Screaming in Silence

Today marks a special day in my life with chronic pain, a milestone, an opportunity to look back over the past 10,000 days of my journey. Was it the event itself that shaped me to be who I am, or was it something else?https://onewingkiwi.com/

I may at times make this journey seem as easy as a walk in the park, but it is not without it's challenges. My philosophy doesn't make me immune to emotion, prevent me from wondering "what if...", but it has allowed me to fine tune the tools I need to keep me on track in life!

What does pain make you do? Does it make you angry? Sad? Resentful? Thankful? In today's episode I take a closer look at this subject and share my views on what power I feel pain has in my life.  You might be surprised. 

Frustration. At Life. At others. At ourselves. We've all felt it before, maybe struggled with it, maybe let it hold us back. All too often it's seen as an unwanted emotion. But we can change our perception of it to be something that drives us. In this episode I look at what role frustration has played in my journey and how it improved my life.https://onewingkiwi.com/ 

Balance is required everywhere in life, as Mr Miyagi said, " Whole life have a balance". Nowhere is this more important for me than managing chronic pain.https://onewingkiwi.com/

A lot of people, not just chronic pain patients, struggle to understand why I feel the way I do about life with constant pain and adversity. I've even faced criticism because of my beliefs. Normally I wouldn't address these, but a couple comments recently made me think that I need to explain why I do feel the way I do, in the hope that more people can view adversity from a different perspective.https://onewingkiwi.com/ 

As the reach of the podcast grows and my activity in pain groups increases I'm getting more requests on my coping strategies, so I decided to put them into one episode so anyone can get a quick overview of how I manage my chronic pain. There will be some old and new concepts here, so something for everyone who is interested.https://onewingkiwi.com/

How can I stay so calm and controlled despite living with chronic pain? How can it be that I can be going through pain that would knock most off of their feet yet you wouldn't tell by looking at me? The secret for me is in understanding the difference between hurt and harm.

Today I'm joined by a strong voice for self-management of chronic pain, Pete Moore from the UK. Pete has developed a process for anyone to use in dealing with persistent pain and attends numerous seminars on pain management internationally advocating his 12 step plan which he details for us towards the end of the episode. Join us to hear his story, how his pain journey started, the support groups he created, the story behind the pain toolkit, his work in Virtual Reality and even his own AI avatar where you can ask him questions online. Pete in turn interviewed me a few days ago and you can find that interview on my website in the Videos section.https://onewingkiwi.com/https://www.paintoolkit.org/

In this episode I combine the lessons Stoicism teaches us with the lessons I learnt for myself over the past nearly 27yrs. Having only recently discovering for myself this school of thought, I found the writings from such noted philosophers such as Zeno, Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius aligned perfectly with what I had taught myself. These have helped me navigate my way successfully through the adversity I have faced and I'm sure can help many others with the obstacles and hurdles life throws us all.https://onewingkiwi.com/

Anxiety, we all have experienced it. For some it's just a normal response to stress or unknown outcomes. For others it can be crippling, trapping them in perpetual worry. But what about the relationship between chronic pain and anxiety surrounding pain. As I found, and learnt to overcome, anxiety can make the pain we feel significantly worse.https://onewingkiwi.com/

On today's episode we are joined by Shaun, a 33yr old BPI survivor from England. Shaun had asked if I could do an episode on becoming a father with a Brachial Plexus injury, and I thought that not only was it a great topic to cover but as he himself was a father to two young boys he should come share his experiences!https://onewingkiwi.com/

On today's episode I'm very lucky to be joined by Dr Sue Jarquin, a pain management psychologist at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center in America. Sue brings a new perspective to the show, drawing on her years of study and experience interacting with chronic pain patients in helping them understand more about pain and self management.https://onewingkiwi.com/ Please check out the new Videos section on my website.

With the first year of the podcast having passed I thought it was an ideal opportunity to reflect on where this all started to where I am now. It's been an amazing journey, one that has helped many, including myself. So thanks to you all, and I look forward to seeing you all again in 2024.

We would all like a cure to our problems, be that chronic pain, disability or any other hurdle in life. But what if there is no cure? Do we dismiss anything that isn't a cure? Too often I've witnessed exactly this. But as I have found, when there isn't a cure it's far better to take any improvement in the quality of life that we can than to take nothing.https://onewingkiwi.com/

Wants. What do I want? What do you want? We all have them, they can drive us to better ourselves or the world we live in. But unrealistic or unobtainable wants can cause emotional and mental struggle, making us more vulnerable to pain. I found that by re-framing my wants I lifted a heavy burden from my shoulders.https://onewingkiwi.com/

How often have you found yourself facing a situation where it feels like you have no choice in the outcome, felt powerless. I found myself in that situation in 1997, facing a life with chronic pain and disability. But my story wasn't written yet, I could still decide the outcome. It was up to me turn the obstacle into opportunity. https://onewingkiwi.com/

Living with chronic pain is something that only around 25% of the worlds population understand properly. If you haven't lived it, there is no way you can understand. So in this episode I share some of the things people with chronic pain would like others to know about.https://onewingkiwi.com/

Often seen as a radical and controversial technique for dealing with chronic pain, I discovered the power of the mind through mindfulness very early on in my journey where other treatments had failed. It wasn't until I exhausted every option that I really began to focus on this technique, and the results are literally life changing for me. And I firmly believe it can offer the same results for almost anyone.https://onewingkiwi.com/

There's a silver lining to every cloud, and my journey has been no exception. There's been some lighthearted moments and unforeseen benefits. In this weeks episode we'll look at some of the pros and cons of my experiences with a brachial plexus avulsion injury. https://onewingkiwi.com/

 I first found out about Dan a number of years ago when looking for a sling to support my dead arm. I stumbled across a site where he advertised the slings he made and saw pictures of him competing in sports events and realised he too was someone who hadn't let his injury hold him back. Now thanks to an introduction from Geoff Tolge I get to interview the man behind the slings and so many other achievements. https://onewingkiwi.com/

In my journey I have met people that have misjudged me for my situation, who have incorrectly made assumptions. I have been inconvenienced by others behaviours. We all have experienced that. Even Marcus Aurelius wrote of his difficulty with this. So how can we handle these situations, without anger? 

Anticipatory fear, dreading what the future may bring, is a recognised condition. One that can 'paralyse' us. This fear is very often based on past experiences, suffering, hurt and pain. But the future is not yet written, the worst outcome is not guaranteed. There is just as much chance that the future could hold the greatest moments of your life.

Nothing to do with Ghost Busters or Scooby Doo, instead the ghosts of the past that a lot of us, especially those with chronic pain, chase. So often we get caught up in past events, we wish that things went differently, or that we could change outcomes. This episode focuses on the futility of doing so, and why we should embrace the present moment. 

All of us face dilemmas in life that are unavoidable or out of our control. How we react to these define our experience of them, whether they hold us back or spring us forward. While I shaped my perspective of my journey with chronic pain in a way that moved me forward, there are other battles in my life I let hold me back. Now with a better understanding of the control I do have I can start to put these to rest and move forward from them too. Onwards and upwards, in a figurative way!

Marcus Aurelius's Meditations has been described by many as exactly this, a comprehensive guide to life. Today we look into the three disciplines within Stoicism and discover just how powerful they are, and how they have played a critical role in my life, and how they can in yours too.

As a young child I thought to myself, the day I stop learning will be the day I die. Now nearly 26yrs into my journey with chronic pain a recent discovery has made that statement even more relevant. I thought I had learnt a lot the past years, and I have, but this journey is just beginning. And I can't wait!

This week we have Josh joining us on the show. Although he has only been on his journey for two and a half years he has already learnt so much in living with adversity and enjoying a fulfilling life. His attitude is exactly the type required when navigating difficulty and will give hope to those whose journey with chronic pain is still very new.

This week's guest Bob, aka 1ARMBOB, was one of the first people I met who had the same injury as me. It was through Bob's Facebook group "Brachial Plexus' that we connected, and where I would meet many others, both being able to learn and help. Join us as we hear 1ARMBOB's journey through adversity.https://onewingkiwi.com/

What shapes events in our lives? The events themselves? Or our perception of them? While life is not perfect and has hardship, struggle and loss, how we see these events determines the effect they will have on us.  Attempts to combat adversity through positive perception is sometimes pushed back on though, viewed as an attempt to diminish our plights, but I choose to see it as a way of lifting our spirits in the toughest of times. https://onewingkiwi.com/

Just how do you have full control over what happens in your life? With so much that seems out of our control that might seem impossible. But a change in perception is enough to give you all the power you need. This would be the most important realisation I ever had, one that would turn what most would view as a negative experience into the most positive. And it's something we all can do.

In the 2nd part of this 2 part episode we join Geoff once more as we discuss topics like pain vs suffering and his experience with what is seen as a controversial surgical operation to combat his pain and his decision to amputate his arm.

Today we have Geoff Tolge joining us from America. Geoff's journey began nearly 40 years ago and he has a wealth of experience in coping with pain and adversity, and has also some new experiences to share.

Today I welcome my first guest to the show. Peter has a very similar injury to me with 5 of his nerves ripped from his spinal cord. In this episode we learn about his journey and how chronic pain has changed his life.www.onewingkiwi.com

Pain can take many things from us, our freedom, independence, confidence, the list goes on. For me though, it's only time that has been taken. But it's the very act of that time being stolen that made led me to one of my greatest realisations.www.onewingkiwi.com

When I embarked on my journey 25yrs ago I didn't set out to do anything other than live the best life I could. I was 22yrs old with a life to live, and I was determined to do exactly that. I never once thought that the choices I made would prove to inspire people, but over the years I found that was exactly what happened. This week we look closely at how I came to better understand the power of my story.

Am I mad to get back on motorcycles? Most people would say without a doubt! But getting back on bikes was one of the most important aspects of my journey, one that would lift me to new heights, and along the way lift others too.

Welcome back. This week's episode covers the mask I wear, the tool I use to slip by unnoticed despite my pain. I discuss both the benefits and costs of this, and why ultimately it is something that serves me well.   

How can someone who has lived with continual pain and disability consider themselves to be so lucky, and not wish to wind back the hands of time? Find out why in this weeks episode.https://onewingkiwi.com/

In today's episode we take a look at how 25 years of pain has shaped me, and the changes I've had to make. Instead of being something to hold me back it instead has given me growth and understanding that I may have otherwise missed out on. https://www.patreon.com/ScreaminginSilence234https://onewingkiwi.com/

In this weeks episode we look into the changes I faced with one arm, adapting to a world designed with a fully able body in mind. The challenges, the lessons, and the funny times have all helped me to grow as an individual.https://onewingkiwi.com/http://patreon.com/ScreaminginSilence234

From medication through to psychological intervention and to surgery, I've been through it all. Today we'll go over treatments I've tried, the results and what I learnt.https://onewingkiwi.com/http://patreon.com/ScreaminginSilence234

From the burning, crushing, tearing and so many more sensations and how they affect my daily life, today's episode takes a closer look at my pain and its intensity.https://onewingkiwi.com/http://patreon.com/ScreaminginSilence234

In today's episode we begin at my journey's beginning, the day of my accident, the day that would change my life forever.https://onewingkiwi.com/http://patreon.com/ScreaminginSilence234