EDUGAYTION 101

It's been a long time. Months. It's been months. Jaime and I are about to hit a year in our relationship and in this episode we share how we got to this point. We start with Jaime's weird tiktok stalking to devising a master plan and waiting out my absolutely ridiculous "Villain Era". Jaime was incredibly patient and really is a saint for sticking around. I had no intentions of being in a serious relationship and she just.... waited. It wasn't easy for her, even though she played it off like it was no big deal. And now here we are with a house and a kitten and a dog. Good things really do happen when you least expect them. Support the show

*The audio is not very high quality with this episode. I was in North Carolina at the tie of recording and did not have all of my equipment.*This was a conversation I had over zoom with Tommy from the BYU Conservatives instagram. We talk about Abigail Shrier's book, Irreversible Damage. It's a bit of a long episode, so buckle up. We talk transgenderism, mental health, identity and a handful of other things. I know these are incredibly sensitive topics. While it is never my intention to do harm, I do think that there are things happening with LGBTQ Youth that require questioning. I am also very aware that questioning any aspect of the transgender movement is immediately labeled transphobic. I hope that my adult followers who are trans or non-binary or gender non-conforming can understand that I am not questioning their transition or identity. That being said, I do question the motives of trans activists, allies, parents and medical professionals who are pushing young children toward social and medical transition, and I feel there are valid reasons to be questioning those motives.Support the show

It's a short episode today. Just a quick reminder that not everything you see online is real. People can curate their social platforms to make their lives seem perfect. Take a break. Go offline for a minute and go outside. It'll do wonders for your mental health. I hope you make time for yourself this week. Love you guys. Support the show

Themes: Abuse, self-harm, suicide. If you follow me on any social media platforms, you know who Charlee is. Absolute unit in the gym. Expert fly fisher-lady. Incredibly loyal friend. And in a very happy, healthy relationship. That wasn't always the case. In this episode Charlee shares a bit about her experience in a long-term abusive relationship, some of the red flags she didn't see, and how she's dealt with healing from the abuse since the relationship ended. Thank you to Charlee for being willing to share. I hope you guys enjoy the episode. National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: 988Support the show

This a bit of a bonus episode for the week!If you listened to the last episode, you know that I went to an LGBTQ event in Provo, Utah put on by the Raynbow Collective. The event featured a "Family Friendly Drag show" and there had been protest organized by a group. I went as an observer and spoke with a few of the attendees as well as a handful of the protesters. Tommy reached out to me and said that he'd be willing to be on the podcast. This episode features Tommy and Luke of the BYU Conservatives instagram group. We discuss the purpose of the protest and some of the concerns a handful of the protesters had. Fair warning to those who listen: we talk briefly about suicide as well as transgenderism. Tommy and Luke do list some statistics, however they don't cite any sources (to be fair, I had not ask them to cite sources, but certainly should have). If you're curious about a lot of the data that they do mention, you can find a lot of it in Abigail Shrier's book "Irreversible Damage" and the sources she cites in her work. Support the show

The Raynbow Collective hosted a "Back to School Pride Night" in an attempt to show support for queer students that attend BYU. For anyone who is not aware, BYU is possibly the least queer-friendly university in the country. That is my personal opinion, at least. There were booths, activities, vendors, live music and, to end the night, a "family-friendly" drag show that was supposed to be appropriate for all ages. Conservative groups got wind of the drag show and staged a protest. This podcast episode isn't for or against one side or the other, it is simply some of my thoughts and observations of the event and the protest. I hope you enjoy. Thanks for listening.Support the show

Captain Michelle Tavarez has been with the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department for nearly 20 years. She has also been out as a lesbian woman and member of the LGBTQ community for equally as long. On today's episode she discusses her career in law enforcement, coming out, being a mother and some of the challenges she's faced on both the law enforcement and LGBTQ fronts. Some of the themes that stood out to me,  and that Michelle touches on repeatedly,  were integrity, transparency and communication, all of which are things I believe help build bridges between groups that don't often seem to get along. When we think about the LGBTQ community and Law Enforcement, we often times think that the groups are opposed and that there is only room for conflict. Michelle talks about the steps that LVMPD has taken and will continue to take to ensure that all the members of their community, including the LGBTQ members, feel seen and safe and valued. Support the show

I met Schadie this year and she's quickly become one of my greatest friends and I feel so fortunate to have her in my corner. She's been through a lot. She's seen a lot. She's overcome a lot and she has A LOT more to accomplish in her life. She shares a little bit about her story of recovery from alcohol and addiction, her next step in becoming a police officer and shares a bit about her divorce. There are more than a few tangents that we go on, but I hope we can touch on something that you need to hear. Thanks for listening!You can follow Schadie on TikTok: @schadielady and Instagram: @sunschadesonSupport the show

Nic and I met for the first time at Girls in Wonderland in Orlando, FL. I will never attend again, BUT!!! We crossed paths there, eventually we exchanged some merch and I was surprised to learn that she'd been listening to my podcast. Leave it to my own prejudices to assume that it wouldn't really be her thing. She'd sent me a card along with her "Spread the Love" hat and I was touched by what she'd written. On this episode, Nic talks a little bit about her own story, her faith in God and some of her goals for her platform.I hope you guys enjoy this conversation as much as I did! Nic is taking a bit of a social media hiatus while she works on editing and publishing her book series (very much looking forward to that). You can follow her on tiktok: @NicTheChic and Instagram: @nicthechic831ALSO! Nic has some dope merch. Snag some of it here.Support the show

Hello lovely humans! Welcome to season two of Edugaytion 101. I know I took a bit of a hiatus and I appreciate your patience with me while I navigated life. Here are a few reasons I'm excited for this next chapter of the podcast:1: We are going to hit some heavy topics. Brace yourselves. Especially if you're religious. 2. I'm having a handful of guests on to offer some different perspectives and share different experiences that I hope you all can relate to. 3. As always, I'm excited to offer a little hope that things do work out, that you're not alone on this journey and that you can laugh your way through some of the hard stuff. You are going to be okay. Thanks for listening!Support the show

A question that I get a lot is: How do you deal with the bible thumpers? The pulpit pounders? The unbearably loud and preachy gatekeepers of Christianity who keep saying that you'll go to hell for being gay? Long story short, I don't give them the time of day, but this episode dives into a little bit of my outlook on the people who continue to try and use religion and the bible to shame people back into the closet. I hope you enjoy. Thanks everyone!Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/notstraightkait)

Ah the Baby Gays. The recently out. The newly instated members of the alphabet mafia. We love them. We roll our eyes at them. We laugh with (read: at) them. But mostly we are confused about whether or not we are one and how we advance past that stage. There are a lot of stereotypes surrounding Baby Gays and we'll cover some of those in this episode. Don't take this one too seriously. Enjoy!Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/notstraightkait)

A lot of my podcast thus far has been about some of the more difficult aspects of coming out. This episode was based off of the response to a question posed on my Instagram. A friend of mine asked what the most exciting thing was about being gay/lesbian/queer/not straight/homosexual (whatever you want to call it). This isn't something that I'd necessarily given a lot of thought to, so it was fun to reflect on the last few years of my life and identify the exciting stuff, rather than just the difficult stuff. For me, one of the most exciting realizations or aspects of coming out has been that I can feel all the exciting, butterflies-in-the-stomach, head-over-heels type of love that my friends always felt for the males. I'm not saying that I didn't genuinely like  the men that I have dated in the past, but the relationships that I've had with men do not even come close to comparing to the relationships that I've been in with women.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/notstraightkait)

I talked in one of my episodes about coming out in layers. This episode touches on a separate layer that I didn't really consider until Hannah reached out on instagram. It has to do with appearance and presentation. Looking back I can see where I started making changes in my aesthetic. Subtle changes that eventually lead to my tomboyish, masculine lady that also likes to throw on some mascara and fill in the brows. I don't consider myself to be particularly fashionable, but I enjoy a good button up WAY more than I did two years ago. I have always had more masculine energy and I feel like I'm finally in a place where my outward appearance matches that. I've seen my friends have both subtle and incredibly drastic changes in their appearance and presentation after coming out, but the thing I have loved witnessing the most is seeing the INCREDIBLE increase in confidence that comes with wearing clothes that you like and that you find yourself attractive in. Feeling like you need a new wardrobe? I say GO FOR IT. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/notstraightkait)

I don't know that I've dealt with a lot of people who are truly homophobic. By "truly homophobic" I mean they really have decided that they dislike someone based solely on their sexual orientation. I think ultimately though, the question is do you want to start a conversation or  be contentious? It is obviously very easy to become angry or upset when someone says or does something that is homophobic, but getting angry and calling them a homophobe and using all sorts of profanity is only going to make them like you less and now they next time they find out someone is gay, all they're going to think about is that absolutely nasty interaction they had with you. Do I think your feelings are justified? Sure. It is not fun to hear someone say something negative or derogatory about the gays. Do I think you have the responsibility of opening a productive dialogue with that person instead of cussing them out and causing contention? Yes. I do. There are many who would disagree with me, and that's okay, but you are responsible for how you respond to the world when the world doesn't treat you fairly.Thanks for listening everyone! Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/notstraightkait)

When I was growing up, therapy was for people who had *problems*. It was all hush hush and you weren't supposed to talk about it because no one was supposed to know that things weren't all sunshine and rainbows. Turns out, EVERYONE has problems and having an objective third party to weigh in and offer a different perspective is a good thing. For my faith/sexuality conflict, therapy was crucial. It involved a lot of me talking to myself (the part of myself that was fighting so hard to not be gay). In this episode I dive into one session in particular that involved me convincing a part of myself -the defensive, protective, self preserving part of myself - that I wasn't losing my soul... I was finding myself, and I needed that part of me to get on board. If you've got time, check out the merch: babygaymerch.comThanks everyone!Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/notstraightkait)

I don't know when the switch happened. I haven't been able to pinpoint it, but at some point I went from recognizing that I was attracted to women to really embracing that I was attracted to women. I remember my conversations with people started to change. Initially I was very hesitant to tell people that I was dating women and then at some point I just started not being concerned about their reaction. It wasn't a particularly healthy acceptance at first. I was gay and I supposed I was going to burn in Hell and I had just become resigned to my fate. Therapy helped me change my attitude toward that (thank goodness). I was only in the cynical phase for a few months, but long story short: at some point you will move from "I have these feelings for women" to "I am attracted to women and that is a positive thing". If you need someone to vent to, or to get something off your chest but you don't feel like you can tell anyone in your personal life, please shoot me a message. You're not alone. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/notstraightkait)

I remember a time when I felt stuck and the only possible solution was to run away and start over somewhere else. My perception was that I was hurting people that I cared about by simply existing and I wanted to escape. I wasn't going to tell anyone. I was going to load up a trailer and leave. That was my solution... for lots of people the only possible escape is much darker. I'm glad that I stayed. I'm glad that you are staying. There is so much to learn, even though the lessons are oftentimes very painful. I saw a post on Instagram by Jordan B. Peterson that said "Life can be meaningful enough to justify its suffering." I believe that. Yes, there is pain. Yes, there is hurt. But there's also joy and love and light. We create that together. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/notstraightkait)

I had a lot of thoughts this past week about my parents and the processing that they must have gone through when I came out. Their experience wasn't something I really thought about at the time as I was incredibly focused on my own pain, hurt and anger. Ideally, queer people wouldn't even have to "come out" but here we are in reality and most people aren't able to just accept the news and move on with life, especially those that are closest to us.  As you come out and try to practice the same sort of compassion towards others that you expect from them. They are also trying to navigate something completely new and a little compassion goes a long way. I personally, went through a phase of grieving the future that I thought I would have. I needed time for that. So did the people that were closest to me. If you want to check out tattoo stuff: @rumbotattoos on instagram. Follow NicTheChic on tikok and instagram if you don't already!Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/notstraightkait)

In this episode I sit down with one of my best friends, Kadee, to hear her perspective of my coming out story.  We met in an LDS single's ward and became friends almost instantly. It wasn't long before her family became my second home. Her parents and siblings welcomed me with open arms and when I came out a few years later, their home was a place I could go to feel like nothing had changed. There was no tension. No awkward silences. No side glances. No "I'm not sure how to navigate this" sort of discomfort. They didn't skip a beat. I was still Kait, and they loved me with the exact same sort of love as they had since the first time I walked through their door. If you're interested in supporting me, check out my Patreon: patreon.com/notstraightkaitOR.... Grab some merch from the website: babygaymerch.comSupport the show

On this episode of Edugaytion 101 I chat with my friend, Morgan, who shares a little bit of her coming out experience after having been married to  a man. We talk coming out, diving into the lgbtq community/dating, and some aspects of Utah culture that can make coming out a little difficult. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/notstraightkait)

Coming out happens in layers. This layer I call "thinking my whole world was going to fall apart because I was about to ruin everyone's happiness". That's a bit dramatic, but hopefully it conveys how terrified I was to come out to my family. *Terrified* I didn't know what to expect. My parents are fabulous people and I knew that I didn't need to be afraid of them disowning me or ostracizing me from the family or anything radical like that, but I knew that my coming out was going to be surprising and painful and disappointing. Find me on Patreon: www.patreon.com/notstraightkaitOR check out the merch website: www.babygaymerch.comSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/notstraightkait)

I've never felt like I needed to belong to a group. When I came out I wasn't an entirely different person... I was just me. I was more myself than I was before. Sometimes we jump to conclusions about people based on the very few things we know about them. You'll be disappointed with me if you take that approach. I'll keep you on your toes. Don't assume you know anything about me based on a few "labels" or "identifiers". Being gay doesn't mean I see eye to eye with all LGBTQ people. Being Christian doesn't mean I see eye to eye with all Christian people. I value individuality infinitely more than group identity. You are so much more than any group or "community" that you belong to.Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/notstraightkait)

Truth be told, this was the first podcast episode I ever recorded. I was in Florida for a weekend with my girlfriend, good friend Katie (@kay_tee_wilson on Tik Tok) and Patty, my O.W.L. (older, wiser lesbian. You can find her on Tik Tok and Instagram @patty4lp). Patty has been a dear friend since we connected on social media n 2021 and this was such a fun episode to record. we talked about her coming out story, what that was like in the 80's as well as her feeling about the LGBTQ community then vs now in 2022. I hope you enjoy and can take something helpful away from our conversation. Thanks for listening. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/notstraightkait)

I don't know how it happens for everyone else, but getting to a point where I finally acknowledged that I was, in fact, attracted to women took me SO long. Was I just really care about this person who happened to be a woman? Was she just my really good friend? Or was there something more to it? I didn't know if my feelings were coming from a place of friendship or a place of deep attraction, and it took a lot of time to sort through that. Having been told many times in my life how awful and wicked and sinful it was to be gay, I honestly battled with the idea that my attraction to women was awful and wicked and sinful. Somehow I found myself in a position where I became the thing that I had believed for so long was a gross perversion of nature. That was not an enjoyable battle to fight. It was lonely and confusing and dark. The kind of darkness that I believe can only be chased away by the love of God. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/notstraightkait)

I love telling stories. I never thought my experiences coming out would resonate with so many people, but here we are.... starting a podcast. In this episode I'll share a little bit about the "why" behind Edugaytion 101 and what you can expect for future episodes, as well as a little bit about my own coming out story. Hope you enjoy. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/notstraightkait)