Hallmark Snark

In this week's minisode, we're ranking Private Princess Christmas, Sugarplummed, and Leah's Perfect Gift using our scientifically snarky tier system. From “annoyingly good” to “snoozefest,” we're breaking down the highs, the lows, and everything in between. Brace yourself for some fast and festive judgment. Ready, set, snark! Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook and Instagram.

Well, Hallmark went full meta with Harmony Home and its Sugarplum series. Honestly, we're rooting for this to become a real franchise and need that rule book published immediately. Hallmark needed to decide if it wanted this to be funny or heartfelt. And while the sugarplum whimsy was delightfully fun, even gin cookies couldn't make this family believable. We still wish this could have been our gay movie of the year. We hope they try again—just without the dad. Join us for Episode 17 of our snarky adventure as we watch, discuss, and judge Hallmark Christmas movies. Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Bluesky.

Our "minisode" isn't so mini this week as we tackle seven movies for Thanksgiving! We're ranking Debbie Macomber's Joyful Mrs. Miracle, A '90s Christmas, Deck the Walls, Believe in Christmas, Holiday Touchdown: A Chiefs Love Story, The Finnish Line, and The Christmas Quest in our scientifically snarky tier system. From “annoyingly good” to “snoozefest,” we're here to break down which movies were worth the holiday marathon. Brace yourself for some fast and festive judgment. Ready, set, snark! Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook and Instagram.

While this was one of the most disappointing treasure hunts we've been on, the stunning Icelandic landscapes and views almost made up for it. We'd suggest renaming this movie to "Maybe the Real Treasure Is the Friends and Family We Met Along the Way." While it tried to nod to Indiana Jones and The Da Vinci Code, there's a reason those movies don't include a baking montage. The pacing felt as uneven as the terrain they crossed. On the bright side, we learned a valuable lesson: always leave a cryptic letter for your children when you discover your next treasure. We did agree this movie featured the best ball gown of the season!   Join us for Episode 15 of our snarky adventure as we watch, discuss, and judge Hallmark Christmas movies. Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Bluesky.

Back with another minisode, where we're ranking this weekend's holiday movies— Christmas on Call, Three Wiser Men and a Boy, To Have and to Holiday—in our scientifically snarky tier system. From “annoyingly good” to “snoozefest,” we're here to break down which movies are worth your time, which are just watchable, and which are only good for the snark. Brace yourself for some fast and festive judgment. Ready, set, snark! Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook and Instagram.

Well shucks. We were annoyed…by how good this was. Can a sequel be better than the original? The Godfather taught us it's possible, and while this isn't The Godfather, it's one of those rare moments where a sequel delivers. Join us as we indulge in a steady diet of sparks—not often found in such abundance in our Countdown to Christmas reviews. We may do a little bit of fan-girl/boy-ing over Paul Campbell and Kimberley Sustad, but don't worry—we still managed to find a healthy dose of snarks to snack on. Also, we'd absolutely pay to see How the Grump Ruins Christmas.

Back with another minisode, where we're ranking this weekend's holiday movies— Christmas with the Singhs, Jingle Bell Run, Confessions of a Christmas Letter—in our scientifically snarky tier system. From “annoyingly good” to “snoozefest,” we're here to break down which movies are worth your time, which are just watchable, and which are only good for the snark. Brace yourself for some fast and festive judgment. Ready, set, snark! Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook and Instagram.

Welcome to our first crossover episode with our new snarky friends, Nameless Best Friends. Jingle Bell Run? More like Mildly Festive Plane Trips to Solve Low-Budget Challenges. From walnut cracking to ski valet fruitcake hockey, the thrills were few, but the payout was huge. Sure, the stakes were low, but we stayed for the jackets and Andrew Walker's center part, which deserved its own trophy.   Join us for Episode 11 of our snarky adventure as we watch, discuss, and judge Hallmark Christmas movies. Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Bluesky.

We veered off the Hallmark path and straight into Netflix territory for Hot Frosty. Why? For you, for us, for snowmen everywhere. With Lacey Chabert in the mix, it's basically Hallmark-adjacent. The logic? Utterly absurd—and we couldn't look away. A snowman, born today years old, can read and talk (but doesn't know all the words). It's giving Kate & Leopold meets The Knight Before Christmas with a dash of Sabrina the Teenage Witch's man dough episode. We strongly suspect this town has more snowman-to-human husbands than it's letting on.   Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook and Instagram.

Back with another minisode, where we're ranking this weekend's holiday movies—Trivia at St. Nick's, Santa Tell Me, Tis the Season to be Irish—in our scientifically snarky tier system. From “annoyingly good” to “snoozefest,” we're here to break down which movies are worth your time, which are just watchable, and which are only good for the snark. Brace yourself for some fast and festive judgment. Ready, set, snark! Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook and Instagram.

Celeste is giving knock-off CCB vibes, with enough desperation and hyperfixation to make men scatter on sight. And then there's Max, a football coach with all the focus of a puppy—"What's that? A random reindeer fact? Naval historical fiction?" While she wasn't a character we could root for, we had to agree with her on buffet etiquette. This love may not be built to last, but hey, at least she got her new telescope. We were all in for the trivia, but by the third act, things really stalled (still don't understand how they justified that baking montage?). More Ruby and a few more prayers from the nun might have saved this one! Join us for Episode 8 of our snarky adventure as we watch, discuss, and judge Hallmark Christmas movies. Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook and Instagram.

Back with another minisode, where we're ranking this weekend's holiday movies—A Carol for Two, Our Holiday Story, and Holiday Mismatch—in our scientifically snarky tier system. From “annoyingly good” to “snoozefest,” we're here to break down which movies are worth your time, which are just watchable, and which are only good for the snark. Brace yourself for some fast and festive judgment. Ready, set, snark! Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and X.

Welcome to Someplace, Vermont, where straight people find every way to avoid talking about who they are or how they feel, and where $25 apparently saves 10 children—what a deal! This is a story of “when you know, you know,” except… when you don't, you still do? We had a lot of questions with this one, like, is the daughter trying to kill off her boyfriend by not telling anyone he has a fatal nut allergy? This might be the longest love story ever told, but certainly has the classic Hallmark Christmas feeling. Join us for Episode 6 of our snarky adventure as we watch, discuss, and judge Hallmark Christmas movies. Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and X.

Back with another minisode, where we're ranking this weekend's holiday movies—Operation Nutcracker, The Christmas Charade, and The 5-Year Christmas Party—in our scientifically snarky tiered ranking system. From “annoyingly good” to “snoozefest,” we're here to break down which movies are worth your time, which are just watchable, and which are only good for the snark. Brace yourself for some fast and festive judgment. Ready, set, snark! Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and X.

One of the most snarkable movies we've seen in a long time, featuring a top-five snarkable moment—a five-story, one-handed rope slide (rope burn, anyone?) into a Christmas inflatable. So many twists in this one our necks hurt (her parents were also FBI agents??). Tara learned she wouldn't make it as a spy due to her inability to pocket text—guess she'll have to stick to her Hallmark job as a librarian. And glad to know if we ever need to break into a 24/7 secure vault, all we need is a precisely timed gingerbread cookie delivery. This plot unravels if you look at it for more than a second, but it's so ridiculous you can't help but watch. Join us for Episode 4 of our snarky adventure as we watch, discuss, and judge Hallmark Christmas movies. Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and X.

It's the debut of our snark-filled minisode! This week, we're putting three holiday contenders—'Twas the Date Before Christmas, Holiday Crashers, and Scouting for Christmas—through the ultimate ranking test. From “annoyingly good” to “snoozefest,” we're dishing out the verdicts on what's worth watching, what's just watchable, and what's only good for a snark-fest. Brace yourself for some fast and festive judgment. Ready, set, snark! Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and X.

If you've ever wondered what Wedding Crashers would look like dipped in Christmas glitter and wrapped in a Hallmark bow, look no further. While Toni and Justin are two bland bananas, Justin's hair definitely deserves its own IMDb page. We're still not sure how he managed to get past all the lying—or maybe he's just really into F1 and doula role-playing. The real question is: what kind of credit card debt does Bri have, and does Vinny make enough to cover her shopping addiction? Join us for Episode 2 of our snarky adventure as we watch, discuss, and judge Hallmark Christmas movies. Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and X.

We're back and kicking off season six of Hallmark Snark with our very own Countdown to Christmas 2024 preview special. Join us on our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.  Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook and Instagram.

Ever thought, this science exhibit needs more Christmas? If so, and you're in Kansas, you must check out this hub-of-the-community planetarium featuring reindeer rockets, 90s clip art, and shopping mall NASA. Nothing says Kansas like curling. Join us for Episode 2 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.  Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

We are kicking off season five of Hallmark Snark with our very own Countdown to Christmas 2023 preview special. Join us on our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.  Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

One of the silliest and most fun movies we've seen from Hallmark. Still...we had some questions. Is a cul-de-sac the right place for a tree lighting or Christmas carnival? How long has Pamela lived in this neighborhood? Will Ned find a good therapist? How does a Santa sprain his lap?  Also, we share our week 5 movie rankings for Inventing the Christmas Prince, Three Wise Men and a Baby, When I Think of Christmas, and Long Lost Christmas. Join us for Episode 7 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.  Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

This was a movie made for the heteros. A thirst trap comedy with great comedic delivery and even less feminism. We laughed, we cringed, but overall we worried about the safety of the baby. Also, we share our week 4 movie rankings for In Merry Measure, The Royal Nanny, Christmas at the Golden Dragon, and Our Italian Christmas Memories. Join us for Episode 6 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.  Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

This one is for all the people who wished that Pitch Perfect had been a made-for-tv Christmas movie. We learn that high schoolers can sing in complex harmonies with no effort and a leading men can wear glasses. Also, we share our week 3 movie rankings for A Magical Christmas Village; Lights, Camera, Christmas; All Saints Christmas; and A Maple Valley Christmas. Join us for Episode 5 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.  Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com and follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

A woman is roped into working as a costume director on a movie set under questionable conditions and then turns down two other jobs with similarly questionable conditions. Hallmark is making fun of itself with this one! Join us for Episode 4 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.  Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Check out our latest rankings at HallmarkSnark.com

This one is all about the tea with CCB. Honestly, Lauren was lucky to get out before Andy's poor business decisions dragged her down. Erica, now knows the family secret and there's no getting out. I guess, that's Garland for ya!  Join us for Episode 3 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.  Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

The most sympathetic Scrooge of all time encounters dozens of jerks and one physics-defying bunny. Also, tampons? And we introduce our new tiered ranking system for the season! Join us for Episode 2 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.  Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

We are kicking off season four of Hallmark Snark with our very own Countdown to Christmas 2022 preview special. Join us on our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.  Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Snark Attack! Our leading female owns an unsuccessful toy store that's sinking into the ocean. She's betrayed by her friends who sell out to a man who works too much and has a shoplifting daughter. Sadly, there were no actual mermaids in this one.  Join us for Episode 6 of our snarky adventures into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.  Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

This movie had one of the biggest plot holes of all time and was an ad for the worst ancestry/DNA website in the world.  We were on the edge of our seats waiting to see how it would all be resolved. Spoiler - they just ignored the results. Who needs science when you have photographs and scanadian love? Join us for Episode 5 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.  Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Angie, a successful neurosurgeon, realizes she shouldn't have focused on her career of saving lives, but rather spending more time with her family at Christmas.  Luckily a time traveling train takes her back to common sense and the love of her life. Also, there's an actual Christmas magic worm hole in this one. Choo Choo!  Join us for Episode 4 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.  Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

This should have been a story about coyotes, but instead it was about marmots, lesbians, and parents who just want to retire.  Oh, and there was a man, Dylan, and a woman, Paige, who decided to go into business together and start dating after a week.    Join us for Episode 3 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.  Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Olivia can taste dirt and Jack doesn't believe in diversifying crops.  Together, these two tree heads save the town's Christmas tree lighting from our first true Hallmark villain and his twin henchman.  Side note - neither you or me were in this movie, so the title confused us a lot.  Join us for Episode 2 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.  Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

We are kicking off season three of Hallmark Snark with our very own Countdown to Christmas 2021 preview special.  Sadly there were not any Candy Cam Christmas balls this year.  Join us on our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.  Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Welcome back to part two of #TheSnarkies, a podcast award show honoring all the snarkiness of the Hallmark Christmas movie season with co-hosts Bad Christmas Movie Bingo. Join us this episode as we award winners for many hilarious categories such as Best Bad Christmas Movie Bingo Movie, FA-LA-LA-LA Fashion Fails, Problematic Props, and finally crown the viewers' and editors' choice winners for Most Annoyingly Good and Most Snarkable Movies of the season.Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.And be sure to check out badchristmasmoviebingo.com and follow them at @badxmasbingo on Twitter and Instagram.

Introducing #TheSnarkies, a podcast award show honoring all the snarkiness of the Hallmark Christmas movie season with co-hosts Bad Christmas Movie Bingo. Join us in this episode for part one of The Snarkies where we highlight the top snarkable moments of the season, reveal the most obvious COVID hair,  decide which Hallmark trend should retire, award longest movie title, and crown which Hallmark character is worst at work.Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.And be sure to check out badchristmasmoviebingo.com and follow them at @badxmasbingo on Twitter and Instagram.

In this royal holiday romp, everyone in the kingdom of Ancadia relearns a creepy and dark Christmas carol, while Lila teaches the future king, Whitaker, how to rule his land using a wishing horse.  Be sure to wait until the third time around on the carousel or your wish won't come true! Join us for Episode 17 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies. Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

When Cheryl goes back in the past, she fixes a Christmas tree topper and the love she never knew she always had. And all we have to say is poor Ms. Nelson. Join us for Episode 16 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies. Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

When we first heard that KFC and Lifetime joined together to create a mini movie we didn't think it was real.  It was and it was delicious.Join us for this ridiculous and tasty bonus episode as we meet Harland Sanders as played by Mario Lopez. Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. 

While we didn't get the cozy murder mystery the title suggestions, we are left wondering why Kayleigh picks a stalker boss over her ex, a high school sweetheart of 22 years (we did the math), even if he has commitment issues. Join us for Episode 14 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies. Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

If you found yourselves lost and confused in this made-for-TV Wizard of Oz Christmas romance, you are not alone.  In this episode we try to make sense of one of the most confusing Hallmark Christmas movies ever made.Join us for Episode 13 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies. Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. 

A retired park ranger runs a surprise inn into the ground, while his family puts on an immersive theater experience for their two guests.We are joined by @realdonnywood this week as we snark on Five Star Christmas.Join us for Episode 12 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies. Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

As the result of a head injury during a TWO-MILE, three-legged-wreath-race, Mr. Brian Bright miraculously falls in love with Christmas and his rigid co-host, Ms. Melissa Merry.And in honor of Snarksgiving week, we are joined by Tara's brother, Seth, and sister in-law, Caroline.  Nothing says family like lovingly snarking together.Join us for Episode 11 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies. Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Tara and Austin bring you their definitive rankings for both the Hallmark's Countdown to Christmas and Miracles of Christmas premieres.  Whether you need help deciding which movies to catch up or want to argue the veritable merits of The Angel Tree, there's something here for everyone.  From our home to yours, we wish you a very merry Snarksgiving! Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Let's be clear - We came for the gay and stayed for the magic.  We also humbly demand that Handsome Justice and Marvelous Jim get their own spin off shows.Join us for Episode 9 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies. Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

The hills are alive with the sound of Christmas Markets and imposter children.  You'll definitely want some strudel after watching this Rick Steves adventure through Vienna.Join us for Episode 8 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies. Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

An impulsive internet journalist is convinced that people would rather read about an old ring than take a quiz to find out which reindeer they are.  We rooted for the quizzes and sided with the "villainess" boss in this one.Join us for miniEpisode 7 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies. Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

After a woman clotheslines an unsuspecting man with a Christmas tree, she traps him in her guest house and they come up with the innovative idea to use "video chat" to bring people closer together.  Spoiler alert she definitely kisses a man in a christmas sweater in this one. Join us for Episode 6 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies. Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

App developers show us that extreme Christmas office decor is not safe and that there are a lot of #Hynies out there.  Also, meet Snowbow, the totally not terrifying Christmas Clown (trademark pending).Join us for miniEpisode 5 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies. Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

A plucky nurse/inn keeper's daughter eats a donut, and meets a grumpy prince, who suffers a footwear malfunction.  Meanwhile, the town's mayor and royal security guard are getting it on in the snow.  Join us for Episode 4 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

In this very special Snark Attack episode, Austin learns how to pronounce pianist, Tara declares her undying love for Luke MacFarlane, and we discuss Margot's thick hands.Join us for miniEpisode 3 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.

A Jingle Bell flower takes us to the Jingle Bell Festival with a Jingle Bell Princess who saves the Jingle Bell Bride.  Also, there's clearly a moose problem.Join us for Episode 2 of our snarky adventure into watching, discussing, and judging Hallmark Christmas movies.Follow us @HallmarkSnark on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.  Available on iTunes, Spotify, and Google Podcasts