Podcast appearances and mentions of brene brown

From redefining “good” and “bad” habits to learning how empathy shapes teaching, Lesley and Brad recap their conversation with yoga teacher Anthony Benenati—founder of City Yoga, California's first Anusara studio, and now leads That's Not Yoga®. With over three decades of experience, Anthony has built a philosophy of meeting students where they are. Together they explore how ego, anger, and even curiosity can open the door to practice, and why the stories we carry and the language we use hold the power to shape growth. This episode invites you to pause, reflect, and ask: is this serving me?If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:How Anthony's teaching shaped his philosophy of fitting yoga to the students.Brad's early yoga mishaps and how they reframed his view of the practice.Feeling like an "outsider" in Pilates and how sharing built deeper connections.Why empathy is the real skill teachers need in guiding students.Why desire, knowledge, and action are the non-negotiables for growth.Episode References/Links:UK Mullet Tour - https://opc.me/ukP.O.T. Chicago 2025 - https://pilates.com/pilates-on-tour-chicagolandCambodia October 2025 Waitlist - https://crowsnestretreats.comeLevate Program - https://lesleylogan.co/elevateSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsAnthony Benenati's Website - https://thatsnotyoga.comGuilt vs. Shame by Brene Brown - https://brenebrown.com/articles/2013/01/15/shame-v-guiltTiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything by BJ Fogg - https://a.co/d/22NIHEI If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/ Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  There's a difference between saying something is bad and to lead to I'm bad, and asking yourself, is it serving me? If the answer is yes, fuck what people think. If it's a yes, and tomorrow it's a yes, and then the next week it's a yes, and then next month it's a no, then you make a change. Lesley Logan 0:22  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 1:05  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the authentic convo I had with Anthony Benenati in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that one, you've missed out. Brad Crowell 1:16  You definitely missed out. Lesley Logan 1:18  I don't like to go around saying you made mistakes, but you did.Brad Crowell 1:20  You did. Lesley Logan 1:24  You don't suck or anything, but, all right, before I get into that, today is August 28th 2025 and it is National Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day. And on this day, of course, it's gonna say Rainbow Bridge twice. So the death of a beloved pet, whether it's the family dog, a furry kitty, or something a little more obscure, is a sad occasion. Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day on August 28th is the day that we remember the pets that are no longer with us. Whilst the pain of losing a pet, you can't laugh while we're talking about dead dogs, babe, but we are laughing because Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day is a day we remember our pets. We got that from remembrance, you know, like we got it, okay, anyways. Whilst the pain of losing a pet somewhat heals over time, they're never forgotten, and today is their day. The day was founded by author Deborah Barnes as a way for people to share their memories of the pets that they have lost, whether it's a dog, a hamster or a snake, or, you know, anything in between. Oh, maybe this is the day that we maybe actually like say it. Brad Crowell 2:32  That's what I was thinking. Lesley Logan 2:34  Okay, well, do you want to say it?Brad Crowell 2:36  Yeah, I do. Also, I think it's great that it's in the month of August. Lesley Logan 2:40  I know it's like we knew. Brad Crowell 2:42  If you didn't know, Lesley and I have only one dog now, and it's been a couple of months that we lost August as well. And when I say as well, what I mean is last year, we lost Gaia towards the end of the year, and then about six months later, we also lost August, and that was really, really challenging, and not something that we talk about very often.Lesley Logan 3:08  I know well, because there's a difference, and I think that's what was important about this day. And like, if you needed this day, it's like, there's something it was something easier. I mean, it felt really hard at the time when we had to, like, make a day to say goodbye to Gaia, you know, like we, we knew for years the day was coming, and we could see it was time. And we had a different situation with August, where it was just like, oh. Brad Crowell 3:33  It was unexpected. It was sudden. Lesley Logan 3:35  This is happening to this is happening today, and that's, that, like, that's just not enough time for your brain to like, not that we miss him differently, but we, I do, like, it's just a different grief. It felt like a different grief. Brad Crowell 3:48  It felt like a different grief. I felt like with Gaia, I had a lot more opportunity to say goodbye ahead of time, you know. And then when when it was gone, it was fond memories. With August, it felt like shock and sadness.Lesley Logan 4:11  Yeah, yeah. I mean, with and with her, like, I felt like, okay, she's gonna be better. Because, like, she was just having a hard time being alive. And he was so young, so that just felt like it was it was hard, it was awful. We didn't talk about it, because there's when you when you share, that someone passes away, or a pet passes away, there's an outpouring of love because of this world we live in. Like, you can say what you want about the negative sides of social media. But the positive sides are like, insane. It's like, it's like the people from your life 10 years ago, and because people have had pets like, they feel it. When you lose a pet and you see someone like you feel that loss with them. Because you know what it feels like and like, in no way were we capable of handling any I'm sorry, like I couldn't and, like, even now we're getting teary eyed. So anyways, we have one amazing dog, and we, if you know this about OPC, well, all of our companies do a little donation to a charity. It's built into all of our products and our profit margins and OPC, this year, I chose a dog charity down because they get like, 500 animals, like, a week, and like, they're trying really hard to be a no kill shelter, and I, and we can't I, like, literally, look at dogs Brad, like, look at this one. Like, we're gonna, like, we're gonna take this on. And as much as, like, oh, that fills this hole. Then I'm, like, it doesn't fill the hole. So, like, anyways, National Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day to for from our hearts to all of yours who've lost a pet, it's so hard. So anyways, okay, so in other news. Brad Crowell 5:51  In other news.Lesley Logan 5:52  We are back from our tour, as you heard last time, but we are literally leaving in like four days to go to the U.K., and we opened up ala carte workshops, which means that if you can't take a whole day off with us, it's quite possible there is a spot left in a workshop. So we just took the day passes and allowed people to buy a workshop. So there might be one or two workshops that you can snag your spot. And so go to opc.me/uk because we're going to be in Essex and Leeds, and I don't know when we'll be back teaching in the U.K., but I know we're gonna be there now, and it's gonna be so much fun. There's some great workshops. There's some business ones, there's some Pilates ones. They're for people who like us and love us and just wanna learn with us who are really, absolutely amazing. So thank you to our hosts from The Movement Base and Chapel Allerton Pilates. Then we come back and like, two weeks later, we leave for Chicagoland. We're going to be at a Balanced Body's POT and I'm teaching the Joe's gyms there. Brad is going to have, like, Brad just now was helping me with the booth, and that's it's in Burr Ridge, but they call it Chicagoland, and I like that. And from Chicagoland, we're going to go to Cambodia. And you know what? We've had people last minute join us, like we said, you could join like, two weeks before. So, crowsnestretreats.com, if you are feeling ambitious and wanting to get the heck out of town because there's a lot going on and maybe you just want to take a break. So, crowsnestretreats.com. And then what? Brad Crowell 7:16  Well, we're actually working on lighting up a workshop and some classes in Singapore right now. Lesley Logan 7:21  I know. Brad Crowell 7:22  Which would be awesome. We'll see. You know, I would say at this point, if it hasn't come together, then we have a problem. If you're listening to this now, but right now we're working on it when we're recording this. So we're gonna say, yeah, it happened. It definitely happened. We got a workshop coming in Singapore.Lesley Logan 7:39  It's going to happen because, hello. I mean, it's not very often Singapore that I have a layover during daylight hours. Brad Crowell 7:44  That's right. Lesley Logan 7:44  And so we're gonna make there's people who want it.Brad Crowell 7:46  It's gonna be awesome, yeah. But anyway, we've been looking at different venues right now, and we're lining it all up. So yeah. And then after we get back from Singapore, we actually are home for about a month, which is quite nice to to chill out. We some family coming into town, and then we go on our winter tour for OPC, where we're driving another 8000 miles this year. Last year, we did 8200 over the winter. This year is going to be less miles more stops. Oh, yeah. Lesley Logan 8:20  Okay. Brad Crowell 8:21  Less miles, more steps, but it's gonna be awesome. We are stoked. Lesley Logan 8:24  You know what's really funny, guys? Okay, so the team, like, I see the map, I see where we're going, I give some inputs on some places. I'm like, yeah, I'll do that, whatever. But then they don't actually always tell me, like, all the events we're doing. So like, this week, all the private events that, because, like, studios that host us can also, like, hire us for an event, just for their team, right? So there's a public class and a public workshop, and then sometimes there's a private workshop. And apparently there's a lot more than workshops that I thought on the summer tour. So I am interested to see this winter tour. I expect lots of gifts and lots of hugs, but we'll announce the winter tour in October. So if you are in Cambodia with us, you'll hear it all announced. Brad Crowell 9:03  Yes, you will. Lesley Logan 9:04  Okay before we get into Anthony's incredible episode. What is the question of the week?Brad Crowell 9:10  Yes, great. So I don't actually know how to say this, netamenashe, yeah, netamenashe. there you go, on Instagram, she asked, Hey Lesley, do you do any Zoom sessions sometimes? Lesley Logan 9:27  Sometimes I do. Brad Crowell 9:28  Sometimes.Lesley Logan 9:29  That's true. Yeah. Who gets them? It's gonna sound like I'm an asshole, but the people who get Zoom sessions with me are people who are in my mentorship program, to be completely honest. I don't have a lot of hours in a week that I can teach because of we run OPC, you run Profitable Pilates, you know, and we do have the mentorship program, so the limited times that I have are for those in that program. And then sometimes OPC members get access to that calendar. But basically, as you can hear, no one publicly gets access to those things. So as much as I love to teach the world on Zoom, that the way I can do that is through OPC actually, because we have a monthly live class, and I can look, we can hang out afterwards, and I can look at your form. I can answer your questions. You don't even have to come to the live class when I look at your form, you can submit videos, and I can give you feedback. So if you're wanting me to give you feedback on some exercises, be an OPC member. If you're a teacher, you can go through eLevate we only have a few spots there, where OPC, it's obviously as many people. Brad Crowell 10:28  Open to the world. Lesley Logan 10:28  Open to the world and. Lesley Logan 10:29  But yeah, I mean, with eLevate, if you, if you're actually looking for a specific feedback on your practice and you want to really grow, Neta, you should be considering eLevate. It's for teachers. It's a nine-month program. It's like, consider it like going and getting a master's degree somewhere. It's very in depth, in in in what it covers. It's going to run through everything that Lesley learned from Jay Grimes, who studied with Joe. So you're going to be covering 500 exercises. It's going to be amazing. During that time, your your personal practice will significantly grow, and you'll also have, Lesley will be, you know, watching your practice during those nine months, too. So that's like, the best way to make that happen. Just reach out, or go to lesleylogan.co/elevate and or you can book a call. I'm super happy to hop on a call and just say, what's up, you know.Lesley Logan 11:21  I mean, I it's like a it's a great problem to have. And I actually used to teach this long I've been teaching online. I used to teach on Skype, and I used to teach people all over on Skype. Brad Crowell 11:30  2015, '16, '17 Skype.Lesley Logan 11:33  Yeah, Skype, oh, my God. Or sometimes Facebook, sometimes Facebook Messenger, because Skype wasn't working, or whatever, like, it was so, but I was, like, anything that has a video I can teach on it. And, you know, but, yeah, I think, like, we do have some great opportunities to work together in person between the tours and Cambodia, and then the online stuff is, you know, you I all love. Brad Crowell 11:56  That's another great one. You could come with us to Cambodia, Neta, where you'll be doing five classes with Lesley during the retreat. And obviously, you know, it's, it's not a large group. So you can come there and be in person. Lesley Logan 12:10  Yeah. So you guys send in your questions. You can, like, you'll literally hear honest feedback and answers. And we love answering them. Like, I just, I want, I want, I want I want questions about your wedding, I don't know. Like, give me some good ones. Go to beitpod.com/questions to submit them, or text us at 310-905-5534, it doesn't yet mean Be It Pod, but we're getting to.Brad Crowell 12:34  No it's not gonna mean Be It Pod anytime soon. So I love that your wishful thinking here it's, you know, low on the list.Lesley Logan 12:41  Being it till I see it. Brad Crowell 12:43  Lower on the priority list. Lesley Logan 12:47  All right, all right. Brad Crowell 12:49  Love you. Lesley Logan 12:49  Love you too.Brad Crowell 12:51  Stick around. We'll be right back. We're gonna dig into one of my really dear friends who I've now known for more than a decade, and he he's just inspirational in multiple ways, being a yogi, but also, you know, he's a philosopher too. So cannot wait to dig into this convbo that you have with Anthony Benenati. You're really going to enjoy. If you haven't already gone back and listened to that, you should, but yeah, looking forward to it. Stick around we'll be right back. Brad Crowell 13:19  Right. Let's talk about Mr. Anthony Benenati. A professional yoga teacher with over 32 years of experience. Before stepping into yoga, Anthony served in the Air Force and worked in a comp as a competitive power lifter. I don't know if he worked at it, but he was a competitive power lifter, which left him with shoulder and knee injuries. In fact, you know, he he told me when he was younger, he couldn't even touch his toes, you know, and today he's like, you know, obviously been doing yoga for three decades. He founded City Yoga, which was California's first on a Sora studio, and he now leads, That's Not Yoga. That's his website, thatsnotyoga.com. He he's actually also done a lot of business stuff, and like because he sold studios and then he taught for other people, and he's done workshops and holds retreats, all sorts of stuff. Anthony's philosophy is to fit yoga to the student, making sure the practice leads to transformation and healing, not to suffering. And he teaches students to listen to their bodies every day, meeting themselves where they're at, with their openness and compassion, and yeah I think that is a really great summary of, you know, who he is. But I would also say he rides a motorcycle, he drinks beer, he curses. He's fucking cool and hip, and that's one of the things that that I connected with him the most about is because I had this preconception of what's a yogi. Lesley Logan 14:45  I mean, your first class was, like a per tip, like a bit like, like the typical yoga instructor, like this little, soft spoken older lady.Brad Crowell 14:52  No, no, no, no, no. I had my well, so that, so that was the first teacher that I actually learned from, and she was super sweet and nice. But yes, the class was literally for, like, elderly people. And I was like, teach me the foundations. And I liked the class because she let her students ask questions during class. And I was like, I don't understand this pose. How does it work? And it effectively was like. Lesley Logan 15:14  In case you haven't noticed, Brad, you guys, Brad literally interrupts all classes to ask questions. Like, like, all classes, he has questions. He comes on the retreat, and he'll just pop into a class, and then he's got a question. It's like, we actually talked about that yesterday, and you missed class. But okay.Brad Crowell 15:29  So, but my very first class was hilarious, because I'm like, you know, my nickname in yoga class was shark boy, or Mr. Bendy, and I, I've just been I'm a hyper mobile body, so naturally flexible. And I get to my first yoga class ever was a Groupon that I bought, and I showed up for class, and I'm in the middle of, like, 30 or 40 people, and I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I'm watching this guy up in the front, you know, do all the things. And I was like, okay, we're sticking our arm over there. We're shooting, our leg over this way. We're twisting and blah, blah, blah. And at the end of the class, he came up to me, he's like, wow, man, you have a great practice. And I was like, this is my very first class. And it was like, what? And I was like, yeah. And then I left the studio, and I walked out to my motorcycle, and I could not get onto it. Lesley Logan 16:16  You did way too much. Brad Crowell 16:17  Because I hurt myself so bad that I literally had to sit there for like an hour just for my back to not be screaming at me. And I was like, well, yoga is not for me. And I just was like, I'm done. And then I never, you know, like, I never went back, and I, but I, but I had that Groupon right? And so anyway, somehow I ended up using it. And I bought another package somewhere with Anthony, because the studio was convenient and but I only want. Lesley Logan 16:46  Your first class wasn't with Anthony. Brad Crowell 16:47  No, no, my first class was not with Anthony. But like, a year or two later, I was like, I'm gonna give this another try. And I did buy, like, a 10 pack at Anthony's studio, and I use, like, and he didn't have an expiration on it, right? So, and I, but I only use, like, two classes. And then I didn't know yoga for like, years. And then there was a point where I was like, I need to go. I need to go back to class. And I, I called the studio. Had, he had sold it and, you know, so I, I went. I was like, hey, I had this package with the old studio, you know, you know. And I wasn't even taking with Anthony. I had been taking with that lady, that older lady, lady, but I still had packages. It just so happened to be Anthony's studio. I didn't know that, yeah. So when I went back, Anthony was the teacher, and that's how I first met him. And I was like, who the hell is this guy? He's awesome. This is rad and that and then I was like, hooked. I was in. This is probably like, 2014. So I've been dabbling in yoga for like, maybe three years, but not really.Lesley Logan 17:46  I love how two or three times in two years is dabbling.Brad Crowell 17:50  Yeah. Well, with the with the older with the with the older lady, whose name I don't remember, and I feel bad about that. I probably went, you know, I bought a few 10 packs, you know, I went a few times.Lesley Logan 18:00  Okay, it wasn't clear that there's a multiple 10 pack. Brad Crowell 18:02  Yeah. Sorry, sorry I went a few times, like, I had enough foundation (inaudible). Lesley Logan 18:05  Every time I've heard this story it has always had, like, one 10 pack, and it's like, you get a couple of times it's not dabbling.Brad Crowell 18:12  Oh, I went, I went, yeah, I went enough to, like, decide that yoga wasn't gonna hurt me if I knew what I was doing. But, you know, I didn't actually, like, it didn't turn it into a habit or a practice. I just went a few times, and then, you know, it wasn't until, you know, a year later that I went back to redeem the rest of my package that, studio had sold. I didn't even know it. And I was like, well, they're gonna honor it. I already have classes. I'll just go there. And then I happened to pop into a class that was Anthony's, but, wow, that was a long story that has nothing to do with anything. Lesley Logan 18:45  Speaking of Anthony. Brad Crowell 18:45  Yeah, let's shift on, like from your convo, which was deep. Lesley Logan 18:50  It was deep. I knew it would be, I know it'd be so good, but I think for all the teachers, no matter what you teach, this is a really great thing. Anthony says he believes that the most effective teacher is someone who understands how people get to the practice. Brad Crowell 19:03  Well, you just found out. Lesley Logan 19:05  Yeah, well, but like, right, right, but like, I think this goes to, you know, we coach a lot of Pilates instructors, and they're like, I want to work with an advanced person. All they want to do is lose weight, and it's like, right? And we don't want you to lie to people, but you have to understand what gets people to the practice, so that you can have empathy for them being a beginner, because they should be allowed to be a beginner, and we can't, we don't want them to feel shame for what they think they want in their life, because that's a compilation of years of stories and influence good or bad to, and in the conversation we talked about, there's no such thing as good or bad, but like to to someone. And so how can you really have a lived experience, so that you can in whatever it is you're teaching, so that you can come from a really great place, an honest place, and and be human, you know, like, I think a lot of instructors put themselves upon pedestals, cult leaders and and forget that like you are also in practice when you teach something, that's a practice, right? And so he also said empathy is such an important factor to be a great teacher, you have to put yourself in their shoes. And this is something like, look, of course, I have days where I get tired and I'm like, why don't they just fucking relax and stop trying to be perfect, like I don't understand, like, I'm fucking just, just relax, just be in practice. But also, I know what that is like. I know why they can't do it. I know that they have years of like, being for whatever, like somebody told them that it had maybe the perfection is because it kept the house safe. You know, there's so many different reasons why people seek perfection. They want certainty. They want control, you know.Brad Crowell 20:47  Yeah, I mean, it could be a response from uncertainty in another area of their life, where they feel like this is where I can have certainty, because I know exactly how it's supposed to be, you know. And then, and then it becomes this thing. Lesley Logan 21:00  Yeah, but when I when I like, so when I catch myself, because sometimes, like, I'm like, and it's like, oh, wait, hold on a second. We've like, I've been here. So what, what was I going through? And what actually got me to, like, let go of that and get back in that empathy, because it actually is what helps guide people on the path to being more themselves, to connecting to themselves, to having a personal practice. So it was just like.Brad Crowell 21:25  Yeah. Anthony was talking about his ego was the thing that brought him to the practice. Because he was like. Lesley Logan 21:31  Which would just be the irony of yoga. Brad Crowell 21:33  Yeah. And I'll tell you, it was actually anger that brought me to the practice and. Lesley Logan 21:39  I do went to yoga with you because I thought you're cute. I mean I was going to yoga already, and I was like, Ookay, I'll go to that class with him, because he's cute.Brad Crowell 21:48  bBut, but I was angry that I couldn't do it, and that was also ego. But like, I was angry. I was angry outside. I was angry at my ex, right? And I was angry that I couldn't figure it out. And I was angry that my I was just angry. And then when I when I knew was that, after I had beat the shit out of myself in a yoga class, I felt better. Like, ironically, you know, and like, if you know, talk about controlling, like I wanted every single answer to every every possible understanding of the movement, you know, and then, and then there was stuff that I was like, couldn't do. And it generally like, ironically, I was flexible, but I wasn't flexible enough in my own mind. And I definitely wasn't strong. And, you know, I think that anger, like, pushed me through the strength training barriers of where I was, like, I need to be able to hold this pose for whatever, 10 seconds, I don't know, like, whatever it was like. And it was like, I mean, I'm glad I didn't hurt myself, to be honest, you know, during it. But it was, you know, it took me a solid six months to enjoy the practice, you know, because I was just frustrated at everything.Lesley Logan 23:04  Yeah, I think, like, had you come to it for a different way, you might, like, it would might have been a different thing, but maybe you didn't, wouldn't have practiced that hard. Like, I think, I think that's what the point is. Like, what if we allowed our journey to whatever it is just be that, I think a lot of people want to change the past. They want, they want it to be a different way that they got into something. I remember, like, how I got into Pilates. I thought it was BS, and I remember not telling anyone that story for years, like I was so embarrassed that I actually thought that that Pilates was a gimmick, you know, I really was. I was like, oh. And then also on top of that, because when I became a Pilates instructor, people, most of the teachers were dancers. So here I was one of the few in my world, not in the world, but in my world, L.A., that was a non-dancer, and I thought it was bullshit, you know, like I was just like, I'm just gonna just, I'm just gonna bend back, I'm in the back, and no one's gonna know. But then I realized, like, actually, like, how I got to Pilates is probably how a lot of people think about Pilates. And what if I actually just, like, lean into the empathy of that, and it might actually allow more people to come to the practice, because then they don't feel stupid or silly or weird for thinking it's, it's, you know, not gonna work, you know? And it found, the more I talked about how I wasn't a dancer, the more teachers were like, I'm not one either. And then made them feel good. And so, like, what if we all just own the story that we have? It might actually make us all have more community and connection to different people.Brad Crowell 24:33  Yeah. I mean, it makes you relatable, you know, makes makes as a teacher, it makes you relatable when you're willing to, you know, share the things that it's I think, you know, there's always over-sharing can be wrong. But like, I think it's hard to know what will be received well. And so I feel like that there's fear there, and that's why you know, you're like, man, I shouldn't share that. But then, like, when you know if and when you do, it's like, oh, you know, like, well, I'm not alone in this, and other people are probably also not sharing, and now they feel permission to, you know, commiserate or connect, or, you know, makes them feel better about themselves, too. So, yeah. Lesley Logan 25:12  Yeah. Love it. Okay, what did you love? Brad Crowell 25:13  Yeah, so I loved this idea of good and bad. You know, he said yoga doesn't actually see things as good and bad. It's not like you have a good practice or a bad practice, or you're a good yogi or a bad yogi, you know. He said that yoga kind of sees things more in the does it work, or is it not working? You know? And he was talking about the specifically, like, when, when we were talking about this, it was more talking about habits. You know, it's like, the habit is there, whether it's a quote, unquote, good habit or a bad habit. You know, we're taking that and setting that aside instead. It's a, you know, how is this habit serving me? Is it, is it working for me, or is it not working for me, right? And specifically you were like, maybe you get frustrated that you sit there and scroll on Instagram all day long, but maybe you can see that as a good thing, because you actually need a moment to to just like, not think, right?Lesley Logan 26:12  Yeah, yeah. We also mean, we talked about, like, some people would say it's bad to drink, but like, if it if, if that drink made you that drink made you relax and connect with your family. Like, is it bad and and I think, like, is it wrong? So I've heard that this before, and a couple different things, obviously, like, there are things that cannot be great for you, but you, the difference is, like, is it serving you? Is it serving you? And it's okay for something to serve you and not serve somebody else. Brad Crowell 26:43  Or what is coming from it that could be serving you, right? Like, it might not be the thing that is serving you like, like the alcohol itself might not be beneficial, but the quality time that you spent with family when consuming the alcohol that is worth doing, right, you know? So, there's, I still, I still love the idea that like everything in moderation, including moderation, you know.Lesley Logan 27:08  Well, I think the point is, because I think about Brene Brown, she's gone in my head a couple times in this conversation, guilt versus shame is her thing, right? Like, I think some people shame themselves. I had a drink last night, versus, like, I spent time with my family and I had a drink, and I love spending time with my family. I don't love I had the drink, but when I had the drink, it let me forget about the work that I had so I could spend time with my family. So I do need to figure out a way to get to forget about work so I can spend time my family. But we don't have to have shame around the drink, because, you know, and I think that's where it's like, we have to be kinder to ourselves. I think people just walk around. I mean, it's on the internet, right? People just shame people all the time. That's bad. That's wrong. You did that wrong. Like, no one is going way to go, like, you know, when's the last time you told a stranger (inaudible). Brad Crowell 28:00  We definitely celebrated with OPC. I was gonna, I was gonna circle this right back around to your Pilates practice or your yoga practice, because when I first got into yoga, that was how I treated myself. I'm not good enough. I'm doing it wrong. I'm not doing it well. It's, it's not good, like I'm not a good yogi. And I was judging myself, but I was angry. I was angry at myself. I was angry at the world, you know, and like, you know, but I knew that, like physically, my body, like you ever felt like, you ever felt like so frustrated you just have to go run? You ever felt like that, where like running is somehow going to like be the thing, I and, like, that was that was like, you know, because you get that endorphins release and all that stuff, and that was what I was looking for without really understanding it, I just knew that I felt better after class, you know, and because I was also more relaxed and, like, my mind wasn't like, freaking out all the time, you know, at that point. But it still took time for me to like, took years for me to stop judging my own practice and like the idea that.Lesley Logan 29:14  But I think going back to like, there's a difference between saying something is bad and to lead to I'm bad, and asking yourself, and if we could just catch ourselves now, because this is why I love this conversation. Is it serving me? If the answer is yes, fuck what people think. If it's a yes, and tomorrow it's a yes, and then the next week, it's a yes, and then next month, it's a no. Then you make a change, but. Brad Crowell 29:44  Sure, you can make a choice. Lesley Logan 29:45  But I think some people are using judgment on good or bad, on things that are serving them, and then they're fucking stuck, like if you had not gone to yoga because I'm bad. It makes me feel like, you know, so I'm not, like, yoga would become the thing that's wrong. And then, like, you know what I mean? So like, is it serving me? It's serving me to go because I'm angry, and I can be angry, and it's serving me, and then all of a sudden, the anger at yoga no longer served you, and you let it go. So I think, like, there's a couple different ways to see this. Brad Crowell 30:20  Or the anger at me is no longer serving me. Lesley Logan 30:22  Yeah, so you had to let it go. So I think, what if we could all stop? If you and this is something we can catch ourselves doing here at this household, you and me together, but also, like our coworkers, your friends, like, if you go, oh, I know it's bad that I do this, hit, pull, that rubber band. Is it serving me, that I do this, right? Is it serving me that I do this? And if you can honestly say yes, then let the fucking guilt go, because it's not helping you. Brad Crowell 30:48  You said pull that rubber band? Lesley Logan 30:50  You know, you have a rubber band on your wrist. Brad Crowell 30:52  Yeah, yeah. Snap it. Lesley Logan 30:53  Snap it. Brad Crowell 30:54  Like, hit the reset button. Yeah, you know. And, and it's, you know, that he took it a little bit differently in the conversation, because he's, you know, he was talking about all things serve a purpose, even if we look at it and say that's bad, you know? Because, you know, he said we wouldn't know love without hate, joy without pain. Lesley Logan 31:18  I can think of a few people that I could still think the world's a better place if they weren't in it. I'm just gonna say, we all know, but like, I get the point.Brad Crowell 31:27  Perspective, right? It allows us to actually understand what we have in our world that is amazing, you know, because we can also see, oh, damn, I definitely that is not amazing over there. You know? You know that that's not giving that's not that is not working. That would not work for me, right? I mean, yeah, that wouldn't work for me. So, you know, it's a, he said, it's a balance, you know, and it's and each scenario you find yourself in, you can find that balance between, you know, is it working for me or not working for me? Or is it the good and the bad? You know, how can it be working for you? Lesley Logan 32:04  I mean, you know, I love it because, like BJ Fogg always said, there's no such thing as bad habit. Every habit you have is serving some function. Now, there might be habits you don't like or are no longer serving you, but they're a habit. But there, you cannot say there's a bad habit, because it is providing something in your brain that's kicking off a dopamine otherwise your brain wouldn't seek doing it.Brad Crowell 32:24  Right. Yeah, yeah. I always thought about that too with, like, food, you know, there's something, even if it's like, quote, unquote, bad habit of, like, eating all the time, or, like, maybe you have, like, a consistent, like, I eat late, or whatever, and you know that it's like, not physically helping you. There's still something in your head that's like, I need that thing, whatever that thing is, you know, I need that glass of orange juice, you know, I need the sugar, you know. Lesley Logan 32:49  Well, because it could be, it brings re lief, right? It's distraction, it might calm you down. There's so many different things that our habits do. So if there's something that you feel no longer serves a purpose in your life, right, you have to explore that and not judge that. I'm going to do a whole series on habits, actually, so we can continue this conversation on this like it's now an eight episode series I'm going to do about habits. Brad Crowell 33:19  Really? Lesley Logan 33:19  Oh, Brad has no idea. Brad Crowell 33:20  What? Tell me more. Lesley Logan 33:22  Yeah, oh, my God, I'm doing a whole episode, a whole series on my. Brad Crowell 33:25  On where? Lesley Logan 33:26  On the pod. I'm just taking over and not interviewing people for a few weeks. And I'm gonna tell you how to fucking do a habit. And we're also talking about unraveling habits that no longer serve you. Brad Crowell 33:35  All right, you heard it here first, y'all, surprise. Lesley Logan 33:37  So the thing the homework from this episode is just start taking notice of things, you know, the habits you have, the routines you have that no longer serve you. And we can bring that to the series, which will come out, I think it's going to come out either in December or January, so.Brad Crowell 33:55  Cool. All right, that's really fun. We'll stick around. We'll be right back. We're going to dig into those Be It Action Items that you covered with Anthony, which were also fantastic. So yeah, stick around we'll be right back. Brad Crowell 34:07  Welcome back. Let's dig into those Be It Action Items that you had.Lesley Logan 34:13  You guys, I am notorious, like, I'm notorious, like, yeah, I'm ready. And then I just looked down, and he's like, just wants me to look at the camera when he says welcome back. So I'm sorry, everyone here we are. Welcome back. Brad Crowell 34:24  Welcome back. Lesley Logan 34:24  Say it with him. What bold, ex, you're not gonna say it with me? What bold, executable, intrinsic or targetedBrad Crowell 34:31  Action items can we take away from your convo with Anthony Benenati?Lesley Logan 34:35  Just so you know, I always fade out, even when you sing Happy Birthday, because I can't. I don't like how I sound. Okay. I'm going first, babe, here we go. I'm taking away because I there's just too many things I loved. So he said, he states that it's important that we actually we focus on three things when you want to do things that you want to do. So first of all, to do anything you want to do, you have to actually have the desire to do it. If you don't have the desire to do it, you won't put the effort forward. Has anyone ever said like, oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna learn Spanish, and then you don't learn Spanish. So you have to have the desire to do it. This is, we're gonna talk about this in the Habit Series. I love it. Knowledge. You have to learn to do it. He actually said just doing something without knowing how to do it can cause you harm. This is very true. You have to actually learn how to do it. I'm actually trying to learn how to do tarot, because I like want to, we have a Ttarot episode coming out, and I like, want to understand how to like, do it better. And I want a tarot is a personal relationship with yourself. It's asking yourself questions. And I want to have, I don't want to do it wrong. I want to have a really good understanding of it before I start journaling and pulling cards. And really like doing it for real. And then third is action. Then you simply have to do it. But beyond doing it just once, you must commit to doing over and over and over again to create meaningful change. And I love this so much. We have to be okay with being beginners, are we okay for having, like, being on a journey of learning, and then you just keep doing it. And it's really amazing how when you do that, it's like there's deeper levels of everything that we do, and it's just so good. I am loving, I love this, love, I love this triad. Okay, Brad.Brad Crowell 36:12  Yeah, I think that that idea of desire, knowledge and action is so obvious, but we often will skip one of the steps. Lesley Logan 36:24  Sometimes people skip desire. Brad Crowell 36:26  That's what I'm saying. Lesley Logan 36:27  It's terrible, like, that's a bad one. Brad Crowell 36:28  I'm doing it because I have to, or I'm doing it for somebody else, but really, you don't fucking want to, and so it actually sets you up to fail from the gate, right? Because what's gonna happen, you're gonna you're gonna do it, and it's gonna build frustration or resentment, you know, or like you mentioned with step two, if you skip knowledge, you could hurt yourself. And then, you know, there's step three, which is actually being consistent with it. You can have the desire to learn. You could even learn how to do it. But then if you don't do it.Lesley Logan 37:03  Right, right, because you, because some people won't do things because they're they're too new at it, you know. Okay, your Be It Action Items, your takeaways.Brad Crowell 37:11  Okay, so he was talking about being careful with language, and you mentioned this too, right? How your body actually learns, your body responds to the way that you think and the things that you say impact, you know, like, what you think is what you're going to say, and what you think your body is also going to do. Lesley Logan 37:32  Your body's not going to go rogue on you.Brad Crowell 37:34  Right. So, for example, you were talking about, you know, oh, I'm never, I never lose weight, or I'm never gonna get stronger or, you know, or I was thinking about just this, just the other day, I had somebody come, you know, we had somebody come to our place, and we were just taking photos, and the person said, oh, no, no, no, no, no, that's my bad side. And then shifted to the other side of the photo so they could get it. And I was like, that's like, I mean, of course, we've all heard that and like, it sounds like so Hollywood, but it's also, you know, like, that's a shame.Lesley Logan 38:13  Well, also, because you it just you have confirmation bias. You actually always see the thing that you're saying is bad, but your body listens. If you say you have a weak arm, your body's not gonna go let me show you how strong I am. No, it's just not gonna happen, and you'll treat it that way. So I really, I really think language, being careful with it, is something we could all pay attention to.Brad Crowell 38:34  Yeah and then the other side of it, too is let's say you have the desire and the action, the knowledge, I mean, and you're putting it into action, the way that you put it into action today might be different than the way you put it into action yesterday, right? And I think I had, especially with my yoga practice, never fully embraced this idea, ever. So for 10 years, I was like, I can always go further than I did the day before. That's just the way I always looked at it. It wasn't until I started lifting weights that I truly looked at it like, I just can't today, whatever, whatever, like, like, if last week I did 150 pounds, I just feel like, wimpy today, I'm not going to be able to do it and I and I could actually hurt myself.Lesley Logan 39:28  Yeah, that's why my trainer has me on a deload week because it's important for your central nervous system to, like, think things are a little easier. Can't always be building, building, building. You have to calm it down, yeah, so it's, it's so true, like our the way we approach things has to be different if we're listening to our body. Brad Crowell 39:47  Yeah and, you know, so yeah, listening to your body, being careful with your language, being willing to, being willing to, not, you know, whatever, reach the goal or hit the to be the epitome of the pose or, you know, in our in my case, it was often handstand, you know, when it was yoga, or for lifters, it's like, I gotta hit my max. Last max was, you know, this, so I gotta hit, I gotta at least hit that and then more, right, like, being willing to be like, okay, maybe right now it's okay if it's different, you know.Lesley Logan 40:24  Yeah, it's interesting how, like, some of those things, just you'd learn with age, but also.Brad Crowell 40:27  I think with age and also, like death. I never felt like I was gonna hurt myself in yoga. I never felt like I could crush my skull. Like, if you're benching and you have too much weight, your body could slip and fail, and you could have 150 pounds crashing on your body like, that was, that was the moment where I was like, oh, okay. Lesley Logan 40:47  So there it is, Anthony. We should have just probably go how to teach Brad he could have died, get a fucking broken his neck. Oh, my God. Okay, now we know. Well, I.Brad Crowell 40:59  But also that's translated, you know, like, I it took me an opportunity to learn, and then, you know, now, when I'm going back into my yoga practice, it's, doesn't have to be like, to the nth degree every single time.Lesley Logan 41:12  Yeah, I just show up. Like, that's where I'm at. I'm like, I'm really enjoying just showing up. So glad I get to do that. I'm like, I'm here today.Brad Crowell 41:20  I also feel a lot stronger, too, and less flexible. And I acknowledge that. Lesley Logan 41:25  You're no longer a shark boy. Brad Crowell 41:26  No. I mean, I don't think so. I'm still flexible, but I'm not like I was like before. Lesley Logan 41:31  You have mobility. Brad Crowell 41:32  Yeah, but I could put my foot behind my neck not in front of my head.Lesley Logan 41:35  I know, but you have but we need strength as we get older, it's really fucking hard to put it on. Anyways, I just this whole episode has so many gems I really enjoyed, like, reliving it. I think it's one that's worth going back to. And I think it's got, it's got a takeaway you might listen to differently each time you hear it. So, listen to it again. And I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 41:57  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 41:58  Thanks for listening. I want to hear reviews. I want to hear takeaways. I want your fucking questions. Send it in to beitpod.com/questions, also your wins. I want your wins. I want a lot. Okay, I want a lot. Brad Crowell 42:09  Yeah. We want it all. Lesley Logan 42:10  Yes, I can't I'm not gonna sing a song for you. Until next time, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 42:14  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 42:16  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 42:59  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 43:03  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 43:08  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 43:15  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 43:18  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

There's a humility you carry like baggage, and it's slowly wearing you down. This week, Dr. Les Parrott and Judah Smith join me to dismantle the false humility that masquerades as godliness while laundering shame. Humility becomes self-hatred when vulnerability is avoided and spiritual high-mindedness is mistaken for healing. Layer on top the epidemic of spiritual bypassing—pretending everything is okay—and you get a reluctance to ever speak pain. We unpack why your job is not to heal publicly, how real accountability looks different than performance, and why refusing to stay in the box of pretense is the most subversive spiritual act you can commit. Whether you've preached from the platform or hidden behind faith walls, this episode cuts through your shame fortress and lights a path to emotional and spiritual freedom. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

Are you always the one saying yes — even when you want to say no? If you're constantly putting everyone else's needs before your own, you might be stuck in the people pleasing trap — and it could be rewiring your brain in dangerous ways. In this episode, I share how chronic people pleasing not only impacts your emotional well-being but may also put your cognitive health at risk.What to Listen For[00:02:10] How social connections reduce dementia risk — and why quality matters more than quantity[00:04:00] The childhood experience that rewired Amy's brain to prioritize others over herself[00:06:30] The anxious loop people pleasers live in: scanning for approval and avoiding rejection[00:08:10] The advice from a mentor that changed everything: “No is a complete sentence”[00:09:20] Why people pleasing is a form of self-abandonment[00:10:30] The fawn response: how appeasing others is a trauma-based coping mechanism[00:11:50] The neurological impact of people pleasing: cortisol, hippocampal shrinkage, and memory loss[00:13:15] Brene Brown's distinction between “fitting in” and “true belonging” — and how it applies to brain health[00:15:40] The hidden toll on cognitive function: anxiety, indecision, and loss of interoception[00:21:10] 3 strategies to rewire your brain and stop compulsive complianceChronic people pleasing isn't just draining — it's dangerous. It keeps your brain in a constant stress loop, contributes to inflammation, and erodes your self-trust. But the good news is this: your brain is plastic, and with every boundary you set, you're creating a new pathway toward resilience, clarity, and health. Start by inserting a pause, practicing low-stakes boundaries, and reconnecting with your authentic self.

This week, Jen and Pete dive into a topic that seems to get harder as we get older: making new friends.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:What might be some tactics for making new friends, as an adult?Why do we have friends, and do we need more of them?How might we dedicate time and effort to the task of making friends?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

Let’s be honest, leadership is easy when the sun is shining. But what about when it’s not? In this kick-off episode of Stacey’s leadership mini-series, we’re diving into what it really means to lead when things aren’t going to plan. Whether you’ve hit a slow season, lost a team member, or are just feeling stuck, this episode will help you reconnect with your leadership style, get back on track, and start leading with clarity and confidence again. Inside you’ll learn: ✨ The difference between leadership and management (and why you need both)✨ Why your vision alone isn’t enough—and how to build a team that can actually deliver on it✨ The importance of action steps, timelines, and real accountability✨ Why management isn’t “sexy”—but is absolutely necessary for growth✨ How to make your values and goals something your whole team can see, remember, and work towards Whether you're a seasoned leader or just stepping into a leadership role, this episode will give you the tools and perspective to lead not just when it's easy but when it's essential.

Today I look at an idea from "Dare to Lead" by Dr. Brene Brown.

There's a lie you've turned into identity—that you must perform vulnerability to earn belonging. This week, Toni Collier joins me to pull the veil off emotional infidelity hidden in silence, the orphan wounds we carry in isolation, and the spiritual manipulation we excuse as authenticity. She's walked through heartbreaking betrayal, spiritual misuse, and the long deconstruction of self‑worth in ministry circles. And she has found that true vulnerability isn't performative—it's sacred, grounded, sacrificial, and healing. In this episode, we dismantle the theology of emotional scarcity, expose spiritual control disguised as care, and confront the cost of emotional isolation. Toni challenges common assumptions: that therapy alone solves trauma, that forgiveness equals denial, that age or faith automatically heals wounds. This conversation calls you home to integrity, community, and emotional wholeness. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

Did you know that real human connection—not supplements, superfoods, or workouts—is one of the most powerful ways to protect your brain? In this episode of Happy and Healthy with Amy Lang, we dive into the science behind social connection and why it's essential for women in midlife who want to protect their cognitive health.What to Listen For:[01:25] The New York Times article that sparked this episode[02:05] What makes “Super Agers” cognitively younger than their peers[03:00] Brene Brown's definition of real connection[03:45] Why your brain is biologically wired to bond with others[04:10] What the longest-running study on adult development reveals about relationships and brain health[05:05] The devastating effects of loneliness—equal to smoking 15 cigarettes a day[06:30] What is social homeostasis and why it matters for your brain[07:20] How isolation rewires the brain and leads to cognitive decline[10:55] The 3 layers of social connection: inner circle, common clusters, and micro-interactions[14:00] 4 actionable strategies (plus a bonus!) to start building brain-supportive connections todayProtecting your brain doesn't have to be complicated. Real, authentic human connection is one of the most powerful tools we have—and it's free. In this episode, I shared how you can start strengthening your brain through relationships today. Be sure to subscribe to Happy and Healthy with Amy Lang, and don't forget to join the priority list for Second Spring Society (moxie-club.com/society), our upcoming membership for women in midlife who want to thrive together.Sources:Waldinger, R., & Schulz, M. (2023). The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness. Simon & Schuster.Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review. PLOS Medicine.Liu, D., & Tye, K. (2021). Neural mechanisms of social homeostasis. Neuron.Sepúlveda-Loyola, W., et al. (2020). Impact of Social Isolation Due to COVID-19 on Health in Older People: Mental and Physical Effects and Recommendations. Journal of Nutrition, Health & Aging.Lara, B., et al. (2021). Neuropsychiatric symptoms and quality of life in Alzheimer's patients before and during lockdown. International Psychogeriatrics.Brown, B. (2010). The Power of Vulnerability. TEDx Houston.Dr K (Dr. Alok Kanojia), Healthy Gamer GG. I Don't Know How to Build Relationships: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfWVQ25UmEQ  Cole, T. (2021). Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free. Sounds True.RESOURCES: Register for the FREE Masterclass: 5 Keys to Protecting Your Brain Health Book a FREE Discovery Call with Amy Lang Order Amy's book Thoughts Are Habits Too: Master Your Triggers, Free Yourself From Diet Culture, and Rediscover Joyful Eating. Follow Amy on Instagram @habitwhisperer

How can we know if we're getting it right when it comes to meeting others with empathy? “Empathy is a tool of compassion,” writes Brene Brown. “We can respond empathically only if we are willing to be present to someone's pain. If we're not willing to do that, it's not real empathy.” We're living now in a time and society where people actually talk about the sin of empathy. But for followers of Jesus—charged to mourn with and comfort others—how can being present to someone else's pain ever wear the title of “sin?” In Episode 229, Cynthia and Susan take on empathy, exploring this hot-button word and a few of the familiar ideas related to it. Why does such a simple sounding principle sometimes feel clumsy or complicated when we try to put it into practice?

For the first time in three years, Pete is free of lower back pain, and he shares with Jen his journey and learnings on his way to healing.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:Why might we hide from our problems by creating a self-diagnosis?How can we work on discovering what our problems actually are?Who are the people in our lives who might serve as mentors and coaches?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

What does it take to heal beyond the pills, the quick fixes, and the 15-minute doctor visits?  For today's episode of The Ripple Effect Podcast, we have Cristi Cuellar, also known as “Austin's Holistic Physical Therapist,” who has spent the last 18 years transforming lives through her approach to healing. With a passion for alternative pain management, she champions conscious exercise and an anti-inflammatory lifestyle, emphasizing personalized, one-on-one care that addresses the root causes of pain. In 2016, Cristi enhanced her expertise by becoming certified in dry needling, inspired by its rapid benefits in her own journey—from a high school athlete who tore her Anterior cruciate ligament (ACL), to becoming a physical therapist, and ultimately launching C&C Dry Needling, her own wellness clinic in South Lamar. We talk about what makes her approach so unique, which is the 5R wellness method that helps patients reset their nervous system, repair soft tissue, and truly reclaim their health. She takes pride in listening to her patients' complete stories, creating a holistic pathway to optimal health and empowerment.  Cristi has a Bachelor's of Health and Science Degree from Baylor University and a Master of Physical Therapy Degree from Texas State University. As a licensed Physical Therapist, she has various continuing education certifications in Dry Needling, Exercise Correction, Reformer Pilates, Manual Therapy, YogaFit, Qigong, and Kinesiotaping techniques. She has also been part of the CHEK (Corrective Holistic Exercise Kinesiology) Institute as a Holistic Lifestyle Coach for over 6 years. She is an advocate for functional medicine, emotional intelligence, and spiritual growth, and a fan of Dr. Mark Hyman, Andrew Huberman, Dr. Stacy Sims, Dr. Joe Dispenza, and Brene Brown. If you've ever wondered how mind-body healing really works, or why traditional physical therapy sometimes misses the bigger picture, you're going to love hearing Cristi's perspective on holistic injury recovery, patient empowerment, and creating balance in life. Cristi's story proves that healing isn't just about the body. It's about the mind, emotions, and spirit working together. Do you enjoy listening to experts from diverse fields? Hit subscribe and I'll make it happen!   Ripple with Cristi Cuellar Website: https://ccdryneedling.com Book an appointment: https://ccdryneedling.wpengine.com/appointment/ Business Instagram: @ccdryneedling Personal Instagram: @cristi_cuellar   Ripple with Steve Harper Instagram: http://instagram.com/rippleon Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rippleon X: https://twitter.com/rippleon Website: http://www.ripplecentral.com   Stay in the loop by being a part of the Ripple mail list: https://ripplecentral.com/subscribe Be a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/SteveHarper Join our ever-growing community of Ripplers in The Pond: https://ripplecentral.com/pond   To inquire about my availability for conference keynotes, corporate training, or performance coaching, please contact info@ripplecentral.com.   #rippleeffectpodcast #steveharper #cristicuellar #ccdryneedling #dryneedling #holistichealth #physicaltherapy #austinwellness #fasciahealth #aclrecovery #mindbodyconnection #selfcare #selflove #patientempowerment #guthealth #wellnessjourney #authenticliving

You’ve asked for feedback… now what? In this episode, Stacey wraps up her series on feedback by getting into the nitty-gritty: what to actually do with it. From filtering through tricky customer comments to turning small ideas into big wins, this episode is a must-listen if you’ve ever felt nervous about opening that Google form. Inside, you'll hear: ✨ Why courage (just 20 seconds of it!) is all you need to start✨ How to filter feedback without letting it derail your confidence✨ A brilliant example of turning a one-off complaint into a studio-wide innovation✨ The difference between criticism and helpful insight—and who you should really be listening to Plus, Stacey shares her “Feedback Friday” tip for building consistency and trust, so your team and your clients feel heard—and you stay calm.

We leave our series on quotes coaches should NOT use and start back to the more conventional concepts of quotes we should use. However, today's episode is not about a specific "quote" like so many of the quotes I have spoken about for most of the 260 episodes before this. Rather, today I talk about two paragraphs in Dr. Brene Brown's book, Dare to Lead.I have talked about Brene Brown numerous times before and covered a lot of quotes or ideas by her. Today, I talk about a couple of paragraphs that are important for coaches to hear because they discuss ways we create either shame or belief in our kids.For more information to help you on your road to becoming your best, check us out at SlamDunkSuccess.com or email me at scott@slamdunksuccess.com.As always, our background music is "Dance in the Sun" by Krisztian Vass.

There's an architecture to dysfunction. It starts with broken beliefs about who you are, and it becomes lifestyle chaos. This week, Ed Latimore joins me to dismantle that architecture from the inside out. A former heavyweight boxer turned Stoic philosopher, physicist, and master of emotional discipline, Ed knows what happens when discipline outruns self-awareness and toughness becomes armor, not healing. We go deep on how distorted thinking drives destructive behavior; how emotional regulation isn't about feeling control—it's predictive science; and why optimism without realism becomes denial. This episode is a surgical blueprint for rethinking how you think, feel, and engage with life's stress. If you're tired of overthinking, overdoing, and still not seeing change, listen closely. Because transformation begins the moment you question what you're telling yourself about your own strength, your pain, and your beliefs. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

This week, Pete and Jen return to basics, and ask the questions: How is it that we build skills?Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:Are there finite and infinite skills?How might we coach and lead groups of people to build skills?How might we return to basics and question the methods we use every day?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

Let’s get real—how often are you actually asking for feedback in your business? In this episode, Stacey unpacks why feedback isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s an essential ingredient in sustainable growth. Whether you’re craving more customers, stronger retention, or smoother systems, chances are the answers are already in your community… if you’re willing to ask. You’ll learn: ✨ The difference between validation (hello, Insta likes) and true feedback✨ Why only 42% of businesses are asking for regular feedback—and why that’s a massive missed opportunity✨ Practical ways to invite feedback from clients, your team, and even non-customers✨ How Stacey uses “Feedback Fridays” in her business to create consistent, low-pressure insight loops This episode will help you create simple systems for gathering meaningful feedback—and teach you how to use it to strengthen relationships, improve service, and spark real innovation.

Send us a Positive Review!In this episode, Valerie shares an inspiring journey of self-discovery and spiritual growth with The Wholeness Network.  The theme was Brene Brown's exploration of the concept of "Braving the Wilderness" and on the heels of three years of learning to live & love one's truth at a potentially high social cost, Val felt that she had a couple of things to say about this.   This episode is a sharing of history, emotion on both ends of the spectrum and ultimately,  a tale of courage, compassion, and finding one's true place in the world.  00:00 Finding My Path: Early Struggles and Discoveries00:40 A Surprising Call to Ministry01:06 Discovering a Passion for Therapy02:38 The Journey to Graduate School03:18 Embracing Complexity in Faith and Life04:40 Launching a Podcast: Unexpected Success07:40 Understanding the Faith Journey08:11 Stages of Faith and Personal Growth10:25 Challenges and Courage in Faith Transitions15:40 The Role of Compassion and Empathy23:45 Trusting Oneself and Embracing the Divine Within27:49 The Price and Reward of Spiritual Journeys28:05 Experiences of Resonance and Support33:28 Navigating Faith and Personal Growth42:36 Understanding Patriarchy in Faith Communities50:58 The Impact of Enmeshed Family Systems58:22 Embracing Wholeness and Self-Integration Afterward:  After their forced resignation from the LDS church in March of 2025, Val & Nathan were invited to share their stories on about a dozen podcasts.  Due to Nathan's currently heavy travel schedule, most of these guest appearances are (unfortunately!) just Valerie.  Thanks for sharing this journey with the Hamakers! Support the showListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Annual Subscription $89 Friday Episodes Monthly Subscription $10 Valerie's Support & Processing Groups Donate: ⁠Venmo or Patreon⁠ Visit our Website

In Episode 315:7 of the Best Books for Women with ADHD, You Will Discover: Powerful books that help you feel seen in your ADHD experience The neuroscience of ADHD to work with your brain instead of fighting it Resources offering both validation and practical strategies you can implement today Work With Me:

Welcome to the Sustainable Clinical Medicine Podcast! In this episode, Dr. Sarah Smith welcomes Dr. Tracey O'Connell, a radiologist whose career journey took a transformative turn when she left a toxic private practice after 16 years. Together, they dive into Dr. O'Connell's path from aspiring psychiatrist to radiologist and ultimately to her work focusing on vulnerability, shame resilience, and expressive writing—especially among physicians and marginalized groups. Dr. O'Connell opens up about her early influences, the emotional challenges of medical training, and how technological shifts in radiology contributed to feelings of isolation. She shares her personal experience of grappling with shame and the toll that unsustainable work practices can take on mental health. Dr. O'Connell also discusses how discovering expressive writing and the work of Brene Brown helped her reconnect with herself and build resilience—insights she now brings to her coaching and writing workshops. If you're a clinician looking for ways to create a more sustainable career and life, or interested in how vulnerability and self-reflection can transform your wellbeing, this candid conversation offers inspiration, tools, and hope. Let's dive in! Here are 3 key takeaways from this episode: Vulnerability is Key to Physician Well-being: Dr. O'Connell highlights that being vulnerable with ourselves is a crucial first step. This can be made more accessible through expressive writing, providing a safe space for self-reflection before sharing with others. Redefining Career “Success” in Medicine: Her story challenges the idea that conforming to traditional work patterns is the only path forward. Doing things differently to protect personal well-being sometimes feels isolating, but it's a vital part of creating a sustainable career. Expressive Writing as a Healing Tool: She describes how non-judgmental self-reflection through writing can unlock growth and be a gateway to real change—especially for those struggling with burnout, shame, or isolation in clinical settings. Meet Dr. Tracey O'Connell: Tracey O'Connell, MD is a radiologist, professional certified coach, consultant, educator, and facilitator of expressive writing and Brene Brown's shame resilience programs. She provides tools for good people having a hard time, tired of feeling lonely, negative, or out of place. After many years of feeling "not enough" as a person, a physician, a parent, or partner, her work fosters positive self-worth, psychological safety, and shame resilience for others. She is currently adjusting to life as an "empty nester" and is curious about what's next for her. Physician Coach | Traceyoconnellmd.com -------------- Would you like to view a transcript of this episode? Click Here **** Charting Champions is a premiere, lifetime access Physician only program that is helping Physicians get home with today's work done. All the proven tools, support and community you need to create time for your life outside of medicine. Learn more at https://www.chartingcoach.ca **** Enjoying this podcast? Please share it with someone who would benefit. Also, don't forget to hit “follow” so you get all the new episodes as soon as they are released. **** Come hang out with me on Facebook or Instagram. Follow me @chartingcoach to get more practical tools to help you create sustainable clinical medicine in your life. **** Questions? Comments? Want to share how this podcast has helped you? Shoot me an email at admin@reachcareercoaching.ca. I would love to hear from you.

This week, Jefferson Fisher—a trial lawyer turned communication expert—walks us through why the art of slowing down a conversation is more powerful than shouting louder. He unpacks the truth about overexplaining, reveals why emotional manipulation often hides in plain sight, and shows how minor shifts can resolve arguments faster than any volume ever could. Jefferson also challenges the lie that talking proves knowledge. Instead, he shows why restraint builds trust, clarity, and real influence. If you've ever found yourself talking in circles, replaying conversations in your head, or trying to shout down someone else, this episode will give you the tools to stop reacting and start leading. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.  

As time hurtles by at lighting pace, there is scarcely a second to take stock and breathe. Across the world, work seems increasingly harried and fraught and it's taking its toll on engagement and organisational performance. In this episode, Dom, Jen and Cat talk with Megan Reitz and John Higgins about their most recent research report, Permission to pause: Rediscovering spaciousness at work. They look at what it is, and why it's a business-critical issue. Against a rising tide of stress anxiety and burnout, spaciousness is the one permission we should all be granting ourselves, not least if we stand any chance of resolving society's most pressing challenges. To find out more go to www.johnhigginsresearch.com, www.radicalod.org, and www.meganreitz.com   About Megan Reitz Megan is Associate Fellow at Saïd Business School, Oxford University and Adjunct Professor of Leadership and Dialogue at Hult International Business School. She focuses on how we create the conditions for transformative dialogue at work and her research is at the intersection of leadership, change, dialogue and mindfulness. She is on the Thinkers50 ranking of global business thinkers and is ranked in HR Magazine's Most Influential Thinkers listing. Megan has written a number of books, most recently Speak Out, Listen Up which is the second edition of her bestselling book Speak Up, with Financial Times Publishing. Speak Up was shortlisted for the CMI Management Book of the Year 2020. Megan is a contributor to Harvard Business Review and MIT Sloan Management Review. She has presented her research on the BBC and CNBC. Her TED talk on the topic of employee activism has been viewed more than one and a half million times. She is mother to two wonderful teenage daughters who test her regularly on her powers of mindfulness and dialogue.   Find Megan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meganreitz/ Megan's website: https://www.meganreitz.com/   About John Higgins John is a widely published researcher and author who for many years has been exploring, with Megan Reitz, what it takes for truth to be spoken to power at work – and how this shapes workplace activism. Their work has appeared in the Harvard Business Review, Sloan Management Review and the European Business Review – and on various public platforms, from Radio 4's ‘The Bottom Line' to Brene Brown's ‘Dare to Lead' podcast. For the last year and a half, John and Megan have been looking at the concept of spaciousness, and what it takes for organisations to marry a more spacious mode to enrich an over-focus on tasks and busy doing. Alongside this John has written two books, alongside Mark Cole, which critique the taken for granted assumptions about what counts as good organisational management and leadership. John's website: http://www.johnhigginsresearch.com   The report: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/597729cbcf81e0f87c7f6c61/t/677b9b9a26a22a7351dce717/1736154022120/SpaciousnessREPORT_90pp_FULL.pdf Articles: https://sloanreview.mit.edu/article/create-mental-space-to-be-a-wiser-leader/ https://hbr.org/2025/02/how-to-give-yourself-more-space-to-think  

This week, Jen shares an aha moment with Pete that she learned during the intensive process of caramelizing onions.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:Why might efficiency not always be the best route to an end goal?What can we learn by practicing patience, and not rushing?What are some tactics for continuing with a project when it seems uncertain?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

Think innovation, relationship-building, and communication are all on your shoulders? Think again. In this episode, Stacey continues the series on business growth and unpacks why scaling your business shouldn’t be a solo sport. Whether you're the founder, front of house, or back of house, everyone has a role to play in delivering an exceptional customer experience—and that experience is what drives growth. Tune in as we cover: ✨ Why strategic innovation is a team effort (not just a CEO task)✨ How to create a culture where every voice is heard and valued✨ The power of a 5-star customer moment (including the champagne surprise at the Roar Awards!)✨ Simple ways to bring your team into conversations around strategy, systems, and service Stacey also shares practical ideas for setting up team systems that foster ownership, spark innovation, and keep your customers coming back again and again.

In this episode of The GoodKind Podcast, Clayton Greene, Chris Pappalardo, and business partner and friend, Arthur Tew engage in a light-hearted conversation about the importance of playfulness in the home and its connection to spirituality. They explore how play can enhance family dynamics, foster deeper connections, and contribute to personal growth. The discussion also touches on the challenges adults face in maintaining a playful spirit and how to navigate playtime with children amidst adult responsibilities. Ultimately, the episode emphasizes the value of embracing interruptions and being open to playful moments in life.TakeawaysPlay is essential for spiritual growth and family dynamics.Children naturally embody playfulness, which adults can learn from.Creating space for play can enhance relationships and personal well-being.Playfulness is linked to humility and vulnerability.Adults often lose their playful spirit due to societal pressures.Living an abundant life includes embracing all aspects of human experience, including play.Saying yes in advance to play can foster a more playful environment.ResourcesThe Power of Fun, by Catherine Price https://www.amazon.com/Power-Fun-Feel-Alive-Again/dp/0593241401 The Fun Habit, by Mike Rucker https://www.amazon.com/dp/1982159065/?bestFormat=true&k=the%20fun%20habit%20by%20mike%20rucker&ref_=nb_sb_ss_w_scx-ent-pd-bk-d_k0_1_13_de&crid=1AM710KRFDBCQ&sprefix=the%20fun%20habitThe Gifts of Imperfection, by Brene Brown https://www.amazon.com/Gifts-Imperfection-Think-Supposed-Embrace-ebook/dp/B00BS03LL6/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2B6GAUSKWY50Z&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.GK7i91ZGiTfzEF3gCtOK03qEKVwBr5gksbrxLOy_MzLuKnLaZYxBzjRO_49JXefWDwur47rqfYJVdHNzT3kGTCFud6V82Sjn3UAJUnc2NYJ8zA0TlbiW5tuCAiJCacRVWU-zWo-Cw2bdYqrFwoCRgpR6g59N-r989_iKwu5GX3HGYLSIxCSLbwKeldqQOO4UACcMa9OZrv_rN3OCUFBWxGIKOufg5kx4V7FXvNcWSKk.Acx1krghCgX027691qSCzwkE7U-XqIrIYJjiJOruaCM&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+gifts+of+imperfection&qid=1754074532&s=digital-text&sprefix=the+gifts+of+imperfection%2Cdigital-text%2C111&sr=1-1Invitation to a Journey, by Robert Mulholland https://www.amazon.com/dp/0830846174/?bestFormat=true&k=invitation%20to%20a%20journey%20by%20robert%20mulholland&ref_=nb_sb_ss_w_scx-ent-pd-bk-d_k0_1_13_de&crid=1HVV5PZC6C5YR&sprefix=invitation%20to

This week, we're concluding a special encore series with Jamie Winship, one of the most powerful voices we've ever featured. These conversations aren't just interviews; they're invitations. Each episode is a call to trade fear for peace, performance for identity, and isolation for union with the Lord. If you've been wrestling with pain, confusion, or the ache to live from truth instead of striving, don't miss this mini-series. It's time to unlearn the lies that keep you stuck and rediscover the wholeness you were made for. July 16: Turning Chaos into Opportunity July 23: The Lie of Being Alone, Radical Individualism, and Why Pain is Good July 30: Why Separation Creates Suffering, the Necessary Practice of Self-Emptying, and a Right View of God Then join me August 6 for a brand-new conversation with communication expert and viral voice of reason, Jefferson Fisher. Episode Links Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

In this episode, we delve into the complex topic of how societal expectations have shaped men's emotional growth and identity. Hosts discuss the historical transformation of male stereotypes, the struggle for emotional balance, and the significant impact of gender roles on personal development. Key insights include integrating both 'Alpha' and 'Omega' energies and the importance of living authentically. The conversation also touches on biblical examples and provides practical steps for men to expand their emotional range. This discussion aims to support men in becoming their fullest selves, benefiting not only their own growth but also their relationships.00:00 Introduction and Purpose00:33 The Emotional Struggles of Men00:59 Societal Expectations and Changes02:17 Brene Brown's Insight on Men03:18 The Role of Emotions in Men04:06 Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies05:30 Living Authentically11:22 The Example of King David14:16 Practical Steps for Emotional Growth22:10 The Example of Jesus26:12 Final Thoughts and Encouragement27:49 Conclusion and Contact InformationAbout Our GuestDr. Mark A. Hicks is an author, speaker, ghostwriter, and relationships coach with expertise in mental health and family dynamics. Holding a Doctor of Ministry Degree, a Masters in Mental Health Counseling, a Masters of Divinity, and a Bachelors in Psychology, his educational background reflects his unwavering commitment to understanding the human psyche and guiding individuals toward healthy relationships and meaningful lives.Mark's goal is to spread a message of love that is practical, tangible, and a realistic life for everyone regardless of your relationship experience so far. In his book, Learning Love, he teaches the five components of love anyone can learn and practice to build healthy, happy, thriving relationships.

This week, Jen and Pete focus on appreciation being an added bonus, and not an intention, in creating a project or developing an idea.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:How might we think about appreciation, in relationship to our work?In what ways might we unintentionally be working for an outcome of appreciation? How might we shift our thinking towards solving problems and showing up through our work?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

In this heartfelt and reflective episode, Julie Beem and Ginger Healy return to a profound conversation from Season 1 with the late Cissy White—trauma survivor, fierce advocate, and the originator of the term Joy Stalking.As the world faces rising despair and isolation, Julie and Ginger explore what it means to stalk, savor, and sustain joy—especially in the face of pain, trauma, and fear. Drawing from Cissy's wisdom, Brene Brown's research, theological insights, and their own personal journeys, they unpack how joy can be a radical act of healing and resistance.You'll discover why joy is not the same as happiness, how trauma can block joy, and why cultivating even the tiniest moments of joy might just be one of the most important things we can do—for ourselves, our children, and our communities.“Joy stalking is always healing and useful. It's about savoring life through sensing, using my body, absorbing, feeling all the good stuff.” — Cissy White“Joy isn't the opposite of sadness. It's the opposite of fear.” — Anne Robertson via Brené Brown“Joy doesn't betray but sustains activism… joy is a fine initial act of insurrection.” — Rebecca Solnit“We can't experience joy when we're scanning for danger. Trauma blocks joy—but healing invites it back in.” — Julie & Ginger

In this follow-up to last week's conversation, Stacey dives deeper into what real business growth actually looks like and spoiler alert, it’s not always sexy. It’s vulnerable. It’s uncomfortable. And it requires way more than just shouting “I want more customers!” In this episode, you’ll learn: ✨ Why growth doesn’t just “happen” (unless you’re Rihanna at the Super Bowl)✨ The three key levers to pull when you're ready to grow: Innovation, Customer Relationships, and Communication✨ How to meet your customers where they actually are (hint: it’s not just in your newsletter)✨ Why vulnerability is a business superpower and what happens when you embrace it From early business missteps (anyone else wanted to print “Have you read the newsletter?” t-shirts?) to failed offers that taught big lessons, Stacey keeps it raw, real, and relatable. Ready to grow? This episode will help you do it with intention, resilience, and a whole lot of heart.

In Week 3 of our series, we explore what it means to live with integrity—choosing courage over comfort and practicing our values in real life. Through the story of Ruth and Brene Brown's Living BIG framework, we reflect on how integrity strengthens meaningful relationships, especially in hard moments. Find out more about Storied Church @ STORIEDCHURCH.org TO GIVE storiedchurch.org/give JOIN SC DISCORD: https://discord.gg/XuVCyZZ3 JOIN OUR LISTSERVE: storiedchurch.org/connect instagram.com/storiedchurch facebook.com/storiedchurch YouTube: @storiedchurch921

We're continuing a special encore series with Jamie Winship, one of the most powerful voices we've ever featured. These conversations aren't just interviews; they're invitations. Each episode is a call to trade fear for peace, performance for identity, and isolation for union with the Lord. If you've been wrestling with pain, confusion, or the ache to live from truth instead of striving, don't miss this mini-series. It's time to unlearn the lies that keep you stuck and rediscover the wholeness you were made for. July 16: Turning Chaos into Opportunity July 23: The Lie of Being Alone, Radical Individualism, and Why Pain is Good July 30: Why Separation Creates Suffering, the Necessary Practice of Self-Emptying, and a Right View of God Then join me on August 6 for a brand-new conversation with communication expert and viral voice of reason, Jefferson Fisher. Episode Links Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

In this episode of "Building Texas Business," I sit down with Molly Voorhees, the president of Beck's Prime, Winfield's Chocolate Bar, and Agnes Cafe. Molly shares her journey from Silicon Valley back to her roots in Houston's culinary scene. She talks about how her passion for food and community has shaped her approach to running family-run businesses and the importance of customer service. We explore the challenges of maintaining a successful family business, emphasizing the importance of respecting individual expertise and fostering a collaborative environment. Molly discusses how she integrates technology into operations, which can be challenging for mid-sized companies. Her experiences provide insight into the practical hurdles of implementing new systems while maintaining efficiency. Molly also reflects on the entrepreneurial spirit in Texas, particularly in Houston, where local businesses benefit from a supportive community. She shares how this environment has been beneficial, despite the uncertainties and challenges in the business world. Her approach to leadership involves patience and listening to her team, allowing them to voice their opinions and ideas. The conversation also touches on the importance of authenticity and resilience in business. Molly shares how facing challenges early on, like financial struggles and an empty restaurant, taught her valuable lessons. She emphasizes the importance of mental health awareness in corporate culture and maintaining open dialogue about success and failure. As Molly looks forward to upcoming projects, she invites listeners to experience the culinary adventures that celebrate innovation and community. SHOW HIGHLIGHTS   Molly shares her journey from Silicon Valley back to Houston, taking on leadership roles in Beck's Prime, Winfield's Chocolate Bar, and Agnes Cafe, emphasizing her passion for food and community. The episode explores her innovative approach to maintaining high standards in Beck's Prime while expanding into the chocolate business, highlighting the importance of customer service and community connection. Listeners gain insights into managing a family-run business, where respecting individual expertise and fostering collaboration are essential for effective decision-making and business success. We discuss the integration of technology in operations, acknowledging the challenges faced by mid-sized companies and the potential for improved efficiency through technological advancements. The supportive entrepreneurial spirit in Houston is highlighted, showcasing how local businesses benefit from a community eager to see them succeed, even amidst ongoing challenges and uncertainties. Her reflections on entrepreneurship emphasize authenticity, resilience, and mental health awareness in corporate culture, encouraging open dialogue about success and failure. Excitement for upcoming projects is shared, inviting listeners to join in a culinary adventure that celebrates innovation and community in Houston's vibrant food scene. LINKSShow Notes Previous Episodes About BoyarMiller About Beck's Prime GUESTS Molly VoorheesAbout Molly TRANSCRIPT (AI transcript provided as supporting material and may contain errors) Chris: In this episode you will meet Molly Voorhees, president of Beck's Prime, winfield's Chocolate Bar and Agnes Cafe. Molly shares her passion for bringing people together over quality food and service and how, in difficult times, she looks for the next right thing to do to keep the company moving forward. Molly, I want to thank you for coming on Building Texas Business. Thanks for coming in today. Molly: Thank you for having me Excited to be here. Chris: So we have a lot to talk about with you because you cover a lot of areas. So let's start Just tell everyone kind of what it is you do, the companies that you're involved in and what they're known for. Molly: So we started Beck's Prime back in 1985. I was just 10 years old so I did not start it, but my dad, a lawyer, winn Campbell, and an operating partner, a guy named Mike Knapp, started it together. And really my dad, winn, loves food and grew up in the burger business in Dallas. Chris: Ok, what was the burger place in Dallas? Molly: It was golf. Chris: I've had lots of golf, yeah, so he was 14. Molly: He tells some fantastic stories about, you know, his first day on the job, cutting onions and being a human trash compactor and sort of all the love, and ended up getting a law degree. But always loved the food industry, always wanted to be in it and came up with the concept of Vex Prime in 1985. I convinced a lot of people to gamble with him and invest and that was the very first Vex Prime on Kirby. Chris: OK. Molly: I was 10, just kid watching, watching it all happen, while I, you know, played sports and did all the things you do and went to college, ended up in um tech out in silicon valley for a long time during the the boom and bust period okay and which was fun went to business school and then wanted to to come back and be in the restaurant industry and grow it. Food is fun. It's very personal. I had sold being in tech. You're not selling something that brings necessarily as much moment-to-moment joy as feeding people Okay, necessarily as much moment to moment joy as feeding people. And I really felt like with Beck's Prime we had something great and then it was time to grow it and so I've moved back here in 2006, back to Houston, and we started growing and building more Beck's Prime and then we took over the management five years ago, chocolate bar and rebranded that Winfield's chocolate bar and built a factory and new stores and now we're selling wholesale and corporate gifting. And then we have a little side concept that I did with a friend called Agnes. Chris: Okay. Molly: Agnes Cafe and Provisions. Chris: Oh, we're off the internet, right. And that was my crazy covid baby I was. Molly: I thought everyone wanted to get back to work and we needed to create jobs and he's desperate for community and the restaurant industry to come back. And there was a restaurant that had closed there and decided to open up a neighborhood cafe with a friend who was crazy enough to say yes when I brought her the idea and we opened Agnes four years ago in June and it is a local neighborhood favorite. Chris: That's great. That's great. So original inspiration, I guess obviously is your dad, and being exposed to the business Great. So original inspiration I guess obviously is your dad and being exposed to the business. What was it that got you to kind of branch into chocolate, because that's much different than kind of a full service meal concept. Well, in theory it was going to be easier. Molly: Famous last words. Famous last words. You know, I love how food brings people together and what we do at Beck's Prime is really hard, which is, you know, you walk up to the window or you drive through our drive-thru and I mean we are cut, grinding and patting all the burgers every day. Nothing's frozen. I mean we're cutting those French fries it is busy back there and we're going to get you a made from scratch meal in eight to ten minutes. And that's hard. So I thought, okay, let's be in the food business, but let's scoop ice cream and cut cakes and sell chocolate. Um, well, when we took the business, they weren't doing the highest quality version of that. So I was like, okay, well, I'm going to apply the Beck's Prime model to it and I'm going to make it all really high quality and we're going to make all of our own cakes and ice cream. And so now I've made it as hard or harder than go back to your roots. I mean, nothing is easy. Chris: Right Molly: But yeah, I think they're similar in the sense of how you manage a restaurant, all of the different services, and how you buy food and how you work on cleanliness and operations. So there's a lot of similarities. Chris: And, I would think, critically important to people you hire to be customer-facing. Right, to make that experience, the food's got to be great, but if the people aren't great as well, right, you have to get both right. Molly: Yeah, and there's actually some evidence that the people matter more than the food. So you'll be surprised the number of text messages I get and there's some science behind this too, not just anecdotal. But oh my gosh, that guy over at Memorial Park. Or the cute drive-thru cashier over there at Kirby who always gets my sandwich right and says, hello, I love her so much, she loves my dog. There's nothing about what they ate or if they enjoyed their meal or it tasted good. It's the people. So you know, I think that part we've done well, which is why we're still in business. Chris: So let's kind of go down that route a little bit. What is it that you have done? I guess it that you have done, I guess first at Beck's and now at Winfield chocolate to focus on getting the hiring right, the processes you put in place, what did mistakes you made that you learned from, kind of. To me that is the key to the kingdom and I think our listeners could learn a lot from what you've done to put such a good system in place to get the right people. Molly: So it's interesting. I think the basics matter right how we treat people every day. I think we've always done that really well inside of our team how we hire. So when we hire managers, we will never hire a general manager for a store. We will only hire an assistant manager and then they can move up to a general manager. But when we hire, we actually take a team member through a number of different steps. You know. Obviously they interview with our management team, they interview with other managers, they interview with the other managers, then they'll do a shadows shift where they'll come and work a shift with the team. So we're really trying to make sure we get people who see themselves working in our environment. Chris:Right. Molly: Right. If you don't, if you want to be a white tablecloth restaurant manager or employee, we're not the right place. So sometimes people will come and they'll spend a shadow shift with us and they don't want to be in the environment. And then we'll also ask them. We'll give them dinner passes and we'll say bring a loved one to lunch or dinner with you here. And we'll say bring a loved one to lunch or dinner with you here. And that test is does somebody who's close to you see you working here? Chris: Oh yeah. Molly: You know, and so we try to help employees find a couple touch points so that they know whether or not, culturally, we're a good fit for them. But from my perspective it's really interesting. I think we have incredibly loyal long-term team members who've been with us forever. If you ever go in one of our stores, you'll see these posters that celebrate, you know, 5, 10, 15, 20, 40 years of with us. People are like, oh my gosh, those people have been with you for so long and I'm like, well, those are just the people on the poster that year. Right, and really I think it comes down to basic manners, boundaries, respect, helping each other. But just treating people as you would want to be treated goes a really long way. Chris: Yeah, like I said, that's the basics right, and to have that longevity in your industry is remarkable. Molly: Transparency, kind but also clear. Hey, this is how this needs to happen, Not having policies. We're not a big policy company. Chris: I love that because. I feel, the same way. I think. As soon as you create a policy, then all you're dealing with is all the reasons there should be an exception to the policy. Exactly so just treat people humanly, and humanely and reasonably. Molly: Yeah, and if we need to figure it out we will. But you know, if we had a policy that you know you can't take care of a customer if it's going to cost us more than $15. Let's say we had some limit, or something. And that would just be such a buffer. And it turns out the manager who's trying to take care of the customers all of a sudden handcuffed Right Right, and they just want the ability to do the right thing. Chris: Right. Molly: They're in the service business. People don't go into the service business unless you enjoy serving people. Chris: Well, and if you know, I think if you're watching your business, if someone's abusing a system, you'll see it and that's not a policy issue or lack of policy issue, that's a character issue, right, that surfaces, that you maybe didn't catch in the hiring process. I also like what you said because I think I'm hearing more of this in the corporate world the experimental part of the interview process where you you put someone in a skills assessment situation. So you said the shadow session or whatever. I know we're trying to do that and assessing skill. You know it's one thing to ask questions and be you know in a conversation, but people's skill sets matter in these jobs, right, that's how they're going to sink or swim. So I think that you've incorporated that is something that I see more and more people trying to do. Yeah, and I love to bring the loved one in. Molly: We try to do the same as well. Chris: It's like do something social with your spouse or significant other, because you're going to be away from them with us a lot. Molly: you're going to be away from them with us a lot they're going to spend more time with us than they are, you know, with you so? Do you see them and you know? Chris: okay with us, yeah do you like? Molly: do you like us? Yeah? Chris: so let's let's back up a little bit, because you mentioned, obviously, dad and a partner started VEX Prime. At some point you come in and kind of take over. What was that kind of transition? Molly: like it's still in transition. Chris: Okay so. Molly: I would say we certainly do not have a policy of nepotism in our business, policy of nepotism in our business, but to say that we don't have a lot of dads and daughters and family members and cousins and aunts and uncles all working together, we would have a long laugh. So my dad is still involved in the business. He's still a full-time lawyer. He's still a full-time lawyer and he is, you know, he helps us with all sorts of higher level finance, legal type ideas. I mean he's all over the map there, Our chief operating officer, Mike Knapp, the original partner. He's still working and he manages all of our managers and operating team. His daughter is our HR director and we have a marketing director who's been with us for almost 20 years and her husband is a project manager for us. So, and then on our you know extended family, I mean we really we have have tons and tons of family members working together and we actually view it as a real asset because we're all so passionate and deeply engaged in the business, because we're looking for it to be as best as it can be, but we are also, I would say, have investors from our community and our friends and family. We've raised a lot of money and so we are very careful because we're trying to make money for all of our investors. We have a fiduciary duty to that. So, I think in many ways, part of our culture is we are a family business, but we're not run like a family business at all Right. So how was it? I guess? Chris: you coming back in and you know I guess dad and his partner letting go of some things, and I mean you know, I know from experience. You know we have clients that go through this and I've had some guests on the podcast. You know everyone experienced a little different. What can you share about maybe some of the things that, looking back, probably could have done better or things that actually went well? ADVERT Hello friends, this is Chris Hanslick, your Building Texas business host. Did you know that Boyer Miller, the producer of this podcast, is a business law firm that works with entrepreneurs, corporations and business leaders? Our team of attorneys serve as strategic partners to businesses by providing legal guidance to organizations of all sizes. Get to know the firm at boyMillercom, and thanks for listening to the show. Molly: Yeah, I mean, I think one of the things I mean it's always hard and I think that there's an ebb and flow to it. And you know, one of the things I think we did really well and we still do really well is we stay in our lane and I think we're really good at the active debate and listening and having hard conversations but listening to each other's points and coming together to make a decision that is methodical and thoughtful, versus well, you know, it's going to be my way, or the highway, like we very rarely would let someone just take something and run with the decision. We're very consensus oriented but we also stay in our lane. So, if you know, I've probably my strongest background is in marketing. If I feel really passionate about something related to marketing and and I've got my reasons and I'm, you know, persuasively getting everyone on board everyone's gonna be like, okay, cool, cool, yeah, you got it, got it, you know. Or my dad's like the contract needs to read this way. You know, with the Cisco vendor, we're like, okay, cool, great, you got it. So I think one thing we've done well is we. We have a lot of people with very specific expertise and we're able to learn from each other, but not stomp on each other. And so, like Mike Knapp, who's our chief operating officer, and we have got some other great operators on our team they know how to run a restaurant. Well, if I go in there and tell them how to do it, like I'm way overstepping them my lane. Chris: Right. Molly: Right. But if I go in there and I'm like, hey, I noticed like this seemed inefficient, what's going on there? They'll either be like oh gosh, we got to go fix that, Thank you. Or well, this is why we're doing it this way and I can learn from that. Chris: I think there's a lot of humility in that for the whole team Right. Molly: Yeah, you know, or feedback, that happens. Chris: Yeah, you know, no egos. Molly: Yeah, I mean we all have egos. But yeah, I mean I can say to my dad, if we cross that out, we're never going to make this deal, Like, stop being a lawyer. Chris:Right. Molly: I mean you know how it goes. It's like there's always the lines there, but I think we do a good job of being honest, transparent, giving feedback and then, when we cross the line which family members can do, we do a good job of like coming back together. Chris: Good, so there's grace too, right. Molly: Forgiveness grace. That wasn't my best moment, I'm sorry. Chris: Yeah, okay, wasn't my best moment, I'm sorry, yeah, okay. So let's talk a little bit about you know you're, you've grown this business and you've added to it. What are you think about like technology or innovation? Are there things in that realm that you've implemented to kind of help either with the growth or, once the growth has happened, help kind of manage and make it more efficient? Molly: So I came from tech right in Silicon Valley, so it's like, okay, let's get some platforms on this business right. 2000 was the year, and so I've now been through a lot of point-of-sale changes and QuickBooks to Great Plains Accounting, all these Clover, uber, online ordering, and we have tended to actually be pretty early adopters. We probably had online ordering off your phone earlier than most companies in Houston, and it's interesting because they're so great and, in theory, they're going to make your life so much easier and everything is going to be faster and more efficient. I don't always feel that it has worked out that way. Oh okay, feel that it has worked out that way. Okay, you know, I think the layers, the layers can add just more work or buffer or time, even in how long it maybe takes to place an order. And I think we went through. If we go back a decade, I think that was the painful era of technology in the restaurant space, I think. Where we are now with some of the point of sale systems and how they're integrating, how can I let me explain this when a decade ago, or even five years ago, you would be in our restaurant and you would see we'd have our point of sale system, we'd have the drive-thru speaker, we'd have an Uber iPad, a DoorDash iPad, a Favor oh wait, favor called in and then paid with a real credit card. So just imagine. All of that is like just messy. Chris: And you'rust trying to keep up. Molly: Right, we're just coming at you and all we want to do is take the order, take your money and send you on the way with your food right. So, like that transaction, for us that 20 years ago was you walked up to the counter, you paid and you left. Now we've got all these things right and and if the DoorDash order comes in on this tablet, I've got to enter it in this system on the cash register, or it won't go to the kitchen and then the kitchen doesn't get a ticket. So it seems like, in theory, we should all love all of this. And for the consumer who's like beep, beep, beep. Chris: On the sofa at home, right. Molly: Great. It's great for them. For us, it's been hard, you know, and and it has taken a lot of time. And now what? What? My point with technology now is that all those systems are finally talking to each other, and so we were taking more orders through a single unit. There's less double entry. Chris: So technology is catching up right Kind of with the innovation, all the innovation of all that. Now technology is catching up, so it's integrated. Molly: And then behind the scenes is like how our accounting and everything flows over whether it's from our vendors that we're buying food from, and finally everything is catching up. But I think we all take for granted how easy that integration is, and when you're a mid-level size company, like we are, you don't have the financial resources to spend money on the consultants that you really need to hire to help you integrate that, and so it just can be hard. Yeah. Chris: Well, that's a great point, I think, with aspiring entrepreneurs, right, that you you've got to face these challenges and sometimes the only way through them is you know it's going to be extra time and hours on you to figure it out because you don't have the capital to just go hire a consultant to come fix it. And that's one of those lessons learned, right? It sounds easy, sounds fun, but when you're in the middle of it it's either you're going to do it or it's not going to happen yeah, and you get. Molly: I mean, there's so many great ideas out there and great technologies and great marketing ideas, but the the thought process around implementation and execution typically isn't thought through by many companies that we're partnering with. Right. You know, oh, you just do this, this and this, which is a trigger for all of us. We always laugh when we're in a meeting. It's like, oh, it's no problem to switch from this point of sale system, this point of sales, and we're like right they're never there. Chris: That's sweet they're never there past the sales delivery. Right, it's just like. Then they're gone. You're off to sell someone else, that employee will quit if if I say we're gonna switch yeah well, let's talk a little more about. I guess you know you're born and raised here. Becks started here Chocolate Bar. Winfields now, what are some of the advantages that you feel like that you've experienced as a result of being a Texas based? Molly: company. I think Texans are unique in that we embrace entrepreneurs. In Houston, I have, in particular, found this to be an incredibly warm and receptive and we believe in you, molly attitude. I'm out there hustling chocolate so hard. I'm out there selling to businesses and people want to see us succeed. It's not like being in a part of the country where I feel sometimes like well, we'll see if she can make that happen, where they kind of mock you, whereas here I feel like people are behind us and that's such a positive that happen. You know where they kind of mock you, whereas here I feel like people are behind us and that's such a positive place to work, whether it's people who you're partnering with or buying from you or, you know, just giving you money to go make it happen. Right, it's hard to make a business happen without the ability to raise money. Chris: Sure. Molly: And there's faith involved in someone giving you their money to go make something happen. I mean, you never know, right, right. Chris: No, it makes sense. I couldn't agree more. I don't think what you described as kind of that spirit of Houston, houstonia, just kind of a very entrepreneurial, very welcoming and supportive community, love to see others succeed. So you know, let's talk about the contrast of that as we sit here today, and you're in the middle of it, and you're in the middle of it. Molly: What are some of the headwinds that you are dealing with or that you kind of see around the corner, that you're trying to prepare for? You know, I think everything feels a tiny bit chaotic right now, and I think it doesn't matter. You know where you are on any sort of belief system as a business person, you're sort of like what's happening right? And I think our hr director always says this. She's like what's the next right thing to do? What's the next right? And I think, with all the challenges and headwinds, and I think, with all the challenges and headwinds which I have to just globally say I can't specifically mention I'm like, oh, I could be like, oh, the tariffs are this or that. Maybe the tariff goes away tomorrow. It's not really a worry, but it could be a worry. It's just the uncertainty. Yeah, and uncertainty can be a significant economic headwind. Uncertainty can be a significant economic headwind because when we go into uncertainty mode, we are stuck. And we just. It's like we're all of a sudden we're standing on the Galveston beaches and our feet are sinking in that squishy sand. That's so warm right now and lovely. Chris: And we literally can't come out of it we don't do anything. Molly: It creates paralysis. We just go into, like, and so I think what's hard as a leader and as a texan and as an entrepreneur, is to not let that stop us from making decisions and moving forward. Yeah, so I go back to my hr director and says okay, what's the next right thing I need to do? Chris: let that stop us from making decisions and moving forward. So I go back to my HR director and says, okay, what's the next right thing I need to do? Yeah Well, I mean, I think it's one good you have a partner, whether it's any officer or not, but someone that you can lean on and have that. What's great about that is it's simple right. It's how you eat the elephant right, one bite at a time. So big picture can be overwhelming, create a lot of uncertainty, could create paralysis. So, okay, let's go back to the basics and what's the next right step, right, and then maybe with one step, it's easier to take the second step which leads to the third step and all of a sudden you've built some momentum. Molly: Yeah, and you can do something with that. Chris: Yeah. Molly: But it is you know, and at the same time as you take the next step, you've got to kind of know where you're driving towards. Chris: Yeah, so let's talk a little bit about leadership styles, and how would you describe your leadership style? How do you think that's evolved over time? Molly: You know I think I'm not very patient and I think that's hard, and I think it's hard to probably work with me, because we all have a tendency of we've got a great idea. We wanted to have happened two weeks ago. Chris: Right. Molly: Right, not just, not just an idea. It's like oh, that's a great idea, why don't? Why aren't we already doing it? Chris: And why is it already? Why isn't it done already? Molly: Like what's the problem? And so I think one of the things I've really had to work on is patience as a leader, and it's far more fun to be part of a team with a patient leader versus a chaotic always and and I don't do this perfectly well, and so either. I would believe you if you said you did, yeah, you wouldn't you know me for half an hour and you can tell this, but I think I love being a leader that people can say no to now. I think I love being a leader that people can say no to now. I think, it's really hard sometimes to be. You can be the type of leader people can't say no to because they're scared of you or they don't want to say no. But when my team has now in a place where we're close enough and capable enough, where they can say molly, that is a great idea, and if we try to do that right now, we will fail yeah like, okay, I can be mature enough to hear that now and I appreciate you saying that. So I think, I think I don't want to stop pushing us, but I've tried to learn as a leader where kind of thinking of an organ? Right now right, which pedals I should be pushing harder on or less hard? Chris: I think you raise a great point, because I think it's like anything. I think if there's too much of one thing, it's not good. It's that statement of everything in moderation, and I think one of the challenges of a leader is to know when to push and when to back off. So you had to when to be a little forceful versus empathetic and, you know, maybe demonstrating some more grace. But every situation is a little different. So a good leader assesses it and go okay, what type of leadership does this moment call for? Yeah, and it's that awareness, almost right, and learning to be a little bit versatile, because I think if you're all one all the time, you're not going to be as successful as you want. To be right, you will be in some moments, but you're going to fail miserably in others. And again, that's much easier said than done in practice, right? Molly: I mean, it's much easier said than I don't know. You know, I'm so critical of my own leadership skills. It's hard to even walk in here right now and be positive. And yet I would say I'm doing so much better than I was, and, in part, I think it's having people around me who have helped coach me to be a better leader. I've hired coaches, or I have people who've helped me through how to handle certain situations. I think tools help. It's interesting Six months ago, about a year ago we implemented this easy calendar tool so we could watch our projects and hold each other a little more accountable, and we got so crazy. We got off of using that tool and the team was like, hey, can we bring that back? Oh yeah, why do we stop doing that? And so I think when you do have tools that help you as a leader lead, they can be really useful. If they become a way for you to stop having, I think, the productive conversations and you're just kind of using it as a checklist, I think it can be dangerous, but there's ways to use all this technology and tools out there to benefit us as leaders. Sure, and I think that's something I've learned to do a little bit better in recent years. Chris: Any anything you can point to. I always like to ask this is not the fun question but failure or mistake that you experienced or encountered, that you learned from that. You're like that was a growth moment. In hindsight, man, it felt terrible, whatever I look back. And what a growth moment for me, anything you can share there, because I always find that that's such a great learning and it hopefully dispels for listeners, right, because you feel like you're the only one out there failing and he's like, no, you're not. Molly: Oh my gosh, you're going to learn from it. Yeah, and I think you know there's so much shame we only talk about our successes or people only talk about their successes, right, or it's more fun. I mean, I don't want to walk around talking about all the things I've done wrong, and this was a little while ago and I rely on it now because not everything we try. We've just released product at Central Market in June. We just yeah, super exciting. Chris: A chocolate product, a chocolate bar. Molly: We've got truffles and boots and some go to Central Market and buy our products. But also at the airports in the market, we've got some great fun Texas themed products at Intercontinental Airport. So if you're going through the airports, buy some Winfield's chocolate. So you go out there and I'm so excited right now to tell you about this. Right, we're in these great new major retailers and we're in 12 Kroger's. Well, what I'm not telling you is I've been in 15 Kroger's and now we're in 12 because we only find those. I'm not going to tell you about the three that we're not in anymore because they're not. You know, the others are doing great. Go find us at the Buffalo Kroger or the West Gray, go find us at the airport, and I'm not going to come back and be like, well, that didn't work. They never bought from us again. Which is, you work so hard to make those deals happen and get out there in the world and there's so much hustle and it may just not work. So, going back in time, I had an investor and this was a decade ago and we had opened some stores in Dallas, some Bex Prime restaurants, and one of them had failed and we were going to close it and I mean, I was devastated, ashamed, sad, all of the things, and I'd gone out and raised $2 million and I had lost that money. It was over and I had to call our investors and let them know what had happened. Phil Plant, he says so you stubbed your toe for the first time. I was like I did. He's like, yeah, you're going to keep stubbing your toe if you keep at this long enough. Chris: If you keep trying hard enough, right? Molly: If you keep trying hard enough and you keep putting these projects together and businesses. He's like you're going to have some wins and you're gonna have some losses and you're gonna stub your toe but keep going. And it meant I can't. I'm gonna cry thinking about it. He's a really great person and but that meant so much to me in that moment because I mean I had failed big time. I had the. Chris: It didn't work, you know talk about the value of having the right people around you, right? Wow, that's pretty cool. Molly: You know and with Agnes I mean that restaurant took a solid two years to take off. You know I had to go borrow some money to keep it going and now it is a place where our community meets and people love it and then it is neighborhood joy and connection. I could not be more proud of it. But I'm telling you, walking into a restaurant on a Friday night, that you have opened and convince people to give you money to open, and there there's not a single soul in the place not a single soul. Very humbling. Chris: Right, you wanted to go walk the neighborhood streets, going, come on. Molly: Yeah, and so I think you know now with my team I can, we can take the wins and the losses with a little more grace. Chris: Yeah. Molly: You know well, that didn't work. What are we going to try next? Chris: Yeah Well, I think you know it sounds like part of the culture, right, is you said? The one thing about you said as a leader is people aren't afraid to tell you no. And it sounds like you've created a culture where people aren't afraid to fail and learn from it and keep going, and that's to me a sign of a really strong culture. Molly: Well, and it's okay to say like well, that sucked. I screwed that up pretty bad. Chris: Well, we're conditioned to, like I said, we don't talk about failures. I think we're conditioned that, oh, don't talk about that, because it's got to look like it looks on Facebook and everybody's smiling and happy when we know that's not reality. And so we can get past that and just be transparent. Molly: Yeah, authentic. Chris: I think the better off we're all. Molly: But don't you think being more authentic has happened as part of post-COVID? Chris: era. Molly: Don't you think people are more open about their wins and losses? Chris: I think, so I don't know. It's kind of the chicken or the egg. I think Brene Brown started talking about it a lot more and it caught on in the corporate world and that was happening pre-COVID but close to COVID, and then with that the world goes upside down. I don't think anybody knew what. So about uncertainty, no one knew. So I think it did create a feeling of I don't know what's next and this okay to be authentic. And as we started coming out of that, then there's a lot probably exposed more in the sports world about mental health and all that kind of just built on itself, where I think we're learning it's okay and it's more acceptable to be more authentic. Right, it's a good thing, it's a great thing. Molly: It's way more fun to live in this world. I think I'm not. Fun is not the right word, it's just grounding. Chris: Yeah. Molly: It's more real. Right, I meet more real people. Chris: Agreed, agreed. So well, let's turn to a little bit more of a light side, okay, okay, so what's your favorite vacations place? Molly: Oh my gosh. Well, I'm a, I love adventure. So you know, skiing, hiking, colorado one of those Texas and Colorado type people for sure Love going down to Galveston and fishing and being on the beaches down there, and then we love to scuba dive. So hit the Caribbean. Chris: Awesome, that's all great things. Molly: I can identify with that Stay out of the sun. Chris: You're in the food business, but, and so this is my favorite question to ask every guest Do you prefer Tex-Mex or barbecue? Oh man Hardest question of the podcast. Molly: This is so hard that I might have to Gosh. You know I'm probably a barbecue person. I think I'm going to go. Chris: We have a lot of good barbecue around here. Look, it's a hard question for a reason we have a lot of good barbecue, a lot of good tex-mex. You know, I've even had people try to answer it by combining both there's not. Molly: you know, look at levi good, he's got his tex-ex and his barbecue. He's sort of doing it right, that's right, that's right. Chris: So well, I want to, you know, just wrap this up by saying thank you for coming on and sharing your journey, excited to see what you're doing. Obviously, we watched the Becks on Kirby get redone because we're right around the corner, but what you're doing with the windfield chocolate sounds exciting and uh. Hopefully, now people hear this, they'll know more about agnes and yeah, come to all of ours. Molly: You can do breakfast at agnes, lunch at beck's, dessert at windfields. Chris: You hit them all I like it, yeah, so there you go, uh kind of a full service yeah, integrated, you can do it. Them all love it it Well, Molly, thank you for coming on. Molly: Thank you for having me. Chris: Really appreciate you taking the time. Special Guest: Molly Voorhees.

This week, Jen and Pete noodle on the notion of habits, and why some might be easier to reignite than others.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:What happens when we let a habit get off track?How does our environment effect our habits?How might we keep our habits by reducing their scope?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

Hey, humans. I want to talk about something that so many of us struggle with, and that's the feeling of not being enough. This is a part three of a series called "What If". I highly recommend going back and listening to the previous two if you haven't heard them already. I know that shame spiral all too well; when my life shifted in a single moment almost ten years ago, I found myself in a very dark place, believing I was flawed and unworthy. And as Brené Brown's research shows, that's the difference between guilt—I did something bad—and shame, which is the belief that I am bad . Let me say that again: Guilt is 'I did something bad,' shame is 'I am bad'. So what if we could change that narrative? What if you truly believed, right now, that you are enough, because you already are? Your assignment this week is to find one moment, maybe even write it on your mirror like I do, and tell yourself, 'I am enough exactly as I am' . We have the power to control our own script, so let's start there. Stacie More episodes at StacieBaird.com.

In this episode, we explore the transformative journey after a breakup, focusing on how your attachment style affects your healing process. Discover practical growth strategies for anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles. Learn to reflect on past relationships, identify patterns, and implement self-soothing techniques while establishing healthy boundaries. We'll discuss fostering supportive relationships that encourage emotional vulnerability.  Tune in to turn your breakups into opportunities for personal growth and resilience, redefining your relationship with yourself and others on your path to healing! Ready to Fast-Track Your Breakup Recovery? Join my FREE upcoming webinar "How to be Happier, Healthier, and More Successful After a Breakup or Divorce."  Grab your webinar spot here: https://www.angieday.com/webinar/ Take the free quiz to discover your Relationship Attachment Style: Start the quiz here: https://www.angieday.com/free-quiz/  If you think you or someone you love may be struggling after a breakup or divorce and you'd like help with this or any other topic, feel free to reach out to me. Email me at:  angie@contactangieday.com Voicemail me at:  https://www.speakpipe.com/TheBacktoHappyPodcast

Join Pastor Tara Lamont Eastman in this enriching episode of Holy Shenanigans as she delves into the concept of wholehearted living, inspired by the actions of Captain Marvel and the wisdom of Parker Palmer and Brene Brown. Discover Parker Palmer's 'Habits of the Heart' and learn how integrating mind, body, and spirit can strengthen individuals and communities. This episode also invites listeners to participate in a Zoom discussion on the topic and offers practical questions for personal and communal reflection.Send Tara a Text MessageJoin Tara for a free online discussion about wholehearted living on Sunday, August 24 at 6 pm EST. The Wild Goose Festival is Thursday, August 28 to Sunday, August 31. It is a transformational community grounded in faith-inspired social justice. Come learn and grow by co-creating art, music, story, theater, and spectacle, and engaging in a wide variety of robust, courageous conversations with each other and with thought leaders and artists from other communities.Support the showRev. Tara Lamont Eastman is a pastor, podcaster and host of Holy Shenanigans since September of 2020. Eastman combines her love of ministry with her love of writing, music and visual arts. She is a graduate of Wartburg Theological Seminary's Theological Education for Emerging Ministry Program and the Youth and Theology Certificate Program at Princeton Seminary. She has served in various ministry and pastoral roles over the last thirty years in the ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America) and PCUSA (Presbyterian Church of America). She is the pastor of First Presbyterian Church of Warren Pennsylvania. She has presented workshops on the topics of faith and creativity at the Wild Goose Festival. She is a trainer for Soul Shop Suicide Prevention for Church Communities.

In this episode of How to Run a Successful Business (and Still Have a Life!), Stacey gets real about the evolving expectations of today’s customers and what that means for how we market, connect, and deliver our products and services. Gone are the days of long blog posts and one-size-fits-all content. Your audience is busy, savvy, and has Google at their fingertips. So how do you meet them where they are? Stacey dives into: ✨ Why your customer journey needs to be more flexible than ever✨ The critical shift from “look at me” marketing to connection-focused storytelling✨ What Dance Moms, Google reviews, and stir-frying dinner have in common (trust us on this one)✨ How to stand out by leaning into what makes you and your business different This is the first in a mini-series on deeper customer engagement because loyal customers don’t just want convenience… they want connection.

David Charlton and Duncan O'Brien discuss the emotional challenges in football, focusing on blame, shame, guilt, and anger in this week's episode of Demystifying Mental Toughness.  Duncan, influenced by Brene Brown's work, emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and collaboration in coaching.  He highlights the need for coaches to create supportive yet challenging environments, using tools like Clean Language to foster self-awareness and resilience.  They explore how emotions like shame can manifest in players, affecting their performance and behaviour.  The conversation underscores the significance of coaches communicating effectively and setting clear expectations to help players navigate stress and criticism, ultimately fostering a more supportive and effective coaching dynamic. Key Learning Points: ·        Explore using clean language techniques in football coaching to help players develop self-awareness. ·        Encourage players to ask questions of each other rather than giving direct orders or criticism during challenging situations. ·        Educate coaches and players on the difference between shame and guilt, and how to address feelings of shame in a constructive way. ·        Mistakes are common in football and pointing the fingers, blaming can lead to guilt, impacting players' confidence and bravery. ·        Vulnerability is essential to encourage courageous behaviours and collaboration, however it is dependent on the relationship and trust developed between coaches and players. Connect with Duncan O'Brien LinkedIN Connect with David Charlton Join David @ The Sports Psychology Hub Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIN Podcast Episodes To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience Ep286: Nathan Sherratt - How To Understand Neurodiversity Better In Football Refereeing Ep285: Adam Batstone - Football Coaches: How To Help Neurodiverse Players Thrive Ep249: Dr Edward Hall – Understanding Workplace Collaboration In Coaching In Team Sports Ep105: Hannah Bromley – Overcoming Psychological Challenges in Professional Women's Football Ep065: Dr Amy Izycky – Encouraging Mentally Healthy Cultures in Sport Other Valuable Resources To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience Podcasts for Sport Coach Development Cricket Psychology Resources Hockey Psychology Resources Rugby Psychology Resources Soccer Psychology Resources

For the next three weeks, we're diving into a special encore series with Jamie Winship, one of the most powerful voices we've ever featured. These conversations aren't just interviews; they're invitations. Each episode is a call to trade fear for peace, performance for identity, and isolation for union with the Lord. If you've been wrestling with pain, confusion, or the ache to live from truth instead of striving, don't miss this mini-series. It's time to unlearn the lies that keep you stuck and rediscover the wholeness you were made for. July 16: Turning Chaos into Opportunity July 23: The Lie of Being Alone, Radical Individualism, and Why Pain is Good July 30: Why Separation Creates Suffering, the Necessary Practice of Self-Emptying, and a Right View of God Then join me on August 6 for a brand-new conversation with communication expert and viral voice of reason, Jefferson Fisher. Episode Links Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

In exploring the relationship between goal setting and practicality, Jen and Pete noodle on all things related to opportunity cost and rule development.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:What is opportunity cost, and what might the fears be that surround that?How might we set a minimum engagement fee for ourselves?What are some strategies we can use to be more practical, when deciding on our goals?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo discuss the impact of assumptions on relationships and provide practical tools to replace these assumptions with clarity. Through real-life examples, they explore how silent assumptions can fuel misunderstandings and share strategies for fostering open communication and trust. Learn how to avoid common pitfalls like judging intentions, predicting behavior based on past actions, and failing to communicate expectations. Discover the importance of asking clarifying questions and using Brene Brown's technique,”the story I'm telling myself,” to improve your relationships.  Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts :  Dr. Brene Brown, Esther Perel Resources :  Dare to Lead by Dr. Brene Brown https://brenebrown.com/hubs/dare-to-lead/ Esther Perel https://www.estherperel.com 

When you're ‘not quite ready’ to raise prices, hire more team members, up that advertising spend… What’s the hidden toll? How to recognise the subtle ways shrinking back is costing you visibility and revenue. Playing bigger doesn’t have to be reckless, today's episode is about choosing discomfort on purpose. About the power of small, strategic risks that move you forward: raising prices by 10%, hiring a VA for 5 hours a week, or investing in a professional development opportunity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Unlock the Power of Self-Validation    Inspired by a recent therapy session, in this solo episode of 'Don't Cut Your Own Bangs,' Danielle Ireland explores the practice of self-validation. She shares insights on how to validate your own experiences, calm your nervous system, and push back against self-doubt. The episode includes practical examples, journaling tips, and real-life applications, making it a valuable resource for anyone looking to strengthen their self-awareness and emotional well-being.   RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE TO “DON'T CUT YOUR OWN BANGS”  Like your favorite recipe or song, the best things in life are shared. When you rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, your engagement helps me connect  with other listeners just like you. Plus, subscriptions just make life easier for everybody. It's one less thing for you to think about and you can easily keep up to date on everything that's new. So, please rate, review, and subscribe today.  DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below. Connect with Danielle: Watch the show on YouTube Instagram The Treasured Journal Wrestling a Walrus   00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 00:12 Understanding Self-Validation 01:00 Practical Examples of Validation 02:12 Benefits of Validation 03:11 Self-Validation Techniques 05:39 Journaling for Self-Discovery 06:49 Client Story and Real-Life Application 07:57 Navigating Uncertainty with Self-Validation 10:22 The Power of Truth in Self-Validation 15:41 Children's Book and Emotional Education 16:56 Conclusion and Listener Engagement   Self Validation Solocast [00:00:00] Danielle: Hello. Hello. This is Danielle Ireland and you are listening to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs. And today I'm coming at you [00:00:07] Hello. Hello, this is Danielle Ireland and you are listening to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs. And today I'm coming at you with a tasty little treat, a little snack of a solo cast, we're gonna talk about validating the self, how this is a practice that you can do on your own, in your mind, in a journal. You can take this anywhere with you, and it is a fabulous tool to regulate the nervous system. [00:00:32] To calm down the chatter of self-doubt, those that overwhelming spiraling self-talk that we can get lost in. And I'm gonna talk about what validation is and what it's not, and how you can actually practice this in your own life. It came out of a really powerful therapy session that I gave this week, and almost as soon as I signed off of that call, my first thought was, oh dang, I need to share this. [00:00:56] So here we are validating the self. Simply put it is naming your experience. If we were thinking about it in terms of relationships, if it was me communicating with somebody else, validation is that I can hold space. I can see the reality and the truth of your experience, and I can honor that as true for you. [00:01:22] So for example, if. With my four, my 4-year-old daughter, for example, I can see for her experience, you really want a Popsicle. You really want a Popsicle right now, and I'm telling you it's time to go down for a nap. You're really upset that I told you you're not gonna get a Popsicle, and I can see how hard that is for you. [00:01:43] I'm validating that you are having an emotional experience that is different from me. In this moment, even though we're having, we're in the same room, right? We're breathing the same air, but you're having a very different experience than me, and I can see that is true and that is real for you. That is just a silly, small example. [00:02:05] Although it's based on very real, very real experiences. But that is how we can offer validation for somebody else. The benefit of doing that for someone else is it lets them know that they're not crazy. It's not just in their head. It's all of the invalidating language that I'm sure we are all very familiar with. [00:02:26] Like you're being dramatic. You're being over the top. Calm down. It's not that big a deal. You just need to get over it. You're not being logical, too emotional. Those are all ways that we can be invalidated, that we have been invalidated, and that we can invalidate somebody else. So to repeat what validation is, is I can see the truth of your experiences based on the circumstances that are before you. [00:02:55] You, there's something you really want. There's something that you didn't get your experiences, you're disappointed and upset. You're telling me you don't wanna go to bed, and I can see that is true for you, and I can hold space for myself for having a different experience. So now we're talking about validating the self, and I'll talk about how you can also do that outside of an interaction with somebody. [00:03:18] In my experience, my daughter's upset. She's screaming about a Popsicle. She's telling me she doesn't wanna go down for a nap. She's telling me she's not tired. And then here's my experience. Here's what I know. What I know is it's 1230 I. You normally go down for a nap at 12, you're already getting tired. [00:03:36] I've seen you rubbing your eyes. I've been down this road with you many times before. I know it's hard for you to stop having fun when you wanna keep having fun, and I also know I'll pay for it later. If I don't get you down for a nap. There's likely gonna be a meltdown later. So my experience is I'm witnessing the emotional eruption and upheaval. [00:04:00] Of having to tell you, no, you can't have a Popsicle, and yes, you are going down for a nap. That's stressful for me. This isn't what I want either. What I want is to just give you what you want so that I can go chill and read my book [00:04:14] I don't wanna deal with a tantrum. This is hard for me to, I know that it's the right thing to do, so I'm going to do it anyway. And I also know that you are for. And your brain is only developed four years, and your job is to want what you want. And my job is to do the best I can to take care of your beautiful brain and body. [00:04:35] So I can honor that. That is my experience, and I'm not making her responsible for my experience because she's entitled to have her own. And it's very different than mine, even though we're breathing the same air, we're in the same space. I can regulate myself and I can regulate my own nervous system. [00:04:53] By honoring, you're doing what you know is right, you're doing the best you can in this moment. You're frustrated too. You're disappointed too. You don't like dealing with this either. You wish this were easier, all of those things that are true. And each time I allow myself to acknowledge the truth of my experience to myself, even if it's just in my own mind. [00:05:19] I can feel what I actually physiologically experience, I physically experience like tingles in my legs. That must be a way that my nervous system is letting me know that it's calming down, but I breathe and I'm speaking the truth for myself to myself. That always puts me in a clearer frame of mind. [00:05:39] If you've ever wanted to start a journaling practice but didn't know where to start, or if you've been journaling off and on your whole life, but you're like, I wanna take this work deeper, I've got you covered. I've written a journal called Treasured, a Journal for unearthing you. It's broken down into seven key areas of your life, filled with stories, sentence stems, prompts, questions, and exercises. [00:05:58] All rooted in the work that I do with actual clients in my therapy sessions. I have given these examples to clients in sessions as homework, and they come back with insights that allow us to do such incredible work. This is something you can do in the privacy of your own home, whether you're in therapy or not. [00:06:17] It has context, it has guides. And hopefully some safety bumpers to help digging a little deeper feel possible, accessible and safe. You don't have to do this alone. And there's also a guided treasured meditation series that accompanies each section in the journal to help ease you into the processing state. [00:06:36] My hope is to help guide you into feeling more secure with the most important relationship in your life, the one between you and you. Hop on over to the show notes and grab your copy today. And now back to the episode. [00:06:49] Danielle: so in this session with a client where this concept came out, this was one of those moments where. My client, had just made a really, really hard decision about her life and her family, and she was in that really tender early stage of making a new decision where there's a fork in the road and you're starting down this new path based on the new choice that you've just made. [00:07:18] You're not so far down the road. It's like you're almost walking parallel paths before they really start to split off into a v and I'm making these new steps forward, but it's hard and it's scary and it's new. [00:07:33] This is definitely unknown. And then I can still see the well worn path next to me that I. Could have been on if I had just stayed the same. And it's in that space where validating the self can be. If you find yourself in a similar couple steps past a fork in the road moment, this too may be really impactful for you. [00:07:57] And it's not about knowing. The outcome of your choice, because that is impossible. It's so easy to just try to get our hooks into something that feels safe and sturdy and stable. But all you know, I'm here. I've made this decision. This is hard. This is scary, this is new. [00:08:22] And even though you're not making a false promise to yourself, and you may actually be admitting something that's hard, like this is really challenging, I feel really uncertain. I don't know what tomorrow's gonna bring. I feel lost those statements. It's not false hope, and it's not toxic positivity. [00:08:42] You're not trying to spin the truth into something palatable. You're letting the truth exist, and you're also making the statement with a period at the end of the sentence, I feel lost. I don't know what to do tomorrow. I'm here. I've done it. I'm scared. It's a statement and then it, there's a period at the end of that sentence. [00:09:07] Each time you do your own version of that, which is self validation, your nervous system calms down. There is this activation that can happen with anxiety and self-doubt, especially when we feel lost. Our mind is looking for certainty, and so it'll start asking us questions and in particular questions like, why? [00:09:35] Why did this happen to me? Why are they doing this? Why aren't they calling me back? Why aren't they texting me? And the problem with those types of questions phrased in that particular way, you're asking yourself questions that you can't know the answer to. That will activate more anxiety because more questions you can't know the answer to will lead to more questions you can't know the answer to, and you will start to experience that as dread and doom and or you will also very likely, and this is referencing Brene Brown, here, you will insert your worst fear with your uncertainty, like your uncertainty gaps of knowledge and understanding. [00:10:13] I'm just gonna insert the worst fears I have about myself or the worst possible outcome I can think of. This does not help your nervous system. This does not help you feel safe. Validating the self. It's not false hope, it's not toxic positivity. It is to the simplest, most base way you can say it. [00:10:31] What is the truest thing? The truest thing about what you're experiencing in this moment and let it exist. Take a breath. [00:10:40] Say the thing, and it might be a hard thing. It also might be a simple thing. It might be, I don't know, but even saying you don't know is radically different for your brain and body in terms of being able to regulate and deescalate. Saying you don't know is different than asking a question you cannot answer and. [00:11:04] Sometimes, I don't know, is the truest thing you can access, but I can guarantee you, even though I probably shouldn't be making a guarantee, I can guarantee you, you say you don't know and you take a beat. You follow up with, well, what do I know? You will have an answer. I promise you will have an answer. [00:11:25] What I know is I can't go back. What I know is I made the best possible decision I could in the moment. What I know is I'm here. What I know is I'm breathing. I'm sitting in a chair. What I know is I can feel my blanket on my lap whatever it is. If you sit with the unknown and you let it exist for just a couple of breaths, something will reveal itself to you, and this is why self validation can be so powerful. [00:12:00] Your body responds to truth. So just a little information about lie detector tests. They don't detect lies. There's actually no way to measure physiologically a lie. What lie detectors measure is your body's stress response. Most of us, not all, some people can hijack the system, especially if people have low empathy. [00:12:22] That are affected by lies or it's not practiced out of them. But I would say for the majority of us, when we speak something that isn't true in our mind or allowed, our heart rate will raise, perspiration will increase, and your body will have a reaction to stress. So when you speak the truth, whatever that truth may be, there is a reason why. [00:12:50] When I am in a session with somebody and either it comes out of my mouth or it's their own knowing in the moment when the truth is known, it stabilizes you. And sometimes it is a really hard hard truth, but the truth, no matter how hard it's the right kind of hard and arguably more. Certain and more safe than any well told pretty half truth. [00:13:24] And if anybody who has either been in therapy or had, you know what Oprah calls an aha moment, it's like you go, oh, that's what it is. That's the thing I haven't let myself see for so long. That's the thing I've been afraid to admit or say for years, and now it's here. And there's often work to do after, but what we're talking about is in that moment when the truth is spoken, your body relaxes. [00:13:56] The shoulders come down the jaw on clinches, the pressure in the chest releases the legs. For me, tingle a little. The truth is settling and calming to the nervous system. And what validation is not is feeling somebody else's feelings, knowing somebody's experience For them, it is acknowledging that there can be more than one truth that exists in any given moment, and yours matters as much as anybody else's, but validating the self. [00:14:33] We're really just talking about you. There is a truth to your experience that only you know, and when you admit that truth to yourself, it will set you free. What I encourage you to do, grab a journal, a blank piece of paper, or take a voice memo app on your phone and go for a walk if there is something that you're wrestling with a conversation you keep having with somebody in your mind, or a memory that your mind keeps going back to, there's almost always a thought that catches up to us when we're in those calm, relaxed, stable moments. [00:15:07] So when a thought like that sneaks up on you, grab your pen and paper, grab your journal. Maybe it's the Treasure Journal. [00:15:13] Take a breath and ask yourself what is true about this for me? If the answer is you don't know, that's okay. Start with you don't know. I don't know. I don't know yet. I don't know. I'm gonna figure it out though. I don't know. But what if I did know? If I had to say something about this, what would that be? [00:15:37] Then take another breath and see what comes. [00:15:41] When I set out to write a book, I only knew two things. One was I wanted to make big feelings, feel less scary and more approachable, and I wanted to bring some lightness to the feelings themselves. What I know to be true as a therapist is that emotions are energy in motion. They have information to tell you to inform the next right step to take and self-doubt, fear, anxiety, live in that space between knowing and not knowing. [00:16:05] The second thing I knew was that I wanted to have fun in the process of making. This thing. The result is this wrestling a walrus for little people with big feelings, beautifully illustrated children's book that has a glossary at the end for some of the bigger feeling words. What this story does in a light and loving way is create context for those relationships. [00:16:25] You can't change those people that you wish would treat you different. The things in life that we cannot control and yet we face that are hard. This book, it's a conversation starter for any littles in your life. Who want to create more safety and love and patience for some of those experiences. So hop one over to the show notes. [00:16:43] You can pick it up@amazon.com, barge de noble.com or my website. I hope that you do because I believe in this little book. I freaking love this little book, and I cannot wait to hear your experience with it. Thanks so much for listening and get back to the episode. [00:16:56] Danielle: Thank you so much for joining me on this little nugget episode of Don't Cut Your Own Bangs. I love sharing these insights here with you and your time and attention here mean more to me than you could possibly know. This is such. Such a joy and such a pleasure. [00:17:13] So I want to hear from you. Let me know. What did you think of this concept? What questions do you have about it that you would like me to help answer? I want to continue to grow this conversation with you. The best things in life are shared, and so being able to share this space is an absolute joy for me. [00:17:31] A 10 outta 10. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. And before you hop off, I wanna invite you to take a look at the show notes because there are always links and resources for you. Whether it's resources that I offer or when I'm in interviews with other guests, links to their amazing content too. [00:17:47] So make sure to check that out before you hop away. And please remember to rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. It is the best way to help this podcast reach other people that could benefit from it too. It helps it grow and we can just continue to build things together. Thank you so much for being here, and I hope that you continue to have a wonderful day. [00:18:05] ​

You've been taught vulnerability is strength, but what if that's half the truth—and it's costing you more than you realize? This week, DawnCheré Wilkerson joins me to dismantle the hidden toll of isolation. She shares how walking through infertility, life's furnace, and unsurfaced grief fractures the soul, and how secrets rob you of belonging before you even realize it. DawnCheré exposes why vulnerability isn't a spotlight; it's a sanctuary that demands integrity. She unpacks the orphan spirit every believer must resist, warns against idolizing therapy as the endpoint, and offers a path forward: a refusal to run, safety in community, and the spiritual grit to stay alive. If you're tired of pretending you're fine…if your pain feels invisible…and if you've mistaken therapy for healing, this episode is your call to come home. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

This week, Jen tells Pete all about her new hobby, and together they dive in to the positive aspects of snorkeling on land.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:What lessons from snorkeling in the sea can be brought to land?What are some areas we may take for granted in our lives?How might we renew our curiosity and observance of our surroundings?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

In this episode of Grow a Small Business, host Troy Trewin interviews Nicola Mason, co-founder of Smitten Merino, shares how she built a thriving Tasmanian fashion brand from her dining table to a $4M business with 30 staff. Using premium Merino wool, they've championed local manufacturing and sustainability, growing through clever strategies like authentic, personal email marketing. Nicola talks about navigating challenges during COVID, balancing rapid growth with family life, and how resilience and creativity turned their dream into a lasting success story. Why would you wait any longer to start living the lifestyle you signed up for? Balance your health, wealth, relationships and business growth. And focus your time and energy and make the most of this year. Let's get into it by clicking here. Troy delves into our guest's startup journey, their perception of success, industry reconsideration, and the pivotal stress point during business expansion. They discuss the joys of small business growth, vital entrepreneurial habits, and strategies for team building, encompassing wins, blunders, and invaluable advice. And a snapshot of the final five Grow A Small Business Questions: What do you think is the hardest thing in growing a small business? According to Nicola Mason, the hardest thing in growing a small business is making sure you don't damage family relationships along the way—especially in a family-run business. Balancing intense work demands with family harmony takes real intention. What's your favorite business book that has helped you the most? Nicola Mason shares that The E-Myth was one of the first business books that truly helped her, alongside Brene Brown's work on vulnerability and leadership, and she recently found Hanging by a Thread by Erin Dearing particularly relevant. Are there any great podcasts or online learning resources you'd recommend to help grow a small business? According to Nicola Mason, some of the best resources to help grow a small business include the Grow a Small Business Podcast, Diary of a CEO, Huberman Lab, and anything by Brene Brown. She finds these not only practical but also inspiring for both business strategy and personal development. What tool or resource would you recommend to grow a small business? Nicola Mason believes the best “tool” for growing a small business isn't software or tech, but the qualities of passion and resilience—showing up every day, even when it's tough. What advice would you give yourself on day one of starting out in business? Nicola Mason would tell herself on day one to keep going, hold onto the dream, trust the vision, and know that despite the setbacks, it truly will work out in the end. Book a 20-minute Growth Chat with Troy Trewin to see if you qualify for our upcoming course. Don't miss out on this opportunity to take your small business to new heights! Enjoyed the podcast? Please leave a review on iTunes or your preferred platform. Your feedback helps more small business owners discover our podcast and embark on their business growth journey.     Quotable quotes from our special Grow A Small Business podcast guest: Layer up in wool, layer up in courage — both will get you through the cold days — Nicola Mason Our customers don't just wear our clothes — they become part of our family story — Nicola Mason If you love what you do, you'll keep reinventing, even when the world wobbles — Nicola Mason  

You've been told therapy is the answer to everything. That if you just unpack hard enough, you'll finally be free. But what if that's not the full story? This week, Terry Crist joins me to challenge beliefs that cause deeper destruction. He's seen how long-standing secrets fracture the soul, how the orphan spirit grows in Christian homes, and how many believers never outgrow wounded identity, even into legacy years. In this conversation, Terry decodes why running away from truth never works, how idolizing therapy can drain godly authority, and why healing is never finished, even if you've been in the room for decades. He brings the fight where healing meets holiness, and shows how to refuse lie-lay, stop hiding, and step into belonging. If you've ever carried a secret, felt disconnected in the Church, or believed your wounds had an expiry date, you need to hear this episode. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

This week, Pete and Jen noodle on the practice of question and answer sessions, including their importance and the possible fears surrounding the unknown.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:What are some tactics and tips to host a successful question and answer session?How might we answer a question that we may not know the answer to?How might hearing questions from your audience allow you to gauge what is most important to address?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

In this solo episode, I'm reflecting on something my therapist said that really stuck with me: Does this align with your values? That question has been guiding everything lately—whether it's thinking about having a third baby, how I handle conflict, where I want to live, or how I show up in relationships. I talk through how I'm defining my core values (with a little help from Brene Brown), what it's like parenting two very different kids, why I'm rethinking LA, and why being single is actually a vibe when you do it right. This is a flowy, heart-centered catch-up—and I hope it helps you reconnect with yourself, too.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of Currently Reading, Kaytee and Meredith are discussing: Bookish Moments: reading at the beach and sisterly bookish tattoos Current Reads: all the great, interesting, and/or terrible stuff we've been reading lately Deep Dive: all the ins and outs of morning reading The Fountain: we visit our perfect fountain to make wishes about our reading lives Show notes are time-stamped below for your convenience. Read the transcript of the episode (this link only works on the main site) .  .  .  .  4:12 - Our Bookish Moments Of The Week 4:35 - God of the Woods by Liz Moore 5:23 - Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver 6:31 - Literally A Bookshop 1:37 - Our Bookish Moments Of The Week 7:02 - Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown 9:45 - Our Current Reads 10:03 - Ascension by Nicholas Binge (Meredith) 13:55 - Dark Matter by Blake Crouch 13:56 - Recursion by Blake Crouch 14:06 - The Anomaly by Herve Le Tellier 15:20 - Love and Saffron by Kim Fay 15:38 - Great Big Beautiful Life by Emily Henry (Kaytee) 17:44 - The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid 17:48 - The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield  19:49 - Hearts Strange and Dreadful by Tim McGregor (Meredith) 20:59 - 101 Horror Books to Read Before You're Murdered by Sadie Hartmann 26:11 - Stolen Focus by Johann Hari (Kaytee) 26:14 - The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt 26:17 - CR Season 7: Episode 40 31:40 - The Correspondent by Virginia Evans (Meredith) 37:20 - Amari and the Despicable Wonders by B.B. Alston (Kaytee) 41:58 - All About Morning Reading 43:25 - The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron 50:48 - Jobs to be Done by David Farber 50:59 - The Six Types of Working Genius by Patrick Lencioni 55:30 - Meet Us At The Fountain 57:38 - If you are interested in adding to your bookish life, do it in the form of a book club. (Meredith) 59:34 - I co-sign Meredith's wish this week! (Kaytee) Support Us: Become a Bookish Friend | Grab Some Merch Shop Bookshop dot org | Shop Amazon Bookish Friends Receive: The Indie Press List with a curated list of five books hand sold by the indie of the month. June's IPL is brought to us by one of our anchor stores, Schuler Books in Michigan Love and Chili Peppers with Kaytee and Rebekah - romance lovers get their due with this special episode focused entirely on the best selling genre fiction in the business.  All Things Murderful with Meredith and Elizabeth - special content for the scary-lovers, brought to you with the behind-the-scenes insights of an independent bookseller From the Editor's Desk with Kaytee and Bunmi Ishola - a quarterly peek behind the curtain at the publishing industry The Bookish Friends Facebook Group - where you can build community with bookish friends from around the globe as well as our hosts Connect With Us: The Show: Instagram | Website | Email | Threads The Hosts and Regulars: Meredith | Kaytee | Mary | Roxanna Production and Editing: Megan Phouthavong Evans Affiliate Disclosure: All affiliate links go to Bookshop unless otherwise noted. Shopping here helps keep the lights on and benefits indie bookstores. Thanks for your support!