Dumb Devil's Advocate

Dave and Sean reunite after 5 months to discuss some incredibly dumb things. Dave's fatherhood, Sean's refusal to participate in a democracy by choosing Trump or Hillary, Larry the Cable Guy, redneck love and rednack hate, and much, much more! Forgive the different sound, we recorded this in a new secret location outside of the studio! (Dave's house) 

Dave and Sean debut the promo for a new podcast that is sweeping the nation called "Cereal", before launching into a fabulous episode of their own show. The dynamic duo of dumbness rip Star Wars a new one before launching into a lengthy sexual role play between Arnold Shwarzeneggar and his Honduran maid. Also discussed are bumper stickers, which the guys do eventually find common ground on. Also featured is a new "decisions" themesong, Dave eating celery, and Sean talks about dolphin penises. Enjoy, it's one hell of a weird show!

Important news: Dave and Sean just met U2's very own Bono, and tell us all about it. Later, the two begin to discuss the topic of taxidermy, but that quickly goes out the window when Dave reveals that he recently saw a "little pinky nail micropenis" at the Korean Nude Spa he frequents with his mule dong. Sean recounts the time he peed next to Jeffery Tambor, and how he is kept up at night wishing he had peeked at it. Also included: a polar bear checks coats, Adam Sandler gets taken to task, and a special appearance by 2 of SoCals favorite morning DJs! If you like taxidermy and dicks, this episode is for you! 

In another triumph of idiocy, Dave and Sean take on the subject of puppets. Among the topics discussed: Kermit the Frog's Hollywood Bad-Boy behavior on set, Bill Cosby's $35,000 sex puppet, the unbearable low art of ventriloquism, and the place that puppetry has in the modern world (hint: a bum in Prague). Plus: Dave endorses a brand of underwear! 

Sean's recent attempts to be positive by arguing "for" topics comes to an abrupt end when he is is assigned the task of arguing for the Confederate Flag, which pisses him off. Dave's high school gym teacher Mr. Thompson makes a special Christmas appearance to tell the kids to pull their pants up, the guys break down why Spain's habit of giving away free squid and taking naps all day may contribute to their economic troubles. In a special report from his homestead in South Central, Dave discusses catching a local cat shitting in his vegetable garden.

Dave and Sean discuss perhaps their most inane topic yet- trophies. Dave argues that too many people get them, and Sean wonders what it's like to have a vapid trophy wife. Sean spends some time complaining about an omelet that looked like cum (he ate it anyways), and then the duo then team up to pick on nerds who have money. The guys sympathize with being a porsche driving misogynist douche who has a 28 year old wife, and then wonder what it would be to retrieve an engagement ring from your fat wife's poop. It's a great show, give it a listen!

Tattoos: it's time to talk about them... briefly. Dave and Sean discuss the ancient art of ink, and then delve into discussing the plot lines of Fantasy Island, the word midget, wild animals and their place in the world, and much more pointless conversation. Also, a special appearance by ex-military P.E. teacher Mr. Thompson, who gives a slightly offensive lesson in taking care of yourself and having a good attitude. Have you ever seen a Metallica tattoo on a pig? Then this episode is for you!

This week's episode discusses the drinking age of 21. Famed teenage drinker Sean must argue against the drinking age limit, and Dave must argue for it, despite himself being a lover of both teens and drinking to excess. Stay tuned for a bonus song about crack selling and the middle eastern sex trade by D-Merk and Sean the Baptist aka B-Originale!

Dave and Sean discuss their recent adventures in parenthood, pooping after a spicy meal, home improvement projects, halloween costumes, and travel. After catching up on some of that, the topic of the episode is pulled - "Good Samaratins", something that the two hosts have very little experience with. Dave describes the time he pestered an old woman on the street by insisting she was having a coronary when she was in fact fine, and Sean recounts a recent event in which he reluctantly guided a geriatric into a parking spot. In closing, the guys discuss the ultimate act of good will- adoption- and reveal their true character when they both admit they are incapable of such an act. Give it a listen, and be a good Samaratin and tell your dad to listen too!

Dave and Sean begin the show by discussing their recent camping trips- Dave forced his pregnant wife to sleep outside in a tropical storm being attacked by germ carrying mosquitos, and Sean encountered a cowardly black bear in the mountains. The topic pulled is S & M, which leads to a long talk about gimp suits, domination, being sodomized, leather, 50 Shades of Grey, and the life of homeless islanders. Give it a listen and don't forget your safety word - "banana bread"!

Dave and Sean nurse major hangovers from the night before when they partied hard, and the topic pulled from the envelope is "fast food", which leads to a long conversation about Starbucks straws, headless chickens, obese children, and of course Donald Trump. Dave recalls his boyhood dream of smoking cigarettes and playing pool after watching Pinnochio, and Sean decides to change his name to MC Gepetto-phile. Give it a listen and tell your teacher all about it! 

Today's topic is magic, familiar to us all as the art of producing a starved animal from an article of clothing when least expected. After discussing magicians and their general lack of interest in everything about magic, the hosts move on to discussing lion hunting, believing in actual magic, and much much more. Also, Dave announces he is going to be a dad, and Sean takes a walk down memory lane as he reflects on being a boy grifter.

We have officially reached the final topic in the first official Dumb Devil's Advocate topic Envelope. Now it is time to move on to a new one, but who will create it? The show starts off with a couple of friendly Inuits in a segment called "snowcast", but then moves on to discuss envelopes in general, the things they can and can't hold, and who is the scariest of horror movie villains. Later, Sean suggests a unique way to celebrate the Unabomber's legacy. 

This episode's topic is The MPAA - The Motion Picture Association of America. BOORRIING! After talking about how cool Rated R movies used to be, the boys discuss Heath Ledger spitting on Jake Gyllenhaal's rectum in a tent, whether Requiem for a Dream is a good choice to show your kids, and launch into a topical roundtable/one sided rant from Sean about Bruce Jenner and his very public decision to turn into an old woman.

An evil corporation that operates a shadow army of mindless battle drones... and a great way to buy a blender. Amazon is today's topic pulled from the envelope, which leads to a long thought discussion on technology. Sean is excited to experience virtual reality as a wolf playing his role as part of a larger pack in Yellowstone, and Dave expresses a wish to visit another planet and experience virtual sex with an alien. Later, Dave reflects on his career decision and Sean admits Ted Kazcinsky was probably right about technology and we should all just go live in the woods.

As the podcast enters its temporary bi-weekly summer schedule, a chilly topic is pulled from the hat.... Canada. Did people come to Winnipeg because they thought they would win a pig? The guys discuss moose, crossing the border, Crown Royal, and many, many other things. 

Bikes... meh. Who loves them, who hates them, and really, who cares!?! The guys discuss a diesel biker named Wolf Leader, how to prevent child abduction, and the general world of bikes and cycling. As we enter the slow period of summer releases, this episode is sure to tantalize... for two weeks. Hopefully.

Oh, those glorious holes. Have you ever seen a penis pop out of a hole in a bathroom stall? Did you... did you suck it? If so, only a few paltry minutes of this podcast will be for you. The rest of it is about attending shitty schools, going to the principals office, amusing yourself at a bar mitzvah, pissing in drinking fountains, and much, much more. Plus, the guys announce a new release schedule for the podcast, and maybe even a new life style choice, although Dave has a hard time accepting it. Listen in, and don't forget to tell your dad, your friends, and your teacher!

Dave and Sean discuss the art of street performers. Are they bums? Are they artists? What does it feel like to be a Zonkey? Are horns fun or obnoxious? Hear a tale about a manipulative talking seal with ill intentions talking to a lonely child on a beach, and stick around after to hear about an effeminate urbanite dog that wears turtle necks and has a graphic design job. Dave and Sean also do an ignorant summation of female singer song writers in the 90s, and talk about how great it is to be grown ups, although they hardly are. All of this and so much more, give it a listen, and don't forget to tell your dad and your teacher to do it too! 

After recounting their respective Saturday nights out, hung over hosts Dave and Sean unveil yet another new topic themesong, and pull the topic "Bottle Service" from the envelope. Sean paints an eleborate scenario where he dresses up like a girl and lets men sodomize him to get free booze in the VIP, Dave delves into the minds of people who would spend $800 to drink a bottle of Vodka behind a velvet rope, and the hosts come up with a wild conspiracy theory regarding robot humans. Later, the lifestyles of Europeans are compared and contrasted with those of Americans, who are chiefly concerned with spousal bickering and KFC, while the Europeans are drinking mama's stew in the 200 year old family home. This episode is prreeee-tttty bizarre and funny, so sit back and enjoy!

Penis shaped whistles, day laborers stripping nude on an overturned bucket, your teenage son dancing for money, the name Keanu, money laundering, Asian people's innate superiority, and lots of cocaine. Does this sound interesting to you? If so, listen to this episode. Special guest Nancy joins Dave and Sean for a rabbit hole discussion about all of the above and much more in what constitutes some of the bluest, most offensive material this podcast has ever released.

Hot Air Balloons is the topic that is pulled from the hat and then hardly ever discussed again. Instead, Dave and Sean discuss polar bear attacks, teenagers jacking off on family trips, coprophagia, cats as the perfect pet for heroin addicts, helicopter rides, smoking almonds, sky diving, and much, much more. Plus, a new island themed topic themesong makes it's first appearance!

Dave and Sean meet once again to argue over an inane topic drawn from an envelope, and today's topic is "First Class Seats on Airplanes"- which is briefly discussed before the conversation meanders to Harrison Ford being an asshole, the time Martin Sheen recommended a piece of pizza to Sean, and what an "otter" means in the gay community. Sean discusses his theory of "the bigger the butt the more it poops", and Dave talks about how much he hates narration in movies. Tune in and listen, you will have never wasted a better hour listening to utter bullshit.

A very special episode featuring two guests, Dan and Glen, who join the show for a roundtable discussion on the topic pulled from the envelope - Civil War Reenactments. The group addresses all of the most pertinent questions surrounding the issue: were little drummer boys really just for pederasty? Do women enjoy pretending it's 1863? Special guest Glen posits the theory that reenactments are one of the few safe places for grown men to go enjoy "play", and hey- what's wrong with that? Sean wonders what it might be to like to be a drummer boy serial killer. Special guest Dan tells the tale of when Abraham Lincoln came to San Dimas, and Dave suggests he would rather reenact Vietnam because he once took a pleasant vacation there.  If you or somebody you love enjoys dressing up as Robert E. Lee and walking around the park on the weekend, this show is for you!

Not one but two new themesongs are introduced to the show for the 15th episode special. The guys start off the show by wondering what it's like to be a cat, and then they move on to pulling the listener submitted topic - "The WNBA". Dave has to argue against it, which doesn't seem to be a problem for him as he makes a case that being tea-bagged by another player's nutsack is the most important part of basketball, and is an important element missing from the women's league. Sean goes on to explain that he thinks he could handle being with Queen Latifah romantically, and the two hosts make some questionable remarks regarding menstraution and female sports leagues. All in all, this should probably be a no girl's allowed episode.

The Superfan Dan topic envelope is tapped once again, and the card pulled is "Fred Durst", whom Dave must argue in favor of, and Sean against. The talk meanders to Korn, Tinder dating,, and which Nu-Metal band Dave would like to spend 6 months on a boat with. Sean recalls his past, a time when every 11 year old girl was a wiccan and he wished he could get it on with Britney Spears.

Dave and Sean draw from a topic envelope submitted by Superfan Dan, and the card pulled is "The X-Games". After a brief talk about Subway's turkey sandwich, and recounting the Armenian Genocide rally, the discussion moves on to how embarrassing it must be to have Tony Hawk as a skateboarding dad, 40 year old men competing against 10 year olds in a half pipe, and ultimately decide on whether or not the X Games is a worthwhile endeavor.

The topic of today's discussion is "the circus", Sean must argue for it and Dave against it. The discussion quickly devolves into stories of elephant freak outs, life on the road as a clown, and the time Dave saw a "lobster boy" in Thailand.

Today's topic is "trains". Sean must argue for them, Dave must argue against them. Later, other modes of transportation are ranked. 

Today's topic is horses. Sean discusses watching one get a boner at the fair, and Dave recounts the time one took a dump next to him during the production of a television show. 

The topic of grocery bags is discussed, which leads into a meandering conversation about grocery store ettiquette, being famous, and Dave's ultimate dream to grow weed and live in Hawaii while not helping out others. 

A strange pull from the hat this time, Pinks Hot Dogs in Hollywood. After confessing that neither of them have been there, they discuss... well basically a lot of stuff other than Pinks Hot Dogs.

Dave and Sean discuss video games and how they affect us. They also introduce the idea for "Dadcast", a podcast where dads are interviewed about dad things. Later, they discuss their ideas for video games they would like to see made, including one where you can be a cat sleeping and one where you get to be Lewis and Clark taking a long walk across the country.

Dave and Sean discuss the idea of decriminalizing marijuana, and Sean must argue against it.

After being chosen to be "against the idea", Dave has to condemn the idea of teachning music in schools, and later Sean has to go after the Acadamy Awards.

Vegans and veganism is discussed, and known meat enthusiast Dave must advocate for a lifestyle he most certainly will never take as his own.

Today's topics are "If you are performing in Las Vegas, have you made it as an artist?" and "Is Domestic Abuse OK - yes or no?"

Today's topic is "Zoos - Good or Bad?". Sean does his best to argue against the institution of zoos, while Dave discusses the time he watched a polar bear stand up in real life at the Bronx Zoo, and it's profound effect upon his respect for animals.

Hosts Dave and Sean randomly pick topics from a hat and then are each assigned the task of arguing either for or against the topic. Today, Sean must take an aggressive stance against the quality of British TV, and later, Dave is forced by the rules of the game to attack the concept of allowing gays in the military.