Neurotic Tornado

We attempt a Q&A episode with various fake questions that lead us into a conversation about gardening, narcissism, and self-discovery. This the last episode of the season!

With my new novel launching on June 7th, we discuss stage fright, the book launch experience, and my nightmares about peeing. We also give Jackie Shannon Hollis a call (17 minutes into the show). She hosted this show in seasons 2 & 3, and released a fabulous memoir in 2019: This Particular Happiness (link). If you want more info about the Neurotic Tornado

We discuss my relationship to depression and anxiety over the years. Turns out that I used to date depression but now I'm hooking up with anxiety. So... yay??? To get more info about depression and anxiety: Tell Me All I Need to Know About Depression (Psycom.net link) Depression Definition and DSM-5 Diagnostic Criteria (Psycom.net link) How Can I Get Help for Depression? (Healthline.com link) Tell Me All I Need to Know About Anxiety (Psycom.net link) Do You Live with Anxiety? Here Are 11 Ways to Cope (Healthline.com link) If you want more info about the Neurotic Tornado

I suffer from chronic migraines. Every week I have to work through the ups and downs of how I feel. In this episode, my wife and I talk about how we manage our lives alongside my chronic pain. For some context, here are two YouTube videos I made about chronic pain: The Pain in My Head: the story of my chronic headaches Writing Through Pain: how I remain a chronic creator even with chronic pain Also, in the episode we reference the Spoon Theory (coined by writer Christine Miserandino). To learn more about this helpful metaphor, check out her original blog post (from 2003!). If you want more info about the Neurotic Tornado

We discuss my overactive sense of dread and foreboding, and why my sense of object permanence is only slightly better than a baby's. If you want more info about the Neurotic Tornado

Welcome back to the podcast after a long hiatus! In this episode, my wife visits me up in the attic to talk about obsessive thinking, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and why I'm capable of re-reading an already-sent email 87 times. Some related links: Measuring Obsessive-Compulsive Symptoms: Common Tools and Techniques (website) Obsessive Concerns Checklist (PDF) (fixed link) Compulsive Activities Checklist (PDF) If you want more info about the Neurotic Tornado

So I brought my wife on the show again after a FOUR-year hiatus to check-in about... relationshippy things. And then I lost the episode for THREE years. And so now, after a SEVEN-year hiatus, my wife and I talk about our marriage, and her counseling, and my ability to catastrophize. To those of you who are heroically still subscribed, I hope you enjoy this one-off episode. ❤️️

We conclude the Beyond Coupled season. We talk through what we learned. And we share an exciting update about Ben... We loved doing this season; we’re so appreciative that you joined us; we appreciate the honesty of the crew we interviewed; we’re even appreciative of the semicolon. But now we need to take a nap.

We dig a little more into the nature of their relationship. Some things we can immediately identify with, and some things we have to talk through...

In this podcast episode, Nikki, Ben, and Stevan start to define their relationship now that everything is out in the open. If you're just tuning in, be sure to go back to episode 31 for the beginning of the season: It was a good marriage, but...

We go with Nikki, Ben, and Stevan to therapy. This is the first therapy session with all of them at the table together. Find out what happens!......

We finally check in with Ben (the husband!) to find out how he learned about his wife's affair, and how he began processing it. Whew. Heavy stuff....

In this episode, we listen to Stevan and Nikki talk about their continuing affair. At this point, the affair is still a secret, but Nikki is preparing to tell her husband. I don't know about you, but I'm already starting to get chest pains...

In this episode, we meet Stevan. He is recently divorced when he meets Nikki, a married woman in a not-completely-happy marriage. Find out what happens next.

In this episode, we begin our quest into this season's relationship. Meet Nikki. She was mostly happy in her marriage, but there was one thing missing. Listen to the episode to find out what she was looking for...

Neurotic Tornado is (almost) back for season 3. In this ShOrT podcast episode, we tell you what's coming... and how we got to know the three people you're going to hear from...

We go back one last time to the four couples we interviewed to hear any wisdom, analysis, or advice they shared. We also rudely interrupt couples trying to eat at the Portland food carts to score any free advice. This is our last official episode of the season, but we may have some bonus episodes soon. And stay tuned for what is to come with season 3...

Jackie and I explore the non-traditional gender roles for two of the couples we interviewed. And we question what the labels mean in the first place. We look at attraction in this light. And I think I confess my attraction for a brooding vampire... If you haven't already done so, check out the previous episodes from this season, which dealt with sex, conflict, and started with introductions. Fun for the whole family! Actually, not the whole family… just the adults.

In this podcast episode (third in the Being Coupled season), Jackie & I... uhhh... actually... uhhh... try to talk about sex. With the couples we interviewed. And with our partners. But this stuff isn't easy. So we use a New York Times article about sex talk in therapy, along with a few other tools, to help navigate these sometimes-unsexy waters. After you listen to our conversation, check out the links below...

We dig into how the four couples we interviewed communicate with each other, and what arguments look like for them. We use research from the Gottman Institute as the basis for some of our ideas about relationships and the different personality types in a relationship. Except we simplify it down to 'avoider' types and 'prodder' types. Stick this episode in your ear for more info! No couples were injured during the making of this episode...

Jackie and I introduce you to the four couples we interviewed for this season. We share with you how they met and what they consider their "mission" as a couple. We had a great time putting this series together and we're excited to finally get this thing into your... ears. So here we go, the first episode of the series...

We go behind the scenes to explain what is coming in season two. Jackie Shannon Hollis and I interviewed four couples to prepare for this season. You'll hear why I'm doing it, why Jackie is doing it, and what my wife thinks about me podcast-cheating on her...

Jackie, Bill, and I discuss what it is like to write about the people we care about, and how it affects them. Jackie is currently working on a (second) memoir and I've written lots of autobiographical-sounding fiction (along with a few essays). So apparently we can easily BS about this subject for over an hour. (I edited it down to 65 minutes, though we spoke for longer!) It was again great to have Bill's perspective so he could chime in on how it felt to be written ABOUT, even in cases that weren't necessarily flattering. Give it a listen...

I talk to Jackie and Bill about a writer's need for alone time, and how that goes over with the writer's partner...

This is the fifteenth podcast episode my wife and I have done together. So in this episode, we talk about how the podcast has affected our relationship. It has caused some ups and downs, with more ups than downs. We also talk about how you too can reap the benefits of this experience, without having to be foolish enough to start your own podcast to discuss your relationship issues...

In this podcast episode, my wife and I talk about jealousy -- her jealousy of me and my jealousy of her. Although a certain amount of jealousy is allowed in our relationship, are we jealous enough???

In this podcast episode, my wife and I analyze why we both typically prefer to talk with women more than men. This isn't an across the board thing though -- we both have close male friends -- and so we try to untangle why it's that way. Hopefully no genders were harmed in the making of this podcast...

In this podcast episode, my wife and I actually try to talk about our sex life -- or at least our struggle with getting sex into our busy lives. WARNING: This discussion is not so sexy...

My wife and I talk about resentment. Or at least we try to talk about resentment -- a little bit of my resentment and a little bit of my wife's resentment. We bicker about our messy home. You'll also learn a brilliant (or horrifying) technique for saving time when folding (or not folding) your laundry...

In this podcast episode, my wife and I discuss vulnerability, shame, and my own craziness. We talk about Brene Brown's research and we talk about the essay I recently published (His First Dress). Join us for this delightfully vulnerable romp.

Yeah, you're just going to have to listen to this one to make sense of it. Sorry.

My wife and I talk about money. Or more specifically, we talk about our money problems. Or more specifically, we talk about our relationship problems that relate to our money problems.

My wife and I discuss something known as a repair attempt. It is a term coined by John Gottman. He is a psychologist who has done 40 years of research on relationships and marital stability and divorce prediction. A repair attempt relates to the way a couple tries to reconnect after a fight. Find out how well (or poorly!) we do with our repair attempts...

I talk to my wife about what it is like to be married to an insecure, angst-ridden, depressed person. Is it as sexy as it sounds? I was particularly insecure and full of anxiety in the first few years of our relationship and we talk about how that impacted our relationship. Join us for this delightful romp!

The wife and I discuss the impact of us getting together later in life, as a couple and as parents. Join us and let's get old together...

The wife and I take you on a tour of every one of our couples counselors. What could be more arousing than analyzing a whole bunch of analysts?

My wife and I recorded this podcast episode on Valentine's Day after having NOT celebrated V-Day, so it seems fitting that we talk about how unromantic we are. Though we end up finding romance in our marriage in less typical places. I again try (and fail) to pick a fight with her. I again get us to talk about Buffy the Vampire Slayer, even when it is off topic. I again worry if you're enjoying this ride with us...

I talk to my wife about our "dark period." Actually, she clarified for me that we have had several dark periods -- these are periods in our marriage where we have really struggled to connect, nearly to the point of it all falling apart. Not only do we talk about our dark periods, but we talk about my obsession about talking about our dark periods. And we talk about my (previous) fear of having kids. What's not to like?

I bully my wife onto the show. Listen to her talk about my various failings as a husband. Everything from my failures as a lawn mower-er to my inability to plan trips with the family to our combined attraction for Angel, the brooding vampire with a soul from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. What's not to like?