Cackalack Panthers Chat

All we can say is that the Panthers technically "played" an NFL game this past Sunday.

Morgan and Canales came out swinging in their first draft. Will the risks inject some much needed talent into the roster? We'll have to wait and see. We won't, however, withhold our uneducated opinions.

The CPC Team discusses the new(new(new)) regime that will certainly lead the Panthers to glory - maybe in the next five years. Willstradamus makes a statement so bold, so confident, that it renders Reverend Spicey agape and speechless.

The most demoralizing, embarrassing, hopeless season in Panthers history is mercifully over, so the CPC Team reconvened to discuss what's next. Who can right the ship? How many years of suckitude will the fans endure? Will Tepper learn from his litany of mistakes and oversteps?

Help us break a 56 loss streak when the Panthers trail in the 4th quarter, for one.

Well, this season has not started the way anyone had hoped. 0-4 staring down the barrel of 0-6, questions around our first round draft pick, our coaching, our management, our ownership. These are the dark times, and the CPC team has decided to take a step back for a couple of weeks. We had a ton of fun with this episode and we're holding out hope for some positive developments to chat about in the coming weeks.

'“Man hands on misery to man,” Scott Fitterer said. “It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can–” Here he coughed, a ghastly sound, and his hands clutched his chest. “And don't let your kids be Panthers fans,” he finished, and uttered a short, sharp laugh, before trading away the last of his draft picks to move up in the third round for a project receiver.'

It is a dark time for the Panthers. Although the Rhule Regime has been destroyed, Division squads have driven the Loyalist forces from their preseason optimism and plunged them into uncertainty. Evading the dreaded 0-2 Startfleet, a group of brightside fighters led by Reverend Spicewalker has established a new secret base on the remote planet of Hope. The evil lord Darth Stradamus, obsessed with frustrating old Spicewalker, has dispatched thousands of pessimistic texts into the far reaches of the group chat....

Panthers football is back, baby, and nothing says "fall is in the air" like the sweet kiss of hopium following a sloppy loss. This is gonna be the year we turn it around!

Our favorite guest, Greg Jr. AKA Catman Jr., joins Rev. Spicey, Mel, and Willstradamus to shoot the breeze in anticipation of the first Panthers game of the new era!

Get to know Mel.

Get to know Willstradamus.

Get to know BK.

Get to know Rev. Spicey.

The crew (minus Will) finally pulled out of their post draft stupor, made some Bryce cubes, jumped in the studio, fumbled the opener, poured some Bryced tea, invited a special guest, talked draft, weiner mobile, and laughed incessantly at one host's dream to build Forever-ever Land - in that order.  Welcome to the Bryce cream party!

The CPC Team caught up with Panthers superfan Catman Jr. to discuss his thoughts on last season, this (refreshingly exciting) offseason, and the future of the Panthers.

Hiring Frank Reich is like when a wealthy, divorced middle-aged dad dates a 24-year-old and gets burned so badly it causes him to actually self-reflect with enough sincerity that he is able to discover his true values and search for an age-appropriate partner with life experience and a shared vision.

In classic Panthers fashion, the team went out and won a meaningless game to close out the season in an unconvincing way. Local legend Reverend Spicey returns to the show to eulogize another disappointing season. Here's to a great coaching hire and a strong draft so the team can finally claw its way out of mediocrity!

What else could you expect with Keith Taylor and CJ Henderson "covering" Mike Evans?

Dashing through the snow With a five-win "football" team O'er the fields we go Laughing all the way At least, through all the inconsistency and disappointment of the season, we get to spend time with the people that make us laugh! Merry Christmas and happy holidays from the CPC Team.

Luckily Geno wasn't granted the trademark.

Another Panthers win, another series of unfortunate events that prevented the whole crew from assembling. This week, Adam and Willstradamus did a two-man show to break the streak, and - no surprise to the women in their lives - managed to fill the basement studio, as well as a full episode, with their hot air.

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a clapping, As if some QB gently rapping, rapping at the redzone door— "'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at the redzone door— Only this and nothing more." And then Shi Smith fumbled.

Well, what happened was, that game, we got our ass kicked. In the first half, we just got our ass totally kicked. We couldn't do diddly poo offensively, we couldn't make a first down, we couldn't run the ball, we didn't try to run the ball, we couldn't complete a pass – we sucked. The second half, we sucked. We couldn't stop the run. Every time they got the ball, they went down and got points. We got our ass totally kicked in the second half – that's what it boiled down to. It was a horses--t performance in the second half. Horses--t. I'm totally embarrassed and totally ashamed. Coaching did a horrible job. The players did a horrible job. We got our ass kicked in that second half. It sucked. It stunk.

Just kidding, Eddy doesn't get that excuse. Of course, capturing the true essence of Panthers fandom, last week's jubilation-filled episode was marred by technical difficulties, but our special guest returned for another go-around following a game that had us all way past the edges of our various seats.

The crew jumped into the studio, excited to sound off on the Panthers big win over the Bucs, but due to some technical difficulties the recording didn't come through. So, this week's podcast is just a very brief recap of the big win. The crew are hopeful the momentum will carry, and that they will be back in the studio next week talking up another Panthers win.

There's not much on the field worth talking about, so Adam and BK discuss the rumors of a fire sale and what that would mean for the team going forward, while Mel and Willstradamus were at home trying to reassemble their broken Surface tablets.

Well, we got no choice All the girls and boys (girls and boys) Making all that noise (ooh) 'Cause they found new toys We can't salute ya Can't find a flag If that don't suit ya That's a drag Rhule's out for summer Rhule's out forever I'm bored to pieces

Now the story of a poverty franchise that lost (almost) everything, and the one coach who had no choice but to burn the rest to the ground. It's Arrhulested Development.

While Willstradamus and Mel were out performing research on the Panthers, BK and Adam jumped in the booth to talk about the Panthers breaking their losing streak, and which Simpsons characters best describe the Panthers.

After a brief glimmer of hope as the season kicked off with the thrill new possibilities, the Panthers have Panthers'd and converted optimists to Eeyores. When will the Panthers be good again? “Days. Weeks. Months. Who knows?”

We wanted a fresh W baked up, but instead the Panthers got served barbecue Brisket.

Well, mostly. Willstradamus was with us in spirit (and a prerecorded interview). The CPC team keeps pounding their unsolicited thoughts into the eager ears of our devoted listeners on all things preseason and the season to come.

Reverend Spicey, Mel, and Willstradamus go behind the cape with Panthers superfan, THE Catman Jr., to learn about the origin of the suit and his mission to save the Carolina Panthers from the wine and cheese crowd.

People whose wishes came true in the 2022 NFL Draft: BK, Mel, Willstradamus, and one incredibly enthusiastic New York Fu...ootball Giants fan. People whose hopes and dreams were agonizingly crushed in the 2022 NFL Draft: Reverend Spicey. Who's the Eeyore now, Adam?

The CPC team talks free agency, Reverend Spicey spreads the Gospel of Malik, and everyone shares their sixth sense for our sixth pick. How will the Panthers' front office fare?

Adam has a debate with one of the many voices in his head about the greatest Panthers defender of all time.

It's not Reverend Spicey's notorious Spanish style meal, but it's a little flavor of what you missed.

If you love them, let them go. The CPC team pulls out all the stops for the season finale. Featuring a legendary special guest appearance to eulogize the 2021 Panthers. Intro music: Invasion der Funghis // Mushroom Funghi Outro music: Little Lily Swing // Tri-Tachyon

Bonus content! The songs that best describe the Panthers' season, courtesy of the always clever BK.

Adam, BK, and Mel make their New Year's resolutions. Willstradamus was absent for the taping, but wanted it on the record that his resolution was to stop watching the Panthers. Intro music: Invasion der Funghis // Mushroom Funghi Outro music: Little Lily Swing // Tri-Tachyon

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. Intro music: Invasion der Funghis // Mushroom Funghi Outro music: Little Lily Swing // Tri-Tachyon

Willstradamus and Mel landed in COVID protocol prior to the episode taping, and BK used the chance to take some free shots at Cam - as if the Panthers' offensive line didn't let that happen enough on Sunday. Intro music: Invasion der Funghis // Mushroom Funghi Outro music: Little Lily Swing // Tri-Tachyon

I know that I can't take no more It ain't no lie I wanna see you out that door Brady bye, bye, bye.. Special guest host Josh sits in for BK. Intro music: Invasion der Funghis // Mushroom Funghi Outro music: Little Lily Swing // Tri-Tachyon

Mel is stuck in the first stage of grief after Cam put up the worst performance of his career. Adam slanders the finest player to ever grace the Panthers roster (hint: his father is a noted proponent of the "clean shaven" look). Intro music: Invasion der Funghis // Mushroom Funghi Outro music: Little Lily Swing // Tri-Tachyon

It's turkey season, and Adam got his hunting permit for one turkey in particular. Mel is absent from the broadcast, and we suspect Cam's Thanksgiving will have an uninvited guest. Intro music: Invasion der Funghis // Mushroom Funghi Outro music: Little Lily Swing // Tri-Tachyon

Cam Newton is back, and his return prompts an enthusiastic response from Mel - who may or may not have sold her children to ensure his signing. Intro music: Invasion der Funghis // Mushroom Funghi Outro music: Little Lily Swing // Tri-Tachyon

That episode before the first episode. The team introduces themselves.