Podcast appearances and mentions of brene brown

This week, Jen shares an aha moment with Pete that she learned during the intensive process of caramelizing onions.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:Why might efficiency not always be the best route to an end goal?What can we learn by practicing patience, and not rushing?What are some tactics for continuing with a project when it seems uncertain?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

This week, we're concluding a special encore series with Jamie Winship, one of the most powerful voices we've ever featured. These conversations aren't just interviews; they're invitations. Each episode is a call to trade fear for peace, performance for identity, and isolation for union with the Lord. If you've been wrestling with pain, confusion, or the ache to live from truth instead of striving, don't miss this mini-series. It's time to unlearn the lies that keep you stuck and rediscover the wholeness you were made for. July 16: Turning Chaos into Opportunity July 23: The Lie of Being Alone, Radical Individualism, and Why Pain is Good July 30: Why Separation Creates Suffering, the Necessary Practice of Self-Emptying, and a Right View of God Then join me August 6 for a brand-new conversation with communication expert and viral voice of reason, Jefferson Fisher. Episode Links Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

In this episode, we delve into the complex topic of how societal expectations have shaped men's emotional growth and identity. Hosts discuss the historical transformation of male stereotypes, the struggle for emotional balance, and the significant impact of gender roles on personal development. Key insights include integrating both 'Alpha' and 'Omega' energies and the importance of living authentically. The conversation also touches on biblical examples and provides practical steps for men to expand their emotional range. This discussion aims to support men in becoming their fullest selves, benefiting not only their own growth but also their relationships.00:00 Introduction and Purpose00:33 The Emotional Struggles of Men00:59 Societal Expectations and Changes02:17 Brene Brown's Insight on Men03:18 The Role of Emotions in Men04:06 Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies05:30 Living Authentically11:22 The Example of King David14:16 Practical Steps for Emotional Growth22:10 The Example of Jesus26:12 Final Thoughts and Encouragement27:49 Conclusion and Contact InformationAbout Our GuestDr. Mark A. Hicks is an author, speaker, ghostwriter, and relationships coach with expertise in mental health and family dynamics. Holding a Doctor of Ministry Degree, a Masters in Mental Health Counseling, a Masters of Divinity, and a Bachelors in Psychology, his educational background reflects his unwavering commitment to understanding the human psyche and guiding individuals toward healthy relationships and meaningful lives.Mark's goal is to spread a message of love that is practical, tangible, and a realistic life for everyone regardless of your relationship experience so far. In his book, Learning Love, he teaches the five components of love anyone can learn and practice to build healthy, happy, thriving relationships.

This week, Jen and Pete focus on appreciation being an added bonus, and not an intention, in creating a project or developing an idea.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:How might we think about appreciation, in relationship to our work?In what ways might we unintentionally be working for an outcome of appreciation? How might we shift our thinking towards solving problems and showing up through our work?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

In this heartfelt and reflective episode, Julie Beem and Ginger Healy return to a profound conversation from Season 1 with the late Cissy White—trauma survivor, fierce advocate, and the originator of the term Joy Stalking.As the world faces rising despair and isolation, Julie and Ginger explore what it means to stalk, savor, and sustain joy—especially in the face of pain, trauma, and fear. Drawing from Cissy's wisdom, Brene Brown's research, theological insights, and their own personal journeys, they unpack how joy can be a radical act of healing and resistance.You'll discover why joy is not the same as happiness, how trauma can block joy, and why cultivating even the tiniest moments of joy might just be one of the most important things we can do—for ourselves, our children, and our communities.“Joy stalking is always healing and useful. It's about savoring life through sensing, using my body, absorbing, feeling all the good stuff.” — Cissy White“Joy isn't the opposite of sadness. It's the opposite of fear.” — Anne Robertson via Brené Brown“Joy doesn't betray but sustains activism… joy is a fine initial act of insurrection.” — Rebecca Solnit“We can't experience joy when we're scanning for danger. Trauma blocks joy—but healing invites it back in.” — Julie & Ginger

In this follow-up to last week's conversation, Stacey dives deeper into what real business growth actually looks like and spoiler alert, it’s not always sexy. It’s vulnerable. It’s uncomfortable. And it requires way more than just shouting “I want more customers!” In this episode, you’ll learn: ✨ Why growth doesn’t just “happen” (unless you’re Rihanna at the Super Bowl)✨ The three key levers to pull when you're ready to grow: Innovation, Customer Relationships, and Communication✨ How to meet your customers where they actually are (hint: it’s not just in your newsletter)✨ Why vulnerability is a business superpower and what happens when you embrace it From early business missteps (anyone else wanted to print “Have you read the newsletter?” t-shirts?) to failed offers that taught big lessons, Stacey keeps it raw, real, and relatable. Ready to grow? This episode will help you do it with intention, resilience, and a whole lot of heart.

In Week 3 of our series, we explore what it means to live with integrity—choosing courage over comfort and practicing our values in real life. Through the story of Ruth and Brene Brown's Living BIG framework, we reflect on how integrity strengthens meaningful relationships, especially in hard moments. Find out more about Storied Church @ STORIEDCHURCH.org TO GIVE storiedchurch.org/give JOIN SC DISCORD: https://discord.gg/XuVCyZZ3 JOIN OUR LISTSERVE: storiedchurch.org/connect instagram.com/storiedchurch facebook.com/storiedchurch YouTube: @storiedchurch921

We're continuing a special encore series with Jamie Winship, one of the most powerful voices we've ever featured. These conversations aren't just interviews; they're invitations. Each episode is a call to trade fear for peace, performance for identity, and isolation for union with the Lord. If you've been wrestling with pain, confusion, or the ache to live from truth instead of striving, don't miss this mini-series. It's time to unlearn the lies that keep you stuck and rediscover the wholeness you were made for. July 16: Turning Chaos into Opportunity July 23: The Lie of Being Alone, Radical Individualism, and Why Pain is Good July 30: Why Separation Creates Suffering, the Necessary Practice of Self-Emptying, and a Right View of God Then join me on August 6 for a brand-new conversation with communication expert and viral voice of reason, Jefferson Fisher. Episode Links Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

In this episode of "Building Texas Business," I sit down with Molly Voorhees, the president of Beck's Prime, Winfield's Chocolate Bar, and Agnes Cafe. Molly shares her journey from Silicon Valley back to her roots in Houston's culinary scene. She talks about how her passion for food and community has shaped her approach to running family-run businesses and the importance of customer service. We explore the challenges of maintaining a successful family business, emphasizing the importance of respecting individual expertise and fostering a collaborative environment. Molly discusses how she integrates technology into operations, which can be challenging for mid-sized companies. Her experiences provide insight into the practical hurdles of implementing new systems while maintaining efficiency. Molly also reflects on the entrepreneurial spirit in Texas, particularly in Houston, where local businesses benefit from a supportive community. She shares how this environment has been beneficial, despite the uncertainties and challenges in the business world. Her approach to leadership involves patience and listening to her team, allowing them to voice their opinions and ideas. The conversation also touches on the importance of authenticity and resilience in business. Molly shares how facing challenges early on, like financial struggles and an empty restaurant, taught her valuable lessons. She emphasizes the importance of mental health awareness in corporate culture and maintaining open dialogue about success and failure. As Molly looks forward to upcoming projects, she invites listeners to experience the culinary adventures that celebrate innovation and community. SHOW HIGHLIGHTS   Molly shares her journey from Silicon Valley back to Houston, taking on leadership roles in Beck's Prime, Winfield's Chocolate Bar, and Agnes Cafe, emphasizing her passion for food and community. The episode explores her innovative approach to maintaining high standards in Beck's Prime while expanding into the chocolate business, highlighting the importance of customer service and community connection. Listeners gain insights into managing a family-run business, where respecting individual expertise and fostering collaboration are essential for effective decision-making and business success. We discuss the integration of technology in operations, acknowledging the challenges faced by mid-sized companies and the potential for improved efficiency through technological advancements. The supportive entrepreneurial spirit in Houston is highlighted, showcasing how local businesses benefit from a community eager to see them succeed, even amidst ongoing challenges and uncertainties. Her reflections on entrepreneurship emphasize authenticity, resilience, and mental health awareness in corporate culture, encouraging open dialogue about success and failure. Excitement for upcoming projects is shared, inviting listeners to join in a culinary adventure that celebrates innovation and community in Houston's vibrant food scene. LINKSShow Notes Previous Episodes About BoyarMiller About Beck's Prime GUESTS Molly VoorheesAbout Molly TRANSCRIPT (AI transcript provided as supporting material and may contain errors) Chris: In this episode you will meet Molly Voorhees, president of Beck's Prime, winfield's Chocolate Bar and Agnes Cafe. Molly shares her passion for bringing people together over quality food and service and how, in difficult times, she looks for the next right thing to do to keep the company moving forward. Molly, I want to thank you for coming on Building Texas Business. Thanks for coming in today. Molly: Thank you for having me Excited to be here. Chris: So we have a lot to talk about with you because you cover a lot of areas. So let's start Just tell everyone kind of what it is you do, the companies that you're involved in and what they're known for. Molly: So we started Beck's Prime back in 1985. I was just 10 years old so I did not start it, but my dad, a lawyer, winn Campbell, and an operating partner, a guy named Mike Knapp, started it together. And really my dad, winn, loves food and grew up in the burger business in Dallas. Chris: Ok, what was the burger place in Dallas? Molly: It was golf. Chris: I've had lots of golf, yeah, so he was 14. Molly: He tells some fantastic stories about, you know, his first day on the job, cutting onions and being a human trash compactor and sort of all the love, and ended up getting a law degree. But always loved the food industry, always wanted to be in it and came up with the concept of Vex Prime in 1985. I convinced a lot of people to gamble with him and invest and that was the very first Vex Prime on Kirby. Chris: OK. Molly: I was 10, just kid watching, watching it all happen, while I, you know, played sports and did all the things you do and went to college, ended up in um tech out in silicon valley for a long time during the the boom and bust period okay and which was fun went to business school and then wanted to to come back and be in the restaurant industry and grow it. Food is fun. It's very personal. I had sold being in tech. You're not selling something that brings necessarily as much moment-to-moment joy as feeding people Okay, necessarily as much moment to moment joy as feeding people. And I really felt like with Beck's Prime we had something great and then it was time to grow it and so I've moved back here in 2006, back to Houston, and we started growing and building more Beck's Prime and then we took over the management five years ago, chocolate bar and rebranded that Winfield's chocolate bar and built a factory and new stores and now we're selling wholesale and corporate gifting. And then we have a little side concept that I did with a friend called Agnes. Chris: Okay. Molly: Agnes Cafe and Provisions. Chris: Oh, we're off the internet, right. And that was my crazy covid baby I was. Molly: I thought everyone wanted to get back to work and we needed to create jobs and he's desperate for community and the restaurant industry to come back. And there was a restaurant that had closed there and decided to open up a neighborhood cafe with a friend who was crazy enough to say yes when I brought her the idea and we opened Agnes four years ago in June and it is a local neighborhood favorite. Chris: That's great. That's great. So original inspiration, I guess obviously is your dad, and being exposed to the business Great. So original inspiration I guess obviously is your dad and being exposed to the business. What was it that got you to kind of branch into chocolate, because that's much different than kind of a full service meal concept. Well, in theory it was going to be easier. Molly: Famous last words. Famous last words. You know, I love how food brings people together and what we do at Beck's Prime is really hard, which is, you know, you walk up to the window or you drive through our drive-thru and I mean we are cut, grinding and patting all the burgers every day. Nothing's frozen. I mean we're cutting those French fries it is busy back there and we're going to get you a made from scratch meal in eight to ten minutes. And that's hard. So I thought, okay, let's be in the food business, but let's scoop ice cream and cut cakes and sell chocolate. Um, well, when we took the business, they weren't doing the highest quality version of that. So I was like, okay, well, I'm going to apply the Beck's Prime model to it and I'm going to make it all really high quality and we're going to make all of our own cakes and ice cream. And so now I've made it as hard or harder than go back to your roots. I mean, nothing is easy. Chris: Right Molly: But yeah, I think they're similar in the sense of how you manage a restaurant, all of the different services, and how you buy food and how you work on cleanliness and operations. So there's a lot of similarities. Chris: And, I would think, critically important to people you hire to be customer-facing. Right, to make that experience, the food's got to be great, but if the people aren't great as well, right, you have to get both right. Molly: Yeah, and there's actually some evidence that the people matter more than the food. So you'll be surprised the number of text messages I get and there's some science behind this too, not just anecdotal. But oh my gosh, that guy over at Memorial Park. Or the cute drive-thru cashier over there at Kirby who always gets my sandwich right and says, hello, I love her so much, she loves my dog. There's nothing about what they ate or if they enjoyed their meal or it tasted good. It's the people. So you know, I think that part we've done well, which is why we're still in business. Chris: So let's kind of go down that route a little bit. What is it that you have done? I guess it that you have done, I guess first at Beck's and now at Winfield chocolate to focus on getting the hiring right, the processes you put in place, what did mistakes you made that you learned from, kind of. To me that is the key to the kingdom and I think our listeners could learn a lot from what you've done to put such a good system in place to get the right people. Molly: So it's interesting. I think the basics matter right how we treat people every day. I think we've always done that really well inside of our team how we hire. So when we hire managers, we will never hire a general manager for a store. We will only hire an assistant manager and then they can move up to a general manager. But when we hire, we actually take a team member through a number of different steps. You know. Obviously they interview with our management team, they interview with other managers, they interview with the other managers, then they'll do a shadows shift where they'll come and work a shift with the team. So we're really trying to make sure we get people who see themselves working in our environment. Chris:Right. Molly: Right. If you don't, if you want to be a white tablecloth restaurant manager or employee, we're not the right place. So sometimes people will come and they'll spend a shadow shift with us and they don't want to be in the environment. And then we'll also ask them. We'll give them dinner passes and we'll say bring a loved one to lunch or dinner with you here. And we'll say bring a loved one to lunch or dinner with you here. And that test is does somebody who's close to you see you working here? Chris: Oh yeah. Molly: You know, and so we try to help employees find a couple touch points so that they know whether or not, culturally, we're a good fit for them. But from my perspective it's really interesting. I think we have incredibly loyal long-term team members who've been with us forever. If you ever go in one of our stores, you'll see these posters that celebrate, you know, 5, 10, 15, 20, 40 years of with us. People are like, oh my gosh, those people have been with you for so long and I'm like, well, those are just the people on the poster that year. Right, and really I think it comes down to basic manners, boundaries, respect, helping each other. But just treating people as you would want to be treated goes a really long way. Chris: Yeah, like I said, that's the basics right, and to have that longevity in your industry is remarkable. Molly: Transparency, kind but also clear. Hey, this is how this needs to happen, Not having policies. We're not a big policy company. Chris: I love that because. I feel, the same way. I think. As soon as you create a policy, then all you're dealing with is all the reasons there should be an exception to the policy. Exactly so just treat people humanly, and humanely and reasonably. Molly: Yeah, and if we need to figure it out we will. But you know, if we had a policy that you know you can't take care of a customer if it's going to cost us more than $15. Let's say we had some limit, or something. And that would just be such a buffer. And it turns out the manager who's trying to take care of the customers all of a sudden handcuffed Right Right, and they just want the ability to do the right thing. Chris: Right. Molly: They're in the service business. People don't go into the service business unless you enjoy serving people. Chris: Well, and if you know, I think if you're watching your business, if someone's abusing a system, you'll see it and that's not a policy issue or lack of policy issue, that's a character issue, right, that surfaces, that you maybe didn't catch in the hiring process. I also like what you said because I think I'm hearing more of this in the corporate world the experimental part of the interview process where you you put someone in a skills assessment situation. So you said the shadow session or whatever. I know we're trying to do that and assessing skill. You know it's one thing to ask questions and be you know in a conversation, but people's skill sets matter in these jobs, right, that's how they're going to sink or swim. So I think that you've incorporated that is something that I see more and more people trying to do. Yeah, and I love to bring the loved one in. Molly: We try to do the same as well. Chris: It's like do something social with your spouse or significant other, because you're going to be away from them with us a lot. Molly: you're going to be away from them with us a lot they're going to spend more time with us than they are, you know, with you so? Do you see them and you know? Chris: okay with us, yeah do you like? Molly: do you like us? Yeah? Chris: so let's let's back up a little bit, because you mentioned, obviously, dad and a partner started VEX Prime. At some point you come in and kind of take over. What was that kind of transition? Molly: like it's still in transition. Chris: Okay so. Molly: I would say we certainly do not have a policy of nepotism in our business, policy of nepotism in our business, but to say that we don't have a lot of dads and daughters and family members and cousins and aunts and uncles all working together, we would have a long laugh. So my dad is still involved in the business. He's still a full-time lawyer. He's still a full-time lawyer and he is, you know, he helps us with all sorts of higher level finance, legal type ideas. I mean he's all over the map there, Our chief operating officer, Mike Knapp, the original partner. He's still working and he manages all of our managers and operating team. His daughter is our HR director and we have a marketing director who's been with us for almost 20 years and her husband is a project manager for us. So, and then on our you know extended family, I mean we really we have have tons and tons of family members working together and we actually view it as a real asset because we're all so passionate and deeply engaged in the business, because we're looking for it to be as best as it can be, but we are also, I would say, have investors from our community and our friends and family. We've raised a lot of money and so we are very careful because we're trying to make money for all of our investors. We have a fiduciary duty to that. So, I think in many ways, part of our culture is we are a family business, but we're not run like a family business at all Right. So how was it? I guess? Chris: you coming back in and you know I guess dad and his partner letting go of some things, and I mean you know, I know from experience. You know we have clients that go through this and I've had some guests on the podcast. You know everyone experienced a little different. What can you share about maybe some of the things that, looking back, probably could have done better or things that actually went well? ADVERT Hello friends, this is Chris Hanslick, your Building Texas business host. Did you know that Boyer Miller, the producer of this podcast, is a business law firm that works with entrepreneurs, corporations and business leaders? Our team of attorneys serve as strategic partners to businesses by providing legal guidance to organizations of all sizes. Get to know the firm at boyMillercom, and thanks for listening to the show. Molly: Yeah, I mean, I think one of the things I mean it's always hard and I think that there's an ebb and flow to it. And you know, one of the things I think we did really well and we still do really well is we stay in our lane and I think we're really good at the active debate and listening and having hard conversations but listening to each other's points and coming together to make a decision that is methodical and thoughtful, versus well, you know, it's going to be my way, or the highway, like we very rarely would let someone just take something and run with the decision. We're very consensus oriented but we also stay in our lane. So, if you know, I've probably my strongest background is in marketing. If I feel really passionate about something related to marketing and and I've got my reasons and I'm, you know, persuasively getting everyone on board everyone's gonna be like, okay, cool, cool, yeah, you got it, got it, you know. Or my dad's like the contract needs to read this way. You know, with the Cisco vendor, we're like, okay, cool, great, you got it. So I think one thing we've done well is we. We have a lot of people with very specific expertise and we're able to learn from each other, but not stomp on each other. And so, like Mike Knapp, who's our chief operating officer, and we have got some other great operators on our team they know how to run a restaurant. Well, if I go in there and tell them how to do it, like I'm way overstepping them my lane. Chris: Right. Molly: Right. But if I go in there and I'm like, hey, I noticed like this seemed inefficient, what's going on there? They'll either be like oh gosh, we got to go fix that, Thank you. Or well, this is why we're doing it this way and I can learn from that. Chris: I think there's a lot of humility in that for the whole team Right. Molly: Yeah, you know, or feedback, that happens. Chris: Yeah, you know, no egos. Molly: Yeah, I mean we all have egos. But yeah, I mean I can say to my dad, if we cross that out, we're never going to make this deal, Like, stop being a lawyer. Chris:Right. Molly: I mean you know how it goes. It's like there's always the lines there, but I think we do a good job of being honest, transparent, giving feedback and then, when we cross the line which family members can do, we do a good job of like coming back together. Chris: Good, so there's grace too, right. Molly: Forgiveness grace. That wasn't my best moment, I'm sorry. Chris: Yeah, okay, wasn't my best moment, I'm sorry, yeah, okay. So let's talk a little bit about you know you're, you've grown this business and you've added to it. What are you think about like technology or innovation? Are there things in that realm that you've implemented to kind of help either with the growth or, once the growth has happened, help kind of manage and make it more efficient? Molly: So I came from tech right in Silicon Valley, so it's like, okay, let's get some platforms on this business right. 2000 was the year, and so I've now been through a lot of point-of-sale changes and QuickBooks to Great Plains Accounting, all these Clover, uber, online ordering, and we have tended to actually be pretty early adopters. We probably had online ordering off your phone earlier than most companies in Houston, and it's interesting because they're so great and, in theory, they're going to make your life so much easier and everything is going to be faster and more efficient. I don't always feel that it has worked out that way. Oh okay, feel that it has worked out that way. Okay, you know, I think the layers, the layers can add just more work or buffer or time, even in how long it maybe takes to place an order. And I think we went through. If we go back a decade, I think that was the painful era of technology in the restaurant space, I think. Where we are now with some of the point of sale systems and how they're integrating, how can I let me explain this when a decade ago, or even five years ago, you would be in our restaurant and you would see we'd have our point of sale system, we'd have the drive-thru speaker, we'd have an Uber iPad, a DoorDash iPad, a Favor oh wait, favor called in and then paid with a real credit card. So just imagine. All of that is like just messy. Chris: And you'rust trying to keep up. Molly: Right, we're just coming at you and all we want to do is take the order, take your money and send you on the way with your food right. So, like that transaction, for us that 20 years ago was you walked up to the counter, you paid and you left. Now we've got all these things right and and if the DoorDash order comes in on this tablet, I've got to enter it in this system on the cash register, or it won't go to the kitchen and then the kitchen doesn't get a ticket. So it seems like, in theory, we should all love all of this. And for the consumer who's like beep, beep, beep. Chris: On the sofa at home, right. Molly: Great. It's great for them. For us, it's been hard, you know, and and it has taken a lot of time. And now what? What? My point with technology now is that all those systems are finally talking to each other, and so we were taking more orders through a single unit. There's less double entry. Chris: So technology is catching up right Kind of with the innovation, all the innovation of all that. Now technology is catching up, so it's integrated. Molly: And then behind the scenes is like how our accounting and everything flows over whether it's from our vendors that we're buying food from, and finally everything is catching up. But I think we all take for granted how easy that integration is, and when you're a mid-level size company, like we are, you don't have the financial resources to spend money on the consultants that you really need to hire to help you integrate that, and so it just can be hard. Yeah. Chris: Well, that's a great point, I think, with aspiring entrepreneurs, right, that you you've got to face these challenges and sometimes the only way through them is you know it's going to be extra time and hours on you to figure it out because you don't have the capital to just go hire a consultant to come fix it. And that's one of those lessons learned, right? It sounds easy, sounds fun, but when you're in the middle of it it's either you're going to do it or it's not going to happen yeah, and you get. Molly: I mean, there's so many great ideas out there and great technologies and great marketing ideas, but the the thought process around implementation and execution typically isn't thought through by many companies that we're partnering with. Right. You know, oh, you just do this, this and this, which is a trigger for all of us. We always laugh when we're in a meeting. It's like, oh, it's no problem to switch from this point of sale system, this point of sales, and we're like right they're never there. Chris: That's sweet they're never there past the sales delivery. Right, it's just like. Then they're gone. You're off to sell someone else, that employee will quit if if I say we're gonna switch yeah well, let's talk a little more about. I guess you know you're born and raised here. Becks started here Chocolate Bar. Winfields now, what are some of the advantages that you feel like that you've experienced as a result of being a Texas based? Molly: company. I think Texans are unique in that we embrace entrepreneurs. In Houston, I have, in particular, found this to be an incredibly warm and receptive and we believe in you, molly attitude. I'm out there hustling chocolate so hard. I'm out there selling to businesses and people want to see us succeed. It's not like being in a part of the country where I feel sometimes like well, we'll see if she can make that happen, where they kind of mock you, whereas here I feel like people are behind us and that's such a positive that happen. You know where they kind of mock you, whereas here I feel like people are behind us and that's such a positive place to work, whether it's people who you're partnering with or buying from you or, you know, just giving you money to go make it happen. Right, it's hard to make a business happen without the ability to raise money. Chris: Sure. Molly: And there's faith involved in someone giving you their money to go make something happen. I mean, you never know, right, right. Chris: No, it makes sense. I couldn't agree more. I don't think what you described as kind of that spirit of Houston, houstonia, just kind of a very entrepreneurial, very welcoming and supportive community, love to see others succeed. So you know, let's talk about the contrast of that as we sit here today, and you're in the middle of it, and you're in the middle of it. Molly: What are some of the headwinds that you are dealing with or that you kind of see around the corner, that you're trying to prepare for? You know, I think everything feels a tiny bit chaotic right now, and I think it doesn't matter. You know where you are on any sort of belief system as a business person, you're sort of like what's happening right? And I think our hr director always says this. She's like what's the next right thing to do? What's the next right? And I think, with all the challenges and headwinds, and I think, with all the challenges and headwinds which I have to just globally say I can't specifically mention I'm like, oh, I could be like, oh, the tariffs are this or that. Maybe the tariff goes away tomorrow. It's not really a worry, but it could be a worry. It's just the uncertainty. Yeah, and uncertainty can be a significant economic headwind. Uncertainty can be a significant economic headwind because when we go into uncertainty mode, we are stuck. And we just. It's like we're all of a sudden we're standing on the Galveston beaches and our feet are sinking in that squishy sand. That's so warm right now and lovely. Chris: And we literally can't come out of it we don't do anything. Molly: It creates paralysis. We just go into, like, and so I think what's hard as a leader and as a texan and as an entrepreneur, is to not let that stop us from making decisions and moving forward. Yeah, so I go back to my hr director and says okay, what's the next right thing I need to do? Chris: let that stop us from making decisions and moving forward. So I go back to my HR director and says, okay, what's the next right thing I need to do? Yeah Well, I mean, I think it's one good you have a partner, whether it's any officer or not, but someone that you can lean on and have that. What's great about that is it's simple right. It's how you eat the elephant right, one bite at a time. So big picture can be overwhelming, create a lot of uncertainty, could create paralysis. So, okay, let's go back to the basics and what's the next right step, right, and then maybe with one step, it's easier to take the second step which leads to the third step and all of a sudden you've built some momentum. Molly: Yeah, and you can do something with that. Chris: Yeah. Molly: But it is you know, and at the same time as you take the next step, you've got to kind of know where you're driving towards. Chris: Yeah, so let's talk a little bit about leadership styles, and how would you describe your leadership style? How do you think that's evolved over time? Molly: You know I think I'm not very patient and I think that's hard, and I think it's hard to probably work with me, because we all have a tendency of we've got a great idea. We wanted to have happened two weeks ago. Chris: Right. Molly: Right, not just, not just an idea. It's like oh, that's a great idea, why don't? Why aren't we already doing it? Chris: And why is it already? Why isn't it done already? Molly: Like what's the problem? And so I think one of the things I've really had to work on is patience as a leader, and it's far more fun to be part of a team with a patient leader versus a chaotic always and and I don't do this perfectly well, and so either. I would believe you if you said you did, yeah, you wouldn't you know me for half an hour and you can tell this, but I think I love being a leader that people can say no to now. I think I love being a leader that people can say no to now. I think, it's really hard sometimes to be. You can be the type of leader people can't say no to because they're scared of you or they don't want to say no. But when my team has now in a place where we're close enough and capable enough, where they can say molly, that is a great idea, and if we try to do that right now, we will fail yeah like, okay, I can be mature enough to hear that now and I appreciate you saying that. So I think, I think I don't want to stop pushing us, but I've tried to learn as a leader where kind of thinking of an organ? Right now right, which pedals I should be pushing harder on or less hard? Chris: I think you raise a great point, because I think it's like anything. I think if there's too much of one thing, it's not good. It's that statement of everything in moderation, and I think one of the challenges of a leader is to know when to push and when to back off. So you had to when to be a little forceful versus empathetic and, you know, maybe demonstrating some more grace. But every situation is a little different. So a good leader assesses it and go okay, what type of leadership does this moment call for? Yeah, and it's that awareness, almost right, and learning to be a little bit versatile, because I think if you're all one all the time, you're not going to be as successful as you want. To be right, you will be in some moments, but you're going to fail miserably in others. And again, that's much easier said than done in practice, right? Molly: I mean, it's much easier said than I don't know. You know, I'm so critical of my own leadership skills. It's hard to even walk in here right now and be positive. And yet I would say I'm doing so much better than I was, and, in part, I think it's having people around me who have helped coach me to be a better leader. I've hired coaches, or I have people who've helped me through how to handle certain situations. I think tools help. It's interesting Six months ago, about a year ago we implemented this easy calendar tool so we could watch our projects and hold each other a little more accountable, and we got so crazy. We got off of using that tool and the team was like, hey, can we bring that back? Oh yeah, why do we stop doing that? And so I think when you do have tools that help you as a leader lead, they can be really useful. If they become a way for you to stop having, I think, the productive conversations and you're just kind of using it as a checklist, I think it can be dangerous, but there's ways to use all this technology and tools out there to benefit us as leaders. Sure, and I think that's something I've learned to do a little bit better in recent years. Chris: Any anything you can point to. I always like to ask this is not the fun question but failure or mistake that you experienced or encountered, that you learned from that. You're like that was a growth moment. In hindsight, man, it felt terrible, whatever I look back. And what a growth moment for me, anything you can share there, because I always find that that's such a great learning and it hopefully dispels for listeners, right, because you feel like you're the only one out there failing and he's like, no, you're not. Molly: Oh my gosh, you're going to learn from it. Yeah, and I think you know there's so much shame we only talk about our successes or people only talk about their successes, right, or it's more fun. I mean, I don't want to walk around talking about all the things I've done wrong, and this was a little while ago and I rely on it now because not everything we try. We've just released product at Central Market in June. We just yeah, super exciting. Chris: A chocolate product, a chocolate bar. Molly: We've got truffles and boots and some go to Central Market and buy our products. But also at the airports in the market, we've got some great fun Texas themed products at Intercontinental Airport. So if you're going through the airports, buy some Winfield's chocolate. So you go out there and I'm so excited right now to tell you about this. Right, we're in these great new major retailers and we're in 12 Kroger's. Well, what I'm not telling you is I've been in 15 Kroger's and now we're in 12 because we only find those. I'm not going to tell you about the three that we're not in anymore because they're not. You know, the others are doing great. Go find us at the Buffalo Kroger or the West Gray, go find us at the airport, and I'm not going to come back and be like, well, that didn't work. They never bought from us again. Which is, you work so hard to make those deals happen and get out there in the world and there's so much hustle and it may just not work. So, going back in time, I had an investor and this was a decade ago and we had opened some stores in Dallas, some Bex Prime restaurants, and one of them had failed and we were going to close it and I mean, I was devastated, ashamed, sad, all of the things, and I'd gone out and raised $2 million and I had lost that money. It was over and I had to call our investors and let them know what had happened. Phil Plant, he says so you stubbed your toe for the first time. I was like I did. He's like, yeah, you're going to keep stubbing your toe if you keep at this long enough. Chris: If you keep trying hard enough, right? Molly: If you keep trying hard enough and you keep putting these projects together and businesses. He's like you're going to have some wins and you're gonna have some losses and you're gonna stub your toe but keep going. And it meant I can't. I'm gonna cry thinking about it. He's a really great person and but that meant so much to me in that moment because I mean I had failed big time. I had the. Chris: It didn't work, you know talk about the value of having the right people around you, right? Wow, that's pretty cool. Molly: You know and with Agnes I mean that restaurant took a solid two years to take off. You know I had to go borrow some money to keep it going and now it is a place where our community meets and people love it and then it is neighborhood joy and connection. I could not be more proud of it. But I'm telling you, walking into a restaurant on a Friday night, that you have opened and convince people to give you money to open, and there there's not a single soul in the place not a single soul. Very humbling. Chris: Right, you wanted to go walk the neighborhood streets, going, come on. Molly: Yeah, and so I think you know now with my team I can, we can take the wins and the losses with a little more grace. Chris: Yeah. Molly: You know well, that didn't work. What are we going to try next? Chris: Yeah Well, I think you know it sounds like part of the culture, right, is you said? The one thing about you said as a leader is people aren't afraid to tell you no. And it sounds like you've created a culture where people aren't afraid to fail and learn from it and keep going, and that's to me a sign of a really strong culture. Molly: Well, and it's okay to say like well, that sucked. I screwed that up pretty bad. Chris: Well, we're conditioned to, like I said, we don't talk about failures. I think we're conditioned that, oh, don't talk about that, because it's got to look like it looks on Facebook and everybody's smiling and happy when we know that's not reality. And so we can get past that and just be transparent. Molly: Yeah, authentic. Chris: I think the better off we're all. Molly: But don't you think being more authentic has happened as part of post-COVID? Chris: era. Molly: Don't you think people are more open about their wins and losses? Chris: I think, so I don't know. It's kind of the chicken or the egg. I think Brene Brown started talking about it a lot more and it caught on in the corporate world and that was happening pre-COVID but close to COVID, and then with that the world goes upside down. I don't think anybody knew what. So about uncertainty, no one knew. So I think it did create a feeling of I don't know what's next and this okay to be authentic. And as we started coming out of that, then there's a lot probably exposed more in the sports world about mental health and all that kind of just built on itself, where I think we're learning it's okay and it's more acceptable to be more authentic. Right, it's a good thing, it's a great thing. Molly: It's way more fun to live in this world. I think I'm not. Fun is not the right word, it's just grounding. Chris: Yeah. Molly: It's more real. Right, I meet more real people. Chris: Agreed, agreed. So well, let's turn to a little bit more of a light side, okay, okay, so what's your favorite vacations place? Molly: Oh my gosh. Well, I'm a, I love adventure. So you know, skiing, hiking, colorado one of those Texas and Colorado type people for sure Love going down to Galveston and fishing and being on the beaches down there, and then we love to scuba dive. So hit the Caribbean. Chris: Awesome, that's all great things. Molly: I can identify with that Stay out of the sun. Chris: You're in the food business, but, and so this is my favorite question to ask every guest Do you prefer Tex-Mex or barbecue? Oh man Hardest question of the podcast. Molly: This is so hard that I might have to Gosh. You know I'm probably a barbecue person. I think I'm going to go. Chris: We have a lot of good barbecue around here. Look, it's a hard question for a reason we have a lot of good barbecue, a lot of good tex-mex. You know, I've even had people try to answer it by combining both there's not. Molly: you know, look at levi good, he's got his tex-ex and his barbecue. He's sort of doing it right, that's right, that's right. Chris: So well, I want to, you know, just wrap this up by saying thank you for coming on and sharing your journey, excited to see what you're doing. Obviously, we watched the Becks on Kirby get redone because we're right around the corner, but what you're doing with the windfield chocolate sounds exciting and uh. Hopefully, now people hear this, they'll know more about agnes and yeah, come to all of ours. Molly: You can do breakfast at agnes, lunch at beck's, dessert at windfields. Chris: You hit them all I like it, yeah, so there you go, uh kind of a full service yeah, integrated, you can do it. Them all love it it Well, Molly, thank you for coming on. Molly: Thank you for having me. Chris: Really appreciate you taking the time. Special Guest: Molly Voorhees.

This week, Jen and Pete noodle on the notion of habits, and why some might be easier to reignite than others.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:What happens when we let a habit get off track?How does our environment effect our habits?How might we keep our habits by reducing their scope?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

Hey, humans. I want to talk about something that so many of us struggle with, and that's the feeling of not being enough. This is a part three of a series called "What If". I highly recommend going back and listening to the previous two if you haven't heard them already. I know that shame spiral all too well; when my life shifted in a single moment almost ten years ago, I found myself in a very dark place, believing I was flawed and unworthy. And as Brené Brown's research shows, that's the difference between guilt—I did something bad—and shame, which is the belief that I am bad . Let me say that again: Guilt is 'I did something bad,' shame is 'I am bad'. So what if we could change that narrative? What if you truly believed, right now, that you are enough, because you already are? Your assignment this week is to find one moment, maybe even write it on your mirror like I do, and tell yourself, 'I am enough exactly as I am' . We have the power to control our own script, so let's start there. Stacie More episodes at StacieBaird.com.

In this episode, we explore the transformative journey after a breakup, focusing on how your attachment style affects your healing process. Discover practical growth strategies for anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles. Learn to reflect on past relationships, identify patterns, and implement self-soothing techniques while establishing healthy boundaries. We'll discuss fostering supportive relationships that encourage emotional vulnerability.  Tune in to turn your breakups into opportunities for personal growth and resilience, redefining your relationship with yourself and others on your path to healing! Ready to Fast-Track Your Breakup Recovery? Join my FREE upcoming webinar "How to be Happier, Healthier, and More Successful After a Breakup or Divorce."  Grab your webinar spot here: https://www.angieday.com/webinar/ Take the free quiz to discover your Relationship Attachment Style: Start the quiz here: https://www.angieday.com/free-quiz/  If you think you or someone you love may be struggling after a breakup or divorce and you'd like help with this or any other topic, feel free to reach out to me. Email me at:  angie@contactangieday.com Voicemail me at:  https://www.speakpipe.com/TheBacktoHappyPodcast

Join Pastor Tara Lamont Eastman in this enriching episode of Holy Shenanigans as she delves into the concept of wholehearted living, inspired by the actions of Captain Marvel and the wisdom of Parker Palmer and Brene Brown. Discover Parker Palmer's 'Habits of the Heart' and learn how integrating mind, body, and spirit can strengthen individuals and communities. This episode also invites listeners to participate in a Zoom discussion on the topic and offers practical questions for personal and communal reflection.Send Tara a Text MessageJoin Tara for a free online discussion about wholehearted living on Sunday, August 24 at 6 pm EST. The Wild Goose Festival is Thursday, August 28 to Sunday, August 31. It is a transformational community grounded in faith-inspired social justice. Come learn and grow by co-creating art, music, story, theater, and spectacle, and engaging in a wide variety of robust, courageous conversations with each other and with thought leaders and artists from other communities.Support the showRev. Tara Lamont Eastman is a pastor, podcaster and host of Holy Shenanigans since September of 2020. Eastman combines her love of ministry with her love of writing, music and visual arts. She is a graduate of Wartburg Theological Seminary's Theological Education for Emerging Ministry Program and the Youth and Theology Certificate Program at Princeton Seminary. She has served in various ministry and pastoral roles over the last thirty years in the ELCA (Evangelical Lutheran Church in America) and PCUSA (Presbyterian Church of America). She is the pastor of First Presbyterian Church of Warren Pennsylvania. She has presented workshops on the topics of faith and creativity at the Wild Goose Festival. She is a trainer for Soul Shop Suicide Prevention for Church Communities.

In this episode of How to Run a Successful Business (and Still Have a Life!), Stacey gets real about the evolving expectations of today’s customers and what that means for how we market, connect, and deliver our products and services. Gone are the days of long blog posts and one-size-fits-all content. Your audience is busy, savvy, and has Google at their fingertips. So how do you meet them where they are? Stacey dives into: ✨ Why your customer journey needs to be more flexible than ever✨ The critical shift from “look at me” marketing to connection-focused storytelling✨ What Dance Moms, Google reviews, and stir-frying dinner have in common (trust us on this one)✨ How to stand out by leaning into what makes you and your business different This is the first in a mini-series on deeper customer engagement because loyal customers don’t just want convenience… they want connection.

David Charlton and Duncan O'Brien discuss the emotional challenges in football, focusing on blame, shame, guilt, and anger in this week's episode of Demystifying Mental Toughness.  Duncan, influenced by Brene Brown's work, emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and collaboration in coaching.  He highlights the need for coaches to create supportive yet challenging environments, using tools like Clean Language to foster self-awareness and resilience.  They explore how emotions like shame can manifest in players, affecting their performance and behaviour.  The conversation underscores the significance of coaches communicating effectively and setting clear expectations to help players navigate stress and criticism, ultimately fostering a more supportive and effective coaching dynamic. Key Learning Points: ·        Explore using clean language techniques in football coaching to help players develop self-awareness. ·        Encourage players to ask questions of each other rather than giving direct orders or criticism during challenging situations. ·        Educate coaches and players on the difference between shame and guilt, and how to address feelings of shame in a constructive way. ·        Mistakes are common in football and pointing the fingers, blaming can lead to guilt, impacting players' confidence and bravery. ·        Vulnerability is essential to encourage courageous behaviours and collaboration, however it is dependent on the relationship and trust developed between coaches and players. Connect with Duncan O'Brien LinkedIN Connect with David Charlton Join David @ The Sports Psychology Hub Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIN Podcast Episodes To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience Ep286: Nathan Sherratt - How To Understand Neurodiversity Better In Football Refereeing Ep285: Adam Batstone - Football Coaches: How To Help Neurodiverse Players Thrive Ep249: Dr Edward Hall – Understanding Workplace Collaboration In Coaching In Team Sports Ep105: Hannah Bromley – Overcoming Psychological Challenges in Professional Women's Football Ep065: Dr Amy Izycky – Encouraging Mentally Healthy Cultures in Sport Other Valuable Resources To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience Podcasts for Sport Coach Development Cricket Psychology Resources Hockey Psychology Resources Rugby Psychology Resources Soccer Psychology Resources

For the next three weeks, we're diving into a special encore series with Jamie Winship, one of the most powerful voices we've ever featured. These conversations aren't just interviews; they're invitations. Each episode is a call to trade fear for peace, performance for identity, and isolation for union with the Lord. If you've been wrestling with pain, confusion, or the ache to live from truth instead of striving, don't miss this mini-series. It's time to unlearn the lies that keep you stuck and rediscover the wholeness you were made for. July 16: Turning Chaos into Opportunity July 23: The Lie of Being Alone, Radical Individualism, and Why Pain is Good July 30: Why Separation Creates Suffering, the Necessary Practice of Self-Emptying, and a Right View of God Then join me on August 6 for a brand-new conversation with communication expert and viral voice of reason, Jefferson Fisher. Episode Links Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

BREAK UP WITH BROKE: amyvanmeijl.com/breakupwithbrokeThe audio journey designed to release worry, reframe debt and recalibrate your thinking to welcome in expansion and wealth into your life.Get on the INSIGHTS email list:  amyvanmeijl.com/insights--Brene Brown calls it "dress rehearsing tragegy".  We all do it, all the time, and we do it effortlessly.And it's stealing our joy.Today's episode will shift how you see fear and worry, and move you closer to being present in the moment (no matter what).Press play babe.--WORK WITH ME 1:1:90 Mins 1:1: amyvanmeijl.com/coaching3 month Next Level Intensive Mentorship: amyvanmeijl.com/nextlevel> Want to book a quick chat to see if we'd be a fit?  Click the link on the Next Level booking page.--GO DEEPER:Freebies, coaching & money programs: amyvanmeijl.com -- SUBMIT A QUESTION: Submit a question to the podcast: amyvanmeijl.com/podcastquestions -- SOCIALS & SHARE A REVIEW: 

In exploring the relationship between goal setting and practicality, Jen and Pete noodle on all things related to opportunity cost and rule development.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:What is opportunity cost, and what might the fears be that surround that?How might we set a minimum engagement fee for ourselves?What are some strategies we can use to be more practical, when deciding on our goals?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo discuss the impact of assumptions on relationships and provide practical tools to replace these assumptions with clarity. Through real-life examples, they explore how silent assumptions can fuel misunderstandings and share strategies for fostering open communication and trust. Learn how to avoid common pitfalls like judging intentions, predicting behavior based on past actions, and failing to communicate expectations. Discover the importance of asking clarifying questions and using Brene Brown's technique,”the story I'm telling myself,” to improve your relationships.  Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts :  Dr. Brene Brown, Esther Perel Resources :  Dare to Lead by Dr. Brene Brown https://brenebrown.com/hubs/dare-to-lead/ Esther Perel https://www.estherperel.com 

When you're ‘not quite ready’ to raise prices, hire more team members, up that advertising spend… What’s the hidden toll? How to recognise the subtle ways shrinking back is costing you visibility and revenue. Playing bigger doesn’t have to be reckless, today's episode is about choosing discomfort on purpose. About the power of small, strategic risks that move you forward: raising prices by 10%, hiring a VA for 5 hours a week, or investing in a professional development opportunity.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Unlock the Power of Self-Validation    Inspired by a recent therapy session, in this solo episode of 'Don't Cut Your Own Bangs,' Danielle Ireland explores the practice of self-validation. She shares insights on how to validate your own experiences, calm your nervous system, and push back against self-doubt. The episode includes practical examples, journaling tips, and real-life applications, making it a valuable resource for anyone looking to strengthen their self-awareness and emotional well-being.   RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE TO “DON'T CUT YOUR OWN BANGS”  Like your favorite recipe or song, the best things in life are shared. When you rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, your engagement helps me connect  with other listeners just like you. Plus, subscriptions just make life easier for everybody. It's one less thing for you to think about and you can easily keep up to date on everything that's new. So, please rate, review, and subscribe today.  DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below. Connect with Danielle: Watch the show on YouTube Instagram The Treasured Journal Wrestling a Walrus   00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 00:12 Understanding Self-Validation 01:00 Practical Examples of Validation 02:12 Benefits of Validation 03:11 Self-Validation Techniques 05:39 Journaling for Self-Discovery 06:49 Client Story and Real-Life Application 07:57 Navigating Uncertainty with Self-Validation 10:22 The Power of Truth in Self-Validation 15:41 Children's Book and Emotional Education 16:56 Conclusion and Listener Engagement   Self Validation Solocast [00:00:00] Danielle: Hello. Hello. This is Danielle Ireland and you are listening to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs. And today I'm coming at you [00:00:07] Hello. Hello, this is Danielle Ireland and you are listening to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs. And today I'm coming at you with a tasty little treat, a little snack of a solo cast, we're gonna talk about validating the self, how this is a practice that you can do on your own, in your mind, in a journal. You can take this anywhere with you, and it is a fabulous tool to regulate the nervous system. [00:00:32] To calm down the chatter of self-doubt, those that overwhelming spiraling self-talk that we can get lost in. And I'm gonna talk about what validation is and what it's not, and how you can actually practice this in your own life. It came out of a really powerful therapy session that I gave this week, and almost as soon as I signed off of that call, my first thought was, oh dang, I need to share this. [00:00:56] So here we are validating the self. Simply put it is naming your experience. If we were thinking about it in terms of relationships, if it was me communicating with somebody else, validation is that I can hold space. I can see the reality and the truth of your experience, and I can honor that as true for you. [00:01:22] So for example, if. With my four, my 4-year-old daughter, for example, I can see for her experience, you really want a Popsicle. You really want a Popsicle right now, and I'm telling you it's time to go down for a nap. You're really upset that I told you you're not gonna get a Popsicle, and I can see how hard that is for you. [00:01:43] I'm validating that you are having an emotional experience that is different from me. In this moment, even though we're having, we're in the same room, right? We're breathing the same air, but you're having a very different experience than me, and I can see that is true and that is real for you. That is just a silly, small example. [00:02:05] Although it's based on very real, very real experiences. But that is how we can offer validation for somebody else. The benefit of doing that for someone else is it lets them know that they're not crazy. It's not just in their head. It's all of the invalidating language that I'm sure we are all very familiar with. [00:02:26] Like you're being dramatic. You're being over the top. Calm down. It's not that big a deal. You just need to get over it. You're not being logical, too emotional. Those are all ways that we can be invalidated, that we have been invalidated, and that we can invalidate somebody else. So to repeat what validation is, is I can see the truth of your experiences based on the circumstances that are before you. [00:02:55] You, there's something you really want. There's something that you didn't get your experiences, you're disappointed and upset. You're telling me you don't wanna go to bed, and I can see that is true for you, and I can hold space for myself for having a different experience. So now we're talking about validating the self, and I'll talk about how you can also do that outside of an interaction with somebody. [00:03:18] In my experience, my daughter's upset. She's screaming about a Popsicle. She's telling me she doesn't wanna go down for a nap. She's telling me she's not tired. And then here's my experience. Here's what I know. What I know is it's 1230 I. You normally go down for a nap at 12, you're already getting tired. [00:03:36] I've seen you rubbing your eyes. I've been down this road with you many times before. I know it's hard for you to stop having fun when you wanna keep having fun, and I also know I'll pay for it later. If I don't get you down for a nap. There's likely gonna be a meltdown later. So my experience is I'm witnessing the emotional eruption and upheaval. [00:04:00] Of having to tell you, no, you can't have a Popsicle, and yes, you are going down for a nap. That's stressful for me. This isn't what I want either. What I want is to just give you what you want so that I can go chill and read my book [00:04:14] I don't wanna deal with a tantrum. This is hard for me to, I know that it's the right thing to do, so I'm going to do it anyway. And I also know that you are for. And your brain is only developed four years, and your job is to want what you want. And my job is to do the best I can to take care of your beautiful brain and body. [00:04:35] So I can honor that. That is my experience, and I'm not making her responsible for my experience because she's entitled to have her own. And it's very different than mine, even though we're breathing the same air, we're in the same space. I can regulate myself and I can regulate my own nervous system. [00:04:53] By honoring, you're doing what you know is right, you're doing the best you can in this moment. You're frustrated too. You're disappointed too. You don't like dealing with this either. You wish this were easier, all of those things that are true. And each time I allow myself to acknowledge the truth of my experience to myself, even if it's just in my own mind. [00:05:19] I can feel what I actually physiologically experience, I physically experience like tingles in my legs. That must be a way that my nervous system is letting me know that it's calming down, but I breathe and I'm speaking the truth for myself to myself. That always puts me in a clearer frame of mind. [00:05:39] If you've ever wanted to start a journaling practice but didn't know where to start, or if you've been journaling off and on your whole life, but you're like, I wanna take this work deeper, I've got you covered. I've written a journal called Treasured, a Journal for unearthing you. It's broken down into seven key areas of your life, filled with stories, sentence stems, prompts, questions, and exercises. [00:05:58] All rooted in the work that I do with actual clients in my therapy sessions. I have given these examples to clients in sessions as homework, and they come back with insights that allow us to do such incredible work. This is something you can do in the privacy of your own home, whether you're in therapy or not. [00:06:17] It has context, it has guides. And hopefully some safety bumpers to help digging a little deeper feel possible, accessible and safe. You don't have to do this alone. And there's also a guided treasured meditation series that accompanies each section in the journal to help ease you into the processing state. [00:06:36] My hope is to help guide you into feeling more secure with the most important relationship in your life, the one between you and you. Hop on over to the show notes and grab your copy today. And now back to the episode. [00:06:49] Danielle: so in this session with a client where this concept came out, this was one of those moments where. My client, had just made a really, really hard decision about her life and her family, and she was in that really tender early stage of making a new decision where there's a fork in the road and you're starting down this new path based on the new choice that you've just made. [00:07:18] You're not so far down the road. It's like you're almost walking parallel paths before they really start to split off into a v and I'm making these new steps forward, but it's hard and it's scary and it's new. [00:07:33] This is definitely unknown. And then I can still see the well worn path next to me that I. Could have been on if I had just stayed the same. And it's in that space where validating the self can be. If you find yourself in a similar couple steps past a fork in the road moment, this too may be really impactful for you. [00:07:57] And it's not about knowing. The outcome of your choice, because that is impossible. It's so easy to just try to get our hooks into something that feels safe and sturdy and stable. But all you know, I'm here. I've made this decision. This is hard. This is scary, this is new. [00:08:22] And even though you're not making a false promise to yourself, and you may actually be admitting something that's hard, like this is really challenging, I feel really uncertain. I don't know what tomorrow's gonna bring. I feel lost those statements. It's not false hope, and it's not toxic positivity. [00:08:42] You're not trying to spin the truth into something palatable. You're letting the truth exist, and you're also making the statement with a period at the end of the sentence, I feel lost. I don't know what to do tomorrow. I'm here. I've done it. I'm scared. It's a statement and then it, there's a period at the end of that sentence. [00:09:07] Each time you do your own version of that, which is self validation, your nervous system calms down. There is this activation that can happen with anxiety and self-doubt, especially when we feel lost. Our mind is looking for certainty, and so it'll start asking us questions and in particular questions like, why? [00:09:35] Why did this happen to me? Why are they doing this? Why aren't they calling me back? Why aren't they texting me? And the problem with those types of questions phrased in that particular way, you're asking yourself questions that you can't know the answer to. That will activate more anxiety because more questions you can't know the answer to will lead to more questions you can't know the answer to, and you will start to experience that as dread and doom and or you will also very likely, and this is referencing Brene Brown, here, you will insert your worst fear with your uncertainty, like your uncertainty gaps of knowledge and understanding. [00:10:13] I'm just gonna insert the worst fears I have about myself or the worst possible outcome I can think of. This does not help your nervous system. This does not help you feel safe. Validating the self. It's not false hope, it's not toxic positivity. It is to the simplest, most base way you can say it. [00:10:31] What is the truest thing? The truest thing about what you're experiencing in this moment and let it exist. Take a breath. [00:10:40] Say the thing, and it might be a hard thing. It also might be a simple thing. It might be, I don't know, but even saying you don't know is radically different for your brain and body in terms of being able to regulate and deescalate. Saying you don't know is different than asking a question you cannot answer and. [00:11:04] Sometimes, I don't know, is the truest thing you can access, but I can guarantee you, even though I probably shouldn't be making a guarantee, I can guarantee you, you say you don't know and you take a beat. You follow up with, well, what do I know? You will have an answer. I promise you will have an answer. [00:11:25] What I know is I can't go back. What I know is I made the best possible decision I could in the moment. What I know is I'm here. What I know is I'm breathing. I'm sitting in a chair. What I know is I can feel my blanket on my lap whatever it is. If you sit with the unknown and you let it exist for just a couple of breaths, something will reveal itself to you, and this is why self validation can be so powerful. [00:12:00] Your body responds to truth. So just a little information about lie detector tests. They don't detect lies. There's actually no way to measure physiologically a lie. What lie detectors measure is your body's stress response. Most of us, not all, some people can hijack the system, especially if people have low empathy. [00:12:22] That are affected by lies or it's not practiced out of them. But I would say for the majority of us, when we speak something that isn't true in our mind or allowed, our heart rate will raise, perspiration will increase, and your body will have a reaction to stress. So when you speak the truth, whatever that truth may be, there is a reason why. [00:12:50] When I am in a session with somebody and either it comes out of my mouth or it's their own knowing in the moment when the truth is known, it stabilizes you. And sometimes it is a really hard hard truth, but the truth, no matter how hard it's the right kind of hard and arguably more. Certain and more safe than any well told pretty half truth. [00:13:24] And if anybody who has either been in therapy or had, you know what Oprah calls an aha moment, it's like you go, oh, that's what it is. That's the thing I haven't let myself see for so long. That's the thing I've been afraid to admit or say for years, and now it's here. And there's often work to do after, but what we're talking about is in that moment when the truth is spoken, your body relaxes. [00:13:56] The shoulders come down the jaw on clinches, the pressure in the chest releases the legs. For me, tingle a little. The truth is settling and calming to the nervous system. And what validation is not is feeling somebody else's feelings, knowing somebody's experience For them, it is acknowledging that there can be more than one truth that exists in any given moment, and yours matters as much as anybody else's, but validating the self. [00:14:33] We're really just talking about you. There is a truth to your experience that only you know, and when you admit that truth to yourself, it will set you free. What I encourage you to do, grab a journal, a blank piece of paper, or take a voice memo app on your phone and go for a walk if there is something that you're wrestling with a conversation you keep having with somebody in your mind, or a memory that your mind keeps going back to, there's almost always a thought that catches up to us when we're in those calm, relaxed, stable moments. [00:15:07] So when a thought like that sneaks up on you, grab your pen and paper, grab your journal. Maybe it's the Treasure Journal. [00:15:13] Take a breath and ask yourself what is true about this for me? If the answer is you don't know, that's okay. Start with you don't know. I don't know. I don't know yet. I don't know. I'm gonna figure it out though. I don't know. But what if I did know? If I had to say something about this, what would that be? [00:15:37] Then take another breath and see what comes. [00:15:41] When I set out to write a book, I only knew two things. One was I wanted to make big feelings, feel less scary and more approachable, and I wanted to bring some lightness to the feelings themselves. What I know to be true as a therapist is that emotions are energy in motion. They have information to tell you to inform the next right step to take and self-doubt, fear, anxiety, live in that space between knowing and not knowing. [00:16:05] The second thing I knew was that I wanted to have fun in the process of making. This thing. The result is this wrestling a walrus for little people with big feelings, beautifully illustrated children's book that has a glossary at the end for some of the bigger feeling words. What this story does in a light and loving way is create context for those relationships. [00:16:25] You can't change those people that you wish would treat you different. The things in life that we cannot control and yet we face that are hard. This book, it's a conversation starter for any littles in your life. Who want to create more safety and love and patience for some of those experiences. So hop one over to the show notes. [00:16:43] You can pick it up@amazon.com, barge de noble.com or my website. I hope that you do because I believe in this little book. I freaking love this little book, and I cannot wait to hear your experience with it. Thanks so much for listening and get back to the episode. [00:16:56] Danielle: Thank you so much for joining me on this little nugget episode of Don't Cut Your Own Bangs. I love sharing these insights here with you and your time and attention here mean more to me than you could possibly know. This is such. Such a joy and such a pleasure. [00:17:13] So I want to hear from you. Let me know. What did you think of this concept? What questions do you have about it that you would like me to help answer? I want to continue to grow this conversation with you. The best things in life are shared, and so being able to share this space is an absolute joy for me. [00:17:31] A 10 outta 10. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. And before you hop off, I wanna invite you to take a look at the show notes because there are always links and resources for you. Whether it's resources that I offer or when I'm in interviews with other guests, links to their amazing content too. [00:17:47] So make sure to check that out before you hop away. And please remember to rate, review, and subscribe to the podcast. It is the best way to help this podcast reach other people that could benefit from it too. It helps it grow and we can just continue to build things together. Thank you so much for being here, and I hope that you continue to have a wonderful day. [00:18:05] ​

I hope this quote from Brene Brown helps you innovate and create.   Join the FREE Facebook group for The Michael Brian Show at https://www.facebook.com/groups/themichaelbrianshow   Follow Mike on Facebook Instagram & Twitter

EPISODE SUMMARY: Transitions are such an important part of life, and one of the most challenging transitions is going from peer to supervisor. In this episode, Cara Vock, Program Manager and Chapter Development at Southern Regional Children's Advocacy Center, and Christina Rouse, Program Manager for CAC Development at Southern Regional Children's Advocacy Center explore the complexities of this shift, sharing practical strategies and personal experiences to help you navigate it this career shift. From redefining relationships to establishing boundaries and building leadership skills, they offer valuable insights for anyone stepping into a supervisory role. Tune in for tips on leading effectively while maintaining trust and respect with your team. Topics in this episode: Importance of Transitions (3:17) Skill Building as a New Supervisor (8:15) Competence Confidence Impact Emotional Impact (18:50) Maintaining Relationships (28:35) Soft Skills for New Leaders (39:30) Support and Mentorship (49:50) Resources (1:00:03) GUESTS: Christina Rouse is the Program Manager for CAC Development at Southern Regional CAC. Christina is an experienced forensic interviewer, program developer, and leader. Driven by service to others and eagerness to raise the bar, she takes pride in troubleshooting solutions that elevate people and programs. During her time as a forensic interviewer, she interviewed over 2,500 children, helped coordinate and facilitate 11 MDT jurisdictions, and oversaw the daily operations of the three CAC office locations in the program. Christina's passion for collaboration and cognitive flexibility enables her to be the ultimate team player by elevating people and programs beyond their current operative levels. Outside of the CAC movement, she is the ultimate board game player, whether at a convention, on her podcast, or at home with her husband and daughter. Cara Vock is the Program Manager for Chapter Development at Southern Regional CAC. Cara is an experienced leader, advocate, and facilitator. Driven by a love for connection and innovation, Cara helps to grow, strengthen, and enhance Chapter programs across the South. During her time at CACs of Illinois, Cara implemented numerous state-wide systems to improve services to its members and their clients through data collection and analysis. She shifted efforts across the state to focus on various topics in a collaborative and cohort-style, continuous professional development framework. In July of 2023, Cara expanded her work from supporting one State Chapter to supporting 16, bringing a wealth of knowledge and enthusiasm to our SRCAC team. With a deep commitment to making a difference and building connections, Cara provides crucial support to programs across the Region. When Cara is not being caught reading and referencing “Upstream” by Dan Heath, she can be caught kayaking downstream across Illinois. RECOMMENDED RESOURCES: Leadershift: The 11 Essential Changes Every Leader Must Embrace by John C. Maxwell: https://a.co/d/7pqZPAG  Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes by William Bridges and Susan Bridges: https://a.co/d/ge0TF3N  Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts by Brene Brown: https://a.co/d/c9r2S3c  Radical Candor: https://www.radicalcandor.com  Working Genius: https://www.workinggenius.com  Southern Regional Children's Advocacy Center: https://www.srcac.org  Northeast Regional Children's Advocacy Center: https://www.nrcac.org  Regional Children's Advocacy Centers: https://www.regionalcacs.org  Looking for training and technical assistance for your Chapter, Children's Advocacy Center, or multidisciplinary team? Northeast Regional CAC provides training and assistance services to help you implement an effective, sustainable, collaborative response to child abuse. Visit NRCAC.org/request to learn more and request assistance today! Have an idea for a future Team Talk guest or topic? We want to hear from you! Click here to share your suggestions. Disclaimer: This project was sponsored by NRCAC from Grant Award Number 15PJDP-22-GK-03061-JJVO awarded by the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, Department of Justice. The opinions, findings, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this publication are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Department of Justice, OJJDP or NRCAC.

You've been taught vulnerability is strength, but what if that's half the truth—and it's costing you more than you realize? This week, DawnCheré Wilkerson joins me to dismantle the hidden toll of isolation. She shares how walking through infertility, life's furnace, and unsurfaced grief fractures the soul, and how secrets rob you of belonging before you even realize it. DawnCheré exposes why vulnerability isn't a spotlight; it's a sanctuary that demands integrity. She unpacks the orphan spirit every believer must resist, warns against idolizing therapy as the endpoint, and offers a path forward: a refusal to run, safety in community, and the spiritual grit to stay alive. If you're tired of pretending you're fine…if your pain feels invisible…and if you've mistaken therapy for healing, this episode is your call to come home. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

This week, Jen tells Pete all about her new hobby, and together they dive in to the positive aspects of snorkeling on land.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:What lessons from snorkeling in the sea can be brought to land?What are some areas we may take for granted in our lives?How might we renew our curiosity and observance of our surroundings?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

In this episode of Grow a Small Business, host Troy Trewin interviews Nicola Mason, co-founder of Smitten Merino, shares how she built a thriving Tasmanian fashion brand from her dining table to a $4M business with 30 staff. Using premium Merino wool, they've championed local manufacturing and sustainability, growing through clever strategies like authentic, personal email marketing. Nicola talks about navigating challenges during COVID, balancing rapid growth with family life, and how resilience and creativity turned their dream into a lasting success story. Why would you wait any longer to start living the lifestyle you signed up for? Balance your health, wealth, relationships and business growth. And focus your time and energy and make the most of this year. Let's get into it by clicking here. Troy delves into our guest's startup journey, their perception of success, industry reconsideration, and the pivotal stress point during business expansion. They discuss the joys of small business growth, vital entrepreneurial habits, and strategies for team building, encompassing wins, blunders, and invaluable advice. And a snapshot of the final five Grow A Small Business Questions: What do you think is the hardest thing in growing a small business? According to Nicola Mason, the hardest thing in growing a small business is making sure you don't damage family relationships along the way—especially in a family-run business. Balancing intense work demands with family harmony takes real intention. What's your favorite business book that has helped you the most? Nicola Mason shares that The E-Myth was one of the first business books that truly helped her, alongside Brene Brown's work on vulnerability and leadership, and she recently found Hanging by a Thread by Erin Dearing particularly relevant. Are there any great podcasts or online learning resources you'd recommend to help grow a small business? According to Nicola Mason, some of the best resources to help grow a small business include the Grow a Small Business Podcast, Diary of a CEO, Huberman Lab, and anything by Brene Brown. She finds these not only practical but also inspiring for both business strategy and personal development. What tool or resource would you recommend to grow a small business? Nicola Mason believes the best “tool” for growing a small business isn't software or tech, but the qualities of passion and resilience—showing up every day, even when it's tough. What advice would you give yourself on day one of starting out in business? Nicola Mason would tell herself on day one to keep going, hold onto the dream, trust the vision, and know that despite the setbacks, it truly will work out in the end. Book a 20-minute Growth Chat with Troy Trewin to see if you qualify for our upcoming course. Don't miss out on this opportunity to take your small business to new heights! Enjoyed the podcast? Please leave a review on iTunes or your preferred platform. Your feedback helps more small business owners discover our podcast and embark on their business growth journey.     Quotable quotes from our special Grow A Small Business podcast guest: Layer up in wool, layer up in courage — both will get you through the cold days — Nicola Mason Our customers don't just wear our clothes — they become part of our family story — Nicola Mason If you love what you do, you'll keep reinventing, even when the world wobbles — Nicola Mason  

When you're ‘not quite ready’ to raise prices, hire more team members, up that advertising spend… What’s the hidden toll? In today's episode, Stacey unpacks The Subtle Signs You’re Playing Small in your Business (and Don’t Even Know It). Sometimes shrinking back doesn’t look like fear—it looks like being “busy”, over-preparing, or endlessly tweaking. Such as: Avoiding awards, speaking gigs or collaborations because “others are more qualified” Saying yes to work that’s not aligned because you’re afraid to say no Delaying launching because “it’s not perfect yet” This is part 2 of a 3 part series, stay tuned to next week's episode to learn more.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If you want to hear what happens when two powerhouse speakers sit down to talk about passion, purpose, and connection, this one's for you! I had the absolute pleasure of chatting with Leigh Brown, a real estate mogul, best-selling author, and all-around badass. We dove deep into the power of saying YES, the loneliness of success, and how trust is the real currency in this disconnected world."People are hard to hate close up. Move in." – This gem from Brene Brown sparked a conversation about how we navigate relationships, leadership, and even sales. Because at the end of the day, it's ALL about connection.Tune in now—this episode is packed with wisdom, humor, and the kind of real talk we all need. Let us know in the comments:#Podcast #FeelingSeen #ConnectionMatters #RealTalk #PowerOfYes #TrustCurrency #SayYes #WomenSupportingWomenFollow Leigh:Facebook: leighbrownspeaker https://www.facebook.com/LeighBrownSpeaker/Youtube: leighbrownspeaker https://www.youtube.com/leighbrownspeaker?sub_confirmation=1Instagram: leighthomasbrown https://www.instagram.com/leighthomasbrown/LinkedIn: leighthomasbrown https://www.linkedin.com/in/leighthomasbrown/Rumble: https://rumble.com/user/leighthomasbrownTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@leighthomasbrownSubstack: https://housesandchickens.substack.com/Real Estate Training Courses: https://www.leighbrownuniversity.com | https://answers.realestatePodcast: Crazy Sh*t In Real Estate https://www.crazyshitinrealestate.compatriotrelieffund.comhttps://www.facebook.com/PatriotRelief Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You've been told therapy is the answer to everything. That if you just unpack hard enough, you'll finally be free. But what if that's not the full story? This week, Terry Crist joins me to challenge beliefs that cause deeper destruction. He's seen how long-standing secrets fracture the soul, how the orphan spirit grows in Christian homes, and how many believers never outgrow wounded identity, even into legacy years. In this conversation, Terry decodes why running away from truth never works, how idolizing therapy can drain godly authority, and why healing is never finished, even if you've been in the room for decades. He brings the fight where healing meets holiness, and shows how to refuse lie-lay, stop hiding, and step into belonging. If you've ever carried a secret, felt disconnected in the Church, or believed your wounds had an expiry date, you need to hear this episode. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

This week, Pete and Jen noodle on the practice of question and answer sessions, including their importance and the possible fears surrounding the unknown.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:What are some tactics and tips to host a successful question and answer session?How might we answer a question that we may not know the answer to?How might hearing questions from your audience allow you to gauge what is most important to address?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

In this rebroadcasted episode, Dr. Wes Eggett shares the BRAVING framework from Brene Brown as way to articulate the various aspects of trust. Dr. Eggett makes the case that dental team members and leaders can utilize this framework when trust has been broken to determine exactly what about the relationship caused the trust to be damaged. By putting words to why trust is broken, teams and leaders can work together to repair those aspects of trust and grow closer together.With trust being the first part of the TEACH Leadership Model, the importance of trust can not be overstated! Tune in to hear how you can better identify where trust can grow in your relationships and in the relationships with your team!Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/matrika/funk-style - License code: KUYOIZCBFCF1FOMP https://uppbeat.io/t/roo-walker/bolt - License code: RS1AU6Y5DGD5A3H8. https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: 5EUWDIFBWYHENXPQ

When you're ‘not quite ready’ to raise prices, hire more team members, up that advertising spend… What’s the hidden toll? In today's episode, Stacey unpacks how to recognise the subtle ways that shrinking back is costing you visibility and revenue in your business. Whether that be:* Missed income from undercharging* Burnout from doing everything yourself* Stagnant growth from under-investing in visibility This is part 1 of a 3 part series, stay tuned to next week's episode to learn more.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this solo episode, I'm reflecting on something my therapist said that really stuck with me: Does this align with your values? That question has been guiding everything lately—whether it's thinking about having a third baby, how I handle conflict, where I want to live, or how I show up in relationships. I talk through how I'm defining my core values (with a little help from Brene Brown), what it's like parenting two very different kids, why I'm rethinking LA, and why being single is actually a vibe when you do it right. This is a flowy, heart-centered catch-up—and I hope it helps you reconnect with yourself, too.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You've hit the wall. You've circled the same fears, same failures, same question: Now what? This week, Craig Cooney joins me to map out the 7 Stages of Life Transition—that spiritual, emotional, relational journey we all face when momentum crashes into burnout. He's walked past every threshold: loss, disillusionment, plateau, crisis. And he understands what happens when you blitz through “surviving” and find… something new on the other side. In this episode, Craig names the pain of transition: the loneliness of midsize dreams, the temptation to spin in place, the hidden grief behind “I'm tired,” and the silent desperation of burnout nobody talks about. And he exposes the breakthrough waiting when you refuse to stay stuck at the wall. If you're in the pause, the plateau, the painful “In-Between”—this episode will help you understand what stage you're in, give language to the hardship you're living, and show you the transformation lurking on the other side. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

This week, Jen and Pete reflect on how grateful they are for their clients, and what they can do when a genius is standing in front of them, ready to be coached.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:Why might a person who is excellent at their craft crave further guidance from a coach?What are some tactics and strategies for coaching a genius?How might ego stand in the way of coaching or leading?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

Part two in my Favourite things series to finish out June. Today we are talking all things TV, what's on now that I am loving and what I can't wait for that's coming soon. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this episode of Currently Reading, Kaytee and Meredith are discussing: Bookish Moments: reading at the beach and sisterly bookish tattoos Current Reads: all the great, interesting, and/or terrible stuff we've been reading lately Deep Dive: all the ins and outs of morning reading The Fountain: we visit our perfect fountain to make wishes about our reading lives Show notes are time-stamped below for your convenience. Read the transcript of the episode (this link only works on the main site) .  .  .  .  4:12 - Our Bookish Moments Of The Week 4:35 - God of the Woods by Liz Moore 5:23 - Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver 6:31 - Literally A Bookshop 1:37 - Our Bookish Moments Of The Week 7:02 - Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown 9:45 - Our Current Reads 10:03 - Ascension by Nicholas Binge (Meredith) 13:55 - Dark Matter by Blake Crouch 13:56 - Recursion by Blake Crouch 14:06 - The Anomaly by Herve Le Tellier 15:20 - Love and Saffron by Kim Fay 15:38 - Great Big Beautiful Life by Emily Henry (Kaytee) 17:44 - The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid 17:48 - The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield  19:49 - Hearts Strange and Dreadful by Tim McGregor (Meredith) 20:59 - 101 Horror Books to Read Before You're Murdered by Sadie Hartmann 26:11 - Stolen Focus by Johann Hari (Kaytee) 26:14 - The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt 26:17 - CR Season 7: Episode 40 31:40 - The Correspondent by Virginia Evans (Meredith) 37:20 - Amari and the Despicable Wonders by B.B. Alston (Kaytee) 41:58 - All About Morning Reading 43:25 - The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron 50:48 - Jobs to be Done by David Farber 50:59 - The Six Types of Working Genius by Patrick Lencioni 55:30 - Meet Us At The Fountain 57:38 - If you are interested in adding to your bookish life, do it in the form of a book club. (Meredith) 59:34 - I co-sign Meredith's wish this week! (Kaytee) Support Us: Become a Bookish Friend | Grab Some Merch Shop Bookshop dot org | Shop Amazon Bookish Friends Receive: The Indie Press List with a curated list of five books hand sold by the indie of the month. June's IPL is brought to us by one of our anchor stores, Schuler Books in Michigan Love and Chili Peppers with Kaytee and Rebekah - romance lovers get their due with this special episode focused entirely on the best selling genre fiction in the business.  All Things Murderful with Meredith and Elizabeth - special content for the scary-lovers, brought to you with the behind-the-scenes insights of an independent bookseller From the Editor's Desk with Kaytee and Bunmi Ishola - a quarterly peek behind the curtain at the publishing industry The Bookish Friends Facebook Group - where you can build community with bookish friends from around the globe as well as our hosts Connect With Us: The Show: Instagram | Website | Email | Threads The Hosts and Regulars: Meredith | Kaytee | Mary | Roxanna Production and Editing: Megan Phouthavong Evans Affiliate Disclosure: All affiliate links go to Bookshop unless otherwise noted. Shopping here helps keep the lights on and benefits indie bookstores. Thanks for your support!

Welcome back to 'Don't Cut Your Own Bangs!'    In this lively and heartfelt episode, Danielle Ireland chats with Ashlyn Thompson from the Parent Empowerment Network. Ashlyn shares her journey from growing her nonprofit organization to the emotional rollercoaster of her daughter's complex medical journey.    Get ready to explore how pain can be an unexpected teacher, the magic of community support, and why tapping into creativity can be your secret weapon against anxiety. Filled with laughs, valuable insights, and touching moments, this episode is a treasure trove of wisdom and joy. Tune in and enjoy the ride!   00:00 Introduction and Guest Overview 00:20 Ashlyn Thompson's Journey and Nonprofit Growth 01:10 The Importance of Community and Support 01:37 Embracing Big Feelings and Finding Joy 02:52 Welcoming Ashlyn Back and Discussing Growth 05:44 Navigating Pain and Empowerment 09:51 The Power of Perspective and Decision Making 14:27 Balancing Life and Nonprofit Work 21:21 The Role of Pain as a Teacher 30:48 Finding Comfort in Movement and Nature 33:09 Returning to Basics 33:35 Reflecting on Past Decisions 35:20 The Role of Pain and Fear 38:20 Parent Empowerment Network 44:25 Creativity as a Lifeline 49:21 Embracing Emotions 53:07 Don't Cut Your Own Bangs Moment 01:01:20 Conclusion and Resources   Ashlyn Thompson interview links Ashlyn Thompson, a passionate advocate and storyteller, is co-founder of the Parent Empowerment Network, a nonprofit providing emotional and mental health support to parents navigating pediatric medical complexities. She also co-hosts theEmpowered by Hope podcast, which equips parents with practical tools, resources, and a strong sense of community—delivered with a heavy dose of humor and hope to empower them as their child's best advocate. Ashlyn's fire for advocacy was ignited by her daughter Emery, who was born with bladder exstrophy. After Emery nearly died following a major surgery at just seven weeks old, Ashlyn became a fierce voice for patient safety. Unwilling to accept the limitations of domestic medical care, she discovered a surgical option in the U.K. that wasn't available in the U.S. at the time. In early 2023, Emery became the first American to undergo this procedure—and thanks to Ashlyn's relentless advocacy, that surgery is now available in America. When she's not advocating or recording podcasts, Ashlyn moonlights as a budding driveway chalk artist, chaos coordinator for her spirited family, and an avid nature lover. Chocolate is her daily vitamin, ADHD is her superpower, spiders and small talk are her sworn enemies, and she firmly believes laughter and boldness are two of a parent's greatest tools.   Parent Empowerment Network:  The Parent Empowerment Network exists to support, encourage, and educate parents of children with medical complexities—empowering them with community, knowledge, and confidence to be their child's fiercest advocate. www.ParentEmpowermentNetwork.org Empowered by Hope podcast on all major podcast streaming platforms: https://parentempowermentnetwork.org/podcast/   Social Media:  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Parent-Empowerment-Network/100083218456295/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/parentempowermentnetwork/   She is Charlotte book by co-founder, Emily Whiting:https://parentempowermentnetwork.org/she-is-charlotte-book/ DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.   Website: https://danielleireland.com/   The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal   Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/   Blog: https://danielleireland.com/blog/   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW   Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@danielleireland8218/featured “Don't Cut Your Own Bangs” is about creating a community around, and familiarity with, the messy middle—that uncertain and often chaotic and uncomfortable time in the middle of a process or journey. The messy middle is replete with ambiguity and challenges, but it's also where the hard and rewarding work happens.   Transcript [00:00:00] Danielle: Hello. Hello, this is Danielle Ireland and you are watching or listening to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs. I am so excited to be back in the interview seat. We've done some solo cast. It's been a blast. But Ashlyn Thompson is here with me today, and we just wrapped an incredible conversation. Ashlyn came on as a guest to talk about her work with Charlotte's Hope Foundation a couple of years ago. [00:00:26] She was about ready to embark right in the interview we were, she was. Days away from embarking on a trip to the UK for her daughter having a surgery with the only surgeon in the world who performed the specific type of surgery that her daughter needed. Her daughter's made a full recovery. It's a beautiful story we're gonna get into in this episode, but what I'm truly, if you could imagine even beyond that beautiful story, what I'm so excited to introduce to you and to that I was so grateful to witness and learn from. [00:00:53] Is that Ashlyn has grown her nonprofit organization, not no money in organization, but yes, a nonprofit organization that at the time, two years ago when we last checked in with her, was called Charlotte's Hope Foundation. It has grown. It's expanded, and it's evolved, and it's now the Parent Empowerment Network. [00:01:10] She and her co-founder also have a podcast for that same work, and what I love about the work that they do. They create community connection space and resources for parents and families raising children or any provider helping a child navigate medical complexities. And that sounds like such a hard and heavy and challenging topic. [00:01:33] And it is. But what Ashlyn embodies is. The work that I really wanted to bring to this season and this new phase of don't cut your own bangs, which I want big feelings to feel less scary. I want approaching them to feel possible. And then with that in mind, wherever possible, as much as possible, finding lightness, levity, and joy. [00:01:54] However we can do it. And I'm telling you, in this episode we did that. We accomplished that. We talk about important things, we talk about heavy things, and Ashland is vulnerable in a way that is inviting. But also something we can all learn from. And through the specificity of her life experience and what she's learned, there are universal nuggets that we can all find value in. [00:02:17] I know I did, and this was such a beautiful place to share, and we laughed. We had joy, we smiled . I hope that this topic invites you and encourages you to lean in and tune in because there are so many great nuggets of this. Thank you for being here, and I can't wait for you to sit back, relax, and enjoy. [00:02:38] Ashlyn Thompson [00:02:39] Hi. Yes, I know. Big jumps for both of us. I know. I feel like we're, it does feel like a lifetime ago. It I mean, in many ways it is. It's like we're, I mean, I'm still, me and all the key players are still playing. Right. But it does feel like a different life in a way. And I, with that in mind, I just wanna officially welcome you back. [00:02:55] Yes. Welcome. Ashlyn Thompson. Oh, thank. Don't cut your own bangs. I am so excited that you're here for many reasons, but the thing I'm most excited about is I think that. Building something or starting something creates a certain amount of effort and energy. Sustaining something, growing with it, breathing new life into it, that's a different part of a different element of a creative process. [00:03:17] And that's something I think specifically I'm really excited to talk to you about because you're parent Empowerment Network, which has it, it exists to support, encourage and educate parents and caregivers of children with medical complexities. And that was, it already was in existence when we, right, when we recorded the first time. [00:03:34] But it has grown. Grown. I went to a gala, people, she's throwing a gala fundraiser for her for her network. And so, I mean, I wanna hear about all the twists and all the developments of that, but more specifically the context I wanna provide for us and for this conversation. The thing that I'm really excited about, , and why I feel really passionate about bringing this to video. [00:03:57] Is that I want to help make big feelings feel less scary. Yeah. And I want to make, approaching them feel possible. And then with that in mind as much and as often as possible, laugh as much as possible. Amen. And so, right? So like, you are swimming in the trenches with people and even in your own life with people who are holding and making space for heavy things. [00:04:23] Yes. And yet there is a bright smile on your face. There's a twinkle in your eye. You laugh and you smile. And I wanna, and I don't know how to articulate what that is, but I want to, I wanna, that's something I wanna make space for in this conversation too. So it's important and it's big and it's emotional for sure, but also like, let's allow levity too. [00:04:42] Absolutely. I am so excited to be continuing our conversation, and I'm also really happy to know that. The person who's sitting here with you today is very much a different person from two years ago. And I feel like I have gone through multiple versions of myself just in the past two years. And that's one of the things that I truly celebrate about, not just the journey of parent empowerment network, but I think just growing and evolving as a human spirit, experiencing this life is recognizing that I say this phrase to only certain people, but I act, I feel compelled to share it now. [00:05:26] I feel like I have died a thousand times. And greeted so many versions of myself. But every time I rise into that extroversion and realize who I am, I like that person more and more. And. I feel like one of my greatest accomplishments just this past year has been truly settling into a, knowing a deep belief that life is meant to grow through, not go through. [00:05:58] And that change, that pivot of how I see the next big thing that comes up has been such a grounding force for me and has really helped me feel like I'm actually sitting in the driver's seat of my car. I don't know what I'm going to pass as I'm on this highway. In life. And sometimes life yanks me off on an exit I didn't plan. [00:06:23] And those exit ramps are typically the next lesson. But I'm grateful to be at a point where I can now see the next really hard thing emerging and not wanna hit reverse. Wow. Wow. Not that I like it all the time. No, God. But I can appreciate that this isn't out to crush me. This isn't here to take me down like I used to feel. [00:06:53] , Wow. There's a lot to unpack there for. Thank you so much for sharing that, but also not going in reverse. I wanna make a mental note, not going in reverse. The next version of me, I like better, and this is not here to crush me. Right. The, there's something, I got chills. I got full body chills when you, the la with the last thing that you said, because when I'm working with clients, there is this element and this is something. [00:07:18] I promise I'll come back to that original point there. There's an element of the work that I do where, and I'm sure you get this in your own way too, with like hearing stories from families who are holding really hard and heavy things. I think when I meet people for the first time, a common response is, wow, I don't know how you do what you do, or I don't know how you listen to that all day. [00:07:36] Or Oh man, and I think, yes, sure. There, there are certainly days and clients or moments where those stories are making space for people's big, heavy, painful experiences. Right. Is can be a lot at times. Far less anymore. But I think more than anything the va like, I feel so lucky to have the experience a hundred maybe even thousands of times over hurt people's pain. [00:08:03] And I know what pain sounds like. Yes. And there are different types and one thing that I absolutely believe to be true is that our pain is not personal. Our story is personal, right? But pain is not personal. And the events of our life, even things that happen to us, it's, there's it's almost shifting out of a, and I hope I can say this within the context that, that is heard with love. [00:08:27] But shifting out of a victim mentality right into it. Because being victimized or being stricken with grief or holding something hard like that is absolutely real. And also knowing that this is happening to me, but this is not gosh, what are the words I'm trying to find. It, what I'm hearing is you recognize how hard this is. [00:08:51] Whatever that insert blank. I recognize how hard this is, and I'm not going to make this pain so precious that I don't also see it as temporary. Yes, exactly. But there's something, so I think there's something really powerful and there's so much nuance to that because I certainly don't want to, people can be victimized, but the victim mentality is one of, in my professional experience it's one of the more challenging headspace to, for someone to walk out of. [00:09:21] Agree. It's really hard. Exactly. It shrinks your world. So, so much. That's well said. And we experience that very often. We really fo I mean we say all the time, you know, we are non diagnosis specific, non prognosis specific with the families that we work with, and we focus on the parents or the parent role, which could be performed by a sibling, a grandparent, a friend, an adopt, a lot of different people, but. [00:09:51] What we really found early in our journey and what helped us evolve into parent empowerment network was that recognition that, like you pointed out, pain is not it's not customized to your experience. The feeling, the emotional and physical experience relationship with pain is common through all of us, and it actually is a way that we can connect with each other when we recognize that. [00:10:18] When we stop comparing one another's pains. Now, don't get me wrong, if your kid got a bump on the head versus your kid needs a, you know, brain surgery. Right. Those are different. Yes. Very different. Yes. But most of the time we're not dealing with that. And what we have found is that when somebody is in that victim mentality, which is understandable, I think that's a, very important aspect to acknowledge when you're feeling like a victim, why is this happening to me? Or why is this happening to my child? Because I'll be the first to say, it's never okay when your child is hurting or sick or in harm's way or worse. I will never be okay with it. But when we say stuck in a victim mentality, our ability to problem solve goes from about here to here. [00:11:08] Yeah. And then your child is really the one who suffers. And I hate, it's a hard truth. But we have to face that truth because when we can help a parent start to find glimmers of hope, start to see that there's a way to build on quality of life rather than cure. Then you start to see this new version emerge where they are truly, you know, empowered advocates for their child. [00:11:45] There's something that I heard in what you said too, that a lot of times when I'm working with clients who are maybe knee deep in anxiety or depression, for example. I think why can be a powerful question, but I think a misplaced why is a really exactly damaging question. Like, why me? Why them? [00:12:02] Why this, why now? Because those are questions you can't answer that only lead to a defeating answer. Exactly. And usually another question or shame, but what I'm hearing a lot in when you. When you can kind of broaden your focus and sort of release that constriction from why you then can open yourself up to a different type of question. [00:12:23] How can I, exactly. How can I get through today? How can I get through this moment? What is needed most of me now? What do I need now? Right. And those types of the what and the how. Who do I need to show up for? Is it me? Right. Is it them? Who do I need to ask for help? Who has information that I need? [00:12:43] Those types of questions don't eliminate the pain, but it broadens the scope Yes. Of, of your field of vision. And I know that though, like, 'cause you are here in many ways. Oh, I hope it's okay to use this term. But I hope that you're here as an expert and you're also the executive Hope director of of the power impairment network. [00:13:05] And I think a lot of times. What we would imagine as the worst possible case scenario. Like the worst thing we could imagine would be something happening to our kids. This has been your lived experience. This has been your business partner's lived experience. And for, even though you have a podcast as well, where you really create a space and content and a community that helps people with that very specific set of circumstances, that Right. [00:13:33] I would imagine it's like. The best and worst club to be a part of. So we always say, we're so sorry you're in this club. Yes. But we're so glad you found us. Yes. Like it's the yes, we're really sorry, but at the same time, like, welcome home, welcome. And so I think a lot of the, a lot of the people who tune in to don't cut your own bang, I don't know how many would have this specific life experience. [00:13:57] Right. And if you do, oh my gosh, what a gorgeous resource you have in Ashlyn. Oh, thank you. And the Parent empowerment network and their podcast. But I do think that even in something like this, in within the specificity of everything you're saying, there is such a broad truth that I think we can all access and find value in. [00:14:16] And, yeah. So just thank you for all of that. And I want to, okay. I wanna shift a little bit to the growth of the parent Empowerment network. Right. Because, so when I originally started this podcast, what I was, what I really motivated me, one was I was terrified of becoming a therapist and having worked as a creative, and I just wanted to surround myself with other people who, who were building things, right? So that I could sort of sneak in my own needy questions. Like, how did you do it? How did you figure it out? What happened when you were scared? Like, what happened when your computer crashed? Oh my gosh. And you went from newly building something to, you have really grown. [00:14:53] Yes. You have really grown. And I wanna know having experienced the, you know, the gala that Right. That you that you threw that was so lovely. I wanna know . What led to the growth over the last two years? Because you're still momming, you're still life. Yeah. Your daughter is still being you. [00:15:08] I mean, like your life is still life and Yes. Life is still lifeing. How, in the midst of your lifeing, how have you also continued to grow this? And I really wanna know like what fueled your fire. And just tell me more about that story please. Yes, absolutely. So at the beginning of this, you know, when we started talking, you were very talking about how I'm sitting here smiling and I mean, I am fully, I am genuinely full of joy in this moment. [00:15:35] And I think I know actually that comes from being in something like we have with Parent Empowerment Network, which has been truly its own huge like business, right? We are called a nonprofit, but let me tell you, I mean, it is straight up business. [00:15:57] Is what it is in a lot of ways, and. That's the worst possible name for a tax category. It totally is. Because it's so confusing. Nonprofit doesn't mean no money. Right. Exactly. It's so confusing. We do not exist for free. Is great an idea as that sounds. I want that to be the slogan for every nonprofit. [00:16:16] I just, 'cause we don't exist for free. Right. You know the whole, you get what you pay for. It's, yeah. That's a whole other conversation. We're not gonna spend too much time there today. We should have a part two then. There we go. I'm okay with that. All right. So for that, what I think the biggest lesson that has. [00:16:33] Emerged from this journey just since we were, you know, you and I were talking a couple years ago when we were actually still called Charlotte's Hope Foundation. Yes. Which was our initial name. Yes. Because we had an idea for something that was this big at the beginning. And the name Charlotte's Hope Foundation fit that in theory. [00:16:52] But the thing I'm most proud of my, of Emily Whiting, who's my co-founder, fellow mom, fellow sister, fellow savior, at times the best thing we have done is allowed ourselves permission to grow and shrink as needed. And that's what we've done throughout this journey. It has not been a step process. [00:17:15] There have been countless times where we have grown two or three steps, been bigger, you know, working with international teams of surgeons, pulling together collaborations that have never been done, and then. There have been times where we have pulled back and we haven't released an episode for six weeks. [00:17:33] We have had maybe two or three social posts because our lives were on fire or just demanded all our attention, but it didn't mean we had to stop. I need to, oh my gosh. I don't know how many of you listening or watching can relate to that. I, there is a relationship I have with the expansion and contraction of output where if I'm not putting something out, producing something, making something that it really does a number on my sense of self worth. Right. And self esteem. And that is something that I'm still actively healing and repairing, because I definitely know the facts. I know. The really bumper stickery, self helpy sounding talk. [00:18:26] And I believe it. It's not that I, I don't hear it and think like, yeah. Right. It's just that there's a more practiced version of me, right. That has just had more at bats operating in a certain way. And then life in many ways rewards you for that. In theory. In theory. And I don't mean the like the laurels, like you get the the kudos pat on the back accolades but there is a cost, right? [00:18:47] There is a cost. And I think, in the I this past year I wrote a children's book called Wrestling a Walrus. And this the act of writing this book was something that I didn't realize that in the contraction, or even like in the I love the visual of the caterpillar becoming the butterfly. [00:19:09] 'Cause there's a two week process where the caterpillar is literally, we talk about the messy middle in this podcast and think, thank you Brene Brown, wherever you are for creating language and context for us for this very conversation. 'cause so much of this is inspired by that, but that gooey, mushy middle where it's not a butterfly, it's literally goo and it's Exactly, and it, and, but in that place, there is magic happening there. [00:19:33] Even if it, even though it looks like a pile of shit, right. Like, it's, there's magic happening there. I'll say the impetus or the inspiration, the. It was tough moments with my daughter, moments where I didn't feel like I was doing anything. Right. It like hitting the wrecking ball of, you know, being a parent of a toddler and a parent of an infant like that was, there's not enough grace in any space to help you go through that without serious, you know, support. [00:20:02] There were, I had some victim mentality at that point in time, even, and all things can be true at once. But all of that was what I experienced before I had the idea to write the book. And had I not had that experience, I wouldn't have been able to do that. Exactly. I don't think it would've been the same. [00:20:16] And [00:20:16] , and I promise this whole podcast isn't an ad for the book, but like, I really believe in this damn book and I love it so much. And I love that you talk about that expansion and contraction for yourself. And that you doesn't, it doesn't mean you have to stop. 'cause I think a big reason why I maybe avoided picking up the torch again and doing this podcast like I left it for so long, or I abandoned it for so long, or can I still do it right? [00:20:41] Like all of that stuff. And then yeah it. Yeah. Doubt doesn't mean you're done. No. And taking a pause doesn't mean you're stopping forever. But yeah. I mean, you can't just exhale forever. You can't just output like you eventually have to breathe in. Exactly. And that relationship is very necessary. [00:21:00] And so, I mean, everything you're saying is exactly what I need. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. And it, that lesson doesn't come easily. Nope. But I think another element of that, you know, building off of what you were just talking about, pain and discomfort and naturally shying away from it. [00:21:21] I challenge anybody in life to just take a moment to consider pain as a potential teacher, as a professor, rather than pain as an enemy, or pain as a destroyer. Right. If you ask yourself. Why does this feel painful? Because how many times do we all experience in our life something that really gets under our skin, but whether it's a spouse or it's a friend or a coworker and they seem totally unfazed by it, [00:21:56] and that used to be something that bothered me. I was kinda like what's, am I ever sensitive? Or like, what is my thing? And I grew up always hearing, not necessarily even from my parents, but I feel like. Teacher schools and saved by the bell commercials about find what you love in life and you'll never work a day in your life. [00:22:16] And that was great in theory, but I'm a very eclectic person. Yep. I love a lot. And all I was getting was a lot of burnout. That's also like saying like, love your kids and you'll never have a hard day with them in your life. You're like, no bs. No. I love my kids. But like, you know, oh my gosh, kids are the greatest, hardest thing of life. [00:22:33] Right. Right. But I think the same is true. Like , I never stopped loving this. Right. But I don't always have control over the life around. Right. But it's a, I think allowing things to be a part of you, not all of you, is really important. Yeah. And I think it's so easy to define ourselves by that output. [00:22:53] For me and Emily, the word is often it's impact. Are we actually making an impact? And the thing that helped us. Become okay with hitting the pause button when we needed to, and not officially throwing in the towel. Don't get me wrong, there were conversations about it, but we were always very honest with each other and we held each other accountable that if you are feeling like this is not jiving with your life, if it's not jiving with you personally, or it's not good for your family at this moment, let's hit the pause button and talk about it. [00:23:26] But realizing that if we only help each other while working on this, Emily and I, that's helping our kids, that's helping our families. And there's a domino effect from that goes from that. And if that's all we ever do, what's bad about that? You said something that I, it still stuck with me and it will probably be the title of this episode. [00:23:49] Pain is a Professor. Yes, it is. And I wanna go back to that because something that I talk about in my sessions a lot is that your emotions never lie to you. Now your thoughts are very different. Yes. Your thoughts can go a, now granted, we need to think critical thinking is important. [00:24:04] We probably need more critical thinking, but thoughts happen to us all day, every day, constantly. Right. I don't remember what the statistic is. I think we have roughly like eight thoughts a minute, something like that. I'm surprised it's not . Maybe that's just a DH adhd. And that could be too, like, yeah, there, maybe there's a spectrum. [00:24:18] Maybe it's eight to 80 thoughts a minute. Give or take. Give or take a hundred. But so thoughts happen to us now. We can certainly consciously choose what to focus on and what we think. But thinking happens, the emotions are in response to what we're thinking and believing. Exactly. And they never lie. [00:24:35] Right. And I But something you said like pain as a professor. And I like the thought that emotions are energy in motion. Yes. And they always have something for you to learn. There's something for every emotion. There is something it wants you to know. Right. And when you're not feeling good are we have more pain receptors in our body, unfortunately. [00:24:55] We have more pain receptors in our body than we do pleasure receptors. Like, and so when pain is activated, it just has a firmer grip. There's something that Martha Beck talks about that I love. It's called the, I think she calls it the Viper in the box of puppies. So if you were to imagine like, and enough said, right. [00:25:10] Done. You get it. But you hand, if I handed you a box full of like 15 adorable, gorgeous little puppies, I mean, it's, they're the most abundant, silly, loving, fuzzy source of love, safety, pleasure. I could really go for that right now. I mean, would it, that should be a, I'm hoping there's one hiding around somewhere. [00:25:28] We have a surprise for you, but if I were to then put a Viper in or a cobra in your box of puppies. All you're gonna see is the threat. Exactly. All you're gonna see is the threat. And I think in life, it's like we pop mo most of us more often than not, are probably living in lives with a lot of puppies. [00:25:48] But the viper, the threat is what consumes Oh yeah. So much energy and attention and shifting your focus from one to the other is easier said than done. And I wanna talk to you specifically about how you have found meaning or, and I, when I say success, I don't mean it in like a bullet point sense, but right. [00:26:12] Where you have found access to, you know, the viper, you know, or the cobra, you know, the box of puppies. Right. How you access that. I can certainly share how I have, but my emotions, I. I've learned in time. I don't always know exactly what they're telling me in the beginning, but I trust them enough to know that it's something. [00:26:36] And so the first place I try to access, if I'm not dissociating or avoiding, is to sit with it. Yeah. So usually it's like, I'm I'll just dissociate in my fantasy book or rewatching parks and recreation for the MPH teeth bajillion time. You know, it's just always a Sure bet. Yeah. It's just, it's hard for, life can only be so hard with Leslie Nope and little Sebastian, you know? [00:26:57] So anyway. But I wanna know where you find yourself in that shift. Yeah. Yeah. So you've got my head's like turning, I'm also still picturing puppies to be honest. That's okay. So I actually, I feel like I wanna give an example of something that I experienced last year, so two years ago. [00:27:11] It's crazy to think two years ago I went on this crazy journey to England. I went to London to take my daughter, who was not quite two years old yet to have a surgery over there for her ultra rare condition that was not available in the States. And I had talked to everybody in the States, of course, that had any knowledge about it and all they could tell me was, we don't really know anything about it. [00:27:35] We don't do it here. Kind of you're on your own, go for it. Or don't, we can't say that we would support you. All that matters is I went for it. And fortunately it did end up being the right decision, but I also knew that it could not be the right decision. And what I found on that experience was that I was originally desperate for picking the right way in life to move forward, that I could not make a decision. [00:28:06] I could not possibly move forward unless I was a hundred percent sure. But guess what? Life isn't real big on giving you a guarantee. Yeah. Guarantees with anything. And I think where I, that's where I started to learn that I don't have to have the answers to move forward. I can be looking at that box and I can see, oh my gosh, this could go terribly wrong. [00:28:34] But I think living with a hopeful mindset is something that allows me to keep my eye on that viper and then still interact with the puppies over here. My eye is still trained on it, but what I found is a peace in making my decision. And it was a, that feeling, that gut feeling. You know, it, I, it doesn't matter what you've gone through in life. [00:28:58] I can't believe that there's anybody out there who hasn't just had that. I call it just that knowing in your gut, it's a physical experience and that is something. That has helped me move forward in life. Because here's the thing, guys, nobody can ever stay truly still. And that's where a lot of our pain and discomfort comes from, is fighting moving forward without certainty. [00:29:23] Oh, let's pause right there. Oh my gosh. So there's something that Dr. Becky Kennedy who she has the good, she wrote the book Good Inside, and she's got her own beautiful podcast and work and content. She does. She really she focuses on kids, but she's really working on parents relationship with their inner child and by extension their parenting. [00:29:43] But she talks about something called, I've called it the Gap, but she calls it the learning space. So with kids, most of their frustration, tension and meltdowns happen between meeting a moment or. A moment arising and knowing how to meet the moment. And that learning space is usually the gap in knowing or understanding of this is what's arisen and I don't know how to meet this moment. [00:30:04] Right? And then if their context or their ability to meet it, if the moment exceeds their ability that's usually when there's a lot of pain or big feelings. Right. And I think with adults, that's usually where I see self-doubt, rumination anxiety, self-destructive tendencies. [00:30:23] Come in and you're right. You're, I love that you said we're never really still, I mean, one that's just true based on science and physics. We're never still that's actually one of the, like, there's like two necessary components, maybe three to being a living, being or a living entity. [00:30:36] I think, what is it? Movement, cell division, reproduction, and, I don't know, something else. Hey, anyone here pop off in the comments if you're a science boss, please gold star for you. Please. But but yeah, we're never truly still. And so even when you feel stagnant and stuck and even hearing you say that I'm actually processing in real time, one of the things that I have done that I, I discovered by accident, but probably because my body knew better than my mind did. [00:31:04] I would, it often does. I would take my feelings on walks. I would, I talked about that movement is essential if you are literally feeling stuck. I tell, that's what I tell everybody. Anytime they're spiraling. Which it's understandable. Go for a walk. Even if it is five minutes, walk up and down your stairs. [00:31:22] Or at the least one of my favorite things thank you Instagram reels for sucking up so much of my life at times in the hospital, but sometimes, but it's, sometimes it's, it is the perfect escape. It's okay to let the pressure off of ourselves. But there was this one that I saw it was this therapist who was like in her seventies and she was in Ireland and she's walking around in like this, you know, the quintessential Ireland landscape. [00:31:47] And she said, I tell all of my clients when you have a problem or a worry or something that's making you feel like you need to hurry, walk outside where you can see the sky and look up. Because the moment you remove a ceiling from your view, from your your line of sight, your mind opens with it. [00:32:08] And possibilities grow. And I have experienced that so often. And you think about it where you, when you're in a confined space. It only adds to those feelings of I'm stuck or I'm out of options, or I can't deal with this. But when you go outside and the world is just showing you how big it is and how small you are, there's actually a ton of comfort in that. [00:32:35] There's, I've also read and heard that there's something about the way that our eyes sort of gently move and follow and track side to side. Yeah. The movement around us that activates a similar calming sensation that our body experiences in REM sleep. Because if you're tracking a bird or tracking a squirrel, or just simply seeing like the trees and movement, track your kids. [00:32:55] Right. That'll keep you, your eyes all over the place. Girl. But like, 'cause right now we're facing a computer screen and we're in, we're under lights. Like, it's a very I mean, it's a lovely container, but it's a sterile container by comparison of being outside. And I Right. I do think that sometimes, like, like Lifeing. [00:33:11] It can be hard, and I never wanna oversimplify holding the challenges and moving through the challenges. Right. And yet I think sometimes when something feels overly, when something feels complex and impossible, it's almo. I, my instinct is to abandon the basics. And that is always the place to start. [00:33:32] That's always the place to start, is to go back to the basics. [00:33:35] Knowing what you know now what. Do you think the version of you, I wrote down three years ago, but I wanna go back to two years ago bef, like as you were navigating all the travel plans and the decision to go to the UK for your daughter's surgery, what do you think that version of Ashlyn needed to hear or needed to know? [00:33:55] And then the follow up question to that, after you answers, do you think she would've believed you? [00:33:59] It's really funny that you're asking this question because I actually had a conversation yesterday with a neighbor's daughter who is a film student, and this question has actually been going through my mind a lot lately about, I wonder where my life would be if I'd known this in my early thirties, if I'd known, or if I had known this in my twenties. [00:34:23] And I kept kind of going backwards like, I didn't know this then. Oh maybe if I'd known this. And I kept just, like I said, looking back and then what I realized is. It's so important that I didn't know those things because I had to experience them with the challenges. I had to climb the mountains for the first time to really understand the importance of gaining those skills for myself. So I actually think that Ashlyn, a couple years ago, I may have wanted to hear, I, what I wanted to hear was, you're making the right decision. I wanted to be validated by doctors, by people who I typically refer to as the ones who have the alphabet after their name. [00:35:06] Can somebody please just tell me, check, you know, you're making the right choice. Or this is what I would do if it were my child. And I wanted it so desperately that I, it did almost prevent me from going. But I am blessed that because of other experiences before that, right where pain had started to evolve into a guide for my life, a way of understanding what is most important to me. [00:35:37] It clarifies a lot. Exactly. Because often, you know, pain and fear are often about things we can't control, right? And what it showed me was that I don't need guaranteed outcomes to be able to sleep at night. I know that if I don't give it everything, including the kitchen sink, I won't be able to sleep at night. [00:36:03] I won't be able to look at Emery when she's an adult and tell her. We tried absolutely everything we could to give you the best quality of life, and that's what I needed to be able to give her. In order for me to feel good about the mom I am. And that's what was most important to me at that time. [00:36:23] So it sounds like maybe you trust in your ability to meet the moment enough that you don't think you would've gone back and told yourself anything? No, I think, and that's something that, like I said, I'd been thinking about a lot, like how many times if I'd only known this, if I if I'd only held my boundaries or if, or you know, these standards or, you know, all the things I could have done differently. [00:36:48] But as I said at the beginning of this, I feel like I have lived a thousand lives and become. A thousand new versions of myself, but you don't become your next self without going through something that carves away at you to reveal it. We don't grow through the easy no we stay stagnant. And besides small talk, my biggest fear in life is staying stagnant. [00:37:20] God, can we just let go of small talk? Oh my gosh. We all have a weather app and we all know the traffic patterns at this point. Like, do you know what's so funny about the weather app? I'm gonna use it every day. I treat my husband like the weather app, and we have an Alexa, like in, literally, like, I'll ask him what the temperature is and he'll be like. [00:37:41] Alexa. I just, oh my goodness. It's like those basic the basic like things of moving through life. I don't know why. It's like I've, I have this like faux that's of publicist. I'm like, I don't know what I'm, so what's the weather? I can't look out the window. I can't ask my own Alexa. [00:37:56] I always think, I think it's, I think it's more like, I think it's fair to acknowledge those as high. There's higher priorities that take up front of mind space. That's right. That's right. Things' so focused on the big things. Right? Yes. It's okay. We're not meant to like, you know, and I think that's another, that's one point I feel really compelled to bring up in this conversation based on all these things we've talked about, you know? [00:38:20] Yes. thank you for the chance to share what Parent Empowerment Network does, and the Empowered By Hope podcast is about addressing the real hard, the messy like, because as far as we're concerned, like once you get the news, your child is not okay. You're living in the messy middle from there on out. [00:38:36] And it can make you, or it can break you. And we're there to tell everybody, we promise this will make you. Even with worst case scenario, and that's a bold statement, but, you know, but it's one you've lived and I exactly. And I've seen countless others live, right? But I think it's so important that everybody, you know, I guess my dream would be if everybody could just realize we are not meant to carry pain and hardship and struggle by ourselves. [00:39:07] That's really what Parent Empowerment Network does. That's really what our podcast does, is it directly says to everybody who gets a chance to interact with us or who we have the honor to meet with. It just says, Hey, you are not expected to hold this alone. You know, put some of that on our plate. [00:39:24] Let's hold it together because it'll be better for everybody. It's not just you is like, again, that's what frees you from a victim mentality. You are not the only one who's ever experienced this. Right. You are not the only one who has suffered this way. And in by no means it's not to minimize. [00:39:40] Right. Exactly. It's not belittling it, it's not, it's definitely not dismissing it. But it's meant to serve as a lighthouse. Right. Our stories are unique. Yes, of course. And so that's, and I think that's what is endlessly, I will never be bored having an in-depth. Not small talk with the love of God, but like, I will never I will be endlessly fascinated by other people. [00:40:01] Because the stories are unique. Yeah. But there is a common thread that we can all see ourselves in or relate to. That, it's so enriching. Yeah. It's almost like, maybe because it's spring and, but I'm thinking it's like the pain is like the compost. Yeah. Something has to die in rotten decay in order to nurture something new. To grow. Yep. Exactly. And I, and that pain serves as fur. It's fertilizing the new, the next round of growth. Right. Yeah. It's not making anything vanish or destroying it, it's just, but it has to break down to build back up. I think that's why mosaics are my favorite type of art. [00:40:39] Yeah. I have such a strong connection to any piece that I see that's made up of a mosaic. And I remember that coming true for me when my dad had his massive stroke and. You know, he was completely debilitated, couldn't speak for himself, couldn't move his own body. He lived like that almost two years. But I remember getting really close to a couple key therapists in his life. [00:41:04] And I remember just after he passed, I got them both a small gift. It was these little mosaic art pieces for them. And I said, when I saw those, I knew that this was the right thing because you didn't see my dad as a destroyed person. You saw him as for the broken pieces. He was that to be put back, to be put together into something that was new and beautiful on its own. [00:41:33] And that's what I feel like pain has the ability to do for all of us. It's okay. And I to acknowledge that you are broken. But it's also just as important to acknowledge that you can be remade into something. You, the old you is gone. You know, when we go through something awful hard, unimaginable it's really easy to think that I will feel this way forever. There is a finality that we attach to painful experiences and it takes often somebody from the outside to gently help us realize that's not reality. I often, when I'm in that transition and I'm not aware or I'm just not ready to admit there are either, there's usually it's I there's usually things I wanna carry along with me. [00:42:28] Yep. It's like. Like an old dingy snugly blanket or like a stuffed animal that like has like holes worn in and like an eyes popped off. It's just but I when I've gone through those transitions, it's saying goodbye to maybe friendships that aren't serving me. [00:42:42] Yep. Or titles, roles levels of output expectations, stories, ways of being and the way, and to go back to pain as a professor, which is going to be the title. That it's only when I try to take the old way of being or the old relationship that is no longer serving into my new now reality. [00:43:04] When it feels anything other than good. Yeah. That's information exactly that it's showing me something and. That curiosity over constriction can also for me look like curiosity over criticism. And because that criticism is usually either dialed inward, what's wrong with me? Right. Or what's wrong with them? [00:43:25] Versus , what is happening Exactly. What's going on? What is this showing me? And I would say probably saying goodbye to relationships or friendships has probably been the hardest. Yeah. The hard, because there is this idea that I'm like if I like it, and it's like in a possessive way. [00:43:42] It's, if I like you forever. And I, and of course that is true. I mean, it, there's nobody who's been in my life that's added value that I don't appreciate. Right. But but I think that the shedding. Yeah. It's like I, I want the next thing, but I also don't wanna let the old thing go. [00:43:56] Right. And so it's, I think I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to like, pull that thing with me. Whatever it is and whatever that stage. But I think that there's when you can fully embrace, 'cause what I'm hearing from you is when you can fully embrace I am different now. [00:44:11] Yep. This is different. This mosaic. I'm not, I may not be able to carry water like I was as a vase. Right. But I'm gonna look really great as this. Yeah. And the other thing I wanna shift to before, before I get to your, don't cut your own bangs question. What I wanna ask you, you've mentioned art a couple of different times. [00:44:28] And this is to, to reference Dr. Martha Beck again. She has done a lot of incredible work in the last couple years where a way to. Step out of anxiety is not to try to access calm. 'cause we talked about going for a walk, right? So, because as much as I love these big conversations, it can be sometimes like, what is something tangible I can actually hold onto? [00:44:53] So walking with something we talked about community and connection with something else we talked about, but Art, I wanna talk about that for a moment because that is what my book was for me. Yeah. It was I created something that only that felt like it was to serve me. The process of interacting with that idea was so delightful and so delicious and so fun that I was like, I feel like I'm just the luckiest person that like this is, oh wow, I get to play with this thing. [00:45:21] Yeah. And it wants to play with me. And I don't feel that all the time. Like sometimes it's origami or doodling or coloring with my daughter. But to go back to Dr. Martha Beck's work that the opposite of anxiety is not calm, it's creativity. Oh, I love that. And you have by default really spoken through, like just healing through creating. [00:45:43] Oh, absolutely. And also there's something about, 'cause calm, there's something about calm that like, we must be still, and granted I love meditation, but like, I must be still, I must be calm. But when you are holding something that is buzzing and shaking or heavy or hot, like just some emotions are hot, like you, it's like you wanna move it through your hands or your words or your body and make something, right. [00:46:06] And you made me, she made me this bracelet before we started this episode. So like, it feels like you have a relationship with creativity too. A hundred percent. Creativity is a lifeline. And I feel like, and the most chaotic moments of my life have been the least I'm my least creative and I think it's a really. [00:46:29] Valuable, tangible thing for anybody to take from this conversation is if you are feeling out of control, lean into something as simple as I'm obsessed with those adult, you know, like the coloring books. Yes. You know, for adults to have like tons of different like lines all over the place that you have to be like really specific to keep the marker in there. [00:46:51] It can't, I do get a little bugged when it like bleeds over to the next section, but, , it's okay. I know I'm working through my, , my stressors at that moment. But yes, giving yourself a creative outlet, it's like taking a big drink of water after you've been exercising and you are so parched. [00:47:07] And I also agree that , calm sounds great in theory, but for me I feel like the more important, like the word that's become more important or I'm better able to. Absorb is the idea of am I grounded? Are my feet touching the ground? I can still have a lot going on, but when I'm like rising higher, you know, off the ground, 'cause like, I'm like a bird at this point, just flapping my arms so fast, right. [00:47:35] That I'm actually taking flight. I'm not in my best head space, but when I can just take a moment to literally just ground myself, make sure that my feet are, whether it's in the grass or sit down like this. And a conversation with a friend, somebody who really knows you is a great moment for that. [00:47:53] It's a great way to remind you who you are is somebody else. Sometimes I talk all the time about the value of when you can connect with somebody who feels with you, not just for you. Oh my gosh. It makes the world so much lighter and goodness. I mean, huh. That's probably if I could have answered the question I asked you a little bit ago, what's something that you could have if I could have told my former therapist self, like when I very when I first started, you're there to hold space for people to feel and feel with them. [00:48:23] Right. Exactly. You're not there. It's sacred. Yeah. It's there's nothing, one, it's like, there's nothing I can tell someone who's deeply in pain that they're actually gonna No. , That's, the words are just like, right. It's just noise. Yeah. And not to take anything. I'm sure I have clients who have been impacted by words. [00:48:40] But having a safe space to feel your feelings free of judgment. Is one of the reasons why I love journaling so much, but also doing that in communion Yeah. With another human right who expects nothing of you. I love Elizabeth Gilbert has language I love, like there's no precious outcome. [00:48:57] Like I can, that I can sit and have space with you or I can make plans with you or be, and there's no precious outcome. You don't have to perform for me. Right. You don't have to be anything for me. Like we can just be that is what a gift. Yes, that is. I just want to, this conversation has inspired way too many thoughts, but in the best way. [00:49:15] But something that hit me and then I think we could absolutely move on to Yeah. This the cut your bangs question. But what I've realized even in our conversation is that logic is not loud . our emotions are loud and they get louder and louder. The more we. Push them back the more we ignore them. [00:49:36] Think of your kids until they, when they need your attention. Because they deserve your attention. They do. The best thing we can do is acknowledge those emotions and just, even if it's as simple as, it's totally understandable. I feel this way right now. That is such a freeing sentence. Of course, I feel this way right now. [00:49:58] That was some serious shit that I just went through. Yeah . of course, I feel, and it doesn't have to make sense when those feelings hit the timing a lot of times feelings for me, I've found won't hit until I'm in a safe space much further down the road. Yes. And it's like being T-boned, like yes, totally out of the blue. [00:50:19] But that's also what happens to kids when they have tantrums. Ah, yeah. They'll hold. And then when they're finally either home at the end of the day or something, when the container is so full and they're finally in a place where they feel safe, they'll erupt over an orange peel not being peeled correctly. [00:50:32] Or , or a banana not being peeled correctly. Oh gosh. And it's not that, don't even start me on string cheese. God. Oh God. Parenting is fun. The best, but No, but you're right. Sometimes, I think that's probably why I cry almost with like every movie and TV show I watch. [00:50:47] Yeah. Because the emotions are just always right there and I just need a place to let it trickle out. Right. And that's okay. And I think, but just not judging ourselves for feelings. And then I think once we give that space or the feelings, the sooner we can do that, the sooner that logic, you know, like you, you mentioned multiple times, I know this, then you give logic. [00:51:13] The space that it needs to speak to you in a calm and quiet manner that you can actually trust. And that's where I think that those gut feelings truly come from. Those inner knowings are, when you've allowed space for the emotions first, given them their due. So then the logic can start to talk to you because it's never going to yell for your attention. [00:51:35] No. And I think we want it to, but that's not the way it works. And that's okay. A lot of times things make sense in hindsight, oh gosh, hindsight's 2020. Always. South Park has a great episode. If people if you have just like a dark sense of humor and you wanna laugh at, there's a character called Captain Hindsight and it's really funny. [00:51:54] . So yeah, a lot of times things don't make sense until we're. A little bit more removed from them. Yep. And some what I have found to be helpful, I've noticed you using your hands. Yeah. And I find when I am, when my mind is really active and I need it to stop or slow down or I just i'll sometimes even throw my hands up. Yeah. And I'll say, and even saying. I'm feeling something and just to myself in my kitchen. 'cause I'm almost always , because I work from home, I'm either like in my office or in my kitchen, like I'm feeling something. As soon as you did that, it's gonna show on video. [00:52:25] I like saw from the corner of my eye myself, naturally going, whew. Yeah. Just sound like inhale. Exhale. Yes. It's like something is being felt. Something's happening. I don't know what it is, but something's happening. And I think, in a lot of ways too, like that's how we have these internal smoke signals. [00:52:42] Yeah. And it's the same way, like your smoke detector in your house doesn't know the difference between burnt toast and something on fire, right? But it will beep when it senses. Yeah. When it senses something. And so my body is like sensing something. Is this a threat? [00:52:56] Are we safe? Yes, we're safe. Oh, we're likely. We just needed water. We're just dehydrated. Uhhuh. Or we just, yeah. So any number of things. But that was so good. Thank you. And yes, I would love, love, love to know your don't cut your own bang moment. And for anybody who is new to the podcast, 'cause I think there are some new people here. [00:53:15] Thank you for being here. Don't cut Your own bang moment is a moment where you went all in on something like cutting your own bangs, you grabbed some scissors, you watched a YouTube video, you're like, I got this. And you go, and then, oh no, this wasn't what I thought it would be. But the value in a don't Cut Your own Bang moment is not only that we can share in the silliness of humanity and mistakes, but also like maybe we learn something from it. [00:53:42] So, Ashlyn? Yes. I would love to hear your Don't cut your own bang moment. Oh my goodness. I think that there's probably a plethora of them. Oh, of course. And, let's see here. I'm even, I tried to have one prepared, and then I got excited about the rest of our conversation. Oh my gosh. Don't worry. So, okay I'll share one. [00:53:58] So what's a good, don't a good, oh. I invited my husband to record a podcast with me because I thought it would just be, , fun to bring him back on. And what I realized was I didn't prepare him for it at all. I just set up lights and set up a camera and asked him to sit. And he was so, visibly like he was trying, he was sitting, he was trying. [00:54:23] But I could just tell, again, something's happening. And I could tell he was a little uncomfortable and a little stiff. And I kept, because our eyes look out. My first assumption is, what's wrong out there? And I was like, what are you okay? What's wrong? And he he was , I don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing. [00:54:41] And then I was like. Oh, no, it was snip the bangs. I didn't provide any context. I didn't give him any preparation for what we'd be talking about, why we'd be talking like he had no context. And the whole setup is different, uhhuh. And it was such a humbling, settling moment of context. [00:55:04] It's I'm writing something right now about this idea of play. I'm a freedom loving, freedom seeking play hungry, greedy person right now. I want more play. I could never get enough. But what makes play feel fun and safe is to understand the context. Yeah. , There's rules in a game. [00:55:20] Otherwise, what is it? And I, my first instinct is to buck. Rules. I don't like ingredient lists. I don't like recipes. I just wanna feel my way through it. But, if you wanna make a beautiful croissant, you can't just feel your way through that. There's a very exacting way to do it. And so, it, it was such a one, I'm endlessly grateful for him and his patients with me. [00:55:40] I'm grateful that , our dynamics not new, so he probably knew what was going on, but just did yeah he's pretty sweet that way. But I, it was such a refresher that , if I wanna create a space and container to play safely with people Yeah. I need to give them the context. Absolutely. And it doesn't matter how long I've known someone, how well I know someone. [00:55:59] I laughed at myself because I, the part of the reason why it feels funny to me, but in like a humbling way. I thought the problem was him for like the first 15 minutes. I was like, what dude? Relax. I was like, what? Is he doing it right? [00:56:12] Yeah. like come on. And I was like. Oh no. Context. Zero. Oh my goodness. So that was a great one. Thank you. Okay, I'm gonna do mine in like short seconds because this one just hap this that inspired me perfectly. So my 8-year-old son and I are both going to the same therapist right now. [00:56:30] I'm a believer everybody should have at least an annual checkup with a therapist, but that's a great endorsement. Everyone should have an you annual checkup. You welcome, reach out to Danielle, she's fantastic. If you live in Indiana, by all means. If not, we'll help you find someone. Yes. And also order the book. [00:56:44] Yes, order the book. Get resting the wall risk. Get treasured. Yes. But go on please. So anyway one, one of the things that my I, the reason I love the person we're working with is because she's the first therapist I've worked with when it comes to, with my kids, she actually tells me what I can work on rather than just , you're doing the best you can and like you just love 'em. [00:57:03] And like, yes, I know, but that is not helping me. And so one of the things that got pointed out to me. Was so Cole , has very low frustration tolerance, like more so than is necessarily healthy for an 8-year-old. And of course with all the trauma with our his sister, our journey, it's understandable. [00:57:22] So we're working on that. What she kindly pointed out to me was, okay, we could work on his, but do you also realize that your tolerance for acceptable emotions is about this big? Oh, she's , therapist, be therapist Uhhuh. She's , but there's like a whole lot more emo like, she's , it's like a whole rainbow. [00:57:42] We need a whole arc for acceptable emotions. She's so you need to stop making it your responsibility to control which emotions he experiences. And it's up to you to provide the solid ground for him no matter which emotion comes up for him. And I will say that has changed my parenting in the last week. [00:58:04] More than maybe anything has like faster than anything. Because all of a sudden I'm like, of course it's acceptable that his sister just made him extremely mad. Of course it's understandable that he's jealous or sad or excited or whatever the feeling is, but it also doesn't define him as right or wrong, what emotions he's experiencing in that moment. [00:58:28] And the big thing was the realization that every emotion he experiences is not a direct reflection of who I am as a parent. No. Because that was what I needed to let go of that any emotion that is considered negative that my child has doesn't mean. That I'm doing a bad job as a parent. Oh my God. [00:58:49] That is one. What a beautiful. Don't cut. Thank you. With Dr. Sarah. Yes. Thank you, Dr. Sarah. You'd be therapizing all up in that session. That was so good. And it's the, that to me is a great example that hard truths can always be delivered with kindness. Yeah. But I think the big important thing there is you had the right context. [00:59:12] Exactly. You went to her for that information. Right. It wasn't like someone on the street. But the thing that we can't give someone what we don't have. Exactly. And I actually think that what you just said, if there was ever an endorsement for what. Self-care actually is not the commoditized, right. [00:59:29] Faux sense of, I'm gonna create a problem and I'm going to prescribe collagen. Did you know that the reason why, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah is these things that you need to buy and, oh, my program for blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm gonna, I have all that stuff. I'm not I'm wanna, I wanna keep it in perspective. [00:59:45] I am drinking the same Kool-Aid 'cause I'm getting sent the same algorithm ads that we're all getting sent. Like I'm doing colostrum now. I don't even know. Like, I just, because I was like, my gut might grow up I own, but anyway but I think self-care and the best possible context is when you nurture. [01:00:03] And heal yourself. It becomes the medicine. Yes. Yes. And the offering for the other people in your life that you love most. It's like as you increase your own palette of what you're able to allow yourself to experience, you're then also able to see it in your son and give it to him. That is so beautiful and it's hard. [01:00:26] Sometimes, but it's some God that a well timed, articulated loving truth like that can change your life. Yeah. That is amazing. Thank you. I don't know, we can't top that. That was good. We're good. That was real good. Ashlyn Thompson, thank you so much for coming back and we're going to have you back. [01:00:43] You have to come back. Yes. And you're coming over to Empowered by Hope very soon. I would love that so much. And Yes. And so all of the ways, if you or anyone you know in your life has been impacted by a little one with complex me complex medical issues and you want some support, you want some information, you want some resources. [01:01:01] The link in the show notes will have every way that you can connect with Ashlyn, her business partner, and what was formally Charlotte's Hope Foundation, what is now the Parent Empowerment Network. Pick up all the books, all the resources, everything I talked about too for my stuff is also in there. [01:01:16] But , it's all linked for you there. So I hope that you get what you need and. Thanks so much, . Oh my gosh. [01:01:21] If you've ever wanted to pick up journaling,

Ever catch yourself thinking, “I'll be happy when…”? This episode invites you to shift that belief. Through presence, gratitude, and self-awareness, you'll explore how real peace and joy are built from the inside out—starting in this very moment. Tune in to reconnect with simple, steady practices that help you feel more grounded, resilient, and free. This is a repeat of one of my most impactful episodes—a message always worth revisiting. If you found this podcast enjoyable, kindly consider subscribing and leaving a rating or review. Additionally, I'd appreciate it if you could share it with your friends to spread the love!  You can also follow me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Twitter, and LinkedIn. If you are interested in my work, please check out my books, The Gift of Maybe: Finding Hope and Possibility in Uncertain Times (including a new audiobook), A Year Without Men: A 12 Point Guide To Inspire and Empower Women and my new Audiobook,  Maybe Everything Is Okay, A Parent's Guide To Less Stress and Worry. Also you can check out my new Maybe Cards: A Path to Stress-Free Living or my new digital Maybe Journal. Above all, my sincere wish is that this podcast has contributed to less suffering and more joy in your life!  

You've been sold a lie: that authenticity means spilling everything and bleeding on everyone. That your pain validates your platform and makes you more mature. This week, Levi Lusko joins us to dismantle that fallacy. He's faced the brutal shock of grief and the hidden ruins of unsurfaced trauma. He's walked through the disillusionment of midlife irrelevance. And he's learned the hard truth: healing doesn't include weaponizing your pain, and authenticity doesn't mean emotional anarchy. In this episode, Levi pulls back the curtain on what happens when grief blindsides you, why trauma must be surfaced before it surfaces on others, and how midlife loss of relevance can become the birthplace of greater purpose. We talk about the toxicity of “authenticity culture”—why sharing pain doesn't always lead to healing, and why containment, resilience, and sacred boundaries are essential. If you've ever bared your struggle and felt worse… if you're deep in grief or navigating a midlife low… this conversation will give you clarity, grace, and a restoration plan. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

This week, Pete and Jen explore the idea of what is "enough", and how we might think about who that enough is for.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:How does the definition of what is enough change based on context?Why might there be societal pressure to do more than enough?How might we allow ourselves to examine what is enough, at bare minimum?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

Send us a textMike Nellis is the founder of Authentic, a digital fundraising firm that's raised over $1 billion for it's clients including Kamala Harris, Adam Schiff and numerous Governors, Senators, and high profile organizations. He was also a Senior Advisor to Kamala Harris 2020 presidential campaign, the co-founder of White Dudes for Harris in the 2024 presidential campaign, and an active thinker and leader on how progressive politics has to evolve in a changing world.IN THIS EPISODEGrowing up in a conservative, middle class home in Omaha...Anti-Iraq War protests draw Mike into political activism...Mike's time as an Obama volunteer and fellow in the '07-'08 Iowa Caucus...On the campaign trail from Nebraska to North Carolina to Connecticut and more...Mike's connection to the 2016 Bernie Sanders' campaign...Mike's take on why a full primary would've helped the Kamala Harris' 24 presidential effort...Mike founds Authentic, a firm focused on online fundraising...Mike's time as a Senior Advisor to Kamala Harris 2020 presidential bid...Behind the scenes of designing the Harris' 2020 logo...Mike's recent focus as a General Consultant for campaigns...Why Democrats have become so risk-averse?Mike co-founds the White Dudes for Harris 2024 group...What Democrats must do to better appeal to younger men...The right balance of economics vs culture in Democratic campaigns...Should messaging and governance go big or go small?Where do Democrats need to move to the center?Mike's encouragement for those working in politics to stay healthy...AND...90s pro wrestling, AKAs, Avon, Brene Brown, George W. Bush, Pete Buttigieg, Carter Lake, James Carville, Bob Casey, Shirley Chisolm, Bill Clinton, John Fetterman, Flagrant, Scott Galloway, Jared Golden, Al Gore, Nikki Haley, hollowed-out banks, John Kerry, Larry King, Jane Kleeb, Scott Kleeb, Dan Malloy, Joe Manchin, Elaine Marshall, Ross Morales Rocketto, Morningside University, Elon Musk, music appreciation class, Trevor Noah, Martin O'Malley, Orange Theory, Ben Ostrower, Jordan Peterson, Ro Khanna, Chris Rock, Joe Rogan, Pat Ryan, Adam Schiff, Lis Smith, Tim Tagaris, Andrew Tate, Vampire Weekend, Theo Von, Tim Walz, Paul Wellstone, Wide Eye Creative & more!

You've asked for it, here it is. My first favourite things episode for 2025. In today's episode we unpack what I have been reading, we have one new selection and one oldie but goodie! Stay tuned for next weeks episode. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You've been told addiction is a disease or a moral failing. That emotional pain is separate from your brain wiring. And that quantum physics is just science fiction jargon. This week on Win Today, Dr. Lee Warren—a neurosurgeon, Iraq War vet, and author—pushes back on all of that. He exposes how unraveling addiction requires more than therapy—it demands restructuring your neural pathways. He digs into how neurodivergent brains function, why most spiritual advice fails, and how quantum physics reveals that your brain isn't a victim—it's a participant. Lee will show you why normal isn't enough, why passive hope is setting you up for failure, and why self‑brain‑surgery—rewiring your neural patterns—is the ultimate resistance. If you're wrestling with addictive patterns, feeling trapped in mental loops, or want hard science fused with spiritual hope, this conversation will light a fire under you. This isn't motivation—it's neuroscience applied. It's the answer buried inside your skull. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

Inspired by one of Stephen Sondheim's core beliefs, Jen and Pete noodle on the idea that less is more, and how that might move them closer to clarity.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:Why might it be better to give two options to someone, as opposed to seven?Why is clarity so important?What is a "to don't" list?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

We share about what is happening in therapy with parts work.Edit note: Jules says the marble jar idea came from Brene Brown.  We have avoided that author and our therapist had not cited that.  So we did not know, apologies.Our website is HERE:  System Speak Podcast.You can submit an email to the podcast HERE.You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE.  Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any device just fine.  We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, movie groups, social events, and classes.  Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general.  Content descriptors are generally given in each episode.  Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse.  Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience.  Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity.  While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice.  Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you.  Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency.  This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

In a culture obsessed with self-discovery, the pursuit of "finding yourself" often leads to more confusion than clarity. Preston Morrison, Senior Pastor of Pillar Church and host of The Leader's Cut, challenges this narrative by exposing the misconceptions that keep us spiritually immature. He delves into how pride creates distance and separation, the pain inherent in midlife transitions, and the transformative power of embracing life's wilderness seasons. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

This week, Jen and Pete noodle on the idea of turning the tassle on habits that are ready to be let go.Specifically, in this episode Jen and Pete talk about:How might we think about the way our habits have served us?Why is it important to offer alternative to current habits we would like to let go of?How can we get more comfortable with the practice of examining and changing our habits?To hear all episodes and read full transcripts, visit The Long and The Short Of It website: https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/.You can subscribe to our Box O' Goodies here (https://thelongandtheshortpodcast.com/) and receive a weekly email full of book and podcast recommendations, quotes, videos, and other interesting things that Jen and Pete are noodling on. To get in touch, send an email to: hello@thelongandtheshortpodcast.com.Learn more about Pete's work here (https://humanperiscope.com/) and Jen's work here (https://jenwaldman.com/).

You've been taught that spiritual maturity looks like control. Stoicism. Discipline. Measured responses. But what if that's not maturity at all—just emotional suppression dressed in a Bible verse? This week on Win Today, Zach Meerkreebs, known for his role in the Asbury Outpouring, joins me to dismantle the cultural scorecard we've built around spiritual growth. We're talking about the false belief that spiritual people don't struggle. That leaders don't wrestle with anxiety. That if you're in pain, you're just not “surrendered” enough. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my NEW BOOK "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.

Message From Susan Hey everyone, it's Susan, and you're about to hear one of my training tips and tidbits. These are quick, actionable strategies to help you and your dog in everyday life or for dog sport. Often our short videos with tips are created from your most popular segments of podcast episodes. So, let's dive in!   Clarity Is Kind: What Your Dog Needs You to Understand Ever wonder if your dog really gets what you're asking them? I'm sharing why clarity is kind and what your dog needs you to understand to build trust and confidence, both in training and in life. Watch the full video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFpQ8i9YHUo