Crappy Friends

One last letter, and, appropriately, on a topic the Ladies have yet to cover. As we ride off into the sunset, we want to say a heartfelt thanks to all who've listened, written and shared their embarrassing personal problems. It's been a blast.

You've been friends for ages, but sometimes, you're not invited to things. Other times you are. But why aren't you on the inner circle? Are they mean girls, or are you just being a drama queen? The Ladies discuss in their second-to-last episode. 

You adore her…it's her new love you can't stand. Do you say something? How do you suffer through evenings with him? As we wind down the podcast, the Ladies are joined by the Princess!

You're just getting settled into your adult life: marriage, family, career. The problem is, your bestie is flailing. She hates her job, her relationship, doesn't know what she wants and complains about the same things over and over. But you love her, you've had so many good times, and you don't want to lose her. It's just that your lives are so different now. The Ladies weigh in, plus an epic Embarrassing Personal Problem as we enter into the last few episodes of our podcast.

She's been your best friend for years now…but she seems to have all the answers to life's deepest questions. Your life's deepest questions, that is. When you don't take her advice, she tells you you're wrong. Time to cut the cord, or is it worth trying one more time?

She's been a great friend until she says a few things about your family. Your kids. Your marriage. How do you handle this? Are friends allowed to judge each other, and if so, when? Kristan shares her latest humiliation in hot yoga, and Joss laughs at her. Again.

Your mediocre friend sent your husband a message. Do you A) get your broadsword and drive to her house; B) email everyone she works with and tell them she's after your man; or C) take a good look at what's really behind this rage? The Ladies discuss…and have an announcement. 

You're invited out. You politely decline, and suddenly, you're a horrible person. Our first letter discusses what to do with the frustration that comes from…well…other people being jerks. But the second is from a thoughtful friend, wondering how to stop her close, loving pal from always offering a solution that's worked for someone else. Plus, Joss's foray with a personal trainer and the shocking amount of sweat she can produce.

Oh, the difficulty of teenage friendship! As a parent, how much do you intervene when a mean girl comes after your kid? Do you talk to her parents? Was…horrors…your kid actually the mean kid? The Ladies discuss!

She's been your best, best friend since you were ten years old, and now she's getting married. And you're not her maid of honor. Is bridesmaid good enough? Why is she nicer to other friends? Are you the doormat, or are you maybe a little too needy? The Ladies discuss how different perspectives on childhood friendships can change everything.

She was the only one who stood by you during a tough time…and then her life went into the toilet. You're her emergency contact, she's got one disaster after another, now she's in the ICU (or not) and she's a THERAPIST, too. How the Ladies love a beautifully formatted novel!

Two letters ask if they've done the right thing the right way when a friendship goes stale. Dogs vs. cats, plus Joss's epic, never-to-be-topped embarrassing personal problem.

Is it possible to be friends with a sister who's always in some kind of crisis? You grew up together, you love each other, but damn it, you're tired of the latest installment in the soap opera. But what about the family at large? They want everyone to get along. The Ladies discuss at length, and Joss, no longer a model of grace and elegance, shares her Embarrassing Personal Problem.

The Ladies tackle three letters about three very interesting and different topics and bask in the glow of listener compliments.

Your friend group is well-heeled, and you've participated in some events. But now the financial strain of hanging out with this crowd is starting to show. Can a balance be found? Are these true friends, or just a gang of lobster-eating, champagne-drinking people you know? 

You're great and wonderful friends with a guy (yeah, we know, we know). You make each other funnier and smarter. Then tragedy strikes…and he backs off. Even worse for the friendship, you turn your tragedy into success, and he drops off the damn face of the earth. What the what? 

The Ladies are back from summer hiatus! This week, we discuss four short letters on dealing with friendship issues, encourage you to resend your letters if we haven't covered them yet, and why O'Hare is the most exhausting airport in America (and possibly the best).

In this episode, we have two letters from women who are wondering if the time required to maintain the friendship (that is, appease the difficult "friend") is worth it. Based on the use of air quotes, you can imagine the Ladies' response. Plus, one of our Hall of Fame Embarrassing Personal Problems.

She's got a pattern, and yep, it came around to you. Then you dated/married one of her pals, and it seemed like she wanted to reestablish contact. Or not. Hubby in the middle, awkwardness abounds, a high school reunion is coming up! How best to handle the potential drama? The Ladies weigh in!

There's no drama mama like a theater drama mama! Two friends, their two daughters, auditions and vacations! Pettiness abounds, and you can't help feeling hurt that you're being let go. Is it because your daughters are competing for the same roles? Or was she always kind of cut-throat? The Ladies discuss and suggest ways to deal with friends in competition and still be super classy. 

Your friend was great…until she went through some health struggles and can't seem to focus on anything but negativity. Is there a way to adjust course? Plus, one of the best embarrassing personal problems ever!

Your friendship deteriorated, and you're over it…theoretically. But you still run into her, and when you do, she takes up way too much mental space. The Ladies discuss how to break this rumination habit and share their own experiences with the same issues.

It can be a dawning realization…this friend of yours with whom you've shared plenty of good times isn't mentally well. First comes the quirkiness, or the hurt feelings, or the ghosting. Strange requests, asks for more help than you're qualified to give. How do you help a friend in this situation? Should you try? The Ladies discuss, have a rare disagreement and talk about what our roles are when someone is in crisis.

You've been friends for a long time with this life-of-the-party pal, but for the past few years, she's gotten clingier, weirder and more demanding. And now she's preggers. What's your role in this friendship? 

Two letters this episode with a common theme…the letter writer is the piece that doesn't fit. What can one do? Should one even try? The Ladies discuss over a glass of sauvignon blanc.

You've been friends for decades, and you've watched, time and time again, as she shoots herself in the foot with bad choices. Men, money, tattoos…and she vents about these choices to you, but never takes your advice. Honey, the Ladies have been there! Also, another letter writer talks about her quiet life without a superclose girlfriend and how she's pretty dang happy anyway.

You were young. She liked him, he liked you, you liked him, she said sure, go for it and ick. Now you are in a hot mess, mature enough to own how skanky you were, wondering if you can salvage a friendship with a truly good person, despite the past. The Ladies have MUCH to say, and the Princess weighs in with her preternatural wisdom.

It's that time of life when your mom needs more of a social life than she has. Otherwise, it's you on the phone with her sixteen times a day. The Ladies offer suggestions for both parties. 

She's in your friend group…and she goes out of her way to make you feel dumb, invisible or unwelcome. What does a woman do? Outclass her! The Ladies lay out a plan to make you look great and her look exactly how she is: abrasive. 

You were colleagues. Then you got a promotion, she left the company, but it still seemed like you were friends…except she's undermining you from afar. You make some good decisions but still somehow manage to get ground under her heel. The Ladies weigh in, and Kristan changes her mind.

We've all had that friend who needs so much…and it's exhausting. Are you stuck with her for life? Nope! The Ladies give specific instructions on what boundaries are and how to enforce them. 

Work friend getting a little clingy? Not in this case. The Ladies urge our letter writer to call in the big guns and get this dealt with. Also, a letter complaining about texting in friendships and how misleading that can be. Joss discusses intestinal issues and shares a wonderful story about the same.

She was a crappy friend, and you dumped…but you can't stop thinking about her, and it's driving you crazy. She's taking up way too much of your mental energy, even now. The Ladies discuss techniques on cleaning out your head after a break-up.

You know she'll pitch a fit when she finds out she's not in the wedding party, and you're not happy about it. Hurting someone's feelings goes against the grain, but MAN, you have good reason not to include her. Once again, Kristan's daughter joins in for the Gen Zennial perspective and shares her own embarrassing personal problem.

A juicy letter about a birthday weekend gone wrong in so many ways! The Ladies get all fired up with our special guest, Kristan's daughter, aka the Princess, who provides the youth (ish) perspective. Salty language is tossed around, plus advice on dealing with passive aggressive behavior.

The Ladies lie in this podcast, telling you there are two letters when there are only one. Nevertheless, we discuss what you can reasonably expect in a friendship, when trying to be helpful can backfire and being able to trust that you're enough just the way you are. 

She was your friend and colleague, and you did your best to look the other way at her occasional petty behavior…until she outright stole from you. You're gutted and furious and bereft. The Ladies understand.

You've been frenemies for years, connected by family, location and mutual friends. But whatever you like, she likes more. Whatever you do, she learns to do better. You get a black cat, she gets a black cat. Is there any way to stop her from imitating your life, or at least, any way to stop being infuriated by her copycat ways?

You make a friend. She had a baby. You get preggers. She tells you exactly what to do, see, think, feel…and some of her ideas are whack. She tortures you with her bizarre theories and cult-like devotion to the friend du jour. Nevertheless, you find yourself…missing her.

The Ladies read two letters this week in a burst of enthusiasm and energy! When you've been ghosted by a friend without explanation, is it okay to ask around to get an answer? Also, what happens when you deeply love a friend, but she's become…boring?

You're having a baby, and you don't want to become that mom who complains about…well, everything…to your childless by choice pals. How do you make sure you're still a good friend? Or maybe you've moved back to your partner's hometown, but all the ladies are friends already, and you feel left out. The Ladies have lots to say!

She acts like you're best friends, but you've never given her any reason to think that, aside from basic common courtesy. You can't ghost her completely, because you work for the same company. How can you get the message through without being downright mean? Also, Kristan shares about a surprise package one of her readers received. 

You were all friends, more or less, but now the other two are freezing you out. Was it something you said? Did? How can you live peacefully after being told they're just not that into you? In our second letter, the Ladies discuss a work friendship gone wrong, cliques and expectations.

You've been there for her through thick and thin, cheered for her, celebrated her…and when you need a little of that from her, there's…nothing. In this eloquent missive, our letter writer details a friendship that's kinda sorta weird, especially when it comes to her pal's husband…who was once in love with her. Oy! The drama!

You've had a best friend for almost your entire life, and she's been stellar. But tragically, she dies, and you and her sister bond in your shared grief. Then Sis lets something slip that throws you so off course you're utterly crushed and confused. The Ladies have a LOT to say on this letter, and not to worry, listeners. It's all positive.

Another "why did I spend so much time with this person?" letter, plus the reasons  we latch onto people, even when it's clear they're not good for us. The Ladies discuss the pressures and ideals that make women think they MUST have a BFF, and what can be wrong with this picture.

A complicated letter about a shy woman who finally makes a best friend, only to have her partner become more and more uncomfortable with the friendship. The Ladies discuss what seems to them to be a good friend and a potentially dangerous romantic relationship. TW: Isolating behavior bordering on abuse

Theoretically, we WANT to be that person who's like a cool auntie to our friend's kid. In reality…well. If you're wondering how to get out of that kindergarten graduation party of baby shower you just don't want to attend, listen up. The Ladies also discuss their casual style tips (pockets) and hints for avoiding unwanted guests (crawling).

Your best friend is getting married, and you're her maid of honor! It's lovely…but here's the thing. You recently started dating someone she once dated way back in high school, and now you're getting some weird vibes from the bride-to-be. How do you handle this without damaging a very precious friendship? The Ladies are confident it will all be well in the end (and if we're wrong, we definitely want to hear that story, too).

In which there is much cackling from the Ladies as they read an epic letter from a woman who can't seem to find a friend without some serious baggage, including but not limited to conspiracy theories and aliens. Why does she attract this type of pal? How can she pay more attention to the red flags earlier? And, more importantly, how can she find friends who are more balanced? Or does she really want that at all? The Ladies discuss, Joss is tipsy and suggestions are meted out nevertheless.

Oh, the many juicy problems with "Grace," not her real name! She's competitive, judgey, holier-than-thou…and the thing is, you adore her grown daughter, and vice versa! Can you sidestep the mom and just be friends with the now-adult girl you watched grow up? The Ladies think yes…but tread carefully.