Podcasts about abusive relationships

This week on Olivia's House, we're joined by TV presenter, therapist, author and Celebs Go Dating expert Anna Williamson. Anna opens up about one of the darkest periods of her life, including the abusive relationship that led to a mental breakdown that completely changed the course of her career. We also go right back to the beginning, from her days in a girl band Blush, to becoming one of the most recognisable faces in children's television. Plus, we talk Celebs Go Dating, her friendship with Luisa Zissman, life in the Hertfordshire countryside, house renovation chaos, motherhood, marriage and the lessons she's learnt from helping thousands of people navigate relationships. Link to tombola: https://www.tombola.co.uk/breast-cancer-now Podcast Description: Welcome to Olivia's House - Olivia Attwood's stylish, intimate podcast blends sharp humour with unfiltered, heartfelt conversation. From New York to London, Olivia invites bold guests to explore love, fame, family, and everything in between- no topic is off-limits. Expect scandalous stories, laugh-out-loud chaos, and the honest, messy moments that make us human. So… are you coming in? Follow Olivia's House on socials:https://www.instagram.com/thisisoliviashouse/https://www.tiktok.com/@UCGofwI2H68gcethF6_RkWCgx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr Azadeh Atzberger is Azadeh Atzberger is a distinguished 3-time bestselling author. As a transformational life coach and couples coach, Azadeh is dedicated to empowering individuals to transcend their past and manifest the lives they aspire to lead. Her work is a testament to the power of resilience, healing, and personal growth. She invited me to do an interview on her podcast and share my story and here is the episode - if we could rebuild and start over after horrible relationships, I know you can too and I hope this episode inspires you!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What starts as an Adderall pill shared in a high school hallway on Long Island doesn't look like the beginning of a story about psychosis. But for McKenna, that's exactly what it was.In this episode, we sit down with McKenna Mangan - soon-to-be mom, wife, entrepreneur, and woman with over three years of sobriety — to trace the long and winding road from her ambitious beginnings to her most devastating lows, and ultimately to a life she never could have imagined for herself.McKenna was doing everything "right." She graduated from Fordham University, landed a coveted finance role on Wall Street, and had every box checked on paper. But underneath the success, what had started as casual Adderall use in high school had quietly grown into a full-blown dependency — one that Wall Street's pressure-cooker culture only accelerated. When the jobs disappeared, McKenna found herself back on Long Island with her addiction running the show, cycling through toxic and abusive relationships, and spiraling further from the woman she once was.The turning point came in the form of a two-month psychosis — a terrifying rock bottom that finally opened the door to real change.Now on the other side, McKenna shares how treatment didn't just save her life — it completely redirected it. Through connections made in recovery, she discovered a surprising new career path she never saw coming, one that lights her up in ways Wall Street never did. Today, she's building a business, a marriage, and a family, all rooted in the clarity that only sobriety can bring.Today's episode is brought to you by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Seasons ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠in Malibu. For over 18 years, Seasons has been a sanctuary for individuals seeking to reclaim their lives from addiction and mental health challenges. Our story began with a simple but profound vision: To create a luxurious sanctuary for individuals struggling with addiction or mental health issues, where they can receive the finest, evidence-based treatment in the world.Built on Compassion, Driven by ExcellenceWhat started as a small number of compassionate professionals has grown into one of the nation's most respected luxury treatment centers. But growth has never meant losing sight of what matters most—the individual engaging with our therapists, one-on-one, taking the courageous first step toward healing.From the beginning, we understood that truly transformative treatment requires more than clinical protocols. It demands a personalized approach, led by the most qualified professionals, in an environment that nurtures the whole person. That's why we've assembled a team where every primary therapist holds a Doctorate in Psychology - a distinction virtually unmatched in our field.Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Seasons Malibu⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ online or call 1-866-314-5160 for more information.Connect with Seasons on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠DM me on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Message me on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Listen AD FREE & workout with me on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect with me on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email me at chasingheroine@gmail.comSee you next week!

In this episode, we meet Genesis, a 31-year-old former Jehovah's Witness who shares her journey from a high-control upbringing to finding authentic peace. Born into the organization after her grandmother was recruited during a time of extreme grief in 1960s Cuba, Genesis describes a childhood dominated by "fear and anxiety" regarding the impending apocalypse. She details the devastating impact of the organization's shunning policy, which saw her 16-year-old brother cast out and his parents told to "pretend he died," leaving Genesis as the "replacement child" under intensified surveillance and bizarre modesty rules involving everything from sandals to jean shorts in swimming pools. Genesis also opens up about her early marriage to a "JW dream man"—a relationship born more out of a desire for escape than true compatibility—and the subsequent institutional betrayal she faced when he cheated. From being pressured by elders to "forgive and forget" his infidelity to the "miraculous" relief she felt upon walking away during the COVID-19 pandemic, her story is a masterclass in reclaiming agency. Today, she deconstructs the toxic narrative that success outside the cult is merely a "blessing from Satan," proving instead that true happiness comes from the hard work of self-care and autonomy. Key Takeaways Exploitative Recruitment: The organization systematically teaches members to look for "pain points," such as death in the family or isolation in foreign countries, to bait vulnerable people with the promise of a "resurrection hope". The "Death" of the Living: Shunning is used as a punitive tool for control; Genesis's mother was explicitly told to "pretend like [her son] died" after he was disfellowshipped at age 16 for refusing to rat out his friends. Control via "Appearance": Modesty rules are often arbitrary and based on the whims of local elders, such as banning sandals to avoid "provocative toes" or requiring women to wear jean shorts over swimsuits. Financial Abandonment: By discouraging higher education and retirement savings, the organization often leaves elderly members penniless, sometimes even encouraging them to leave their homes to the Watchtower instead of their own children. Reprogramming Happiness: Recovery requires unlearning the "survivor's guilt" associated with success, as members are conditioned to believe that any good fortune outside the group is a trap set by Satan. Direct Quotes "I am truly living for me, myself, and I. And as some people may say that it's selfish, but it's not. It is so nice to be selfish and put yourself first". Resources Mentioned ExJwHelp.com: Cult recovery coaching and resources. patreon.com/shunned: Bonus content and guest connections. ShunnedPodcast.com: Merchandise, story submissions, and guest info. This JW Life: The host's original podcast. BecomingJehovah.com: Free online book by the host. Guest Bio Genesis is a 31-year-old former Jehovah's Witness and first-generation American who successfully reclaimed her autonomy after three generations of family involvement in the organization. She now lives a life defined by peace and healthy boundaries, finding joy in travel, her career, and her relationship with her husband. Support the show and get bonuses as well by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let's talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach with a focus on cult recovery. Click HERE for more information. Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com Leave us a review on iTunes Find shunned podcast on Youtube, including new VIDcasts here. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram. You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show. This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah's Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Read my FREE online book, based on This JW Life, called Becoming Jehovah, in both English and Spanish by clicking here An ExJW podcast and ExJW YouTube Channel

Top Ten from 2025: #10 Domestic Violence and Abuse: Identifying and Healing from Abusive Relationships with Stacey Womack (Episode 263)   Mark 10:27 NKJV "But Jesus looked at them and said, “With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.”   **Transcription of original episode** Domestic Violence and Abuse: Identifying and Healing from Abusive Relationships with Stacey Womack (Episode 263)   Questions and Topics We Discuss: Will you teach us about the various types of abuse? How do we respond appropriately and in a Christ-like manner when someone does report abuse? What are your views for having biblical reasons for divorce, specifically as it relates to each type of abuse?   Stacey Womack is an award-winning expert in domestic violence from a faith-based perspective. She founded Abuse Recovery Ministry & Services (ARMS) in 1997 and she is a published author and sought after national speaker. Stacey developed and wrote the curriculum used for ARMS programs, including Her Journey for survivors of abuse and Mankind and Virtue for men and women who have used abusive behaviors. She has assisted tens of thousands of people in recovering from both the receiving and giving of abuse. Her passion has grown ARMS, a small grassroots organization, to now having an international reach.   Abuse Recovery Ministry & Services Website   Stacey's Books   Thank You to Our Sponsor: Grace Catering   Other Related Episodes on The Savvy Sauce: 146 Biblical Response to Emotionally Destructive Relationships with Leslie Vernick 148 Overcoming Evil with Good: Recognizing Spiritual Abuse with Dr. Diane Langberg   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” 

One of the hardest lessons in life is learning that you cannot save someone who isn't ready to leave an abusive situation. Long before I started speaking online about toxic relationship dynamics, I had to make the incredibly painful decision to cut off one of my best friends because of the toxic relationship he refused to walk away from.In this video, I share that personal story and break down the emotional toll of watching someone you care about choose toxicity over friendship. We discuss why your advice isn't landing, how being the "caretaker" enables the cycle, and why setting boundaries with a struggling friend is sometimes the only way to protect your own sanity.NYC EVENT - ⁠www.mentalhealness.net/events ⁠Connect with Lee:My Courses: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://courses.mentalhealness.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 1-on-1 Coaching Calls: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://link.me/mentalhealness⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠All My Link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.page/mentalhealness ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow on Instagram/TikTok: @mentalhealnesssIf this episode helped you gain clarity, please leave a 5-star review on Spotify! It helps others find the validation they need to heal.

Content Warning & Disclaimer Please proceed with caution. This episode may be highly triggering for survivors of abuse and trauma. Listener discretion is strongly advised. Anne offered to tell her story to us. An army veteran, Anne found herself falling for Peter, who was also an army vet. They had a lot in common, so striking up a relationship was very easy. There are many facets about Peter that were appealing, but when he became angry about something, he turned into a whole different person. Not only in his behavior, but also the look on his face, in particular, his eyes. He promised he would not allow himself to become that angry again. But he was not able to do that. Although a very strong person in many ways, Anne made the mistake of allowing Peter into (and taking control of) her life. This took time to happen, but later had the appearance of an overall plan. There were many unfortunate decisions made by Anne, but they were attempts at making Peter more comfortable and increasing his self esteem. We ask ourselves how could a smart woman like Anne allow this to happen, but she was a good person who was trying hard to lift Peter up in life. He took full advantage of her good acts. Like with each of our survivor stories, there are many lessons to be learned from hearing Anne's story. If you're in an abusive relationship, dealing with trauma from childhood, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers validation, insight, and hope. Host: Bill Mitchell If you're experiencing intimate partner abuse, coercive control, or narcissistic abuse—or if you suspect someone you care about is—Riel's story offers critical perspective on spotting red flags early, breaking free, and finding support. You're not alone, and recognizing the patterns can be the first step toward safety and recovery. Domestic violence resources are available 24/7—reach out if you need help. Are you a survivor ready to speak out? Email Bill Mitchell at BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com to share your experience on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get the WHEN DATING HURTS Book:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Explore more through the WHEN DATING HURTS book by Bill Mitchell, available on Amazon in paperback, eBook, and audiobook formats. It's an essential resource for understanding domestic violence and dating safety. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Content Warning & Disclaimer Please proceed with caution. This episode may be highly triggering for survivors of abuse and trauma. Listener discretion is strongly advised. Anne offered to tell her story to us. An army veteran, Anne found herself falling for Peter, who was also an army vet. They had a lot in common, so striking up a relationship was very easy. There are many facets about Peter that were appealing, but when he became angry about something, he turned into a whole different person. Not only in his behavior, but also the look on his face, in particular, his eyes. He promised he would not allow himself to become that angry again. But he was not able to do that. Although a very strong person in many ways, Anne made the mistake of allowing Peter into (and taking control of) her life. This took time to happen, but later had the appearance of an overall plan. There were many unfortunate decisions made by Anne, but they were attempts at making Peter more comfortable and increasing his self esteem. We ask ourselves how could a smart woman like Anne allow this to happen, but she was a good person who was trying hard to lift Peter up in life. He took full advantage of her good acts. Like with each of our survivor stories, there are many lessons to be learned from hearing Anne's story. If you're in an abusive relationship, dealing with trauma from childhood, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers validation, insight, and hope. Host: Bill Mitchell If you're experiencing intimate partner abuse, coercive control, or narcissistic abuse—or if you suspect someone you care about is—Riel's story offers critical perspective on spotting red flags early, breaking free, and finding support. You're not alone, and recognizing the patterns can be the first step toward safety and recovery. Domestic violence resources are available 24/7—reach out if you need help. Are you a survivor ready to speak out? Email Bill Mitchell at BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com to share your experience on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get the WHEN DATING HURTS Book:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Explore more through the WHEN DATING HURTS book by Bill Mitchell, available on Amazon in paperback, eBook, and audiobook formats. It's an essential resource for understanding domestic violence and dating safety. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHEN DATING HURTS book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Hotline.org ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠– Call 800-799-SAFE • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LoveIsRespect⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RAINN.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WhenDatingHurts.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ DISCLAIMER: The WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast is providing this platform for information to be shared. We do not state with any certainty that anything is true or untrue. Understand that what you hear is the viewpoint of the people sharing. The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only. Any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. This Podcast should not be considered professional advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever gone back to an abusive relationship only to find that the behavior became significantly worse almost instantly? There is a specific logic behind why this happens, and it has nothing to do with how much you love them.In this video, I'm explaining the strategy behind why an abusive person punishes you for returning. We discuss why the "mask" never goes back on, how the cycle of abuse accelerates, and why your return is viewed as permission for more intense behavior.If you are struggling with the urge to go back or wondering why it didn't work the second time, this behavioral breakdown is for you. Learn how to end the cycle once and for all.NYC EVENT - www.mentalhealness.net/events Connect with Lee:My Courses: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://courses.mentalhealness.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 1-on-1 Coaching Calls: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://link.me/mentalhealness⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠All My Link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://beacons.page/mentalhealness ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow on Instagram/TikTok: @mentalhealnesssIf this episode helped you gain clarity, please leave a 5-star review on Spotify! It helps others find the validation they need to heal.

Sometimes the hardest part of healing isn’t what the world did to you, it’s unlearning the version of yourself you became just to survive it. Today, Jay sits down with Hayden Panettiere for a raw and powerful conversation where she shares the truth behind a life the world thought it knew, but never truly understood. What unfolds isn’t just a story about fame, it’s a powerful reckoning with identity, pain, and resilience. From losing the innocence of a normal childhood to carrying the emotional weight of growing up in the spotlight, Hayden shares how early success came with hidden costs, bullying, isolation, and a lifelong struggle to feel like she truly belonged. This conversation goes beyond the headlines and into the heart of a woman who has spent decades learning how to separate who she is from who the world decided she should be. As the conversation deepens, Hayden opens up about the hidden battles that shaped her adulthood, including addiction, postpartum depression, and the weight of living her trauma both privately and in public. She reflects on the surreal experience of playing a character whose struggles mirrored her own, where the line between performance and real life pain began to blur. Together, they unpack the patterns, the pressure to please, and the emotions she never had the space to process that kept her stuck in cycles she couldn’t break. Within it all, a powerful truth emerges: healing isn’t linear, and even in the darkest moments, there’s a quiet strength still fighting to rise. Through grief, loss, and unimaginable challenges, Hayden is learning to reclaim her voice, trust herself again, and step into a new chapter defined not by survival, but by intention. In this episode you'll learn: How to Heal When Your Identity Was Shaped by Others How to Rebuild Self-Trust After Years of Self-Doubt How to Break Free from Toxic and Abusive Cycles How to Cope with Anxiety That Feels Never-Ending How to Navigate Postpartum Depression Without Shame How to Stop Living for Approval and Start Living for Yourself How to Let Go of the Need to Fix Everyone How to Set Boundaries with People You Love How to Keep Going When Life Keeps Breaking You If you see parts of yourself in this story, the doubt, the pain, the patterns you wish you could break, know that you’re not alone, and more importantly, you’re not stuck. Healing doesn’t happen all at once, and it doesn’t require perfection. This Is Me: A Reckoning is Hayden’s memoir where she shares a rare and intimate glimpse into her life behind closed doors, opening up about postpartum depression, addiction and recovery, trauma, domestic abuse, and loss. To get a copy, visit: https://www.amazon.com/This-Is-Me-A-Reckoning/dp/B0G7L8QSTK With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast Head to miraclegro.com to check out all of their easy-to-use products and start your growth journey today What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:53 A Childhood Memory That Shaped Your Strength 03:11 Realizing Your Childhood Wasn’t “Normal” 05:03 Feeling Too Much While Trying to Find Where You Belong 08:08 Turning Early Bullying into Inner Strength 12:12 Growing Up Before You Were Ready 14:55 The Moment You Stop Living for Your Family’s Expectations 18:09 Releasing the Need for Everyone’s Approval 22:33 Meeting Your Real Self For the First Time 24:42 Choosing Yourself and Finding Peace 27:07 Finding Strength When You Don’t Feel Safe 31:21 Learning to Rise After Betrayal 35:18 Learning to Trust Yourself Again After Being Let Down 37:04 Staying Steady When Everything Around You Isn’t 39:19 The Cost of Living for Applause 44:21 Letting Yourself Love Again 48:25 Finding Strength Through Anxiety 55:35 The Reality of Postpartum No One Talks About 01:00:27 Losing Everything You Built and Starting Again 01:03:52 The Truth About Postpartum Depression 01:07:41 Letting Go Even When It Hurts 01:14:57 Choosing What’s Best for Your Child 01:17:18 Staying Close Even When You’re Far Apart 01:21:16 Finding the Strength to Leave an Abusive Relationship 01:30:41 Rebuilding Yourself After Trauma 01:35:36 Finding the Courage to Ask for Help 01:37:46 Walking Away and Reclaiming Your Power Episode Resources: Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/haydenpanettiere/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

29-year-old Katie Haley arrived home on a Friday night in March 2018 after a long shift at a Melbourne tavern. Her partner Shane had been messaging throughout the day, calls, accusations, jealousy, and control that had continued for hours... After reaching her limit, Katie stands up and starts packing a bag. She tells him the relationship is over. She’s leaving with their daughter. But she never makes it out the door. Today, we’re speaking with Katie’s sister, Bianca Unwin, who has since become an advocate for domestic violence awareness following her sister’s death, and who now speaks openly about coercive control and the warning signs that were not fully recognised at the time. LINKS If you’re experiencing family and domestic violence, Safe Steps provides immediate and confidential assistance. Find out more here. If any of the contents in this episode have caused distress, know that there is help available via Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. GET IN TOUCH Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @truecrimeconversations Want us to cover a case on the podcast? Email us at truecrime@mamamia.com.au or send us a voice note. Make sure to leave us a rating and review on Apple & Spotify to let us know how you're liking the episodes. CREDITS Guest: Bianca Unwin Host: Gemma Bath Senior Producer: Tahli Blackman Group Executive Producer: Ilaria Brophy Video Editor: Julian Rosario Audio Engineer: Tegan Sadler Mamamia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which we have recorded this podcast.Become a Mamamia subscriber: https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

4.22.2026 #RolandMartinUnfiltered: VA Redistricting Win for Democrats. MAGA Cries Rigged. Earth Day Justice & ICE Fight Virginia voters have approved a new congressional district map that may enhance Democrats' electoral prospects in November. MAGA supporters are claiming the election was "rigged." We'll discuss why this represents a victory for democracy. A Virginia activist will explain why ICE's plan to convert a vacant 9,000-square-foot building in Suffolk into office space is not the best idea. Today is Earth Day, and we'll speak with the Executive Director of the Deep South Center for Environmental Justice about alternative approaches to environmental justice, especially in light of the Trump administration's rollbacks of critical initiatives. And we will continue addressing the epidemic of fatal domestic violence by exploring the underlying issues that contribute to such tragedies. Tonight, we will focus on how to escape violent situations and what healing looks like for survivors. We will also discuss the legal aspects, including temporary restraining orders and the potential charges and sentences for offenders. Democratic Florida Congresswoman Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick resigned just hours before the House Ethics Committee was set to discuss potential sanctions against her following her conviction for multiple violations of campaign finance laws. The Justice Department is investigating the Southern Poverty Law Center in connection with a now-defunct program that used paid confidential informants to infiltrate white supremacist and other extremist groups. Virginians have less than an hour left to vote in the redistricting referendum. A Texas police officer has been relieved of her duties after a video of her racist rant went viral. The former self-described "Super Mayor" of Illinois, Tiffany Henyard, will be allowed to continue her campaign for a Georgia County Commission seat as a Republican. We will continue addressing the epidemic of fatal domestic violence by focusing on the "Anatomy of an Abusive Relationship." In tonight's "Shop Black Star Network" segment, we'll showcase a little magic with Afro Unicorn. Download the Black Star Network app at http://www.blackstarnetwork.com! We're on iOS, AppleTV, Android, AndroidTV, Roku, FireTV, XBox and SamsungTV. The #BlackStarNetwork is a news reporting platform covered under Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.Democratic Florida Congresswoman Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick resigned just hours before the House Ethics Committee was set to discuss potential sanctions against her following her conviction for multiple violations of campaign finance laws. The Justice Department is investigating the Southern Poverty Law Center in connection with a now-defunct program that used paid confidential informants to infiltrate white supremacist and other extremist groups. Virginians have less than an hour left to vote in the redistricting referendum. A Texas police officer has been relieved of her duties after a video of her racist rant went viral. The former self-described "Super Mayor" of Illinois, Tiffany Henyard, will be allowed to continue her campaign for a Georgia County Commission seat as a Republican. We will continue addressing the epidemic of fatal domestic violence by focusing on the "Anatomy of an Abusive Relationship." In tonight's "Shop Black Star Network" segment, we'll showcase a little magic with Afro Unicorn. Download the Black Star Network app at http://www.blackstarnetwork.com! We're on iOS, AppleTV, Android, AndroidTV, Roku, FireTV, XBox and SamsungTV. The #BlackStarNetwork is a news reporting platform covered under Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Text us your questions or topics for the show! We got you!Cass Morrow, Author of Disrupting Divorce: The NEW Man. Saving Struggling, Sexless, and Toxic Marriages.Kathryn Morrow, Author of Behind The White Picket Fence.Abuse is hard to ignore.It should be.In this episode, Cass and Kathryn draw a hard line:if you are in physical danger, this message is not for you.Get safe. Work with a domestic violence specialist. Don't twist marriage advice into permission to stay in harm's way.But for the people dealing with emotional abuse, verbal abuse, financial control, spiritual manipulation, sexual disconnection, and chronic relationship sabotage — this conversation goes straight at the real issue:you can't rebuild your life by obsessing over your partner while ignoring yourself.Inside this episode:The difference between physical danger and destructive relationship patternsWhy Cass and Kathryn do not tell physically unsafe women to “just leave” without a planWhy abuse should never be ignored or toleratedHow focusing only on your partner keeps you powerlessWhy identity and personal responsibility matter even inside painful marriagesFinancial abuse, dependence, and the hard truth about building your own optionsHow shutting down, reacting badly, and losing yourself deepens the cycleWhy second, third, and fourth divorces happen when people never address themselvesThe brutal truth: if your partner left today, would you still know who you are?Key line from this episode:“If you're not safe, this message is not for you.”

4.21.2026 #RolandMartinUnfiltered: FL Rep Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick Resigns. DOJ Probes SPLC. Racist Cop Video Sparks Outrage Democratic Florida Congresswoman Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick resigned just hours before the House Ethics Committee was set to discuss potential sanctions against her following her conviction for multiple violations of campaign finance laws. The Justice Department is investigating the Southern Poverty Law Center in connection with a now-defunct program that used paid confidential informants to infiltrate white supremacist and other extremist groups. Virginians have less than an hour left to vote in the redistricting referendum. A Texas police officer has been relieved of her duties after a video of her racist rant went viral. The former self-described "Super Mayor" of Illinois, Tiffany Henyard, will be allowed to continue her campaign for a Georgia County Commission seat as a Republican. We will continue addressing the epidemic of fatal domestic violence by focusing on the "Anatomy of an Abusive Relationship." In tonight's "Shop Black Star Network" segment, we'll showcase a little magic with Afro Unicorn. Download the Black Star Network app at http://www.blackstarnetwork.com! We're on iOS, AppleTV, Android, AndroidTV, Roku, FireTV, XBox and SamsungTV. The #BlackStarNetwork is a news reporting platform covered under Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sometimes both people in the relationship are hurtful, controlling and manipulative. When that's the case, it's going to take more than one person stopping the behaviors, and that presents a few challenges in itself. 

Is the West trapped in a trauma bond with its own leadership? In this gripping episode of heretics., Andrew Gold sits down with world-renowned narcissism expert Richard Grannon to dissect a terrifying theory: Britain (and the wider West) is currently in an abusive relationship. Watch our bonus chat on https://andrewgoldheretics.com  SPONSORS: Go to https://surfshark.com/heretics for 4 extra months of Surfshark  Get an exclusive 15% discount on Saily data plans! Use code andrewgold at checkout. Download Saily app or go to https://saily.com/andrewgold   Check Plaud UK: https://bit.ly/40Gzdh1  | US: https://bit.ly/475MQKe Notepro: https://bit.ly/479tWSR Organise your life: https://akiflow.pro/Heretics  Earn up to 4 per cent on gold, paid in gold: https://www.monetary-metals.com/heretics/  Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at https://mintmobile.com/heretics  From the "P-Button" used to reputationally destroy anyone who steps out of line, to the "Dark Ego Vehicle" theory that explains the rise of left-wing authoritarianism, Grannon reveals how psychopathic traits are being rebranded as "woke" empathy. In this episode, we uncover: - The Shared Fantasy: How governments induce "love bombing" to control the masses. - Reputational Warfare: What is the "P-Button" and why is it the ultimate weapon of modern narcissists? - Woke Narcissism: Why "suicidal empathy" is often just a mask for self-serving grandiosity. - The Death of Manners: How the loss of politeness is leading to a total societal collapse. - Richard also shares the harrowing story of the moment his world changed—being glassed in a club—and how that "shock of evil" led him to study the darkest corners of human psychology. Are we being gaslit by the state? Watch now to find out. #Narcissism #CultureWar #heretics  Join the 30k heretics on my mailing list: https://andrewgoldheretics.com  Check out my new documentary channel: https://youtube.com/@andrewgoldinvestigates  Andrew on X: https://twitter.com/andrewgold_ok   Insta: https://www.instagram.com/andrewgold_ok Heretics YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@andrewgoldheretics Chapters 00:00 Is Britain in an Abusive Relationship?  02:40 The "P-Button": The Ultimate Tool of Reputation Destruction  04:05 How the Government "Love Bombs" the Public  06:15 Who Are the Real Abusers? (Davos, Elites, & Systems)  08:20 Woke vs. Reality: The "Shared Fantasy" Theory  10:30 Psychopathy in Politics: The Dark Ego Vehicle Theory  12:50 Is "Woke Empathy" Just Narcissistic Masturbation?  15:15 "Communism Writ Small": The Trauma Bond of Political Correctness  20:20 The "Shock of Evil": Why Richard Grannon was Glassed  24:30 From Self-Defense to Narcissism: Richard's Origin Story  29:00 The Secret Collectivism of the Right & Individualism of the Left  33:00 Is Wokeness Filling a "Religion-Shaped Hole"?  35:40 The Rise of Islam & The Weakening of Western Individualism  42:00 Do Narcissists Need "Oppressed Groups" for Supply?  45:45 How Many People are ACTUALLY Clinical Narcissists?  49:15 The Tyranny of the Selfie: Is Society Reverting to Childhood?  53:30 Why Most "Victims" of Narcissism are the Problem  57:30 The Death of Manners & The Rise of the "Disagreeable" Hero Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Julie Barth is a mother, writer, trauma survivor and founder of a nonprofit that supports women-led households in crisis. She talks about raising a daughter with a rare genetic condition, losing her husband to cancer and finding her way out of an abusive relationship that followed. The conversation digs into how trauma shapes us, the unseen load so many women carry and the work of letting yourself be vulnerable in a world that keeps asking you to be strong. Julie's story is honest and brave and rooted in her fight to rebuild meaning and independence after profound loss.Contact me at silverliningshandbookpod@gmail.comCheck out Julie's book, Notes from a BlackBerry at Barnes & Noble.Check out the Silver Linings Handbook website at:https://silverliningshandbook.com/Check out our Patreon to support the show at:https://www.patreon.com/thesilverliningshandbookJoin our Facebook Group at:https://www.facebook.com/groups/1361159947820623Visit the Silver Linings Handbook store to support the podcast at:https://www.bonfire.com/store/the-silver-linings-handbook-podcast-storeVisit The True Crime Times Substack at:https://truecrimemessenger.substack.comThe Silver Linings Handbook podcast is a part of the ART19 network. ART19 is a subsidiary of Wondery and Amazon Music.See the Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and the California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Leaving an emotionally abusive relationship isn't just about walking away — and it's never as simple as having a plan. When fear, self-doubt, and uncertainty feel overwhelming, it's often because your sense of safety and self-trust has been shaped over time.In this episode of Single Parent Success Stories, Schalee Sanchez shares what it was really like to leave a 20-year emotionally abusive marriage with four children — and no clear plan for what came next.She didn't have security.She didn't have answers.She just knew she had to go.And what happened after she left… changed everything.This conversation explores what it really takes to leave a toxic relationship, rebuild your life as a single mom, and begin trusting yourself again — even when you feel completely unprepared.If you feel stuck…If you've been telling yourself “maybe it's not that bad”…If you're waiting until you feel ready…This episode will meet you there.In this episode, you'll learn:• What it actually feels like to leave an emotionally abusive relationship• Why fear and self-doubt feel so overwhelming in that moment• How she left with no job, no plan, and four children• The role of support and community in starting over• How to begin rebuilding self-worth after emotional abuse• What her children said that confirmed she made the right decisionThis episode is a reminder that you don't need certainty to take the first step.Sometimes, the decision to leave is where everything begins.

Christian Advice for Toxic Relationships Part 2 with Kris Reece (Episode 289)   *Disclaimer* This episode contains mature content and user discretion is suggested.   2 Timothy 3:1-5 NIV “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.”   *Transcription Below*   Kris Reece is a Christian Author, Toxic Relationship Coach, and Manipulation Tactics Specialist. Kris equips believers to escape the grip of toxic relationships—especially those shaped by guilt, confusion, or spiritual distortion. Her work empowers Christians to set biblical boundaries and walk in emotional and spiritual freedom. Connect with her on Instagram or through her website.    Thank you to our sponsor for today's episode: Sam Leman Eureka   Topics and Questions We Cover: Do you believe it's more nature or nurture or do you have any insight on why people are narcissists? Can we cut off toxic people without disobeying God? Will you share how we can forgive biblically, without tolerating further abuse?   Other Related Episodes on The Savvy Sauce Podcast: 146 Biblical Response to Emotionally Destructive Relationships with Leslie Vernick 148 Overcoming Evil with Good: Recognizing Spiritual Abuse with Dr. Diane Langberg 263. Domestic Violence and Abuse: Identifying and Healing from Abusive Relationships with Stacey Womack   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:10)   Laura Dugger: (0:11 - 1:13) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Thank you to an anonymous donor to Midwest Food Bank, who paid the sponsorship fee in hopes of spreading awareness. Learn more about this amazing nonprofit organization at MidwestFoodBank.org.   My returning guest for today is Kris Reece. If you didn't listen to last week's episode, I hope that you'll just press pause right now and go back to listen to part one.   After reading her amazing book, Breaking the Narcissist's Grip, I knew that we would need multiple weeks to cover this very important topic. So, we're going to dive deeper into part two today. Here's our chat.   Welcome back to The Savvy Sauce, Kris.   Kris Reece: (1:14 - 1:18) Thank you so much, Laura. I am so excited to be here again today.   Laura Dugger: (1:18 - 1:47) Well, I am delighted to have you back. And it was so surprising your answer to that first question last week. So, I want to unpack that a little bit further.   You were talking about so many adults who were struggling and coming for coaching that they were identifying the same thing, a relationship with a toxic mother. And so, can you paint the picture of what that actually looked like when they had that realization?   Kris Reece: (1:49 - 5:10) Well, you know, what's interesting is everybody had different realizations. Some came to them on their own. I wish I could take credit for it.   They really just came to the wow, I didn't realize just how much my mother keeps coming into this. And then others were really, you know, we had to kind of dig a little bit deeper in terms of what happened in childhood. And again, I'm not the type of counselor who would just sit back and look for excuses to blame somebody's parents.   Absolutely not. But when we start to kind of take a step back into the past to understand what's happening in the present, that's when all of that began to unfold. So, one woman in particular, oh, Laura, it broke my heart.   Absolutely. So, she was struggling with a very difficult marriage. She had no idea what she wanted to do with her life.   And she, honestly, from the way what she said, she says, I don't even know who I am. And when we started to unpack the relationship with her mother and her father and what life looked like when she was growing up, everything was all about pleasing her mother. And I don't mean in a healthy way where, of course, we want to please and get the approval of our parents.   It was to such an extreme that if she didn't speak the way her mother wanted her to, if she didn't comply the way her mother wanted her to, the mother would then manipulate. She would start to cry. Why are you destroying me?   Do you not see what you're doing to me? And then if that didn't work, if the daughter even tried to, and I got to tell you, from what I hear from this young lady, like maybe the age of 12, she had some pretty healthy responses that she was trying to take to this woman. And when that didn't go well, the mother wouldn't talk to her for a week, a week.   She wouldn't even cook for her. She wouldn't do anything. She wouldn't even acknowledge her presence.   So, this woman grew up believing that I now have to perform. And what's worse, she developed these codependent traits because she learned how to be a mood monitor. I have to now tiptoe around what is mom going to think.   What is mom going to say? And no longer is she now doing what's right. She's doing what feels right, meaning what's going to keep me out of trouble?   What's going to keep mom most happy with me? And she knew all of this was dysfunctional. But at the same time, of course, you're talking about a 12-year-old, and obviously these traits were going on long before that.   She's just learning how to cope. She's not there to parent the parent. But so now that's what she was taught and caught.   So, it's not like the mother came out of the bedroom every morning and said, hey, I'm going to teach you how to perform for me. I'm going to teach you how to monitor all of my moods. She didn't do that.   Everything was caught. So now her default mechanism is giving in to problematic relationships, tiptoeing around, avoiding things. So that's where the issue in her marriage then came in, and it started to get unpacked when we discovered what relationship with mom was like.   Laura Dugger: (5:12 - 5:39) Okay, and that's always so helpful to hear a true story, how that played out. I'm hearing sometimes maybe if you have a parent who's a narcissist, maybe that's likely that the child will experience codependency. But then also, do you see it as a typical generational pattern?   Let's say if you had a narcissistic mother, a lot of times she'll raise a narcissistic son and so on.   Kris Reece: (5:41 - 8:02) Unfortunately, yes. So guaranteed narcissism? Absolutely not. Guaranteed dysfunctional traits? Yes, unfortunately. So how can I be in an unhealthy environment and walk out healthy?   Unless I've done some work to recognize what the unhealthy patterns were. This is how I, I don't want to say contributed as in the child is at fault, but this is what I did to cope. And what helped me survive back then is actually killing me today.   So, unless a child, an adult child is going to begin to do that work, then yes, they're going to continue to carry some dysfunctional traits. Is it automatic that they will become narcissists? No, no, no, no, absolutely not.   Can they? Sure. Absolutely.   So, when we talk about how narcissism gets developed, it's especially through raising, it's either an overly attentive, overly admiring type of parent. Like, you know, Timmy can do no wrong. He's just wonderful and awesome and this and that.   So yeah, chances are Timmy's going to kind of step out of that with some bit of a narcissism. So, when the world smacks him around a little bit and says, Hey, you're not so awesome. He's either going to wake up and say, well, maybe I'm not, or he's now going to make those people the problem.   So narcissistic parents have a tendency to project all of their stuff onto the child. So, I, I encountered this one, one daughter that I worked with whose mother was a narcissist and whose brother now was becoming a narcissist. And what she would do is she would tell the son, this is why your teacher is picking on you.   He's jealous of you. This is why, you know, your, um, your friend doesn't call you anymore. It's because he's jealous of you.   So, she is priming this young man to be a narcissist because when he gets out into the world, not everybody's going to comply to that message. And now he's going to have the language to make them the problem. So, the son was a narcissist, the daughter, not so much, but she had a lot of dysfunctional traits that came as a, as a result of that relationship.   Laura Dugger: (8:03 - 8:16) Okay. So, then kind of the age-old question, do you have any insight for how much narcissism is nature versus nurture? What are we born with versus what are we trained into?   Kris Reece: (8:18 - 11:07) That's an awesome question because science shows us that narcissism is both. It's nature and nurture nature in the sense that we're all born selfish. We're all, we are all born sinful, but nurture, which implies the environment, plays a stronger role in whether those traits are actually going to develop into full blown narcissism or maybe even narcissistic personality disorder, which is far more rare than people think it is.   So, when we look at genetics, so that would be nature, twin and family studies actually suggest about 40 to 60% of narcissistic traits are hereditary, meaning that some people are born with temperaments that make them more prone to arrogance, low empathy, or emotional sensitivity. I don't know that I agree with that entirely, but let's move on to the nurture part. This is your environment.   So, the other 40 to 60% they say come from upbringing, things like overindulging or a highly critical parent. So, it can actually be both sides. So, it's not only the overindulgence, but it's that highly critical parent that is always criticizing but never offering any structured support.   It also comes from that inconsistent affection, conditional love. That's a huge one. I will love you if.   It can also come from childhood trauma, which can actually spawn from neglect or being overly praised for their performance rather than their character. So, in other words, genetics may load the gun, but environment pulls the trigger. So, what starts as survival, I'll never be hurt again, can now grow into pride, control, and entitlement.   So, I believe personally it has more to do with nurture. Science will say there's a strong mix of both. I think it's more nurture.   I do believe that we all have a temperament. You look at any children in your family. I don't know how many kids you have, but you'll see that even from a very young age, they all have very unique personalities from a very young age.   But within that temperament, we're all going to have our strengths and our weaknesses. So, some temperaments may be a little bit more prone to pride that does not guarantee narcissism because I've seen plenty of people with that temperament operate in their strengths as opposed to their weaknesses. So, I think a lot of it has to do more with nurture.   Laura Dugger: (11:08 - 11:38) That is incredibly helpful. And as people have been listening to this conversation and last week's conversation, let's just say if they open up to us and say, I've identified I am in relationship with a narcissist, what's the most helpful thing we can do and the most hurtful way we could respond, especially as Jesus followers?   Kris Reece: (11:39 - 13:30) I know we touched on this lightly last week. The first step is to shift your focus. That focus has got to come off the narcissist and back onto yourself and Jesus and Jesus through you.   You're not going to be able to change them. You are not going to be able to change them. If you're taking notes, I want you to write that down.   You cannot change them. Highlight it. Asterisk it. Circle it. Do whatever you need to do. You cannot change them, but you can choose how you respond.   So, when you stop trying to manage their behavior and start letting God heal your heart, everything changes. So, where we can begin is by saying, Lord, show me. Show me where I've lost my peace and help me take it back.   Show me where I have reacted inappropriately. Show me the entire truth in this situation because this is where real freedom is going to come in, not in fixing them, but in allowing God to restore you. So, you're saying what's the best thing they can do and what's the worst thing they can do?   The worst thing you can do is continue to focus on them. I know you're a narcissist. I know you're doing this.   I see you. Don't, don't, don't. It's going to steal your peace because remember, they've got default tactics.   They're either going to start love bombing and you're going to think, oh, this was great. I changed them. You didn't change them.   They just changed their tactic or they're going to start gaslighting you and they're going to start twisting scripture and they're going to start throwing it back at you. And that, that sense of enlightenment, if I'm allowed to use that word in this sense, that you're so enlightened to what they're doing and what's going on is going to get robbed so quickly. So, shift your focus.   Laura Dugger: (13:31 - 13:53) Okay. And then one step further, let's say it's our friend who comes to us. So then one step removed. Basically, even as the church, how can we respond to that person in a way that's actually helpful to them? And how can we respond in ways that are unintentionally, but still hurtful?   Kris Reece: (13:54 - 17:21) Yeah. So, this is so important. And I wish more people in the church would hear this because some of the worst gas lighters are standing behind the pulpit.   We put spiritual band-aids over demonic hemorrhages and we actually begin to make the situation worse. So, the most helpful thing that you can do is to believe them. Listen without judgment.   Now, I understand that there are a lot of people out there, and especially with that term narcissist. You have a pastor that's sitting down with a woman who comes into the office and says, my husband is a narcissist. We all just bristle.   I bristle when somebody comes in and says, this one's a narcissist. My first question is always going to be this. What makes you say that?   I don't automatically correct them. I don't criticize. And I believe them to the degree that they're going through something.   Doesn't mean I have to believe them to the degree of what they would consider the diagnosis because that's irrelevant. But what we do need to believe is that they are going through something. And they need to be listened to without judgment.   Now, if something's wrong, if something needs to be corrected, we can do that later. Are we really going to bring any harm to somebody by delaying a little bit of correction while we make a proper assessment? So, if we're going to default to either one, whether it's not believing them or believing them, please believe them.   Just be that safe place. Because people in narcissistic relationships, true narcissistic relationships, are already doubting themselves. They are already questioning their own reality.   What they need is safety, not more spiritual pressure. So, we want to avoid things like spiritual bypassing. And this is where we just kind of stick scriptures on that emotional hemorrhage.   Oh, just forgive. Oh, just move on. Don't you think you're overreacting?   Have you prayed on this? Are you giving more sex? You know, we throw all of this.   And that kind of advice actually is the gaslighting that keeps someone trapped in a shame cycle because they walk out of there. I can't tell you the number of times men and women alike, they walk out from a Christian counselor or a church environment, and they feel worse than when they came in. They're not even looking for somebody to say, yes, he's awful. He's the devil. You are so wonderful. That's not even what they're looking for.   They're looking for some semblance of sanity. So, what you want to do is just remind them that Jesus never asked them to confuse love with tolerating abuse. Our job is not to fix their situation but just be that safe place that they need right in that moment.   That's really helpful. I'm a little passionate about that because it really angers me how the church is handling all of this stuff. We do a lot of messages on forgiveness, but we don't do any messages on accountability.   We're not doing any messages on repentance and owning our part. So, it leaves the one who's already assuming the responsibility to try to assume some more.   Laura Dugger: (17:24 - 20:01) And I think that's so helpful for, like you said, for pastors, for people in the church, for biblical counselors, because that can sound great, biblical counseling and giving scripture. But practically, sometimes that, I mean, Satan, even when he was tempting Jesus, used scripture, but twisted it and manipulated it. Not saying that biblical counselors are doing that, but that we can... Not intentionally, but yeah. That's a good clarification because we can misapply that.   And now a brief message from our sponsor.   Midwest Food Bank exists to provide industry-leading food relief to those in need while feeding them spiritually. They are a food charity with a desire to demonstrate God's love by providing help to those in need. Unlike other parts of the world where there's not enough food, in America, the resources actually do exist.   That's why food pantries and food banks like Midwest Food Bank are so important. The goods that they deliver to their agency partners help to supplement the food supply for families and individuals across our country, aiding those whose resources are beyond stretched. Midwest Food Bank also supports people globally through their locations in Haiti and East Africa, which are some of the areas hardest hit by hunger arising from poverty.   This ministry reaches millions of people every year, and thanks to the Lord's provision, 99% of every donation goes directly toward providing food to people in need. The remaining 1% of income is used for fundraising, cost of leadership, oversight, and other administrative expenses. Donations, volunteers, and prayers are always appreciated for Midwest Food Bank.   To learn more, visit MidwestFoodBank.org or listen to episode 83 of The Savvy Sauce, where the founder, David Kieser, shares miracles of God that he's witnessed through this nonprofit organization. I hope you check them out today. My desire would be the same as yours, that people could come to the church as part of their healing.   But I think that is helpful. We need to be aware of where we've gotten this wrong. And it is something you even wrote about in the foreword of your book.   You said that in Christian community, forgiveness is often misapplied as tolerance for abuse. So, is there anything else you'd want to add to that, especially sharing ways that we can forgive biblically without tolerating further abuse?   Kris Reece: (20:02 - 21:54) Absolutely. But first, I have to give credit to the incredible Gloria Gaynor. She was the one who actually wrote that powerful line in the foreword.   Forgiveness is often misapplied for tolerating abuse. And she captured something that I see so often in the church. Many Christians were taught that forgiving someone means keeping them close, pretending the offense never happened, and reconciling and trusting again.   But biblical forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing. Because forgiveness releases the offender from your judgment. Reconciliation requires their repentance.   You would be very foolish; I would be very foolish to reconcile in a relationship where there was no repentance. And Jesus commands us to forgive. Matthew 18, 22.   But he never told us to keep giving access to someone who refuses to turn from sin. He even set boundaries with those who are unrepentant. So why aren't we?   And I think that starts to become this Christian badge of honor, like we're somehow martyrs that we keep tolerating this abuse all in the name of love instead of setting boundaries. Because the truth is, at the end of the day, if I can be perfectly honest here, a lot of times it's not about us being loving, it's about us being afraid. Us being afraid to set those boundaries, afraid of their reaction, afraid of confrontation.   It's not about love. So yes, we can fully forgive and still create distance. But now we have to deal with the fallout of what that distance creates.   And that's stuff that if we turn our focus to Jesus, he begins to do in us. It's glorious if you actually allow it to unfold.   Laura Dugger: (21:56 - 22:24) Wow. And you've seen firsthand, I'm sure, so many miracles take place. But then you've said last time you're a practical gal.   So, as a believer, let's say if someone is in a relationship with a narcissist, that that's their parent or their spouse and they're unrepentant and it's been awful. Is there a way that as Christians they can cut off the relationship without disobeying God?   Kris Reece: (22:26 - 27:24) Absolutely. So, title is not going to trump toxicity. So, when the narcissist is a parent or a spouse, the answer isn't going to always be to just walk away.   It's to walk wisely. Because freedom doesn't always mean I got to say goodbye. It means I'm no longer being controlled by you.   And sometimes that's going to require distance or maybe even no contact for a season. Other times it just means a little bit more of an emotional detachment. And I don't mean that in a way that somebody might interpret as like I'm just going to now be cold to you.   But what I mean is that emotional detachment is that my identity, my worth is not wrapped up in your opinion of me. It's not wrapped up in your words. So, I have to have that emotional detachment so I can walk boldly in my purpose, in my identity.   And I can clearly set boundaries within the relationship. So, either way we have to look at this as the goal isn't revenge. The goal is not punishment.   It's peace. It's clarity. It's stewardship.   And that's where a lot of people get tossed up because we think, oh, you know, this is my spouse. This is my mother. And, okay, let's kind of separate those a little bit because the spousal relationship is the only covenantal relationship.   So, if your spouse has some narcissistic traits, meaning they're a little bit manipulative, they lie sometimes, they gaslight you, all that stuff, is that grounds for divorce? Unfortunately, no, no. You know, when it starts to venture into abuse, should we be getting away?   Yes. Every situation is going to be different to somebody listening right now that's going to bring tremendous relief to someone else. They're going to be very angry that I just said that because they want that way out.   But if God is not releasing you right now, I promise you it's because He's looking to do a work in you. And He's allowing this to stay right now. But, again, that is not an excuse to tolerate abuse.   But we also have to be careful what we call abuse. You don't make my breakfast the way I like and then you laugh at me. That's not abuse.   That's just a kind of faulty character. So, we really have to be careful as to what we label abuse. I know we're kind of getting down a little bit of a rabbit trail here.   But I know this is a very sensitive topic for most because some will say, no, the only biblical release for marriage is infidelity. And others will recognize that God does give concession for abuse. He's not calling you to stay in an abusive situation.   But we need to be careful what we do call abuse. So, walking away from the spouse is not as easy as walking away from a parent. You know, a parent, it's a little bit easier, but we still want to be able to guard our heart and understanding, am I walking away because I'm punishing you, because I don't want to deal with you, because I can't stand you, or dare I even say there's hatred on my heart for you.   That we really have to do a self-check. But if we're walking away because we have to start protecting our peace and start stewarding everything God's given to us, whether that's our peace, our heart, our purpose, then that's biblical. Because I think it's more society tells us, no, no, no, we need to do what our parents say.   No, no, no, we need to live next door to our parents. No, no, no, we're not allowed to detach from them. Well, that's not what the Bible says.   You know, I look back over the Bible, and I'm just like, there are so many stories of people who, you know, kind of left their parents behind, whether for whatever reasons. Let's just say they journeyed on, and they never saw them again. You know, it wasn't like I have to live right next door to you.   But a lot of these parents will put their own rules in these relationships. And if you don't comply, well, now somehow the adult child is the problem. So again, sorry, I'm going down a few rabbit trails.   But this is a very passionate topic of mine, because there's so many nuances to it. And I wish I could just say that it's so easy as saying, just walk away. You know, you go to a lot of online resources, and they'll say, oh, you're with a narcissist?   Just leave. Just go no contact. It's not that easy, and it's not that biblical.   But sometimes it is. But here's what I do know, is that freedom isn't about always leaving them. It's about no longer losing yourself to them.   Laura Dugger: (27:26 - 28:19) That is good. And I think you've drawn it out clearly, that difference with it's a little bit easier to understand with a parent-child relationship. I'd love to dive into the spousal relationship, because that discernment is really tricky.   And like you said, it's so different from one situation to the next. I think of three other incredible women who have also been guests on the podcast. Because you can do a deep dive and listen to Dr. Diane Langberg, Leslie Vernick, and Stacey Womack, where we do discuss a lot of this. But Kris, I'd really value your opinion, too, to also help with that discernment. In the spousal covenant, how can you identify when there is abuse versus just some of those tendencies that you mentioned?   Kris Reece: (28:20 - 33:06) How do you differentiate? So, there's going to be a spiritual and then a practical approach to it. The first one is spiritual.   You have to be prayerful. Because a lot of, let's just say women in this case, a lot of women who struggle with codependency, they will see abuse where there may just be personality differences. There may be some character flaws.   There may be differences, some behavioral issues. But because she's been so afraid to speak up for so long that she's now internalizing it as I feel abused. So, I had one situation where this woman would constantly call her husband abusive.   So, she would say something like, you know, if you're going to keep talking to me this way, then I think we need to create a little bit of distance between us. And what he meant was, like, I need to go in the next room. Because, you know, you're really reactive here, and I don't like the way you're talking to me.   And she would say, “I'm tired of being abused by you.” And he would ask, “what are you referring to? What do you mean by abusive?”   And she would go off on these generalities. Now, is that to say that a woman like that isn't abused just because she can't put language to it? No, that's not true.   But we also have to be careful. Has our upbringing trained us to see abuse where there isn't? So, I just want to put that as a caveat.   That's not always the case. And a lot of the counselors that I've been friends with and I connect with, don't experience that a lot. For some reason, that's a lot of the women that God has sent to me.   I don't know why. I don't know why. But a lot of the ones that are interpreting abuse or exaggerating abuse, I should say, where it isn't as abusive as they're saying it is.   I need to step back a little bit because this is probably angering somebody right now. They're like, no, I'm being abused. I have no doubt.   I have no doubt about that. But there are going to be some, some of us, who will interpret abuse the wrong way. So, I need you to be very, very prayerful and careful with how we use that word because I personally think the word abuse is even more abused than the word narcissist because it's very convenient.   Unless I've got physical scars, unless I hear somebody's spouse constantly yelling at you and berating you, I can't quantify that. I can't see it. I don't know.   But I do know that there is something that's taking place within you and something that's definitely taking place within the dynamic. So now let's take a big giant step back. How do I know that this is abusive?   Somebody is constantly invalidating you, meaning they are questioning your motives. They are accusing you of things that you're not doing. They are taking away your support.   They are making themselves your lifeline, meaning they're kind of isolating you. They're saying unkind and untrue words. They are unrepentant, unrepentant people.   These people are abusive because they're going to look to constantly justify their behavior. If you can't have a healthy, open dialogue with somebody who, when they make mistakes, maybe they'll come back and repent later, then you are likely in more of an abusive situation than you are a healthy dynamic. And don't get me wrong.   We've all got our dysfunctions. I even had a conversation with my husband just yesterday. And he said to me, he's like, honey, are you sure that's the most healthy way to be interacting right now?   And I didn't even realize that I had fallen back into an old pattern. It was temporary, but we're able to call each other out on certain things. When you don't have that kind of healthy dynamic where you can now both be accountable to each other, one has the power in the relationship, it's likely abusive.   Laura Dugger: (33:06 - 34:26) By now, I hope you've checked out our updated website, thesavvysauce.com, so that you can have access to all the additional freebies we are offering, including all of our previous articles and all of our previous episodes, which now include transcriptions. You will be equipped to have your own practical chats for intentional living when you read all the recommended questions in the articles or gain insight from expert guests and past episodes as you read through the transcriptions. Because many people have shared with us that they want to take notes on previous episodes, or maybe their spouse prefers to read our conversations rather than listen to them.   We heard all of that and we now have provided transcripts for all our episodes. Just visit thesavvysauce.com. All of this is conveniently located under the tab show notes on our website. Happy reading!   You articulate things so well, Kris, and there's a million more questions I could ask you, but I want to respect your time. So, I know that there's places we can go after this conversation to just continue learning from you.   So, can you share where we could head after this chat?   Kris Reece: (34:27 - 34:40) Absolutely. Well, I'd love it if you would head on over to the website. That is krisreece.com.   It's Kris with a K, Reece with a C. There you'll find a whole bunch of resources, free downloads. My new book is there.   So that would be the best place to go.   Laura Dugger: (34:41 - 34:58) Wonderful. We'll link to that again in the show notes for today's episode. And as you remember from last time, we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, it's my final question for you today, Kris. What is your savvy sauce?   Kris Reece: (34:59 - 41:20) Absolutely. So, my Savvy Sauce is learning to trade people's expectations for God's direction. Because peace always follows purpose.   You know, for so long I thought success, even spiritual success, meant being busy, being available, being constantly on. And honestly, if I can dare confess, fixing people. But the truth is that burnout's not holy.   Productivity isn't purpose. And before now, before I say yes to anything, I ask this one question. Is this an assignment from God, an expectation from people, or a diversion from the devil?   And that single filter has brought so much clarity and peace into my life. And I know we're running low on time, but there's something that's really touching on my heart. May I speak to it?   Please. Because, you know, a lot of times we don't, as people who have been in toxic relationships, we have no filters anymore. We just allow everything that they're bringing in to just invade our soul.   We don't have any external filters. We don't filter our mouth. We don't filter our mind.   We don't filter anything. And we don't stop and ask, wait a minute, hold on a second. Is this coming from God?   And this is why it's not so easy to say, hey, you know, that toxic relationship with your mother, just leave. Just go no contact. Move five states away.   Or no, you need to honor and obey. You need to just stay put. There is no hard and fast rule.   Now, there is one. We are called to honor, but how we interpret that honor, that needs to be biblical, not according to mom's standards. So instead of just doing away with all filters, I want to be able to put those proper filters in place and saying, is this from God?   So, let's take the relationship, for example. In my previous marriage, I was married to a narcissist. I learned very early on in the marriage that there was a problem.   I had no idea it was narcissism. I didn't even get language for that until years after the divorce. But very early on in the marriage, and I said, okay, Lord, what do you want me to do?   Because everything in my flesh said just run, just run. And he had me stay for nine years. He had me stay.   And I went through so many different phases. But what I recognized is in those nine years, God did an amazing transformative work within me that in hindsight I recognized he couldn't have done, or probably, yeah, he couldn't have done because I would have just moved on. So, I needed to be in that situation to be on my knees.   I needed to be in the midst of it to be in prayer. Because if I just left, that would have been a form of avoidance. So, in that case, it wasn't as easy.   And according to some people, I probably would have had a biblical release to leave. Now, eventually, it was an obvious biblical release. I mean, there was no doubt I was free to leave this relationship.   And that's when I knew that God had released me. So, we want to be able to examine, okay, God, do you have me in this for a reason? Is it for a reason and a season?   What are you doing inside of this? We make the assumption as people that God would never want me to suffer like this. Is that true?   Because I suffered for nine years, and it brought me to a greater level of faith and a greater level of glory, so that suffering served his purpose. So, the same thing is true for a parent relationship. God could have you in a situation where, no, you don't have a choice to leave.   But that doesn't mean that you don't find freedom from that person, even if you can't leave. And that's why the book is called Breaking the Narcissist's Grip. It's not called Let's Go No Contact because I just want to be able to break that stronghold that you have over me, even if I am still present.   So now there are going to be other times where Satan is now going to send toxic people into your life, and you're going to think that it's your responsibility. Oh, God has put me here. No, Satan hand-delivered them.   And your job is to apply 2 Timothy 3.1. In the last days, there will be people who are lovers of self, proud, arrogant, boastful, and that list goes on. And what does God tell us to do at the end of that scripture? Avoid such people.   So now Satan sends in a diversion, and we decide that we're going to play Holy Spirit, and we're going to be the ones to be Jesus. We're just going to show them Jesus. No, the enemy is successful, slowly trying to destroy you.   And that's where we have to now put that filter on. So, when you go back, this is a very long answer to your savvy sauce. It's I have to be able to trade what people's expectations or even my expectations would be for what God wants in that moment.   Does he want me to stay in this relationship? What is he looking to do in me and through me? Does he want me out of that relationship?   Am I now codependent? Am I trying to stay in this longer than he called me to? And I'm now suffering the consequences of my choices.   So, in summary, I guess you could say when we stop chasing approval and start walking in alignment with what God wants from us, our life gets a whole lot lighter.   Laura Dugger: (41:22 - 41:57) Wow, Kris, I'm so grateful that you shared all of that and unpacked your answer and let us in on a glimpse of your story. Thank you for walking faithfully through that. And then for modeling that it's it wasn't a black and white answer, but at one time he had you stay and one time he set you free to go.   And I just really appreciate all that you've shared with us. You have an uncanny gift of speaking truth and love. So grateful for you.   Kris Reece: (41:58 - 42:01) Thank you. I greatly appreciate that. Thank you, Laura.   Laura Dugger: (42:03 - 45:44) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

In today's video we discuss signs that will help you to know if you are in an abusive relationship. I hope this video is helpful.You can get help right now:National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233Text "BEGIN" to 88788Website: https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence

In this insightful interview, Shalina Lodhia, an expert in criminology and domestic violence, discusses the complexities of narcissism, coercive control, and how women can recognize and cope with abusive relationships. The conversation covers the spectrum of narcissistic behaviors, cultural influences, and practical strategies for safety and awareness.visit: www.TheRawVibe.comvisit: Shalina Lodhia

Toxic Relationships: Recognizing Narcissism in a Spouse, Parent, or Child with Kris Reece (Episode 288)   *Disclaimer* This episode contains mature content and user discretion is suggested.    Proverbs 27:6 AMP “Faithful are the wounds of a friend [who corrects out of love and concern], But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful [because they serve his hidden agenda].”   *Transcription Below*   Kris Reece is a Christian Author, Toxic Relationship Coach, and Manipulation Tactics Specialist. Kris equips believers to escape the grip of toxic relationships—especially those shaped by guilt, confusion, or spiritual distortion. Her work empowers Christians to set biblical boundaries and walk in emotional and spiritual freedom. Connect with her on Instagram or through her website.    Thank you to our sponsor for today's episode: Midwest Food Bank   Topics and Questions We Cover: In your opinion, can you be a Christian and a narcissist? Will you share a few of the toxic tactics narcissists use for power and control in relationships?  Will you define codependency for us and also reactive abuse and trauma bond?   Other Related Episodes on The Savvy Sauce Podcast: 146 Biblical Response to Emotionally Destructive Relationships with Leslie Vernick 148 Overcoming Evil with Good: Recognizing Spiritual Abuse with Dr. Diane Langberg 263. Domestic Violence and Abuse: Identifying and Healing from Abusive Relationships with Stacey Womack   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:10)   Laura Dugger: (0:11 - 1:29) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Leman Property Management Company has the apartment you will be able to call home, with over 1,700 apartment units available in Central Illinois. Visit them today at lemanproperties.com or connect with them on Facebook.   My captivating guest for this week is Kris Reece. She has an abundance of resources available online, and she's actually recently had this book published, Breaking the Narcissist's Grip. I cannot recommend this episode enough to you to find out about toxic relationships, whether that's with your parents or your adult children or your spouse. She's going to do a deep dive into narcissism. Help us understand it, help us identify those people in our lives, and most importantly, offer some hope, which is only possible through Jesus Christ. Here's our chat.   Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Kris.   Kris Reece: (1:31 - 1:34) Thank you so much for having me. I am so blessed to be here.   Laura Dugger: (1:34 - 1:48) Well, I am so grateful to have you, and you are in a unique line of work that is so needed. How did you get into this work of offering Christian advice for toxic relationships?   Kris Reece: (1:50 - 4:16) Well, I'll give you the short version of that story. So, I had been in the fitness industry for a good 20 plus years, and I went back to school for counseling and theology because I really wanted to be able to help people emotionally and mentally as opposed to just physically, right?   So, as I started to counsel people, there were women that were coming to me from all walks of life and all ages. I'm talking 16 years old all the way up to 86 years old. And no matter what their issue was, no matter what they were struggling with, they were coming to me for purpose or just growing in their faith. It all came down to one thing. And Laura, I think this might surprise you just as much as it surprised me. Toxic mothers. I was floored. And this wasn't the kind of thing where now we're just blaming mom for everything. No, this started to get revealed on all of the dysfunctions that were taking place within their relationship with their mother and how it had impacted them in so many areas of their lives. So, I said, “Lord, I need to dive deeper into this.” Now, I had already come out of, unfortunately, several toxic narcissistic relationships, not with my mother. So, that was very foreign to me. So, I started to dive deeper into how those same traits applied. And it was sad and it was very scary. So, I started teaching more on that.   And then they started coming out of the woodwork. But what about my husband? What about my daughter? What about my boss? What about my... And it was just like a flood. And it reached a point where, Laura, I got to confess to you. I took this to the Lord and I said, please don't send me. I don't want to do this. This is toxic. It's like you're just dealing with this toxicity all day long. And once I began to rest in, not just talking about the toxic relationships, but understanding where His heart was in it and the healing that He wants, not only for the toxic people, but those weren't the ones that were coming to me, the ones that were affected and infected by it, is when my heart started to shift. I said, “okay, God, all right, send me.” And here we are. Many, many years later.   Laura Dugger: (4:16 - 4:41) Well, you've done some incredible work. And I am shocked by that answer. Can you clarify too with the toxic mothers? That's not speaking to the mom who's trying her best asking the Lord for help and yet making mistakes. Would you consider them as mothers who are narcissists or does toxic embrace a wider?   Kris Reece: (4:41 - 6:01) Toxic can embrace a much wider spectrum. It could be borderline personality disorder, even a lot of codependent traits. If they're not harnessed properly or surrendered to the Lord, it can be very toxic to our relationship. You know, you're dealing with the guilt and the manipulation. No, we are not in any way talking about a mother who's made some mistakes, hands up, who's surrendering all this to the Lord and really just trying to find her way, you know, regardless of whether it's a newborn, an infant, a teenager or an adult child.   That's not what I'm referring to as a toxic mother. And some of them do struggle because it's so common for, I guess, young adults at this point to just be like, my mom's toxic because your mother had an opinion, because your mother is trying to get a little bit more time with you. Now, all of a sudden she's toxic. So, the label is unfortunate, but no, we're not referring to that type of mother. We're talking about the ones that have been approached lovingly and gently and are still standing firm in their manipulation, their guilt, their no, this is my way or the highway, their distorted view of scripture. I don't care if you're two or 42, you're called to obey me. That's the kind of toxic mother we're talking about.   Laura Dugger: (6:01 - 6:13) That is helpful. And then just to zero in on that term, narcissist, can you just help us understand what characteristics define a narcissist?   Kris Reece: (6:14 - 8:00) Yeah, absolutely. So, at its core, narcissism is less about confidence and it's more about this distorted sense of self. And that distorted sense is what damages relationships. Psychologically, narcissism can actually be marked by three pillars.   Number one is an exaggerated sense of self-importance. They quite honestly believe that the world revolves around them. Two is a deep need for admiration. They crave validation and praise, and we call that supply. So, if you're giving it to them, you're on their good side. You're not, you're on the bad side. And then lastly is their lack of empathy. This is a true hallmark of narcissism. But I know you didn't ask this, but we kind of go down a little bit of a rabbit trail.   Now that narcissists are starting to catch on to what these traits look like, they're doing what we call performative empathy. So, they're looking and they're saying all the right words. One of my, I love to say is they got the words, they ain't got the music. So, you really have to understand what true empathy looks like, but they lack empathy. So, and then what happens is from those traits are going to flow three roots, entitlement, arrogance, and manipulation. They twist everything and it's all about them. And one of the things that we need to understand is that a one-time selfish act doesn't make someone a narcissist. I've said some things that, oh boy, that I need to repent of. It doesn't make somebody a narcissist, but a lifestyle of self-protective empathy, lacking behavior at the expense of others. Yeah. Raise the red flag.   Laura Dugger: (8:01 - 8:22) That's helpful. That even shows us the difference between a little self-absorbed or mistakes made and a narcissist. But then I'm also curious as we're raising children, do these traits show up early in life or when are they usually identifiable?   Kris Reece: (8:23 - 10:25) That's a great question. One that I don't think you're ever going to be able to get a solid answer from anyone on, because narcissistic traits, while they don't just appear out of nowhere, we can say that they're formed in childhood. And we can say that probably almost every child is a bit narcissistic. I mean, we don't get like the terrible mind, mind twos from nowhere. I mean, as children, as human beings, I mean, even scripture tells us we are innately selfish. Our heart is deceptively wicked. So, the point of childhood is for the parents to now pull that out of the child, to grow that out. Right. And a lot of times that doesn't take place. So, what we have to understand is that the roots usually form in childhood, but the fruit shows up later in life.   So, in childhood, you may notice things like entitlement, this extreme sensitivity to criticism, but kids, like we said, are naturally self-focused. So, that's actually going to be part of their normal development. So, kids are self-centered by nature, but narcissism becomes very concerning when someone never grows out of it. So, when we start to see by the teen years, you see that pattern take place and how they handle correction, how they handle empathy and accountability. And if empathy isn't growing, but entitlement is, oh, we've got a pretty big sign. So, now by adulthood, those narcissistic traits, they just become unmistakable.   You see the manipulation, the blame shifting, the lack of accountability, the control, especially when life requires any type of humility. So, immaturity says, I messed up. Narcissism says, you made me do it.   Laura Dugger: (10:25 - 11:04) Oh, that's helpful. And I guess just to put parents at ease, if they are parenting, let's say tweens and teens, I'd love to hear your take on this, but something we learned in grad school was that they said, “don't freak out when your child, even when your teen does this, because a lot of times teenagers could be fitting all of the description in the DSM for multiple things.” And that is part of adolescence and going through puberty and everything. But what I hear you saying is then if that pattern continues into adulthood, especially as you're developing certain things, but lacking empathy, that's one big concern. Is that correct?   Kris Reece: (11:04 - 12:07) That is correct. That is why they don't diagnose teenagers with narcissism, because quite honestly, I would say about 98% of them would be diagnosed. So, no, that's why we don't, because a lot of teenagers are that way. So, yes, don't panic if your teenagers are acting that way. But the other thing that I would also say is don't chalk it up to a phase. It's a great opportunity to speak the truth in love. You may not think they're hearing it. You may not think they're receiving it, but we are responsible as parents for obedience, not outcome. Of course, we want the best outcome for our children possible, but we can't just chalk up those traits as, ah, they're just being teenagers. Ah, it's just a phase. No, as your parent, I need to teach you and train you out of that phase, not force you out of the phase, but I need to train you out of that phase. And then the rest is going to be up to them.   Laura Dugger: (12:07 - 12:22) That's good. Knowing who's part to own. And would you say part of that then is disciplining them and discipling them, training them in the ways that we would think of or anything that you would add for how to help train our children out of these characteristics?   Kris Reece: (12:23 - 13:39) Absolutely. So, we do want to train them in the way they're supposed to go. So, when there is entitlement, we don't chalk it up to a phase. We don't continue to give what they're expecting. So, there needs to be consequences for behavior. And I'm not talking harsh punishment, but there's two sides. So, if there is really bad behavior that needs to stop, then there needs to be a consequence for that. On the flip side, if it's behavior that could kind of be borderline, and I don't mean borderline personality, I just mean borderline in terms of is this bad or is this a phase, then it's a talking too.   Hey, why did you decide to handle your classmate in this way? What do you think could have been a better way? What was the point of your outcome? What were you hoping the outcome would be, I should say? And then starting to really guide them through that, because they're still in their very formative years in terms of processing, in terms of how to cope with things. So, if they're now going to start defaulting to patterns that maybe that was taught or caught, we really want to take that opportunity to train them out of that. And we can do that with gentleness and love. And then, of course, use consequences when necessary.   Laura Dugger: (13:40 - 13:52) That is so well summed up, Kris. I appreciate that. And then what are some types of narcissism that make it especially difficult to recognize at first?   Kris Reece: (13:53 - 16:40) Oh, my favorite one. And I say that with seeping sarcasm. Is the covert narcissist. We would call that one the quiet one. And now if you want to add another layer of complexity, the Christian covert narcissist. This one is going to be the hardest type to detect because they don't look confident. They look wounded. They use self-pity. They use guilt. They use this emotional fragility. But they're using it to control others. And what we have to recognize is covert narcissists, they don't dominate the room. They dominate your emotions. They play the victim. So, you now feel responsible for their feelings, their life, their outcome. That's a scary one.   The other one is what we call the communal or we could refer to them as more of the spiritual narcissist. This is what we would refer to as the helper or the holy one. So, they appear really generous. Big servant's heart, maybe in a serving profession. They're spiritually devoted, but it's all about image. And they're going to use the good deeds. They're going to use the faith, the ministry, or their morality as proof of their superiority. And they may quote the Bible, but they will use shame, silence, and scripture to control others.   And the other one is, this is a little bit more of the obvious one, but we often disguise this in our society. And that's the overt. This is your classic narcissist. This is the one that people recognize. They're loud, they're attention seeking, they're boastful, they're arrogant, and they are just outwardly entitled. But we often, depending on the position that they're in, in business or politics, we're like, oh, they're confident. Oh, they're good leaders. They could be classic overt narcissists. And a lot of times these narcissists really go unrecognized because they always, always start with the charm or the kindness. My favorite is the connection. They establish this connection with you. They're gonna mirror your values, your interests, and yes, even your faith. And a lot of times they appear very wounded or generous, and the whole intention is to now just disarm you. Bottom line is a lot of narcissists, they're gonna wear different masks, but at the core, they're all the same.   Laura Dugger: (16:41 - 18:35) And now a brief message from our sponsor.   With over 1,700 apartment units available throughout Pekin, Peoria, Peoria Heights, Morton, and Washington, and with every price range covered, you will have plenty of options when you rent through Leman Property Management Company. They have townhomes, duplexes, studios, and garden style options located in many areas throughout Pekin. And make sure you check out their newest offering; the McKinley located in Pekin is a new construction addition to their platinum collection. Featuring nine-foot ceilings, large spacious layouts, beautiful finishes such as quartz countertops and garages, you won't want to miss this outstanding new property.   In Peoria, a historic downtown location and apartments adjacent to OSF Medical Center provide excellent choices. Check out their brand-new luxury property in Peoria Heights, overlooking the boutique shops and fine dining on Prospect. And in Morton, they offer a variety of apartment homes with garages, a hot downtown location, and now a brand-new high-end complex near Idlewood Park. If you want to become part of their team, contact them about open office positions. They're also hiring in their maintenance department. So, we invite you to find out why so many people have chosen to make a career with them. Check them out on Facebook today or email their friendly staff at leasing@lemanprops.com. You can also stop by their website at lemanproperties.com. Check them out and find your place to call home today.   Do narcissists recognize or ever admit to being narcissists? Can they ever see that in themselves?   Kris Reece: (18:36 - 20:20) That's a great question. And that's actually two-sided. So, the one where I would say no, they don't see that in themselves. They see themselves truly as entitled, as somebody who's been given the short straw, somebody who is owed something, the victim. They honestly don't see themselves as narcissistic.   Then there's another side where they sort of see it and they actually will use that now to their advantage. See, this makes me somebody who is self-reflective. This is somebody who is, I'm willing to recognize where I've gone wrong. But the problem is, there's no depth there. You'll get generalities like, oh, I know I'm not perfect, but, and then you'll get a litany of justifications or you'll, I know I'm not perfect, but all of your sins are now laid out in detail. So, they will, if they do recognize it, they will use it to their advantage.   Now there is that final subset that does start to recognize and they see, I don't want to be this way. Wow, I've caused a lot of destruction to relationships. I do want to change. And that road is really long, really long. But I'm not, I'm not of the camp that believes that narcissists don't change. They can, if they want to. It takes a lot to recognize it. And I've seen some do.   Laura Dugger: (20:22 - 21:11) I appreciate that hope. You don't always hear that very often with this type of personality. But I think one more piece that has always been so confusing to me when loved ones have shared that they're in a relationship with someone who is a narcissist, whether that's their spouse or their parent is where I've been in friendship with people before. But they, all of their stories, no matter where they live in the world, the narcissist seems to struggle with the same things. They seem to act the same way. They're master manipulators. And I just don't understand how they all have the same playbook. And like you say, they lie even when they don't have to. So, as you've thought about this, are there any reasons why it's so similar across the board?   Kris Reece: (21:14 - 23:27) Yes, because by nature, they are, they're lazy. They don't want to put in an effort. And they're also, what word would I use to describe this? It's almost like they're aliens to empathy. So, if you could imagine an alien coming from, I don't believe in aliens, so please don't hear what I'm not saying, but let's just imagine for a moment, you know, they come on this earth and they're like, oh, I got to adapt myself to these people. I got to fit in. What do I do? So, they're going to start listening. They're going to start mimicking behaviors and they're going to start testing to see what works and what doesn't work. So, for them, now we go back to that whole childhood thing. If they've learned that the only way to get what I want is to lie, the only way to get people to see me as XYZ is to manipulate, that's what they're going to do. And they're going to do it by default.   And that's what people don't understand is that default mechanisms are so powerful that even a master manipulator could turn around and say, “you know, I really, I recognize, yeah, I do manipulate a little bit.” And then when push comes to shove, if they have not done the hard work to begin to dig and really understand where it came from, why it's there and start to develop the patterns to override it, they're going to default to the same way every single time.   And that's why they lie so easily. It's just a default. Now, I'm not saying that as an excuse, but it's a default. And what they also don't realize is that this is not just psychological. This is spiritual. Narcissism is fueled by pride, deception, and control. Is that describing anybody we know? That's the enemy to the core. So, it's not that they're all just studying the same playbook. It is that they're all influenced by the same spirit. And that's what we're struggling with.   Laura Dugger: (23:29 - 24:00) Wow. And that really, there was an aha moment, and I wrote this down, kind of what you're saying. But on page 133, you said, “it's like they're demonically inspired or at the very least, influenced.” And I think that makes so much sense. Even the insidious ways that they are cunning or crafty, that they're influenced by our enemy. That makes a lot more sense. Anything else that you would want to add to that?   Kris Reece: (24:02 - 25:36) Yes. When we look at, I hate to, I don't like to label people. But when we look at how the enemy operates, let's look at how Satan operates. Kill, steal, destroy. Control, pride, deception, manipulation. If he is now influencing these people and they are not putting up any of the barriers, they're continuing to give him a foothold. They are now walking in his purpose. So, if Satan is looking to do this to you, why wouldn't his ambassadors? They are highly influenced by his behaviors, and they don't even realize it. So, yes, we can have compassion. We can take this to prayer because any stronghold can be broken. But that's got to be done by the power of Christ.   So, we pray for their eyes to be open. We pray for them to see the wickedness of their ways and give them a desire to turn from it. But you're not going to change that. It's not going to happen, especially when it is so deeply spiritually rooted. Because a lot of times we get caught in the, well, I'm a good person. Well, I would never behave that way. If I knew I was doing that, I'd want to change. So, we think that our explanation alone is really just going to be the aha moment for the narcissist, right? So, we explain, we re-explain, we over-explain. And then what we don't realize is that now we just got caught in that trap as well. We're now playing that game on their turf and we're not going to win. We have got to hand over this spiritual battle to the Lord.   Laura Dugger: (25:37 - 25:54) Okay, so then that makes me wonder, you said that there is hope. So, how is this treatable? You've kind of let us in on a little bit of it, but also can you just share if you have ever seen someone repent or change their ways?   Kris Reece: (25:56 - 28:30) Yes, more than one. I've seen it on more than one occasion. It is a journey. It does not come from you just over loving them and just giving them passes and excuses and being more like Christ. It's usually from what I refer to as a two-by-four moment.   When God just clunks them over the head, everything is lost, everything is gone, and everything that they held so dearly, meaning everything that was holding them up. So, if you can think about narcissists, they can't function on their own. They don't have their own self-identity. They don't have their own self-discipline. They don't have any other self-regulation. They have no sense of self. So, everything is external. So, when God is looking to change somebody, guess what's going to happen? He's going to start kicking out those crutches one by one, and then they're going to get the two-by-four moment, which is that knock over the head, like that road to Damascus experience that Paul went through. It's like, hello, are we going to wake up here?   And that is when they start to have their awakening, and that is when they begin to pursue, hey, I think change might be possible. This is what happens to me. And then in that environment, if they're able to get met with then the love and the compassion, again, not the enabling, then you'll start to see that change begin to unfold. Narcissism is treatable, but not in the way people often imagine. It's not this surface-level behavioral issue. It's not getting somebody to say, I'm sorry, or getting somebody to validate you. It is a deep identity and a heart issue that is rooted in pride. And I don't know about you, there is not enough experience on the planet. I could never take somebody through that. That has got to be a God moment.   And that's where I want to just caution people sometimes, especially if we struggle with codependency, thinking that we are now responsible for these people, that maybe God planted me in their lives for such a time as this. Stop, stop, stop. Guard your heart. Allow God to heal you of what's driving you now to want to fix this person. And truly, truly, if you really love this person, pray for them, go into warfare for them, but hand them over to the Lord.   Laura Dugger: (28:32 - 28:48) Okay, so then another spiritual question, Kris, in your opinion, can someone be a Christian, a true born-again believer, and a narcissist? Ah, I love and I hate this question.   Kris Reece: (28:52 - 32:44) Hilary, you're going to love and hate my answer. Yes and no. So, in one sense, yes. In the sense that somebody can actually profess faith and faith in Christ but still live in a way that looks absolutely nothing like him. And we see this all throughout scripture. But claiming Christ and following Christ are not the same thing. And that's where I believe that there are times where it's no. You know, just because you had an altar moment where some way, somehow your belly was full, you were well rested, the music was just right, and you came to this place of, okay, I'm going to give my life to Christ at the altar, but you continued in your iniquity for the next 30 years. I really have to seriously question your salvation. But it's not my job to question someone's salvation. But I can question your walk. If I'm not seeing the fruit of that walk, I don't know that I can call you a brother or a sister. If you continue to walk in that route of pride and self-exaltation and manipulation, it's not of God. So, there's a difference between a Christian who's struggling and a Christian who's just refusing to admit any of the error of their ways. One of the questions that we really have to ask is, can a narcissist be saved? And the answer to that is absolutely. Jesus came for the broken, the blind, the hard-hearted, every single last one of them. But that transformation is going to require repentance.   So, yes, I think our hope always needs to be in, Lord, you can save them. If you saved a wretch like me, you could save them. So, now what happens is our prayer needs to now shift. Lord, give them a heart of repentance, a willingness to see themselves truthfully and surrender to your work. That's where our prayer now needs to shift. Not, Lord, get them to stop doing this, get them to stop doing that, get them out of here, move them on. Because if it is God's heart that none should perish, it should be our heart that none should perish. But all should come to repentance. So, that's where our prayer needs to be. So, yes, while there is hope, we're not mini-Jesuses. It's not going to happen. It's not our responsibility. Sometimes our responsibility is actually to step out of the way and allow them to suffer their own consequences, because that is what starts to bring a narcissist to themselves. Not always, but oftentimes. You know what it's reminding me of is the scripture in 1st or 2nd Corinthians, I can't remember, is when Paul commanded the young man who was sleeping with his stepmother to be cast out of the church, get rid of him, to send him out. And here's what he said, “Give him over to Satan for the destruction of his flesh.” So, it wasn't like, get rid of him. He's a piece of dirt. We don't want anything to do with him anymore. It's like, okay, if that's the lifestyle he wants to live, then let him live it. And let Satan have his way. So, his flesh is now destroyed. Not him as a person, but his flesh is destroyed. And that's really what narcissists are. They're very fleshly people. I want what I want when I want it, and I'm going to do whatever I can to get it. So, we really want to change our prayer to the Lord, lead them to repentance.   Laura Dugger: (32:49 - 34:01) Updated website, thesavvysauce.com, so that you can have access to all the additional freebies we are offering, including all of our previous articles and all of our previous episodes, which now include transcriptions. You will be equipped to have your own practical chats for intentional living when you read all the recommended questions in the articles or gain insight from expert guests and past episodes as you read through the transcriptions. Because many people have shared with us that they want to take notes on previous episodes, or maybe their spouse prefers to read our conversations rather than listen to them or watch them now that we're offering video rather than just audio. So, we heard all of that, and we now have provided transcripts for all our episodes. Just visit thesavvysauce.com. All of this is conveniently located under the tab show notes on our website. Happy reading.   Will you also share a few of the toxic tactics that narcissists typically use for power and control in relationships?   Kris Reece: (34:02 - 36:33) Yes, actually one of their favorite ones is gaslighting. And I think it's just a word that is so overused and abused, but it is so accurate because it's not just lying, it is denying, it is distorting, and it is rewriting reality with the intention to make you doubt yourself, your memory, your feelings, or even your sanity. Tell me that's not wicked. I don't know what it is. It's manipulation at its finest. And the same with love bombing, which is another one of their tactics. At the start, or not even just at the start, maybe when they recognize that you've had enough, like that's it, I'm putting my foot down, I'm setting boundaries, sometimes they'll come in with that love bombing. And what they do is they start to overwhelm you with the affection and the attention and the promises and the chores and all those things that you've been just fighting for all those years. What they're looking to do is to recreate or recreate that emotional dependency, because it's not about love to them, it's about bait. So, in their mind, they're not going, oh no, I'm losing this relationship. Let me get my act together. It's, oh no, I'm losing control. Let me get him or her back into my clutches. So, those are two of the very common ones.   Another one is projection. You want to know what a narcissist is doing? Listen to what they're accusing you of. That will tell you clearly what they've got going on. Lying, selfishness, anger, cheating, hiding, whatever it is, they want to put you on the defensive instead of facing their truth. So, what it does is it puts the spotlight on you and keeps it off them. So, those are some of the most common tactics that they're going to use. And it's on a spectrum. They will do it to different degrees. They'll do it in different ways to different relationships. But they're always going to do what has worked in the past. So, again, once your eyes start to open, now it becomes more difficult. And now their tactics start to change just a little bit. Remember, they're the alien. They're here. They've now got to figure this out. They're like, oh, this isn't working anymore. So, they're going to try to figure out what does work. And that's where you need to be very careful. Know them by their fruit. Fruit takes time to develop.   Laura Dugger: (36:35 - 36:45) Okay. Even that term gaslighting, I think it can be hard to understand. Can you give an example of what that would look like in a relationship?   Kris Reece: (36:46 - 37:50) Yeah, absolutely. So, you can go to, let's say, your spouse and you tell them, you know, when you said this to me, it really hurt my feelings. An obvious form of gaslighting could be, I never said that. You're misunderstanding me. Now, a lot of times people become savvy enough to have proof. No, no, no. You did say that. See, it's right here. Well, that's not what I meant. And you should know that. If you were a good Christian, you would know that that's not what I meant. You know that I get a little confused. You know that I mix up my words.   And what they're doing is they're trying to distort your feelings instead of just owning. Wow. I didn't intend to make you feel that way, but I could see that it left an impact on you. They will skirt around all of that. They will make you question yourself. They will even deny, they will flat out deny that they said or did anything.   Laura Dugger: (37:52 - 38:26) And I see where this gets so confusing for the person in relationship with them, because there's extra layers that you talk about and even extra tactics, like pathological lying that are added in there too. Yep. But they will flat out deny it. Yeah. Well, there's also a few more terms that I'd love for you to explain, just because they may come up throughout our conversation this week and next week. So, will you define codependency for us and also reactive abuse and trauma bond?   Kris Reece: (38:27 - 43:41) Oh, absolutely. These are all very powerful and they are issues that can leave. I hate to use the word victim because we may be victimized, but if you're in Christ, you are not a victim. You have a hope and a future. God can meet you and do exceedingly abundantly above what you could ask, hope or think. But codependency, reactive abuse and trauma bonds are all very real and they often travel together. But they're different pieces of the same trap.   So, when we look at codependency, this is where your sense of worth or peace now depends on someone else's mood or approval. It's like saying, if you're okay, I'm okay. If you're not okay, I'm not okay. So, I need you to be okay. Okay. And you start to manage other people's emotions instead of your own. And that's when we start to confuse enabling with loving because at the core of it, we want to feel okay and they're not okay. So, we have to get them okay. And that's where that caring now turns into control.   So, now we get into reactive abuse. This is often very misunderstood because this happens a lot in churches. So, I want you to picture this. You have a married couple. Let's just say he is for the, just for the sake of our conversation. There are, there are a lot of female narcissists out there, but let's just say the male is the narcissist and he is gaslighting and he is abusive at home, but it's borderline. It's like, you know, he's a little insulting. He's a bit harsh. He's not loving. He's not nurturing. But boy, when he's at church, oh, he's everybody's pal. He's serving all the time. So, now when they go to counseling, they're sitting in front of the pastor, and she's got years and years and years of this abuse that has taken place. And she's now reacting to it. She's elevated. She's yelling, she's screaming, she's crying. And guess what happens? He's sitting there cool as a cucumber. I really don't understand. I mean, I know I've not been perfect and that's where the reactive abuse is taking place because she's now reacting to all of those years of manipulation and provocation and now questioning her own sanity because she knows what's going on. So, she's got that, what we refer to as cognitive dissonance going on.   She's like, well, wait a minute, he's done this, saying this, this isn't making sense. I know I'm not losing it, but I feel like I'm losing it. And that's what's taking place. So, she just explodes because she has no idea what's going on. Her sanity is in question right now. So, to that pastor, guess who looks like the problem? She does. So, if you would just react a little bit more gently when he brings something to you, you may not have this problem. And if she's a Christian, she's going to go back and recognize the error of her ways, which that is a problem. You know, we are responsible for how we react, but she's owning now all of it. So, now let's take a step back.   What is reactive abuse? It happens when you finally explode after those long periods of manipulation and provocation. The abuser then points to your reaction as the proof that you are the problem. And that keeps the guilt train going.   The trauma bond is what happens with trauma bonds is they form when your brain gets hooked on the cycles of fear and relief. And we also go back to that cognitive dissonance. We're like, oh, wait a minute. Okay, he's this way one minute and he's this way another minute. So, is he good? Is he bad? I don't, I don't, instead of the brain being able to say, he's both, you've got both of this going on and we need to deal with this. We're trying to put either a bad blanket on it or a good blanket on it. So, we get hooked in these cycles in the relationship. And what we're chasing is that constant good time. Maybe we had a great time at the gala and he was so wonderful. He was even kind to me after we got in the car, and those small moments of kindness start to release the dopamine, and they convince you to stay even though the big picture is you're being hurt long term.   It's like the frog in the boiling pot. They don't even realize it. But the good news, codependency, reactive abuse, and trauma bonds, once you recognize these patterns, you can begin to renew your mind, break the cycle and allow the Holy Spirit to retrain your heart towards peace instead of that counterfeit connection.   Laura Dugger: (43:43 - 44:06) Wow. That is so well summed up. And if somebody is recognizing that they're in that cycle or if they're identifying they're in a relationship with a narcissist, do you have a practical first step as we're starting to wind down our time together today? Anything that they could do before they tune in next week?   Kris Reece: (44:07 - 45:13) Absolutely. So, the first thing you're going to want to do is to release these feelings of shame and bringing this before God. Your time right now with the Lord can be precious and incredibly restorative. My hope would be that we take our focus off of them. Yes, I get it. We're starting to identify. We're recognizing. And all that can be very enlightening. But be careful not to fall into the enemy's trap of now overanalyzing, over fixing, over controlling.   Take this before the Lord and say, “God, what are you trying to do in me?” Because for whatever reason, He's allowed this relationship. For whatever reason, He's not allowing you out of it. There's a lot of work that He's going to want to begin to do in you. And this is not to say this is your responsibility, but I promise you at the end of this road, if you walk this with Him, there will be a life that is beyond your imagination. Whether it's in the relationship or not, I'm not sure, but it will be beyond your imagination.   Laura Dugger: (45:15 - 45:24) Thank you again for sharing the hope, Kris. And where can we go in between these weeks if we want to continue learning more from you?   Kris Reece: (45:25 - 45:43) Oh, that'd be great. I would love if you'd jump on over to my website. It's krisreece.com. That's Kris with a K, Reece with a C. And you're going to find a wealth of content and resources, some of them free resources. And it's also where you can find my new book. It's called Breaking the Narcissist's Grip. Or you can just jump on Amazon for that as well.   Laura Dugger: (45:44 - 46:01) Wonderful. We'll add links for all of that in the show notes for today's episode. And you're familiar that we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge.   And so, as my final question for you today, Kris, what is your savvy sauce?   Kris Reece: (46:02 - 47:06) My savvy sauce is going to be very practical. I'm a really practical gal. And this may sound like a cliche, so I want you to kind of stick with me a little bit, but it has changed my life. And that is practicing the pause. In these difficult relationships, whether you were reactive before or not, you are now. And we want to begin to practice that pause because toxic people really want to dictate the emotional temperature of the conversation.   So, before you respond, before you react, before you decide anything, just one pause. And you got to ask yourself this one question. This is what I do. I say, is this led by peace or pressure? And that question has saved me from countless toxic conversations and impulsive decisions. So, before you respond, pause, because peace is always going to tell you the truth faster than pressure ever will.   Laura Dugger: (47:08 - 47:37) Well, so well said. I love that. And you are, I'm just so grateful that you were called to this work and that you did surrender to the Lord. Here I am. Send me with your book and the way that you're communicating today and all of these resources that you put together. I think a lot of people are going to find healing and hope. And that's my prayer as we conclude our time together. But I'm just very grateful for you, Kris. So, thank you for being my guest.   Kris Reece: (47:37 - 47:41) Thank you. Thank you. It's been such a blessing and an honor. I am so appreciative.   Laura Dugger: (47:43 - 51:25) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

PODCAST INFO:Podcast website: https://yishaifleisher.com/podcastYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/YishaiFleisherTVSUPPORT & CONNECT:Buy Me a Coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/yishaiFight4Israel: https://fight4israel.givecloud.coTwitter: https://twitter.com/YishaiFleisherLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yishaifleisherFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/YishaiFleisher  Support the show

The Doctors, now having done their research on Taylor Frankie Paul's removal from heading up the no-longer-forthcoming season of The Bachelorette, no longer wonder if there is something producers aren't telling us! They describe the video Dakota released (following a trigger warning for domestic violence) during the week TFP's premiere was supposed to drop. Doctors Kay & Ray navigate this mental health & domestic violence living nightmare for TFP, Dakota, and her daughter, let alone all those affected indirectly.REALITY TEST WITH US: Do you think producers had enough information prior to seeing the video from the 2023 incident in question? What is production's responsibility in regards to hiring those in need of immediate mental health care? o-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=OListeners! Come visit the Patreon for free at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (http://patreon.com/RealityTest)  ⁠patreon.com/RealityTest⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (or search on Patreon with “@RealityTest”) & check out some of the benefits of a free membership (early access to the audio episodes!) & the paid tier! For only a MEASLY $5/month, you get the bonus features, including Mental Health Check-Up episodes, the VIDEO episodes, the full audio episode archive, and bonus & behind-the-scenes video content!The first 10 paying members will get shoutouts on the pod & 5 randomly selected members will get a free year of membership after joining! What are you waiting for? Come watch our video episodes, & join us in learning a little something about psych & mental health from our examinations of your favorite reality TV shows, castmates, and tea! O=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-oReality testing is when we check an emotion or thought we're having against objective reality. So, here in Reality Test, we're going to be testing the thoughts, emotions, interactions, and producer antics of reality television against what we know, as licensed psychologists, about objective reality. Come with us, let's Reality Test!Hosts: Dr. Kay & Dr. RayThank you to our sound extraordinaire, Connor!Patreon: patreon.com/RealityTest Linkt.ree/@RealityTestInstagram: @realitytestpodcastThreads: @drkaypodsTikTok: @realitytestpodYouTube Channel: @realitytestpodFacebook Page: Reality Test PodEmail: realitycheckpodding@gmail.com     Dr. Kay: @drkaypods (Insta) & @dr.realitv (TikTok)Dr. Ray: @drraypods (Insta)O=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-o

Why do people stay in abusive relationships?In this episode, I speak with Dr. Peter Salerno, a psychologist and expert in trauma and abusive relationships.We explore what happens psychologically when someone is being abused - from the early signs to the long-term effects on the mind and nervous system.We talk about cognitive dissonance, manipulation tactics like gaslighting and love bombing, and why people can feel trapped even when they know something is wrong.This episode will change how you understand abusive relationships and the people who experience them.Dr. Peter Salerno is a psychologist specializing in trauma, personality disorders, and recovery from abusive relationships.Timestamps: (00:00) Intro - Signs of Abuse (00:48) Confusion and Dissonance (01:30) Nervous System Freeze (03:26) Intuition Versus Gaslighting (06:00) Manipulation Tactics (08:23) Intentional Abuse Explained (12:28) Psychopathy and Empathy (17:15) Who Gets Targeted (20:39) Why Leaving Feels Impossible (22:49) Beyond Romance and Long Term Healing (29:24) Finding Meaning After Trauma (31:14) Shame During Grad School (32:22) When Professionals Invalidate (35:18) Social Media Spreads Awareness (39:07) Are Victims People Pleasers (40:11) Psychopathy and Power (45:39) Spotting Red Flags Early (50:20) First Steps to Get Help (53:39) Where to Learn More (55:02) Advice and Happiness (57:24) Final Thanks and Wrap UpConnect with Nick:Instagram: https://instagram.com/nickbracksWebsite: http://nickbracks.comEmail: contact@nickbracks.comConnect with Peter:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drpetersalerno/Website: https://www.drpetersalerno.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A Note from James:This is why I love doing podcasts—talking to people like Dr. Sheena Howard, author of Why Wakanda Matters. Wakanda is the country where Black Panther is from, and Sheena has written extensively about comics, including work on Black Panther itself.We talk about comics, race, and storytelling. I asked a question I was almost afraid to ask—whether the Black Panther movie was racist against other Black people—and she gave a surprising answer. We also talk about a time she was abducted in Jamaica, along with a lot of other topics.I loved this conversation. Please listen. Episode Description:James sits down with Dr. Sheena Howard—scholar, comic book writer, and Eisner Award winner—for a conversation that moves between pop culture, publishing, and personal survival.They use Black Panther as a lens to examine how stories shape identity, how representation evolves, and why cultural narratives are often filtered through systems that weren't built to support them. Sheena breaks down the tension between nationalism and isolationism in Wakanda, and why audiences interpret the same story in radically different ways.The conversation also goes deeper—into how gatekeeping works in publishing today, how creators can bypass it, and why building your own audience may be the most reliable path forward.And then there's the story she didn't tell for years: being abducted at 19. What happened, why she stayed silent, and what it reveals about psychology, fear, and resilience.This episode is about storytelling—but also about control: who has it, who doesn't, and how to take it back.What You'll Learn:Why “Black superheroes don't sell” is a myth—and how the industry perpetuates it anywayThe real gatekeeping mechanism in publishing today (and why audience ownership matters more than ever)How subtle bias shows up now—not in obvious barriers, but in shifting goalpostsWhat makes a story resonate across audiences (and why Black Panther worked at scale)The psychology of abusive situations—and how awareness and boundaries are built over timeTimestamped Chapters:[03:04] A Note from James[03:53] Favorite Superheroes: From Captain America to Black Panther[04:27] Why Black Panther Connected Culturally[04:43] The $1.2B Question: Why So Late for Black Superheroes?[05:17] Luke Cage, Netflix, and the “Myth” That Black Stories Don't Sell[05:39] Tyler Perry and the “Outlier” Problem[06:23] Pressure on Black-Led Films to Be Perfect[07:00] What Wakanda Represents (Uncolonized Possibility)[07:53] Killmonger: Anger, Oppression, and Relatability[08:23] MLK vs. Malcolm X Parallel in Black Panther[09:00] Identity Formation: African vs. African American Perspectives[09:47] Are Black Superheroes Designed to “Feel Safe”?[10:28] Gentrification, Stereotypes, and Media Influence[11:50] Media Isn't “Just Entertainment”[12:00] Early Representation and Cultural Messaging[12:28] Who Created Black Panther—and Why That Matters[13:07] Rewriting History: What Would She Change?[13:49] Designing a Modern Black Superhero[14:47] Why a Modern Hero Might Be “Invisible”[15:44] Publishing Barriers and Gatekeeping Conversations[16:36] Social Media vs. Traditional Publishing Access[17:26] Building 163K Followers—and Still Not Enough[21:47] The Instagram Post: “I Was Abducted at 19”[22:11] How It Started: Cheap Tour, No Money, Bad Decision[23:05] The Trap: Locked House and Escalation[25:00] Refusal and Survival Strategy[26:02] Car Crash and Escape Attempt[27:00] Walking Away and Getting Home[28:30] Why She Stayed Silent for Years[29:20] Abusive Relationships and Self-Blame[30:26] Leaving Abuse: The Role of Her Son[31:06] Love Bombing and Early Warning Signs[33:02] Recognizing Red Flags in Relationships[35:45] Teaching Kids Boundaries and Self-Worth[37:21] “Is Wakanda Racist?”—The Big Question[38:00] Nationalism vs. Racism Explained[39:00] Isolationism vs. Imperialism[41:00] Why Some Black Superheroes Don't Break Out[43:00] The Loss (and Survival) of Great Storytelling[46:14] How She Got Hired by Marvel (Cold Email + PI)[48:29] Why Pitching Ideas to Marvel Often Fails[50:00] Cold Outreach: Being Seen Before Heard[52:00] Do You Need Social Media to Sell Books? (Yes.)[55:01] Building an Audience vs. Waiting to Be Discovered[56:00] Email Lists: The Real Asset for Writers[59:00] Should You Niche Down or Stay Broad?[01:09:36] Do Podcasts Actually Sell Books?[01:12:00] Why Publishers Don't Care About You (At First)[01:14:18] Choose One: Money, Readers, or Prestige[01:15:10] Quantity vs. Quality Writing Models[01:23:56] Success Beyond the New York Times List[01:24:25] Owning Your IP vs. Writing for Marvel[01:26:18] “Survive the Gap” Concept and Film Project[01:27:00] Turning Ideas Into Franchises[01:28:44] Why Ownership Beats Gatekeeping[01:30:34] What's Next: Hip Hop and ComicsAdditional ResourcesHome | Dr. Sheena C. Howard | Creative EntrepreneurWhy Wakanda Matters by Dr. Sheena HowardBlack Comics: Politics of Race and Representation by Dr. Sheena HowardNina's Whisper by Dr. Sheena HowardMarvel's Black Panther (film)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Last night, President Trump told reporters on Air Force One that he was "demanding" allies provided back up in the Strait of Hormuz and send ships to keep the supply of oil flowing.“If there's no response or if it's a negative response", he warned, "I think it will be very bad for the future of Nato."Keir Starmer's response this morning was clear - the PM insisting that the UK would not be dragged into a wider war. Instead, he's working with European allies on a "viable plan" to ease the crisis. Others have used even stronger language. The Germans have said the war has "nothing to do with NATO". Luxembourg's deputy PM has warned his country won't listen to "blackmail". Italy has rejected Trump's request. Others too, are deciding that they no longer need to pander to the man in the White House.Has Europe reached a fundamental turning point now when it comes to America? Does it see Trump - and his war -as a toxic asset? And how do we navigate lower oil prices in the midst of this geopolitical chaos?The News Agents is brought to you by HSBC UK - https://www.hsbc.co.uk/

In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Brandon Chadwick explores one of the earliest patterns survivors often describe in abusive relationships: boundary testing. Sometimes the first sign something is wrong isn't a fight — it's the moment you say no… and somehow, a little while later, your answer changes. This episode breaks down how these early boundary violations happen, why survivors often go along with them in the moment, and how these seemingly small tests can become the foundation for much larger patterns of control.

On the upside, a tyrannical theocrat and much of his entourage are dead. On the downside, so are thousands of innocent children and adults. As Trump's open-ended and ill-defined Iran adventure unfolds, is it game over for the tattered remnants of the so-called Special Relationship between Britain and the US? Are there any good choices left for Starmer? And is Britain's rah-rah right-wing press fantasising that British people support this war? Plus: after the Greens' win in Manchester is Gorton & Denton Derangement Syndrome driving the legacy parties over the edge? And in a special extended Extra Bit: Dubai Schadenfreude, or: Won't anyone think of the influencers?  ESCAPE ROUTES • Jonn recommends The Lady on ITV.  • Marie recommends Stefan Zweig's Burning Secret • Raf recommends Departure(s) by Julian Barnes.  • Matt recommends Murder Most Foul by Guy Jenkins  www.patreon.com/ohgodwhatnow Presented by Matt Green with Jonn Elledge, Marie le Conte and Rafael Behr. Audio Production by Robin Leeburn. Art direction: James Parrett. Theme tune by Cornershop. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. OH GOD, WHAT NOW? is a Podmasters production. www.podmasters.co.uk  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Send JKO a Text MessageThis International Women's Day special examines how some women manage to rise in spite of difficult and even abusive relationships. JKO highlights the importance of women's support systems, the courage it takes to leave harmful environments, and the quiet strategy some women use to build a path to safety and stability. The episode is both a reflection and an encouragement to women in hard places.Nuggets of wisdom in this episodeThe role of community in helping women survive hard conditions.A grounded explanation of “ajo” and women's informal support systems.The importance of planning for women who cannot move right away.An example of a Canadian woman who used long-term planning to secure a safer future for herself and her children. Safety Note: Please use these ideas in a way that feels right and safe for your situation. For personal support, reach out to someone you trust or a local service in your area. Picture on cover developed in Canva.Support the show If Messy Can't Stop Her blesses or inspires you, please consider supporting it at supportmessycantstopher.buzzsprout.com. Thank you for being part of this journey. If you would love to share your story on the #MessyCantStopHer podcast, click here to let me know. Thank you so much for listening. Music Credit: https://indiefy.me/wanted-carter

Today, on Karl and Crew, we kicked off our weekly theme, “the Power of Prayer,” with a discussion with Dr. Adam Rasmussen about the statistics on sinful behavior in the Christian life. Dr. Rasmuseen is a fellow at the Cultural Research Center and the Dean of the College of Arts and Humanities at Arizona Christian University. We then had Dr. David Clarke join us to discuss recognizing narcissism in marriage and the negative impact of it. David is a Christian psychologist, author, YouTuber, TikToker, and podcaster. His podcast is called Enough is Enough. He has also written several books, including “Enough is Enough: A Step-by-Step Plan to Leave an Abusive Relationship with God’s Help.” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Dr. Adam Rasmussen Interview [23:19] Dr. David Clarke Interview [35:22] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you ever felt lost in conversations where resolution seems out of reach? Have you wondered why every attempt you make to explain is met with roadblocks that leave you even more frustrated? If so, you might be encountering what Annette Oltmans of The Mend Project calls "The Maze of Confusion."  The Maze of Confusion is a strategy used by emotional abusers to derail genuine communication. By weaving a complex web of distractions and dead ends, they prevent meaningful dialogue, leaving their partners overwhelmed and disoriented. Instead of engaging in healthy conversations, these tactics create barriers to understanding and resolution, leading to increased confusion and emotional pain.   In this conversation, Annette and Karla talk about the tactics used to block communication in emotionally abusive relationships from their own experience and from their work with thousands of abuse victims and survivors. Their conversation contrasts unhealthy tactics that prevent resolution with the characteristics of healthy communication that foster understanding and resolution.   This podcast is packed with helpful information that empowers abuse victims and abuse survivors. They need labels for the tactics that are used to control them. They need to understand the motives that drive the abuser's behavior. They need validation to counter the gaslighting and invalidation.      Understanding and navigating this maze can be challenging, but you don't have to do it alone. Annette is the founder of The Mend Project, an organization that seeks to educate, equip, and restore all who are impacted by emotional abuse and train those who interface with them personally or professionally. Please take a moment to review their resources. #confusion  #emotionalabuse  #emotionalabusesurvivor #domesticviolencesurvivors    Resources and Links:    The MEND Project - https://themendproject.com/   Find Clarity and Healing Course - https://themendproject.com/find-clarity-and-healing-course/   "My Journey Through Double Abuse" - interview of Annette Oltmans' story. https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-a4tmz-1004118   "I Was a Covert Emotional Abuser" - Interview of Bucky Oltmans' story  https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-ebkpt-107fd04   Maze of Confusion, Terms and Definitions and Other Free Resources from The MEND Project - https://themendproject.com/resources/   Karla Downing's Classes - https://www.changemyrelationship.com/current-and-upcoming-classes/     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ewZv3bY0tcg

Today, on Karl and Crew, we kicked off our weekly theme, “the Power of Prayer,” with a discussion with Dr. Adam Rasmussen about the statistics on sinful behavior in the Christian life. Dr. Rasmuseen is a fellow at the Cultural Research Center and the Dean of the College of Arts and Humanities at Arizona Christian University. We then had Dr. David Clarke join us to discuss recognizing narcissism in marriage and the negative impact of it. David is a Christian psychologist, author, YouTuber, TikToker, and podcaster. His podcast is called Enough is Enough. He has also written several books, including “Enough is Enough: A Step-by-Step Plan to Leave an Abusive Relationship with God’s Help.” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Dr. Adam Rasmussen Interview [23:19] Dr. David Clarke Interview [35:22] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we kicked off our weekly theme, “the Power of Prayer,” with a discussion with Dr. Adam Rasmussen about the statistics on sinful behavior in the Christian life. Dr. Rasmuseen is a fellow at the Cultural Research Center and the Dean of the College of Arts and Humanities at Arizona Christian University. We then had Dr. David Clarke join us to discuss recognizing narcissism in marriage and the negative impact of it. David is a Christian psychologist, author, YouTuber, TikToker, and podcaster. His podcast is called Enough is Enough. He has also written several books, including “Enough is Enough: A Step-by-Step Plan to Leave an Abusive Relationship with God’s Help.” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Dr. Adam Rasmussen Interview [23:19] Dr. David Clarke Interview [35:22] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we kicked off our weekly theme, “the Power of Prayer,” with a discussion with Dr. Adam Rasmussen about the statistics on sinful behavior in the Christian life. Dr. Rasmuseen is a fellow at the Cultural Research Center and the Dean of the College of Arts and Humanities at Arizona Christian University. We then had Dr. David Clarke join us to discuss recognizing narcissism in marriage and the negative impact of it. David is a Christian psychologist, author, YouTuber, TikToker, and podcaster. His podcast is called Enough is Enough. He has also written several books, including “Enough is Enough: A Step-by-Step Plan to Leave an Abusive Relationship with God’s Help.” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Dr. Adam Rasmussen Interview [23:19] Dr. David Clarke Interview [35:22] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we kicked off our weekly theme, “the Power of Prayer,” with a discussion with Dr. Adam Rasmussen about the statistics on sinful behavior in the Christian life. Dr. Rasmuseen is a fellow at the Cultural Research Center and the Dean of the College of Arts and Humanities at Arizona Christian University. We then had Dr. David Clarke join us to discuss recognizing narcissism in marriage and the negative impact of it. David is a Christian psychologist, author, YouTuber, TikToker, and podcaster. His podcast is called Enough is Enough. He has also written several books, including “Enough is Enough: A Step-by-Step Plan to Leave an Abusive Relationship with God’s Help.” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Dr. Adam Rasmussen Interview [23:19] Dr. David Clarke Interview [35:22] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, on Karl and Crew, we kicked off our weekly theme, “the Power of Prayer,” with a discussion with Dr. Adam Rasmussen about the statistics on sinful behavior in the Christian life. Dr. Rasmuseen is a fellow at the Cultural Research Center and the Dean of the College of Arts and Humanities at Arizona Christian University. We then had Dr. David Clarke join us to discuss recognizing narcissism in marriage and the negative impact of it. David is a Christian psychologist, author, YouTuber, TikToker, and podcaster. His podcast is called Enough is Enough. He has also written several books, including “Enough is Enough: A Step-by-Step Plan to Leave an Abusive Relationship with God’s Help.” You can hear the highlights of today's program on the Karl and Crew Showcast. If you're looking to hear a particular segment from the show, look at the following time stamps: Dr. Adam Rasmussen Interview [23:19] Dr. David Clarke Interview [35:22] Karl and Crew airs live weekday mornings from 5-9 a.m. Central Time. Click this link for ways to listen in your area! https://www.moodyradio.org/ways-to-listen/Donate to Moody Radio: http://moodyradio.org/donateto/morningshowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Luxa https://linktr.ee/LuxaStrata welcomes Aidan Wachter https://www.patreon.com/cw/aidanwachter/home, author of Six Ways, Weaving Fate, Changeling, and more, back to the show to discuss current events and looking forward with the new Black Book hypersigil project, After the Fall, as well to do a Retrospektive lookback at Aidan's time with Thee Temple of Psychic Youth.  Luxa also shares historical context about gamergate, a track from Music for Good: A Mixtape for MN Mutual Aid by Community Aid Network MN (CANMN) https://canmn.bandcamp.com/album/music-for-good-a-mixtape-for-mn-mutual-aid, and an update about The Green Mushroom Project https://greenmushroomproject.com/ and Void House- creating consent centered magical spaces for conducting group work both in person and online, investigating the magical and alchemical properties of consent, and providing consent education to magically inclined people. Thanks for listening to the Lux Occult Podcast! Support the show by helping Luxa buy books and curtail other costs, as well as taking a bibliomancy break by giving on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/luxoccult . Or, Buy Me a Coffee.com is an option for a one time donation: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/luxoccultpod?new=1 We would love to hear from you! Please send your thoughts, questions, suggestions or arcane revelations to luxoccultpod@gmail.com or message on Instagram @luxoccultpod https://www.instagram.com/luxoccultpod/ and on BlueSky https://bsky.app/profile/luxastrata919.bsky.socialCheck out the Lux Occult YouTube Channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCn8n4oQIH1uo08NhMvjjlBMerch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/IlluminIndustriesAidan Wachter on Bluesky https://bsky.app/profile/aidanwachter.bsky.socialBooks by Aidan Wachter https://www.thriftbooks.com/a/aidan-wachter/3469303/Aidan Wachter.com https://www.aidanwachter.com/aboutAfter the Fall by Aidan Wachter https://www.patreon.com/posts/after-fall-black-149530791Music for Good: A Mixtape for MN Mutual Aid by Community Aid Network MN (CANMN) https://canmn.bandcamp.com/album/music-for-good-a-mixtape-for-mn-mutual-aidPoetry by XYZ Arts https://www.xyzartsllc.com/ The Consent Academy https://www.consent.academy/Find Luxa's work published in Serpents of Circe: A Manual to Magical Resilience edited by Laura Tempest Zakroff and Ron Padrón https://revelore.press/product/serpents-of-circe-a-manual-to-magical-resilience/TOPY Grey Book https://www.sacred-texts.com/eso/topy/topybook.txtA Very Brief History of Gamergate, 2012-2016 by Caren Pagel Media Commons.org https://mediacommons.org/imr/content/very-brief-history-gamergate-2012-2016Sounds Like a Cult Podcast: The Cult of Incels (feat. Last Podcast on the Left) https://youtu.be/ZuxTbzZ-D84?si=TbXenjN9vkyPM8YyAmerican Hysteria Podcast: The Art of (Psychological) War with Annalee Newitz https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-of-psychological-war-with-annalee-newitz/id1441348407?i=1000746664238A Bit Fruity w/ Matt Bernstein Podcast: The Incel to ICE Pipeline (with F.D Signifier and Caroline Kwan) https://youtu.be/p8Vf0wcYwOE?si=rsaKDpW-TKAqSQ4bThe Cult of Trump: A Leading Cult Expert Explains How the President Uses Mind Control by Steven Hassan https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Cult-of-Trump/Steven-Hassan/9781982127343Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/289845/why-does-he-do-that-by-lundy-bancroftPDF:  https://archive.org/download/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdfTake Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships by Janja Lalich https://www.lalichcenter.org/take-back-your-life/EYES OF YOUR EYES- Luxa Strata ft. Folds & Floods https://youtu.be/EfdQ-pJEBsgMACHINA ABSTRACTA- Luxa Strata https://luxastrata.bandcamp.com/track/machina-abstractaLux Occult is produced by Luxa Strata. All Rights Reserved. 2026.

You avoid the relationship by avoiding the person and never getting involved in the first place. You must have eyes to see and be willing to accept the truth for what it is. Brokenness leads to blindiness, which has caused millions of people to end up in relationships with people who are no good for them. There are always signs and red flags that people miss or choose to ignore, only to find themselves in abusive relationships that they're afraid to be in and are afraid to leave! Stop allowing your unhealed hearts and minds to lead you into relationships with people you shouldn't of ever allowed into your life! Watch for the signs and red flags and follow your intuition because when you feel something is wrong, it is! As I always say "love isn't blind, people are." People have gotten used to the cliche, "love is blind" not knowing it's just another one of societies wrong views from people who aren't of mindsets to know better. See beyond your eyes, feelings, wants, emotions, and desires. It just may save your life!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/relationships-and-relatable-life-chronicles--4126439/support.

In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Wednesday shares her journey of being groomed into an abusive relationship and the long road toward recognizing manipulation, control, and exploitation. Entering the relationship at a young age, Wednesday was slowly conditioned through attention, affection, and psychological grooming that evolved into isolation, coercive control, and escalating emotional and psychological abuse. What began as seeming care and guidance gradually transformed into domination, fear, and dependency, leaving Wednesday trapped in a cycle of trauma bonding and self-doubt.It's a story of grooming, power imbalances, coercive control, love bombing, trauma bonding, emotional abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, isolation, sexual assault, sexual abuse, sexual coercion, suicidal ideation, intermittent reinforcement, fear-based compliance, shame, guilt, control, intimidation, dependency, financial manipulation, identity erosion, boundary violations, psychological conditioning, cognitive dissonance, self-blame, awakening, rebuilding self-trust, healing, and ultimately, reclaiming autonomy and self-worth. CONTENT WARNING - THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES SEXUAL ASSAULT, SEXUAL ABUSE, SEXUAL COERCION, & SUICIDAL IDEATION.Click if you want to be a guest on our survivor story podcast, please send us an email at narcissistapocalypse@pm.meClick on the title of our blog to read our complete guide to weaponized incompetence.Sign up to our Domestic Violence Newsletter  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, listeners will gain a practical understanding of what abuse is and isn't and the perspectives of women in these situations.

Child and adolescent psychiatrist Dr. Jenna Saul joins Karen Conti and Patrick Dolan to discuss two high-profile domestic violence murder cases with Chicago ties and the major red flags to watch for in a relationship. The first case looks at a lawyer accused of throwing his wife down the stairs of a condo in the […]

Every relationship should have stopping points when you feel yourself slipping away. Emotional abuse operates as a slow drip-feeding of toxic behaviors that gradually erode boundaries.

jchasedavis.comSupport the show!! - https://www.patreon.com/chasedavisGo to ionlayer.com and use code FPT to get $100 off your first kit. Seven Titans Jeans - https://seven-titans.com/discount/PROOFLegacy Profits Club - https://www.skool.com/legacyprofitsclub/about?ref=1b0c2acb5f0d4781be13ed56801c8fbbBuy book here - https://www.newchristendompress.com/revilingwivesFollow David here - https://x.com/DavidEdgingtonSummaryIn this episode, Chase Davis interviews David Edgington about his book 'White Nights and Reviling Wives.' David discusses the background of his writing, the challenges he faced in publishing, and the significant issues surrounding abusive relationships from a biblical perspective. He emphasizes the impact of feminism on families and the role of pastors in addressing these issues, highlighting the need for accountability for both men and women in marital conflicts. The conversation delves into David's journey into counseling, emphasizing the importance of biblical counseling and the challenges faced by pastors in this area. He explains Newthetic counseling, its compassionate approach, and how it addresses issues like anxiety and depression. The discussion also examines the dynamics of marital conflict, particularly regarding reviling wives, and the role of authority in counseling. Edgington critiques the evolution of organizations like CCEF and highlights the need for husbands to lead effectively in their marriages.Support the showSign up for the Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/chasedavisFollow Full Proof Theology on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/fullprooftheology/Follow Full Proof Theology on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/fullprooftheology/

In your abusive relationships, is power over you an illusion? I know it doesn't seem like it is. The abuser exerts control, and it feels impossible to challenge it. You feel stuck, victimized, confused, and powerless. It takes a lot of work to be able to stand up against verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and any other abuse controllers use. One of those things you can begin to do to feel more empowered is to question the abuser's tactics. It helps to consider the basis of the abuser's power and control. If it is only perceived power, you have choices about what to do and how to respond that you didn't know you had. Watch this video to navigate your abusive relationships and find out the answer to this question: Is power over you an illusion? Abuse survivors know the answer, and you need to know it too. #abusiverelationships #power #emotionalabuse #abusesurvivors #controller Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/7zGHKNhHQb0  

In today's narration of Reddit stories, OP says her Mom has a traumatic brain injury and keeps saying that OP is in an abusive relationship even going so far to say that she either chooses her partner or her family.0:00 Intro0:21 Story 13:56 Story 1 Comments6:23 Story 1 Update 110:31 Story 1 Update 213:02 Story 1 Comments / OP's RepliesFor more viral Reddit stories, incredible confessions, and the best Reddit tales from across the platform, subscribe to the channel! I *try* :) to bring you the most entertaining Reddit stories, carefully selected from top subreddits and narrated for your enjoyment. Whether you love drama, revenge, or heartwarming moments, this channel delivers the most captivating Reddit content. New videos uploaded daily featuring the best Reddit stories you won't want to miss!#redditupdate #redditrelationship #redditstoriesreddit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rosie and Robin answer questions about overcoming shyness and social anxiety, doubting your abilities and always thinking you should do better in sports, and how to take care of yourself after an emotionally abusive relationship. Follow Robin ⁠here⁠ or at ⁠Well…Adjusting⁠ and follow Rosie ⁠here⁠.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, Survivor! In today's episode, I break down the “recipe” behind narcissistically abusive relationships: the predictable blend of truth, lies, urgency, flattery, and psychological manipulation that keeps survivors stuck, confused, and doubting their own reality. If you've ever wondered “How did I miss this?”, today's episode will show you the answer: You didn't miss anything — you were intentionally misled. We'll talk about trauma bonding, intermittent reinforcement, and cognitive dissonance… and why highly empathetic, intelligent, trustworthy people are  targeted. You'll learn: The 6 “ingredients” narcissists use to manufacture trust Why mixing a little truth with a lot of lies is so effective How your nervous system gets trained to bond to chaos How to rebuild clarity using Dr. Sears' L.E.A.N. pillars How to reframe shame, take back your power, and ground yourself in truth Whether the narcissist in your life was a partner, parent, friend, coworker, or authority figure — this episode gives you the clarity and validation you deserve. Know who you're dealing with.  Know who you are.