Podcasts about marry

Welcome Back To Part Two of the episode without Daj! lmaoThe guys continue conversation about getting out of the friendzone, if you found out her "friend" and her used to be more than friends would you be bothered, why men put themselves on child support and more! ENJOY!

Want to join us on the podcast?Fill out this form to be part of a future episode and ask your question live! https://form.jotform.com/250853154368158 Lose Fat With My Clubhouse App HERE  https://theclubhouse1.lpages.co/erfclubhouse-app-info/ Lose Fat With Personalized 1:1 Coaching HERE https://theclubhouse1.lpages.co/1to1-coaching Free Calorie Calculator  https://ericrobertsfitness.com/free-calorie-calculator/ 20% Off Legion Athletic Supplements Code “ERIC” HERE https://legionathletics.rfrl.co/qj2dy Youtube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@ericrobertsfitness  In this episode, Sophie and I break down the real reasons people struggle to reach their fitness goals. We talk about the power of mindset, the role of accountability, and how shifting from seeking motivation to taking consistent action creates lasting change. We also explore the fear of failure and why embracing discomfort is essential for personal growth.

The 2024/25 season is officially in the books — and it's time to break it all down in The Black Eagles Podcast's ultimate Beşiktaş season recap! From moments of brilliance to brutal lows, we cover it all.

Corinthians

Buckle Up, it's a roller coaster episode as Trouble maker Visha returns to the backyard and International sensation Gbenga (Mc Gabriel), makes his debut.  We celebrate father's day, Gbenga breaks down why emcess don't get married, Kendrick performs in Toronto while Davido pulls out of upcoming Stadium Tour with 50 Cent, We discuss bare minimum gestures, how daylight is underrated and more on this episode.Please, Rate, Like, Comment & Share.Send Fam mails to thetalkativex@gmail.com or HEREHappy Fathers Day - (6:46) Gbengas no dey Marry - (14:47)Kendrick in Toronto - (32:50)Daylight is underrated (46:45)BET AWARDS (51:48)Davido pulled out of Stadium tour with 50 Cent  (54:22)Bare Minimum vs Princess Treatment (1:08:00)If women steal Hoodies, then men steal ......(1:34:50)Take your Flowers Bro (Being an Emcee) (1:39:35) Father sues his Son (1:50:45)

John Barklow - a seasoned outdoorsman and 26-year U.S. Navy veteran. A diver by trade, he spent most of his career supporting Navy Special Warfare, often working with elite SEAL teams. Much of his time was spent in Kodiak, Alaska, training SEALs in cold-weather survival and night movement through technical terrain, known as Cliff Assault. After his service, John joined SITKA Gear, applying his military expertise to develop advanced clothing systems for hunters and outdoorsmen. Join us for a conversation about John's experiences with helping grow the Sitka brand, the succession of hunting gear and how the gear has changed, some of John's greatest hunt stories, and more! Follow along: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cameronrhanes Twitter: https://twitter.com/cameronhanes Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/camhanes/ Website: https://www.cameronhanes.com Follow John Barklow: https://www.instagram.com/jbarklow/  Follow Sitka: https://www.instagram.com/sitkagear/  Thank you to our sponsors: Ketone IQ: https://www.ketone.com/Cam use code CAM for 30% off your first subscription Sig Sauer: https://www.sigsauer.com/ use code CAM10 for 10% off optics Montana Knife Company: https://www.montanaknifecompany.com/ Use code CAM for 10% off  Black Rifle Coffee: https://www.blackriflecoffee.com/ Use code KEEPHAMMERING for 20% your first order Hoyt: http://bit.ly/3Zdamyv use code CAM for 10% off MTN OPS Supplements: https://mtnops.com/ Use code KEEPHAMMERING for 20% off and Free Shipping Timestamps: 00:00:00  Montana Knife Company Video Series & a Unique Perspective 00:04:28  John's Background (the NAVY & Teaching Survival Skills) 00:11:17  Understanding the Concepts in Gear 00:16:12  The Great Equalizers: Testing Guys in the Field 00:22:20  Survival Exercises 00:27:09  Finishing School for BUDS 00:29:07  Peer Reviews 00:31:56  Ad Break (Ketone IQ & Sig Sauer) 00:33:56  Diving & Getting into Hunting 00:36:18  When John got into Hunting 00:38:56  John's Most Memorable Hunt 00:45:52  Hunting Mountain Goats 00:48:53  John's Brown Bear Hunt 00:54:59  High Stakes in Hunting & Memories from the Hunt 00:59:31  John's Buffalo Hunt 01:08:48  Takeaways from John's Hunting Stories 01:13:10  John's Best Elk Hunt Story 01:18:35  Hunters John Looked up to 01:22:03  How Much the Hunting Industry has Changed 01:29:03  Failure: The Foundation that Built Cam's Hunting Career 01:30:51  Celebrating Success in Hunting 01:32:29  Measuring Success in Hunting 01:33:47  The Succession of Hunting Gear & Clothing (Down) 01:37:10  What's Next for GORE-TEX Gear 01:42:29  Small Adjustments in Gear Make a Big Difference 01:44:44  Nobody Likes Being Cold 01:45:40  QA: F#$k, Marry, Kill: Backcountry Bowhunting, Diving, or Mountaineering? 01:46:48  QA:  For Sitka - is Mountaineering a Good Place for Inspiration? 01:50:34  QA:  If you had to Choose 1 Material or Textile to Use, What Would You Choose? 01:52:06  QA: How Would You Use High Pressure Situations to Help Develop Your Career Path? 01:54:21 QA: What's One Non Negotiable for Your Daily Routine? 01:57:06  Outro

Who is the front-runner to be the head coach of the Knicks? Plus, an edition of Cuddle, Marry, Trash & do you question Dave's dignity? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Corinthians

6-15-25 | Have you heard some worldly wisdom and thought, “That's the worst advice I've ever heard!”?  The reason is, Biblical wisdom is often at odds with the wisdom of this world. In this sermon series, we will attack the advice the world gives with God's Word and choose to be led by the Holy Spirit.

Many conflicts and disagreements in marriage center around sexual intimacy but God doesn't want that to be the case. And so He addresses this very issue in First Corinthians chapter seven. Pastor Ed Taylor is about to look at this very practical passage and show us how we can glorify God in marriage and specifically through sexual intimacy. We'll also be reminded of God's definition of marriage here on this edition of Abounding Grace. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/302/29

Jess is joined by standup comedian LIZ GLAZER, days after making her Tonight Show debut! Topics — Liz quitting her law career to pursue comedy, her failed SoulCycle instructor audition, being married to a (lesbian) rabbi, the ghost of Joan Rivers uniting her with Judy Gold, transcendental meditation, 12 step programs & more!  Cult of Body & Soul on all podcast platforms & YouTube Watch Liz' special on YouTube IG: @jessxnyc | @lizglazer  

Welcome Back No Shame GANG!!!This week Tahoe, Traum and Yesssterday sit with Daj's HUSBAND Dru to talk why men want to get married, why the engagement process can be longer for some than others, how they deal with being gaslit by their partners, not feeling comfortable speaking on certain issues with their fiancees and why, being rewarded for telling the truth vs being condemned for it, why men get into monogamous relationships even though they dont consider themselves monogamous, and would they be cool with a woman you're interested in telling you that she's interested in your friend? Stay tuned for part two releasing this thursday or head to our patreon to listen to the whole episode ad free!! and ENJOY!!!!Socials:Dru@SheCallsMe_Sirr on Instagram and Twitter

In this episode of The Sarah Fraser Show, I dive into the finale of Season 19 of Sister Wives, which wrapped up with a four-part one-on-one special. I share my thoughts on the show's longevity and the producers' knack for keeping fans engaged, despite some repetitive content. We discuss Kody's comments about his sexual experiences and the ongoing dynamics between him, Robyn, Christine, and Janelle, including the luggage rack incident and Kody's obsession with looks. Christine's candid remarks about her lack of respect in her marriage and the contradictions in Kody's statements about love are particularly noteworthy. I also touch on the women's current dating lives and their differing opinions on whether they would consider polygamy again.  Timestamps: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Season 19 Finale Overview 00:10:00 - Kody's Sexual Experience and Relationships 00:15:00 - Kody and Robyn's Love Story 00:30:00 - Meri and Janelle's Dating Lives MY Go Big Podcasting Courses Are Here! Purchase Go Big Podcasting and learn to start, monetize, and grow your own podcast. Use code DAD15 for 15% OFF until 6/30/2025 **SHOP my Amazon Marketplace - especially if you're looking to get geared-up to start your own Podcast!!!** https://www.amazon.com/shop/thesarahfrasershow Show is sponsored by: Download Cash App & sign up! Use our exclusive referral code TSFS in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days, and you'll get $10 dropped right into your account. Terms apply Horizonfibroids.com get rid of those nasty fibroids Gopurebeauty.com science backed skincare from head to toe, use code TSFS at checkout for 25% OFF your order Nutrafol.com use code TSFS for FREE shipping and $10 off your subscription Quince.com/tsfs for FREE shipping on your order and 365 day returns Rula.com/tsfs to get started today. That's R-U-L-A dot com slash tsfs for convenient therapy that's covered by insurance. SkylightCal.com/tsfs for $30 OFF your 15 inch calendar  Thrivecosmetics.com/tsfs Brighten a mom's day—especially if you're that mom. Go to thrivecausemetics.com/TSFS for 20% OFF your order Warbyparker.com/tsfs make an appointment at one of their 270 store locations and head to the website to try on endless pairs of glasses virtually and buy your perfect pair Follow me on Instagram/Tiktok: @thesarahfrasershow   ***Visit our Sub-Reddit: reddit.com/r/thesarahfrasershow for ALL things The Sarah Fraser Show!!!*** Advertise on The Sarah Fraser Show: thesarahfrasershow@gmail.com Got a juicy gossip TIP from your favorite TLC or Bravo show? Email: thesarahfrasershow@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Corinthians

Erick has a Switch 2, but Zack didn't get his Nintendo Switch—and there's a reason why. Zack told Erick he should try Wet Lemon Pepper wings instead of the regular ones he usually has. Erick talked about what he did last Sunday, and you'll find out why we didn't have a show. Erick was watching Denzel Washington action movies, including one where an actor who usually plays a good guy was the villain. Zack brought some beef jerky for Erick to try on the show while he answered F-k, Marry, Kill questions. All of that and so much more on today's show.     Links: The Podcast IG Erick Feiling Website Erick Feiling IG Zack Stack IG Comedian Erick Feiling

In this EPISODE I'm sharing on: I'm answering your dating questions Wife In Waiting - my 12 month Group Coaching Program that shows you how to date your husband in 90 days and commit to him in 6 months Opens on June 28 right after the MEET AND COMMIT TO YOUR HUSBAND IN 6 MONTHS WEBINAR Register here to attend: https://www.tolufalode.com/meet-your-husband

Maybe you're single today, and made to feel almost like a second class citizen! You're bombarded with questions like, “Why aren't you married yet?” It's important for you to know that God says it's perfectly fine to be single. With that said, it's also ok to be married. There's a lot of confusion in this area, and First Corinthians seven provides some much needed truth on the subject. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/302/29

Whether it's scaling down, moving up, or diving into the home-buying market for the very first time, people are navigating a wide range of housing journeys. In this episode, we sit down with real estate expert Kim Primus to break down the issues, challenges, and opportunities in the real estate market today. If you are an aspiring investor, buyer or homeowner, you don't want to miss this one! Find Kim on Instagram @kimprimusnjrealtor

„Marry someone who wants to be a partner – not someone who just wants to have a wife/husband.“ ⸻ Was, wenn du dich nicht nach Liebe sehnst – sondern nach Versorgung? Was, wenn du gar keinen Partner willst – sondern nur jemanden, der dich rettet? In dieser Folge gehen wir mit dir dorthin, wo Beziehung wirklich beginnt: Nicht in der Romantik. Sondern in der Reife.

Show Open 06.14.25 ⚾

Dash and J.D. discuss Ciara interrupting Jim Jones's interview, Tyler Perry's BET awards speech and Nicki Minaj‘s controversial verse on Lil Wayne‘s album.

Today's Scripture: 2 Kings 8:16–19 Who Not to Marry — Pastor Sumrall shares timeless wisdom from the life of King Jehoram, who married into a sinful family and ended up walking away from God. Before you say "yes," take a good look at their family culture. Are you marrying love—or a lifetime of compromise? Subscribe to cathedralofpraiseTV: https://www.youtube.com/c/cathedralofpraiseTV/?sub_confirmation=1 ---- Discover fundamental truths and the power of Scripture with Pastor David E. Sumrall on Daily Devotions. Pastor Sumrall serves as the Undershepherd of the Cathedral of Praise, a Christian church dedicated to Jesus and His Word, with campuses across Metro Manila and branches around the world. Learn more about Pastor David Sumrall: https://linktr.ee/davidsumrall Subscribe to Pastor Beverley Sumrall's Podcast: https://cathedralofpraisemanila.com.ph/podcasts/praise-moments/ Visit our website: https://cathedralofpraisemanila.com.ph Like us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cop.manila Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cathedralofpraiseph Follow us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/COPmanila DD - Daily Devotions © 2025 Cathedral of Praise. All rights reserved. This video and its content are the property of Cathedral of Praise. Sharing is allowed only by linking back to the original source. Unauthorized use, reproduction, modification, or distribution is strictly prohibited.

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What does it really mean to be led by the Holy Spirit in relationships? In this episode, Adam and Ashlee—joined by pastors and marriage coaches George and Tondra Gregory—dig into what spiritual discernment looks like when you're choosing who to marry, how to navigate conflict, or just trying to figure out if you're on the same page as your spouse. It's not just about hearing an audible voice from heaven—it's about walking in daily partnership with the Holy Spirit, especially when your emotions, opinions, or logic want to take the lead.Together, they break down common misconceptions about what being “Spirit-led” means, why timing matters, and how to build a relationship rooted in surrender instead of self-will. Whether you're dating, married, or in a season of waiting, this episode offers a real, biblical perspective on what it looks like to let God lead your love life.--Join our AFTER I DO community for Exclusive Content & community!www.afterido.app--Have a question about relationships? Ask us by clicking the link below!https://patria.church.ai/form/BeyondIdo_BEYOND I DO: MARRIAGE COURSEhttps://beyondido.thinkific.com/courses/beyond-I-do--Connect with Adam & Ashlee Mesahttps://instagram.com/amesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==https://instagram.com/ashleemesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==--Connect with George & Tondra Gregoryhttps://www.instagram.com/georgeagregory/https://www.instagram.com/tondragregory/--Don't forget to stay connected with us: Instagram @beyond.idoTik Tok @beyond.ido--We've entered into an exciting new partnership with renowned jeweler Erin Barnett in Los Angeles. This partnership perfectly aligns with our love for relationships and jewelry. Whether you're looking for a special gift, an engagement ring, or a wedding band, Erin has you covered. And as part of the Beyond I Do community, you get exclusive discounts and the opportunity for a private showroom experience. It's time to celebrate your love with exquisite jewelry from our partner, Erin Barnett.How to get the exclusive discount?SEND HIM A DM and tell him you are part of the BEYOND I DO family or mention Adam Mesa. https://www.instagram.com/by.barnett/?hl=enhttps://bybarnett.com

In the modern dating climate, we sometimes wish relationships came with a manual. In the 1920s, ladies could use one, written by the author of the previous episode's “A Woman You Should Not Marry”. How does it compare? Is Reinhold Gerling, to quote Mr Darcy, equally “severe upon his own sex”?  ________________  If you enjoy the podcast and want to support what I'm doing, check out my Patreon!  https://www.patreon.com/textory 

Marry into the butt. Third Party Body Parts. South Africa on the Tip of the Thing. Penguistan. Horking Prizes From Your Nose! Are there any fantasy epics filmed in New Zealand, cuz I, like, really wanted to know. Get in losers. We're going to Finland. Ice on a cold tin roof. Three-way couch. More than four Fantastic Fours. Good ol' fashioned farmer blow. You're-Born-with-It Holes. Transorbital intubation. All that and a can of chips with Tom. Home Box Office Positive with Nicole and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Marry into the butt. Third Party Body Parts. South Africa on the Tip of the Thing. Penguistan. Horking Prizes From Your Nose! Are there any fantasy epics filmed in New Zealand, cuz I, like, really wanted to know. Get in losers. We're going to Finland. Ice on a cold tin roof. Three-way couch. More than four Fantastic Fours. Good ol' fashioned farmer blow. You're-Born-with-It Holes. Transorbital intubation. All that and a can of chips with Tom. Home Box Office Positive with Nicole and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Read any good books lately? On this episode of “613 Books” podcast, producer and host Heather Dean welcomes back several authors to the podcast, this time to get their answers to the question, “What's on your reading table?” First we'll hear from Devorah Kigel, the author of her newly-released “Marry a Mensch.” Heather also checks in with Rifka Lebowitz, the author of “(title)” for her reading table selection, and later on with award-winning writer and Mishpacha Magazine contributor, Barbara Bensoussan whose recent book is a cozy mystery called “Seven Blessings and a Murder.” Subscribe to “613 Books Podcast” and discover new books every week! = = = Show Notes: Featured Guest, 1st Segment: Devorah Kigel Devorah's Reading Table Selection: “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” by Gary Chapman To Purchase “Five Love Languages” from the author: https://5lovelanguages.com/store Devorah Kigel's website: https://www.devorahkigel.com/ To Purchase your copy of Devorah's Book “Marry a Mensch:” https://www.devorahkigel.com/marryamensch = = = = = = = Featured Guest, 2nd Segment: Rifka Lebowitz Rifka's Reading Table Selection: “One Day in October” by Yair Agmon and Oriya Mevorach To Purchase “Reading Table Title” on Amazon: One Day in October: Forty Heroes, Forty Stories Contact Rifka Lebowitz: https://rifkalebowitz.com/ To Purchase your copy of Rifka's Book “Smarter Israeli Banking 2.0” on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Smarter-Israeli-Banking-Rifka-Lebowitz/dp/9655987965 For information about Living Financially Smarter in Israel Conference in Jerusalem on Sunday, June 15, 2025 from 9:45 AM – 4:00 PM): https://www.nbn.org.il/lfsii-conference/ PLEASE NOTE: This Conference is SOLD OUT. Meanwhile, buy Rifka's book, and join her Facebook group, “Living Financially Smarter in Israel” = = = = = = = Featured Guest, 3rd Segment: Barbara Bensoussan Barbara's Reading Table Selection: “House on Endless Waters: A Novel” by Emuna Elon To Purchase from “House on Endless Waters” on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/House-Endless-Waters-Emuna-Elon/dp/1982130229 Contact Barbara Bensoussan through her website: https://barbarabensoussan.com/ To purchase your copy of Barbara's book, “Seven Blessings and a Murder” on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Blessings-Murder-Barbara-Bensoussan/dp/B0DGGBBHHY For info about the email community for Jewish Women of Wisdom: https://jewishwomenofwisdom.org/ To Contact Jewish Women of Wisdom: hello@jewishwomenofwisdom.org = = = Show Announcer for 613 Books Podcast: Michael Doniger Michael's contact info, voice-over samples, and demo: https://michaeldoniger.net/en/home/

Degens Andy S and Brandon Bombay light the fuse for a special Cruisemas edition of the podcast as they discuss one of the greatest action movies of all-time, 'Mission: Impossible - Fallout.' Bombay jumps into action by remembering a time when a gorgeous girl hit him with a surprisingly hard kiss, reminiscent of Vanessa Kirby grabbing Ethan Hunt. Then Andy recalls utilizing MoviePass when this was in theater and seeing this flick countless times while being unemployed — and severely under the influence. Then the fellas chat about this instant classic, and make a motion for 'Fallout' to not only be taught in every classroom, but to be requisite viewing for all children across America. This leads to discussing their favorite action set pieces, and having difficulty deciding between the HALO jump, the inner city motorcycle chase, and the bonkers helicopter flight chase sequence. Choosing between those is almost as difficult as the game of Marry, Marry, Marry between the enchanting lightly-freckled trio of Rebecca Ferguson, Vanessa Kirby, and Michelle Monaghan. Simon Pegg's franchise-best comedic chops get some love, as do Ving Rhames' hats. Even Henry Cavill finds his calling as a mustachioed heavy, who can't comprehend why Cruise's Hunt won't just die. Of course, it's all held together by cinema's savior who made the ultimate sacrifice by breaking his ankle Jackie Chan 'Rumble in the Bronx'-style when he jumped out of a window for our entertainment. The greater the suffering, the greater the podcast. Merry Cruisemas to all! 

Not Another Spooky Podcast is a horror podcast hosted by spooky besties Mandy Spooks and Rabbit Loves Horror. Each week, we review a horror movie and dive into spooky chats inspired by its themes—from haunted history and true crime to Halloween vibes and horror pop culture.This week's freshly popped horror movie review covers M3gan (2022).

President Trump and House Speaker Mike Johnson are being vocal about correcting lies that the Democrats are making about the "Big Beautiful Bill."  The Trump Administration has make it clear that they will not stand for activists judges.  Minnesota Governor, Tim Walz is calling for Democrats to be more meaner.  The investigations are continuting in Joe Biden's health and who used the auto-pen to sign documents for him.  Democrats in California are starting "Blue M.A.G.A." .  A Florida man gets caught by the Secret Service for trying to break into Mer-a-lago, who says he wanted to marry President Trump's granddaughter.  -Thank you for listening!-  

We live in a world of countless decisions—some small, some life-altering.

We live in a world of countless decisions—some small, some life-altering.

For more information regarding The Clearing Church, visit our website by clicking hereFollow us on Instagram today by clicking hereWatch the message on our YouTube channel here

 Karen Saves The Universe: Part 2Can a strange marriage survive?Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.I want you, Red. I need to make you mine; mine forever. I've never felt like this before; I know I never will again. Marry me." Cal pleaded."I;” Karen murmured, glancing around their group to make sure she wouldn't be overheard, "I don't know what to say. You're wonderful; and you've done so much for me, but this has all been so fast. We're still just getting to know each other; and half the time it doesn't even make sense to me why you would want me; but I; I just; can I just finish school?" she asked."How you can even think about school when someone like me is ready to give you everything you ever wanted, to take care of you completely, it's just crazy;” Cal murmured, sliding his hand up between her legs and brushing along the edge of her panties.Karen blushed and squeezed her thighs together, looking around embarrassed. "I just; I just worked so hard to get in. Juilliard's been my whole life for so long," she said, looking up into his eyes pleading.Cal looked at her through hooded eyes, "Keep looking at me like that and we won't be waiting for anything." His eyes heated as he pulled her closer, dominating her with a hungry kiss while she squirmed self-consciously. The couples around the table smirked as Cal grew even more bold in his explorations.When he released her, Karen hid her face in his neck as the others cheered. They were his friends, happy to see him happy. Cal glanced at a waiter nearby and gestured for more drinks for the table. The opening act on the stage below finished its last set, but the crowd refused to let the show end. Cheers filled the club, with the crowd demanding an encore.Castor, the lead singer, waited for the crowd to quiet with a grin, then his eyes drifted upward and his face lit with excitement. "Thank you, thanks guys, you're a great audience. For an encore, we'd love to give you a taste of our next album. We've been banging it out in the studio and I can't tell you how excited we are for it to be released. Problem is, it's got this insane keys part that can't be played by just anyone, but I think I see our studio angel in the audience tonight. Kare, baby; will you come help us out?" he asked, reaching upward to where Karen sat.Cal's friends turned to look at Karen in surprise. "You play? Like, for real?" Cal's friend Tony yelled across the table to her in surprise. Karen nodded in embarrassment, glancing at Cal.Everything suddenly froze as Karen rose and walked over to the table, standing over her younger self looking at Cal's face. "Look, you little dummy; look at it! It's right there!" she yelled at Young Karen."What's there?" Holland asked, craning his neck to try to see what she was yelling about."Cal, for all his big words, rich gifts, and grand gestures; he hadn't told his friends anything about me; because nothing of who I really was mattered to him. Only the things he wanted about me mattered to him ; that I was shy, and submissive, and just grateful to have someone pay attention to me. And here ; look at his face! It fell!" she yelled, gesturing to where Cal sat, leaning back in his chair."His face appears still to be attached, to me;” Holland said, doubtfully."It's just a phrase. His face didn't actually fall, but his eyes; look, he's still smiling, but you see it in his eyes. He's not happy for me. He's not happy because the moment stopped being about Cal and how he was the great boyfriend spoiling his new stupid girlfriend on her birthday. Once the moment became about me; that I was asked up on stage; that I could do something his friends admired; ugh, why didn't I see it?" she moaned."What happened?" Holland asked.Karen rubbed her eyes with her hand. "I was young. I was asked to do something. I was asked for help. I was a stupid ninny that had absolutely no ability to say 'no' without thinking the world would end; so, I went up and played with the band.""Oh; was that bad?" Holland asked."No, it wasn't bad. It was a great song. I played well and I was just tipsy enough to not feel all the eyes that were looking at me, making my skin crawl. And you know; some part of me; I wanted to do it. I wanted to show myself that I could play for people; outside a quiet studio," Karen admitted. "Everyone always went on and on about how I needed to get over being so self-conscious and how it would hold my career back. That, and part of me wanted to show Cal's friends that I was more than just another girl in the long line of girls that he had gone through; that I was worth something.""Sometimes I wish our crew would see that I was worth something more;” Holland said, ruefully."Yeah; it's hard when you're young. You're dying to show the world what you're worth, how you're special, but they mostly just need you to work hard and do as you're told," Karen sighed, looking around the club. "Some people will never see what's special about you. They see what they want and they really don't care about the rest. It's those people that see who you really are; without wanting anything from you; those are the ones you need to hang onto."Karen turned her back on the club and the room re-formed into her Newark apartment. The intercom buzzed and Dana rolled out of bed to answer it. "What's up?" she asked."Hey; um, I don't have my keys. Can you buzz me in?" Karen's voice shakily asked through the intercom. Dana frowned in confusion and pressed the button to allow her entry. Soon, she opened the door after Karen's tentative knock."What happened, Kare? I thought you'd be gone all weekend," Dana said, taking in her roommate's appearance. Karen looked unharmed, but her face was puffy and her makeup was streaked from crying and trying to wipe it away."I; uh; I played at the club tonight. Castor Graham was the opening act and he asked me to come up for the encore, so I did.""You played in front of rowdy drunk people? That's fantastic! How did it feel?" Dana asked, offering her back for Karen to lean on while she took off her heels."I was scared; but after a while it was fun. The keyboard was facing the crowd and after a while I looked out over the people and; they looked happy. They liked it. It felt good, then.""God, I wish I'd been there. I'm so proud of you! What did Cal and the entourage say?""Um; I; don't know," Karen blinked and looked around the apartment. "When, uh; when I um; when I got back to the table, they were all gone." Karen wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and cleared her throat."Wait, what?" Dana said, her tone darkening like a storm cloud, threatening imminent destruction. "Say that again. You get called up on stage to perform, you play in front of all those people; like the freakin' keyboard genius you are; and when you got back, those motherfuckers were gone?""I; I think they were gone? The table was empty from what I could see; and the, uh, the security guy; he couldn't let me into the area. He really only knew Cal, and um;” Karen choked and turned her face away, trying to breathe through it and stop herself from crying."Karen; that's not; wait, how did you even get home?" Dana asked, unzipping Karen's dress and grabbing a pair of yoga pants for her."Well, my purse and phone were gone from the table, so I couldn't call anybody and I didn't have any money;” Karen choked. "The security guy was really nice and said I could use his MetroCard if I returned it, so;”"Oh, Christ On A Crotch-Rocket!" Dana yelled, throwing a sweatshirt at Karen, who caught it and pulled it over her head. "Kare. You gotta stop dating this guy. He's a piece of shit. Trust me. I didn't know it when I sent you over there to play, but he's walking excrement;""It's probably just a misunderstand;""And believe me, I'm sure he'll come back with some half-assed explanation, because that's what they all do;""And he tells me all the time that he;""Yeah. He ‘tells ‘; you pretty stuff. He ‘buys ‘; you pretty stuff. Problem is, words and money are nothing to him. Where the hell is he when you're walking home in fuck-me club clothes from the train station and trying not to lose your virginity, huh? Kare. I know you've been through hell, but you are worth more than this. You need a guy that walks you down the sidewalk and puts himself on the traffic side; just in case, because that's who he is. You deserve that. Don't you get it?" Dana asked, taking Karen's hair down and brushing it out, gently."Cal isn't; it's probably just; something;” Karen whispered, biting her lips closed.Dana stopped brushing and wrapped her arms around her roommate, squeezing her hard. "There is real love out there, Kare; and if you don't deserve it, I don't know who does. Someday, you're going to meet a guy that actually loves you and it's going to blow your mind when the games and bullshit are gone. It's like; when a guy is in love, gravity changes for them, or something;”Holland jumped up and pointed excitedly at Dana. "She's right! When I met the Zendayans, my tongue swelled up and;""Are you listening to my story at all, or are you just fantasizing about pretty girls?" Karen huffed."Um; both?" Holland replied, smirking. "I mean, you and Dana were really pretty; and there's just one bed here, and;"Karen shot him an exasperated look and he shrank back behind the bulkhead. "Anyway;” she said.The room dissolved and re-formed, both girls sleeping in the queen-sized bed they shared, morning sunlight streaming in through the dirty window, when the buzzer sounded. "Day, c'mon time to go," a man's voice sounded from the intercom. Karen's head peered out from under the blanket and she ran over to the intercom, tripping over some bottles of wine that they (mostly Dana) had consumed the previous night, trying to rid Karen of her birthday misery."Um; she's almost ready!" Karen replied, then ran to the bed and shook her hungover roommate awake. "Day, someone's here for you; they say it's time to go."Dana grunted and turned over, away from Karen. "Go do it for me; just say you're me again," Dana grumbled into her pillow.Karen swallowed nervously, but gamely grabbed Dana's dress, quickly got ready, and ran out the door. Upon leaving the building, she stumbled into the guy waiting outside. "Um; I'm ready! I'm ready! Dana Stevens. Thanks for waiting;” she panted.The man gave her a quick considering look, then walked her to a large extended-cab pickup truck that looked ridiculously out of place on the streets of Newark. "Miss Stevens," he said, opening the passenger side door and offering his hand to help her up into the vehicle."Thanks. Thank you;” she said, precariously climbing up the runner board in her heels until she settled herself up onto the seat."Just wait there, a bit," he said, after closing the door. Walking back to the building, he selected a key from his collection, opened the building door and walked in. Not long after, he emerged from the building carrying Dana over his shoulder and carrying a bag stuffed haphazardly with clothes. Opening the door behind Karen, he dumped Dana unceremoniously into the back seat and tossed the bag of clothes on top of her. Dana, still in her pajamas, put the bag under her head and turned away from the sunlight streaming into the cab."Dean, this is Karen. Karen, my brother Dean," Dana mumbled, as she draped a pair of sweatpants over her head to block the light."Oh; um, sorry," Karen said, flushing red as she glanced over at Dean's face. "I didn't mean to; um, I'll just go;""Lock the doors, and get us out of the city, Dean. She's coming with us," Dana ordered. "She's on asshole detox!"Karen jumped as the truck's doors locked and Dean wordlessly pulled out into the street and started out. She clasped her hands in her lap nervously. She hadn't packed anything. She had no phone. She didn't have time to let Dana drag her to West Virginia for a visit. Dana had been trying to talk her into coming with her to where she had grown up with her grandparents, but in the excitement of her birthday, Karen had forgotten the trip was this week. She knew better than to say anything, though. Dana wouldn't care, and Dean; who knew what Dean Stevens the brother would think. He didn't say much, but he obviously knew better than to argue with hungover Dana, which was something they had in common."She knows where we're goin?" Dean asked, checking his mirrors as he merged onto the freeway. Dana grunted in assent. "Why ain't she singin' it, yet?" he rumbled, seemingly amused."Because She's Not A Drunk College Kid, Idiot!" Dana howled, holding her head in pain.Dean smirked and started humming "Country Roads" to himself."I hate you so much;” Dana growled, pulling the bag of clothes over her head again. Dean only laughed.After a few miles of road, Karen looked at her roommate in the back seat, and unbuckled her seatbelt. She began to turn to lean over the front seat when Dean reached over and pushed her back down and pointed at her seatbelt. "Um sorry; I just;” Karen trailed off, horrified that she had done something wrong. She couldn't finish her sentence and sat back down, blinking back tears as she put her seatbelt back on.Dean glanced over, looking her up and down for a moment. With a sigh, he put his turn signal on and pulled off the road into a gas station at the next exit. "Do what you need to do," he said, curtly.Karen jumped up, turned around and loosely buckled the seatbelt across the sleeping Dana's hips, then turned, sat down again, and buckled her seatbelt. "Thank you," she mumbled. Dean turned to the back seat where his sister continued sleeping and his face softened. He looked at Karen a second time, sitting with her hands in her lap again, clenched like she expected a tongue-lashing from him for delaying the trip. His eyes drifted down to her feet, where her cold toes were turning pink in the strappy, uncomfortable-looking heels she wore when she came running out of the apartment building on his sister's fool errand. Reaching back, he grabbed a pair of thick socks that had fallen out of the bag of clothes and tossed them to her. Smiling gratefully, Karen removed the strappy heels and pulled on the warm socks as he pulled out onto the road again.The road stretched on. The scenery gradually becoming more rural, the traffic less crowded. Karen found herself relaxing and breathing more slowly as the land passed by. She occasionally glanced at the gas gauge and compared them to the passing road signs to try to discern when they might be pulling over to refill the tank. The third time she did it, Dean shook his head. "Bedford, hon," he chuckled. "You know, you could just ask me. I might be a longshoreman, but I don't bite.""Not like Dana, then," Karen replied, biting her lips so she didn't smile."Hm. Sounds like a story," he said.Karen nodded. "The first time we met, I was waiting to audition for our agency and I was almost going to leave, I was so scared. Day asked to see what I was playing and I handed her the music. Instead of looking at it, she took my hand and bit me. Said it was 'for luck,'" Karen said, laughing to herself."It worked, too. Kare needed to get of her head. She plays better when you throw her off balance, first," Dana said, rising to a sitting position and running her fingers through her hair."Is that so?" Dean asked, looking over at Karen."Yeah. I think too much. My teacher always said I played things perfectly, but he could hear me thinking about it the whole time. Day's a true performer, though. She doesn't think at all - she plays with her feelings, and that's what an audience connects with," Karen said, smiling proudly at Dana."Thoughtlessly playing with feelings; sounds about right," Dean said, chuckling when Dana punched him in the shoulder. "Speaking of, we're coming up on Bedford. Let me know if you need anything."Dana growled at this but said nothing as Karen blinked in confusion. Soon, Dean pulled off the interstate into a gas station and up to a gas pump. Dean hopped out of the truck and began filling the tank. After noticing the bug-splattered windshield, Karen changed back into her strappy heels and walked over to where the island held the squeegee and mop. Dean watched, bemused, as she diligently scrubbed the dried carcasses of insects off the glass while dressed to the nines. Karen finished and climbed back into the truck, only to have Dana grab her shoulder and start whispering in her ear and pointing at the convenience store. Karen, appearing distressed, blushed and said something back to Dana, who gestured emphatically.Dean kept watching as Karen seemed to screw up her courage, took her purse, and walked quickly into the store. He shot his sister a flat look. Dana only grinned, stretched, and put her feet up on the front seat. Shaking his head, he followed into the store."And what would you be needing all those for, hon?" the guy at the till asked while ogling Karen, who looked like she wanted to disappear under the rug."Um; it's uh;” Karen stammered."I need to ask for state regulatory purposes," the guy continued, as he put a large box of condoms on the counter and rang it up."They're for me," Dean said, as he tossed some drinks, chips and cookies on the counter. "Uncut and hangs to the left. Anything else the state needs to know about my cock?" The till guy cleared his throat and began ringing up the additional items and bagging them without further comment. Annoyed, Dean grabbed the bagged items in one hand and took Karen's hand in the other and left the store. "You know, you don't have to do everything my little sister tells you," he said under his breath as they walked to the truck."Then why'd you buy them? Seems like you can't tell her 'no' any more than I can," Karen replied, a little surprised that she had the guts to argue with him.Dean laughed, "I don't want her knocked up any more than you do." He helped her up into the truck and tossed the bag of items to his sister.Dana went digging through the bag and retrieved the box. "Wait a minute, these are just regular. Didn't they have lubricated?" she complained. Karen swallowed uncomfortably, searching for an answer as Dean pulled her seatbelt out and buckled it around her."Don't need lubricated if the guy does his job right," Dean said, grinning at her cheerfully. "Raise your standards and you won't need so many, either.""Hum; lower yours, and maybe you'll actually need some," Dana retorted, opening the package of cookies. Karen just shrank in her seat and covered her flaming cheeks as they pulled back onto the freeway.The scenery turned into wooded hills with mountains growing in the distance. Steering down the curved roads, Dean sighed quietly, a peaceful smile on his face. Karen leaned forward in her seat, trying to see everything as it passed, excitement lighting her face. Dana had fallen asleep again.Near evening, Dean turned the truck down a long, dirt road and reached behind him to shake Dana awake. "Watch for him, Day;” he said. Dana sat up, suddenly alert and scanning the darkening woods around them."What are we looking for?" Karen asked.

 Karen Saves The Universe: Part 1Desperate aliens kidnap a Karen to save their world!Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.On the starship Onan, the Priamites dubiously watched the screen display the creature. Dr. Fehr's algorithm had brought them trekking across the galaxy to a smallish, blue planet around an unimpressive star. While there was no denying the power emitted by the angry, festering organic matter before them, the thought of containing it and bringing it back to Priam was daunting. Still, the fate of their world hung upon the success of their mission."Do we have; uh; audio yet, Lieutenant Cavill?" Captain Hemsworth said, pausing briefly to joylessly ejaculate into his cumsuit, which quickly reclaimed the essence he emitted and channeled it into one of the suit's containment pouches to be resorbed as nourishment.Ever since the people of Eros had unleashed their horrific weapon on them, the Priamites orgasmed almost constantly. The Eros Curse, which seemed like a gift at first, became a tool of enslavement and oppression as the great Priam civilization devolved into listless people who passed the time sitting and staring at nothing in particular. Even special holidays were simply spent gathered in each other's' houses, grunting intermittently. The children of Priam, spared by the curse of Eros by living in growth pods, were never exposed to the disease or its effects until the seemingly arbitrary age of 18, so at least there was no trouble with the censors. The demands of orgasming so frequently took its toll on the Priamite's bodies. Dehydration, muscle spasms, and fatigue were common. The effects on the mind were worse. It wasn't until the invention of the cumsuit, which not only reclaimed the fluid loss and prevented dehydration, but also reduced arousing sensations until the wearer was nearly numb, that it was possible for them to journey out into the stars in search of a cure.Guided by the ancient journals of the revered Dr. Fehr, the Priamites had come to a small planet where it was foretold that there was a force of great and terrible power. It was hoped that this force could be used to break free of the cruel Eros Curse, but time was running out. Even wearing the cumsuits, the crew of the Onan, who were the most stoic, intellectual and sexless men of Priam, felt themselves progressively weakening to the Curse. It was only a matter of time until they lost all sense of duty and simply went adrift through the universe."No audio yet, Captain. The resonant frequency is so shrill that if we don't modulate the pitch; uh;” Lieutenant Cavill replied, closing his eyes and shaking as he orgasmed, then collapsed and stared blankly at the control panels as he recovered.Another crewman took over at the panel, "Captain, I can give you audio, but only for a short time. Even on their planet, they; they; oh; oh fuck;” the replacement said, stiffening as he spurted inside his suit, then shook his head to clear it and looked to their leader for orders. Captain Hemsworth braced himself in his chair and nodded for him to activate audio.A horrendous braying screech filled the bridge, “ No Idea Why You People Can't Even Take An Order Right! I Ordered The Cobb Salad With Extra Avocado! I Don't Care If It's Not On There Or Not! Fix The Damn Menu! I Have Been Coming Here For Over 15 Years And I Know For A Fact That You People Had Cobb Salad On There Two Years Ago When You Were Called Baker's Pie;"Another voice interjected, soft and conciliatory, "Oh, yes, ma'am; I see the confusion. The Baker's Pie that was here went out of business. This restaurant is Snooker's, now, so we don't have the same menu, but our club salad is very similar to;""Are You Actually Interrupting Me? Get. Me. A. Cobb. Salad. Extra Avocado! Do You Understand? Extra Avocado! Mucho Amortado! Comprendo Estupido?"Even in that short interlude, most of the Onan's bridge crew had begun bleeding from their ears and collapsing onto the deck. Captain Hemsworth, a man of rare tolerance and stamina, struggled past their unconscious bodies to the control panel and lowered the volume until it was barely audible. "Computer, disburse caffeline into bridge life support systems, 15 parts per million," he mumbled, leaning on the control panel for support as the strong stimulant hissed into the room. He didn't like to use the drug, because the heightened energy it gave often led to periods of prolonged involuntary masturbation, but he couldn't afford to waste time for the crewmen to awaken naturally. Not when conditions were so dire on Priam.Lieutenant Cavill groaned and rose weakly, climbing back into his console chair and checking the readings. "What happened, Captain? Our scans showed a primitive civilization on the planet without any meaningful defenses. What was that? Some kind of weapon?" he asked.Captain Hemsworth did a double-take at the crewman in wonder, but he said nothing. All around him, he watched the rest of the crew slowly getting to their feet and going back to their positions. All the men were alert, aware, and focused on their duties. Several of them were talking to each other; in full uninterrupted sentences. No one drooled, no one's eyes rolled back; not one of them stared off into space, as if dully re-living the curse that had infected their brains. He, himself, had not even felt the urge to sexually relieve himself once, even with the high levels of caffeline in the air. Indeed, he had not felt anything below the waist; not since he heard that voice. He doubted whether he would have the urge to orgasm ever again. They had finally done it."That was no weapon, Cavill; it is what we came here to find. It's the cure that Dr. Fehr told us was here all along. Contact High Command and tell them; tell them we found it. Tell them we have found; The Karen.The man-eating woman.After straightening out the incompetent waiter on her order, Karen Carmichael excused herself from her prayer group's table and walked to the restrooms, incensed. What kind of man actually cries when taking an order for a salad? Probably gay; or whatever kids were calling themselves these days. Was there such a thing as "gay" anymore, when people "identified" themselves as whatever the hell occurred to them? What was the point of picking a sexuality when people didn't even have a species anymore?Of course, Travis the Waiter had to play the victim about it, too, making the entire restaurant gawk over at their table like they were monsters. He probably knew they were a nice church group and went out of his way to make trouble. Sure, they all scream for "tolerance," but their types couldn't wait to attack nice people of faith like her who showed the world what it was to be decent and pure of heart. Well, he could just kiss his tip money goodbye! Tipping had gotten ridiculous anyway; a generation of whiny babies feeling entitled to extra money just for doing their jobs. ‘If ‘; they did their jobs. She couldn't even get a salad; and, by God, if the Manager didn't make things right, her Yelp review on this place would burn a hole through people's screens!Karen pushed on the door to the restroom tightly clutching her can of pepper spray, because sexual predators were always trying to rape women like her in public restrooms, and she nearly screamed when the door opened. Wet paper towels were everywhere. The garbage bin was overflowing, and some slob had splashed water all over the sink area! Now, she'd have to make the Manager take care of this, too! More drama, when she just wanted to have a nice lunch with her friends. And, of course, the Manager would just try to ‘handle ‘; her; as if she was some unreasonable bitch just for wanting to use a facility that wasn't absolutely disgusting! Then looking near her, but not at her, the Manager would apologize in that fake-nice voice and offer to comp her meal; offering her even more of what was bad in the first place. Managers and their fake apologies. They weren't sorry. The soulless jerks never meant it. They just wanted her to go away; acting like she was a scamming thief instead of someone who just wanted to be treated decently.She settled on the toilet and tried to calm herself. Lately, half the time she wanted to cry, or scream, or tear out her hair; but it wouldn't matter. Nothing would change. Everything changed around her, though. Menus; her children; hairstyles; prices; everything changed. It felt like everything had just left her behind. She looked everywhere for the things she used to love, but she couldn't find them anymore; and if she did find them, they weren't the same as they once were. Nothing made her feel her joy like she used to. That was it. Maybe she was done; that her turn at having any real joy was over. Now, the only time anyone tried to make her happy, or even looked at her, was when she screamed at them.Karen opened her eyes to a rattling sound at the door of her long, handicapped-bathroom stall. "Occupied!" she called out. To her dismay, the dial holding the sliding bolt turned all by itself and the door unlocked. "Hey! Get out!" she yelled, grabbing her pepper spray and holding it in front of her while she tried to stand and pull up her yoga pants."Nice human; good human;” a vaguely disembodied male voice said as a dark, hooded figure in a bizarre form-fitting spacesuit stepped into her stall holding what looked like a staff with a flexible loop affixed to the end of it. It slowly stepped toward her, as cautiously as one might approach a spooked animal. "Human want a nice piece of kale? Yes you do! Yes you do! Who's a good human?" it asked, holding out a curly dark green leaf to her and shaking it temptingly."What the hell?" she yelled, fumbling with the pepper spray can and trying to figure out how to make it work, just as the loop at the end of the staff went down over her head and around her neck, cinching tight.Karen choked, clutching at the loop with one hand, trying to loosen it so she could breathe, and with the other she emptied the can of pepper spray into the hooded face of her attacker. She struggled wildly, but the staff with the loop effectively controlled her and prevented her from landing any punches or kicks on her attacker. As darkness started creeping in on her vision, the last thing she saw was the figure deeply inhale the cloud of pepper spray and hold its breath, then say in a choked voice, "Ready for transport, sir; and man, they've got some good shit down here;”The forgotten leaf of kale fell down next to where Karen's cheek was pressed against the filthy bathroom floor, and with what she feared was her dying breath she choked out, "I want; to see; the; Manager;”Karen's ne victim."I used kale, Sir. Worked like a charm. It's one of the most nutritionally dense materials on the planet, so naturally, it was irresistible," a larger Priamite said to Captain Hemsworth, as he stripped out of his protective suit in a small enclave, bathed in an undulating light.Captain Hemsworth nodded. "Good work, Commander Momoa. Decontaminate for a full four cycles and I want protective measures in place for all personnel. God knows what this thing is capable of when it wakes."Karen heard garbled voices nearby, but kept her eyes closed and tried to steady her breathing. What had happened? The air smelled odd; almost crackling with ozone and energy, like a storm coming. The ambient sounds of the room told her she was not in Snookers anymore. Probably human traffickers. She saw a whole show about it. The bastards kidnapped her and were going to sell her into sexual slavery; except that she wasn't a teenager. She was 51 years old. Nobody would pay for sex with her, much less risk a felony conviction for it. Any ransom demands sent to her husband were going to have disappointing results, as well. So, what was going on? Why was she here? The kids were in college and wouldn't even notice she was gone until Christmas came. Her friends; her passive-aggressive competitors, if she was being honest; they'd just assume she left in a huff and stiffed them on the lunch check. The cold, hard truth was: nobody cared about her anymore and she knew it. That meant, if she was going to get out of this, she would have to do it herself. Her cheek hurt where it had hit that disgusting bathroom floor and she reached her hand up to touch it. The voices yelped in alarm and Karen opened her eyes to see two figures backing away from the enclosure she was imprisoned in."Who the hell are you, and what have you done with my purse?" she yelled, pushing herself to her feet. She walked toward them, crossing her arms and glaring. "I want whoever is in charge over here right now! I mean it!" she yelled, pointing as she walked toward them. One of the figures screamed, clutched at his ears and doubled over, staggering around the room dramatically. The other, larger one she recognized from the restaurant bathroom was in some tanning-booth-looking-thing, half naked and gorgeous in a likely-sexual-predator kind of way. Rather than flailing around the room, he seemed to have gone into a catatonic trance. God, people were useless. "You! Himbo!" she shouted, pointing at him. "Where is my purse? Did you even think to get it when you kidnapped me, or am I going to miss my Ozempic shot? I hope to God you assholes have good lawyers!"The beefy kidnapper in the tanning booth wobbled, then vomited loudly. Karen snorted as he slid down to the floor, unconscious. Pathetic. The smaller figure dove toward a panel on the wall next to her enclosure and pressed a few buttons and she heard the ambient noise of her room change, like it was encased, somehow."I've muted it. It's become even stronger than before;” Captain Hemsworth gasped, helping Commander Momoa to his feet again."How are we going to get it back to Priam? We could choke it out again every time it awakens; give the privilege out as a reward to the crew?" Commander Momoa suggested eagerly."No," Captain Hemsworth said, coming closer to the force field separating him from the angry Karen still yelling and pointing from inside the enclosure. "The cumulative effects of throttling it constantly might affect its functioning. We need The Karen at full power if we are to rescue Priam. We need to keep it conscious. We must feed it, provide it breathing gasses, and keep it clean; it appears to be constantly decaying. That reminds me ; cleaning duty goes to Ensign Holland. He's still on my shit list after the incident with the Zendayans.""Aye, sir."Captain Hemsworth cleared his throat and pressed another button on the side panel. "Hail Karen, bringer of blessed flaccidity, destroyer of abhorrent lust, and banisher of all erotic thought. We are men of the planet Priam. We mean you no harm. We come to you seeking aid, and we come in peace. Actually, until we found you, we would come almost constantly. It was disgusting. Everything was sticky. You see, our enemies from Eros sent us the most perfect pornographic images disguised in an innocent-looking email attachment. Once they were seen, they could not be unseen. They were burned into our brains, cursing us with perpetual arousal. The first wave of Priamites were taken by surprise once they activated the link. The next wave fell victim when the first wave posted the link on their social media because it was just so unbelievably; anyway, after the rest of our population fell out of curiosity or boredom, our civilization was nearly destroyed. We have been searching the stars for a cure, but to no avail. Then, just as all hope seemed lost, we found you; we heard your voice; and our loins finally withered. You are now a guest on my ship, The Onan, en route to my homeworld Priam. There, we will deliver your noxious, strident sounds to everyone, freeing them from their intransigent arousal. Then, after we are assured that all have been cured, we shall return you to your home."At this, Karen made an unpleasant face and began breathing on the clear wall of her enclosure, fogging it. Then, she quickly wrote a short message. "What does it mean?" Commander Momoa said, squinting at the squiggling lines she had made.At this, the computer made a chirp and began speaking, "The message, from the American dialect of the language English translates to: Why didn't you just make a recording?"Captain Hemsworth's shoulders slumped and he closed his eyes with a sigh. Commander Momoa's eyes went wide and he clapped his hand over his face in exasperation. "Fuck;” Momoa said in realization. "A recording;”"Dammit. We didn't have to take her at all, did we?" Captain Hemsworth groaned.Karen glared at them and wrote another word on the wall. As certain as Captain Hemsworth was that he did not need or want the translation, the computer was already on the job. "'Dumbasses,'" the computer cheerfully intoned, "a colloquial phrase, plural of the insult 'dumbass,' meaning 'a foolish or stupid person.'""End translation. Yes, Karen, if we had thought to record your voice instead of kidnapping you, this might have been a much shorter story, and considerably less inconvenient, but as it is, we are closer to Priam than Earth at this point, and our course is set. We will bring you to Priam and then return you home. Perhaps kidnapping you was not the most well-considered solution, but I defy you to think clearly after constantly watching porn for eons and let me know if you do any better."Karen's new calling.Great; as if getting old wasn't insult enough, I've actually become an intergalactic sexual repellent, Karen thought to herself as she paced around her cell. A lifetime of trying to do things right, and this is what it gets me. She wasn't so surprised that there were aliens in the universe, or that they had somehow weaponized porn, but that with all their advancements they were still so stupid!Sighing, she closed her eyes and listened to the ambient sounds of her cell. Life had been so noisy, the last 30 years. Everyone needing her, pulling on her for one thing or another. No peace. Lately though, with the kids gone and Cal; otherwise occupied; life had gone silent. The silence that she had wished for held no peace when it finally came. It just reverberated with the memory of things that had left her behind, making her anxious to fill the emptiness with noise. Nothing came to lure her mind away from the silence, no pleasurable temptations; her duties were done and it felt wrong to do, or even think about, anything else. My god, she had been kidnapped, was flying through the galaxy, and was surrounded by beefcake aliens and she was still thinking about that stupid loose tile in the master bathroom; she needed to get it fixed before the house was sold.A slight sound outside her cell drew her attention. "Who's there?" Karen asked, softly, opening her eyes.A wide-eyed figure peered around the edge of her cell, moving with cautious curiosity. It seemed younger than the other ones. It moved with a sense of barely-restrained eagerness, adorable and earnest. It also held a curved sort of wand in its hand."Honey, if you're here to anally probe me, I'll pass. I already had a colonoscopy this year, I'll have them send you the records;” she murmured, not expecting an answer.After a pause as the figure listened to the translation, its large eyes got even wider. "Is that how you poop?" he asked."What?" she asked, looking more closely at the young alien."I'm supposed to clean your cell when you poop; but you haven't pooped yet; wait, do colonoscopies make you poop?" it asked, scandalized.Karen closed her eyes and shook her head, "No. Colonoscopies put a small camera up your ass so that we can pay a doctor to do what we were afraid aliens like you would do to us if we got drunk in cornfields too much. They don't make us poop. In fact; well, never mind;” she trailed off, embarrassed.She still had vivid memories of her first colonoscopy earlier in the year, drinking gallons of preparatory laxatives, and the resulting quality time with her phone on the toilet. It was an odd experience; not awful, but not one that she could talk to anyone about. Her friends only talked about their kids and their successes, or whose husband cheated on them with some young thing, viciously salivating over their friends' misery with barely concealed glee. Forget about talking through her fears about it with Cal; that wasn't something he was interested in. Not anymore.After the procedure, she had been scared and disoriented from the sedation. For whatever reason, Cal hadn't shown up to give her a ride home. The stupid clinic wouldn't let her leave until someone could drive her home and take care of her. She just sat there getting more and more anxious. Eventually, she called an Uber and begged Xabiib the driver to pretend to be her neighbor; or just someone who cared about her. She spent the ride home trying to say his name correctly while he chuckled and repeated it for her. It was so horrifyingly embarrassing. It's one thing to have no one care about you, but another thing to have the whole world know about it when you were helpless and confused.Tears had rolled down her cheeks and she absently wiped them off with her hand. The young alien sat up and craned his head to look at the liquid on her hand. Karen snorted, "At ease, Holland. It's not poop. You're not getting anything out of me unless you have some heavy-duty magnesium supplements or yogurt."Holland's eyes went wide, "Are humans telepathic???" he gasped. "How did you know my name? Wow, that's so cool! Do it again! What am I thinking about now?"Karen suppressed a smile. Closing her eyes, she pressed her fingers to her temples and swayed from side to side, mysteriously. "I see something; something in the mist; something about; could it be; no, it makes no sense. Is it; a Zen; Zendayan? Does that make any sense to you?" she asked.Holland dropped his curved instrument in shock. "Yes! Yes! We just met them! We negotiated with them for supplies! I was there to carry stuff and; and;” he paused, shrinking in on himself a bit. "They are so beautiful. The Zendayans? So beautiful; and super nice; and just; like wow; I was supposed to just stand there until they were done with the talking and bowing and stuff, but they were just like so beautiful.""Well, what happened?" Karen asked."Captain introduced me and I bowed to them. I was feeling dizzy because, you know, their beautifulness just keeps radiating off them. Then; then; the most beautiful of them; she smiled." Holland stared at nothing, immersed in the memory, then wobbled, tipped over, and lay on the floor staring at the ceiling.Karen bit her lips in amusement. "I see. What did you do then?""I; I; I started talking and then I just couldn't stop because I was just trying to say how beautiful she was and how it just made my mind explode when she smiled and then I might have peed on the floor.""Oh dear," Karen said, cringing in sympathy. "We don't always put forward the face we want to when we are in our feelings, do we?" she said, quietly."Yeah; I've been cleaning poop ever since;” Holland sighed. After a while he sat back up, picked up the curved instrument and began twirling it in his hands. "So, like; what about you? Have you always made horrible noises?" he asked.Karen huffed, but then she saw the oblivious earnestness in Holland's face and sighed. "No; I wasn't always; like this. In fact, until about 30 years ago, I made beautiful noises. I was a pianist," she said."But, wait, they said you were a female;” Holland said, confused."Pee, an, ist," Karen repeated slowly. "I played the piano. It's an instrument; I was a musician. I was a student at Juilliard. It's a school on Earth; it was like a dream to even get in. I was on a scholarship, living in this shoddy apartment with my roommate Dana;” she trailed off, thinking about those days when everything seemed possible."Wait! Are you remembering?" Holland asked, breaking her reverie. "Can I remember it, too? Nobody wants to remember with me ever since the Zendayans, so I'm just left with my own memories and it gets so boring.""What are you talking about?""Well, it's kinda like; um; let me just show you. Computer, scan The Karen and project her memories," Holland ordered. A humming noise filled the room and a beam of light shot out of the wall and passed over her several times. Suddenly, her cell transformed into her shoddy apartment in Newark, New Jersey."Oh my gosh; it's just like it," Karen gasped looking around."Humans dream of getting into this?" Holland said, scrutinizing a cockroach scurrying along the floor."No, silly. This was our apartment across the river. We lived here when we weren't at school. Dana and I moved off campus in our second year. We took jobs on the side through an agency. That was when;” she sat down and a phone in the apartment's bedroom began ringing.A long, pale arm reached out of a pile of blankets on the bed and grabbed the phone. "Hullo?" Dana mumbled. A voice on the phone sounded irate. "Yeah, I'm almost there," she said and hung up.

Welcome back to Stories From the River, where Charlie Malouf continues his conversation with Bradley Sullivan, the General Manager of the award-winning Albemarle Aces, for an in-depth discussion on leadership, motivation, and what it takes to build a high-performing retail team at Broad River Retail. Against the energetic backdrop of the Charlotte Motor Speedway, Bradley shares how his obsession with performance metrics, consistency in routines, and a deep investment in the growth of his Memory Makers have been the driving forces behind his team's repeated successes, including multiple top store awards and coveted cheeseburger trophies for sleep sales excellence. He highlights the importance of embodying the business, emphasizing the motto "be the business," and fostering a culture that values both results and personal connections. Bradley delves into the unique culture of the Albemarle Aces, describing it through the metaphor of poker—where patience, strategy, and embracing the hand you're dealt are essential to winning. He reflects on meaningful moments, like witnessing Memory Makers achieve personal financial milestones and seeing them feel at home in the store's nurturing environment. Motivated by the desire to create a legacy of excellence, Bradley stresses the importance of passionate leadership, the impact of teaching others to surpass their own expectations, and a love for "playing the game." The episode wraps up with Bradley sharing personal anecdotes about family, literature, and the comeback journey that's defined his return to Broad River, leaving listeners inspired to lead with heart and a competitive spirit. Additional resources: The Motive: Why So Many Leaders Abdicate Their Most Important Responsibilities by Patrick Lencioni - https://www.amazon.com/Motive-Leaders-Abdicate-Important-Responsibilities/dp/1119600456   The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton - https://www.amazon.com/Outsiders-S-Hinton/dp/014240733X   The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas - https://www.amazon.com/Count-Monte-Cristo-Wordsworth-Classics/dp/1853267333   Marry the Process, Divorce the Outcome: Lessons on Success with Keith Jones - https://youtu.be/z3autMe8m3Y   Broad River's Original Purpose Summit, Purpose 8:28 (held on 8.28.2019) - https://www.purpose828.com    Watch this episode YouTube:  https://youtu.be/4qfkK_n6mD4  Visit https://www.storiesfromtheriver.com for more episodes. Broad River Retail brought this show to you. Visit https://BroadRiverRetail.com                              Follow us on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/broad-river-retail

Welcome back to Stories From the River, where Charlie Malouf continues his conversation with Bradley Sullivan, the General Manager of the award-winning Albemarle Aces, for an in-depth discussion on leadership, motivation, and what it takes to build a high-performing retail team at Broad River Retail. Against the energetic backdrop of the Charlotte Motor Speedway, Bradley shares how his obsession with performance metrics, consistency in routines, and a deep investment in the growth of his Memory Makers have been the driving forces behind his team's repeated successes, including multiple top store awards and coveted cheeseburger trophies for sleep sales excellence. He highlights the importance of embodying the business, emphasizing the motto "be the business," and fostering a culture that values both results and personal connections. Bradley delves into the unique culture of the Albemarle Aces, describing it through the metaphor of poker—where patience, strategy, and embracing the hand you're dealt are essential to winning. He reflects on meaningful moments, like witnessing Memory Makers achieve personal financial milestones and seeing them feel at home in the store's nurturing environment. Motivated by the desire to create a legacy of excellence, Bradley stresses the importance of passionate leadership, the impact of teaching others to surpass their own expectations, and a love for "playing the game." The episode wraps up with Bradley sharing personal anecdotes about family, literature, and the comeback journey that's defined his return to Broad River, leaving listeners inspired to lead with heart and a competitive spirit. Additional resources: The Motive: Why So Many Leaders Abdicate Their Most Important Responsibilities by Patrick Lencioni - https://www.amazon.com/Motive-Leaders-Abdicate-Important-Responsibilities/dp/1119600456   The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton - https://www.amazon.com/Outsiders-S-Hinton/dp/014240733X   The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas - https://www.amazon.com/Count-Monte-Cristo-Wordsworth-Classics/dp/1853267333   Marry the Process, Divorce the Outcome: Lessons on Success with Keith Jones - https://youtu.be/z3autMe8m3Y   Broad River's Original Purpose Summit, Purpose 8:28 (held on 8.28.2019) - https://www.purpose828.com    Watch this episode YouTube:  https://youtu.be/4qfkK_n6mD4  Visit https://www.storiesfromtheriver.com for more episodes. Broad River Retail brought this show to you. Visit https://BroadRiverRetail.com                              Follow us on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/broad-river-retail

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.louiseperry.co.ukMy guest today is Benjamin Goldman, Assistant Professor of economics at Cornell University. We spoke about his research on marriage: why non-college educated Americans have seen plummeting marriage rates over the last century, how sex ratios affect dating cultures, how male "left tail" phenomena like joblessness and incarceration are affecting the marri…

Text the Bookcast and say "hi"!Welcome to Chapter 72!I've got an incredibly fun conversation for you this month with the folks from Goblin Booth Productions which is a media production company from Norman that moved into the world of publishing in May by releasing their first book - First Degree Magic by J.M. Linkhart. In this conversation, I'm joined by the author of First Degree Magic, Jessica Linkhart, (who also happens to be the creative director of Goblin Booth Productions) and two other members of the GBP crew - Jamie Sykes (who handles the business side of Goblin Booth) and Mitchell Lewis (Goblin Booth's art director and designer). We talk about First Degree Magic, how Goblin Booth got started, their work in the podcasting and audio space, the challenges and opportunities of independent content creation, and we get to the bottom of why they are called Goblin Booth. Connect with Jessica: InstagramConnect with Goblin Booth Productions: website | InstagramCheck out their podcasts: The Harrowing of Minerva Damson | Route 6.6 | Find the rest of their showsMentioned on the Show:The Goblin Emperor - Katherine AddisonThe Witchstone - Henry H. NeffTress of the Emerald Sea - Brandon SandersonDead Wake - Erik LarsonHow to Marry a Millioinaire Vampire - Kerrelyn SparksDaisy Jones & the Six - Taylor Jenkins ReidTomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow - Gabrielle ZevinThe Midnight Library - Matt HaigTerry PratchettThe Hollow Places - T. KingfisherThe Old Kingdom Trilogy - Garth NIxSpinning Silver - Naomi NovikThe Curse of Chalion - Lois McMaster BujoldC.L. PolkRebecca RoanhorseStorm Front - Jim ButcherConnect with J: website | TikTok | Twitter | Instagram | FacebookShop the Bookcast on Bookshop.orgMusic by JuliusH

In this episode of 'Take It or Leave It', Meredith Masony and Tiffany Jenkins dive into personal experiences surrounding relationships, emotional intelligence, and parenting. They reflect on past relationships, the importance of asking for help, and the journey of self-discovery that often follows difficult experiences like divorce. ___ Join the Take it Or Leave it Podcast Patreon!: https://www.patreon.com/takeitorleaveitpodcast Be nonchalant about buying your next shirt: https://www.bonfire.com/chalant/ Order Tiff's Book: https://premierecollectibles.com/cleanmess Get your Laundry Lady scented or fragrance-free Laundry Sheets and Dishwasher Detergent sheets today!: http://laundrylady.co Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It feels like Aaron Judge is still getting better, but he needs to come through in the playoffs. Also, an edition of Cuddle, Marry, Trash! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is marrying someone who's been divorced a recipe for disaster or a chance for a stronger, more informed partnership? CONQUER SHYNESS

Better to Marry, with Pete Chiofalo by Keller, Texas

In the third episode of "The Purpose of Marriage," Duane Sheriff explains that marriage is a sacred institution created by God for companionship and partnership, mirroring the relationship between Christ and the Church. In Genesis 2, the story of Adam and Eve, God states that it is "not good" for man to be alone. This story emphasizes our deep-rooted desire for companionship and partnership. The creation of Eve from Adam's rib symbolizes the unity and intimacy that God intended for marriage.Click for FREE offer ➡️https://pastorduane.com/the-purpose-of-marriage/

In episode two of "The Purpose of Marriage," Duane Sheriff discusses five common misconceptions about why people get married. In a survey, he discovered that people get married to be happy, to find their value or worth, to be complete, to get out of trouble, or simply as an experiment to see how it goes. These reasons go against God's intended design for marriage. No person, place, or thing can make you happy.Entering the institution of marriage in order to achieve happiness will actually ensure unhappiness. Instead, we are called to approach marriage from a biblical perspective and find our happiness, value, and completeness in Christ rather than in a spouse. Colossians 2:9-10 reminds us that in Jesus, all the fullness of the Godhead dwells bodily, and we are complete in Him. This spiritual foundation is crucial before entering into marriage. Click for FREE offer ➡️https://pastorduane.com/the-purpose-of-marriage/

On this week's bonus episode Sam and Pete tackle the ultimate Shag, Marry, Kill (featuring Theodore, Inspector Gadget, and Darth Vader), and chat to Aussie honeymooners who are flying across the world to see them at the O2 instead of lounging in The Maldives. Plus, expect fiery jelly cat opinions and their thoughts on the new phenomenon: Virgin Island.Listen by clicking 'Play' on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever it is you're listening now.Make sure to subscribe, follow, rate and review. Find us on Instagram, TikTok and Youtube - @stayingrelevantpodcastTo get in touch with the podcast, please email hello@srproductions.co.uk (great e-mail, we know)PO BOX:SR ProductionsPO Box 81681LondonSW6 9SW Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is a conversation with my husband, Jeff, and our two teenagers Lucy and Finch. We're answering listener questions about family dynamics, living in LA, how the kids feel about their parents' careers, and what they picture for their futures. Other Tremaine family episodes:Ep 59: Marry the person you could quarantine with (the Tremaines wave hello from lockdown)Ep 69: 22 Things Out Family Watched in QuarantineBONUS: Tremaines Wave Hello From One Year of the PandemicEp 138: 10 Questions To Ask Your Kids (with Lucy & Finch)Ep 211: The Cell Phone Contract for TeensFULL SHOW NOTES HEREMentioned in this episode:Ep 255: Making R-Rated Art As A Mom (with Stacy Rukeyser)***SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode!CLICK HERE for episode show notesFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on InstagramFOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on FacebookSIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notesJOIN Laura Tremaine's SECRET SUBSTACKBUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura TremaineBUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kelly needs to tell her daughter that she has a lot of growing up to do before she should even think about getting married. Call 1-800-DR-LAURA / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment at DrLaura.comFollow me on social media:Facebook.com/DrLauraInstagram.com/DrLauraProgramYouTube.com/DrLauraJoin My Family!!Receive my Weekly Newsletter + 20% off my Marriage 101 course & 25% off Merch! Sign up now, it's FREE!Each week you'll get new articles, featured emails from listeners, special event invitations, early access to my Dr. Laura Designs Store benefiting Children of Fallen Patriots, and MORE! Sign up at DrLaura.com