Two Kids No Kids

This week we are really stepping out of our comfort zone and welcome someone who is not afraid to call out difficult topics and conversations. She is incredibly insightful, eloquent and a woman of the modern world and we love her for it. The queer is here and she is turning it up. *Please be aware topics in this episode contain information relating to sexual assault and other things people may find triggering or offensive*

Part 2 with Anna Calvert. This time we are talking a lot of B's as the title suggests but it's not all as it seems. It's probably even worse!! We are digging up some memories we would rather forget and exposing our digestive issues. Everyone's shit themselves, RIGHT?!

A guest who SLAPS... No she literally SLAPS!! On this episode we have a guest we were desperate for in Season 1. She's fun, she's filthy and she's spilling the sauce and everything in between. Friends for over 10 and nearly 20 years respectively, she's not holding back on either of us. She came, she conquered, she basically took over. You don't want to miss this!

Just like Robbie coming back to Take That, Zayn coming back to One Direction and if Rose had only let Jack on the board.. We are back!!! But don't fear, we never actually split up or died like all of the above. We're talking the last nearly 3 years, from 28 to nearly 31! We're in a whole new era and we hope you are still entertained!

After nearly a 3 year hiatus we are back in business- or are we? Tune into Episode 1 dropping Friday 17th March 2023!

The curtain is calling and we are wrapping up series 1 with a BANG. Dont worry we plan on coming back, bigger, badder and better so try not to miss us too much. We wanted to keep you going though so embrace this episode with an open mind.. there's a lot to take in! Were reflecting on our time recording the last 15 weeks, what we've learned (if anything) and divulging our last stories that include a chair breaking in public, sex in the woods with an uninvited guest, possible piercings in private places and a hell of a lot more. Chloe ends with a final goodbye and gives everyone a helping hand on how to give the best blowjob a man can get. You don't want to miss this last episode. As always like, LAUGH like you haven't laughed at us before and SHARE. See you on the other side kids!

Its the penultimate episode and we are definately going out with a bang. Our new style Dear Deidre colum is back and this week we talk not finishing the job, wonky dicks and ghosting being the new normal. We finally get back on track with our A-Z of sexuality and talk everything from Kink to The moment passing, queefing and what we think of having a reputation. Its loud with a lot of LOLs this week so turn up and tune in cos you'll miss us when we're gone. Share the love with everyone and anyone and remember to keep up with us, get involved with us and just see more of us follow us on @twokidsnokids on insta!

Could this week be someones last first date? One of us has been dating like its going out of fashion, but did it pay off? We take on the roles of being a modern day dear deidre, giving our advice on situations including genital warts, incest and long distance. Can long distance really go the distance? And do we all give up on something because it doesn't start off on the perfect footing? We are getting into all the feels this week but remembering of course to make you guys laugh and remind you, you are certainly never alone! With season 1 coming to a close over the next couple of episodes please remember to laugh, listen and SHARE. Find us on @twokidsnokids on instagram for all the latest updates.

In this weeks episode we enter into part 1 of the alphabet. Its the A-Z of sexuality and like nothing you've heard before. We go through A-H including topics such as Anal, the Clitoris, Experimentation, Heartbreaks and much more. What is the obsession with our arseholes? When will the clitoris ever be treated with the respect and care it deserves, and how heartbreak has defined and changed us. Get ready to laugh and cry but only with laughter! Listen and SHARE! As always find us on twokidsnokids on instagram to get involved and see what we get up to!

This week we are diving in to what gets us turned on, how important it is for men to go down and most important of all what gets us turned off to the point of no return- GETTING THE ICK. We're talking golden tits to sore ones, how to get a good performance out of us and loads more. Are girly hands really a thing? And although balding can't be helped are you cockblocking yourself by refusing to just shave it off? Listen to find out and as always SHARE SHARE SHARE. Listen, love and laugh and don't forget to find us on twokidsnokids on instagram!

We hope you're ready for this one because Episode 10 features our very first guest who is none other than our very own TWO KIDS aka Chloe's mother! She's spilling her secrets on what good Catholic Irish girls really got up to, what sex and love looks like after 37 years of marriage and answers the age old question of "should the bush come back". Strap in for this one because it is a ride. Educational to say the least and an insight into how the older generation roll. Listen, love and SHARE as always and you can find us on @twokidsnokids on insta. We will see you there!

BONUS EPISODE!! Part 2 of Episode 9 is a continuation of what our guys really think, as well as same sex experiences that involve truth or dares over stepping the mark and sandwiches crisps and clunge. More hilarious stories including car crashes, blozzas under the covers and the self declared golden nugget. Listen, love and SHARE. Laugh with us, or laugh at us, so long as you're laughing we do not care!

Episode 9 is so bloody big we had to record it in TWO parts. Listen to part 1 for parents overhearing things they shouldn't, what pregnancy really does to you and your dignity. The bad, the grim and the downright dutty. Following our polls we also talk about things through the eyes of our guys! What men think, what men like and what men really care about! Listen and SHARE, but most importantly LAUGH as always.

We are literally hitting the ball out the park with this weeks episode. If you thought we've had drama before you havent seen nothing yet. One of us is well and truly in the dog house, but is it justified? And the other is cruising down the freeway running bitches over, but will it bite her in the ass? We also give advice on some of YOUR situations and laugh at the worst lie you've ever told to get out of a date. Tune in, laugh, love and SHARE as always. And follow us on twokidsnokids over at instagram to get involved.

This week we're updating you on the viking, what Franky's been up to and how to handle a breakup. Find out if we've ever got under someone new to get over someone and whether or not it's worth it. More stories come up about harrassment and stalking but is it Chloe or Franky this week? Finally we also discuss that tricky transition from dating to being exclusive. When is the right time and how do you bring it up? Listen, love and SHARE as always, as well as finding us on Instagram under "twokidsnokids".

This week there's a new man on the horizon as well as an old one returning. We talk masturbation and how us girls really get down to get up, as well as mental health and polls as voted by the kids club. Do you like a finger up the bum? Or do you prefer Irish accents over French? It's all revealed so listen, love and as always SHARE!

After 4 episodes of bad mouthing quite a lot about the men we secretly love, we thought it was about time to call upon THE FUCK GIRLS. Also included in this weeks episode is disucssing other people's stories including malteasers, crying during sex, bondage gone wrong and when your left hanging after a quick escape. Listen and SHARE, you and ya friends could learn something new.

Episode 4 is about to go OFF much like Tinder did in 2015. We've got dating covered in this episode and I'm sure you can all relate. From swiping left to right, to unauthorised DICK PICKS, nudes and when should you first get hot and heavy. We're here to remind you less is more, just chill the fuck out and get involved! Live your single life!

Episode 3 is all about lessons learnt and lessons we're still learning in the realm of dating and relationships and of course sex. We ask questions on things were still looking for the answers for as well as answering questions on lessons we are well and truly versed in. Between the 2 of us we have a wealth of experience that we hope will help you stop making the mistakes we've made much sooner than we stopped making them. Enjoy!

Welcome to episode 2! Numero dos is all about girl problems, from periods, to bush trimming, STDs to sex toys, we have you covered. It's sex education like you haven't heard it before. Guys you could learn a hell of a lot too, so stay tuned to find out what turns us on and turns us off #clingfilm. Again we hope you laugh out loud. Open the wine and take some time.

Welcome to our very first episode which we have honoured by talking about all things firsts! From that first kiss to first heartbeak, first hand job to first time, and a whole lot more. Hosted by Franky & Chloe, 2 best friend's, both single in our late twenties with a wealth of experience, laughs and losses between us. Hopefully by the end you'll have laughed as much as we laughed making it. Enjoy!