's already been planned, which goes back to when you build a tower, you should plan that.”   Laura Dugger: (33:35 - 33:43) You've mentioned that you did offer an allowance. So, what were your allowance or commission guidelines?   Markie Castle: (33:44 - 35:58) So, there's many trains of thought with this. We felt that there were certain chores that needed to be done as part of the household. So, making your bed, setting the table, helping with dinner, cleaning up the dishes, sweeping the floor.   Obviously, our children were expected to do more as they got older. I would give them opportunities, though, to do over and beyond, and then they could make extra money. So, there were certain expectations on a daily basis, and that was part of being part of the household, being part of the family.   But to go over and beyond would give us the time. Now, I do know some people pay for everything that they do, and I understand where they're coming from with that, but then they may choose not to make their bed or choose not to set the table because they don't want the money, but then other people need the table to be set. So, that can cause issues, too.   We never, when it came to grades, I know that's something that's talked about, we never paid for certain grades in school. We did allow them, you know, at the time it was, well, if you get this many A's, you can get a pizza or something, you know, from Pizza Hut or something. We would do that, but we never paid for specific grades for our kids.   There was an expectation that they would do well, not for the money. But we would all go out and celebrate when they all had good report cards. So, I know that there's different trains of thought with that.   You know, there are some others who will put a price on certain chores and have the allowance reflect that money they made. Our boys received their allowance, but there were times that we charged them when we needed to do their chore, like pick up their clothes in the bathroom after they've been asked to do so. So, if we did something, we kind of charged them for it.   And that's when our son said, well, you just had children to make money.   Laura Dugger: (35:59 - 37:14) Guess what? We are no longer an audio only podcast. We now have video included as well.   If you want to view the conversation each week, make sure you watch our videos. We're on YouTube and you can access videos or find answers to any of your other questions about the podcast when you visit thesavvysauce.com.   With our family, our daughters currently are nine, eight, six, and four. And so, they have the understanding of give, save, spend. But just this summer, our sweet and very generous neighbor, Jillian, James and Jillian, have hired our oldest two, Sayla and Shiloh, to water their plants while they're traveling. And so, this is their first paid job opportunity.   And so, my plan with my husband is to train our girls with this podcast. And there's a question I want to ask you next that I believe will even guide us with our conversation and how to train them. So, when your children were earning money or making this allowance, even from a young age, how did you teach them to split their money?   Markie Castle: (37:16 - 42:21) So, we set up our allowance that they were given one-dollar times their age, which you had alluded to early on. So, each week, a five-year-old would get five dollars a week, which sounds like a lot, right? Or a ten-year-old would get ten dollars.   And that sounds awesome, right? But it was broken down. So, we first would take ten percent which goes to charity.   We wanted to teach the children about tithing. And that was the first. The next, we had ten percent that was taken for taxes.   And we used that for family fun night, which made those nights special to them. Now, what they learned from having their taxes taken, when they went to get their first job, like when they were 16 or 17, and our oldest son got a job at the Zoli's when it was there. And he was not in shock when he was given his paycheck and taxes were taken out.   He understood that. All his other friends were complaining about them taking it. But our children knew there were taxes, and taxes went for the good of the community.   We also took ten percent for retirement. And that was just good habits to form. We kept it.   We kept account of how much it was. And when they got out of college, we gave them their retirement. Wow.   Now in their 30s, they have a financial guy and he is shocked at how set our children are for the future. Then 20 percent went to college. Once again, this was kind of a mindset.   Now, if you don't think your children are going to go to college, I would still recommend at least going to community college or a trade or whatever. We saved this and gave it to them to put towards their expenses when they went to college. So, we literally gave them their money and said, this is what you have saved over all these years.   Now you have 50 percent left. So, 25 percent went to savings. And they had to put this in a separate category, and they needed to buy something with it that was $25 or more.   We wanted them to learn how to save up for that special whatever they wanted. They could spend that on whatever. So, that would make for a five-year-old, fifty cents went to church, fifty cents for taxes, fifty cents for retirement, a dollar for college, a dollar twenty-five for savings.   And what they got at the end, they got a dollar twenty-five for the week, which is a good amount for a five-year-old. But let me just say, when I say so they can spend it, if you're the parent, it is okay to say no to what they are purchasing. Our middle son at a point, now he was older, but he wanted to get 10 piercings in one ear.   We didn't think this was a wise decision, not all at the same time. He respectfully stated that he was old enough that he didn't need our permission and that he could pay for it. Now, mind you, he was living with us at the time, but he said he didn't need our permission.   And he said it respectfully. We did tell him no, and that as long as he was living with us, reaping the benefits of our house, utilities, food, vacations, he still needs to abide by our parental decisions. And you know what?   It wasn't an issue. He said, okay. And when he was on his own, you know what?   He had become wiser over those couple of years and he didn't do it. So, it's okay to say no to some things. And saying that, doing this allowance, it makes going places so much nicer.   I never said no to my kids. And it was funny because when we talk about moms' groups or whatever, I said, “Oh, I never tell my children no. They can have, you know, what they asked me for things, I never tell them no.”   And they go, “Really?” And I said, “Yeah.” I'd say, “Do you have the money for it?”   Oh, okay. And then it wasn't me saying no. They needed to make that decision.   This sounds so negative and it truly is not. Our boys took great pride in paying for their own things. I mean, they used discernment in their choices.   And they took great care of those toys that they bought. There was a sense of ownership and responsibility to it. This was not negative.   It was truly positive and taught them much more than just about money.   Laura Dugger: (42:22 - 42:41) Well, and it's such a great real-world experience. I've never heard someone teach like this before, where you broke it down so specifically. But really, it reflected how they would handle money as adults.   And so, I think it's brilliant. And I'm wondering if you have any other practical recommendations that we haven't covered yet.   Markie Castle: (42:43 - 45:07) I would give a few. So, in their allowance, I put the cash in clear containers labeled so that they could see what they had. When they were older, we moved it to paper because I wanted them to be taught about how banks work.   Another couple of things. We never had issues going through candy aisles or going to events. We would pay for the tickets.   If they wanted to buy a snack like at Six Flags or something, they could. But they'd have to use their own money. Now, we're not cruel.   We would buy lunch for them. But if they wanted that $10 soft pretzel, they needed to buy it. Another thing, if they received money for a birthday gift, we felt that that was all theirs to spend.   Because to me, that gift, you know, if they were given a toy, we wouldn't split that toy up and give 10% to charity. So, they could keep all the money and go and buy what they wanted. One other thing, and some people may find this controversial, but I would suggest getting a credit card for your children as soon as you can while they are living with you.   And then you can give them the guidance that they need. Our son learned from an early age that you only charge items that you know you will be able to pay off at the end of the month. A debit card is good too, that they need to have that money in there.   But we liked setting the habit of paying off the credit card every month. A debit card would say, you can't slide this card unless you have that money in the bank. Either way, I would highly recommend you get your children something so you can give them the guidance of how to use it.   We knew people who wouldn't allow their children to date until they were 18. And my thought was, I don't want to give my children the go ahead to date when they go off to college. I wanted to be able to guide them.   So, we said, when you're 16, you can date. And then we were able to guide them and teach them along the way.   Laura Dugger: (45:08 - 45:14) That's so good. And can you think of anything else that you want to make sure we don't overlook today?   Markie Castle: (45:15 - 45:51) After counseling and mentoring many couples who have asked us for help, I realized that financial difficulties and marriage issues go hand in hand. That puts a stress in a marriage that comes out in other ways. If someone is having financial issues, you need to get help.   I would also say to teach your children so they are raised with a God-honoring respect for money. 1 Timothy 6:10 doesn't state that money is the root of all evil. It states that “the love of money is the root of all evil.”   Laura Dugger: (45:52 - 45:59) Well, I love all of the practical tips you've shared. And do you have any other favorite stories that come to mind?   Markie Castle: (46:00 - 48:23) One that is particularly close to me is we had very, very close friends who actually my husband worked under him for many years. But we were very close. And in fact, we moved together and with my husband's job and very close.   He was an exec, a cat, very high up. And making more money was the most important thing. Climbing that corporate ladder.   And suddenly he just realized how unhappy he was. He also put his children at bay because he worked so much. He needed to have the better cars, the better house, the better everything.   And one evening, there's a knock at the door. We weren't expecting him. And they were just standing there.   And he just said, “Can we talk?” And he came in and he looked at us and said, “When is enough??” And he had tears in his eyes.   And he knew that money was driving him at the cost of his marriage, although they were still together, but at the cost of the relationship with his children. And he said, “When is enough? And we talked to him.   We again shared the gospel, which we had shared before. And when you have Christ in your life, for me, that's enough. That's all I need is Christ.   He turned his life over to the Lord. He became a believer. He quit his job, which he had planned on.   And financially, he was great. And what he does now, he does a lot of mission work. He goes to different places that have been hit by a tornado.   And he's with the group that goes all over taking care of other people. And he is far, far wealthier than he ever was.   Laura Dugger: (48:24 - 48:48) Wow, Markie, that is so powerful. And what an incredible story to start to close our time together with. But I still have one final question for you, because our podcast is called The Savvy Sauce, because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge or discernment.   And so, this is my final question for you today. What is your savvy sauce?   Markie Castle: (48:49 - 49:28) I would say beware of giving your children everything they want. And everything you think they need. Wanting is a great lesson to learn.   And as we've been told in the Bible, patience is a virtue. Having children earning their own money and spending it teaches them independence and develops them to be adults who are secure with the choices they have learned to make. This is far more than just teaching them about money.   Much more is developed within them.   Laura Dugger: (49:28 - 50:00) That is so good. And truly, Markie, this conversation, I can't wait to share it with all of our girls, with Isla and Kessler, too, being even just six and four. I think you have so many helpful practical takeaways.   And you're such a gifted teacher. So, it's been a joy to learn from you during this time. So, thank you, not only for applying scriptures to the way you interact with finances, but thank you for also sharing those applications with us today.   And thank you for being my guest.   Markie Castle: (50:01 - 50:10) Laura, it's truly been my pleasure. I appreciate you and I appreciate how God-centered you are and with this podcast.   Laura Dugger: (50:11 - 53:29) Wow, thank you so much. That encouragement means a lot. One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

Sermon Series | ParablesTo give to our M25 Initiative, text m25 to 623.252.5085 or visit redaz.in/m25.To download our Mobile App, search Redemption Church Peoria where you download apps to your device(s).To connect with us, visit this link:  http://redaz.in/RPTo invest in our ministry financially, visit this link: https://bit.ly/3roZDAW

Revelation’s 7 Seals: “Keeping Our Faith & Sanity,” pt 5 John 15:8-17 New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition 8 My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and become my disciples. 9 As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love. 10 If you keep my […]

The new Rumps & Bumps jersey just dropped! Check out afterpartyinc.com. It's the Halloween Edition of the After Party and for this one we invite our friends over from P.R.I to come on share some spooky stories and they also bring some of their EMF devices for us to check out! They also tell us about some of the spooky places they've investigated and personal encounters. Follow us on social media @AaronScenesAfterParty

Blaine Clarke and Samantha Rux joined Wake Up Tri-Counties to talk about the Radiology Department at OSF Saint Luke Medical Center in Kewanee. As the OSF HealthCare system moves to a regional approach, Blaine Clarke has taken on the Director of Radiology, and Daniel Kroll is now the supervisor of Radiology at OSF Saint Luke Medical Center. Daniel Kroll brings experience and expertise from OSF Saint Francis Medical Center in Peoria. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and OSF St. Luke's is encouraging everyone to schedule their mammograms. OSF's radiology department now features easy self-scheduling online, through the MyChart app, or on “Walk-In Wednesdays” in Kewanee, Galesburg, and Monmouth. "Walk-In Wednesdays" run from noon to 2:30 PM at OSF Saint Luke's in Kewanee. Multiple services, including CT, MRI, and ultrasound, are available with quick access and the same radiologists as Peoria's larger centers. Diagnostic days on Fridays help patients receive follow-up imaging if routine mammograms reveal concerns. Early detection remains key—screenings are recommended starting at age 40, or earlier if there's a family history. Remember—both women and men should be aware and get checked if needed. Patients seeking advanced imaging services have found a convenient option closer to home at Galesburg's Radiology Department. Residents from the surrounding areas are choosing this facility for its prompt scheduling and high standards of care, often available more quickly than at larger institutions where waits can stretch to weeks. Both CT and MRI scans are offered, handled by skilled technicians, and interpreted by the same radiologists who serve major hospitals like OSF St. Francis. This connection ensures consistent quality while sparing patients a lengthy drive or the hassle of larger parking areas, making specialized care more accessible and comfortable locally. Residents in the Kewanee area have access to advanced diagnostic imaging services at OSF Saint Luke's, located at 1051 W South St in Kewanee, IL. The department offers CT scans, MRI services, and X-ray services as part of OSF HealthCare Saint Luke Medical Center's commitment to local healthcare. CT scans and X-rays are offered around the clock, while MRI appointments are available weekdays, with extended hours on select days and Saturday mornings. Central Scheduling can be reached at 309-852-7550 for more details or to arrange an appointment. The center emphasizes convenience and comprehensive care.

Sermon Series | ParablesTo give to our M25 Initiative, text m25 to 623.252.5085 or visit redaz.in/m25.To download our Mobile App, search Redemption Church Peoria where you download apps to your device(s).To connect with us, visit this link:  http://redaz.in/RPTo invest in our ministry financially, visit this link: https://bit.ly/3roZDAW

In this episode, Cameron shares his powerful story of serving for sixteen years at one of Arizona's largest megachurches, a place where faith, control, and fear collided. From witnessing the enforcement of “alignment” policies to experiencing personal retaliation and deep spiritual betrayal, Cameron opens up about what it meant to lose his community while finding his voice. His courage sheds light on how systems of power can twist spiritual language to maintain control and how healing begins with truth.Support the show

Sermon Series | ParablesTo give to our M25 Initiative, text m25 to 623.252.5085 or visit redaz.in/m25.To download our Mobile App, search Redemption Church Peoria where you download apps to your device(s).To connect with us, visit this link:  http://redaz.in/RPTo invest in our ministry financially, visit this link: https://bit.ly/3roZDAW

In much of the world, fall has arrived: a time for pumpkin spiced fajitas, cozy, warm L'eggs (TM), and candy corn suppositories. But in the magical world of Beatlefestlandia, it's always 85 degrees, Simon Kirke is hanging out with Eddie Deezen, and everyone gets a picture sleeve of Ringo's “You're 16”! Let's Huey Lewis and the Fake News (#Fox) our way back in time, to August, as we proudly present - in colour! - the global podcast premiere of “The Beatlefest for Beatles Fans”! BYO colostomy bag o'wine, as Tony, T.J., Producer Casey, P3Z-Nutz, and a Sgt. Pepper movie finale-worthy cast of thousands (tens?) head to Rosemont to kick summer's lazy ass one last time. Incredibly (bit much?), this year marks the UB3 (#Cantaloop) sharing the Fest for Beatles Fans together, as a trio, for what feels like the first time! Feels like the very first time! Speaking of Foreigner, If the Roman Emperor from 54 to 68 AD, a.k.a. “The Antichrist”, was a fan, would he have been a Juke Box Nero? (Angry Chicago guy: AND HOW COME THEY ASK JAGBAG QUESTIONS NOW BEFORE THEY EVEN GET TO THE PART OF THE BLURB WHERE THEY SAY THEY'RE GONNA ASK DUMBASS QUESTIONS? AND HOW COME CHICAGO MEDIA DON'T COVER THE WHITE SOX NO MORE JUST CAUSE THEY AIN'T IN THE PLAYOFFS? AND HOW COME THE WOKE BLACKHAWKS GOT A THEME NIGHT DEDICATED TO…”) Sssssh. He's asleep. His snoring is disturbing, a tell-tale sign that he'll die soon. His son is a dancer, doing “Carousel” in Peoria, and has a roommate named Raoul. Life is tragic for this broken soul, but the sun will rise tomorrow, and when it does, he'll…… Ssssssh, this author is now asleep. Emotionally. Fin.   EPISODE LINKS Like and subscribe! Please support our scrappy show. Score some BRAND NEW MERCH or find us on Patreon. Come hang with us on Facebook/Instagram/and now TikTok! Drop us a review on Apple Podcasts! 13 Green Potatoes by MENDOZA on Bandcamp/Apple Music/Spotify! (and other streamers)

Tonight's Guest WeatherBrain is Illinois Congressman Eric Sorensen.  He last joined the WeatherBrains panel in 2022 when he was first running for office. He is now in his second term in Congress and is a meteorologist who has represented Illinois's 17th congressional district since 2023, covering much of western and central Illinois, including Moline, Rock Island, parts of Peoria, Rockford, and the Illinois side of the Quad Cities.  Congressman, we are honored to have you join us tonight! Our email officer Jen is continuing to handle the incoming messages from our listeners. Reach us here: email@weatherbrains.com. Update on Dr. Jacobs (0:45) June 20th, 2025 North Dakota EF5 (02:45) Meteorologists in Congress (09:00) Weather and politics (17:00) Bipartisan SST Committee (18:00) U.S. Government shutdown and how it has affected the weather community (21:30) Science-focused legislators (29:00) Learning to admit you can be wrong and don't know (45:00) Social media reaction to the end of the EF5 drought (46:00) Ted Fujita's tornado scale was created in 1973 (53:00) Is the door open to change ratings of long-past tornadoes and hurricanes?  (56:00) Tornado damage vs straight-line wind damage (01:08:00)  Inaction during Severe Thunderstorm Warnings (01:12:00) The Astronomy Outlook with Tony Rice (No segment this week - stay tuned!) This Week in Tornado History With Jen (01:13:30) E-Mail Segment (01:15:20) Tropics discussion (01:19:00)   and more! Web Sites from Episode 1029: Alabama Weather Network Congressman Eric Sorensen on X Picks of the Week: James Aydelott - EF5 tornado drought is over Jen Narramore - Helpful tornado technology created by MU meteorology student Rick Smith - New study reveals potential cause of a ‘drought' in violent EF5 tornadoes Troy Kimmel - Delta Flight Museum Kim Klockow-McClain - Foghorn John Gordon - Rain, snow and a double rainbow in Laramie, Wyoming Bill Murray - Out James Spann - Tim Marshall: We have an EF5 tornado in North Dakota! The WeatherBrains crew includes your host, James Spann, plus other notable geeks like Troy Kimmel, Bill Murray, Rick Smith, James Aydelott, Jen Narramore, John Gordon, and Dr. Kim Klockow-McClain. They bring together a wealth of weather knowledge and experience for another fascinating podcast about weather.

Mt. Rushmore of radio, breaking out Amazing Grace, Charlie Kirk's Memorial, and worshipping on South Beach… On the net, it's a positive. ----- JOKES FOR HUMANS TOUR: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://johncristcomedy.com/tour/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 10/2 - Evansville, IN 10/3 - Dayton, OH 10/4 - Peoria, IL 10/10 - Knoxville, TN 10/11 - Greenville, SC 10/16 - York, PA 10/17 - Detroit, MI 10/18 - Cleveland, OH 10/24 - Birmingham, AL 10/25 - Chattanooga, TN 11/7 - Boise, ID 11/8 - Spokane, WA 11/9 - Tacoma, WA 11/20 - Abilene, TX 11/21 - San Antonio, TX 11/22 - Tyler, TX 11/23 - Austin, TX 12/5 - Phoenix, AZ 12/6 - Santa Rosa, CA 12/7 - Redding, CA 12/11 - South Bend, IN 12/12 - Munhall, PA 12/14 - Buffalo, NY 1/25 - Nashville, TN ----- Catch the full video podcast on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and follow us on social media (⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@netpositivepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠) for clips, bonus content, and updates throughout the week. ----- Email us at netpositive@johncristcomedy.com ----- FOLLOW JOHN ON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ----- SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS GLORIFY: Get a 14 day free trial when you visit https://glorify-app.com/netpositive MANDO: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off your Starter Pack (that's over 40% off) with promo code NETPOSITIVE at https://shopmando.com MOSH: Save 20% off plus FREE shipping on the Best-Sellers Trial Pack at https://moshlife.com/NETPOSITIVE ----- PRODUCED BY: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alex Lagos⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Lagos Creative