We Write Weird Shhh...

Distended Butt Bandits - Episode 17 Season 1.5Bet you thought Season 2 would be starting by now. PSYCH! We have another bonus episode first, wherein we decide to talk more about Writing and Weird Shit and less about Comic Book TV Adaptations.In that spirit, we discuss a local hero's petition to fight Donald Trump's son, then we chat about our experience with outlines when writing.Then we read Thom's story about mind-control dye and distended butt bandits, complete with original accompanying songs!Next time: Season 2 starts. Maybe.LINX:Thom's other music: http://thomalan.bandcamp.com/Trump fight petition: https://www.change.org/p/everybody-get-eric-trump-to-fight-meBeat Sheets: http://jamigold.com/for-writers/worksheets-for-writers/Snowflake method: http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/articles/snowflake-method/

Marcie and Me - Episode 16 Season 1.5In this, the 16th episode of We Write Weird Shit, Jake and Jon talk about Captain America being Hydra (spoiler alert!), the pitiful performance of X-Men: Apocalypse, and the feats and flaws of Game of Thrones.Also, Patrick Stewart is dead. RIP :(Then we read Betty Rocksteady's story about a hairless spidercat and the zombie kama sutra!Next episode is another guest episode!Links mentioned this episode:http://www.theouthousers.com/index.php/features/135440-x-men-apocalypse-review.htmlhttps://youtu.be/AGGEymAXD7shttps://youtu.be/9GqNJwOwmCk

The Pit - Episode 15 Season 1.5This is the second episode of We Write Weird Shit bonus season! We talk about our new website, our new store, our new Patreon, how Jon is a nerd failure who hasn't seen Deadpool yet, how Picard would make a great neo-Nazi, and how Jake has a real life publisher now!Then Jake reads guest writer Rob Goyette's story based on suggestions Matt Debour and an atomic cock rocket suggested by Jake and Jon.Join us next episode where we read a story by guest writer Cody Lee based on our suggestions Twilight Vampire Till Lindemann and a laser pig.Links mentioned this episode:https://youtu.be/_qIRtFE6aIchttps://www.facebook.com/BlueDecoPublishing/

The Angry Amish: A Coffee Table Book - Episode 14 Season 1.5Welcome to the first bonus episode of We Write Weird Shit after Season 1 but before Season 2! What's so special you inquire? I'm glad you asked! Justin K. Day of Random Transmissions has written the story for this episode, based on suggestions provided by Jake and Jon! Those suggestions were: A gluten-free tape worm and Inverse cat-dog.But before that, we chat about Prince's death, the many other deaths of 2016, Hollywood whitewashing, and the rapture.Next episode: we read Rob's story about Matt Debour and an Atomic cock rocket suggested by Jake and Jon.Links:https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/random-transmissions/id1072215335?mt=2https://www.yahoo.com/music/behind-those-corporate-prince-tributes-1416047763521590.htmlhttp://www.weregeek.com/2016/04/21/https://youtu.be/GrXe8YDbzYs

Hell's Belles - Episode 13 Season 1Welcome to the lucky 13th episode of We Write Weird Shit!In this episode we talk about Star Wars: Rogue One, Krampus, how fucking great Archer Season 6 is, how neither of us actually watch the Walking Dead, and announce that we will be publishing all our stories from season one as an eBook!Then Jake reads Jon's story about having a baby in Hell and JFK, suggested by Jake.Next week Jon reads Special Guest Justin Day of Random Transmissions’ story about a gluten-free tape worm and inverse catdog, as suggested by Jake and Jon combined!Links mentioned in this episode:http://www.theouthousers.com/index.php/staff/6481-jonjames.htmlhttp://www.worldweaverpress.com/store/p63/Krampusnacht%3A_Twelve_Nights_of_Krampus.htmlhttp://smile.amazon.com/Archer-Season-6/dp/B00R3O2D8I?sa-no-redirect=1https://youtu.be/Wji-BZ0oCwg

Katie's Letter - Episode 12 Season 1Welcome the the entire week late because Jake had to work and Jon got sick 12th episode of We Write Weird Shit!In this episode, we talk pretty much exclusively about Batman V Superman and Daredevil Season 2. If you haven't seen those yet, keep your clickers ready to jump ahead, because there be spoilers here!Then Jon reads Jake's story "about" Dragons and To Kill A Mockingbird suggested by Jon.Next week, the last episode of season 1, Jake reads Jon's story about delivering a baby in Hell and assassinating JFK because he was about to reveal that the moon landing was faked.Links mentioned in this episode:http://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/mar/25/review-batman-v-superman-dawn-of-justicehttp://www.denofgeek.com/tv/daredevil/39472/daredevil-season-2-examining-jon-bernthals-punisherhttp://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Elektra_Natchios_(Earth-616)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw_o7XUX3fghttps://www.facebook.com/events/1063371530394491/

Apocalysaurus - Episode 11 Season 1Holy shit it's episode 11 of We Write Weird Shit! The episode where you can barely hear Jon because of magical disappearing source files!In this episode, we discuss Spider-Man's terrible costume in Captain America: Civil War, the nightmare that is DC's reboot of Hanna Barbera cartoons in comic form, and whether we can say Cunt on the air if it's the title of a book.Then Jake reads Jon's story about a dinosaur apocalypse suggested by Cody.Next week... Jon reads Jake's story about a dragon and To Kill a Mockingbird suggested by Jon! MUAHAHAHA!Links mentioned in this episode:http://www.theouthousers.com/index.php/news/134747-belligerent-dc-comics-unleashes-hanna-barbera-reboot-variant-covers-on-defenseless-public.htmlhttp://www.amazon.com/Cunt-Declaration-Independence-Expanded-Updated/dp/1580050751/http://www.jonjameswrites.com/p/do-gyndroids-dream-of-electric-dicks.htmlhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKrVegVI0Ushttp://www.cinemablend.com/new/Why-Suicide-Squad-Had-Bring-An-Set-Therapist-72293.html

Fucking Wally - Episode 10 Season 1In Episode 10 of We Write Weird Shit, Jake and Jon talk about the human shitsack that is Donald Trump, who they would reject to write their autobiographies, and how Jake still lives in a magical fairy land where Batman V Superman has a chance of actually being good.If you have any suggestions for stories, or questions you would like Jake and Jon to discuss, post them in the comments!Then Jon reads Jake's story about an Ant Roommate and a muffin store suggested by Kim.Next week Jake reads Jon's story about a dinosaur apocalypse suggested by Cody.Links mentioned this episode:http://www.theouthousers.com/index.php/reviews/134685-the-disobedience-wolves-can-bite-me-leaving-megalopolis-surviving-megalopolis-3-2.htmlhttp://www.theouthousers.com/index.php/reviews/134681-harder-better-faster-stronger-dirk-gentlys-holistic-detective-agency-a-spoon-too-short-2.htmlhttp://aswynn.com/http://nerdist.com/two-more-heroes-confirmed-for-batman-v-superman-dawn-of-justice/

A Bun in the Oven and Johnny's Baby - Episode 9 Season 1Welcome to the extra special Episode 9 of We Write Weird Shit! What makes it so special, you ponder sardonically to yourself. Well I'll tell you! First of all, we finally added an sign-on, a little touch that responsible podcasters started in episode one. We also tried out a new recording method that I think sounds much clearer than before. But what really makes it special is, Jake and Jon have co-written today's story, starring Jake and Jon as themselves! Thanks, Kyleigh, for the suggestion. We hope you regret it.Otherwise, we talk about, like, Star Wars and Batman and shit.Next week: An ant as a roommate and a muffin store, suggested by Kim.Links mentioned this episode:http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053125/http://mamalaz.tumblr.com/tagged/modern-solo-adventureshttps://soundcloud.com/idriselba/idris-elba-look-with-your-earshttp://www.buzzfeed.com/katienotopoulos/questions-about-mpreg-you-were-embarrassed-to-ask#.qaA2aPK07

Stumpie Gets Sick - Episode 8 Season 1Welcome to the hopefully final late episode of We Write Weird Shit! In this episode, we talk about some exciting news in our worlds of writing and R-Rated Superhero movies. That's pretty much all we got to because, let's face it, there's plenty to say.Then Jake reads Jon story about a three-legged dog and strep throat as suggested by James.Next week is an extra special secret episode where both Jake and Jon will be writing and reading!Links mentioned this episode:http://www.theouthousers.com/index.php/reviews.htmlhttp://www.brycedavidsalazar.com/http://www.cinemablend.com/new/An-R-Rated-X-Force-Movie-Here-What-Ryan-Reynolds-Says-107367.htmlhttp://batman-news.com/2016/02/23/batman-v-superman-directors-cut-rated-r/

I Ain't No Dummy - Episode 7 Season 1In this seventh episode, we discuss how Jake's friends hate us, how we suck at getting these in on time, and the luxury of being so famous that you sabotage yourself by writing under a pseudonym.Then Jon read's Jake's story about a taxidermied cat and a slock as suggested by Lori.Next week Jake reads Jon's story about a three-legged dog and strep throat suggested by Jim,Links mentioned in this episode:Random Transmissions Episode 4 featuring Hour of the Weevil-Beasts by Jon James:https://youtu.be/GBDZjTuaqQIWelcome to Night Vale:http://podbay.fm/show/536258179Harper Lee's Cocaine Overdose:http://yesclash.com/2016/02/19/live-fast-die-young-harper-lee-found-dead-in-ny-apartment-of-a-cocaine-overdose/The Outhousers, soon to be featuring reviews by Jon James:http://www.theouthousers.com/

Dickbot Ennui - Episode 6 Season 1Welcome to the exceptionally late Episode 6 of We Write Weird Shit! You can thank Jake's sick minion, and Jesus for dying, for this episode being late. In this episode we talk about Limbo, Abe Lincoln, the futility of management, and how Jake's mom most likely did not have sexual relations with an ape (hi Jake's mom!)Then Jake reads Jon's story about Unitaskers and Burgeoning AI. Next week Jon reads Jake's story about a taxidermied cat and a slock suggested by Lori.Mentioned this episode:https://soundcloud.com/history-of-dickshttp://www.reuters.com/article/us-pope-limbo-idUSL2028721620070420https://stuffblackpeoplehate.wordpress.com/tag/abraham-lincoln/

I Want a Dirty Prostitute - Episode 5 Season 1Episode 5 Constant Listeners, now with even more rape and prostitutes! In this episode we talk about Marvel Cinematic Universe, how shitty Whovians are, and Jake's fugly pants! Then Jon reads Jake's story about an hallucinogenic STD suggested by Jason.Next week Jake reads Jon's story about Unitaskers and burgeoning AI, a combined suggestion from Noah and Kyle.Links mentioned in this episode:http://www.ixchel.net/collections/pants/products/classic-patchwork-pantshttp://www.hecklerspray.com/doctor-who-fans-need-to-shut-up/201279837.phphttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RR8safAyaQhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z51vIoRnsT8

Frites Arcanes - Episode 4 Season 1Here it is, a little late but here now! Episode 4, Frites Arcanes, the one about a Magic Potato. Also featured: Animal porn, porn while driving, furries, and manuscripts!Next week Jon reads Jake's story about an Hallucinogenic STD suggested by Jason.Links mentioned this episode:http://www.projectiradio.com/the-launch-bizzong-the/https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLr9xP3BZJYF_3ddIkStPXZm7Eft23SSs2http://www.buzzfeed.com/gabrielsanchez/intense-photos-gas-attack-furry-conventionhttp://www.papermag.com/a-tale-of-two-mascots-how-furries-spurned-by-tony-the-tiger-are-being--1574536912.htmlhttp://time.com/4195216/michigan-man-dies-porn-crash/

All Hail the King - Episode 3 Season 1Episode 3 is upon us! In this episode, we lament the many tragic deaths of the week, debut our new intro with music from The Powder Burns (link below), and glorify payment in exposure. Jon reads Jake's story based on the Stephen King and Folk Punk as suggested by Rob.Next week Jake reads Jon's story about Magic and Potatoes as suggested by the Hippie.Links mentioned in this episode:https://soundcloud.com/the-powder-burnshttps://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLr9xP3BZJYF_3ddIkStPXZm7Eft23SSs2http://smile.amazon.com/Rosary-Space-Time-Ruth-Rees/dp/1568545649/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1453156553&sr=1-1&keywords=the+rosary+in+space+and+timehttp://smile.amazon.com/Gone-Girl-Gillian-Flynn/dp/0307588378/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1453156602&sr=1-1&keywords=gone+girlhttp://smile.amazon.com/T-C-Boyle-Stories-Collected-Coraghessan/dp/0143125869/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1453156608&sr=1-1&keywords=tc+boyle+stories+2http://www.newsday.com/entertainment/celebrities/recent-notable-deaths-1.1236203

Extreme Ghost Orgy Home Makeover - Episode 2 Season 1Welcome to Episode 2! In this episode, we discuss Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice, other podcasts we listen to, and why we are jealous of Stephen King and want to hatebump his face. Jake reads Jon's story about trying to renovate a house while being propositioned by its deceased residents, as suggested by Alex.Next week Jon will be reading Jake's story about Stephen King and folk punk. As always, if you have a suggestion for a future story, please post in the comments. Thanks for listening!Links mentioned in this episode:http://fistshark.com/http://randomtransmissions.libsyn.com/http://podcastone.com/Bret-Easton-Ellis-PodcastExtreme Ghost Orgy Home Makeover (c) 2016 Jon James

The Old Man - Episode 1 Season 1Episode 1 is here! In this episode, Jon reads Jake's story about a haunted music box in a restaurant, as suggested by Leslie. We also discuss Uwe Boll's Nazi Gold.Next week Jake will be reading Jon's story about trying to renovate a home while being propositioned by the house's deceased residents, as recommended by Alex, titled Extreme Ghost Orgy Home Makeover.Links mentioned in this episode:http://www.brycedavidsalazar.com/ http://www.jonjameswrites.com/https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/27255889-arachnophilehttps://smile.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/E7M5ZYOENU29/ref=cm_wl_list_o_11? https://uweboll.wordpress.com/2007/06/10/uwe-confesses-yes-my-films-are-financed-with-nazi-gold/https://www.facebook.com/Fiction440/The Old Man (C) Jacob Sailor 2016