Podcasts about relationship by design

We thought today we'd give you more excerpts from the Community Calls we have a few times a month. We take people's privacy seriously. You'll only be hearing from the leaders of Relationship By Design. If you like what you hear, consider joining us for the next call by going to the Community page on our website at RelationshipByDesign.com and sign up to receive notifications about upcoming calls. Conversations and Topics Covered Today Introduction to the topic for today Lon, Paul, and Sandy's comments Carol on COVID and Racism Paul on “handling it” Lon says “Dance with it” Closing words by Lon, Sandy, and Carol Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

We thought today we’d give you more excerpts from the Community Calls we have a few times a month. We take people’s privacy seriously. You’ll only be hearing from the leaders of Relationship By Design. If you like what you hear, consider joining us for the next call by going to the Community page on our website at RelationshipByDesign.com and sign up to receive notifications about upcoming calls. Conversations and Topics Covered Today Introduction to the topic for today Lon, Paul, and Sandy’s comments Carol on COVID and Racism Paul on “handling it” Lon says “Dance with it” Closing words by Lon, Sandy, and Carol Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

We thought today we'd give you some excerpts from the Community Calls we have a few times a month. We take people's privacy seriously. You'll only be hearing from the leaders of Relationship By Design. If you like what you hear, consider joining us for the next call by going to the Community page on our website at RelationshipByDesign.com and sign up to receive notifications about upcoming calls. Conversations and Topics Covered Today Introduction. Power. What do I have to lose? Choice and the little things. Forfeit and power. We don't know how much time we have left. Education. Live inside. I don't know. Witness. Hallucinations. Gratitude. Allow and love. Listening and racism. Love and fear. Tomorrow. Being present. Being here now. And goodbye for now. Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343 Z1q6Pl31ayoNyc4eHcYY

We thought today we’d give you some excerpts from the Community Calls we have a few times a month. We take people’s privacy seriously. You’ll only be hearing from the leaders of Relationship By Design. If you like what you hear, consider joining us for the next call by going to the Community page on our website at RelationshipByDesign.com and sign up to receive notifications about upcoming calls. Conversations and Topics Covered Today Introduction. Power. What do I have to lose? Choice and the little things. Forfeit and power. We don’t know how much time we have left. Education. Live inside. I don’t know. Witness. Hallucinations. Gratitude. Allow and love. Listening and racism. Love and fear. Tomorrow. Being present. Being here now. And goodbye for now. Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343 Z1q6Pl31ayoNyc4eHcYY

John here from San Diego in the US. Lisa’s in the U.K. It’s my turn for an episode. I’ve been working with Lon and Sandy Golnick from Relationship By Design for about a year and a half. They know more about relationship than anyone I’ve ever met in my gazillion years studying human potential and development. So one of my favorites take-aways from this work is this: “You can’t fix a relationship - because it’s not broken. You probably just don’t know what a relationship is! As you become aware of what a relationship is, things simply clear up.” That’s refreshing. Doing their workshops, I found this to be absolutely useful and true. So in a short conversation here, I discovered that they’ve worked a lot with families and parents. What we bring you here today are insights into being a parent - and NOT parenting. It’s called Parents: Outside The Trap. For more information, visit RelationshipByDesign.com. Contact Us Alternative Health Tools You can find us on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and anywhere else you get your podcasts. Contact co-hosts Lisa Victoria and John Biethan. Leave us a message on our Contact Page. Produced by John Biethan.

John here from San Diego in the US. Lisa's in the U.K. It's my turn for an episode. I've been working with Lon and Sandy Golnick from Relationship By Design for about a year and a half. They know more about relationship than anyone I've ever met in my gazillion years studying human potential and development. So one of my favorites take-aways from this work is this: “You can't fix a relationship - because it's not broken. You probably just don't know what a relationship is! As you become aware of what a relationship is, things simply clear up.” That's refreshing. Doing their workshops, I found this to be absolutely useful and true. So in a short conversation here, I discovered that they've worked a lot with families and parents. What we bring you here today are insights into being a parent - and NOT parenting. It's called Parents: Outside The Trap. For more information, visit RelationshipByDesign.com. Contact Us Alternative Health Tools You can find us on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and anywhere else you get your podcasts. Contact co-hosts Lisa Victoria and John Biethan. Leave us a message on our Contact Page. Produced by John Biethan.

How do people move from ordinary relationship to extraordinary relationship? In ordinary relationship, we react to upsets by pulling out of the experience of relationship, the experience that we actually long for.  It's extraordinary to be aware that upset, irritation or annoyance are simply our individual reactions to ordinary events.  At any given moment, you can choose to interrupt your automatic instinct to blame another for your being upset, and to stay connected to that other person. That is extraordinary. Here's an example from our life together: Carol walked into our living room, and her attention immediately zeroed in on two blankets jumbled up on the sofa – left over from Paul's nap the day before. Automatically, she thought, “Those blankets shouldn't be jumbled up. Paul should have folded them yesterday!  The couch looks messy and makes the whole room messy. I don't like it, and Paul is wrong, wrong, wrong.” We're sure you get the picture. CaroI felt irritated, at odds with Paul, and unhappy!  But something shifted when  Carol noticed that Paul didn't seem to have any of those thoughts or feelings. For him, the blankets were just the way they were. They were on the couch – simply a fact. No judgment, no story, no guilt, no irritation. The circumstance – blankets on the couch – was  the same for both of us. Yet Paul was at ease, and Carol was irritated.  That was interesting.   Extraordinary relationship starts with waking up!  Carol woke up to the price she was paying for holding on to irritation and blame: she'd lost the joy of experiencing relationship with Paul and, in that moment, her joy in being alive. Her focus had so narrowed that she didn't see any of the pleasures around her that invite her to be happy. She had pulled away from the one person who is central to her life's joy. And by the way, Carol was alone in this unhappiness because she was choosing to keep her annoyance to herself. Carol hadn't consciously chosen to feel this way. Her irritation was an automatic reaction. And she automatically blamed Paul for causing her feelings. He left the blankets, the blankets irritated her, and she was the helpless victim. (Are you snickering yet?) What woke Carol up was realizing that the same blankets (the circumstance) didn't upset Paul. She had to ask herself, was the circumstance the author of her feelings, or were her feelings simply her own reaction? When she realized that the only things “wrong” in this scene were her irritation and her opinion that Paul should be doing things her way, her irritation dissolved.   Then she invited Paul to spend a few minutes with her. Just a couple of minutes looking in each other's eyes, sharing what had just happened, followed by a hug and a laugh at how funny we humans can be. Our relationship was restored.  That was going from Ordinary to Extraordinary in our relationship, and it only took a moment.  Have you ever considered that your opinion, not the circumstance, caused your irritation with your partner, co-worker, child, boss, or parent? Did you then feel distant from  the other person? Maybe the next time you get irritated inside a relationship, you will wake up to your automatic reaction, interrupt assigning blame to the other, and make the extraordinary choice to stay connected and consider the other's point of view.  Then the two of you will have the opportunity to consider how your relationship wants to live and what your relationship will do to fulfill that shared vision.  ~ Carol Herndon and Paul Bennett (Carol&Paul), Relationship By Design workshop leaders If you'd like to join us on the Zoom call Sunday, head over to RelationShipByDesign.com and go to the Community Page. At the bottom of the page there's a place to sign-up to receive notifications about this and other upcoming Zoom community calls, where you'll be emailed the unique links you'll need to join us on the calls. And we'd love to see you there! Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

How do people move from ordinary relationship to extraordinary relationship? In ordinary relationship, we react to upsets by pulling out of the experience of relationship, the experience that we actually long for.  It’s extraordinary to be aware that upset, irritation or annoyance are simply our individual reactions to ordinary events.  At any given moment, you can choose to interrupt your automatic instinct to blame another for your being upset, and to stay connected to that other person. That is extraordinary. Here’s an example from our life together: Carol walked into our living room, and her attention immediately zeroed in on two blankets jumbled up on the sofa – left over from Paul’s nap the day before. Automatically, she thought, “Those blankets shouldn’t be jumbled up. Paul should have folded them yesterday!  The couch looks messy and makes the whole room messy. I don’t like it, and Paul is wrong, wrong, wrong.” We’re sure you get the picture. CaroI felt irritated, at odds with Paul, and unhappy!  But something shifted when  Carol noticed that Paul didn’t seem to have any of those thoughts or feelings. For him, the blankets were just the way they were. They were on the couch – simply a fact. No judgment, no story, no guilt, no irritation. The circumstance – blankets on the couch – was  the same for both of us. Yet Paul was at ease, and Carol was irritated.  That was interesting.   Extraordinary relationship starts with waking up!  Carol woke up to the price she was paying for holding on to irritation and blame: she’d lost the joy of experiencing relationship with Paul and, in that moment, her joy in being alive. Her focus had so narrowed that she didn’t see any of the pleasures around her that invite her to be happy. She had pulled away from the one person who is central to her life’s joy. And by the way, Carol was alone in this unhappiness because she was choosing to keep her annoyance to herself. Carol hadn’t consciously chosen to feel this way. Her irritation was an automatic reaction. And she automatically blamed Paul for causing her feelings. He left the blankets, the blankets irritated her, and she was the helpless victim. (Are you snickering yet?) What woke Carol up was realizing that the same blankets (the circumstance) didn’t upset Paul. She had to ask herself, was the circumstance the author of her feelings, or were her feelings simply her own reaction? When she realized that the only things “wrong” in this scene were her irritation and her opinion that Paul should be doing things her way, her irritation dissolved.   Then she invited Paul to spend a few minutes with her. Just a couple of minutes looking in each other’s eyes, sharing what had just happened, followed by a hug and a laugh at how funny we humans can be. Our relationship was restored.  That was going from Ordinary to Extraordinary in our relationship, and it only took a moment.  Have you ever considered that your opinion, not the circumstance, caused your irritation with your partner, co-worker, child, boss, or parent? Did you then feel distant from  the other person? Maybe the next time you get irritated inside a relationship, you will wake up to your automatic reaction, interrupt assigning blame to the other, and make the extraordinary choice to stay connected and consider the other’s point of view.  Then the two of you will have the opportunity to consider how your relationship wants to live and what your relationship will do to fulfill that shared vision.  ~ Carol Herndon and Paul Bennett (Carol&Paul), Relationship By Design workshop leaders If you’d like to join us on the Zoom call Sunday, head over to RelationShipByDesign.com and go to the Community Page. At the bottom of the page there’s a place to sign-up to receive notifications about this and other upcoming Zoom community calls, where you’ll be emailed the unique links you’ll need to join us on the calls. And we’d love to see you there! Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

In this episode, Sandy&Lon continue with John briefly educating us on a coaching course they had done years ago for parents titled Parents: Outside The Trap. Are you interested in knowing more about the course? Let us know here. If you'd like to join us on Zoom for community “What's On Your Mind?” calls, click here and add yourself to the notification list.  If you're new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

In this episode, Sandy&Lon continue with John briefly educating us on a coaching course they had done years ago for parents titled Parents: Outside The Trap. Are you interested in knowing more about the course? Let us know here. If you’d like to join us on Zoom for community “What’s On Your Mind?” calls, click here and add yourself to the notification list.  If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

In this episode, John Biethan the producer of the podcast, asks Sandy&Lon for their comments on his thoughts about "arrangements." In some family relationships, in certain conditions, and when people get together in relationship and marriage, there “may” be a conscious or unconscious “arrangement and/or agreement” at play. In the next episode, Sandy&Lon discuss their workshop titled “Parents: Outside The Trap.” If you're new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

In this episode, John Biethan the producer of the podcast, asks Sandy&Lon for their comments on his thoughts about "arrangements." In some family relationships, in certain conditions, and when people get together in relationship and marriage, there “may” be a conscious or unconscious “arrangement and/or agreement” at play. In the next episode, Sandy&Lon discuss their workshop titled “Parents: Outside The Trap.” If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

Subtitled: An Individual-based paradigm In this episode, we've taken the liberty of starting off with the last few minutes of the previous episode 10, Strike 2: Fear In Relationships Part 2, where Sandy&Lon talk about relationships during the holiday season. For more insights into the impact the holidays may have on your relationships, listen to episode 6, Strike 1: The Fantasy, and episode 8, Strike 2: Fear In Relationships Part 1. If you're new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

Subtitled: An Individual-based paradigm In this episode, we’ve taken the liberty of starting off with the last few minutes of the previous episode 10, Strike 2: Fear In Relationships Part 2, where Sandy&Lon talk about relationships during the holiday season. For more insights into the impact the holidays may have on your relationships, listen to episode 6, Strike 1: The Fantasy, and episode 8, Strike 2: Fear In Relationships Part 1. If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com  Continuing on from episode 008 Strike 2: Fear In Relationships Part 1, today Sandy&Lon take a deeper look into fear and what happens when it feeds into relationships when they're shaped. If you're new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com  Continuing on from episode 008 Strike 2: Fear In Relationships Part 1, today Sandy&Lon take a deeper look into fear and what happens when it feeds into relationships when they're shaped. If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com If you really listen to yourselves talking about your relationships, you'll hear (1) how often you exaggerate with “always” and “never” - which fills your future with your past - and (2) how often you unconsciously talk about what happened in the past as if it's happening now - which also fills your future with your past. Having a future filled with the past - which is, in a very real sense, forfeiting your future to the past - is the definition of resignation, which literally means “marked or signed again.” Today, a friend of ours spoke about how his wife “wakes me when she gets up early in the morning, and I can't get back to sleep again.” By speaking in that way, he had what happened yesterday (and perhaps some other days in the past) as happening now and into the future. That produces resignation. That's very different than saying “yesterday, and several other days recently, my wife awakened me when she got up early in the morning and I didn't go back to sleep again.” The latter way of speaking - saying what happened as what happened rather than as what's happening - puts the past in the past and produces the room for a new future, an opportunity to create another way of relating in future mornings. Creating new possible ways of behaving together resolves issues in your relationships rather than extends issues of the past into the present and future. And it's all a function of being aware of the automatic, unthinking way you have been speaking. Saying what happened in the past as though it's happening now is not unique to you. You live in a “linguistic environment” in which exactly that way of speaking is the norm and keeps most people - and their relationships - stuck in the past. When you get unstuck from the past, there's nothing to fix.  There's a future to be created together.    If you're new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com If you really listen to yourselves talking about your relationships, you’ll hear (1) how often you exaggerate with “always” and “never” - which fills your future with your past - and (2) how often you unconsciously talk about what happened in the past as if it’s happening now - which also fills your future with your past. Having a future filled with the past - which is, in a very real sense, forfeiting your future to the past - is the definition of resignation, which literally means “marked or signed again.” Today, a friend of ours spoke about how his wife “wakes me when she gets up early in the morning, and I can’t get back to sleep again.” By speaking in that way, he had what happened yesterday (and perhaps some other days in the past) as happening now and into the future. That produces resignation. That’s very different than saying “yesterday, and several other days recently, my wife awakened me when she got up early in the morning and I didn’t go back to sleep again.” The latter way of speaking - saying what happened as what happened rather than as what’s happening - puts the past in the past and produces the room for a new future, an opportunity to create another way of relating in future mornings. Creating new possible ways of behaving together resolves issues in your relationships rather than extends issues of the past into the present and future. And it’s all a function of being aware of the automatic, unthinking way you have been speaking. Saying what happened in the past as though it’s happening now is not unique to you. You live in a “linguistic environment” in which exactly that way of speaking is the norm and keeps most people - and their relationships - stuck in the past. When you get unstuck from the past, there’s nothing to fix.  There’s a future to be created together.    If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com  Commitments and promises are the foundation for every relationship. What is the basis for your relationships? For ALL relationships? There's a foundation that all relationships rest, lay, or stand on. For the most part, as human beings, we haven't really looked at what our relationships stand on. Today, Sandy and Lon explore what the basis is for all relationships. If you're new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com  Commitments and promises are the foundation for every relationship. What is the basis for your relationships? For ALL relationships? There’s a foundation that all relationships rest, lay, or stand on. For the most part, as human beings, we haven’t really looked at what our relationships stand on. Today, Sandy and Lon explore what the basis is for all relationships. If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com  Today Paul Bennett from Relationship By Design is reading his blog post about Politics and Relationships.  There's a lot of dissatisfaction and unhappiness in American politics today. There's a lot of dissatisfaction and unhappiness in relationships, too. Could there be a connection?  All of us want politics to deliver what we want. What does your own list of wants include? Safe communities, a clean environment, world peace, sound infrastructure, education? What else?  We're in relationships to get what we want, too. We enter marriages for love and family, for example. Business relationships are for profit. Friendships deliver mutual support, a sense of connection, fun … and more.  Click here to read the complete article. If you're new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com  Today Paul Bennett from Relationship By Design is reading his blog post about Politics and Relationships.  There’s a lot of dissatisfaction and unhappiness in American politics today. There’s a lot of dissatisfaction and unhappiness in relationships, too. Could there be a connection?  All of us want politics to deliver what we want. What does your own list of wants include? Safe communities, a clean environment, world peace, sound infrastructure, education? What else?  We’re in relationships to get what we want, too. We enter marriages for love and family, for example. Business relationships are for profit. Friendships deliver mutual support, a sense of connection, fun … and more.  Click here to read the complete article. If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com  Today Sandy and Lon Golnick are talking about the “fantasy” in a relationship they call Strike 1. They'll be covering the problems; what you're looking for; everything you want, all the time, everywhere, w/everyone, forever - and that fantasy is not going away. If you're new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com  Today Sandy and Lon Golnick are talking about the “fairy tale” in a relationship they call Strike 1. They’ll be covering the problems; what you’re looking for; everything you want, all the time, everywhere, w/everyone, forever - and that fantasy is not going away. If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com  Unseen conditions undermine effectiveness. Today Sandy and Lon Golnick take a look at what's hidden from our view when we have upsets or concerns, and breakdowns in relationships. So what happens when you don't see what's actually going on?  If you're new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com  Unseen conditions undermine effectiveness. Today Sandy and Lon Golnick take a look at what’s hidden from our view when we have upsets or concerns, and breakdowns in relationships. So what happens when you don’t see what’s actually going on?  If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com  Subtitled: Synonyms, characteristics, actions; you don't know; problems; blame. Today Sandy and Lon Golnick have a short conversation discussing “What is a relationship?” The question is not answered here, but what's given are a few things to consider when attempting to understand what a relationship is. If you're new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com  Subtitled: Synonyms, characteristics, actions; you don’t know; problems; blame. Today Sandy and Lon Golnick have a short conversation discussing “What is a relationship?” The question is not answered here, but what’s given are a few things to consider when attempting to understand what a relationship is. If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com  Today Sandy and Lon Golnick have a short conversation about the 3 facts about relationships in hopes of leaving you with questioning, wondering, and curiosity about relationships. Relationships are natural. There is no escaping breakdowns in your relationships even though relationship is natural. People don't know what a relationship is. If you're new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com  Today Sandy and Lon Golnick have a short conversation about the 3 facts about relationships in hopes of leaving you with questioning, wondering, and curiosity about relationships. Relationships are natural. There is no escaping breakdowns in your relationships even though relationship is natural. People don’t know what a relationship is. If you’re new to Relationship By Design start here: Episode 001 Get Real About Relationship Contact Us Sandy & Lon Golnickwww.RelationshipByDesign.com760-603-8343

www.RelationshipByDesign.com Lon and Sandy Golnick were interviewed in the mid-2000s by their good friend and associate Jill Raiguel, MS, MST, and who is a California Marriage & Family Therapist. It was recorded and engineered by Bill Corkery Productions. The recording became a CD which we've released here as the first podcast episode for Relationship By Design. What follows is the original CD liner notes. This episode contains 3 parts to the interview: Fantasy "I" Base Conditions If you have been disappointed, upset or frustrated in your relationships, or if your relationships have become mundane or ordinary, this is for you! Neither you nor the others in your relationships - whether intimate, family, work or community relationships - planned it to be that way. So maybe it's not your fault, or theirs. Maybe the fault lies in misunderstandings that you and they have unwittingly been drawn into about the whole nature and design of relationship. Get Real About Relationship explores the traps built into the design of relationships and sets you free to experience a new peace, ease, and fulfillment in all your relationships. Credits Jill Raiguel, MS, MST, California Marriage & Family Therapist www.JilliBean.com JillRaiguel@gmail.com Bill Corkery Productions www.BCProductions.com Sandy & Lon Golnick Sandy@RelationshipByDesign.com 760-603-8343 www.RelationshipByDesign.com

www.RelationshipByDesign.com  Lon and Sandy Golnick were interviewed in the mid-2000s by their good friend and associate Jill Raiguel, MS, MST, and who is a California Marriage & Family Therapist. It was recorded and engineered by Bill Corkery Productions. The recording became a CD which we've released here as the first podcast episode for Relationship By Design. What follows is the original CD liner notes. This episode contains 3 parts to the interview: Fantasy "I" Base Conditions If you have been disappointed, upset or frustrated in your relationships, or if your relationships have become mundane or ordinary, this is for you! Neither you nor the others in your relationships - whether intimate, family, work or community relationships - planned it to be that way. So maybe it's not your fault, or theirs. Maybe the fault lies in misunderstandings that you and they have unwittingly been drawn into about the whole nature and design of relationship. Get Real About Relationship explores the traps built into the design of relationships and sets you free to experience a new peace, ease, and fulfillment in all your relationships. Credits Jill Raiguel, MS, MST, California Marriage & Family Therapistwww.JilliBean.comJillRaiguel@gmail.com   Bill Corkery Productionswww.BCProductions.com  Sandy & Lon GolnickSandy@RelationshipByDesign.com760-603-8343 www.RelationshipByDesign.com

The first step towards a healthy and thriving relationship of any kind is to know yourself. When people talk about trying to find themselves, have you ever wonder what the hell that means. Or more specifically, how does one go about actually “finding” themselves.From sexual or relational orientation to the way we show and receive love, knowing who we are and how we show up in the world is key to designing relationships we can thrive in. Effy chats with a diverse set of Foxes on this live panel.If you have a question that you would like to explore on the show, reach out to us and we may answer your question on one of our upcoming episodes. Leave us a voicemail at 201-870-0063 or email us at listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comFollow us:fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxesinstagram.com/wearecuriousfoxesJoin the conversation:fb.com/groups/CuriousFoxSupport us:partreon.com/wearecuriousfoxesSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/wearecuriousfoxes)

Hannah and Ben are roommates, siblings, and creative partners. But are they GOOD at any of those things? This episode Effy Blue – the brains behind "Relationship by Design" uses Love Languages to help the Greene siblings improve their quality time. Plus, Ben and Hannah attend the Curious Fox Spring Soirée to learn all the ways you can show love to your loved ones.This episode was made in partnership with Curious Fox. Learn more about Effy Blue, Curious Fox, and Relationship by Design!

Are you focused on what you get from your relationship, or do you consider what you bring to your relationship?

What an honor it is to connect with Sandy and Lon in this episode, as not only have they committed themselves to a 54 year marriage, but they have given their past 15 years to helping couples design their own relationship.  Relationships are all about growth as individuals and as a couple, so join us as Sandy and Lon share about how to "challenge" your partner to grow outside their comfort zone.  Questions asked in this interview What would you say is the purpose of a romantic relationship? What do you see is one of the biggest challenges in the current idea of relationships? If a couple feels their life is far off from their ideal design, where can they begin? How can you challenge your partner to grow, when uncomfortable or reach any limitation? How do you handle tense conversations or disagreements? Does it get easier over time? Is there anything you wish you could go back and tell yourselves 20 years ago?   In this episode you will learn: What the highest level intention is for your relationship. How to "challenge" your partner to grow beyond their comfort zone to strengthen your relationship.  Quotes: "Previously, relationships were seen as a way to get something, that otherwise you wouldn't obtain"  Bio of guest: Joining us today is Lon and Sandy Golnick, co-founders of Relationship By Design, together they have been leading workshops, seminars and trainings in the fields of relationships, families and business relations for over 40 years. They bring 53 years of marriage, plus their experience as parents of two daughters and six grandchildren. Lon and Sandy have the unique skill to listen intently and compassionately to engage people in being full partners to generate new opportunities in their relationships. They are dedicated to you experiencing being intimately related, appreciated and fulfilled. Lets jump right in to hearing from them how to Challenge Your Partner To Grow Outside Their Comfort Zone! Resources: Connect more with this incredible guest here: http://relationshipbydesign.com Connect more with The Freemans at www.MeetTheFreemans.com and follow them on instagram: @meet_thefreemans