Podcasts about Onan

 Karen Saves The Universe: Part 3Karen Embarks on a cure campaign.Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.Karen sighed, "Might as well. Let's go kill the libido of an entire civilization, Holland."Holland took her arm and soon the cell where she was held disappeared and another space formed around them. Captain Hemsworth and several crew members from the ship stood nearby, as well as Ensign Holland who was still holding her arm, reassuringly. Looking around, Karen saw that they were in what appeared to be a sound-booth of sorts. One crewmember activated some equipment and moved one protruding tentacle closer to Karen's mouth and another toward Captain Hemsworth's."Are we ready, Ellis?" Captain Hemsworth asked, clearing his throat. Ellis nodded and stepped back from the tentacles. Hemsworth tapped the end of the tentacle and a booming noise reverberated around the room. He cleared his throat several more times and straightened his collar. "People of Priam! Your deliverance has come! You sent us forth among the stars to find the cure to the horrid addiction of filth that has infiltrated our minds and we have not failed you! We have dedicated our lives to this effort, foregone having families, and any comforts of home to bring you this salvation! Behold; The Karen!" he proclaimed, gesturing for Karen to speak."Um; hi?" Karen said, unsurely. Hemsworth glanced at Ellis who was reading some type of display. Ellis frowned and motioned for her to continue speaking. "Um; my name is Karen;""Hi Karen;” several crew members responded unanimously before Captain Hemsworth cut them off with a gesture."Um; I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to say. I heard you're all having some troubles. I'm sorry. I know what that's like. I've had some troubles, too. I married the wrong person; someone who didn't really love me. I wasn't brave and I tried to avoid trouble too much. I had four kids, but they grew up seeing me treated badly, so they don't really see me as being worth much; if they don't need me to be a mom anymore, what good am I to them? I love them, but; I wish I had done more with my life. Now, I'm getting a divorce; and now that I'm in my 50's, I'm not young and beautiful anymore, so it's like I'm invisible to most people. My body hurts more than it used to; and I'm afraid most days. I don't know what's going to happen to me. Everything keeps changing and I don't know where I belong. I feel like I've failed all the time. But, they said that maybe I could help you, so; I hope I can help make things better for you. I'd like to see something good come out of all this," Karen said, wiping some tears off her cheeks. Holland stepped next to her and took her hand. She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder."Ellis?" Hemsworth asked.Ellis looked up from the display, a disconcerted expression on his face. "I don't understand;” he murmured, leaning down and feverishly working on the equipment. "They're hearing it. I know they're hearing it;”"It's not working? She just spoke more than it took to knock out the entire bridge crew! What do you mean it's not working?" Hemsworth said, frustrated. Karen looked at Holland, who simply shrugged.Captain Hemsworth frowned with determination and motioned to Karen, "Speak again. Louder. Talk about the cobb salad! Men, brace yourselves!" he ordered."Cobb salad?" Karen repeated, surprised. "Oh, well, um; it's just yummy. It's got hard boiled eggs, tomatoes, bacon, and avocado on a bed of lettuce; chives and bleu cheese over the top is good, too. The nice thing is that all the ingredients are put into neat little rows across the lettuce, so you can choose exactly what you want in each bite! It's not just a big mess like other salads. You know, I could make you one ; do you guys have avocadoes?" she said enthusiastically, looking to Holland.Holland immediately began looking up something on his hand-held computer. "Av-o-ca-does; do they yield their young willingly, or do we need to;""What the hell is going on???" Captain Hemsworth yelled, grabbing Holland's ear and looking inside. "Holland! You're not wearing protection! Why aren't you unconscious on the floor?""Oh, um; they were kind of uncomfortable, and they made it hard to hear what she was remembering, and;""You Remembered With The Karen? What Is Wrong With You?" Hemsworth shouted, before calming himself. "Momoa, get some caffeline ready. I need to hear her again," he said, bracing himself as he pulled what looked like slugs out of his ears. "Speak again about the salad;”"Okay, uh; most like to eat it with a vinaigrette? I think that gets to be a bit too much if there's bleu cheese on top, though. Sometimes I'll get it with ranch or something creamy because then;""What the hell, Holland! What did you do to The Karen? I barely feel anything!" Hemsworth yelled, grabbing Holland by the uniform."Um; I don't know; we just talked and remembered; you know, she's really nice, if you get to;""Dammit, You've Broken The Karen, Holland! How Are We Supposed To;" Captain Hemsworth yelled until he was interrupted by a knock nearby.Lieutenant Ellis activated a control on his display and a hole formed in the wall of the room. An assembly of Priamites entered the room, as smoothly as if they were rolled in on a platform together. The crew of the Onan immediately fell prostrate on the floor before them. Karen, unwilling to lie face-down on a floor she hadn't cleaned herself, looked around uncomfortably and gave the assembly a small wave. One Priamite raised her hand to return the gesture but was quickly stopped by her neighbor."Welcome, crew of the Onan," one of the assembly said, followed by the rest of the assembly nodding agreeably. "We are most appreciative of all your; efforts. We realize that you have dedicated several of your lifetimes to freeing our civilization from the throes of pornographic addiction, and for your many sacrifices, we thank you," the speaker said, then glanced around uncomfortably at the others. "Most unexpectedly, ah; while the Eros Curse was most distressing to the initial generations, the subsequent generations acclimated to it rather quickly. Then, as fashions changed, the Eros Curse became more of a joke, really; dance mixes were made, memes;”"Excuse me?" Captain Hemsworth said, lifting his face from the floor."I mean, sure, the Eros Curse is still out there. It's just that it's just become something people live with. It doesn't take over our lives, but some indulge in it a little after the kids have gone to bed for the night. I mean, it's not really such a big deal. It adds a little spice to an otherwise boring life, you know?""Boring life?" Hemsworth repeated, rising to his feet. "Are you telling me that all of Priam just walks around, living life, thinking about; that?""Well, yes, but we are very grateful for all you and your crew have done for us. We express our thanks to all the crews of the ships we loaded up with uptight intellectuals that were determined to rid our civilization of; alternative thoughts. We have come here to present you and your crew with a commemorative plaque for all your;""Is this some kind of joke?" Hemsworth said, pacing around. "I've been trekking throughout the universe looking for a cure to your abhorrent lust-filled thoughts and now you just want to give me a plaque for a lifetime of sacrifice because you don't see a problem with your disgusting sticky existence?""Well, there's no need to kink-shame;” the assembly spokesperson muttered, "Honestly, you never wondered why they sent the most uptight assholes on the planet off on a vague 'mission' and never really asked for progress reports?""I don't believe this;” Hemsworth said, his eyes bulging, nostrils flaring. "We've sacrificed our lives for nothing???""Oh, I see where this is going;” Karen said to Holland, who seemed to be trying to assume a duck-and-cover position."How could you do this to us???" Hemsworth yelled."Use the diaphragm for projection, baby; you can do it;” Karen encouraged."I Want; To See; The Manager!" Captain Hemsworth yelled at the top of his lungs, causing a feedback loop to screech throughout the room. The last thing Karen saw before falling unconscious was the sight of every Priamite in the room projectile vomiting on each other. The stench was overwhelming.Karen's Humility.Karen lifted her face off the bathroom floor, overwhelmed by the stench. She brushed off a spare piece of toilet paper stuck to her face, as she tried to remember what had happened. Her lungs burned from what she slowly recognized as pepper spray. She gathered her purse and stumbled out of the stall and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red, and a bruise was swelling where her cheek hit the floor. She splashed some cold water on her face and wiped off the makeup that streaked in the process. This was Snookers; not Baker's Pie. She had just ripped a kid a new asshole for not having cobb salad on the menu. What was she doing with her life?Upon exiting the bathroom, she ran into Travis the Waiter, who looked like he had just splashed water on his face, too. Dread and unease filled his face upon seeing her before it was quickly masked into concern. "Oh, um; are you okay? Can I get you some ice for that?" he asked, looking at the bruise on her cheek."What? Oh, no, honey. I'm okay. I just fell," she said, before meeting his eyes and taking his hand in hers. "Travis, I'm so sorry about the way I treated you. That was awful, and I have no excuse. You didn't deserve that.""It's okay; it happens," Travis said, carefully."It shouldn't, though. I was wrong, and I'm sorry. Would you mind if I just gave you some cash to cover the meal and snuck out of here? God knows what that group of biddies will gossip about when I go out there like this," Karen said, gesturing to herself."Yeah, that should be no problem," Travis said, taking the money she offered. "Are you sure you're okay?"Karen nodded, "I'm fine. I've just got some things to do. You've got a sweet heart, honey. Keep listening to it."Karen swallowed nervously as she went up the walkway to the small suburban house. She hadn't called before coming. It was rude of her not to call ahead of time, but then again, she was pretty sure that her number had been blocked. She didn't know if her oldest son had gone "no contact" or just "low contact" with her, but she was pretty sure her daughter-in-law would threaten to call the police within five minutes of her ringing the doorbell. Nevertheless, when she got up to the door, Karen put her finger forward and rang the bell."What do you want, Karen?" Hailey's terse voice came through the doorbell."Oh; you got one of those camera doorbell things; that's nice;” she began, unsure of how to say what was in her heart without a face in front of her."What do you want?" Hailey repeated."Um; I wanted to talk with you;""The last time you wanted to 'talk' with me, you just wanted to see my kids while you criticized my inadequate housekeeping, my inept child-rearing, and my unattractive post-pregnancy body. So, forgive me if I'd prefer not to have a heart-to-heart, Karen," Hailey interrupted."You're right," Karen said, looking at the dark circle holding the doorbell's camera. "I did that. I did that. I have not been kind to you. When Cal Jr. brought you home, I was not welcoming. I should have been; because you deserved that. You deserved it because you made my son happy. You have made him happier than I've ever known him to be; and that's what I've always wanted for him. If you were just like me, if you did all the things that I obnoxiously told you to do; he wouldn't be half as happy as he is with you; just as you are. If for no other reason than my son's happiness, you have my gratitude. I'm sorry that I've wasted the chances you've given me to know you better. You're brave and confident and funny. Honestly, I think you're the person I wished I could have been at your age. I'm sorry for a lot of things but being wasteful; saying thoughtless things that hardened people's hearts; those are the things that I wish I could take back the most. So, um;” Karen said, checking her notes on her phone's notepad to make sure she got all the points she wanted, "that's pretty much it. Oh, and I put that chocolate mousse recipe you liked on this index card so you can make it, but feel free to call me if you can't read my writing; or if you, you know, ever need anything."Karen nodded at the doorbell and started back down the walkway toward her car, blinking back tears. She had wasted so much time, so many chances. She didn't know if there was a point in trying again now, but she had to. She wasn't getting any younger.As she reached the end of the walkway, she was nearly knocked over by two little bodies running into her and grabbing onto her legs. Tears fell freely down her cheeks as she bent down to pick up her grandchildren, kissing them until they tried to wiggle away. As they started simultaneously telling her everything they had been doing while she was away, Karen's eyes drifted up to the doorway where her pierced and tattooed daughter-in-law stood. "Thank you" Karen mouthed silently over her grandchildren's backs.Karen pushed open the doors of Forest Glenn Hospice Care, her bag stuffed with an array of items and went up to the front desk. "Karen Weaver. I'm here for Dana Stevens," she said.The new girl at the reception desk looked at Karen with quiet unease. "Um; Ms. Stevens has requested only visitors who have;" Karen smirked and lifted the wig off her head, revealing her clean-shaven head. "Oh! Great! Go right in," she said, relieved.The corridor of the hospice facility was peaceful and quiet; exactly the kind of thing the old Dana would hate. Entering her room, Karen looked for any signs that other visitors had been to see Dana but saw nothing. Dana was napping again, her face drawn and gaunt, but thankfully not in pain. Karen put down her bag in a nearby chair and took out a rolled-up electronic piano keyboard and unfurled it on a table next to the hospital bed. As she was on her hands and knees trying to find an outlet to use, she heard Dana clear her throat. "What the hell is that?" she asked, smirking as she nodded at the keyboard."Your afternoon's entertainment. I ordered it on Amazon; you should have seen the bitchy reviews. Reminded me of you. Mind you, I haven't played since Cal got rid of the piano when it didn't fit in the Brooklyn apartment, so you're in for a treat," Karen said, rubbing her hands together and moving her glasses on top of her head so she could see the keyboard controls."Calvin Carmichael in a Brooklyn apartment. My god. What was it that emptied the Carmichael family coffers after they stole you away from me, again?" Dana asked, her sunken eyes taking in every detail of Karen's face as she hovered over the keyboard."Bernie Madoff; cleaned 'em dry. His parents were ever so shocked when they had to sell their properties and move to Florida," Karen said. "They weren't poor; they had enough to retire, but; they were horridly middle class.""Karma's a bitch," Dana said, pushing back against her pillows to sit up more. "Kare; I'm so sorry I didn't talk with you when you came back to the apartment. I could have helped you; we both would have helped you."Karen's smile faded, remembering and wondering what might have been. Dana would have helped her, but she was certain Dana's help would be help to get an abortion; and then she would never have had the joy of knowing her grandchildren. Dean would have; well, it was impossible to know what he would have done, but he would have helped. "Well, consider this your punishment," Karen said, stretching her fingers. "Are you ready?""I'm on opiates, baby. Bring it on;” Dana said, a smile moving across her face.Karen's fingers moved across the keys, and at first, she was put off by the strangeness of the keys and the sensation of tapping on something flat instead of the feel of a piano. Then, memory took over and her hands remembered the dance. Years fell away as she was filled again with the joy of making music. She started with "Clair de lune," a gentle Debussy chosen to respect the frailty of her friend's condition.Upon playing the final chords, she looked up for her friend's reaction to see that Dana had covered her face with a pillow in an attempt to smother herself. "God, you're rusty. You used to be better than me. What have you been doing with those hands?" she complained."Raising kids; kneading dough; finding random women's' panties when I changed sheets on the bed," Karen said, ruefully."Should've jumped Dean while you had the chance;” Dana murmured.Karen bit her lips and closed her eyes. "Um; how; how is he?"Dana stared into Karen's eyes for a painfully long moment, then looked out the window, away from Karen. "Life; life wasn't kind to him. After I graduated, he moved back home to take care of Nana. He only came to the city to look after me, anyway. Living alone hardened him. I haven't seen him in years; not that I'd want to see what he's become. Sometimes you just need to let people go, Kare," she said, sighing sadly. "Anyway; I need a laugh. Show me how pathetic your Jerry Lee Lewis catalog is.""Yes, ma'am," Karen said, blinking back tears and starting into "Great Balls of Fire."The wind coming through the drivers' side window ruffled the inch-long cap of vivid red hair that had grown on Karen's head as she drove down the winding West Virginia roads that she hadn't seen in 30 years. The beauty of this place still softened and relaxed her as much as it had, oh so long ago. Despite Dana's warnings, Karen's heart demanded that she make this trip; and after all she had lost, she was determined to listen to her heart from now on, until she could no longer hear it.She frowned at her passenger and began coughing as a noxious odor swirled around, filling her SUV. She rolled her window down further in self-preservation. This was probably a bad idea; but after all these years of thinking things through and being sensible, she felt entitled to indulge in a few harebrained schemes."Country road; take me home; to the place; I belong; West Virginia; mountain mama; take me home; country road;” she sang, smiling as the wooded foothills rose up in the distance. The path became rough when she turned by the Stevens mailbox and began bouncing up through the woods toward the cozy home. Her passenger surveyed the woods around the vehicle with increasing excitement.Karen started doubting herself, though. It was ridiculous, the more she thought about it. All her emails had gone unanswered. The phone number she was given was out of service. Three decades had passed since she came here; why would he want to see a 50-something woman with an unflattering haircut and stretch marks just because he had fallen in love with the 20-something version of her? Would Dean even remember her at all? She ran through her plan again in her mind again. It sounded really stupid, now. At least it would let her make a quick exit if things didn't work out, though.She broke out in a cold sweat when the house came into view. It was just as she had remembered it, maintained well, but not changed. It was like a holy place, kept perfectly through the ages in reverence for what it represented.She pulled up to the house and parked. No one emerged, so she would have to go in. She would have to go knock on that door and see the unrecognition or even disappointment in his eyes. She needed to go tell him about his sister. Opening the door, she slid out and hopped to the ground and stretched her legs. Suddenly, a braying roar filled the air and a wall of fur launched itself from behind the house and came for her. "SIT!" Karen yelled. Her command, though impressive, appeared only to be a gentle suggestion to the monster that continued to charge her. "STAY!" Karen shouted. This recommendation also appeared to go unheeded."BUSTER, NO!" a voice from the porch yelled, and Karen couldn't help but stare at her first glimpse of Dean in decades. He looked wild. Wild hair, wild beard, a body that had to be formed by the wilderness, itself. Not a drop of civilization tainted the essence of this man; and it made her want to laugh and cry at the same time. Karen began walking toward him, completely forgetting about the fearsome beast avalanche coming to bury her. Dean jumped down from the porch and began running toward the flurry of fur and teeth that had bent its path upon Karen's destruction.A split second before Buster reached Karen, the passenger of her vehicle silently flew out, tackled him with a full-body slam and the two went rolling back from where Karen now stood next to Dean. The two tumbled, tearing up the grass and knocking over the woodpile in the commotion. Buster yelped loudly and jumped free of the massive shaggy-furred beast that was still intent upon teaching him some manners. "Judith, come!" Karen called, and with a final snarl at Buster, Judith returned to where Karen stood and sat by her side, still glaring to where Buster stood looking dumbfounded."Well, I'll be damned;” Dean murmured, looking at the still-cowed Buster in wonder."Girl dog privilege," Karen replied simply. "What is that thing, anyway?" she asked, nodding to where Buster now stood whining and trying to approach the growling Judith."Bernese Mountain Dog; Great Pyrenees; and probably a bit of German Shepherd;” Dean murmured, turning toward her. His eyes traveled over her slowly and boldly."Judith's Akita and Malamute; she was turned into the shelter because she always thinks she's right," Karen said. "That, and she farts something awful."

 Karen Saves The Universe: Part 3Karen Embarks on a cure campaign.Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.Karen sighed, "Might as well. Let's go kill the libido of an entire civilization, Holland."Holland took her arm and soon the cell where she was held disappeared and another space formed around them. Captain Hemsworth and several crew members from the ship stood nearby, as well as Ensign Holland who was still holding her arm, reassuringly. Looking around, Karen saw that they were in what appeared to be a sound-booth of sorts. One crewmember activated some equipment and moved one protruding tentacle closer to Karen's mouth and another toward Captain Hemsworth's."Are we ready, Ellis?" Captain Hemsworth asked, clearing his throat. Ellis nodded and stepped back from the tentacles. Hemsworth tapped the end of the tentacle and a booming noise reverberated around the room. He cleared his throat several more times and straightened his collar. "People of Priam! Your deliverance has come! You sent us forth among the stars to find the cure to the horrid addiction of filth that has infiltrated our minds and we have not failed you! We have dedicated our lives to this effort, foregone having families, and any comforts of home to bring you this salvation! Behold; The Karen!" he proclaimed, gesturing for Karen to speak."Um; hi?" Karen said, unsurely. Hemsworth glanced at Ellis who was reading some type of display. Ellis frowned and motioned for her to continue speaking. "Um; my name is Karen;""Hi Karen;” several crew members responded unanimously before Captain Hemsworth cut them off with a gesture."Um; I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to say. I heard you're all having some troubles. I'm sorry. I know what that's like. I've had some troubles, too. I married the wrong person; someone who didn't really love me. I wasn't brave and I tried to avoid trouble too much. I had four kids, but they grew up seeing me treated badly, so they don't really see me as being worth much; if they don't need me to be a mom anymore, what good am I to them? I love them, but; I wish I had done more with my life. Now, I'm getting a divorce; and now that I'm in my 50's, I'm not young and beautiful anymore, so it's like I'm invisible to most people. My body hurts more than it used to; and I'm afraid most days. I don't know what's going to happen to me. Everything keeps changing and I don't know where I belong. I feel like I've failed all the time. But, they said that maybe I could help you, so; I hope I can help make things better for you. I'd like to see something good come out of all this," Karen said, wiping some tears off her cheeks. Holland stepped next to her and took her hand. She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder."Ellis?" Hemsworth asked.Ellis looked up from the display, a disconcerted expression on his face. "I don't understand;” he murmured, leaning down and feverishly working on the equipment. "They're hearing it. I know they're hearing it;”"It's not working? She just spoke more than it took to knock out the entire bridge crew! What do you mean it's not working?" Hemsworth said, frustrated. Karen looked at Holland, who simply shrugged.Captain Hemsworth frowned with determination and motioned to Karen, "Speak again. Louder. Talk about the cobb salad! Men, brace yourselves!" he ordered."Cobb salad?" Karen repeated, surprised. "Oh, well, um; it's just yummy. It's got hard boiled eggs, tomatoes, bacon, and avocado on a bed of lettuce; chives and bleu cheese over the top is good, too. The nice thing is that all the ingredients are put into neat little rows across the lettuce, so you can choose exactly what you want in each bite! It's not just a big mess like other salads. You know, I could make you one ; do you guys have avocadoes?" she said enthusiastically, looking to Holland.Holland immediately began looking up something on his hand-held computer. "Av-o-ca-does; do they yield their young willingly, or do we need to;""What the hell is going on???" Captain Hemsworth yelled, grabbing Holland's ear and looking inside. "Holland! You're not wearing protection! Why aren't you unconscious on the floor?""Oh, um; they were kind of uncomfortable, and they made it hard to hear what she was remembering, and;""You Remembered With The Karen? What Is Wrong With You?" Hemsworth shouted, before calming himself. "Momoa, get some caffeline ready. I need to hear her again," he said, bracing himself as he pulled what looked like slugs out of his ears. "Speak again about the salad;”"Okay, uh; most like to eat it with a vinaigrette? I think that gets to be a bit too much if there's bleu cheese on top, though. Sometimes I'll get it with ranch or something creamy because then;""What the hell, Holland! What did you do to The Karen? I barely feel anything!" Hemsworth yelled, grabbing Holland by the uniform."Um; I don't know; we just talked and remembered; you know, she's really nice, if you get to;""Dammit, You've Broken The Karen, Holland! How Are We Supposed To;" Captain Hemsworth yelled until he was interrupted by a knock nearby.Lieutenant Ellis activated a control on his display and a hole formed in the wall of the room. An assembly of Priamites entered the room, as smoothly as if they were rolled in on a platform together. The crew of the Onan immediately fell prostrate on the floor before them. Karen, unwilling to lie face-down on a floor she hadn't cleaned herself, looked around uncomfortably and gave the assembly a small wave. One Priamite raised her hand to return the gesture but was quickly stopped by her neighbor."Welcome, crew of the Onan," one of the assembly said, followed by the rest of the assembly nodding agreeably. "We are most appreciative of all your; efforts. We realize that you have dedicated several of your lifetimes to freeing our civilization from the throes of pornographic addiction, and for your many sacrifices, we thank you," the speaker said, then glanced around uncomfortably at the others. "Most unexpectedly, ah; while the Eros Curse was most distressing to the initial generations, the subsequent generations acclimated to it rather quickly. Then, as fashions changed, the Eros Curse became more of a joke, really; dance mixes were made, memes;”"Excuse me?" Captain Hemsworth said, lifting his face from the floor."I mean, sure, the Eros Curse is still out there. It's just that it's just become something people live with. It doesn't take over our lives, but some indulge in it a little after the kids have gone to bed for the night. I mean, it's not really such a big deal. It adds a little spice to an otherwise boring life, you know?""Boring life?" Hemsworth repeated, rising to his feet. "Are you telling me that all of Priam just walks around, living life, thinking about; that?""Well, yes, but we are very grateful for all you and your crew have done for us. We express our thanks to all the crews of the ships we loaded up with uptight intellectuals that were determined to rid our civilization of; alternative thoughts. We have come here to present you and your crew with a commemorative plaque for all your;""Is this some kind of joke?" Hemsworth said, pacing around. "I've been trekking throughout the universe looking for a cure to your abhorrent lust-filled thoughts and now you just want to give me a plaque for a lifetime of sacrifice because you don't see a problem with your disgusting sticky existence?""Well, there's no need to kink-shame;” the assembly spokesperson muttered, "Honestly, you never wondered why they sent the most uptight assholes on the planet off on a vague 'mission' and never really asked for progress reports?""I don't believe this;” Hemsworth said, his eyes bulging, nostrils flaring. "We've sacrificed our lives for nothing???""Oh, I see where this is going;” Karen said to Holland, who seemed to be trying to assume a duck-and-cover position."How could you do this to us???" Hemsworth yelled."Use the diaphragm for projection, baby; you can do it;” Karen encouraged."I Want; To See; The Manager!" Captain Hemsworth yelled at the top of his lungs, causing a feedback loop to screech throughout the room. The last thing Karen saw before falling unconscious was the sight of every Priamite in the room projectile vomiting on each other. The stench was overwhelming.Karen's Humility.Karen lifted her face off the bathroom floor, overwhelmed by the stench. She brushed off a spare piece of toilet paper stuck to her face, as she tried to remember what had happened. Her lungs burned from what she slowly recognized as pepper spray. She gathered her purse and stumbled out of the stall and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red, and a bruise was swelling where her cheek hit the floor. She splashed some cold water on her face and wiped off the makeup that streaked in the process. This was Snookers; not Baker's Pie. She had just ripped a kid a new asshole for not having cobb salad on the menu. What was she doing with her life?Upon exiting the bathroom, she ran into Travis the Waiter, who looked like he had just splashed water on his face, too. Dread and unease filled his face upon seeing her before it was quickly masked into concern. "Oh, um; are you okay? Can I get you some ice for that?" he asked, looking at the bruise on her cheek."What? Oh, no, honey. I'm okay. I just fell," she said, before meeting his eyes and taking his hand in hers. "Travis, I'm so sorry about the way I treated you. That was awful, and I have no excuse. You didn't deserve that.""It's okay; it happens," Travis said, carefully."It shouldn't, though. I was wrong, and I'm sorry. Would you mind if I just gave you some cash to cover the meal and snuck out of here? God knows what that group of biddies will gossip about when I go out there like this," Karen said, gesturing to herself."Yeah, that should be no problem," Travis said, taking the money she offered. "Are you sure you're okay?"Karen nodded, "I'm fine. I've just got some things to do. You've got a sweet heart, honey. Keep listening to it."Karen swallowed nervously as she went up the walkway to the small suburban house. She hadn't called before coming. It was rude of her not to call ahead of time, but then again, she was pretty sure that her number had been blocked. She didn't know if her oldest son had gone "no contact" or just "low contact" with her, but she was pretty sure her daughter-in-law would threaten to call the police within five minutes of her ringing the doorbell. Nevertheless, when she got up to the door, Karen put her finger forward and rang the bell."What do you want, Karen?" Hailey's terse voice came through the doorbell."Oh; you got one of those camera doorbell things; that's nice;” she began, unsure of how to say what was in her heart without a face in front of her."What do you want?" Hailey repeated."Um; I wanted to talk with you;""The last time you wanted to 'talk' with me, you just wanted to see my kids while you criticized my inadequate housekeeping, my inept child-rearing, and my unattractive post-pregnancy body. So, forgive me if I'd prefer not to have a heart-to-heart, Karen," Hailey interrupted."You're right," Karen said, looking at the dark circle holding the doorbell's camera. "I did that. I did that. I have not been kind to you. When Cal Jr. brought you home, I was not welcoming. I should have been; because you deserved that. You deserved it because you made my son happy. You have made him happier than I've ever known him to be; and that's what I've always wanted for him. If you were just like me, if you did all the things that I obnoxiously told you to do; he wouldn't be half as happy as he is with you; just as you are. If for no other reason than my son's happiness, you have my gratitude. I'm sorry that I've wasted the chances you've given me to know you better. You're brave and confident and funny. Honestly, I think you're the person I wished I could have been at your age. I'm sorry for a lot of things but being wasteful; saying thoughtless things that hardened people's hearts; those are the things that I wish I could take back the most. So, um;” Karen said, checking her notes on her phone's notepad to make sure she got all the points she wanted, "that's pretty much it. Oh, and I put that chocolate mousse recipe you liked on this index card so you can make it, but feel free to call me if you can't read my writing; or if you, you know, ever need anything."Karen nodded at the doorbell and started back down the walkway toward her car, blinking back tears. She had wasted so much time, so many chances. She didn't know if there was a point in trying again now, but she had to. She wasn't getting any younger.As she reached the end of the walkway, she was nearly knocked over by two little bodies running into her and grabbing onto her legs. Tears fell freely down her cheeks as she bent down to pick up her grandchildren, kissing them until they tried to wiggle away. As they started simultaneously telling her everything they had been doing while she was away, Karen's eyes drifted up to the doorway where her pierced and tattooed daughter-in-law stood. "Thank you" Karen mouthed silently over her grandchildren's backs.Karen pushed open the doors of Forest Glenn Hospice Care, her bag stuffed with an array of items and went up to the front desk. "Karen Weaver. I'm here for Dana Stevens," she said.The new girl at the reception desk looked at Karen with quiet unease. "Um; Ms. Stevens has requested only visitors who have;" Karen smirked and lifted the wig off her head, revealing her clean-shaven head. "Oh! Great! Go right in," she said, relieved.The corridor of the hospice facility was peaceful and quiet; exactly the kind of thing the old Dana would hate. Entering her room, Karen looked for any signs that other visitors had been to see Dana but saw nothing. Dana was napping again, her face drawn and gaunt, but thankfully not in pain. Karen put down her bag in a nearby chair and took out a rolled-up electronic piano keyboard and unfurled it on a table next to the hospital bed. As she was on her hands and knees trying to find an outlet to use, she heard Dana clear her throat. "What the hell is that?" she asked, smirking as she nodded at the keyboard."Your afternoon's entertainment. I ordered it on Amazon; you should have seen the bitchy reviews. Reminded me of you. Mind you, I haven't played since Cal got rid of the piano when it didn't fit in the Brooklyn apartment, so you're in for a treat," Karen said, rubbing her hands together and moving her glasses on top of her head so she could see the keyboard controls."Calvin Carmichael in a Brooklyn apartment. My god. What was it that emptied the Carmichael family coffers after they stole you away from me, again?" Dana asked, her sunken eyes taking in every detail of Karen's face as she hovered over the keyboard."Bernie Madoff; cleaned 'em dry. His parents were ever so shocked when they had to sell their properties and move to Florida," Karen said. "They weren't poor; they had enough to retire, but; they were horridly middle class.""Karma's a bitch," Dana said, pushing back against her pillows to sit up more. "Kare; I'm so sorry I didn't talk with you when you came back to the apartment. I could have helped you; we both would have helped you."Karen's smile faded, remembering and wondering what might have been. Dana would have helped her, but she was certain Dana's help would be help to get an abortion; and then she would never have had the joy of knowing her grandchildren. Dean would have; well, it was impossible to know what he would have done, but he would have helped. "Well, consider this your punishment," Karen said, stretching her fingers. "Are you ready?""I'm on opiates, baby. Bring it on;” Dana said, a smile moving across her face.Karen's fingers moved across the keys, and at first, she was put off by the strangeness of the keys and the sensation of tapping on something flat instead of the feel of a piano. Then, memory took over and her hands remembered the dance. Years fell away as she was filled again with the joy of making music. She started with "Clair de lune," a gentle Debussy chosen to respect the frailty of her friend's condition.Upon playing the final chords, she looked up for her friend's reaction to see that Dana had covered her face with a pillow in an attempt to smother herself. "God, you're rusty. You used to be better than me. What have you been doing with those hands?" she complained."Raising kids; kneading dough; finding random women's' panties when I changed sheets on the bed," Karen said, ruefully."Should've jumped Dean while you had the chance;” Dana murmured.Karen bit her lips and closed her eyes. "Um; how; how is he?"Dana stared into Karen's eyes for a painfully long moment, then looked out the window, away from Karen. "Life; life wasn't kind to him. After I graduated, he moved back home to take care of Nana. He only came to the city to look after me, anyway. Living alone hardened him. I haven't seen him in years; not that I'd want to see what he's become. Sometimes you just need to let people go, Kare," she said, sighing sadly. "Anyway; I need a laugh. Show me how pathetic your Jerry Lee Lewis catalog is.""Yes, ma'am," Karen said, blinking back tears and starting into "Great Balls of Fire."The wind coming through the drivers' side window ruffled the inch-long cap of vivid red hair that had grown on Karen's head as she drove down the winding West Virginia roads that she hadn't seen in 30 years. The beauty of this place still softened and relaxed her as much as it had, oh so long ago. Despite Dana's warnings, Karen's heart demanded that she make this trip; and after all she had lost, she was determined to listen to her heart from now on, until she could no longer hear it.She frowned at her passenger and began coughing as a noxious odor swirled around, filling her SUV. She rolled her window down further in self-preservation. This was probably a bad idea; but after all these years of thinking things through and being sensible, she felt entitled to indulge in a few harebrained schemes."Country road; take me home; to the place; I belong; West Virginia; mountain mama; take me home; country road;” she sang, smiling as the wooded foothills rose up in the distance. The path became rough when she turned by the Stevens mailbox and began bouncing up through the woods toward the cozy home. Her passenger surveyed the woods around the vehicle with increasing excitement.Karen started doubting herself, though. It was ridiculous, the more she thought about it. All her emails had gone unanswered. The phone number she was given was out of service. Three decades had passed since she came here; why would he want to see a 50-something woman with an unflattering haircut and stretch marks just because he had fallen in love with the 20-something version of her? Would Dean even remember her at all? She ran through her plan again in her mind again. It sounded really stupid, now. At least it would let her make a quick exit if things didn't work out, though.She broke out in a cold sweat when the house came into view. It was just as she had remembered it, maintained well, but not changed. It was like a holy place, kept perfectly through the ages in reverence for what it represented.She pulled up to the house and parked. No one emerged, so she would have to go in. She would have to go knock on that door and see the unrecognition or even disappointment in his eyes. She needed to go tell him about his sister. Opening the door, she slid out and hopped to the ground and stretched her legs. Suddenly, a braying roar filled the air and a wall of fur launched itself from behind the house and came for her. "SIT!" Karen yelled. Her command, though impressive, appeared only to be a gentle suggestion to the monster that continued to charge her. "STAY!" Karen shouted. This recommendation also appeared to go unheeded."BUSTER, NO!" a voice from the porch yelled, and Karen couldn't help but stare at her first glimpse of Dean in decades. He looked wild. Wild hair, wild beard, a body that had to be formed by the wilderness, itself. Not a drop of civilization tainted the essence of this man; and it made her want to laugh and cry at the same time. Karen began walking toward him, completely forgetting about the fearsome beast avalanche coming to bury her. Dean jumped down from the porch and began running toward the flurry of fur and teeth that had bent its path upon Karen's destruction.A split second before Buster reached Karen, the passenger of her vehicle silently flew out, tackled him with a full-body slam and the two went rolling back from where Karen now stood next to Dean. The two tumbled, tearing up the grass and knocking over the woodpile in the commotion. Buster yelped loudly and jumped free of the massive shaggy-furred beast that was still intent upon teaching him some manners. "Judith, come!" Karen called, and with a final snarl at Buster, Judith returned to where Karen stood and sat by her side, still glaring to where Buster stood looking dumbfounded."Well, I'll be damned;” Dean murmured, looking at the still-cowed Buster in wonder."Girl dog privilege," Karen replied simply. "What is that thing, anyway?" she asked, nodding to where Buster now stood whining and trying to approach the growling Judith."Bernese Mountain Dog; Great Pyrenees; and probably a bit of German Shepherd;” Dean murmured, turning toward her. His eyes traveled over her slowly and boldly."Judith's Akita and Malamute; she was turned into the shelter because she always thinks she's right," Karen said. "That, and she farts something awful."

 Karen Saves The Universe: Part 1Desperate aliens kidnap a Karen to save their world!Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.On the starship Onan, the Priamites dubiously watched the screen display the creature. Dr. Fehr's algorithm had brought them trekking across the galaxy to a smallish, blue planet around an unimpressive star. While there was no denying the power emitted by the angry, festering organic matter before them, the thought of containing it and bringing it back to Priam was daunting. Still, the fate of their world hung upon the success of their mission."Do we have; uh; audio yet, Lieutenant Cavill?" Captain Hemsworth said, pausing briefly to joylessly ejaculate into his cumsuit, which quickly reclaimed the essence he emitted and channeled it into one of the suit's containment pouches to be resorbed as nourishment.Ever since the people of Eros had unleashed their horrific weapon on them, the Priamites orgasmed almost constantly. The Eros Curse, which seemed like a gift at first, became a tool of enslavement and oppression as the great Priam civilization devolved into listless people who passed the time sitting and staring at nothing in particular. Even special holidays were simply spent gathered in each other's' houses, grunting intermittently. The children of Priam, spared by the curse of Eros by living in growth pods, were never exposed to the disease or its effects until the seemingly arbitrary age of 18, so at least there was no trouble with the censors. The demands of orgasming so frequently took its toll on the Priamite's bodies. Dehydration, muscle spasms, and fatigue were common. The effects on the mind were worse. It wasn't until the invention of the cumsuit, which not only reclaimed the fluid loss and prevented dehydration, but also reduced arousing sensations until the wearer was nearly numb, that it was possible for them to journey out into the stars in search of a cure.Guided by the ancient journals of the revered Dr. Fehr, the Priamites had come to a small planet where it was foretold that there was a force of great and terrible power. It was hoped that this force could be used to break free of the cruel Eros Curse, but time was running out. Even wearing the cumsuits, the crew of the Onan, who were the most stoic, intellectual and sexless men of Priam, felt themselves progressively weakening to the Curse. It was only a matter of time until they lost all sense of duty and simply went adrift through the universe."No audio yet, Captain. The resonant frequency is so shrill that if we don't modulate the pitch; uh;” Lieutenant Cavill replied, closing his eyes and shaking as he orgasmed, then collapsed and stared blankly at the control panels as he recovered.Another crewman took over at the panel, "Captain, I can give you audio, but only for a short time. Even on their planet, they; they; oh; oh fuck;” the replacement said, stiffening as he spurted inside his suit, then shook his head to clear it and looked to their leader for orders. Captain Hemsworth braced himself in his chair and nodded for him to activate audio.A horrendous braying screech filled the bridge, “ No Idea Why You People Can't Even Take An Order Right! I Ordered The Cobb Salad With Extra Avocado! I Don't Care If It's Not On There Or Not! Fix The Damn Menu! I Have Been Coming Here For Over 15 Years And I Know For A Fact That You People Had Cobb Salad On There Two Years Ago When You Were Called Baker's Pie;"Another voice interjected, soft and conciliatory, "Oh, yes, ma'am; I see the confusion. The Baker's Pie that was here went out of business. This restaurant is Snooker's, now, so we don't have the same menu, but our club salad is very similar to;""Are You Actually Interrupting Me? Get. Me. A. Cobb. Salad. Extra Avocado! Do You Understand? Extra Avocado! Mucho Amortado! Comprendo Estupido?"Even in that short interlude, most of the Onan's bridge crew had begun bleeding from their ears and collapsing onto the deck. Captain Hemsworth, a man of rare tolerance and stamina, struggled past their unconscious bodies to the control panel and lowered the volume until it was barely audible. "Computer, disburse caffeline into bridge life support systems, 15 parts per million," he mumbled, leaning on the control panel for support as the strong stimulant hissed into the room. He didn't like to use the drug, because the heightened energy it gave often led to periods of prolonged involuntary masturbation, but he couldn't afford to waste time for the crewmen to awaken naturally. Not when conditions were so dire on Priam.Lieutenant Cavill groaned and rose weakly, climbing back into his console chair and checking the readings. "What happened, Captain? Our scans showed a primitive civilization on the planet without any meaningful defenses. What was that? Some kind of weapon?" he asked.Captain Hemsworth did a double-take at the crewman in wonder, but he said nothing. All around him, he watched the rest of the crew slowly getting to their feet and going back to their positions. All the men were alert, aware, and focused on their duties. Several of them were talking to each other; in full uninterrupted sentences. No one drooled, no one's eyes rolled back; not one of them stared off into space, as if dully re-living the curse that had infected their brains. He, himself, had not even felt the urge to sexually relieve himself once, even with the high levels of caffeline in the air. Indeed, he had not felt anything below the waist; not since he heard that voice. He doubted whether he would have the urge to orgasm ever again. They had finally done it."That was no weapon, Cavill; it is what we came here to find. It's the cure that Dr. Fehr told us was here all along. Contact High Command and tell them; tell them we found it. Tell them we have found; The Karen.The man-eating woman.After straightening out the incompetent waiter on her order, Karen Carmichael excused herself from her prayer group's table and walked to the restrooms, incensed. What kind of man actually cries when taking an order for a salad? Probably gay; or whatever kids were calling themselves these days. Was there such a thing as "gay" anymore, when people "identified" themselves as whatever the hell occurred to them? What was the point of picking a sexuality when people didn't even have a species anymore?Of course, Travis the Waiter had to play the victim about it, too, making the entire restaurant gawk over at their table like they were monsters. He probably knew they were a nice church group and went out of his way to make trouble. Sure, they all scream for "tolerance," but their types couldn't wait to attack nice people of faith like her who showed the world what it was to be decent and pure of heart. Well, he could just kiss his tip money goodbye! Tipping had gotten ridiculous anyway; a generation of whiny babies feeling entitled to extra money just for doing their jobs. ‘If ‘; they did their jobs. She couldn't even get a salad; and, by God, if the Manager didn't make things right, her Yelp review on this place would burn a hole through people's screens!Karen pushed on the door to the restroom tightly clutching her can of pepper spray, because sexual predators were always trying to rape women like her in public restrooms, and she nearly screamed when the door opened. Wet paper towels were everywhere. The garbage bin was overflowing, and some slob had splashed water all over the sink area! Now, she'd have to make the Manager take care of this, too! More drama, when she just wanted to have a nice lunch with her friends. And, of course, the Manager would just try to ‘handle ‘; her; as if she was some unreasonable bitch just for wanting to use a facility that wasn't absolutely disgusting! Then looking near her, but not at her, the Manager would apologize in that fake-nice voice and offer to comp her meal; offering her even more of what was bad in the first place. Managers and their fake apologies. They weren't sorry. The soulless jerks never meant it. They just wanted her to go away; acting like she was a scamming thief instead of someone who just wanted to be treated decently.She settled on the toilet and tried to calm herself. Lately, half the time she wanted to cry, or scream, or tear out her hair; but it wouldn't matter. Nothing would change. Everything changed around her, though. Menus; her children; hairstyles; prices; everything changed. It felt like everything had just left her behind. She looked everywhere for the things she used to love, but she couldn't find them anymore; and if she did find them, they weren't the same as they once were. Nothing made her feel her joy like she used to. That was it. Maybe she was done; that her turn at having any real joy was over. Now, the only time anyone tried to make her happy, or even looked at her, was when she screamed at them.Karen opened her eyes to a rattling sound at the door of her long, handicapped-bathroom stall. "Occupied!" she called out. To her dismay, the dial holding the sliding bolt turned all by itself and the door unlocked. "Hey! Get out!" she yelled, grabbing her pepper spray and holding it in front of her while she tried to stand and pull up her yoga pants."Nice human; good human;” a vaguely disembodied male voice said as a dark, hooded figure in a bizarre form-fitting spacesuit stepped into her stall holding what looked like a staff with a flexible loop affixed to the end of it. It slowly stepped toward her, as cautiously as one might approach a spooked animal. "Human want a nice piece of kale? Yes you do! Yes you do! Who's a good human?" it asked, holding out a curly dark green leaf to her and shaking it temptingly."What the hell?" she yelled, fumbling with the pepper spray can and trying to figure out how to make it work, just as the loop at the end of the staff went down over her head and around her neck, cinching tight.Karen choked, clutching at the loop with one hand, trying to loosen it so she could breathe, and with the other she emptied the can of pepper spray into the hooded face of her attacker. She struggled wildly, but the staff with the loop effectively controlled her and prevented her from landing any punches or kicks on her attacker. As darkness started creeping in on her vision, the last thing she saw was the figure deeply inhale the cloud of pepper spray and hold its breath, then say in a choked voice, "Ready for transport, sir; and man, they've got some good shit down here;”The forgotten leaf of kale fell down next to where Karen's cheek was pressed against the filthy bathroom floor, and with what she feared was her dying breath she choked out, "I want; to see; the; Manager;”Karen's ne victim."I used kale, Sir. Worked like a charm. It's one of the most nutritionally dense materials on the planet, so naturally, it was irresistible," a larger Priamite said to Captain Hemsworth, as he stripped out of his protective suit in a small enclave, bathed in an undulating light.Captain Hemsworth nodded. "Good work, Commander Momoa. Decontaminate for a full four cycles and I want protective measures in place for all personnel. God knows what this thing is capable of when it wakes."Karen heard garbled voices nearby, but kept her eyes closed and tried to steady her breathing. What had happened? The air smelled odd; almost crackling with ozone and energy, like a storm coming. The ambient sounds of the room told her she was not in Snookers anymore. Probably human traffickers. She saw a whole show about it. The bastards kidnapped her and were going to sell her into sexual slavery; except that she wasn't a teenager. She was 51 years old. Nobody would pay for sex with her, much less risk a felony conviction for it. Any ransom demands sent to her husband were going to have disappointing results, as well. So, what was going on? Why was she here? The kids were in college and wouldn't even notice she was gone until Christmas came. Her friends; her passive-aggressive competitors, if she was being honest; they'd just assume she left in a huff and stiffed them on the lunch check. The cold, hard truth was: nobody cared about her anymore and she knew it. That meant, if she was going to get out of this, she would have to do it herself. Her cheek hurt where it had hit that disgusting bathroom floor and she reached her hand up to touch it. The voices yelped in alarm and Karen opened her eyes to see two figures backing away from the enclosure she was imprisoned in."Who the hell are you, and what have you done with my purse?" she yelled, pushing herself to her feet. She walked toward them, crossing her arms and glaring. "I want whoever is in charge over here right now! I mean it!" she yelled, pointing as she walked toward them. One of the figures screamed, clutched at his ears and doubled over, staggering around the room dramatically. The other, larger one she recognized from the restaurant bathroom was in some tanning-booth-looking-thing, half naked and gorgeous in a likely-sexual-predator kind of way. Rather than flailing around the room, he seemed to have gone into a catatonic trance. God, people were useless. "You! Himbo!" she shouted, pointing at him. "Where is my purse? Did you even think to get it when you kidnapped me, or am I going to miss my Ozempic shot? I hope to God you assholes have good lawyers!"The beefy kidnapper in the tanning booth wobbled, then vomited loudly. Karen snorted as he slid down to the floor, unconscious. Pathetic. The smaller figure dove toward a panel on the wall next to her enclosure and pressed a few buttons and she heard the ambient noise of her room change, like it was encased, somehow."I've muted it. It's become even stronger than before;” Captain Hemsworth gasped, helping Commander Momoa to his feet again."How are we going to get it back to Priam? We could choke it out again every time it awakens; give the privilege out as a reward to the crew?" Commander Momoa suggested eagerly."No," Captain Hemsworth said, coming closer to the force field separating him from the angry Karen still yelling and pointing from inside the enclosure. "The cumulative effects of throttling it constantly might affect its functioning. We need The Karen at full power if we are to rescue Priam. We need to keep it conscious. We must feed it, provide it breathing gasses, and keep it clean; it appears to be constantly decaying. That reminds me ; cleaning duty goes to Ensign Holland. He's still on my shit list after the incident with the Zendayans.""Aye, sir."Captain Hemsworth cleared his throat and pressed another button on the side panel. "Hail Karen, bringer of blessed flaccidity, destroyer of abhorrent lust, and banisher of all erotic thought. We are men of the planet Priam. We mean you no harm. We come to you seeking aid, and we come in peace. Actually, until we found you, we would come almost constantly. It was disgusting. Everything was sticky. You see, our enemies from Eros sent us the most perfect pornographic images disguised in an innocent-looking email attachment. Once they were seen, they could not be unseen. They were burned into our brains, cursing us with perpetual arousal. The first wave of Priamites were taken by surprise once they activated the link. The next wave fell victim when the first wave posted the link on their social media because it was just so unbelievably; anyway, after the rest of our population fell out of curiosity or boredom, our civilization was nearly destroyed. We have been searching the stars for a cure, but to no avail. Then, just as all hope seemed lost, we found you; we heard your voice; and our loins finally withered. You are now a guest on my ship, The Onan, en route to my homeworld Priam. There, we will deliver your noxious, strident sounds to everyone, freeing them from their intransigent arousal. Then, after we are assured that all have been cured, we shall return you to your home."At this, Karen made an unpleasant face and began breathing on the clear wall of her enclosure, fogging it. Then, she quickly wrote a short message. "What does it mean?" Commander Momoa said, squinting at the squiggling lines she had made.At this, the computer made a chirp and began speaking, "The message, from the American dialect of the language English translates to: Why didn't you just make a recording?"Captain Hemsworth's shoulders slumped and he closed his eyes with a sigh. Commander Momoa's eyes went wide and he clapped his hand over his face in exasperation. "Fuck;” Momoa said in realization. "A recording;”"Dammit. We didn't have to take her at all, did we?" Captain Hemsworth groaned.Karen glared at them and wrote another word on the wall. As certain as Captain Hemsworth was that he did not need or want the translation, the computer was already on the job. "'Dumbasses,'" the computer cheerfully intoned, "a colloquial phrase, plural of the insult 'dumbass,' meaning 'a foolish or stupid person.'""End translation. Yes, Karen, if we had thought to record your voice instead of kidnapping you, this might have been a much shorter story, and considerably less inconvenient, but as it is, we are closer to Priam than Earth at this point, and our course is set. We will bring you to Priam and then return you home. Perhaps kidnapping you was not the most well-considered solution, but I defy you to think clearly after constantly watching porn for eons and let me know if you do any better."Karen's new calling.Great; as if getting old wasn't insult enough, I've actually become an intergalactic sexual repellent, Karen thought to herself as she paced around her cell. A lifetime of trying to do things right, and this is what it gets me. She wasn't so surprised that there were aliens in the universe, or that they had somehow weaponized porn, but that with all their advancements they were still so stupid!Sighing, she closed her eyes and listened to the ambient sounds of her cell. Life had been so noisy, the last 30 years. Everyone needing her, pulling on her for one thing or another. No peace. Lately though, with the kids gone and Cal; otherwise occupied; life had gone silent. The silence that she had wished for held no peace when it finally came. It just reverberated with the memory of things that had left her behind, making her anxious to fill the emptiness with noise. Nothing came to lure her mind away from the silence, no pleasurable temptations; her duties were done and it felt wrong to do, or even think about, anything else. My god, she had been kidnapped, was flying through the galaxy, and was surrounded by beefcake aliens and she was still thinking about that stupid loose tile in the master bathroom; she needed to get it fixed before the house was sold.A slight sound outside her cell drew her attention. "Who's there?" Karen asked, softly, opening her eyes.A wide-eyed figure peered around the edge of her cell, moving with cautious curiosity. It seemed younger than the other ones. It moved with a sense of barely-restrained eagerness, adorable and earnest. It also held a curved sort of wand in its hand."Honey, if you're here to anally probe me, I'll pass. I already had a colonoscopy this year, I'll have them send you the records;” she murmured, not expecting an answer.After a pause as the figure listened to the translation, its large eyes got even wider. "Is that how you poop?" he asked."What?" she asked, looking more closely at the young alien."I'm supposed to clean your cell when you poop; but you haven't pooped yet; wait, do colonoscopies make you poop?" it asked, scandalized.Karen closed her eyes and shook her head, "No. Colonoscopies put a small camera up your ass so that we can pay a doctor to do what we were afraid aliens like you would do to us if we got drunk in cornfields too much. They don't make us poop. In fact; well, never mind;” she trailed off, embarrassed.She still had vivid memories of her first colonoscopy earlier in the year, drinking gallons of preparatory laxatives, and the resulting quality time with her phone on the toilet. It was an odd experience; not awful, but not one that she could talk to anyone about. Her friends only talked about their kids and their successes, or whose husband cheated on them with some young thing, viciously salivating over their friends' misery with barely concealed glee. Forget about talking through her fears about it with Cal; that wasn't something he was interested in. Not anymore.After the procedure, she had been scared and disoriented from the sedation. For whatever reason, Cal hadn't shown up to give her a ride home. The stupid clinic wouldn't let her leave until someone could drive her home and take care of her. She just sat there getting more and more anxious. Eventually, she called an Uber and begged Xabiib the driver to pretend to be her neighbor; or just someone who cared about her. She spent the ride home trying to say his name correctly while he chuckled and repeated it for her. It was so horrifyingly embarrassing. It's one thing to have no one care about you, but another thing to have the whole world know about it when you were helpless and confused.Tears had rolled down her cheeks and she absently wiped them off with her hand. The young alien sat up and craned his head to look at the liquid on her hand. Karen snorted, "At ease, Holland. It's not poop. You're not getting anything out of me unless you have some heavy-duty magnesium supplements or yogurt."Holland's eyes went wide, "Are humans telepathic???" he gasped. "How did you know my name? Wow, that's so cool! Do it again! What am I thinking about now?"Karen suppressed a smile. Closing her eyes, she pressed her fingers to her temples and swayed from side to side, mysteriously. "I see something; something in the mist; something about; could it be; no, it makes no sense. Is it; a Zen; Zendayan? Does that make any sense to you?" she asked.Holland dropped his curved instrument in shock. "Yes! Yes! We just met them! We negotiated with them for supplies! I was there to carry stuff and; and;” he paused, shrinking in on himself a bit. "They are so beautiful. The Zendayans? So beautiful; and super nice; and just; like wow; I was supposed to just stand there until they were done with the talking and bowing and stuff, but they were just like so beautiful.""Well, what happened?" Karen asked."Captain introduced me and I bowed to them. I was feeling dizzy because, you know, their beautifulness just keeps radiating off them. Then; then; the most beautiful of them; she smiled." Holland stared at nothing, immersed in the memory, then wobbled, tipped over, and lay on the floor staring at the ceiling.Karen bit her lips in amusement. "I see. What did you do then?""I; I; I started talking and then I just couldn't stop because I was just trying to say how beautiful she was and how it just made my mind explode when she smiled and then I might have peed on the floor.""Oh dear," Karen said, cringing in sympathy. "We don't always put forward the face we want to when we are in our feelings, do we?" she said, quietly."Yeah; I've been cleaning poop ever since;” Holland sighed. After a while he sat back up, picked up the curved instrument and began twirling it in his hands. "So, like; what about you? Have you always made horrible noises?" he asked.Karen huffed, but then she saw the oblivious earnestness in Holland's face and sighed. "No; I wasn't always; like this. In fact, until about 30 years ago, I made beautiful noises. I was a pianist," she said."But, wait, they said you were a female;” Holland said, confused."Pee, an, ist," Karen repeated slowly. "I played the piano. It's an instrument; I was a musician. I was a student at Juilliard. It's a school on Earth; it was like a dream to even get in. I was on a scholarship, living in this shoddy apartment with my roommate Dana;” she trailed off, thinking about those days when everything seemed possible."Wait! Are you remembering?" Holland asked, breaking her reverie. "Can I remember it, too? Nobody wants to remember with me ever since the Zendayans, so I'm just left with my own memories and it gets so boring.""What are you talking about?""Well, it's kinda like; um; let me just show you. Computer, scan The Karen and project her memories," Holland ordered. A humming noise filled the room and a beam of light shot out of the wall and passed over her several times. Suddenly, her cell transformed into her shoddy apartment in Newark, New Jersey."Oh my gosh; it's just like it," Karen gasped looking around."Humans dream of getting into this?" Holland said, scrutinizing a cockroach scurrying along the floor."No, silly. This was our apartment across the river. We lived here when we weren't at school. Dana and I moved off campus in our second year. We took jobs on the side through an agency. That was when;” she sat down and a phone in the apartment's bedroom began ringing.A long, pale arm reached out of a pile of blankets on the bed and grabbed the phone. "Hullo?" Dana mumbled. A voice on the phone sounded irate. "Yeah, I'm almost there," she said and hung up.

 Karen Saves The Universe: Part 1Desperate aliens kidnap a Karen to save their world!Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.On the starship Onan, the Priamites dubiously watched the screen display the creature. Dr. Fehr's algorithm had brought them trekking across the galaxy to a smallish, blue planet around an unimpressive star. While there was no denying the power emitted by the angry, festering organic matter before them, the thought of containing it and bringing it back to Priam was daunting. Still, the fate of their world hung upon the success of their mission."Do we have; uh; audio yet, Lieutenant Cavill?" Captain Hemsworth said, pausing briefly to joylessly ejaculate into his cumsuit, which quickly reclaimed the essence he emitted and channeled it into one of the suit's containment pouches to be resorbed as nourishment.Ever since the people of Eros had unleashed their horrific weapon on them, the Priamites orgasmed almost constantly. The Eros Curse, which seemed like a gift at first, became a tool of enslavement and oppression as the great Priam civilization devolved into listless people who passed the time sitting and staring at nothing in particular. Even special holidays were simply spent gathered in each other's' houses, grunting intermittently. The children of Priam, spared by the curse of Eros by living in growth pods, were never exposed to the disease or its effects until the seemingly arbitrary age of 18, so at least there was no trouble with the censors. The demands of orgasming so frequently took its toll on the Priamite's bodies. Dehydration, muscle spasms, and fatigue were common. The effects on the mind were worse. It wasn't until the invention of the cumsuit, which not only reclaimed the fluid loss and prevented dehydration, but also reduced arousing sensations until the wearer was nearly numb, that it was possible for them to journey out into the stars in search of a cure.Guided by the ancient journals of the revered Dr. Fehr, the Priamites had come to a small planet where it was foretold that there was a force of great and terrible power. It was hoped that this force could be used to break free of the cruel Eros Curse, but time was running out. Even wearing the cumsuits, the crew of the Onan, who were the most stoic, intellectual and sexless men of Priam, felt themselves progressively weakening to the Curse. It was only a matter of time until they lost all sense of duty and simply went adrift through the universe."No audio yet, Captain. The resonant frequency is so shrill that if we don't modulate the pitch; uh;” Lieutenant Cavill replied, closing his eyes and shaking as he orgasmed, then collapsed and stared blankly at the control panels as he recovered.Another crewman took over at the panel, "Captain, I can give you audio, but only for a short time. Even on their planet, they; they; oh; oh fuck;” the replacement said, stiffening as he spurted inside his suit, then shook his head to clear it and looked to their leader for orders. Captain Hemsworth braced himself in his chair and nodded for him to activate audio.A horrendous braying screech filled the bridge, “ No Idea Why You People Can't Even Take An Order Right! I Ordered The Cobb Salad With Extra Avocado! I Don't Care If It's Not On There Or Not! Fix The Damn Menu! I Have Been Coming Here For Over 15 Years And I Know For A Fact That You People Had Cobb Salad On There Two Years Ago When You Were Called Baker's Pie;"Another voice interjected, soft and conciliatory, "Oh, yes, ma'am; I see the confusion. The Baker's Pie that was here went out of business. This restaurant is Snooker's, now, so we don't have the same menu, but our club salad is very similar to;""Are You Actually Interrupting Me? Get. Me. A. Cobb. Salad. Extra Avocado! Do You Understand? Extra Avocado! Mucho Amortado! Comprendo Estupido?"Even in that short interlude, most of the Onan's bridge crew had begun bleeding from their ears and collapsing onto the deck. Captain Hemsworth, a man of rare tolerance and stamina, struggled past their unconscious bodies to the control panel and lowered the volume until it was barely audible. "Computer, disburse caffeline into bridge life support systems, 15 parts per million," he mumbled, leaning on the control panel for support as the strong stimulant hissed into the room. He didn't like to use the drug, because the heightened energy it gave often led to periods of prolonged involuntary masturbation, but he couldn't afford to waste time for the crewmen to awaken naturally. Not when conditions were so dire on Priam.Lieutenant Cavill groaned and rose weakly, climbing back into his console chair and checking the readings. "What happened, Captain? Our scans showed a primitive civilization on the planet without any meaningful defenses. What was that? Some kind of weapon?" he asked.Captain Hemsworth did a double-take at the crewman in wonder, but he said nothing. All around him, he watched the rest of the crew slowly getting to their feet and going back to their positions. All the men were alert, aware, and focused on their duties. Several of them were talking to each other; in full uninterrupted sentences. No one drooled, no one's eyes rolled back; not one of them stared off into space, as if dully re-living the curse that had infected their brains. He, himself, had not even felt the urge to sexually relieve himself once, even with the high levels of caffeline in the air. Indeed, he had not felt anything below the waist; not since he heard that voice. He doubted whether he would have the urge to orgasm ever again. They had finally done it."That was no weapon, Cavill; it is what we came here to find. It's the cure that Dr. Fehr told us was here all along. Contact High Command and tell them; tell them we found it. Tell them we have found; The Karen.The man-eating woman.After straightening out the incompetent waiter on her order, Karen Carmichael excused herself from her prayer group's table and walked to the restrooms, incensed. What kind of man actually cries when taking an order for a salad? Probably gay; or whatever kids were calling themselves these days. Was there such a thing as "gay" anymore, when people "identified" themselves as whatever the hell occurred to them? What was the point of picking a sexuality when people didn't even have a species anymore?Of course, Travis the Waiter had to play the victim about it, too, making the entire restaurant gawk over at their table like they were monsters. He probably knew they were a nice church group and went out of his way to make trouble. Sure, they all scream for "tolerance," but their types couldn't wait to attack nice people of faith like her who showed the world what it was to be decent and pure of heart. Well, he could just kiss his tip money goodbye! Tipping had gotten ridiculous anyway; a generation of whiny babies feeling entitled to extra money just for doing their jobs. ‘If ‘; they did their jobs. She couldn't even get a salad; and, by God, if the Manager didn't make things right, her Yelp review on this place would burn a hole through people's screens!Karen pushed on the door to the restroom tightly clutching her can of pepper spray, because sexual predators were always trying to rape women like her in public restrooms, and she nearly screamed when the door opened. Wet paper towels were everywhere. The garbage bin was overflowing, and some slob had splashed water all over the sink area! Now, she'd have to make the Manager take care of this, too! More drama, when she just wanted to have a nice lunch with her friends. And, of course, the Manager would just try to ‘handle ‘; her; as if she was some unreasonable bitch just for wanting to use a facility that wasn't absolutely disgusting! Then looking near her, but not at her, the Manager would apologize in that fake-nice voice and offer to comp her meal; offering her even more of what was bad in the first place. Managers and their fake apologies. They weren't sorry. The soulless jerks never meant it. They just wanted her to go away; acting like she was a scamming thief instead of someone who just wanted to be treated decently.She settled on the toilet and tried to calm herself. Lately, half the time she wanted to cry, or scream, or tear out her hair; but it wouldn't matter. Nothing would change. Everything changed around her, though. Menus; her children; hairstyles; prices; everything changed. It felt like everything had just left her behind. She looked everywhere for the things she used to love, but she couldn't find them anymore; and if she did find them, they weren't the same as they once were. Nothing made her feel her joy like she used to. That was it. Maybe she was done; that her turn at having any real joy was over. Now, the only time anyone tried to make her happy, or even looked at her, was when she screamed at them.Karen opened her eyes to a rattling sound at the door of her long, handicapped-bathroom stall. "Occupied!" she called out. To her dismay, the dial holding the sliding bolt turned all by itself and the door unlocked. "Hey! Get out!" she yelled, grabbing her pepper spray and holding it in front of her while she tried to stand and pull up her yoga pants."Nice human; good human;” a vaguely disembodied male voice said as a dark, hooded figure in a bizarre form-fitting spacesuit stepped into her stall holding what looked like a staff with a flexible loop affixed to the end of it. It slowly stepped toward her, as cautiously as one might approach a spooked animal. "Human want a nice piece of kale? Yes you do! Yes you do! Who's a good human?" it asked, holding out a curly dark green leaf to her and shaking it temptingly."What the hell?" she yelled, fumbling with the pepper spray can and trying to figure out how to make it work, just as the loop at the end of the staff went down over her head and around her neck, cinching tight.Karen choked, clutching at the loop with one hand, trying to loosen it so she could breathe, and with the other she emptied the can of pepper spray into the hooded face of her attacker. She struggled wildly, but the staff with the loop effectively controlled her and prevented her from landing any punches or kicks on her attacker. As darkness started creeping in on her vision, the last thing she saw was the figure deeply inhale the cloud of pepper spray and hold its breath, then say in a choked voice, "Ready for transport, sir; and man, they've got some good shit down here;”The forgotten leaf of kale fell down next to where Karen's cheek was pressed against the filthy bathroom floor, and with what she feared was her dying breath she choked out, "I want; to see; the; Manager;”Karen's ne victim."I used kale, Sir. Worked like a charm. It's one of the most nutritionally dense materials on the planet, so naturally, it was irresistible," a larger Priamite said to Captain Hemsworth, as he stripped out of his protective suit in a small enclave, bathed in an undulating light.Captain Hemsworth nodded. "Good work, Commander Momoa. Decontaminate for a full four cycles and I want protective measures in place for all personnel. God knows what this thing is capable of when it wakes."Karen heard garbled voices nearby, but kept her eyes closed and tried to steady her breathing. What had happened? The air smelled odd; almost crackling with ozone and energy, like a storm coming. The ambient sounds of the room told her she was not in Snookers anymore. Probably human traffickers. She saw a whole show about it. The bastards kidnapped her and were going to sell her into sexual slavery; except that she wasn't a teenager. She was 51 years old. Nobody would pay for sex with her, much less risk a felony conviction for it. Any ransom demands sent to her husband were going to have disappointing results, as well. So, what was going on? Why was she here? The kids were in college and wouldn't even notice she was gone until Christmas came. Her friends; her passive-aggressive competitors, if she was being honest; they'd just assume she left in a huff and stiffed them on the lunch check. The cold, hard truth was: nobody cared about her anymore and she knew it. That meant, if she was going to get out of this, she would have to do it herself. Her cheek hurt where it had hit that disgusting bathroom floor and she reached her hand up to touch it. The voices yelped in alarm and Karen opened her eyes to see two figures backing away from the enclosure she was imprisoned in."Who the hell are you, and what have you done with my purse?" she yelled, pushing herself to her feet. She walked toward them, crossing her arms and glaring. "I want whoever is in charge over here right now! I mean it!" she yelled, pointing as she walked toward them. One of the figures screamed, clutched at his ears and doubled over, staggering around the room dramatically. The other, larger one she recognized from the restaurant bathroom was in some tanning-booth-looking-thing, half naked and gorgeous in a likely-sexual-predator kind of way. Rather than flailing around the room, he seemed to have gone into a catatonic trance. God, people were useless. "You! Himbo!" she shouted, pointing at him. "Where is my purse? Did you even think to get it when you kidnapped me, or am I going to miss my Ozempic shot? I hope to God you assholes have good lawyers!"The beefy kidnapper in the tanning booth wobbled, then vomited loudly. Karen snorted as he slid down to the floor, unconscious. Pathetic. The smaller figure dove toward a panel on the wall next to her enclosure and pressed a few buttons and she heard the ambient noise of her room change, like it was encased, somehow."I've muted it. It's become even stronger than before;” Captain Hemsworth gasped, helping Commander Momoa to his feet again."How are we going to get it back to Priam? We could choke it out again every time it awakens; give the privilege out as a reward to the crew?" Commander Momoa suggested eagerly."No," Captain Hemsworth said, coming closer to the force field separating him from the angry Karen still yelling and pointing from inside the enclosure. "The cumulative effects of throttling it constantly might affect its functioning. We need The Karen at full power if we are to rescue Priam. We need to keep it conscious. We must feed it, provide it breathing gasses, and keep it clean; it appears to be constantly decaying. That reminds me ; cleaning duty goes to Ensign Holland. He's still on my shit list after the incident with the Zendayans.""Aye, sir."Captain Hemsworth cleared his throat and pressed another button on the side panel. "Hail Karen, bringer of blessed flaccidity, destroyer of abhorrent lust, and banisher of all erotic thought. We are men of the planet Priam. We mean you no harm. We come to you seeking aid, and we come in peace. Actually, until we found you, we would come almost constantly. It was disgusting. Everything was sticky. You see, our enemies from Eros sent us the most perfect pornographic images disguised in an innocent-looking email attachment. Once they were seen, they could not be unseen. They were burned into our brains, cursing us with perpetual arousal. The first wave of Priamites were taken by surprise once they activated the link. The next wave fell victim when the first wave posted the link on their social media because it was just so unbelievably; anyway, after the rest of our population fell out of curiosity or boredom, our civilization was nearly destroyed. We have been searching the stars for a cure, but to no avail. Then, just as all hope seemed lost, we found you; we heard your voice; and our loins finally withered. You are now a guest on my ship, The Onan, en route to my homeworld Priam. There, we will deliver your noxious, strident sounds to everyone, freeing them from their intransigent arousal. Then, after we are assured that all have been cured, we shall return you to your home."At this, Karen made an unpleasant face and began breathing on the clear wall of her enclosure, fogging it. Then, she quickly wrote a short message. "What does it mean?" Commander Momoa said, squinting at the squiggling lines she had made.At this, the computer made a chirp and began speaking, "The message, from the American dialect of the language English translates to: Why didn't you just make a recording?"Captain Hemsworth's shoulders slumped and he closed his eyes with a sigh. Commander Momoa's eyes went wide and he clapped his hand over his face in exasperation. "Fuck;” Momoa said in realization. "A recording;”"Dammit. We didn't have to take her at all, did we?" Captain Hemsworth groaned.Karen glared at them and wrote another word on the wall. As certain as Captain Hemsworth was that he did not need or want the translation, the computer was already on the job. "'Dumbasses,'" the computer cheerfully intoned, "a colloquial phrase, plural of the insult 'dumbass,' meaning 'a foolish or stupid person.'""End translation. Yes, Karen, if we had thought to record your voice instead of kidnapping you, this might have been a much shorter story, and considerably less inconvenient, but as it is, we are closer to Priam than Earth at this point, and our course is set. We will bring you to Priam and then return you home. Perhaps kidnapping you was not the most well-considered solution, but I defy you to think clearly after constantly watching porn for eons and let me know if you do any better."Karen's new calling.Great; as if getting old wasn't insult enough, I've actually become an intergalactic sexual repellent, Karen thought to herself as she paced around her cell. A lifetime of trying to do things right, and this is what it gets me. She wasn't so surprised that there were aliens in the universe, or that they had somehow weaponized porn, but that with all their advancements they were still so stupid!Sighing, she closed her eyes and listened to the ambient sounds of her cell. Life had been so noisy, the last 30 years. Everyone needing her, pulling on her for one thing or another. No peace. Lately though, with the kids gone and Cal; otherwise occupied; life had gone silent. The silence that she had wished for held no peace when it finally came. It just reverberated with the memory of things that had left her behind, making her anxious to fill the emptiness with noise. Nothing came to lure her mind away from the silence, no pleasurable temptations; her duties were done and it felt wrong to do, or even think about, anything else. My god, she had been kidnapped, was flying through the galaxy, and was surrounded by beefcake aliens and she was still thinking about that stupid loose tile in the master bathroom; she needed to get it fixed before the house was sold.A slight sound outside her cell drew her attention. "Who's there?" Karen asked, softly, opening her eyes.A wide-eyed figure peered around the edge of her cell, moving with cautious curiosity. It seemed younger than the other ones. It moved with a sense of barely-restrained eagerness, adorable and earnest. It also held a curved sort of wand in its hand."Honey, if you're here to anally probe me, I'll pass. I already had a colonoscopy this year, I'll have them send you the records;” she murmured, not expecting an answer.After a pause as the figure listened to the translation, its large eyes got even wider. "Is that how you poop?" he asked."What?" she asked, looking more closely at the young alien."I'm supposed to clean your cell when you poop; but you haven't pooped yet; wait, do colonoscopies make you poop?" it asked, scandalized.Karen closed her eyes and shook her head, "No. Colonoscopies put a small camera up your ass so that we can pay a doctor to do what we were afraid aliens like you would do to us if we got drunk in cornfields too much. They don't make us poop. In fact; well, never mind;” she trailed off, embarrassed.She still had vivid memories of her first colonoscopy earlier in the year, drinking gallons of preparatory laxatives, and the resulting quality time with her phone on the toilet. It was an odd experience; not awful, but not one that she could talk to anyone about. Her friends only talked about their kids and their successes, or whose husband cheated on them with some young thing, viciously salivating over their friends' misery with barely concealed glee. Forget about talking through her fears about it with Cal; that wasn't something he was interested in. Not anymore.After the procedure, she had been scared and disoriented from the sedation. For whatever reason, Cal hadn't shown up to give her a ride home. The stupid clinic wouldn't let her leave until someone could drive her home and take care of her. She just sat there getting more and more anxious. Eventually, she called an Uber and begged Xabiib the driver to pretend to be her neighbor; or just someone who cared about her. She spent the ride home trying to say his name correctly while he chuckled and repeated it for her. It was so horrifyingly embarrassing. It's one thing to have no one care about you, but another thing to have the whole world know about it when you were helpless and confused.Tears had rolled down her cheeks and she absently wiped them off with her hand. The young alien sat up and craned his head to look at the liquid on her hand. Karen snorted, "At ease, Holland. It's not poop. You're not getting anything out of me unless you have some heavy-duty magnesium supplements or yogurt."Holland's eyes went wide, "Are humans telepathic???" he gasped. "How did you know my name? Wow, that's so cool! Do it again! What am I thinking about now?"Karen suppressed a smile. Closing her eyes, she pressed her fingers to her temples and swayed from side to side, mysteriously. "I see something; something in the mist; something about; could it be; no, it makes no sense. Is it; a Zen; Zendayan? Does that make any sense to you?" she asked.Holland dropped his curved instrument in shock. "Yes! Yes! We just met them! We negotiated with them for supplies! I was there to carry stuff and; and;” he paused, shrinking in on himself a bit. "They are so beautiful. The Zendayans? So beautiful; and super nice; and just; like wow; I was supposed to just stand there until they were done with the talking and bowing and stuff, but they were just like so beautiful.""Well, what happened?" Karen asked."Captain introduced me and I bowed to them. I was feeling dizzy because, you know, their beautifulness just keeps radiating off them. Then; then; the most beautiful of them; she smiled." Holland stared at nothing, immersed in the memory, then wobbled, tipped over, and lay on the floor staring at the ceiling.Karen bit her lips in amusement. "I see. What did you do then?""I; I; I started talking and then I just couldn't stop because I was just trying to say how beautiful she was and how it just made my mind explode when she smiled and then I might have peed on the floor.""Oh dear," Karen said, cringing in sympathy. "We don't always put forward the face we want to when we are in our feelings, do we?" she said, quietly."Yeah; I've been cleaning poop ever since;” Holland sighed. After a while he sat back up, picked up the curved instrument and began twirling it in his hands. "So, like; what about you? Have you always made horrible noises?" he asked.Karen huffed, but then she saw the oblivious earnestness in Holland's face and sighed. "No; I wasn't always; like this. In fact, until about 30 years ago, I made beautiful noises. I was a pianist," she said."But, wait, they said you were a female;” Holland said, confused."Pee, an, ist," Karen repeated slowly. "I played the piano. It's an instrument; I was a musician. I was a student at Juilliard. It's a school on Earth; it was like a dream to even get in. I was on a scholarship, living in this shoddy apartment with my roommate Dana;” she trailed off, thinking about those days when everything seemed possible."Wait! Are you remembering?" Holland asked, breaking her reverie. "Can I remember it, too? Nobody wants to remember with me ever since the Zendayans, so I'm just left with my own memories and it gets so boring.""What are you talking about?""Well, it's kinda like; um; let me just show you. Computer, scan The Karen and project her memories," Holland ordered. A humming noise filled the room and a beam of light shot out of the wall and passed over her several times. Suddenly, her cell transformed into her shoddy apartment in Newark, New Jersey."Oh my gosh; it's just like it," Karen gasped looking around."Humans dream of getting into this?" Holland said, scrutinizing a cockroach scurrying along the floor."No, silly. This was our apartment across the river. We lived here when we weren't at school. Dana and I moved off campus in our second year. We took jobs on the side through an agency. That was when;” she sat down and a phone in the apartment's bedroom began ringing.A long, pale arm reached out of a pile of blankets on the bed and grabbed the phone. "Hullo?" Dana mumbled. A voice on the phone sounded irate. "Yeah, I'm almost there," she said and hung up.

A Preplanned Detour - Groundwork for RedemptionWebsite: http://www.battle4freedom.com/Network: https://www.mojo50.comStreaming: https://www.rumble.com/Battle4Freedomhttps://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah%2043%3A11&version=CJBIsaiah 43:11I, yes I, am Adonai; besides me there is no deliverer.Genesis 46:1 Isra'el took everything he owned with him on his journey. He arrived at Be'er-Sheva and offered sacrifices to the G_d of his father Yitz'chak. 2 In a vision at night G_d called to Isra'el, "Ya`akov! Ya`akov!" He answered, "Here I am." 3 He said, "I am G_d, the G_d of your father. Don't be afraid to go down to Egypt. It is there that I will make you into a great nation. 4 Not only will I go down with you to Egypt; but I will also bring you back here again, after Yosef has closed your eyes."Genesis 46:5 So Ya`akov left Be'er-Sheva; the sons of Isra'el brought Ya`akov their father, their little ones and their wives in the wagons Pharaoh had sent to carry them. 6 They took their cattle and their possessions which they had acquired in the land of Kena`an and arrived in Egypt, Ya`akov and all his descendants with him — 7 his sons, grandsons, daughters, granddaughters and all his descendants he brought with him into Egypt.Genesis 46:8 These are the names of Isra'el's children who came into Egypt, Ya`akov and his sons: Re'uven Ya`akov's firstborn; 9 and the sons of Re'uven — Hanokh, Pallu, Hetzron and Karmi. 10 The sons of Shim`on: Y'mu'el, Yamin, Ohad, Yakhin, Tzochar and Sha'ul the son of a Kena`ani woman. 11 The sons of Levi: Gershon, K'hat and M'rari.Genesis 46:12 The sons of Y'hudah: `Er, Onan, Shelah, Peretz and Zerach; but `Er and Onan died in the land of Kena`an. The sons of Peretz were Hetzron and Hamul. 13 The sons of Yissakhar: Tola, Puvah, Yov and Shimron. 14 The sons of Z'vulun: Sered, Elon and Yachle'el. 15 These were the children of Le'ah whom she bore to Ya`akov in Paddan-Aram, with his daughter Dinah. In sum, his sons and daughters numbered thirty-three. Genesis 46:16 The sons of Gad: Tzifyon, Haggi, Shuni, Etzbon, `Eri, Arodi and Ar'eli. 17 The children of Asher: Yimnah, Yishvah, Yishvi, B'ri`ah, and their sister Serach. The sons of B'ri`ah were Hever and Malki'el. 18 These were the children of Zilpah, whom Lavan gave to Le'ah his daughter; she bore them to Ya`akov — sixteen people. Genesis 46:19 The sons of Rachel Ya`akov's wife: Yosef and Binyamin. 20 To Yosef in the land of Egypt were born M'nasheh and Efrayim, whom Osnat the daughter of Poti-Fera priest of On bore to him. 21 The sons of Binyamin: Bela, Bekher, Ashbel, Gera, Na`aman, Echi, Rosh, Mupim, Hupim and Ard. 22 These were the children of Rachel who were born to Ya`akov — in sum, fourteen people.Genesis 46:23 The sons of Dan: Hushim. 24 The sons of Naftali: Yachtze'el, Guni, Yetzer and Shillem. 25 These were the sons of Bilhah, whom Lavan gave to Rachel his daughter; she bore them to Ya`akov — in sum, seven people.Genesis 46:26 All the people belonging to Ya`akov coming into Egypt, his direct descendants (not counting Ya`akov's sons' wives), totaled sixty-six. 27 The sons of Yosef, born to him in Egypt, were two in number. Thus all the people in Ya`akov's family who entered Egypt numbered seventy.Genesis 46:28 Ya`akov sent Y'hudah ahead of him to Yosef, so that the latter might guide him on the road to Goshen; thus they arrived in the land of Goshen. 29 Yosef prepared his chariot and went up to Goshen to meet Isra'el his father. He presented himself to him, embraced him and wept on his neck for a long time. 30 Then Isra'el said to Yosef, "Now I can die, because I have seen your face and seen that you are still alive."Genesis 46:31 Yosef said to his brothers and his father's family, "I'm going up to tell Pharaoh. I'll say to him, `My brothers and my father's family, who were in the land of Kena`an, have come to me. 32 The men are shepherds and keepers of livestock; they have brought their flocks, their herds and all their possessions.' 33 Now when Pharaoh summons you and asks, `What is your occupation?' 34 tell him, `Your servants have been keepers of livestock from our youth until now, both we and our ancestors.' This will ensure that you will live in the land of Goshen — for any shepherd is abhorrent to the Egyptians."Credit to:https://unsplash.com/photos/pathway-between-trees-74TufExdP3Yhttps://unsplash.com/photos/black-and-white-arrow-sign-Vckq-heaypghttps://unsplash.com/photos/gray-wall-paint-taO2fC7sxDU

Aprender no meio das gerações é uma graça de Deus que nos permite crescer em sabedoria e maturidade. A Bíblia nos ensina a valorizar o conhecimento daqueles que vieram antes de nós e a honrar a experiência dos mais velhos. Quando há humildade para aprender, tanto os mais velhos quanto os mais novos se edificam mutuamente, fortalecendo a comunhão e a unidade. Esse aprendizado intergeracional nos ajuda a crescer espiritualmente, a aplicar princípios bíblicos na vida diária e a viver de forma que glorifique a Deus.Essa troca de conhecimento reflete o plano de Deus para Sua igreja: um povo unido, aprendendo uns com os outros e vivendo em amor. #conscienciacrista #CC2025 #EUSOU #geracoes #aprendizado #crescimento #fortalecimento

The Church teaches that baptism is a once-in-a-lifetime sacrament—but what are the consequences of being re-baptized? We break down the theological and spiritual implications, and also explore topics like Peter's crucifixion, the authority of the Church Fathers, and what makes a sin truly mortal. Join The CA Live Club Newsletter: Click Here Questions Covered: 04:25 – How is Onan responsible for a sin that wasn’t given until Deuteronomy? 11:53 – How could have Mary said no if God had the plan since the beginning of time? 16:23 – Which Gospel passages on John are indicative of him filling in the gaps on Luke? 20:50 – Where does the Church get the belief that Peter was crucified upside down? 23:16 – How do you get Protestants to stop dismissing the Church Fathers? 28:45 – How do we know that Ignatius of Antioch and Polycarp were disciples of John the Apostle? 32:50 – Why are Ed and Lorraine Warren problematic since they were Catholic? 39:44 – What are the consequences of being re-baptized? 43:40 – If Jews get a new temple they would begin animal sacrifices, but Christ was the final sacrifice. Is this why God has allowed enemies to control the temple mount? 48:05 – What exactly constitutes full consent of the will in regard to mortal sin?

Judah and Tamar38 It happened at that time that Judah went down from his brothers and turned aside to a certain Adullamite, whose name was Hirah.2 There Judah saw the daughter of a certain Canaanite whose name was Shua. He took her and went in to her, 3 and she conceived and bore a son, and he called his name Er. 4 She conceived again and bore a son, and she called his name Onan. 5 Yet again she bore a son, and she called his name Shelah. Judah was in Chezib when she bore him.6 And Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, and her name was Tamar.7 But Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord, and the Lord put him to death. 8 Then Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother's wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.” 9 But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his. So whenever he went in to his brother's wife he would waste the semen on the ground, so as not to give offspring to his brother.10 And what he did was wicked in the sight of the Lord, and he put him to death also. 11 Then Judah said to Tamar his daughter-in-law, “Remain a widow in your father's house, till Shelah my son grows up”—for he feared that he would die, like his brothers. So Tamar went and remained in her father's house.12 In the course of time the wife of Judah, Shua's daughter, died. When Judah was comforted, he went up to Timnah to his sheepshearers, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite. 13 And when Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep,” 14 she took off her widow's garments and covered herself with a veil, wrapping herself up, and sat at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah. For she saw that Shelah was grown up, and she had not been given to him in marriage. 15 When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. 16 He turned to her at the roadside and said, “Come, let me come in to you,” for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. She said, “What will you give me, that you may come in to me?” 17 He answered, “I will send you a young goat from the flock.” And she said, “If you give me a pledge, until you send it—” 18 He said, “What pledge shall I give you?” She replied, “Your signet and your cord and your staff that is in your hand.” So he gave them to her and went in to her, and she conceived by him. 19 Then she arose and went away, and taking off her veil she put on the garments of her widowhood.20 When Judah sent the young goat by his friend the Adullamite to take back the pledge from the woman's hand, he did not find her. 21 And he asked the men of the place, “Where is the cult prostitute who was at Enaim at the roadside?” And they said, “No cult prostitute has been here.” 22 So he returned to Judah and said, “I have not found her. Also, the men of the place said, ‘No cult prostitute has been here.'” 23 And Judah replied, “Let her keep the things as her own, or we shall be laughed at. You see, I sent this young goat, and you did not find her.”24 About three months later Judah was told, “Tamar your daughter-in-law has been immoral. Moreover, she is pregnant by immorality.” And Judah said, “Bring her out, and let her be burned.” 25 As she was being brought out, she sent word to her father-in-law, “By the man to whom these belong, I am pregnant.” And she said, “Please identify whose these are, the signet and the cord and the staff.” 26 Then Judah identified them and said, “She is more righteous than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not know her again.27 When the time of her labor came, there were twins in her womb.28 And when she was in labor, one put out a hand, and the midwife took and tied a scarlet thread on his hand, saying, “This one came out first.”29 But as he drew back his hand, behold, his brother came out. And she said, “What a breach you have made for yourself!” Therefore his name was called Perez...

Spirit of Praise - May the Fourth be with you!Website: http://www.battle4freedom.com/Network: https://www.mojo50.comStreaming: https://www.rumble.com/Battle4FreedomPsalm 7:18I thank Adonai for his righteousness and sing praise to the name of Adonai `Elyon.https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%2029%3A35%2CGenesis%2038%3A29%2CDaniel%203%3A25&version=CJBThree verses on Fourths!Genesis 38:1 It was at this time that Y'hudah went off from his brothers and settled near a man named Hirah who was an `Adulami. 2 There Y'hudah saw one of the daughters of a certain Kena`ani whose name was Shua, and he took her and slept with her. 3 She conceived and had a son, whom he named `Er. 4 She conceived again and had a son, and she called him Onan. 5 Then she conceived yet again and had a son whom she called Shelah; he was in K'ziv when she gave birth to him.Genesis 38:6 Y'hudah took a wife for `Er his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. 7 But `Er, Y'hudah's firstborn, was evil from Adonai's perspective, so Adonai killed him. 8 Y'hudah said to Onan, "Go and sleep with your brother's wife — perform the duty of a husband's brother to her, and preserve your brother's line of descent." 9 However, Onan knew that the child would not count as his; so whenever he had intercourse with his brother's wife, he spilled the semen on the ground, so as not to give his brother offspring. 10 What he did was evil from Adonai's perspective, so he killed him too.Genesis 38:11 Then Y'hudah said to Tamar his daughter-in-law, "Stay a widow in your father's house until my son Shelah grows up"; for he thought, "I don't want him to die too, like his brothers." So Tamar went and lived at home with her father. 12 In due time, Shua's daughter, the wife of Y'hudah, died. After Y'hudah had been comforted, he went up to be with his sheep-shearers in Timnah, he and his friend Hirah the `Adulami. 13 Tamar was told, "Your father-in-law has gone up to Timnah to shear his sheep." 14 So she took off her widow's clothes, completely covered her face with her veil, and sat at the entrance to `Einayim, which is on the way to Timnah. For she saw that Shelah had grown up, but she still was not being given to him as his wife.Genesis 38:15 When Y'hudah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, because she had covered her face. 16 So he went over to her where she was sitting and said, not realizing that she was his daughter-in-law, "Come, let me sleep with you." She answered, "What will you pay to sleep with me?" 17 He said, "I will send you a kid from the flock of goats." She said, "Will you also give me something as a guarantee until you send it" 18 He answered, "What should I give you as a guarantee?" She said, "Your seal, with its cord, and the staff you're carrying in your hand." So he gave them to her, then went and slept with her; and she conceived by him. 19 She got up and went away, took off her veil and put on her widow's clothes.Genesis 38:20 Y'hudah sent the kid with his friend the `Adulami to receive the guarantee items back from the woman, but he couldn't find her. 21 He asked the people near where she had been, "Where is the prostitute who was on the road at `Einayim?" But they answered, "There hasn't been any prostitute here." 22 So he returned to Y'hudah and said, "I couldn't find her; also the people there said, `There hasn't been any prostitute here.'" 23 Y'hudah said, "All right, let her keep the things, so that we won't be publicly shamed. I sent the kid, but you didn't find her."Genesis 38:24 About three months later Y'hudah was told, "Tamar your daughter-in-law has been acting like a whore; moreover, she is pregnant as a result of her prostitution." Y'hudah said, "Bring her out, and let her be burned alive!" 25 When she was brought out, she sent this message to her father-in-law: "I am pregnant by the man to whom these things belong. Determine, I beg you, whose these are — the signet, the cords and the staff." 26 Then Y'hudah acknowledged owning them. He said, "She is more righteous than I, because I didn't let her become the wife of my son Shelah." And he never slept with her again.Genesis 38:27 When she went into labor, it became evident that she was going to have twins. 28 As she was in labor, one of them put out his hand; and the midwife took his hand and tied a scarlet thread on it, saying, "This one came out first." 29 But then he withdrew his hand, and his brother came out; so she said, "How did you manage to break out first?" Therefore he was named Peretz [breaking out]. 30 Then out came his brother, with the scarlet thread on his hand, and he was given the name Zerach [scarlet].Did Onan die because he did not want to have children?Levirate-marriage is a strange custom for us today.  It required one brother to marry the wife of a brother who died and who did not have a son. Our question is about Onan who did not want this responsibility. The custom of levirate-marriage was practiced throughout the Old Testament (Genesis 38:6-10; Ruth 4:10) and even into Christ's time (Matthew 22:24). It is clear this was a divine principle during the time of the book of Genesis, and it was finally written down as part of the Mosaic Law,https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy%2025%3A5-10&version=CJBDeuteronomy 25:5-105 "If brothers live together, and one of them dies childless, his widow is not to marry someone unrelated to him; her husband's brother is to go to her and perform the duty of a brother-in-law by marrying her. 6 The first child she bears will succeed to the name of his dead brother, so that his name will not be eliminated from Isra'el. 7 If the man does not wish to marry his brother's widow, then his brother's widow is to go up to the gate, to the leaders, and say, `My brother-in-law refuses to raise up for his brother a name in Isra'el; he will not perform the duty of a husband's brother for me.' 8 The leaders of his town are to summon him and speak to him. If, on appearing before them, he continues to say, `I don't want to marry her,' 9 then his brother's widow is to approach him in the presence of the leaders, pull his sandal off his foot, spit in his face and say, `This is what is done to the man who refuses to build up his brother's family.' 10 From that time on, his family is to be known in Isra'el as `the family of the man who had his sandal pulled off.'Credits:https://unsplash.com/@xangriffin - Person Praisinghttps://unsplash.com/@danist07 - Clouds

AMENPODCAST.COMMatthew 22:34-40 Bible StudyFrom the Amen Podcast with Alex and LokalaniScripture ReadingBut when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together and one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law?" And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets."— Matthew 22:34-40 (ESV)ContextIn this passage, Jesus faces the third and final question from religious leaders trying to trap him during Holy Week. The Pharisees had already tried to entrap him with a question about taxes. The Sadducees had attempted to trick him with a theological puzzle about resurrection. Now, a lawyer from the Pharisees tests Jesus about which of the 613 commandments in the law is greatest.Christ's answer is brilliant and silences his critics. He doesn't simply pick one law over the others—he summarizes the entire law by combining two passages:* Deuteronomy 6:5 — "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might."* Leviticus 19:18 — "You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord."Key Points1. The Command Is Also an InvitationWhen Jesus answers with "love God and love your neighbor," he's not just giving a command; he's offering an invitation to freedom. God's commandments were never meant to be oppressive rules but a pathway to life, joy, and communion with Him and others.2. Love God, Love PeopleThis "greatest commandment" is comprehensive and binary:* Vertical relationship: Love God with your whole being* Horizontal relationship: Love your neighbors as yourselfEvery other commandment flows from these two principles. If we love God truly, we will keep His commandments. If we love our neighbors, we will not harm them but seek their good.3. The Example of Onan: Breaking the Greatest CommandmentIn Genesis 38:8-10, we see Onan refusing to fulfill his duty to his deceased brother's wife, Tamar. By selfishly seeking his own gratification without responsibility, Onan:* Failed to love God by disrespecting His plan for the family lineage* Failed to love his neighbor (Tamar) by denying her security and protectionThis story illustrates how we become selfish when we break the greatest commandment. We choose gratification over responsibility, personal desires over the needs of others.4. Christ Perfectly Fulfilled the CommandmentJesus is the only one who perfectly loved God and others:* He loved God so much that he was obedient to death on a cross* He loved his neighbors (us) so much that he laid down his life for us while we were still sinnersJesus didn't just teach the greatest commandment—he demonstrated it through his sacrifice.Application Questions* How can you love God more fully this week? Consider practical ways to express your love through obedience, worship, and time with Him.* Who is your "neighbor" that needs your love right now? Think about family members, coworkers, church members, and actual neighbors who might need encouragement, forgiveness, or practical help.* In what areas of your life are you being selfish like Onan? Where are you choosing gratification over responsibility?* How has your perspective on God's commands changed? Do you see them as restrictive rules or as invitations to freedom and love?* What gifts has God given you that you can use to love others in your church community?Closing ThoughtsWhen we shift our mindset from "I have to love God and others" to "I get to love God and others," everything changes. This isn't just a duty—it's a privilege and the pathway to true joy.The more we walk in obedience, the more natural loving God and loving others becomes. As we grow in Christ, we find that loving others flows more easily from us because God's own love fills our hearts.Remember: To love God is to obey Him. To love others is to serve them. And in doing both, we experience the life Jesus intended for us."How can you love God and love others?" Share your answers in the comments below!PrayerFather, thank you for your leadership and for teaching us in ways we never expected. Help us to remember that loving you and loving others is not merely a command but an invitation to experience life as you designed it. Guide us to love you through our obedience and to love others through service and sacrifice. In Jesus' name, amen.amen podcast website This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amenpodcast.substack.com

AMENPODCAST.COMMatthew 22:34-40 Bible StudyFrom the Amen Podcast with Alex and LokalaniScripture ReadingBut when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together and one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law?" And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets."— Matthew 22:34-40 (ESV)ContextIn this passage, Jesus faces the third and final question from religious leaders trying to trap him during Holy Week. The Pharisees had already tried to entrap him with a question about taxes. The Sadducees had attempted to trick him with a theological puzzle about resurrection. Now, a lawyer from the Pharisees tests Jesus about which of the 613 commandments in the law is greatest.Christ's answer is brilliant and silences his critics. He doesn't simply pick one law over the others—he summarizes the entire law by combining two passages:* Deuteronomy 6:5 — "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might."* Leviticus 19:18 — "You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord."Key Points1. The Command Is Also an InvitationWhen Jesus answers with "love God and love your neighbor," he's not just giving a command; he's offering an invitation to freedom. God's commandments were never meant to be oppressive rules but a pathway to life, joy, and communion with Him and others.2. Love God, Love PeopleThis "greatest commandment" is comprehensive and binary:* Vertical relationship: Love God with your whole being* Horizontal relationship: Love your neighbors as yourselfEvery other commandment flows from these two principles. If we love God truly, we will keep His commandments. If we love our neighbors, we will not harm them but seek their good.3. The Example of Onan: Breaking the Greatest CommandmentIn Genesis 38:8-10, we see Onan refusing to fulfill his duty to his deceased brother's wife, Tamar. By selfishly seeking his own gratification without responsibility, Onan:* Failed to love God by disrespecting His plan for the family lineage* Failed to love his neighbor (Tamar) by denying her security and protectionThis story illustrates how we become selfish when we break the greatest commandment. We choose gratification over responsibility, personal desires over the needs of others.4. Christ Perfectly Fulfilled the CommandmentJesus is the only one who perfectly loved God and others:* He loved God so much that he was obedient to death on a cross* He loved his neighbors (us) so much that he laid down his life for us while we were still sinnersJesus didn't just teach the greatest commandment—he demonstrated it through his sacrifice.Application Questions* How can you love God more fully this week? Consider practical ways to express your love through obedience, worship, and time with Him.* Who is your "neighbor" that needs your love right now? Think about family members, coworkers, church members, and actual neighbors who might need encouragement, forgiveness, or practical help.* In what areas of your life are you being selfish like Onan? Where are you choosing gratification over responsibility?* How has your perspective on God's commands changed? Do you see them as restrictive rules or as invitations to freedom and love?* What gifts has God given you that you can use to love others in your church community?Closing ThoughtsWhen we shift our mindset from "I have to love God and others" to "I get to love God and others," everything changes. This isn't just a duty—it's a privilege and the pathway to true joy.The more we walk in obedience, the more natural loving God and loving others becomes. As we grow in Christ, we find that loving others flows more easily from us because God's own love fills our hearts.Remember: To love God is to obey Him. To love others is to serve them. And in doing both, we experience the life Jesus intended for us."How can you love God and love others?" Share your answers in the comments below!PrayerFather, thank you for your leadership and for teaching us in ways we never expected. Help us to remember that loving you and loving others is not merely a command but an invitation to experience life as you designed it. Guide us to love you through our obedience and to love others through service and sacrifice. In Jesus' name, amen.amen podcast website This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amenpodcast.substack.com

Azealia Banks skulle kommit men ställde in. Igen. Hanna lär oss allt om Onan. Era bästa och värsta vikariehistorier. Samir om tennisspelaren Monica Seles. Simon Campanello om Elon Musks hot om att stänga ner sitt internetsystem Starlink i Ukraina. Lyssna på alla avsnitt i Sveriges Radio Play. Programledare: Hanna Hellquist & Samir Yosufi

In Episode 52, Brennan is joined by Broadway's Kim Onah, as they talk about her journey from getting an English degree from Harvard, to making a Broadway principal debut with a bunch of strangers! Choosing to pivot from Ivy-League to musical theatre is no easy task, but Kim's career has been one of persistence and believing in herself!Support the showHost/ Production/ Editing: Brennan StefanikMusic: Dylan KaufmanGraphic Design: Jordan Vongsithi@batobroadway on Instagram, Threads, and TikTokPatreon.com/batobroadway

In this Bible Story, Tamar is married into the family of Judah but is widowed twice. She then devises a plan to have a child with Judah. This story is inspired by Genesis 38. Go to BibleinaYear.com and learn the Bible in a Year.Today's Bible verse is Genesis 38:25 from the King James Version.Episode 26: The family of Judah is a complicated one. While Judah was faithful and blessed with a wife and children, their sons were not so faithful. When Er was old enough, he was given Tamar as a wife. However, he was wicked in God’s sight and died before having a child. The same happened to Er’s Brother Onan when he was meant to redeem his brother. With one child left, Judah was unwilling to lose a child a third time. But in his unwillingness, he would be tricked into becoming the father of Tamar’s children.Hear the Bible come to life as Pastor Jack Graham leads you through the official BibleinaYear.com podcast. This Biblical Audio Experience will help you master wisdom from the world’s greatest book. In each episode, you will learn to apply Biblical principles to everyday life. Now understanding the Bible is easier than ever before; enjoy a cinematic audio experience full of inspirational storytelling, orchestral music, and profound commentary from world-renowned Pastor Jack Graham.Also, you can download the Pray.com app for more Christian content, including, Daily Prayers, Inspirational Testimonies, and Bedtime Bible Stories.Visit JackGraham.org for more resources on how to tap into God's power for successful Christian living.Pray.com is the digital destination of faith. With over 5,000 daily prayers, meditations, bedtime stories, and cinematic stories inspired by the Bible, the Pray.com app has everything you need to keep your focus on the Lord. Make Prayer a priority and download the #1 App for Prayer and Sleep today in the Apple app store or Google Play store.Executive Producers: Steve Gatena & Max BardProducer: Ben GammonHosted by: Pastor Jack GrahamMusic by: Andrew Morgan SmithBible Story narration by: Todd HaberkornSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hebrews 12:22 But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to innumerable angels in festal gathering, This and the next three verses serve as a contrast to Mt. Sinai, where Moses received the first and old covenant. Since we have been thinking about running a race, we might think of it this way. Before Jesus came, the finish line to which all were running was on Mt. Sinai and the course they were running was the Law. The old covenant came from Mt. Sinai and the Law. Now, since Jesus came, the course is Jesus, Himself, and the finish line is heaven. The new covenant comes from heaven.  The earthly Mt. Zion was the mountain upon which Abraham offered the ram in place of Isaac. It was where Jacob had the dream of stairs to heaven. The city of David was established there. David purchased the threshing floor of Onan to atone for his sin on Mt. Zion. Solomon's temple was built on Mt. Zion. However, in this verse, we learn that Mt. Zion has a symbolic meaning. It signifies the place where God's presence is manifested. To the Hebrews, Zion is the place of salvation. Therefore, it is synonymous with the city of the living God (remember, Jesus was the promised King from David's line), the millennial Jerusalem, and the heavenly Jerusalem, home to myriads of angels. Notice how Psalm 50:1-2 speaks of the Lord's presence and His word going forth to all the earth. “The Mighty One, God, the Lord, speaks and summons the earth from the rising of the sun to where it sets. From Zion, perfect in beauty, God shines forth.”  The author was focusing on the finish line for us who are running the race. He was giving his readers encouragement to run with endurance. The reward is great to those who run well and endure to the end. In essence, we are looking at this great salvation that Jesus has given to all who believe. In this verse, we are encouraged to live to love with Jesus until we die or Jesus returns by considering our destination, our finish line. We are running to heaven, from which our salvation comes through Jesus Christ. When we draw near to the throne of grace, we are abiding in Christ. We are drawing near to God's throne in heaven for grace to run the race to the end. It's where God speaks and shines forth in all His beauty. He is the mighty One.  In Jonathan Edward's treatise on the loveliness of heaven, Heaven, a World of Love, he wrote, “Heaven is the palace or presence-chamber of the high and holy One, whose name is love, and who is both the cause and source of all holy love. And this renders heaven a world of love; for God is the fountain of love, as the sun is the fountain of light. And therefore the glorious presence of God in heaven, fills heaven with love, as the sun, placed in the midst of the visible heavens in a clear day, fills the world with light.” I think you get the point. We are in a full run toward the presence of God, who is love. Now, that love is a failing love. It isn't perfected, but we are running to a city, a country where we are from, that is all love. Therefore, let loving with Jesus be our course. Stay on course by abiding in Jesus, drawing near to His throne in heaven for grace to endure. We are running to heaven by the grace given us from heaven.

Thoughts on the readings for January 23rd (Genesis 38; Psalms 41, 42, 43; Matthew 25 Genesis 38 speaks of a very unsavoury set of circumstances surrounding Judah and his daughter-in-law, Tamar. The chapter commenced with a visit from Judah to a prostitute, who bore him a son, Er. The prostitute bare Judah two further sons Onan and Shelah. As the two eldest reached marriageable age he took a wife, Tamar. Er was given in marriage to Tamar. Because of Er's wickedness he was slain by Yahweh. So Tamar was a childless widow. She was given her brother-in-law, Onan who under the rules of the day had the responsibility to raise up an heir for his dead brother. Onan was also wicked and acted evilly. He too was slain by God. Tamar waited a long time for Shelah to become an adult; and then she saw that Judah her father-in-law would not allow her to marry him. She acted to raise up an heir. She posed as a whore and lured her father-in-law into a liaison, by veiling her appearance (it seems she knew Judah's weakness). Judah promised to pay for her services; he didn't have money so he left his staff and signet ring for a pledge. His friend tried to make the payment for Judah, but found the woman gone. Judah later hears of Tamar's pregnancy and says she needed to be burnt for her infidelity. She sends Judah the staff and signet ring of the man who is the father. Judah relented and acknowledged his own hypocrisy. Tamar bore twins, who wrestled for the right to be the firstborn – Perez and Zerah. During the birth Zerah put his fist out and a scarlet thread was tied to his wrist. The fist was drawn in and his brother Perez born first (the name was given because he had burst forth in breech against his brother). The scarlet thread follows a theme throughout the Bible at the time of the taking of Jericho; the ancestor of Jesus in Ruth 4; the scarlet thread to which the hyssop was tied when the pierced Jesus was on the cross (Zerah means “pierced”). When Israel (Jacob) blessed his sons in Genesis 49 he said, “Judah, your brothers shall praise you” (verse 8 ESV). Certainly Judah couldn't be praised for the events in Genesis 38; but he will outshine at the end in the dealings with Joseph in Egypt. The lawgiver and king would come from Judah. And from that tribe the Lord Jesus Christ would be born; conquer sin and death; and in the kingdom rule over the whole earth. The great lesson we learn from the life of Judah is that his selfishness in his youth ultimately transformed into a mature caring and loving brother. Let us never abandon hope in that some of us learn maturity much later in life. cont reading... https://christadelphianvideo.org/thoughts-on-the-readings-for-january-23rd-genesis-38-psalms-41-42-43-matthew-25/ Penned by Warwick Rosser and his team, produced by Christadelphian video.org

Thoughts on the readings for January 23rd (Genesis 38; Psalms 41, 42, 43; Matthew 25 Genesis 38 speaks of a very unsavoury set of circumstances surrounding Judah and his daughter-in-law, Tamar. The chapter commenced with a visit from Judah to a prostitute, who bore him a son, Er. The prostitute bare Judah two further sons Onan and Shelah. As the two eldest reached marriageable age he took a wife, Tamar. Er was given in marriage to Tamar. Because of Er's wickedness he was slain by Yahweh. So Tamar was a childless widow. She was given her brother-in-law, Onan who under the rules of the day had the responsibility to raise up an heir for his dead brother. Onan was also wicked and acted evilly. He too was slain by God. Tamar waited a long time for Shelah to become an adult; and then she saw that Judah her father-in-law would not allow her to marry him. She acted to raise up an heir. She posed as a whore and lured her father-in-law into a liaison, by veiling her appearance (it seems she knew Judah's weakness). Judah promised to pay for her services; he didn't have money so he left his staff and signet ring for a pledge. His friend tried to make the payment for Judah, but found the woman gone. Judah later hears of Tamar's pregnancy and says she needed to be burnt for her infidelity. She sends Judah the staff and signet ring of the man who is the father. Judah relented and acknowledged his own hypocrisy. Tamar bore twins, who wrestled for the right to be the firstborn – Perez and Zerah. During the birth Zerah put his fist out and a scarlet thread was tied to his wrist. The fist was drawn in and his brother Perez born first (the name was given because he had burst forth in breech against his brother). The scarlet thread follows a theme throughout the Bible at the time of the taking of Jericho; the ancestor of Jesus in Ruth 4; the scarlet thread to which the hyssop was tied when the pierced Jesus was on the cross (Zerah means “pierced”). When Israel (Jacob) blessed his sons in Genesis 49 he said, “Judah, your brothers shall praise you” (verse 8 ESV). Certainly Judah couldn't be praised for the events in Genesis 38; but he will outshine at the end in the dealings with Joseph in Egypt. The lawgiver and king would come from Judah. And from that tribe the Lord Jesus Christ would be born; conquer sin and death; and in the kingdom rule over the whole earth. The great lesson we learn from the life of Judah is that his selfishness in his youth ultimately transformed into a mature caring and loving brother. Let us never abandon hope in that some of us learn maturity much later in life. Psalm 41 completed Book 1 (the Genesis themed Psalms) and Psalm 42 commenced Book 2 (the Exodus themed Psalms – finishing in Psalm 72). The content of both Psalms 41-42 is similar and provides a smooth connection between both Books. In Psalm 41 we read of a man in distress calling on the Almighty for grace, strength and deliverance. The Psalmist asks God to have mercy upon the one who considered “the poor”. Our Lord became “poor” out of his love for our low and needful condition (2 Corinthians 8 verses 6-15). Our Lord Jesus' love and care show him to be his Father's Son: Psalm 68 verses 1-4. And the Omnipotent Creator saw His Son struggle in the worst of conditions to bring about our redemption to his Sovereign God. So whenever the Son called for help the Father speedily responded. The Psalmist in verse 4, as a type of Messiah, acknowledged his weaknesses. Though our Lord never sinned he contended with his sin-prone nature – its trials and weaknesses – each day of his life. The Psalmist's enemies were prowling around him barking continuously like bloodthirsty dogs. And there also the proud and hateful whisperers plotting his downfall. They saw David's illness as a rightful consequence of his wrongdoings. Verse 9 speaks of David's loyal and trustworthy counsellor – Ahithophel – and these words are quoted in the New Testament as applying to Judas. From verses 10 to the Psalm's end the writer speaks of his confidence in Yahweh to deliver David (firstly); and to a greater degree, the Lord Jesus Christ himself. His experience of his God's faithfulness filled him with praise of his Sovereign. In verse 12 the Anointed is assured that he will dwell in the presence of the Almighty; at the time of the coming Kingdom forever. In the 42nd Psalm we read of the startled young deer being pursued until it became breathless. The writer/s – the sons of Korah, who stood with Moses when their father led a rebellion against the divinely appointed leaders of Moses and Aaron – compare that delicate creature's panting thirst to their own seeking for the “Living God” (a prominent theme in several of their Psalms). As the keepers of the gates of the Sanctuary they were responsible for the exclusion of the worldly and profane from the Tabernacle; and in later generations the Temple. Those exiled from the fellowship to be found in the house of God felt this longing very deeply. Verse 5 is a refrain which finds its echo in the concluding verse 11 of the Psalm. The words are Messianic and reflect the despondency of our Lord Jesus Christ during 3 challenges during his ministry – the first at his baptism in the river Jordan; the second at his Transfiguration; and, lastly in the Garden of Gethsemane. These are referred to in verses 6-7. Verse 7 may be a citation from the prayer of Jonah, chapter 2, inside the great fish's belly as expressive of the feeling of drowning and being overwhelmed that Jonah had in common with the Messiah of whom he was a wonderful type. Alternatively, Jonah's prayer could be a quotation from the Psalm. Both were prophets of the Lord from despised Galilee. The source of hope and the comforting affirmation are found in both verses 5 and 11. Psalm 43 is a call upon the Almighty to send forth His Light and Truth to summon His saints to Zion – the scene of their salvation in our Lord Jesus Christ's future Kingdom soon to be set up on this earth with Jerusalem as its capital (Isaiah 2 verses 1-5). It again speaks of the spirit of Messiah in the Psalms. The Messiah in reality was fixed upon Yahweh's light and truth as the guiding principles of his life (and these were the spirit by which the writer had tried to live). The connection to the 42nd Psalm is the repetition of the twice written refrain. The Lord Jesus Christ's countenance was changed and was a foretaste for him of the glory of the Kingdom, which sustained his endurance (Matthew 17 and Luke 9). Matthew 25 commenced with the parable of the ten virgins. Five were WISE and five were foolish. It illustrates the wisdom of being always prepared. Procrastination invariably catches up with those who are prone to it. That all ten virgins slept tells us that in comparison with the faithful throughout all time there will be at the time of the end comparatively few believers who have readied themselves for our Lord Jesus Christ's coming. Then follows the parable of the talents, and the keynote of the parable is faithfulness. We each have been given abilities and responsibilities that differ. What is important is that we fully utilise what we have been given; according to the principle to whom much is given, much is expected. Interestingly it was the one talent individual who totally misjudged our Lord Jesus Christ believing that he/she was not good enough for the Kingdom. What an entirely wrong perception for we are all only saved by grace and are in no way worthy ( of course there will be vast numbers of multi-talented individuals who have failed also). We must understand the gracious gift that is the good pleasure of our Heavenly Father to give His children the Kingdom. We must endeavour to judge matters according to God's Word. The final judgment will be on the basis of our understanding of our Omnipotent Creator and his inestimable Son and so living. It is love based rather than academic head knowledge. Read verses 34-46 aloud and consider if our actions measure up. Compare also Jeremiah's comments on what Josiah demonstrated in the knowing of his God in chapter 22 verses 15-16 of that prophecy. Showing love to “the least” is evidence of our love for our Lord. To know God is to copy His Son our Lord Jesus Christ. Penned by Warwick Rosser and his team, produced by Christadelphian video.org

Listeners of this podcast know that when Christmastime rolls around, the SASF podcast likes to focus on the less appreciated Bible stories that lead up to the birth of the Christ:. You may remember past Advent episodes on the Levite's concubine, Onan, and Tamar. This year, the guys discuss the place of the Jewish people in the Christmas story. Why? Well, nobody needs a reason to talk about the Gospel, but in addition (if you're on X), you've definitely noticed a certain vocal minority who loves nothing more than to denigrate the Jews. Don't worry, we don't spend much time on those dummies -- but we do spend time discussing the meaning of Christmas, its place in history, the rights and wrongs of Zionism, Old Testament heresies like Talmudic Judaism, and, of course, the Jewish story that is the whole basis for the birth of our Jewish Savior... and why we're Christians now. You're also going to find out that you're the second lobster on the heavenly sheet in Peter's vision, so get used to not being the main character. Merry Christmas!

Unwrapping Christmas – Week 3 – December 15, 2024 Unwrapping the Message In the course of time, Judah arranged for his firstborn son, Er, to marry a young woman named Tamar. 7But Er was a wicked man in the LORD’s sight, so the LORD took his life. 8Then Judah said to Er's brother Onan, “Go […]

Passage: 1 At that time Judah left his brothers and settled near an Adullamite named Hirah. 2 There Judah saw the daughter of a Canaanite named Shua; he took her as a wife and slept with her. 3 She conceived and gave birth to a son, and he named him Er. 4 She conceived again, gave birth to a son, and named him Onan. 5 She gave birth to another son and named him Shelah. It was at Chezib that she gave birth to him. 6 Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. 7 Now Er, Judah's firstborn, was evil in the Lord's sight, and the Lord put him to death. 8 Then Judah said to Onan, “Sleep with your brother's wife. Perform your duty as her brother-in-law and produce offspring for your brother.” 9 But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his, so whenever he slept with his brother's wife, he released his semen on the ground so that he would not produce offspring for his brother. 10 What he did was evil in the Lord's sight, so he put him to death also. 11 Then Judah said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, “Remain a widow in your father's house until my son Shelah grows up.” For he thought, “He might die too, like his brothers.” So Tamar went to live in her father's house. 12 After a long time Judah's wife, the daughter of Shua, died. When Judah had finished mourning, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite went up to Timnah to his sheepshearers. 13 Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep.” 14 So she took off her widow's clothes, veiled her face, covered herself, and sat at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the way to Timnah. For she saw that, though Shelah had grown up, she had not been given to him as a wife. 15 When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. 16 He went over to her and said, “Come, let me sleep with you,” for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. She said, “What will you give me for sleeping with me? ” 17 “I will send you a young goat from my flock,” he replied. But she said, “Only if you leave something with me until you send it.” 18 “What should I give you? ” he asked. She answered, “Your signet ring, your cord, and the staff in your hand.” So he gave them to her and slept with her, and she became pregnant by him. 19 She got up and left, then removed her veil and put her widow's clothes back on. 20 When Judah sent the young goat by his friend the Adullamite in order to get back the items he had left with the woman, he could not find her. 21 He asked the men of the place, “Where is the cult prostitute who was beside the road at Enaim? ” “There has been no cult prostitute here,” they answered. 22 So the Adullamite returned to Judah, saying, “I couldn't find her, and besides, the men of the place said, ‘There has been no cult prostitute here.' ” 23 Judah replied, “Let her keep the items for herself; otherwise we will become a laughingstock. After all, I did send this young goat, but you couldn't find her.” 24 About three months later Judah was told, “Your daughter-in-law, Tamar, has been acting like a prostitute, and now she is pregnant.” “Bring her out,” Judah said, “and let her be burned to death! ” 25 As she was being brought out, she sent her father-in-law this message: “I am pregnant by the man to whom these items belong.” And she added, “Examine them. Whose signet ring, cord, and staff are these? ” 26 Judah recognized them and said, “She is more in the right than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not know her intimately again. 27 When the time came for her to give birth, there were twins in her womb. 28 As she was giving birth, one of them put out his hand, and the midwife took it and tied a scarlet thread around it, announcing, “This one came out first.” 29 But then he pulled his hand back, out came his brother, and she said, “What a breakout you have made for yourself! ” So he was named Perez. 30 Then his brother, who had the scarlet thread tied to his hand, came out, and was named Zerah. Song: Comfort, Oh Comfort (https://open.spotify.com/track/3BhhQ3CuVwaCHZfX71i8Bg?si=e61fde993f104459)by Caroline Cobb Smith Lyrics: Comfort oh comfort To every place that is scorched and dry Comfort speak comfort To every darkness in need of the light In the wilderness the green of Eden In the wasteland a garden blooms Up from the desert springs a river For He is making everything new Comfort oh comfort There is a highway through this dry land They will call Him a Man of Sorrows And like a seed buried deep to rise again Comfort oh comfort For the ransomed will return with a song And with joy we'll come into Zion And all our sorrow all our sighing will be gone Prayer: Almighty God, give us grace, that we may cast away the works of darkness, and put upon us the armor of light, now in the time of this mortal life, in which your Son Jesus Christ came to visit us in great humility; that in the last day when he shall come again in his glorious majesty to judge both the living and the dead, we may rise to the life immortal, through him who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, now and forever. Amen. -The Book of Common Prayer (1552)

Genesis 38: A Summary and Reflection Genesis 38 stands out in the narrative of the patriarchs as it temporarily shifts focus from Joseph's story to the account of Judah, one of Jacob's sons. This chapter reveals themes of sin, justice, repentance, and God's sovereignty in working through flawed individuals. Summary of Genesis 38: 1.Judah and His Family (Verses 1–5): •Judah separates from his brothers and marries a Canaanite woman, Shua's daughter. •He has three sons: Er, Onan, and Shelah. 2.Judah and Tamar (Verses 6–11): •Judah arranges for his firstborn, Er, to marry a woman named Tamar. •Er is wicked in God's sight and is struck dead. •Following the custom of levirate marriage, Judah instructs his second son, Onan, to marry Tamar to provide offspring for Er. •Onan practices coitus interruptus to avoid producing an heir, displeasing God, who also strikes him dead. •Judah becomes reluctant to give Tamar to his youngest son, Shelah, fearing he too might die. He sends Tamar back to her father's house to wait. 3.Tamar's Deception (Verses 12–23): •After Judah's wife dies, he goes to Timnah for sheep-shearing, a time of celebration. •Tamar, realizing Judah has not given her to Shelah as promised, disguises herself as a prostitute and waits for Judah by the road. •Judah, unaware of her identity, propositions her and offers a young goat as payment. Tamar demands his seal, cord, and staff as a pledge until the goat is delivered. •After their encounter, Tamar conceives. 4.Judah Confronted (Verses 24–30): •Three months later, Judah hears that Tamar is pregnant and accuses her of immorality, ordering her to be burned. •Tamar sends Judah the seal, cord, and staff, revealing that he is the father. •Judah acknowledges his wrongdoing, saying, “She is more righteous than I, since I wouldn't give her to my son Shelah.” •Tamar gives birth to twins, Perez and Zerah. During the delivery, Zerah's hand emerges first, but Perez is born first, creating a significant reversal. Key Themes: 1.God's Justice and Sovereignty: •The deaths of Er and Onan demonstrate God's intolerance of wickedness and selfishness. •Despite human sin and failure, God works through Tamar's actions to bring about the lineage of Perez, an ancestor of King David and ultimately Jesus Christ (Matthew 1:3). 2.Repentance and Acknowledgment of Sin: •Judah's confession, “She is more righteous than I,” marks a turning point in his character. It reflects personal growth and humility. 3.The Role of Women in God's Plan: •Tamar's bold actions ensure the continuation of Judah's lineage, emphasizing the importance of women in fulfilling God's purposes, even in unconventional ways. 4.Cultural and Legal Context: •The chapter highlights the levirate marriage custom, which sought to protect widows and ensure family inheritance. Reflection: Genesis 38 may appear as a surprising interruption in the Joseph narrative, but it plays a vital role in the larger story of redemption. It underscores the imperfections of Judah and his family while highlighting God's ability to work through brokenness to accomplish His divine plan. This chapter reminds readers that God's purposes are not hindered by human failure. It also calls for humility and repentance, as seen in Judah's transformation. Most importantly, it sets the stage for the messianic lineage, showing that God's grace extends even to those whose actions seem scandalous by human standards.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/sendme-radio--732966/support.

1003 俄南 Onan by 靈修廣播站

Big Idea: Why family reunions are always weird. In the Beginning: Joseph Genesis 45:16-46:34 I. Every family has issues. 45:16-28 When the news reached Pharaoh's palace, “Joseph's brothers have come,” Pharaoh and his servants were pleased. Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Tell your brothers, ‘Do this: Load your animals and go on back to the land of Canaan. Get your father and your families, and come back to me. I will give you the best of the land of Egypt, and you can eat from the richness of the land.' You are also commanded to tell them, ‘Do this: Take wagons from the land of Egypt for your dependents and your wives and bring your father here. Do not be concerned about your belongings, for the best of all the land of Egypt is yours.' ” The sons of Israel did this. Joseph gave them wagons as Pharaoh had commanded, and he gave them provisions for the journey. He gave each of the brothers changes of clothes, but he gave Benjamin three hundred pieces of silver and five changes of clothes. He sent his father the following: ten donkeys carrying the best products of Egypt and ten female donkeys carrying grain, food, and provisions for his father on the journey. So Joseph sent his brothers on their way, and as they were leaving, he said to them, “Don't argue on the way.” So they went up from Egypt and came to their father Jacob in the land of Canaan. They said, “Joseph is still alive, and he is ruler over all the land of Egypt!” Jacob was stunned, for he did not believe them. But when they told Jacob all that Joseph had said to them, and when he saw the wagons that Joseph had sent to transport him, the spirit of their father Jacob revived. Then Israel said, “Enough! My son Joseph is still alive. I will go to see him before I die.” II. There's no distance too far for family. 46:1-7 Israel set out with all that he had and came to Beer-sheba, and he offered sacrifices to the God of his father Isaac. That night God spoke to Israel in a vision: “Jacob, Jacob!” he said. And Jacob replied, “Here I am.” God said, “I am God, the God of your father. Do not be afraid to go down to Egypt, for I will make you into a great nation there. I will go down with you to Egypt, and I will also bring you back. Joseph will close your eyes when you die.” Jacob left Beer-sheba. The sons of Israel took their father Jacob in the wagons Pharaoh had sent to carry him, along with their dependents and their wives. They also took their cattle and possessions they had acquired in the land of Canaan. Then Jacob and all his offspring with him came to Egypt. His sons and grandsons, his daughters and granddaughters, indeed all his offspring, he brought with him to Egypt. III. You can't pick your family name. 8-27 These are the names of the sons of Israel who came to Egypt—Jacob and his sons: Jacob's firstborn: Reuben. Reuben's sons: Hanoch, Pallu, Hezron, and Carmi. Simeon's sons: Jemuel, Jamin, Ohad, Jachin, Zohar, and Shaul, the son of a Canaanite woman. Levi's sons: Gershon, Kohath, and Merari. Judah's sons: Er, Onan, Shelah, Perez, and Zerah; but Er and Onan died in the land of Canaan. The sons of Perez were Hezron and Hamul. Issachar's sons: Tola, Puvah, Jashub, and Shimron. Zebulun's sons: Sered, Elon, and Jahleel. These were Leah's sons born to Jacob in Paddan-aram, as well as his daughter Dinah. The total number of persons: thirty-three. Gad's sons: Ziphion, Haggi, Shuni, Ezbon, Eri, Arodi, and Areli. Asher's sons: Imnah, Ishvah, Ishvi, Beriah, and their sister Serah. Beriah's sons were Heber and Malchiel. These were the sons of Zilpah—whom Laban gave to his daughter Leah—that she bore to Jacob: sixteen persons. The sons of Jacob's wife Rachel: Joseph and Benjamin. Manasseh and Ephraim were born to Joseph in the land of Egypt. They were born to him by Asenath daughter of Potiphera, a priest at On. Benjamin's sons: Bela, Becher, Ashbel, Gera, Naaman, Ehi, Rosh, Muppim, Huppim, and Ard. These were Rachel's sons who were born to Jacob: fourteen persons. Dan's son: Hushim. Naphtali's sons: Jahzeel, Guni, Jezer, and Shillem. These were the sons of Bilhah, whom Laban gave to his daughter Rachel. She bore to Jacob: seven persons. The total number of persons belonging to Jacob—his direct descendants, not including the wives of Jacob's sons—who came to Egypt: sixty-six. And Joseph's sons who were born to him in Egypt: two persons. All those of Jacob's household who came to Egypt: seventy persons. IV. Only one family that lasts forever. 28-34 Now Jacob had sent Judah ahead of him to Joseph to prepare for his arrival at Goshen. When they came to the land of Goshen, Joseph hitched the horses to his chariot and went up to Goshen to meet his father Israel. Joseph presented himself to him, threw his arms around him, and wept for a long time. Then Israel said to Joseph, “I'm ready to die now because I have seen your face and you are still alive!” Joseph said to his brothers and to his father's family, “I will go up and inform Pharaoh, telling him, ‘My brothers and my father's family, who were in the land of Canaan, have come to me. The men are shepherds; they also raise livestock. They have brought their flocks and herds and all that they have.' When Pharaoh addresses you and asks, ‘What is your occupation?' you are to say, ‘Your servants, both we and our ancestors, have raised livestock from our youth until now.' Then you will be allowed to settle in the land of Goshen, since all shepherds are detestable to Egyptians.” Next Steps:  Believe: I need to be adopted into God's family today.  Become: I will become part of a group this week.  Be Sent: I will invite someone into my life this week. Group Discussion Questions:  When was your last family reunion?  What did the shirts look like? Is your family reunion worth traveling to?  Explain your answer. How do you handle family conflicts during family reunions?  How do you stay positive when dealing with difficult family members How can you pass on family values at a reunion? Explain. Is it easy to involve multiple generations at a reunion?? Pray for Jesus to show you someone who he wants in his family this week. 

Send us a Text Message.Can moral integrity withstand the test of complex family dynamics and cultural double standards? Journey with us on this verse by verse Bible study episode of Reasoning Through the Bible as we uncover the intricate layers of Genesis 38, a chapter brimming with moral quandaries and divine judgments. Witness Judah's controversial departure from his brothers and his entanglement with a Canaanite woman. Through the grim fates of his sons Ur and Onan, we explore the sovereignty of God in punishing evil and the profound importance of living a godly life. We'll consider the critical lessons on divine patience and mercy that emerge from these tragic events. We then dive into the tumultuous story of Tamar and Judah, where themes of deception and accountability come to light. Finally, discover the significant lineage of Tamar's twins, Perez and Zerah, and their pivotal role in the lineage leading to the Messiah. This episode promises to be a thought-provoking exploration of one of the Bible's most challenging chapters.Support the Show.

Jason Howell and Jeff Jarvis dive into OpenAI's "Strawberry" project for autonomous web research, discuss Google's selective indexing practices, explore Disney's partnership with AudioShake to deconstruct its music catalog using AI, and more!

Big Idea: No faith is too weak; no family is too wicked for God. Matthew 1:1-3a This is a record of the ancestors of Jesus the Messiah, a descendant of David and of Abraham: Abraham was the father of Isaac. Isaac was the father of Jacob. Jacob was the father of Judah and his brothers. Judah was the father of Perez and Zerah (whose mother was Tamar). In the Beginning: Judah Genesis 38:1-30 I. Things go wrong from the start.   1-5 At that time Judah left his brothers and settled near an Adullamite named Hirah. There Judah saw the daughter of a Canaanite named Shua; he took her as a wife and slept with her. She conceived and gave birth to a son, and he named him Er. She conceived again, gave birth to a son, and named him Onan. She gave birth to another son and named him Shelah. It was at Chezib that she gave birth to him. II. Wickedness runs in the family.   6-11 Judah got a wife for Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. Now Er, Judah's firstborn, was evil in the Lord's sight, and the Lord put him to death. Then Judah said to Onan, “Sleep with your brother's wife. Perform your duty as her brother-in-law and produce offspring for your brother.” But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his, so whenever he slept with his brother's wife, he released his semen on the ground so that he would not produce offspring for his brother. What he did was evil in the Lord's sight, so he put him to death also. Then Judah said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, “Remain a widow in your father's house until my son Shelah grows up.” For he thought, “He might die too, like his brothers.” So Tamar went to live in her father's house. III. Don't frolic with foreign faith.   12-18 After a long time Judah's wife, the daughter of Shua, died. When Judah had finished mourning, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite went up to Timnah to his sheepshearers. Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep.” So she took off her widow's clothes, veiled her face, covered herself, and sat at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the way to Timnah. For she saw that, though Shelah had grown up, she had not been given to him as a wife. When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. He went over to her and said, “Come, let me sleep with you,” for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. She said, “What will you give me for sleeping with me?” “I will send you a young goat from my flock,” he replied. But she said, “Only if you leave something with me until you send it.” “What should I give you?” he asked. She answered, “Your signet ring, your cord, and the staff in your hand.” So he gave them to her and slept with her, and she became pregnant by him. IV. Why would God choose this family?   19-30 She got up and left, then removed her veil and put her widow's clothes back on. When Judah sent the young goat by his friend the Adullamite in order to get back the items he had left with the woman, he could not find her. He asked the men of the place, “Where is the cult prostitute who was beside the road at Enaim?” “There has been no cult prostitute here,” they answered. So the Adullamite returned to Judah, saying, “I couldn't find her, and besides, the men of the place said, ‘There has been no cult prostitute here.' ” Judah replied, “Let her keep the items for herself; otherwise we will become a laughingstock. After all, I did send this young goat, but you couldn't find her.” About three months later Judah was told, “Your daughter-in-law, Tamar, has been acting like a prostitute, and now she is pregnant.” “Bring her out,” Judah said, “and let her be burned to death!” As she was being brought out, she sent her father-in-law this message: “I am pregnant by the man to whom these items belong.” And she added, “Examine them. Whose signet ring, cord, and staff are these?” Judah recognized them and said, “She is more in the right than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not know her intimately again. When the time came for her to give birth, there were twins in her womb. As she was giving birth, one of them put out his hand, and the midwife took it and tied a scarlet thread around it, announcing, “This one came out first.” But then he pulled his hand back, out came his brother, and she said, “What a breakout you have made for yourself!” So he was named Perez. Then his brother, who had the scarlet thread tied to his hand, came out, and was named Zerah. Next Steps:  Believe: I need Jesus to wash away my wickedness. Become: I need the Holy Spirit to make my faith stronger. Be Sent: I will not let my past prevent me from pushing back darkness. Group Discussion Questions:  Is it okay to learn about other faiths without damaging your own faith? Has one bad decision led to a series of terrible consequences in your life? Have you ever been ashamed of your weak faith? Have you ever tried to help God by taking matters into your own hands? When did you realize that your family didn't deserve God's grace? Do you believe God couldn't use you because of mistakes in your past? Pray for the courage to push back darkness despite your mistakes and failures.

Study Passage: Genesis 45:25-46:3025 So they went up out of Egypt and came to the land of Canaan to their father Jacob. 26 And they told him, “Joseph is still alive, and he is ruler over all the land of Egypt.” And his heart became numb, for he did not believe them. 27 But when they told him all the words of Joseph, which he had said to them, and when he saw the wagons that Joseph had sent to carry him, the spirit of their father Jacob revived. 28 And Israel said, “It is enough; Joseph my son is still alive. I will go and see him before I die.” 1 So Israel took his journey with all that he had and came to Beersheba, and offered sacrifices to the God of his father Isaac. 2 And God spoke to Israel in visions of the night and said, “Jacob, Jacob.” And he said, “Here I am.” 3 Then he said, “I am God, the God of your father. Do not be afraid to go down to Egypt, for there I will make you into a great nation. 4 I myself will go down with you to Egypt, and I will also bring you up again, and Joseph's hand shall close your eyes.” 5 Then Jacob set out from Beersheba. The sons of Israel carried Jacob their father, their little ones, and their wives, in the wagons that Pharaoh had sent to carry him. 6 They also took their livestock and their goods, which they had gained in the land of Canaan, and came into Egypt, Jacob and all his offspring with him, 7 his sons, and his sons' sons with him, his daughters, and his sons' daughters. All his offspring he brought with him into Egypt. 8 Now these are the names of the descendants of Israel, who came into Egypt, Jacob and his sons. Reuben, Jacob's firstborn, 9 and the sons of Reuben: Hanoch, Pallu, Hezron, and Carmi. 10 The sons of Simeon: Jemuel, Jamin, Ohad, Jachin, Zohar, and Shaul, the son of a Canaanite woman. 11 The sons of Levi: Gershon, Kohath, and Merari. 12 The sons of Judah: Er, Onan, Shelah, Perez, and Zerah (but Er and Onan died in the land of Canaan); and the sons of Perez were Hezron and Hamul. 13 The sons of Issachar: Tola, Puvah, Yob, and Shimron. 14 The sons of Zebulun: Sered, Elon, and Jahleel. 15 These are the sons of Leah, whom she bore to Jacob in Paddan-aram, together with his daughter Dinah; altogether his sons and his daughters numbered thirty-three. 16 The sons of Gad: Ziphion, Haggi, Shuni, Ezbon, Eri, Arodi, and Areli. 17 The sons of Asher: Imnah, Ishvah, Ishvi, Beriah, with Serah their sister. And the sons of Beriah: Heber and Malchiel. 18 These are the sons of Zilpah, whom Laban gave to Leah his daughter; and these she bore to Jacob—sixteen persons. 19 The sons of Rachel, Jacob's wife: Joseph and Benjamin. 20 And to Joseph in the land of Egypt were born Manasseh and Ephraim, whom Asenath, the daughter of Potiphera the priest of On, bore to him. 21 And the sons of Benjamin: Bela, Becher, Ashbel, Gera, Naaman, Ehi, Rosh, Muppim, Huppim, and Ard. 22 These are the sons of Rachel, who were born to Jacob—fourteen persons in all. 23 The son of Dan: Hushim. 24 The sons of Naphtali: Jahzeel, Guni, Jezer, and Shillem. 25 These are the sons of Bilhah, whom Laban gave to Rachel his daughter, and these she bore to Jacob—seven persons in all. 26 All the persons belonging to Jacob who came into Egypt, who were his own descendants, not including Jacob's sons' wives, were sixty-six persons in all. 27 And the sons of Joseph, who were born to him in Egypt, were two. All the persons of the house of Jacob who came into Egypt were seventy. 28 He had sent Judah ahead of him to Joseph to show the way before him in Goshen, and they came into the land of Goshen. 29 Then Joseph prepared his chariot and went up to meet Israel his father in Goshen. He presented himself to him and fell on his neck and wept on his neck a good while. 30 Israel said to Joseph, “Now let me die, since I have seen your face and know that you are still alive.”

In this episode of Bible Backdrop, we start the narrative of Joseph and his sale to the Ishmaelites. Then we talk about a side story with Judah and about how that fits into the Joseph narrative. Why was Joseph sold so cheaply? What was Reuben's motive to rescue Joseph? What does the Bible include the story about Judah in the middle of the Joseph narrative? Listen to this episode to find out more.If you are enjoying Bible Backdrop, please leave a 5 star rating and review. You can also contact the show by using the e-mail in the episode.

Daily Dose of Hope April 18, 2024  Day 5 of Week 3   Scripture reading for today – Genesis 38-40; Psalm 12; Mark 15   Hello, everyone!  This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.  It's also the final reading for week 3.  We will take Friday and Saturday off for you to catch-up, get ahead, or simply rest and spend time in prayer.   Oh my, there is a lot to cover today.  Let's start with Genesis 38.  Judah (who is Jacob's oldest son) arranges for his oldest son, Er, to marry a woman named Tamar.  But Er was evil in the eyes of God, so God took his life.  Judah then arranged for Tamar to marry his second son, Onan.  In levirate marriage, which they practiced at that time, if a man died before he produced a male heir, then the next oldest brother would sleep with his sister in law to try to produce an heir.  The baby would then be considered a child of the dead brother. This may sound weird to us but it was one of several systems that God put in place to ensure that the most vulnerable segments of society would be cared for.   But Onan also did evil in God's eyes, because he prevented Tamar from getting pregnant by spilling his semen on the ground.  (I bet you didn't realize the Bible is this explicit.)  So, God took Onan's life too.  At this point, Judah's third son, Shelah, was too young to marry.  But what we know is that Judah has decided he didn't want to risk his third son with Tamar.  If Shelah dies, then Judah will be without heirs, and any inheritance he may gain from Jacob will be lost.  Judah misleads Tamar into waiting until Shelah is grown up. I'm not sure that we can understand the significance of this. This was a grave sin, denying Tamar the ability to have a husband, a male heir, or any kind of meaningful life.  He doesn't release her from the marriage-he tells her to go live as a widow which means she could not remarry-but he doesn't offer her the option of his third son. Tamaris in a no-win situation here.  She is doomed to live a life of poverty and/or prostitution.  Keep in mind, women were very vulnerable at that time if they didn't have a male to provide for them.   After some years go by, Tamar takes matters into her own hands.  Judah has basically abandoned her. Shelah, the third son, is definitely marrying age and Judah has never sent for Tamar.  She knows he isn't planning to, nor is he planning to release her from living as a widow.  She knows that her fate isn't good unless she does something drastic.  She takes off her widow's clothing and dresses like a prostitute. She hangs out where her father-in-law will see her and he propositions her.  So, this gives us more insight into Judah's character.  Maybe he frequented prostitutes, Tamar must have somehow known that he would be willing to solicit her.   This is a small thing but when Judah originally solicited Tamar as a prostitute, she was not a shrine prostitute.  Shrine prostitutes were part of the worship of Canaanite fertility goddesses.  It seems that Judah simply acted out of regular old lust and probably a bit of impulsiveness.  Later, he asks his friend to go look for the shrine prostitute, possibly because it seemed more acceptable.  Of course, both were really bad in God's eyes.   Tamar gets pregnant by Judah.  When Judah finds out she is pregnant, he considers her guilty of prostitution and is ready to have her killed.  Of course, he has no idea that he is the father of the baby.  Tamar then presents a cord, seal, and walking stick, saying the father of her baby is the owner of these items.  Just so we know, his cord, seal, and walking stick would be the equivalent to a driver's license and credit card.  When Judah finds that he was the guy who got his daughter in law pregnant, he declares her righteous.  Even though she was deceptive, she was the one who managed to continue to family line.   Okay, so this whole scenario seems kind of strange, right?  Evil sons, so evil that God kills them. A conniving father-in-law who doesn't care for the well-being of his daughter-in-law or his family line.  A desperate daughter-in-law who pretends to be a prostitute so her father-in-law can get her pregnant.  This story really demonstrates how God uses broken, messed up people to achieve his purposes.  Judah was far from godly.  Tamar, though God called her righteous and she was certainly courageous, was still a bit deceptive and scrappy.   Yet, God chose these two people to carry on the line of Jacob.  It was the union of these two flawed individuals that produced an heir in the direct line of Jesus.  If you look at Matthew 1, Tamar is the first of four women specifically mentioned by name in the genealogy of Jesus Christ.  God could have chosen anyone, but he chose them.   There is a great quote by Vance Havner, a preacher and evangelist, "God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.”   God uses imperfect people like you and me to achieve his purposes.  We may not have a great past.  We might not even have a super present, but he wants to use us, flaws and all, to expand his Kingdom, to carry out his mission in the world.   Please take some time to also read through Genesis 39-40.  These chapters are about Joseph after he became a slave in Pharoah's palace.  Because he was so upstanding, leaning on God the whole time, he flourished.  But then the Pharoah's wife tried falsely accused him of sexual assault.  This ended up landing him in prison.  But he flourished there too, because he walked so closely with the Lord.  God's has his hand on Joseph.  More on this tomorrow…   I can't finish today without touching on the Mark passage.  In Mark 15, we read about the crucifixion and death of Jesus Christ. It was a horrific death.  He was beaten and mocked by the soldiers, betrayed by his own people, and nailed to a cross to die.  I won't go into the gory details of crucifixion, as you have probably heard them before, but it was a terribly painful and humiliating way to die.   Most of us have read this a lot but there is one piece that we often gloss over.  It's about Simon of Cyrene. Simon was just passing by when he is stopped and forced him to carry Jesus' cross.  Cyrene was on the tip of Africa so this man was far from home!  And here he was, going about his business, and he is enlisted, or more likely seized, to carry the cross of the Savior of the world.  I'm guessing that Jesus' physical body was incredibly weak and bloody by this point.  Simon walked by him, carrying the cross that would serve to execute Jesus but also save all humanity from their sin.    We don't know what happened to Simon after the crucifixion.  He isn't mentioned again in Scripture. But my guess is that his life was never the same again.  Afterall, he had an encounter with Jesus.   Let's chat again tomorrow.   Blessings, Pastor Vicki                               Daily Dose of Hope April 18, 2024  Day 5 of Week 3      

This episode focuses on one of the most fascinating places in the world for a heart and humidity enthusiast. As humid as the Gulf Of Mexico is (along with its surrounding states) it's power doesn't hold a candlestick to the Persian Gulf. This episode discusses some of the water temperatures that occur in the Persian Gulf. We discuss the impact this had on the historical floods that took place in parts of Iran, Onan and the United Arab Emirates. The main focus is the United Arab Emirates because it's easier to find weather information about the UAE and they also have a fascinating cloud seeding program. We discuss cloud seeding and the different approaches UAE uses vs. Israel. It should be noted that the highest widespread totals of rain may have occurred in Iran with several cities of 10+ inches. The source for that is AccuWeather. Nonetheless in this episode the main focus is the United Arab Emirates for the reasons mentioned above. Was Cloud Seeding A Factor? Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podca... (

This episode has been updated from the previous episode. It now includes international units, more details on rain fall accumulation, sound effects, an extract from the United Arab Emirates Meteorological Department Cloud Seeding program and an amazing 1 minute extract from last year's Fort Lauderdale flood episode which was made 2023 on April 16th amazingly. This episode was made April 17th and 18th 2024 regarding the floods that happened primarily on April 16th 2024. Imagery is of Iran.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/weather-with-enthusiasm--4911017/support.

The gals talked about availability for volunteer drivers and for those seeking rides. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wcmp-news/message

Patrick dives deep into ethics and morals, unraveling the biblical story of Onan from Genesis 38 and its relation to birth control across religions. Patrick explores the early church fathers' perspectives, Protestant beliefs, and suggests reading "The Bible and Birth Control" by Charles Provan to further understand the topic's history and application.   Email – What is the sin of Onan? Michelle - Humans suffer and have pain due to sin. Why do animals have pain, if they didn't sin? Patrick comments on today's Solar Eclipse and where you can see it from Andrew - What's the difference between scrupulosity and prudence when it comes to going to confession. How often should I go? What if I'm in mortal sin? Maribelle - Does Patrick know about a Mexican tradition of wrapping trees in red ribbon during an Eclipse? Rhonda - Why don't God's chosen people believe that Jesus is the Savior?

Study Passage: Genesis 38:1-30It happened at that time that Judah went down from his brothers and turned aside to a certain Adullamite, whose name was Hirah. 2 There Judah saw the daughter of a certain Canaanite whose name was Shua. He took her and went in to her, 3 and she conceived and bore a son, and he called his name Er. 4 She conceived again and bore a son, and she called his name Onan. 5 Yet again she bore a son, and she called his name Shelah. Judah was in Chezib when she bore him. 6 And Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. 7 But Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD, and the LORD put him to death. 8 Then Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother's wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.” 9 But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his. So whenever he went in to his brother's wife he would waste the semen on the ground, so as not to give offspring to his brother. 10 And what he did was wicked in the sight of the LORD, and he put him to death also. 11 Then Judah said to Tamar his daughter-in-law, “Remain a widow in your father's house, till Shelah my son grows up”—for he feared that he would die, like his brothers. So Tamar went and remained in her father's house. 12 In the course of time the wife of Judah, Shua's daughter, died. When Judah was comforted, he went up to Timnah to his sheepshearers, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite. 13 And when Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep,” 14 she took off her widow's garments and covered herself with a veil, wrapping herself up, and sat at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah. For she saw that Shelah was grown up, and she had not been given to him in marriage. 15 When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. 16 He turned to her at the roadside and said, “Come, let me come in to you,” for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. She said, “What will you give me, that you may come in to me?” 17 He answered, “I will send you a young goat from the flock.” And she said, “If you give me a pledge, until you send it—” 18 He said, “What pledge shall I give you?” She replied, “Your signet and your cord and your staff that is in your hand.” So he gave them to her and went in to her, and she conceived by him. 19 Then she arose and went away, and taking off her veil she put on the garments of her widowhood. 20 When Judah sent the young goat by his friend the Adullamite to take back the pledge from the woman's hand, he did not find her. 21 And he asked the men of the place, “Where is the cult prostitute who was at Enaim at the roadside?” And they said, “No cult prostitute has been here.” 22 So he returned to Judah and said, “I have not found her. Also, the men of the place said, ‘No cult prostitute has been here.'” 23 And Judah replied, “Let her keep the things as her own, or we shall be laughed at. You see, I sent this young goat, and you did not find her.” 24 About three months later Judah was told, “Tamar your daughter-in-law has been immoral. Moreover, she is pregnant by immorality.” And Judah said, “Bring her out, and let her be burned.” 25 As she was being brought out, she sent word to her father-in-law, “By the man to whom these belong, I am pregnant.” And she said, “Please identify whose these are, the signet and the cord and the staff.” 26 Then Judah identified them and said, “She is more righteous than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not know her again. 27 When the time of her labor came, there were twins in her womb. 28 And when she was in labor, one put out a hand, and the midwife took and tied a scarlet thread on his hand, saying, “This one came out first.” 29 But as he drew back his hand, behold, his brother came out. And she said, “What a breach you have made for yourself!” Therefore his name was called Perez. 30 Afterward his brother came out with the scarlet thread on his hand, and his name was called Zerah.

Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother's wife and marry her, and raise up an heir to your brother.” [1 hour]

Two witty stories of Piety & ProfanityListen to the Podcast at Steamy StoriesHeaven or HellBy Many Feathers .What’s it like when we die?Let’s face it. No one really knows what its like to die, I certainly didn’t. The last thing I remember was someone saying, “He’s gone.” In the next instant I was somewhere else. I can’t even explain it really, because the somewhere else was without substance, without definition really. Until images came to mind, places I had once known, been to, or had wondered about. Then suddenly… there I was!It felt warm, comforting. I was standing on a hill, there was a breeze against my face, though again, there hadn’t been until I’d considered it, then there it was! It was quiet, peaceful, just as I imagined it might be, would be. I looked down at myself, I was old.“Damn! Aren’t we supposed to change back to the best way we ever looked, or should look?” I wondered. And suddenly, I did. At least I wasn’t just a thought floating around without substance. Then I grimaced, worried that I would be, but that didn’t happen.“Ok, that’s better. Much, much better!" I said feeling a hell of a lot better admittedly. But it was still strange.I mean, we all have our own ideas of what Heaven is supposed to be like I suppose. But this wasn’t like anything I’d ever even heard of or imagined before either. No pearly gates, though they’d have looked really out of place from where I was standing. No white haired guy in a white flowing robe with a great big book with a bright green bookmarker holding the place open where my name would have been listed. None of that. Hell, there wasn’t even a bird singing or a butterfly flying. And then…there was."Ok, maybe I’m starting to get the hang of this after all,” I thought to myself.But I was still surprised no one had come to greet me, no one had come to tell me where I was supposed to go, or what I was supposed to do. I even thought about my parents who had died years ago. Nothing. Unlike the sudden appearance of birds, butterflies and bee’s (which I quickly decided I didn’t want or need and made them go away) there was nothing else. At least no mom, no dad. No uncles, no aunts, no friends (only one or two of which I could actually remember as having died before I did). Bottom line was, no people.“Well, this sucks!” I said aloud wondering if anyone could actually hear me.I decided to go for a walk, and then wondered if I could fly. Sure enough, I was floating in the air and moving forward at an incredible speed. Problem was, the ground below me whizzed by faster than I could imagine it until I was standing in the middle of darkness.“Lets try that one again,” I thought. I was back on the hill again, oh yeah; the breeze thing, and the birds and the butterflies were kinda cool too. Except, I really am going to walk this time, at least until such a time as I get the flying/moving thing down a whole lot better.So I walked. And I walked, and I walked. The only cool thing here was, when I got tired of walking and seeing the same scenery (cause I knew it usually would take several hours if I was to walk out of this valley and actually get anywhere else), all I had to do was think of another place, and I was there. One moment in the mountains, in the next walking through Canyon lands in Moab. At least I thought it was Moab, sure looked like it anyway, though once again there was no people. And that was the other interesting part. I tried thinking about the valley where I’d lived, my home, once again my friends and family. I think…though don’t take my word on this, but I think I was in the valley where my home should be, once was, or would be. I mean who knows, when your dead, maybe when we’re there, we’re just borrowing the here, which is real, when that reality isn’t. Anyway, no houses, no cars, no planes, no people. Nada…nothing.I kept thinking that maybe I was on hold or something. Or that I’d failed to see the sign that had said “Out to lunch”. I certainly didn’t want to stand around in the dark, and I was sort of missing the birds at this point, as I’d forgotten to bring them along with me. So I went back. Back to the mountain, sat down and waited.Who knows how long I sat there waiting. A year? A day? A century or two? Who the hell knows. I certainly didn’t have a watch, couldn’t even produce one. And who was around to tell or give me the correct time, or even what the hell day it was anyway?So I just sat there and waited. And wondered. And began to think about my life and some of the people I knew, or once knew anyway. And then the last thing in the world I had ever expected to happen happened. I looked up the hill and saw a young woman walking towards me. She looked familiar, and even at this distance I could envision her face, see her smile, and she even waved.“Thank God!” I said aloud, half expecting to hear a booming “You’re Welcome!” but that didn’t happen either. I really hate it when you can’t remember a name. I mean I knew I knew her, I just couldn’t remember from where, or when. Then it came to me. And was that because I suddenly decided I did know her name? That I’d actually thought about her in passing when I began thinking about my life and what I’d accomplished or failed to accomplish for one reason or another? Or because I just decided what her name was. Once again, I didn’t know for sure, not really. But as Darlene approached getting ever closer, which is when I suddenly decided to do the half-fly, half hop thing, I was standing next to her.“Darlene? Is that really you?” She smiled and nodded her head yes.“Please tell me you can speak,” I asked worriedly. “Or are we supposed to be talking with our minds and not our mouths or something like that?” I asked.She laughed then, which was like music to my ears (and briefly, I swear I could hear the Sound of Music playing in the background).“I’ve been looking for you,” She said simply.“You have?”“Yes, ever since I got here.”“How long has that been?”“Oh, I don’t know, forever maybe? Who knows?”At the moment, I couldn’t very well argue with that. “Well, it’s sure as hell nice to finally see someone else, and actually talk to them!” Then I hunched my shoulders worriedly, wondering if the word “Hell” was appropriate, or inappropriate under the circumstances.“So, you seen anyone else?” I had to ask.“Nope, just you. But then again, like I said, you’re the only one I’ve been looking for anyway.”I still wondered why. Why was she here with me and not with her friends, her family. What was she doing here looking for me for? And why her anyway? I mean after all, Darlene had been the first girl I had ever kissed, first girl who two years later actually let me touch her boobs, and then the first girl I had ever gone down on in her parents bedroom when they were out for the evening. But what that had to do with us still escaped me. Or any of this for that matter.“So, now what?" I had to ask."I don’t know, you tell me,” she responded.Like that helped anything. I guess we could continue to sit here and wait. But I’d done that already. And it was Darlene that said she’d been wandering around for just about ever looking for me, so there had to be something about that that made some sort of sense, which for the moment at least, didn’t.And then I thought about something else.“Was there a reason why you’ve been looking for me?” I asked.“Yeah,” she said finally grinning. “Why don’t you lie down on the grass and I’ll show you.”Now we were getting somewhere. Unless she suddenly turned into some sort of Vampire or something at the last minute.“You’re not a Vampire are you?” I had to ask. Once again she laughed.“No, and I’m not here to suck your blood either. But I wouldn’t mind sucking something else.”“Ok, this HAD to be heaven!” I decided. “No way in, well…you know, no way in that place could this be that.”She had a lot bigger, a lot nicer tits than I remembered too. But of course that probably made sense. I mean back then…anyways, at least now she had them and they were pretty nice looking too. She undressed and got down on her knees and oh yeah, that felt nice, really nice. And once again I was reminded how good this felt, how pleasurable this was, and that if she kept this up I’d soon be climaxing. And then the fear, “What if? What if I can’t? What if she sucks and sucks me for ever and I can’t?” But then I was, and I did…and all was right with the world again. Well, this world anyway. And besides, I sorta always figured that if a person went to hell, they probably couldn’t have an orgasm, so that was at least a point on the Heaven side of the ledger I suppose. And the fact I’d just had one, and a damn good one in fact, tended to support that theory.“Now what do you want to do?” I asked a while later.“How about we fuck now?” she asked demurely. Once again I looked around. “Maybe you shouldn’t talk like that here,” I told her. “Mess around, or do it might be a little more appropriate, something like that.”“Ok, so lets mess around then,” she stated.So we did.The only thing I remember about Darlene that I didn’t like was that she was so clingy as they say. Seemed she was always touching me one-way or the other. A hand on my leg if we were simply sitting there, or if we walked anyplace, she had to hold my hand, or if we laid down in the grass, or on a hill, or sometimes when we just floated around off the ground (especially then) so I quit floating after that), she had to be holding onto something. I mean sometimes when she held onto things, or when even I did, I liked it. But not all the time. But if I said anything to her about it, hurt her feelings, then she’d sit there and cry until I told her I was sorry, to which there would come the hand into my lap again.Oh yeah, and you don’t sleep either. You don’t go to bed and wake up the next morning feeling either tired, sleepy or refreshed. The sun’s just sort of there, all the time, though you don’t see the sun, or anything else like it for that matter. It’s just sun-shinny with light all day long (all night long for that matter) but like I said. You don’t sleep. I sorta miss that.Then a while later. (I like to think in terms of days, but for all I know, a day is a year here, or a millennium, who cares?) Anyway, so like about maybe a week later we’re hanging out, (oh yeah and I gave up wearing clothes, I mean whets the point? We’re usually naked most of the time anyway, and it makes it a whole lot easier when we’re in the mood to mess around). So we’ve just finished doing it…again, when I look up the road. (Made that one myself out of dirt, seemed appropriate anyway, somewhere to look down, or walk down when we weren’t busy messing around). And low and behold, I see this other girl approaching us. And just like Darlene, I think I know her, and then I do know her. Brenda?Brenda’s the first girl I ever did it with. She smiles and waves, and I wave back and notice Darlene’s not smiling. But she remains by my side as we sort of do the float walk thing towards where Brenda’s standing.Next thing you know, it’s the same story. Brenda’s been looking for me for quite a while too now, and finally knows where to find me, so she has, and here she is, and here we are all now.And then we’re all messing around, having a hell…I mean having a lot of fun, and its all good, and they’re both beautiful and all that, even though Brenda and Darlene sort of fight over who’s going first and that sort of thing, which is kind of cool in a way as I really never did have another girl fight over me, except for maybe Theresa, and then low and behold, I see her approaching, smiling and waving at us too.Damn, now isn’t this interesting? I think to myself. Then I begin to picture all the girls I’ve ever known, ever been with throughout my entire life. And the next thing I know, there’s this entire flock of women walking down the road towards us, towards me rather as neither Darlene, Brenda, or especially Theresa are looking very anxious to meet any of them.And better still, every damn, ah every darn one of them is as naked as the day they were born, or died…whatever.And have you ever heard the term, “Too much of a good thing?” Well in a way I guess, this was the perfect example of that. Though admittedly when I saw my first wife, and my third I began to wonder. And though my second wife hadn’t shown up as yet, I was sort of grateful for that, as I’d really considered her to be quite a bitch, and so she either hadn’t died yet (and I couldn’t honestly remember if she had, or if she hadn’t…and who knows what time it is, or how long we’ve all been here anyway) the fact she hadn’t shown up was a good sign, sorta. Because she really had been the meanest most vindictive woman I’d ever known. And seeing her here, really would convince me this was Hell, and not just some sort of holding area that I was now sorta hoping this really was.But it was all still pretty much confusing. On the one hand, I could “do it” with any one of them any time I liked. And did so, but I had to admit, it took a lot out of me, and most of them afterwards got all pissy about it if I hadn’t chosen one of them. (Especially Theresa). And have you ever tried doing it with someone else hanging over your shoulder yelling “Me next? Me next?" I tell ya, it’s not exactly conducive to keeping it up even while your doing it, or even how attractive or how beautiful the woman are with that going on all the time.Eventually, I did learn that if I thought about moving very fast when I flew, entered that black void, I would find myself alone. The only problem with that was, the moment I came out, wherever it was I thought I would be, they’d find me. Then it was fucking, sucking until I was totally exhausted once again, not to mention all the God damn bickering (yeah you heard me) it’s starting to get on my nerves in case you didn’t know it.Point is, I’m still not exactly sure what’s going on, why I’m here, or what this really is.Mostly now I just sit alone here in the dark.I miss my birds.By Many Feathers for LiteroticaVictorian SistersThe secret correspondence of two naughty sisters, in the gilded age of London's well-bred society.By Sally hollister. Listen to the podcast at Steamy StoriesDear Tess,I have been led to believe, in a recent social visit to your home, that you allowed my Bernard to be beastly with you to such a degree as is shameful for ladies to put to pen & ink. As you know I have always regarded you as a sister and I am loathe to believe that this can be true. Pray tell me what occurred.Your dearest friend,CharlotteDear Charlotte,I am afraid to inform you that the rumours you have heard are true, but do be assured that the event was not of my instigation. It happened thus; I was bending over to pick something up when Bernard assaulted me from behind and was, as you say, beastly with me. He came upon me so sudden I feared for my sanity as I am not used to being assaulted in such a fashion in my own drawing room on a Wednesday afternoon. But, as you can infer, I was not to blame.Your devoted friend,TessPS: I am your sisterDear Tess,Sorry about the sister thing. Quite forgot. Anyway, I cannot believe that my Bernard would behave in such a brutal fashion. Are you sure he did not trip and thus fall upon you?Your dearest sister,CharlotteDear Charlotte,I truly cannot say if Bernard tripped, for as I informed you, I was bent down at the time and my gaze was upon the trinket I was retrieving.Your devoted sister,TessDear Tess,It is beyond belief that my sweet Bernard would take advantage of a girl in the way you imply. Are you sure you did not wiggle your bottom at him in a provocative fashion, thus causing a rush of blood to his head and his attack upon your nether parts.Your dearest sister,CharlotteDear Charlotte,I am outraged that you could think I could behave in such a fashion. I have only wiggled my bottom once in my life. It was during my honeymoon, in front of my husband, Victor, and it gave him a nosebleed. You must seek elsewhere to find a motive behind Bernard’s caddish behaviour.Your dearest sister,TessDear Tess,I have now spoken to Bernard about the matter and he confirms that he did indeed trip over a rug which caused him to fall upon you. What I still cannot ascertain is how he managed to achieve his end through your bustle.Your dearest sister,CharlotteDear Charlotte,Ah, I failed to inform you that I have taken up nude modelling recently and was in that mode when the event occurred. I have had to resort to this as our financial situation is perilous. Victor has been thrown out of the army since leading his regiment on an attack upon our allies, the French, during an exercise. He has always had difficulties with his sense of direction, the silly sausage. In any case I think it was an absolute over-reaction by the military big-wigs as there were only 43 of the Froggies killed and none of them above the rank of sergeant.As we have no income Victor suggested I take up modelling in the nude for artists and it is quite lucrative at 10 guineas per hour. It doesn’t quite cover Victor’s gambling debts so I came up with the idea of offering minor beastliness to young gentlemen for a small remuneration. You will understand then that your Bernard owes me 20 guineas. We cannot take cheques else the amount would be taxed so would you slip the amount into an envelope and have your butler drop it off at our residence?Your loving sister,TessDear Tess,I understand entirely your need to pursue a career of nude figure modelling and offering beastliness to strange men as times are hard. What I fail to understand is this, though you were naked, how it came to be that Bernard managed to be beastly with you if he was fully dressed? He, as far as I know, has not taken up a career of nude modelling. I have spoken to Bernard about the 20 guineas and he says he accepts his debt but says he must pay by cheque and make a record of the transaction, otherwise he will not be able to claim any tax relief on the transaction.CharlotteDear Charlotte,How Bernard achieved his end while fully clothed I do not know, but the fact is that beastliness did occur. As my new enterprise requires discreetness to all my gentlemen; you must question him further on the event. I am shocked that he wishes to declare the transaction to the tax authorities. Has he no concern for the reputation of his sister-in-law in her hour of need?TessDear Tess,My apologies, dear sister, but I have the truth from Bernard at last. It seems that when he saw you bending over, in all your nakedness, he became extremely aroused and took his manly parts out; and handled them vigorously, as he does. I suggested that his trip over the rug then, was caused by him approaching you with the intent of being beastly, but he denied this, saying that he was reaching for a box of cigars. I can vouch for this as he likes a smoke while committing the sin of Onan. Nevertheless, the fact is that he had his manly parts exposed and so, it was not only your nakedness which caused the incident. Consequently and by way of reparation I have insisted that he pay you in cash, with no record kept; to protect your reputation.Incidentally, now that he has been beastly with you, I wonder if I may venture that I would not object to your Victor being beastly with me, as a sort of quid pro quo. It would seem only fair and I make this offer with Bernard’s full approval. I am available for beastliness on the 14th thru 18th, while Bernard is off to Scotland for the shooting.CharlotteDear Charlotte,You are such a sweet sister! I received the 20 guineas yesterday and have tucked them secretly away. Victor is amazingly excited about being beastly with you and says he has had a notion for it ever since he first met you. He was so aroused that he was beastly with me last eve, several times and in various positions. I do hope he provides as much satisfaction as your Bernard did for me. He was beastly with me for over half an hour, which is what made me suspicious about the story of tripping on the rug.On the former matter, Victor asks if being beastly with you is on the same commercial basis that I am pursuing and, if that is the case, what kind of fee you would be looking for? I personally would only ask that you set a sufficiently high quid for your bountiful quo. So as not to raise the presumptions of my future complimentary ministrations, such as suffice to satisfy his urges..TessDear Tess,No, I am not selling beastliness as you are, for we are not in the same financial straits which you are suffering, so you can inform Victor he may keep his cash in his pocket. I am only offering him beastliness so that we can all be on an equal footing in being beastly with each other. I have no particular desire for Victor and look upon the upcoming event as merely a matter of etiquette. The sooner you two can get yourself back on a sound financial footing, so that you can forego selling beastliness, the happier I shall be. It does my reputation no good, let me tell you, to have my sister behaving like a trollop. Whatever my debauched actions extend to shall be my best effort to further share in your sufferings, as a good sister ought to do.Your devoted sibling,CharlotteDear Charlotte,I am saddened that you think me a trollop for I had aspirations to be a strumpet. I acknowledge that these positions hold little in the way of social distinction, but the beastliness is jolly good and one does meet such interesting people. A bishop of the church visited me yesterday but he only wanted me to sit on his lap and call him uncle while he fiddled about beneath my skirts. It was the easiest and quickest 10 guineas I’ve ever earned. He even said, ‘Bless you, child,’ when he left.Your loving sister,TessDearest Tess,Sitting on bishop’s knees while they fiddle about with your under-carriage is hardly becoming of a well-brought-up young lady. If word of this gets out your reputation will be totally ruined. Have a care, beastliness with young men to earn a coin is understandable, but this goes beyond the pale.Your concerned sister,Charlotte.Dear, sweet, Charlotte,I fear you have misunderstood me. The gentleman in question was Roman Catholic, and not Church of EnglandTessDear Tess,Thank the Lord for that. I had believed that these Romish sorts were only interested in young men’s bottoms so, of course, I assumed that the clerical gentleman in question was one of ours. This puts the entire matter in a totally different light; though I do warn you to steer clear of the clergy in general. They are there to look after our spiritual needs and should not be tempted by beastliness. Tell Victor, I shall expect him at 11am, the 14th; as arranged. And please Insist that he fasts all carnal relief along the trip. And that he's had a sound night's rest. His return shall commence following sufficient rest for the carriage ride home.CharlotteDear Charlotte,Have no fears, I have no intent to allow full beastliness with a member of the clergy. If I were so minded our local vicar is quite a dish. The poor chap has the misfortune to be married to a wife with a face so sour that one could hardly imagine that she’d ever seen a gentleman’s sausage, never mind handled it, so he’s be bound to be up for a bit of extra-marital naughtiness. But he has nothing to fear from me as there are enough of the laity to satisfy my financial needs.I hope you are enjoying your bout of beastliness with Victor. He left here quite the ardent lover at the thought of beastliness with you, and with my consent too. No man could have been more pleased at the consequences of his brother in law tripping over a carpet rug.Your loving sister,TessDear Tess,Your letter is to hand, but your husband is not. I know you said he had a bad sense of direction but he was to be picked up at the railway station by our driver, so I can’t see how he could possibly have lost his way. Oh wait, I think I hear the door.CharlotteDearest Charlotte,I write on behalf of Victor who wants me to thank you for a wonderful weekend. He says the beastliness was absolutely superb and possibly the best he’d ever had, which made me a little jealous, I confess. Nevertheless, he has returned to me re-invigorated and never stops from singing your praises. All day he has been telling me how good you are at this, and how wonderfully you did that. If you are such an artiste where beastliness is concerned perhaps you should reconsider offering it on a commercial basis.Your sister,TessDear Tess,I fear Victor’s recollections of our encounter differ somewhat from mine. For me, the beastliness was not 'superb’ and as a matter of fact I thought it quite inadequate. I had hardly got him into my bed-chamber and started handling his sausage when he was effusive all over my hand. I allowed him a half hour to recover and then attempted again, when he reacted in precisely the same fashion. I will say this for him, he is copious. However the entire weekend proceeded in this fashion and in matter of fact no complete beastliness ever took place. Is this what he is like when he is beastly with you? You must have a very unhappy marital life if this is the case and the chances of you starting a family are slim.With my deepest regrets.CharlotteDear Charlotte,Victor admits that he became over-excited at thought of being beastly with you and humbly begs your pardon for his woeful performance. He is not, he himself allows, one of nature’s long-distance runners, but neither is he a sprinter. He is what you might call a 'middle-distance’ man and I have always found him entirely satisfactory in that department. You are, as I freely admit, much more beautiful than I, and I can quite understand how the thought of beastliness with you, brought my poor pet to such a state of arousal. So, please forgive us both for our lack.Your humble sister,TessDear Tess,I do not see how you can say that I am more beautiful than you, for as you well know I am your sister. Not only that, I am your twin sister. Even more so, I am your identical twin sister. I am older than you by a matter of ten minutes which might suggest that it is this fact which has worked the trick and your Victor is actually aroused by older women. I would be glad to hear your views on this.CharlotteDear Charlotte,Ah, but that explains so much. Why we always had our birthdays on the same day and were always the same age. I do wish Mama had told me but, as you know, she was always busy entertaining uncle Samuel and far too distracted for we young sprites. As to Victor being attracted to older women, he denies this vigorously and says he only has eyes for pretty young doxies such as we are. He also says that the incident with old Mrs Puffer, the family cook, was an utter misunderstanding and the rumour that he was caught in her room about to be beastly with her was a falsehood. He was, in fact, rummaging through her clothes looking for a school-book which she had secreted about her person. I have my doubts about this version of events however, as I am aware of how much Victor loathes learning of any sort.It may therefore be true that he is aroused by old crones, such as you are. Just think, when you reach the grand old age of 30, for a full 10 minutes I shall be only 29. Oh, the joy of being young!Victor has offered to visit you again and attempt to make a better list of being beastly if this is acceptable to both Bernard and yourself. For myself, I should think that he has had his chance and should be happy for the limited amount of beastliness he did get. If you think differently, please let me know.  If further correspondence becomes too difficult for your butler to attend to deliveries, You might consider sending your letters with Bernard, at his weekly… art tutoring.Your younger sister,TessBy Sally hollister for Literotica

I. In February 2023 I found myself sitting in the waiting room of a San Francisco fertility clinic, holding a cup of my own semen. The Bible tells the story of Onan, son of Judah. Onan's brother died. Tradition dictated that Onan should impregnate his brother's wife, ensuring that his brother's line would (in some sense) live on. Onan refused, instead “spilling the seed on the ground”. God smote Onan, starting a 4,000-year-old tradition of religious people getting angry about wasting sperm on anything other than procreative sex. Modern academics have a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this. If Onan had impregnated his brother's wife, the resulting child would have been the heir to the family fortune. Onan refused so he could keep the fortune for himself and his descendants. So the sin of Onan was greed, not masturbation. All that stuff in the Talmud about how the hands of masturbators should be cut off, or how masturbation helped cause Noah's Flood (really! Sanhedrin 108b!) is just a coincidence. God hates greed, just like us. Modern academics are great, but trusting them feels somehow too convenient. So there in the waiting room, I tried to put myself in the mindset of the rabbis thousands of years ago who thought wasting semen was a such a dire offense. https://www.astralcodexten.com/p/in-the-long-run-were-all-dad 

If you're a Christian, or if you've ever been impacted by Christianity in any way, this episode should be next on your list. Dr. Kevin Jensen believes that it's possible for Christians to have amazing, sacred sex - and that these experiences are also supported by the bible. Kind of mind blowing stuff...

As longtime fans may remember, it's a Christmas tradition here at the SASF headquarters to take the worst Bible Stories and turn them into Christmas fodder... because that's what they are: they are the dark before the Light came down at Bethlehem two thousand and twenty-seven years ago. Today Nate chooses the tragedy of Onan and weaves it into the Advent story. We hope this SASF episode will help you read the Old Testament better. Merry Christmas! #SASF #StoriesAreSoulFood #Onan #DarkChristmasStories #MerryChristmas #TheLightCameDown #MessianicLine

Promised to take you on a journey of exploration through the profound stories of Er, Onan, Joseph, and Potiphar's wife in Parsha Vayeishev. In this episode, we lay bare the dire repercussions of squandering one's potential and power, particularly in the realm of procreation. We delve into the vital responsibility we all carry to responsibly utilize our God-given abilities and power. We also highlight the key role women play in maintaining modesty and fostering a righteous life, and how crucial it is not to provoke inappropriate thoughts in others.In a world riddled with distractions and temptations, safeguarding our spirituality becomes paramount. As we navigate through the story of Yosef, we highlight the courage it took for him to flee a situation that threatened his spirituality. The narrative prompts us to reflect on the potential pitfalls that may jeopardize our own spiritual well-being and the well-being of our children. Drawing from personal experiences, we emphasize the significance of prioritizing our spiritual health and seeking divine guidance and protection on our journey towards holiness. Tune in, and let's take this enlightening journey together.This episode (Ep 6.9) of the Parsha Review Podcast by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe on Parshas Vayeishev is dedicated in Honor of our dear friend Moshe Butler & our Holy Soldiers in the Battlefield and our Torah Scholars in the Study Halls who are fighting for the safety of our nation!Download & Print the Parsha Review Notes:https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1ncaRyoH5iJmGGoMZs9y82Hz2ofViVouv?usp=sharing ****To listen to other podcasts by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe: https://linktr.ee/ariwol Jewish Inspiration Podcast: https://inspiration.transistor.fm/episodes Parsha Review Podcast: https://parsha.transistor.fm/episodes Living Jewishly Podcast: https://jewishly.transistor.fm/episodes Thinking Talmudist Podcast: https://talmud.transistor.fm/episodes Unboxing Judaism Podcast: https://unboxing.transistor.fm/episodes Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe Podcast Collection: https://collection.transistor.fm/episodes Please send your questions, comments and even your stories to awolbe@torchweb.orgPlease visit www.torchweb.org to see a full listing of our Jewish outreach and educational resources available in the Greater Houston area and please consider sponsoring a podcast by making a donation to help support our global outreach at https://www.torchweb.org/donate. Thank you!For a full listing of podcasts available by TORCH at https://www.TORCHpodcasts.comRecorded in the TORCH Centre - Studio B to a live audience on December 5, 2023, in Houston, Texas.Released as Podcast on December 6, 2023 ★ Support this podcast ★

Promised to take you on a journey of exploration through the profound stories of Er, Onan, Joseph, and Potiphar's wife in Parsha Vayeishev. In this episode, we lay bare the dire repercussions of squandering one's potential and power, particularly in the realm of procreation (Shemiras Habris). We delve into the vital responsibility we all carry to responsibly utilize our God-given abilities and power. We also highlight the key role women play in maintaining modesty and fostering a righteous life, and how crucial it is not to provoke inappropriate thoughts in others.In a world riddled with distractions and temptations, safeguarding our spirituality becomes paramount. As we navigate through the story of Yosef, we highlight the courage it took for him to flee a situation that threatened his spirituality. The narrative prompts us to reflect on the potential pitfalls that may jeopardize our own spiritual well-being and the well-being of our children. Drawing from personal experiences, we emphasize the significance of prioritizing our spiritual health and seeking divine guidance and protection on our journey towards holiness. Tune in, and let's take this enlightening journey together.This episode (Ep 6.9) of the Parsha Review Podcast by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe on Parshas Vayeishev is dedicated in Honor of our dear friend Moshe Butler & our Holy Soldiers in the Battlefield and our Torah Scholars in the Study Halls who are fighting for the safety of our nation!Download & Print the Parsha Review Notes:https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1ncaRyoH5iJmGGoMZs9y82Hz2ofViVouv?usp=sharing ****To listen to other podcasts by Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe: https://linktr.ee/ariwol Jewish Inspiration Podcast: https://inspiration.transistor.fm/episodes Parsha Review Podcast: https://parsha.transistor.fm/episodes Living Jewishly Podcast: https://jewishly.transistor.fm/episodes Thinking Talmudist Podcast: https://talmud.transistor.fm/episodes Unboxing Judaism Podcast: https://unboxing.transistor.fm/episodes Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe Podcast Collection: https://collection.transistor.fm/episodes Please send your questions, comments and even your stories to awolbe@torchweb.orgPlease visit www.torchweb.org to see a full listing of our Jewish outreach and educational resources available in the Greater Houston area and please consider sponsoring a podcast by making a donation to help support our global outreach at https://www.torchweb.org/donate. Thank you!For a full listing of podcasts available by TORCH at https://www.TORCHpodcasts.comRecorded in the TORCH Centre - Studio B to a live audience on December 5, 2023, in Houston, Texas.Released as Podcast on December 6, 2023 ★ Support this podcast ★

There are many stories in the Bible about women who saved the nation by producing sons, but the story of Tamar has got to be the most extreme example. Based on Genesis 38 and a follow-up to Episode 7.22, Onan the Man with the Plan. Show notes have been posted at retellingthebible.wordpress.com. Media in this Episode The following music was used for this media project: Music: AhDah by Kevin MacLeod Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/3345-ahdah License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Artist website: https://incompetech.com Music: Rising Sun by Sascha Ende Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/86-rising-sun Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Support Retelling the Bible If you would like to support the work that I do creating these stories, go to patreon.com/retellingthebible and choose a level of support!

With family: 1 Chronicles 1–2; Hebrews 8 1 Chronicles 1–2 (Listen) From Adam to Abraham 1 Adam, Seth, Enosh; 2 Kenan, Mahalalel, Jared; 3 Enoch, Methuselah, Lamech; 4 Noah, Shem, Ham, and Japheth. 5 The sons of Japheth: Gomer, Magog, Madai, Javan, Tubal, Meshech, and Tiras. 6 The sons of Gomer: Ashkenaz, Riphath,1 and Togarmah. 7 The sons of Javan: Elishah, Tarshish, Kittim, and Rodanim. 8 The sons of Ham: Cush, Egypt, Put, and Canaan. 9 The sons of Cush: Seba, Havilah, Sabta, Raamah, and Sabteca. The sons of Raamah: Sheba and Dedan. 10 Cush fathered Nimrod. He was the first on earth to be a mighty man.2 11 Egypt fathered Ludim, Anamim, Lehabim, Naphtuhim, 12 Pathrusim, Casluhim (from whom the Philistines came), and Caphtorim. 13 Canaan fathered Sidon his firstborn and Heth, 14 and the Jebusites, the Amorites, the Girgashites, 15 the Hivites, the Arkites, the Sinites, 16 the Arvadites, the Zemarites, and the Hamathites. 17 The sons of Shem: Elam, Asshur, Arpachshad, Lud, and Aram. And the sons of Aram:3 Uz, Hul, Gether, and Meshech. 18 Arpachshad fathered Shelah, and Shelah fathered Eber. 19 To Eber were born two sons: the name of the one was Peleg4 (for in his days the earth was divided), and his brother's name was Joktan. 20 Joktan fathered Almodad, Sheleph, Hazarmaveth, Jerah, 21 Hadoram, Uzal, Diklah, 22 Obal,5 Abimael, Sheba, 23 Ophir, Havilah, and Jobab; all these were the sons of Joktan. 24 Shem, Arpachshad, Shelah; 25 Eber, Peleg, Reu; 26 Serug, Nahor, Terah; 27 Abram, that is, Abraham. From Abraham to Jacob 28 The sons of Abraham: Isaac and Ishmael. 29 These are their genealogies: the firstborn of Ishmael, Nebaioth, and Kedar, Adbeel, Mibsam, 30 Mishma, Dumah, Massa, Hadad, Tema, 31 Jetur, Naphish, and Kedemah. These are the sons of Ishmael. 32 The sons of Keturah, Abraham's concubine: she bore Zimran, Jokshan, Medan, Midian, Ishbak, and Shuah. The sons of Jokshan: Sheba and Dedan. 33 The sons of Midian: Ephah, Epher, Hanoch, Abida, and Eldaah. All these were the descendants of Keturah. 34 Abraham fathered Isaac. The sons of Isaac: Esau and Israel. 35 The sons of Esau: Eliphaz, Reuel, Jeush, Jalam, and Korah. 36 The sons of Eliphaz: Teman, Omar, Zepho, Gatam, Kenaz, and of Timna,6 Amalek. 37 The sons of Reuel: Nahath, Zerah, Shammah, and Mizzah. 38 The sons of Seir: Lotan, Shobal, Zibeon, Anah, Dishon, Ezer, and Dishan. 39 The sons of Lotan: Hori and Hemam;7 and Lotan's sister was Timna. 40 The sons of Shobal: Alvan,8 Manahath, Ebal, Shepho,9 and Onam. The sons of Zibeon: Aiah and Anah. 41 The son10 of Anah: Dishon. The sons of Dishon: Hemdan,11 Eshban, Ithran, and Cheran. 42 The sons of Ezer: Bilhan, Zaavan, and Akan.12 The sons of Dishan: Uz and Aran. 43 These are the kings who reigned in the land of Edom before any king reigned over the people of Israel: Bela the son of Beor, the name of his city being Dinhabah. 44 Bela died, and Jobab the son of Zerah of Bozrah reigned in his place. 45 Jobab died, and Husham of the land of the Temanites reigned in his place. 46 Husham died, and Hadad the son of Bedad, who defeated Midian in the country of Moab, reigned in his place, the name of his city being Avith. 47 Hadad died, and Samlah of Masrekah reigned in his place. 48 Samlah died, and Shaul of Rehoboth on the Euphrates13 reigned in his place. 49 Shaul died, and Baal-hanan, the son of Achbor, reigned in his place. 50 Baal-hanan died, and Hadad reigned in his place, the name of his city being Pai; and his wife's name was Mehetabel, the daughter of Matred, the daughter of Mezahab. 51 And Hadad died. The chiefs of Edom were: chiefs Timna, Alvah, Jetheth, 52 Oholibamah, Elah, Pinon, 53 Kenaz, Teman, Mibzar, 54 Magdiel, and Iram; these are the chiefs of Edom. A Genealogy of David 2 These are the sons of Israel: Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Zebulun, 2 Dan, Joseph, Benjamin, Naphtali, Gad, and Asher. 3 The sons of Judah: Er, Onan and Shelah; these three Bath-shua the Canaanite bore to him. Now Er, Judah's firstborn, was evil in the sight of the LORD, and he put him to death. 4 His daughter-in-law Tamar also bore him Perez and Zerah. Judah had five sons in all. 5 The sons of Perez: Hezron and Hamul. 6 The sons of Zerah: Zimri, Ethan, Heman, Calcol, and Dara, five in all. 7 The son14 of Carmi: Achan, the troubler of Israel, who broke faith in the matter of the devoted thing; 8 and Ethan's son was Azariah. 9 The sons of Hezron that were born to him: Jerahmeel, Ram, and Chelubai. 10 Ram fathered Amminadab, and Amminadab fathered Nahshon, prince of the sons of Judah. 11 Nahshon fathered Salmon,15 Salmon fathered Boaz, 12 Boaz fathered Obed, Obed fathered Jesse. 13 Jesse fathered Eliab his firstborn, Abinadab the second, Shimea the third, 14 Nethanel the fourth, Raddai the fifth, 15 Ozem the sixth, David the seventh. 16 And their sisters were Zeruiah and Abigail. The sons of Zeruiah: Abishai, Joab, and Asahel, three. 17 Abigail bore Amasa, and the father of Amasa was Jether the Ishmaelite. 18 Caleb the son of Hezron fathered children by his wife Azubah, and by Jerioth; and these were her sons: Jesher, Shobab, and Ardon. 19 When Azubah died, Caleb married Ephrath, who bore him Hur. 20 Hur fathered Uri, and Uri fathered Bezalel. 21 Afterward Hezron went in to the daughter of Machir the father of Gilead, whom he married when he was sixty years old, and she bore him Segub. 22 And Segub fathered Jair, who had twenty-three cities in the land of Gilead. 23 But Geshur and Aram took from them Havvoth-jair, Kenath, and its villages, sixty towns. All these were descendants of Machir, the father of Gilead. 24 After the death of Hezron, Caleb went in to Ephrathah,16 the wife of Hezron his father, and she bore him Ashhur, the father of Tekoa. 25 The sons of Jerahmeel, the firstborn of Hezron: Ram, his firstborn, Bunah, Oren, Ozem, and Ahijah. 26 Jerahmeel also had another wife, whose name was Atarah; she was the mother of Onam. 27 The sons of Ram, the firstborn of Jerahmeel: Maaz, Jamin, and Eker. 28 The sons of Onam: Shammai and Jada. The sons of Shammai: Nadab and Abishur. 29 The name of Abishur's wife was Abihail, and she bore him Ahban and Molid. 30 The sons of Nadab: Seled and Appaim; and Seled died childless. 31 The son17 of Appaim: Ishi. The son of Ishi: Sheshan. The son of Sheshan: Ahlai. 32 The sons of Jada, Shammai's brother: Jether and Jonathan; and Jether died childless. 33 The sons of Jonathan: Peleth and Zaza. These were the descendants of Jerahmeel. 34 Now Sheshan had no sons, only daughters, but Sheshan had an Egyptian slave whose name was Jarha. 35 So Sheshan gave his daughter in marriage to Jarha his slave, and she bore him Attai. 36 Attai fathered Nathan, and Nathan fathered Zabad. 37 Zabad fathered Ephlal, and Ephlal fathered Obed. 38 Obed fathered Jehu, and Jehu fathered Azariah. 39 Azariah fathered Helez, and Helez fathered Eleasah. 40 Eleasah fathered Sismai, and Sismai fathered Shallum. 41 Shallum fathered Jekamiah, and Jekamiah fathered Elishama. 42 The sons of Caleb the brother of Jerahmeel: Mareshah18 his firstborn, who fathered Ziph. The son19 of Mareshah: Hebron.20 43 The sons of Hebron: Korah, Tappuah, Rekem and Shema. 44 Shema fathered Raham, the father of Jorkeam; and Rekem fathered Shammai. 45 The son of Shammai: Maon; and Maon fathered Beth-zur. 46 Ephah also, Caleb's concubine, bore Haran, Moza, and Gazez; and Haran fathered Gazez. 47 The sons of Jahdai: Regem, Jotham, Geshan, Pelet, Ephah, and Shaaph. 48 Maacah, Caleb's concubine, bore Sheber and Tirhanah. 49 She also bore Shaaph the father of Madmannah, Sheva the father of Machbenah and the father of Gibea; and the daughter of Caleb was Achsah. 50 These were the descendants of Caleb. The sons21 of Hur the firstborn of Ephrathah: Shobal the father of Kiriath-jearim, 51 Salma, the father of Bethlehem, and Hareph the father of Beth-gader. 52 Shobal the father of Kiriath-jearim had other sons: Haroeh, half of the Menuhoth. 53 And the clans of Kiriath-jearim: the Ithrites, the Puthites, the Shumathites, and the Mishraites; from these came the Zorathites and the Eshtaolites. 54 The sons of Salma: Bethlehem, the Netophathites, Atroth-beth-joab and half of the Manahathites, the Zorites. 55 The clans also of the scribes who lived at Jabez: the Tirathites, the Shimeathites and the Sucathites. These are the Kenites who came from Hammath, the father of the house of Rechab. Footnotes [1] 1:6 Septuagint; Hebrew Diphath [2] 1:10 Or He began to be a mighty man on the earth [3] 1:17 Septuagint; Hebrew lacks And the sons of Aram [4] 1:19 Peleg means division [5] 1:22 Septuagint, Syriac (compare Genesis 10:28); Hebrew Ebal [6] 1:36 Septuagint (compare Genesis 36:12); Hebrew lacks and of [7] 1:39 Septuagint (compare Genesis 36:22); Hebrew Homam [8] 1:40 Septuagint (compare Genesis 36:23); Hebrew Alian [9] 1:40 Septuagint (compare Genesis 36:23); Hebrew Shephi [10] 1:41 Hebrew sons [11] 1:41 Septuagint (compare Genesis 36:26); Hebrew Hamran [12] 1:42 Septuagint (compare Genesis 36:27); Hebrew Jaakan [13] 1:48 Hebrew the River [14] 2:7 Hebrew sons [15] 2:11 Septuagint (compare Ruth 4:21); Hebrew Salma [16] 2:24 Septuagint, Vulgate; Hebrew in Caleb Ephrathah [17] 2:31 Hebrew sons; three times in this verse [18] 2:42 Septuagint; Hebrew Mesha [19] 2:42 Hebrew sons [20] 2:42 Hebrew the father of Hebron [21] 2:50 Septuagint, Vulgate; Hebrew son (ESV) Hebrews 8 (Listen) Jesus, High Priest of a Better Covenant 8 Now the point in what we are saying is this: we have such a high priest, one who is seated at the right hand of the throne of the Majesty in heaven, 2 a minister in the holy places, in the true tent1 that the Lord set up, not man. 3 For every high priest is appointed to offer gifts and sacrifices; thus it is necessary for this priest also to have something to offer. 4 Now if he were on earth, he would not be a priest at all, since there are priests who offer gifts according to the law. 5 They serve a copy and shadow of the heavenly things. For when Moses was about to erect the tent, he was instructed by God, saying, “See that you make everything according to the pattern that was shown you on the mountain.” 6 But as it is, Christ2 has obtained a ministry that is as much more excellent than the old as the covenant he mediates is better, since it is enacted on better promises. 7 For if that first covenant had been faultless, there would have been no occasion to look for a second. 8 For he finds fault with them when he says:3   “Behold, the days are coming, declares the Lord,    when I will establish a new covenant with the house of Israel    and with the house of Judah,9   not like the covenant that I made with their fathers    on the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt.  For they did not continue in my covenant,    and so I showed no concern for them, declares the Lord.10   For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel    after those days, declares the Lord:  I will put my laws into their minds,    and write them on their hearts,  and I will be their God,    and they shall be my people.11   And they shall not teach, each one his neighbor    and each one his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,'  for they shall all know me,    from the least of them to the greatest.12   For I will be merciful toward their iniquities,    and I will remember their sins no more.” 13 In speaking of a new covenant, he makes the first one obsolete. And what is becoming obsolete and growing old is ready to vanish away. Footnotes [1] 8:2 Or tabernacle; also verse 5 [2] 8:6 Greek he [3] 8:8 Some manuscripts For finding fault with it he says to them (ESV) In private: Psalm 145; Amos 2 Psalm 145 (Listen) Great Is the Lord 1 A Song of Praise. Of David. 145   I will extol you, my God and King,    and bless your name forever and ever.2   Every day I will bless you    and praise your name forever and ever.3   Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised,    and his greatness is unsearchable. 4   One generation shall commend your works to another,    and shall declare your mighty acts.5   On the glorious splendor of your majesty,    and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.6   They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds,    and I will declare your greatness.7   They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness    and shall sing aloud of your righteousness. 8   The LORD is gracious and merciful,    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.9   The LORD is good to all,    and his mercy is over all that he has made. 10   All your works shall give thanks to you, O LORD,    and all your saints shall bless you!11   They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom    and tell of your power,12   to make known to the children of man your2 mighty deeds,    and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.13   Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,    and your dominion endures throughout all generations.   [The LORD is faithful in all his words    and kind in all his works.]314   The LORD upholds all who are falling    and raises up all who are bowed down.15   The eyes of all look to you,    and you give them their food in due season.16   You open your hand;    you satisfy the desire of every living thing.17   The LORD is righteous in all his ways    and kind in all his works.18   The LORD is near to all who call on him,    to all who call on him in truth.19   He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;    he also hears their cry and saves them.20   The LORD preserves all who love him,    but all the wicked he will destroy. 21   My mouth will speak the praise of the LORD,    and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever. Footnotes [1] 145:1 This psalm is an acrostic poem, each verse beginning with the successive letters of the Hebrew alphabet [2] 145:12 Hebrew his; also next line [3] 145:13 These two lines are supplied by one Hebrew manuscript, Septuagint, Syriac (compare Dead Sea Scroll) (ESV) Amos 2 (Listen) 2 Thus says the LORD:   “For three transgressions of Moab,    and for four, I will not revoke the punishment,1  because he burned to lime    the bones of the king of Edom.2   So I will send a fire upon Moab,    and it shall devour the strongholds of Kerioth,  and Moab shall die amid uproar,    amid shouting and the sound of the trumpet;3   I will cut off the ruler from its midst,    and will kill all its princes2 with him,”      says the LORD. Judgment on Judah 4 Thus says the LORD:   “For three transgressions of Judah,    and for four, I will not revoke the punishment,  because they have rejected the law of the LORD,    and have not kept his statutes,  but their lies have led them astray,    those after which their fathers walked.5   So I will send a fire upon Judah,    and it shall devour the strongholds of Jerusalem.” Judgment on Israel 6 

Onan always hated his older brother but, after he had died, he found the perfect way to take revenge on him -- or at least on his wife. Contains references to rape and abusive sex. Based on Genesis 38:1-11. Show notes have been posted at retellingthebible.wordpress.com. Media in this Episode The following music was used for this media project: Music: AhDah by Kevin MacLeod Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/3345-ahdah License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Artist website: https://incompetech.com "Scheming Weasel (slower version)" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ "Scheming Weasel (faster version)" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Music: Scheming Weasel [Metal Version] (feat. Kevin MacLeod) by Alexander Nakarada Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/8163-scheming-weasel-metal-version-feat-kevin-macleod Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Support Retelling the Bible If you would like to support the work that I do creating these stories, go to patreon.com/retellingthebible and choose a level of support!

This week's episodes: PRIDE DAY!, Onan's Streak, The Guardian, and The Ascent.

Old Testament: 1 Chronicles 2 1 Chronicles 2 (Listen) A Genealogy of David 2 These are the sons of Israel: Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Zebulun, 2 Dan, Joseph, Benjamin, Naphtali, Gad, and Asher. 3 The sons of Judah: Er, Onan and Shelah; these three Bath-shua the Canaanite bore to him. Now Er, Judah's firstborn, was evil in the sight of the LORD, and he put him to death. 4 His daughter-in-law Tamar also bore him Perez and Zerah. Judah had five sons in all. 5 The sons of Perez: Hezron and Hamul. 6 The sons of Zerah: Zimri, Ethan, Heman, Calcol, and Dara, five in all. 7 The son1 of Carmi: Achan, the troubler of Israel, who broke faith in the matter of the devoted thing; 8 and Ethan's son was Azariah. 9 The sons of Hezron that were born to him: Jerahmeel, Ram, and Chelubai. 10 Ram fathered Amminadab, and Amminadab fathered Nahshon, prince of the sons of Judah. 11 Nahshon fathered Salmon,2 Salmon fathered Boaz, 12 Boaz fathered Obed, Obed fathered Jesse. 13 Jesse fathered Eliab his firstborn, Abinadab the second, Shimea the third, 14 Nethanel the fourth, Raddai the fifth, 15 Ozem the sixth, David the seventh. 16 And their sisters were Zeruiah and Abigail. The sons of Zeruiah: Abishai, Joab, and Asahel, three. 17 Abigail bore Amasa, and the father of Amasa was Jether the Ishmaelite. 18 Caleb the son of Hezron fathered children by his wife Azubah, and by Jerioth; and these were her sons: Jesher, Shobab, and Ardon. 19 When Azubah died, Caleb married Ephrath, who bore him Hur. 20 Hur fathered Uri, and Uri fathered Bezalel. 21 Afterward Hezron went in to the daughter of Machir the father of Gilead, whom he married when he was sixty years old, and she bore him Segub. 22 And Segub fathered Jair, who had twenty-three cities in the land of Gilead. 23 But Geshur and Aram took from them Havvoth-jair, Kenath, and its villages, sixty towns. All these were descendants of Machir, the father of Gilead. 24 After the death of Hezron, Caleb went in to Ephrathah,3 the wife of Hezron his father, and she bore him Ashhur, the father of Tekoa. 25 The sons of Jerahmeel, the firstborn of Hezron: Ram, his firstborn, Bunah, Oren, Ozem, and Ahijah. 26 Jerahmeel also had another wife, whose name was Atarah; she was the mother of Onam. 27 The sons of Ram, the firstborn of Jerahmeel: Maaz, Jamin, and Eker. 28 The sons of Onam: Shammai and Jada. The sons of Shammai: Nadab and Abishur. 29 The name of Abishur's wife was Abihail, and she bore him Ahban and Molid. 30 The sons of Nadab: Seled and Appaim; and Seled died childless. 31 The son4 of Appaim: Ishi. The son of Ishi: Sheshan. The son of Sheshan: Ahlai. 32 The sons of Jada, Shammai's brother: Jether and Jonathan; and Jether died childless. 33 The sons of Jonathan: Peleth and Zaza. These were the descendants of Jerahmeel. 34 Now Sheshan had no sons, only daughters, but Sheshan had an Egyptian slave whose name was Jarha. 35 So Sheshan gave his daughter in marriage to Jarha his slave, and she bore him Attai. 36 Attai fathered Nathan, and Nathan fathered Zabad. 37 Zabad fathered Ephlal, and Ephlal fathered Obed. 38 Obed fathered Jehu, and Jehu fathered Azariah. 39 Azariah fathered Helez, and Helez fathered Eleasah. 40 Eleasah fathered Sismai, and Sismai fathered Shallum. 41 Shallum fathered Jekamiah, and Jekamiah fathered Elishama. 42 The sons of Caleb the brother of Jerahmeel: Mareshah5 his firstborn, who fathered Ziph. The son6 of Mareshah: Hebron.7 43 The sons of Hebron: Korah, Tappuah, Rekem and Shema. 44 Shema fathered Raham, the father of Jorkeam; and Rekem fathered Shammai. 45 The son of Shammai: Maon; and Maon fathered Beth-zur. 46 Ephah also, Caleb's concubine, bore Haran, Moza, and Gazez; and Haran fathered Gazez. 47 The sons of Jahdai: Regem, Jotham, Geshan, Pelet, Ephah, and Shaaph. 48 Maacah, Caleb's concubine, bore Sheber and Tirhanah. 49 She also bore Shaaph the father of Madmannah, Sheva the father of Machbenah and the father of Gibea; and the daughter of Caleb was Achsah. 50 These were the descendants of Caleb. The sons8 of Hur the firstborn of Ephrathah: Shobal the father of Kiriath-jearim, 51 Salma, the father of Bethlehem, and Hareph the father of Beth-gader. 52 Shobal the father of Kiriath-jearim had other sons: Haroeh, half of the Menuhoth. 53 And the clans of Kiriath-jearim: the Ithrites, the Puthites, the Shumathites, and the Mishraites; from these came the Zorathites and the Eshtaolites. 54 The sons of Salma: Bethlehem, the Netophathites, Atroth-beth-joab and half of the Manahathites, the Zorites. 55 The clans also of the scribes who lived at Jabez: the Tirathites, the Shimeathites and the Sucathites. These are the Kenites who came from Hammath, the father of the house of Rechab. Footnotes [1] 2:7 Hebrew sons [2] 2:11 Septuagint (compare Ruth 4:21); Hebrew Salma [3] 2:24 Septuagint, Vulgate; Hebrew in Caleb Ephrathah [4] 2:31 Hebrew sons; three times in this verse [5] 2:42 Septuagint; Hebrew Mesha [6] 2:42 Hebrew sons [7] 2:42 Hebrew the father of Hebron [8] 2:50 Septuagint, Vulgate; Hebrew son (ESV) Psalm: Psalm 1 Psalm 1 (Listen) Book One The Way of the Righteous and the Wicked 1   Blessed is the man1    who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,  nor stands in the way of sinners,    nor sits in the seat of scoffers;2   but his delight is in the law2 of the LORD,    and on his law he meditates day and night. 3   He is like a tree    planted by streams of water  that yields its fruit in its season,    and its leaf does not wither.  In all that he does, he prospers.4   The wicked are not so,    but are like chaff that the wind drives away. 5   Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,    nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;6   for the LORD knows the way of the righteous,    but the way of the wicked will perish. Footnotes [1] 1:1 The singular Hebrew word for man (ish) is used here to portray a representative example of a godly person; see Preface [2] 1:2 Or instruction (ESV) New Testament: Matthew 1–2 Matthew 1–2 (Listen) The Genealogy of Jesus Christ 1 The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham. 2 Abraham was the father of Isaac, and Isaac the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, 3 and Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar, and Perez the father of Hezron, and Hezron the father of Ram,1 4 and Ram the father of Amminadab, and Amminadab the father of Nahshon, and Nahshon the father of Salmon, 5 and Salmon the father of Boaz by Rahab, and Boaz the father of Obed by Ruth, and Obed the father of Jesse, 6 and Jesse the father of David the king. And David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah, 7 and Solomon the father of Rehoboam, and Rehoboam the father of Abijah, and Abijah the father of Asaph,2 8 and Asaph the father of Jehoshaphat, and Jehoshaphat the father of Joram, and Joram the father of Uzziah, 9 and Uzziah the father of Jotham, and Jotham the father of Ahaz, and Ahaz the father of Hezekiah, 10 and Hezekiah the father of Manasseh, and Manasseh the father of Amos,3 and Amos the father of Josiah, 11 and Josiah the father of Jechoniah and his brothers, at the time of the deportation to Babylon. 12 And after the deportation to Babylon: Jechoniah was the father of Shealtiel,4 and Shealtiel the father of Zerubbabel, 13 and Zerubbabel the father of Abiud, and Abiud the father of Eliakim, and Eliakim the father of Azor, 14 and Azor the father of Zadok, and Zadok the father of Achim, and Achim the father of Eliud, 15 and Eliud the father of Eleazar, and Eleazar the father of Matthan, and Matthan the father of Jacob, 16 and Jacob the father of Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called Christ. 17 So all the generations from Abraham to David were fourteen generations, and from David to the deportation to Babylon fourteen generations, and from the deportation to Babylon to the Christ fourteen generations. The Birth of Jesus Christ 18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ5 took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed6 to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. 19 And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. 20 But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” 22 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: 23   “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,    and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us). 24 When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, 25 but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus. The Visit of the Wise Men 2 Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men7 from the east came to Jerusalem, 2 saying, “Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw his star when it rose8 and have come to worship him.” 3 When Herod the king heard this, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him; 4 and assembling all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Christ was to be born. 5 They told him, “In Bethlehem of Judea, for so it is written by the prophet: 6   “‘And you, O Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,    are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;  for from you shall come a ruler    who will shepherd my people Israel.'” 7 Then Herod summoned the wise men secretly and ascertained from them what time the star had appeared. 8 And he sent them to Bethlehem, saying, “Go and search diligently for the child, and when you have found him, bring me word, that I too may come and worship him.” 9 After listening to the king, they went on their way. And behold, the star that they had seen when it rose went before them until it came to rest over the place where the child was. 10 When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy. 11 And going into the house, they saw the child with Mary his mother, and they fell down and worshiped him. Then, opening their treasures, they offered him gifts, gold and frankincense and myrrh. 12 And being warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they departed to their own country by another way. The Flight to Egypt 13 Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, “Rise, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you, for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him.” 14 And he rose and took the child and his mother by night and departed to Egypt 15 and remained there until the death of Herod. This was to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet, “Out of Egypt I called my son.” Herod Kills the Children 16 Then Herod, when he saw that he had been tricked by the wise men, became furious, and he sent and killed all the male children in Bethlehem and in all that region who were two years old or under, according to the time that he had ascertained from the wise men. 17 Then was fulfilled what was spoken by the prophet Jeremiah: 18   “A voice was heard in Ramah,    weeping and loud lamentation,  Rachel weeping for her children;    she refused to be comforted, because they are no more.” The Return to Nazareth 19 But when Herod died, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt, 20 saying, “Rise, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who sought the child's life are dead.” 21 And he rose and took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel. 22 But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning over Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there, and being warned in a dream he withdrew to the district of Galilee. 23 And he went and lived in a city called Nazareth, so that what was spoken by the prophets might be fulfilled, that he would be called a Nazarene. Footnotes [1] 1:3 Greek Aram; also verse 4 [2] 1:7 Asaph is probably an alternate spelling of Asa; some manuscripts Asa; also verse 8 [3] 1:10 Amos is probably an alternate spelling of Amon; some manuscripts Amon; twice in this verse [4] 1:12 Greek Salathiel; twice in this verse [5] 1:18 Some manuscripts of the Christ [6] 1:18 That is, legally pledged to be married [7] 2:1 Greek magi; also verses 7, 16 [8] 2:2 Or in the east; also verse 9 (ESV)

On today's Bible Answer Man broadcast (05/15/23), Hank answers the following questions:How can a person know the difference between an authentic salvation experience and a mere emotional one?Can a Christian be deceived by Satan?Why did Jesus sometimes instruct people not to proclaim His miracles?What is the Bible's teaching on drinking wine?Can you explain the significance of Onan spilling his seed in Genesis 38:8-9?Why are you a Christian and how do you know that it's true?Is science better than philosophy when deciding what you believe?Do you think Christianity is true beyond all doubt?

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There's been a recurring theme on the show over the years, of filling gaps in language, removing stigma and bias, finding better ways to express ourselves and talk about our feelings and our bodies. Today Kalle Rocklinger, sex educator with RFSU, the National Association for Sexuality Education in Sweden, talks about how and why over the years, the RFSU has come up with and publicised new terms for body parts and sexual acts, and what they would still like to change. This is the first part of the Telling Other Stories series, about renaming things. Content note: this episode contains discussions of sex and the associated body parts. Towards the end, there's discussion of consent which includes references to rape (there are no descriptions of acts or anybody's experiences). I mention when we're about to arrive at that part of the conversation, so anybody who needs to duck out during that section has some warning. Find out more about this episode and get extra information about the topics therein at theallusionist.org/debuts, where there's also a transcript. Join me for the Allusionist's 8th birthday celebration livestream! 14 January 2023, 10-11pm UK time at youtube.com/allusionistshow. There'll be dictionary readings, live Tranquillusionist, and chitchat and camaraderie. The Allusionist's online home is theallusionist.org. Stay in touch at facebook.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, youtube.com/allusionistshow and twitter.com/allusionistshow, while it still stands. Support the show at theallusionist.org/donate and as well as keeping this independent podcast going, you also get behind-the-scenes glimpses of the show, fortnightly livestreams, special perks at live shows, and best of all the Allusioverse Discord community. Over the next few weeks, we're watching Great Pottery Throwdown together. The Allusionist is produced by me, Helen Zaltzman. Martin Austwick provided editorial help and the original music. Hear Martin's own songs via palebirdmusic.com. Our ad partner is Multitude. To sponsor the show in 2023, contact them at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by: • Bombas, whose mission is to make the comfiest clothes ever, and match every item sold with an equal item donated. Go to bombas.com/allusionist to get 20% off your first purchase. • Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running a sleek website. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free 2-week trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. Support the show: http://patreon.com/allusionistSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.