Movie Dicks Podcast

Today we Shawshank our way down the amazon river as we escape the THICK THRASHING Verial snake that is 1997's Anaconda!

This week - we try DESPERATELY to dry our balls off as the most severe case of monkey bite and crotch rot of our LIVES infest our now numb asses as we seek the help from the Oceanographic society of Pandora to plumb the depths of Avatar - The Way of Water (aka Fern Gully 3 - Free Willzyx).

Today we disinfect the site of the orgy that is 1979's Caligula!

Today we lube up as we penetrate the 2004 schlock fest known as Blood Gnome!

This week - we Mouseketeer our way into the 2002 "Britney Spears wants to be a movie star" project called Crossroads!!!

This St. Patrick's Day - we ride the goddamn rainbow and fro pick a pot of gold as we rhyme our way across the 2000 quintuplets sequel Leprechaun in the Hood!!!!

This week - we serenade our way into the haphazard and manipulative romance music video that is Marry Me!!!

Grab your strap on elf ears and bring your hairy foot fetish! Crawl out of your Hobbit holes! Time for adventure as Paul tears apart the 2014 The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies! Special guest burglar Laura Townsend!

This week - we sling rotten pizza at the absolute HORROR SHOW that is Ernest Scared Stupid!

Today we RUB ONE OUT with the 1996 Genie/Shaq (is that Shaq-enie?) sh!t stained single ply napkin splat that is Kazaam!

This week - we examine all things Star Wars with resident nerd Tripp Townsend!!! We even answer the age old question - which Star Wars story is the worst and WHY does it suck so bad?!

This week - Our nipples fall off from the sheer terror that is Jason X!!!

This week - we flush the putrid soup of brown sh!t that is Super Mario Bros!!!

This week - we destroy an apocalyptic amount of shit and somehow survive the 242 minute cut of the 2021 cut of the 2017 DCEU movie Justice League!!!

Today we F**K F**K F**KING F**K F**K HOMOPHOBIC SLUR RACIAL SLUR BANG BANG BOOM TARANTINO REFERENCE IRISH IRISH IRISH IM IRISH IM PROUD TO BE IRISH DID YOU KNOW IM IRISH DID YOU KNOW WE ARE IN BOSTON our way into the 2009 SH*T FOR BRAINS sequel known as Boondocks Saints II: All Saints Day!!!!!

This week - we BETRAY OUR HONER as we look at the 2004 direct to video Disney movie Mulan 2!

This week - we obliterate the gavel of justice as we look at the 2020 Netflix Original, The Last Days of American Crime!!!

This week - we teabag the 2008 over the hill comedy Step Brothers!

This week - we asphyxiate in the coincidental ridiculousness of The Air I Breathe with Forest Whitaker!

This week - we gag and paddle the 2015 erotic thriller Fifty Shades of Grey! Special guest host Chris (REDACTED)!!!

This week - we FIST the IMPENETRABLE orb that is the 1974 movie Zardoz with James Bond himself - Sean Connery!

This week - we travel back in time and ejaculate into the primordial ooze to analyze The Island of Dr Moreau!

This week - we trample the 8 legged freak that is Arachnophobia!

This week - we attempt to reanimated the dead corpse of a movie called Resident Evil!

Today we scrimshaw our way into 1998's Deep Rising!

Today we excavate the 2008 "Pre Historic" movie known as 10,000BC!!

This week - we deFRAG the 2015 Michael Mann directed, Chris Hemsworth starring cyberterrorism movie Blackhat (and give it a C++)! Special Guest host - CS engineer Zeb Westrom!

This week - Paul takes over as we STUFF your stockings, and TASTE YOUR WIFE's generously sized cookies as we look at 1996's Jingle All the Way! Music this week created by Lord Kre-Z! Check him out on SoundCloud!!!

This week - we flagellate the 2014 religious film Left Behind with Nicholas Cage!

This week we defecate upon the 1995 Steven Seagal action movie Under Siege 2: Dark Territory!

This week we drop a dime on the 2020 coronavirus killed The Tax Collector by "I did Training Day" writer David Ayer!

This week - we drink peyote and vomit fuchsia rainbows as we watch the 2008 family action film Speed Racer directed by the people who made The Matrix Trilogy!

This we - we are cuckolding the 1977 David Lynch art house flick known as Eraserhead!

Our first bonus mini episode! Paul and Gabe argue whether Cats is high art akin to Andy Warhol, Stanley Kubrick, or Aki Kurismaki! Unedited, unfiltered, and quick - we hope you enjoy!

This week - we expectorate the phlegm covered hairball that is 2019's abomination of a "movie" known as Cats!!!

This week - we shit upon the 2019 Michael Bay Netflix "Original" called 6 Underground!!!

This week - we ASSail the 2000 horror sci fi slasher Hollow Man (or as I like to call it, Bacon’s Bits 1 - the Porkining)!

This week - we lamPOON the 2003 universally derided atrocity that is Gigli!

This week we BLOW our stack with the 1997 blockbuster disaster (or is it disaster blockbuster?) Dante's Peak!

For Episode 12 - we are cornHOLE-ing the 2003 "big budget" disaster that is The Core!

This week - we SMURF on the 2009 multi Oscar winning, best picture nominated, once the biggest movie of all time, James Cameron's blue cat remake of Dances with Wolves - AVATAR! Guest Host - Ruperto Sanchez, Cinematographer

For Episode 10 - we look inward, reMEMBERing the 2012 emotional porno known as "The Vow"!

For Episode 9 - ONAN-ize the 2008 Marky Mark and Animated Mannequin staring disaster that is The Happening!

For episode 8 - we canvASS the 2020 zany comic book disaster that is Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)!

For episode 7 - we mictu-ize the fall of Johnny Depp's career with the 2010 Charade wanna be "movie" called The Tourist! Over sexualization, no chemistry, and a complete lack of knowledge on anything in the real world leaves us with something we wish we could have unseen.

For episode 6 we PEN-alize Congo - the 1995 inexplicable jungle adventure "film" with lasers, diamonds, a talking gorilla (!!!!) and staring Tim Curry's accent. Special Guest Host Tripp Townsend

This week - we ASS-ess the 2019 money grubbing, soulless abomination that is 2019's The Lion King!

This week - we PENAL-ize the 2020 semi blockbuster geriatric three-quel known as Bad Boys For Life!

For episode 3, we SCROT-inize the proof the need for Prozac exists - Darren Aronofsky's 2017 F CinemaScore earner Mother!

For episode 2, we PROBE the bloated 2019 Ari Astar, low budget FOLK horror film Midsommar!

In our inaugural episode we ANALyze the 250 million dollar pile of garbage that THEY call Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker.