What Do We Know? with Matt and Julia

DISCLAIMER: This episode brought to you by some bizarre vocal pitch-shift that we ultimately decided to keep (not because we don't know how to get rid of it). Gender, compulsive heterosexuality, and the word "queer"? Consider them all solved! Today is brought to you by a lot of conversation about our audio quality juxtaposed with countless technical difficulties. Julia's phat ass was censored by GarageBand's stake in Big Wasp.

Julia saw Eraserhead last night and won't shut up about it! She bombards Matt with a filmmaking Q & A where all of the Qs are also kind of As? Stick around for us Find Your Roots-ing Nicholas Cage (aka Nicholas Kim COPPOLA?!). Also Matt got a bike--tune in next week for more on this.

What's good? No, really...what is good? Matt and Julia wonder if nuance has jumped the shark in the classroom and beyond. There do, in fact, be essays. Unfortunately a lot of them are written by TERFs and/or Carrie Battan.

Can you believe we're on a two week recording streak? Some might call it a Pride Month miracle, sponsored by WGBH, the slew of cancelled NBC dramas, and viewers like you. Julia still has a cast but we're not talking about it, and Matt knows the date of his art show, which are both huge updates from last week. Join us in unbridling the capitalist constraints of the modern television programme and modern life from our deceased brain cell, may she rest.

Hello fellas, femmes, and fluids we are BACK and we are NO BETTER than we were before. In the wake of both hard-won triumphs and harrowing pitfalls, Matt and Julia have decided to answer the call of our adoring fan(s) and actually record an episode for once. With takes that make Julia lament "nobody discourses with me anymore," and Matt encouraging Julia that she is Employee Of The Month, you can expect all of your cultural baggage unpacked here in our 69th (lol) episode.

Matt is wearing his Miranda July shirt and Julia's brain is "warm." We take you back to this podcast's rambling origins as Julia poorly describes the plot to "Portrait of a Lady on Fire" and Matt straight-up spoils a different French film. Space heater? On. Discounted Valentine's Day chocolate? Bagged. Brain? Cell.

We finally set the record straight on the great debate of soil vs. dirt while meandering along tangents about our crafty childhoods, Julia's workshop (that she isn't taking personally!), and teens dropping sad boi hits while covertly promoting their colon-heavy Disney+ original series. Long live Harry Styles!

Two weeks have passed, and Matt and Julia know...less? This dynamic comedy duo determines that they only have the qualifications to teach a course on rocks if it's given a deranged liberal arts humanities twist. There's a new corporate WDWK? floating through the ether, and we herby declare war. We're (officially) back and in fabulous form!

Reunited and if feels so...fine? Everyone is okay! The world is great and we set our eyes on futurity and the (false?) promise of progeny. Julia reveals her big five-year plan which is *drumroll* to live! Matt, on the record, calls children a financial burden. We're coming in to 2021 hotter than ever and ready to be cancelled when we finally blow up!

Keeping you on your toes by recording on our "normal" day (sorry, McKenna)! This episode is heavy on the truth, but we don't neglect to hit you with some facts. If COVID doesn't wipe out the population by the time Matt is done "traveling," we'll see you then!

Google search for "Kim Cattrall jazz" right now!!

Without further ado, the big announcement everyone has been waiting for: WDWK finally endorses the Biden/Harris 2020 ticket! Julia's train of thought slowly tips off the rails as we pose unanswerable questions including, but not limited to, "how does change happen?" In the meantime, all we can do is beg for the JD Power Awards to be televised. PS: DO THE READING!

After a false start, we jump straight into the nonsense with lines like "THE POPE CAR RIDES IN A POPE CAR." Join our campaign to have the JD Power & Associates Awards televised! And no one steal our idea for a pop up microbrewery in a cemetery!!

Listen as Matt loudly fiddles with his mic stand to create a soft ASMR backdrop for this angst-ridden episode. From Julia's spot-on Elizabeth Warren impression to our inability to have even the slightest idea of what "Emily in Paris" is about, this week we cover it all! Hey, McKenna: Join our Discord !!

Matt hits the ground running by prompting Julia into a spiraling tangent within the first thirty seconds of this pod. We somehow get from cereal to corn by way of corrective lenses and old timey lesbian aesthetics. Ride this roller coaster all the way to the end to hear our takes on ethical drug use and the white washing of many culturally significant psychoactive substances!

In case you forgot Julia was gay, she reminds you on more than several occasions this week! After emerging from our respective chrysalises, our one braincell attempts to solve the problem of the American sex ed system (as well as the entire judiciary branch, as a coda). Keep your ears peeled for the ghost !!

Julia and Matt once again gaze (gays?) into their enchanted podcast mirror to marvel at their shared brain cell. Fresh off of hate-watching "The Social Dilemma" this dynamic duo has a lot to say about argumentation and the use of narrative filmmaking in the documentary format. More importantly, is that the guy from "Booksmart"? He's really fallen off.

Did someone say discourse?! Matt and Julia flex their liberal arts muscles in a feat of interdisciplinary body building. If you've wanted to hear us move from politics to politics of binge drinking to binging on media, then this is the episode for you! Worth the wait!

Welcome back to the ~haunted~ podcast! The reemergence of the ghost somehow manages to trigger neither our respective fight, flight, nor freeze responses. Follow along as Matt recounts the Katy Perry v. convent feud and Julia chaotically drops that she, against all odds, has a boyfriend (!!).

Back at it with some hot fire fact checking, these two idiots don't know anything and can't stop talking about it. Matt "innovates" the "form" by refusing to hold his microphone how anyone would ever imagine holding a microphone and Julia remembers playing elite competitive tennis while dressed like a hooker in high school. Drop your middle school gym class songs in the chat!

This week is a little different, but nobody tells us where to stand! In this malarkey-free ep, we (Julia) dive headfirst into the MA senate primary taking place with Joe Kennedy III inexplicably challenging lifelong progressive Ed Markey. After shouting about the DNC for a bit, this podcast shells out its first-ever endorsement for the Green New Daddy himself!

Matt sighs existentially throughout this discourse laden episode of "What Do We Know?" What begins as an account of our dreams ultimately becomes an expression of our dream to pitch concepts for car commercials.

This week we unpack out baggage about both wheeled transportation and Taylor Swift. Spoiler alert: they're both queer...or are they? We go on to solve gender, the Civil War, and the art versus artist debate. Follow along with our special edition "What Do We Know? Bingo"!

Je suis prêt...everybody! We come out of the gates running on this episode, which may (apparently) be our last. Matt confessions his dislike of snakes and we invent a new game that will make you "fun" at "parties" if we ever get to have those again. From porn to politics, from new cover art to fun merch ideas, from Joe to McKenna, this podcast has it all!

This episode has everything: Sofia meows at the door while Julia talks herself down a liberal arts rabbit hole, Matt reveals he's begun the herculean task of cataloguing every film he's ever seen over the course of his indiscernible amount of time spent on this planet, and we slowly lose all language faculty in this God-forsaken humidity.

Welcome back...to the PODCAST everybody! We are back and, for the first time ever, we are outside. Join us as we dust off the afterimages of our sparkling podcast of yore and attempt to think of any single thing that has happened in our lives recently. Follow along as we construct a trail of barely related topics such as: Lana del Rey, top-half women, and a whole lot vocal fry.

"How do you form a word?!" exclaimed Matt, as we attempt to draft this episode's description. We're still in the thick of it here, folx! The historians will look to this podcast as they chronicle the inspiring and harrowing details of Podcasts in the Time of Corona. "I've done worse work," he concludes.

High off of their social distance trivia night win, Matt and Julia try to talk about anything other than pandemic pandemonium. Ever wondered the difference between an orgy and group sex? Look no further than this dynamic duo's delightful discourse as they untangle this semantic chaos via extraterrestrial analogies. This episode is dedicated to our biggest fan and favorite soon-to-be ex-ex-pat, McKenna!

Live from the [REDACTED] quarantine, Matt and Julia employ their remaining brain cell to explore such glamorous topics as foot hygiene, contaminated wine, and the etymology of "sandwich." Julia runs us through her forthcoming, exhaustive, and definitive list of the best films (in no particular order).

As we've been safely quarantined in Julia's apartment with a sufficient stash of brownies, COVID-19 has yet to infect the pod (no relation to Love Is Blind). Julia is just straight up mad at everyone and Matt is characteristically impassive (submissive?). Join us as we unpack the difference between words that we don't fully understand and openly start a beef (dialogue?) with every New York-based journalism outlet.

[Insert "Old Saying" here.] Julia acts as an unreliable narrator of her own consciousness and steers this un-lucid train of an episode right onto the tracks of chaos. Meanwhile, Matt literally and figuratively spills the tea (on himself) while confronting special guest and friend of the pod Iris on her entire personality. Listen to this while falling asleep for full surrealism effect.

In the aftermath of a botched attempt at crafting what could arguably been ravioli (see: Ep. 41), Matt and Julia are truly On One™. Matt reveals his struggles with sleep apnea/coming across as having a cold personality while Julia over explains her desire to return to Amsterdam/enjoy a single concert.

In this haunted rendition of your favorite podcast, Julia goes on several DayQuil fueled tangents before becoming fully possessed by what we can only assume is the ghost of Eminem's Oscar's performance, or something more benign (like the devil). Listen as we spiral down the staircase of self into abject existential panic!

Give our good friend Katie a warm welcome to the pod! She joins us to break down the pizza spectrum, furry culture, middle school sex education, and a perplexing would-you-rather for womankind. McKenna, hello! Julia's mom, skip this episode for your own good!

As grief strikes the nation, Matt and Julia question the authenticity of social media mourning. This week, we remember celebrities we've lost and how inconsistent our reactions have been. If you didn't watch the Grammy's, neither did Matt and Julia attempts to catch him up on Billie Eilish's domination in the last two minutes. Also, listen to Julia ardently dismantle a theory about Jumanji that, in retrospect, Matt has completely fabricated. If we failed to slander anyone that you love, we'll be sure to do it next week pending a Venmo in any amount or currency to Julia.

Welcome back to karaoke hour! This week, Matt and Julia both find and don't find God™, respectively. Matt convinces Julia that waiting for the #1 bus is a religious experience and Julia neither agrees nor disagrees. We evaluate the successes and failures of our orthodontic traumas and call on McKenna to bring us to linguistic enlightenment when we reach those pesky "what's-the-word-for" moments. Another week of absolute chaos, buckle up!

Welcome back to our cool, hip culture podcast where everything is fine and we're doing great! You can call Julia by her name (Hozier) because somebody took her to church. Want to see how a discussion can possibly pivot from Buddhism's Four Noble Truths to a sincere debate on if we think dogs can speak English in less than three minutes? Look no further than this RIDE of an episode. We're bringing back all of our greatest hits from "not-a-sponsor-but-could-be" to manifesting with booze. Join us and McKenna for another week of absolute chaos!

Welcome to the new decade! Hindsight might be 20/20, but our vision for this podcast is exactly the same. Do we bring up our grievances with the film industry? Yeah. Does Julia add to her billowing ironic hat collection? You bet. Are we bringing good vibes into the new year? No doubt about it. Listen as Julia sheds critical surveillance information about her place of work and Matt admits to scamming the MBTA. All in one episode, you ask? We answer: abso-fucking-lutely.

On this chilly evening we float pretty cavalier use of the words "deign" and "aural" before pitching our favorite words as "trapeze" and "juxtaposition." Julia reveals that she's never had a hickey before and all but begs Matt to come to Boston to celebrate New Year's Eve. Listen as we define our personalities as if we had guns placed to our heads, respectively!

An EARLY upload?! Amidst co-living chaos, we reveal how loose our grasp of the economy is, Julia tries (and...fails?) to re-articulate the same idea in unique sentences every time she has a hot take, and Matt comes to terms with his similarities with the Cabbage Guy from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Numbers aren't real, Mila Kunis is in everything, and Marshal Mathers is not Martin Luther. (Also, hi McKenna.)

The first rule of book club is finish all of your half-read books before 2020. This episode, Matt stands on an Elizabeth Debicki-sized soapbox (tall!) and we examine the loose use of the word New Zealand in Julia's Spotify Wrapped. In an abstract approach to "queering" the "senses," we talk about words--what are they good for?! Thanking our listeners! Especially McKenna--you're our favorite, but don't tell anyone. Matt on what you've just read: "I thrive on this kind of descriptive chaos."

This week we only manage to hit 2/3 of our regular topics (sexuality, language, and Brazil)--but we do attempt to solve the famous Supreme Court case of Nature v. Nurture. Matt reassures Julia that her self-destructive tendencies are truly insane even while Julia allows Matt to absolutely obliterate the optics of this podcast by committing several micro-aggressions throughout the episode. (We know, we're sorry.)

In a particularly structureless episode, Matt and Julia recount the entire plot of 'Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole.' From road trips to taco dip, we silently wolf down half of an ice cream cake for nearly an hour and a half of non-stop content!

Superfan of the pod, Bella, ruins our famously seamless intro but quickly redeems herself by providing non-stop quality content. We talk about flight mishaps, fever dreams, our names in alternate universes--so the entire premise of the Masked Singer. It's frickin' Bjork! Show some respect, Nick Cannon!

We got new mics and apparently an Executive Producer? Listen to this spooky chaos in crisp high-quality audio! Keira and Julia show their true fire sign colors by fighting to be the center of attention for the duration of the podcast.

We did it folx--an on-time upload! This week, Julia manages to shoehorn in how popular she was in high school while Matt remembers his ultra-masc Halloween costumes. Will we show up as Hego and Shego to a party this weekend? Matt reflects as we write this, "I feel like they were both pretty gay."

Dear McKenna, We apologize that this episode is coming a day late. We hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive us, especially since you've been flexing your dope travels on the 'gram. But sometimes? We're busy. This episode is more chaotic than usual as Matt got a mere 4 hours of sleep and Julia had 4 Red Bulls today. We hit our TWO constant in this week's chat: linguistics, queer theory, and Brazil. Much love, The Pod Squad

We're back! This week, Matt is in New York for a concert and Julia is at home drinking Emergen-C mixed with cherry gin. Enjoy this time-traveling episode that was recorded after some microphone troubleshooting last week (we are so sorry for that shitty audio). Will this rendition of Julia in the throws of a ridiculous break-up be petty enough for our biggest fan, McKenna? Only time will tell!

The beginning of an exciting two-part podcast journey! Next week, Matt is on the road to see a concert that he bought tickets to by accident and to push the limits of his stress fracture by running a half-marathon. We harken back to our youths wherein we engaged with the technology, partially through retrospectively traumatic means. Consider the DMs officially open!

Have you ever heard mics this good? You have? Better ones?! Well, damnit, we've increased our microphone stock by a full 100%! Listen to our crystal clear dialogue as we chat about blurry vision, Julia's entire childhood medical history, Matt's case for being the ideal genetic package (get used to it), and more!

After a quick notes-app apology for missing last week's episode since we spent no less than four hours engaging with the AYTO finale, we jump right into the classic fact-checking that you've come to know and love. This episode is truly a journey through our childhood engagement with the many forces of capitalism. We also somehow don't even mention the stuffed dinosaur on the couch or that Matt is incorrectly wearing a purple ("it's more like a magenta") mermaid blanket as single-sleeved scarf ("it's kind of like a one-sleeved ditty situation").