Seek and Destroy

In this episode Brett and Carson do a deep dive into what it's like to quit daily drinking as Carson chooses to do Sober October.  Recorded 21 days into Carson's first attempt at going a month without alcohol, the duo delve into discussions around the challenges of quitting drinking when alcohol is always readily available and most social events revolve around drinking, while exploring stats around alcohol use which leads to some startling discoveries.  The conversation then moves into discussing victim mentality and taking accountability for one's own life experience.

In this hard to listen to episode, Carson exposes what it's like to be in the midst of a CPTSD flashback without even knowing it. Heavily triggered by some recent events Carson and Brett discuss whether it is ever truly possible to trust others and feel secure while Carson struggles with jealousy and compulsive hypervigilance for threats.  Through this discussion Carson discovers that a lack of self-love is at the heart of his trust issues and that he is stuck in victim mentality. Be warned that this episode has some extremely negative self-talk and may be triggering for some listeners. 

Brett and Carson discuss the challenges of learning to be unapologetically authentic even when it means other people might not like you.  They then move into an exploration around a difficult process Carson went through during his Conscious Relationship Training program which leads into some conversation around the trickiness of the ego and how it holds on for dear life as we try to address the troublesome aspects of it.

Brett and Carson discuss the futility of trying to avoid healing as Carson continues to put himself on blast for his over-identification with being a good lover.  Then the tables are turned as they inquire into whether Brett has "landed" and if his anxiety meds are helping him bypass his opportunities for growth.

It's been four long years since Carson and Brett have really let it all hang out on the podcast. But that's about to change. In part one of this two part episode, Brett shares the story of the most difficult two years of his life, which concluded with the closing of his long-standing business, a divorce, and a new lease on life.

The idea of microdosing psychoactive substances has gained popularity in society and the media at a rapid pace. LSD, psilocybin, and other psychoactives taken in *very* small amounts on a consistent basis have so far shown very positive results in dealing with many of the challenges that modern life has to offer. With the first double-blind scientific studies currently underway, we'll soon have even more answers. But is really this the "magic pill" that humanity has been searching for? In this episode, Brett and Carson discuss the potential pros and cons of microdosing, as well as their own experiences with these substances on a micro and macro scale.

Silent meditation retreats can play an integral role on the spiritual path. Brett & Carson discuss their experiences at Adyashanti & AYP events, zen sesshins, and Carson's upcoming 10-day vipassana retreat. Benefits are discussed, as well as a story & life-changing experience from Brett's most recent retreat.

It's a trap! Carson shares the story of the "bait" used on him by a family member looking to get a reaction. Will he take it? Meanwhile, Brett's engagement reaches critical mass as he realizes just how much goes into planning a wedding, and the stress and arguments that go along with it. Will he make it? Other subjects include medical marijuana, Egyptology, the history of wedding traditions, and the psychoactive plant, Blue Lily. m/

On this very special episode, Carson and Brett welcome their friend (and first guest!) Jeff to join in the discussion on everyone's favorite subject, MONEY. Jeff, a former investment banker with Goldman Sachs, brings along a perspective on the subject leading to some very interesting dialogues on the mighty dollar. Subjects include materialism, the crossroads of ethics and business, the buddhist view of wealth, and more. Love it or hate it, we all need it, so stack your greenbacks and strap in for this episode of Seek and Destroy! m/

It's time to once again break out the gloves as Brett and Carson step back inside the ring for another debate filled episode of Seek and Destroy! Topics include an update on the perception of time, the idea of control, meditation and its effects, evolution, and a revisit to the role of spiritual practices. m/

Is that the sound of wedding bells, or the swearing in of a new mayor?  Brett's recent engagement leads to our hosts to a look at the "five stages of a relationship".  Meanwhile in Canada, Carson decides to run for mayor of his town, bringing the duo into a discussion on politics and the benefits of shopping locally.  Other topics include vegetarianism, Obamacare, a theory on the effects of alcohol/drugs, and dropping a deuce outside.  m/

The discussion on time continues this week as Carson gives an update on his new perspective, as well as scheduling out the next three months of his life to the minute. Other subjects include lucid dreams and ayahuasca.  m/

Does time exist? Carson's "House of Cards" analogy leads to one of the podcast's most intense inquiries to date, as he is tossed head first into a direct experience of awareness without form. This leads our hosts to an examination of time, in relation to suffering and beyond. Other topics include a look at the role of spiritual practices, and experiences of "the witness". m/

Why do we suffer? Our hosts try to find out this week as Carson's life begins to resemble The Book of Job, leading to a look at the story itself. Brett also recounts his experience in the isolation tank.  This week's episode continues via an extra download available through our website at www.SNDPODCAST.com. Topics on the extra include final thoughts on the isolation tank and a theory on energy awakenings. m/

“Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.” Venture down the rabbit hole with Carson and Brett this week as they dig into a grab bag of subjects leaving no stone unturned. Brett takes a look at the fear surrounding psychedelic experiences as he's gotten older, and Carson faces some major changes to his life with his job and the sudden loss of his dog.  Other subjects include sensory deprivation tanks, MMA, ketamine, neck nominations, politics, and the illusion of control. m/

We're turning this podcast up to 11! Carson catches someone stealing at his shop, and Brett is faced with inquiry taking him to places he doesn't necessarily want to go. The duo then look at Yogani's "Evolutionary Stages of Mind" which leads to a discussion on drug induced states and their relation to states found on the spiritual path. Other topics include sensory deprivation tanks and meditation experiences. m/

In this week's episode, Carson shares the story of his grandfather's passing, leading to an evaluation of his relationship with his father.  Brett recounts losing a feline friend, and describes the experience of the inner deconstruction currently taking place on his path. Other subjects include a look at blame. m/

Carson & Brett discover a parallel in their paths shifting focus from the internal to the external, and a look at stress leads to a theoretical heirarchy of emotions. Has the duo pinpointed the end of suffering?  Probably not, but they do revisit their experiments with Earthing.  All this, and the return of GENERIC INTROOOOOOooooo on this week's Seek and Destroy.

"Shut Up and Listen" finds Brett confronted with the fact that he is a bad listener.  Carson's time away from his family sheds new light on his priorities in life, leading to the duo looking at the role of a father from both sides of the equation. The first (and last) "Inquiry of the Week" is undertaken, and a look at the practice of bearing witness takes a turn for the weird. m/

Episode ten finds the guys discovering some changes to their reactions when faced with extreme external circumstances.  Carson shares another wild acupuncture experience, and Brett shares a story of a teaching brought upon by an unlikely candidate.  An inquiry into marijuana use quickly becomes an intervention of sorts as Carson is forced to look at the role it plays in his life.  Other topics include psychedelic studies and emotional integration. m/

It's a fight to the (ego) death as Carson and Brett square off in this steel cage match film review of the documentary "Kumare"!  Witness the carnage as heads are smashed into zabutons, bodies slammed into smoldering piles of nag champa, and the lotus leg lock leaves the ring stained in blood! Hold on tight folks, it's a battle for the ages on this week's Seek and Destroy!  m/

On this week’s episode Carson and Brett begin by discussing the Vice documentary “Drunken Glory.” This leads them into inquiry on the usefulness of ecstatic states while on the path.  From there the conversation weaves its way through topics on drug experiences, pop culture and balls.  Yes, balls.  You might want to skip that part. m/

"Strikes and Gutters" finds Carson and Brett speaking for the first time in a month, and with plenty of stories to tell.  Brett shares an experience of canines seemingly sent to clear his karma, and reunites with his father after a three-plus year hiatus. Carson takes a wild ride with the help of his new acupuncturist, and opens his new business from concept to customer ready in under a month.  All this, and GENERIC INTROOOOOOOOOO on this week's Seek and Destroy.  m/ 

This episode finds Brett & Carson discussing the healing potential of earthing, while Brett recaps his experience with The Presence Process. The duo wraps up the episode working through a visual theory of equinimity based on a sine wave. Other topics include visits from Jehovah's Witnesses and skateboarder Rodney Mullen. m/

In this episode, Carson's freshly broken arm opens up a discussion on working with pain, as well as a look at the psychoactive drug Ketamine. The pair continue to look at their family relationships as well as the idea of unconditional love.  Brett tells the story of integrating a powerful fear-based emotional charge, and the duo share their thoughts on the effect of the digital age on conscious evolution. m/

In this episode of Seek and Destroy, Brett bares it all with a story about being driven into emotionally reactive behavior and Carson and Brett use this opportunity to explore Michael Brown’s “ICU” process.  Our anti-heros also get into discussions around the stages of conscious evolution, Ken Wilber's Pre/Trans Fallacy and some Louis CK comedy. m/

This week’s episode takes a look at parenting from both sides, as Carson & Brett both discuss issues dealing with their own parents, leading to a discussion regarding Carson’s role as a parent to his own children. Further investigation into “The Presence Process” brings up an inquiry into the difference between reacting and responding. Brett accidentally hits his co-worker in the face with a ball of paper, Carson reflects on his time spent as a spiritual teacher, and a closer look is taken at “Westernized Yoga”. m/

On this episode, Brett and Carson inquire into the spiritual value of cocaine, and evaluate week two of “The Presence Process”. Carson gives an update on his inability to apologize, and Brett reaches out to his father after being on non-speaking terms for three years. Wrapping up the episode, an inquiry into their goals on the spiritual path brings the duo into unexpected territory. m/

The first episode of Seek and Destroy, “I’m Sorry”, finds Brett beginning Michael Brown’s “The Presence Process”, while Carson struggles with his inability to apologize.  Other topics include meditation experiences, mycology, Byron Katie’s “The Work”, grounding, and Carson’s background story. m/