2 Blondes 1 Brain

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Do you crave the half cocked rambles of two bleach-brains? Does the embodiment of rage and caffeine sound like your kind of people? Welcome to the organized chaos that Hazen and Erika have jointly birthed. Our midwife was Moira Rose. We have vegan poutine

Erika & Hazen


    • May 26, 2023 LATEST EPISODE
    • monthly NEW EPISODES
    • 37m AVG DURATION
    • 41 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from 2 Blondes 1 Brain

    Eye Twitching Through It

    Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2023 20:20


    It's a shorty but a goody. A prequel, if you will. Hazen, the embodiment of Link from The Legend of Zelda, and Erika, the devil—as some surely envision her, are back. With a hasty cup of tea. We're reuniting in a week and will provide all the thoughts we had after we ended this recording, with the addition of special guests!

    Toyota Crayola and Mist

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 1, 2023 38:16


    Our entire lives are spent coming up with subpar drag names for ourselves—we can never have enough identities. This week, experience Mr. Ring as Erika did, and Hazen as he shares the dangers of being a mail man. Happy International Bear Convergence! (Also if you're a skinny white boy in southern Utah, we talk shit on you here. xo)

    You Know She's a Girl, Right?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 29, 2023 29:58


    Listen to what Hazen got Erika's little sister and brother into over a weekend in Palm Springs, how Hazen served an unassuming Craigslist woman more than just tea, and Erika complain.

    Is Erika Even Canadian?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 4, 2023 29:36


    Erika shares some TMI couple's advice, while Hazen takes notes. Apparently Canadian's don't believe in a tick (Erika actively gagged upon googling when a picture of a tick popped up) related disease? Hazen said so, so it must be fact. Don't fault us for not knowing anything—we're hot.

    Go Away Grandma

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 15, 2022 35:28


    Hazen is back in Utah! For the day. Erika demonstrates what petty vengeance is to a family member who previously struggled with the definition of it (she has 3 immediate family members blocked at the time of this message), and both of the blondes apologize to Edgar.

    Season 32

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 16, 2022 27:15


    Or whatever. What's up bitches, we're back, again, once more, today, with an episode. Consider it our re-re-entry into podcasting. Hot girl summer was giving winter downies this year with temperatures from hell thanks to global warming, so that's what we're blaming our absence on. But stfu because here's an episode, a shit one because Erika couldn't figure out how to connect her laptop to wifi (bitch wtf), but an episode nonetheless. Erika has since reconnected her Lenovo to the internet.

    ABORT ABORT

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 21, 2022 28:32


    hello season 3! Thank you for surviving this long after we took a hot break, but we're back ya boobs. Today Hazen shares his exclusive estate sale endeavours, and Erika is still grim. Enjoy! xx

    High Demand Hazen Hazard

    Play Episode Listen Later May 28, 2022 24:01


    As titled, this is a hazardly Hazen episode and we are thriving vicariously thru his antics. Featuring Kasey today! Tune in for an update on the movement we started at Ol*ve G*arden, why Hazen needs to lower his standards, and which doormats give Erika nightmares.

    After ‘borty Brecky

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 24, 2022 27:26


    This week, a recovering Hazen and a namaste Erika tackle an old foe (who never showed up to fight), covered why str8 men are not long for this world, and discussed the world's most heinous professor. Do tune in. Remember to rate and review! Follow us on instagram: @2b1b.pod

    Watermelon Boob Bitches

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 15, 2022 35:19


    No holds barred, the team is introducing a new segment that's already Erika's favorite: Rewind and Roast. As a reformed bully, she's ready to redirect to wreck the deserving troglodytes and ravage their egos. Hazen dishes on his one drag appearance, and mentally prepares to gather content from Coachella invading his home.

    Mormon Lore, Part 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 8, 2022 47:18


    Concluding the results of the polls re: things people grew up believing in the Mormon church. As always, topped off with our Trauma or Treasure segment!

    Mormon Lore & Dickskin Gore

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 31, 2022 59:47


    Exactly what the title says, sorry. But also a top tier episode if you're fascinated by the weird things some mormons believe/teach. Also listen about Erika's ex, Hazen's churchy experience, and the ironic reasons why some men wouldn't take birth control.

    Miss Dishonorable Discharge

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 19, 2022 44:10


    Surprise special guest! He speaks on his life in the navy (barf but we love him), and compares notes between Vegas/California proms vs. Hazen's Utah promenades. Trigger warning: flesh pedestrians; google it if you don't know but apparently don't say it out loud! Also, both blondes single-handedly fight the sticker war on gas pumps. Follow us on instagram: 2b1b.pod

    The Birds & The Heebee-jeebees

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 8, 2022 62:21


    Introducing our new segment: Trauma or Treasure! You can guess what that's about. We also break down how the algorithms work—are our phones listening to us?! And some work anecdotes! The dramaaa.

    International Bear Convergence

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2022 40:26


    If you don't know what it is, get ready to find out. Also, listen to part of the reason why Erika quit her ridiculous job and now chooses the life of worklessness.

    Focused: Modern Pronatalism

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 17, 2022 43:11


    Learn what that word means, what a current senator says about women, and how to shut down an invasive Irene. (Hazen literally fell asleep recording this episode.)

    Move Over Craig Krush

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 8, 2022 46:28


    Hazen is a sickly sand crab in Mexico and Erika dives into some Canadian ragrets.

    Bulbasaur Bitch

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 21, 2022 39:25


    Erika quit her hellscape job! 10/10 recommend just leaving a note and blocking your boss. Hazen is an NFT gal.

    Soaking Seamonkeys

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 12, 2022 52:13


    Back to spill some workplace happenings and educate the fans on Utah-based religious Virginity clauses.

    Erika's Invisible Roommate

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2021 45:54


    Decide if Erika has a roommate or if she's just unmedicated, while Hazen's husband becomes a swamp witch—I mean movie star.

    Tara Hyman in a Tesla

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2021 34:21


    Tune in for our first attempt at long-distance podding and the tea on Hazen's clientele.

    High-five My Butt

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 10, 2021 39:46


    SEASON 2 TWEEDLE DICKS. We're back, we're angry, we're confused. It's fine and Utah is still as fun as a dog's unexpressed anal gland. You'll get it I promise.

    Slutty Cow Summer

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2021 44:56


    Erika and Hazen rejoin the podcast life to bring their loyal listeners some reality checks (or reminders to dish out the reality checks to local yocals). #babymodel and drone daddies.

    Blondes for Pokémon

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 26, 2021 37:28


    Recently re-obsessed with Pokémon GO (make sure to add us—trainer codes on our Instagram @2blondes1brain.pod), Hazen and Erika camp next to another construction site to yell about Dr. Seuss, white men, and Hazen's middle name. And other things.

    Blondes in the Field

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2021 30:35


    Hazen and Erika—feeling risky—park next to a construction site at night to record this one.

    The Final Bath Bomb

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 29, 2021 41:27


    Sing it like “it's the final countdown” and then listen to the episode and you'll get it.

    A Woman Named Hotpot

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 6, 2021 43:44


    We haven't seen each other in a minute so ENJOY (you aren't allowed to not) us being p(r)etty muah

    Bleach Babes - Feminism Edition

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 3, 2020 47:46


    2 + 1 = ...a lot of bleached scalps, discussing their experiences with feminism across state and country lines. Featuring our first guest, bitches xo

    Ugly Equines & Astigmatisms

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2020 28:57


    Hazen gets Twitter famous and dives in on his astigmatism we didn't know he had! Erika calls her horse and her sister's (recent) ex boyfriend ugly. Tune in for the local tea!

    ugly hazen equines
    That's Hot.

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 19, 2020 34:17


    Paris Hilton is a genius??? Also local drama, how to take a shot, and Hazen poisoned himself to avoid recording this episode.

    Cryptids & Chuckwallas

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 9, 2020 37:08


    You're just going to have to listen to understand. V educational. 10/10.

    Normalize the C word

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 27, 2020 39:53


    It's a meme format on Twitter you get it you get it. We almost lost this episode but Hazen cast a spell and it re-appeared xo

    Goodbye to all our friends' racist moms

    Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2020 36:02


    If you unfollowed us for posting about current events and how we h8 racists, good. We also cover our thoughts on The Bee Movie, 90 Day Fiancé, and Erika's wild employment status.

    TMZ and Murder Bees

    Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2020 29:06


    We discovered our intro! See also: current events ft. Homicidal hornets and pervy married cops. Old men really are all the same.

    Crispy Areolas

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 25, 2020 32:54


    It's the part of the tit that encompasses the nip. Is that how you spell that fucking word or what because google is giving me so many varieties

    Nordic Blonde or Iodized Salt?

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2020 33:45


    Miss Rona is featured in today's episode, with a surprise celebrity summoning as well!

    Happy Endings

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 9, 2020 32:05


    Roe v. Wade is this week's learning topic! We also discuss how little we value our lives via buying cheap plane tickets in today's pandemic world.

    BOOM you're educated

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2020 32:24


    Just kidding. We thought we had structure this time and instead we talk about old white men and other ronchy catastrophes. We're still cuter than the cartoon versions of us that we bought this week (cruise our Instagram) so it's fine!

    He Wants the Salad

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 23, 2020 35:12


    Sick and Sicker are here this week to discuss Wicca, voting habits, phantom managers, and how much Hazen's husband wants a salad.

    how'd we talk for 53 minutes

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 9, 2020 53:21


    The pair loudly tiptoes around some controversial takes, with some work drama thrown in—WHAT'S NEW.

    EPISODE ZERO, bitches

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 17, 2020 17:14


    Hello, unwarranted rants! We're so sorry you're listening to this, but less sorry if you're negatively featured in it xoxo episode 0 because we're virgins hi

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