American Poly: The Podcast

HELLO!  Ohmigosh it's sooo good to be back!  After an unplanned break in shows, Julie and Matt are back in action with an episode to catch you up on what's happening in their lives, some fun lifestyle experiences (and some not so fun) over the past few months and exciting events coming up!  Also discussed are honing your listening skills inside your relationship, and how to help you partner through stress - be it lifestyle or vanilla life related. More great episodes are to come!  And more surprising news!  Stay tuned!

Hello everyone and happy holidays!  After a 5 week unplanned break, Matt and Julie are finally back in action with a fabulous new episode for you to enjoy!  Listen in to the latest and greatest podcast when they interview new play friends, talk about first experiences and do's/do not's in the beginning, and of course, the bragging rights to 33 DAYS OF SEX!  Lots of great topics are covered, from ghosting to fantasies, so listen in and as always, share your opinion or thoughts with us at julie@american-poly.com.  Have a wonderful and safe holiday! 

Hello AP Fans!  Finally, a new episode is up and ready for your listening pleasure...and this one is a great talk for all of you who have been in the lifestyle a little while, and would like to take stock of how your relationship is going in regards to where you started and where you are now on your ENM journey.  Matt and Julie talk about their relationship, and what they like/dislike about the journey they have been on, what they see in each other while participating in the lifestyle, and where they hope the next couple of years will take them.  As always, send your comments to julie@american-poly.com; we love to hear from you!

Hey AP Fans!  Get ready for a great episode featuring the lovely Ashley and Sam as your hosts Julie and Matt interview them on their foray into individual ENM dating.  Hear their story on how they got started, the pitfalls and triumphs, and get great advice on how to overcome jealousy and balance home life with dating.  We love to hear from our listeners, so drop us a line with your thoughts or stories at julie@american-poly.com or on our website on the blog!  Happy Listening!

Hey everyone!  Happy fall!  This episode is geared toward the newbies out there, as Matt and Julie recently attended a swingers event and met two new couples who had lots of questions.  From boundary talk to catching feelings to STD's, the conversation was varied and pretty in depth with both couples.  Listen in to hear their thoughts and perceptions, plus tips and advice for other new couples.  As always, your comments are appreciated and welcome at julie@american-poly or on the website at www.american-poly.com!

Ever wonder what it's like to attend a lifestyle hotel takeover party?  Join Julie and Matt as they discuss their recent trip revisiting old friends and making new ones along the way!  This segment included live audio from the hotel room in between events as your hosts talk about the fun they are having plus tips, tidbits, and pitfalls that can help you feel more comfortable at your first event!  Also, don't forget the 1st birthday of American Poly is next week on 9/15!  Hurry and follow us on Instagram @julieamericanpoly to be entered into our drawing for free swag!  

Ever wonder how single women in the lifestyle think?  Or about the fun they have?  Or how you can approach them or seek a threesome?  Then this episode is for you!  Matt interviews the lovely Gemma and Julie on their experiences in the ENM lifestyle as Unicorns.  Give a listen to hear their stories and opinions on how the dynamic worked for them, and hear about the great aspects and the not so great!  Do you have unicorn experiences to share?  As always, find us on Instagram or email us at julie@american-poly.com, we love hearing from our listeners!

Hey AP fans! Here's the latest and greatest from Julie and Matt, an open, perhaps slightly biased podcast covering the one penis policy and how they feel about it, and when they have encountered this boundary in the lifestyle; plus thoughts on how to talk about OPP if your partner is asking for that limitation.  Also included is a roster of upcoming podcasts plus new social media contact info!  You can now reach out on Instagram, Twitter, Reddit, and Facebook!  Check out our website at www.american-poly.com for links to all the various ways you can contact the show, as always, your stories, thoughts, or comments are welcomed!

Hey AP fans!  Here's the next episode in the life and minds of Julie and Matt.  This podcast is all about stigmas, have you ever felt judged in your ENM journey?  From our bodies to our boundaries, Julie and Matt talk about the times they've felt people were critical of them, and the times they were a little guilty of being too judgey of someone else.  As always, we love to hear from our listeners, so please feel free to comment at julie@american-poly.com or on our website at www.american-poly.com under the blog!    

Hey everyone!  Welcome to the newest episode of American Poly!  This one is kind of a serious topic that we all can relate with; showing empathy in our relationships.  Have you ever had a situation where your partner was upset about something and you struggled to understand?  Julie and Matt talk about their struggles in ENM and how they use empathy to understand each other and to communicate more effectively.  Listen in and let us know how you feel, and as always we encourage your thoughts or stories at julie@american-poly.com or online at www.american-poly.com.  

Welcome everyone!  Season 2 episode 8 cover a pretty controversial, hot topic in the lifestyle...do you suit up?  Are condoms a must?  Matt and Julie tackle the topic with their own personal opinions and practices, plus discuss comments from friends who are in STD advocacy and public health.  They also mention their reasons for being pro-condom in the past, and how they plan to approach future situations.  There's a little bit for everyone here, along with information about where to find testing facilities, and how often it's recommended to go in.  Join in with your thoughts on the blog at www.american-poly.com or email us at Julie@american-poly.com.

Welcome to summer to all our listeners!  This episode is a great one for new beginnings, as Julie and Matt talk about how to start a discussion with your partner about opening your relationship to the lifestyle; be it swinging, or poly, or ENM.  There are so many things to think about first, and they touch on a few of the pro's and con's; as well as some key topics they think are pretty important to consider.  Join them for an in-depth conversation that includes a few examples of what NOT to do, as well as a little advice, J&M style!  As always, your comments and thoughts are encouraged on the blog at www.american-poly.com or direct at julie@american-poly.com.  Now, go soak up some summer sunshine!

Calling all guys (and gals!) who struggle to understand what women are looking for in ENM relationships and swinging situations....we have the podcast for you!  Join hosts Julie and Matt as they ask a panel of lovely ladies: what do you look for in a partner, what turns you on or off, what are your green flags/red flags, and also tips and advice for guys on how they like to be approached or flirted with.  This episode is full of laughs, teasing, and lots of flirting!  Poor Matt had his work cut out keeping all the girls on topic and focused....but we secretly know he LOVED it!!  There is sure to be a round two, and we would love to field some questions from the listeners, so please drop us a line at www.american-poly.com on the blog, or email at julie@american-poly.com.

Happy Spring everyone, and welcome to S2E5, this podcast covers a few different types of voyeurism in the lifestyle along with Matt and Julie's own experiences and thoughts about the fetish.  From cuckold to full swap, there is a range of situations and experiences that fit into this particular kink!  Join them and hear about their stories, and the reasons they like to watch each other; plus listen to the discussion about the range of emotions they have felt from jealously to excitement.  Are you a voyeur?  Exhibitionist maybe?  Does watching your partner excite you or make you feel insecure?  Share your thoughts and stories at julie@american-poly.com or at www.american-poly.com!  

Ever heard someone say that something was a red flag in a relationship?  Or maybe a yellow? This episode talks about common red and yellow flags that Julie and Matt encounter in open ENM or swinging relationships, and also the green ones that they look for that make for the best partners and play.  What defines a red, yellow, or green flag?  That depends on your boundaries, your desires, and your unique situation.  Join Julie and Matt as they talk about their flags and what they encounter out the the dating world.  As always, your comments and opinions are important; please share them on the blog at www.american-poly or at julie@american-poly.com!

Join your hosts Matt and Julie for a great discussion about how their quad dynamic with Sam and Ashley communicates to each other and how they have adapted to now add John and Caroline!  This is a great episode about how they maintain the health of their quad+ relationships while managing time constraints and their own commitment to each other...which can get challenging!  If only we could invent a time machine... As always, they welcome your thoughts and stories, please email at julie@american-poly.com or visit the website at www.american-poly.com!    

In the final episode of the three part series Julie and Matt posted a question to their Reddit followers...what makes for great play in the lifestyle?  Is it group sex?  Connections? Cohesiveness?  Listen in and hear their opinions, and a few of the responses they got back!  Wish you'd been able to comment too?  Have a fabulous story to share?  As always, reach out to them at julie@american-poly.com, on Reddit at julie_matt, or the website at www.american-poly.com. 

This episode could have been titled "lifestyle bloopers"!  Julie and Matt share stories of missed opportunities and misread signals; which end with them not getting to play!  Don't worry though, there are also a few good memories of when everything went right and the night was fireworks...:)  Also, they share some insight about expectations, and tips for reading the signals with a new couple in the lifestyle.  They love to hear comments, please feel free to email them at Julie@american-poly.com, or comment on Instagram @julieamericanpoly, or on the website, www.american-poly.com!

Welcome to Episode 2 of Season 2!  This is the first ever three part series that Matt and Julie have put together; part one is all about sensuality and play tips for newbies.  They share their "go bag" contents (everyone needs one!), tips for first time play to set the mood, and to bring a little sensuality into the game.  Listen and laugh along with them as they discuss how to dial the heat up a notch or two with just a little bit of planning!

Hey Everyone!  Season two opens with a more personal twist!  All through season one you hear Julie and Matt talk about different topics within the ENM lifestyle from jealousy to how to say no thanks to a situation; now you get to learn more about who they are!  They share their backstories, how they met, and the dynamic of their relationship.  Ever wonder how they themselves started in the ENM lifestyle?  Listen now and find out!  Comments are always encouraged on the website blog or email at julie@american-poly.com!

The last episode of season one ends with an open discussion about boundaries.  Julie and Matt discuss some of their own no-go’s and why they have them, plus situations and problems they have experienced in the lifestyle when boundaries do not sync up.  Also, what can happen when a line gets crossed!  This is a great episode for newbies and veterans alike, and always a good topic to refresh on.  Do you have any boundary questions?  Situations you wished you had handled differently?  Reach out at julie@american-poly.com or leave a comment on the blog!

Happy Valentines Day everyone!  This episode will have you all aflutter and hopefully will give you some insight for thinking about how you give and receive love. Julie and Matt discuss how they show affection and love to each other and how understanding what your partners need emotionally can help you be a better spouse, partner, or lover in return.  As always, your comments and thoughts are welcome on our blog and via email!

The title might fool you a little, but this discussion is all about guilt in the lifestyle.  From religious views to feeling guilty for having too good a time with a new partner to shame over asking for what you want, Julie and Matt discuss the spectrum of uncomfortable feelings in the lifestyle.  Included are examples of what makes us feel guilty, and how we mitigate those emotions when they crop up.  As always, please leave us your comments, or send us an email with your story, we love hearing from our listeners!

Matt and Julie discuss the utter euphoria they feel when they meet a couple and everyone is so into each other and their confidence soars!  Then the confusion and insecurity they feel when a couple ghosts or steps back.  We all have moments when our confidence gets shaken and we doubt ourselves a little.   Listen in and let us know your thoughts, we would love to hear what helps boost your confidence or what leaves saying WTF?

We did it, finally, after a little creative persuasion (you know what we mean!), we got our close friends Sam and Ashley to sit down with us and talk about their experiences in the lifestyle.  We discuss getting started, bluefishing, the good, the bad, and even getting outed!  Join us for some excellent laughs, one liners, and all the shenanigans four amazing friends come up with.  We apologize for the crazy laughter; it always is part of our time together!  Let us know on the blog what you think of our first interview! 

Who doesn’t love a good threesome?  If you said me…well, first you might be crazy, and second, Julie and Matt have some advice that might change your mind! Join them in this podcast as they discuss their own search for a unicorn and a bluefish.  Learn the fascination, the places they look, and the ideas they have about threesome play.  Also, they discuss great tips and tidbits about relationship health and maintaining your primary core while adding new interests.  As always, we value your feedback, and any personal opinions you have or ideas on the topic, please post them to our online blog!

One of the fun pastimes Matt and Julie love to do together is scroll through Reddit and read the questions people in the swinging and poly lifestyles ask.  We discuss them with each other, and sometimes comment back!  We indulged ourselves with a podcast all about our little hobby, and hope that you enjoy the randomness of our conversation.  Some of the topics covered are: performance anxiety, struggling to find like-minded partners, and a tiny bit of advice for the bluefish out there.  We hope you enjoy and would love any feedback you have!

Join us for an interesting conversation about what happened when Matt could not attend a lifestyle event but encouraged Julie to go without him.  Listen along as we reflect back on that weekend, and talk about the issues that cropped up; how we each felt about “going stag” and the advice we both have for couples who may find themselves in a similar situation in the future. Matt joins us remotely for this podcast, as he was traveling, which got us thinking we should discuss this theme!  As always, let us know your thoughts and comments, we look forward to hearing from you!

This episode will have you laughing, and probably saying, (Oh!!), that happened to us too!  It is interesting the ideas we get in our head about how we think the lifestyle should be, and the surprises we get when it is nothing like we expected.  Julie and Matt have a few doozies to share along with some sage advice that has always helped them…and if you listen to the end, there is a surprise!!  Shhhh, don’t give it away!  Pop on the blog and let us know of any misconceptions you’ve had; we’d love to hear from you!

This is a potent episode that everyone should listen to…because honesty is one of the core values of ethical non-monogamy!  Join Julie and Matt as they dive into this topic, and share personal experiences with lying, cheating, and why honesty is so important in their relationship.  Even though their needs are different, they share how they communicate with each other to strengthen their relationship.  Do any of our listeners have similar issues?  How do you feel about honesty?  Or the “don’t ask, don’t tell” lifestyle?  Send us your thoughts!

Here it is, the story of our first swing!  We reminisce about the nerves and excitement we had that day with a fun, sexy new couple. This conversation took on a life of its own as we explore swinger etiquette for newbies, plus some of our do’s and don’ts.  Join the camaraderie as Matt teases Julie about her “peel me off the ceiling” sex!  Do you have a great story about your first encounters? Or a valuable tip to share with our listeners?  Drop us a line; send an email, or post on our blog, we would love to hear from you!

Episode eight covers the awkwardness that we all feel when we just don’t have the right chemistry with a couple…and dealing with the rejected feelings we get when someone doesn’t like us. (Shocker, I know, because we are so AWESOME!).  Swinging and poly relationship can sometimes be a revolving door of new people and it can be challenging to find the right mix of personalities and chemistry to make sparks fly.  Matt and Julie share their experiences with rejection and being the rejectors; but we would love to hear from our listeners if there are other graceful ways to say thanks…but…no thanks!

Episode seven is all about the dreaded jealousy topic.  Does it have a place in a healthy ENM relationship?  We all feel twinges of jealousy from time to time; Matt and Julie talk about their issues with the feeling, and the ways they help each other cope and diffuse the insecurity that goes along with it. Do any of you struggle with being jealous of your partners or vice versa?  We’d love to hear your thoughts and comments!

Episode six is a more serious talk about something that Matt and Julie feel like so many of us struggle with; and that is body image.  We touch on our own worries, and thoughts about our bodies, plus how we feel about past connections we had.  Body sensitivity and acceptance are so important to self esteem and having a great experience in this lifestyle. We’d love to hear your comments or thoughts, please check out our blog at American-Poly.com and start a discussion!

Whew, get a drink and settle in for this one!  Matt and Julie reminisce about their first ever hotel takeover swinging event, and the crazy escapades that happen!  This was such an eye-opening event for both of us, who are typically more relationship driven.  The idea of being spontaneous and experiencing a quick connection with a couple that we didn’t know super well was both thrilling and nerve wracking. What are your takes on this subject?  Do you feel like being spur-of-the-moment and letting go is better, or is connection and friend-based swinging play better?  Leave us some comments on our blog at American-Poly.com!

Episode four is all about our most favorite websites we use to find new couples and friends online.   There are so many options out there for finding like minded people, and we thought we would share how we approach the “hunt” and the interesting topics that pop up.  Tips on how to use the websites, personal safety, and setting up your profile are discussed along with creating good profile pictures.  Please feel free to share your favorite websites on our blog at American-Poly.com, we are always looking to explore more! 

Episode three is a biggie!  For Julie and Matt, communication is critically important in the ENM lifestyle.  Matt begins the podcast by asking Julie if it’s possible to over communicate?  Her answer is a resounding NO!  Matt points out how difficult it can be to share the things with each other that are uncomfortable; and how important is it to be open to each other and understanding.  We discuss the need for “safe space” inside relationships so that each person can feel like they are being heard and not judged.  This episode ties in a little with podcast two, as we overlap on the need for good listening skills.  We both worry about oversharing with issues that happen with other lovers or swinging paramours in our lives.  Being present and attentive to listening to those struggles, yet also objective and not putting our individual wants or preferences first can be challenging.  Do any of you struggle with these topics?  We’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas on our blog at American-Poly.com

Episode two starts with Julie explaining how she can sometimes feel insecure with Matt when they swing with current and new partners.  Matt often worries that someone new will cross Julie’s personal boundaries, and she worries that a new partner will not respect her relationship with Matt. Other topics include the insecure feelings we get if we think that a new partner is a better lover for each other than we are. We discuss the open communication and re-connection we have that helps us work through these feelings and how we validate and reassure each other that our foundation is strong and lasting.  How do you deal with insecurity and vulnerability in your relationships?  Do you feel this comes up often?  We’d love to hear your stories and tips; check out our blog at American-Poly.com!

Welcome to our first ever podcast!  Since it is our first attempt, we thought it would only be fitting to talk about Matt’s first experience with a public swinging meet and greet.  Being an introverted person, he struggles in a group to make conversation and connections.  How many of our listeners have the same trouble?  Do you guys have any ideas or tips for getting over the nerves that crop up?  We’d love to hear your stories like ours or your comments about our first podcast; check our our blog at American-Poly.com!