How to Love

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss the end of the road for How to Love. Listen to the rest of episode 60 at patreon.com/howtolove. 

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss breakups, incompatable beliefs, being stuck in a relationship, and seeing abundance during difficult times. Listen to the rest of episode 59 at patreon.com/howtolove. 

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss sharing spaces and chores when partners have dramatically different preferences. Listen to the rest of episode 58 at patreon.com/howtolove. 

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss navigating friendships through different seasons of life. Listen to the rest of episode 57 at patreon.com/howtolove. 

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss Louis CK's most recent comedy special and why freedom is the key to comedic, creative, and life brilliance. Listen to the rest of episode 56 at patreon.com/howtolove. 

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss the need for alone time in a relationship. Listen to the rest of episode 55 at patreon.com/howtolove. 

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss the most toxic love song they've ever heard. Listen to the rest of episode 54 at patreon.com/howtolove. 

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua talk about the fear of missing out on a relationship dispite being happy on your own. Listen to the rest of episode 53 at patreon.com/howtolove. 

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua talk about the best ways to discuss sexual kinks with a new partner. Listen to the rest of episode 52 at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss the misconceptions of falling in love by contrasting The 1975's hit song "I'm in Love With You" with an Dr. Christopher Ryan's essay "What We Fall in When We Fall in Love." Listen to the rest of episode 51 at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss the ill-conceived ideas that people have about new relationships and why those ideas block love. Listen to the rest of episode 50 at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss relationship power dynamics, the difference between power and coercion, and the desire to relinquish power. Listen to the rest of episode 49 at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua take a walk through nature to discuss Joshua's recent resolution to be more wiggly without renouncing his rigidity. Listen to the rest of episode 48 at patreon.com/howtolove

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss an absurd self-help comment from TikTok, the difference between commitment and devotion, the privilege of spending time apart, and more. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss the boundaries of their "monogamish" relationship, the primacy of honesty, why the obligation can kill chemisty, balancing novelty with security, and the openhearted negotiation of interests without giving ultimatums. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss how glowing screens interrupt real-life connections, the staggering statistics regarding texting during sex, and the tech hygiene they personally use to keep phones from interrupting their relationships. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss shifting perspectives of time, being present within any given experience, sharing flow-state experiences with your partner, and continuing to see each other over the years. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss the concept of relationship fasting, when distance between partners can be nourishing, why relational feasting eliminates desire, and how embracing distance allows each partner to evolve.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss having sex with a germaphobe, unreasonable sex requirements, and establishing boundaries that encourage sexual spontaneity. Plus Bex shares a sex PSA from her college boyfriend's father.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua talk about living without mobile phones, the folly of relying on significant others during an emergency, and learning to be unavailable for periods of time. 

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua stumble upon a hilarious dating profile. They discuss why it's important to present a truthful but light-hearted version of ourselves when dating new people. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua talk about maintaining intimacy while dealing with a chronic illness, broadening the definition of sex, and the protective barriers that block intimacy. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss Bex's nipple piercings, whether she'd get them again, and their recent experience at a nude beach. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss the song "That Was The Real You," by Mat Kearney and why it unexpectedly made Bex cry during recording. And in a twist of their usual private episode segment called "Terrible Love," they interpret the song and share how they both have learned to love again through their relationship. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss why they won't be living under the same roof full-time despite recently purchasing a home together, why they both cherish their alone time, and how they anticipate navigating their introverted needs with their daughter being in California during the school year. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss moving from fear to love; they also discuss why acceptance, control, and safety are the primary aspects of a fear-based mindset. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss the bliss and budens of "new relationship energy," why lust disapates during periods of prolonged presence, and several ways to cultivate independence. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.  

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss the simple foods they eat most frequently, how humans have made eating unnecessarily complex, midset shifts to avoid boredom even when on a highly restrictive diet, seeking deep nourishment, and JFM's framework of "will I be glad I ate this tomorrow?" Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.  

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss ending a relationship mindfully, the downside of compassion in a divorce, graduating from past relationships, and the inevitability of conflict in corrosive relationships, and they introduce the concept of "emotional bricks." Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.  

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss missmatched libidos, being flexible when it comes to meeting each other's sexual needs, and how health dramatically affects sex drive and overall vitality. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss why they prefer to spend very little time with other people, how they prioritize showing up for others as "the best version of themselves," the best time to discuss expectations, and when to distance yourself from someone; plus Bex talks about being a "hot house plant." Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss keeping their connection alive after seven years, being comfortable with your partner, and actively working to avoid complacency so that you don't take your partner for granted. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss embracing physical distance to increase attraction, how close proximity decreases physical interest, why redefining sex can drive sexual tension, and their willingness to renegotiate norms and routines around sex. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss their reading preferences, Joshua's love of fiction, their favorite authors, and they share a few book, essay, and memoir recommendations. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss the fulfillment of fantasies; the conflation of "love," "like," and "lust"; and loving someone even if they can't fulfill your personal fantasy. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss "only-child criticism," why needing validation and acceptance is a prison, what "real" parenting is, letting go of the impulse to have a mom-tribe, and being disinterested in commiserating. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss finding enjoyment during sex even when you're stuck in your head; the empowering and disempowering stories we tell ourselves about sex, self-esteem, and relationships; and exploring non-traditional solutions to sexual incompatibility. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss why it's perfectly fine to be superficial, why superficiality isn't wrong or bad, and why a superficial person doesn't necessarily lack of depth. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss the role of self-love in intimacy, finding perfection, noticing how we've been programmed to be dissatisfied with ourselves, and more. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss what passion is; the enormous differences between commitment, obligation, and devotion; and how our tolerance of suffering may change. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss spending time together versus time alone, the fallacy of "the one," allowing our partner's autonomy, working through insecurity, and defining expectations. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss untangling feelings, freedom, and love. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss sexual awkwardness, the desire for novelty, the effects of monogamy on testosterone levels, and why reunion sex is often the best. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua talk about viewing sex as a way to bring pleasure to your partner even when you don't desire it yourself, removing expectations and entitlement around sex, approaching sex with a playful attitude, and options for when you and your partner have fundamentally different sexual needs. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua talk about mediocre relationships, Bex's personality, what people want in a relationship, and why it's important to understand what you're willing to tolerate. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua talk about parental selfishness, the idea of "your body, your choice," the real price of having kids, and how an evolution of beliefs can lead to incompatibility in a relationship. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua talk about how being a new parent inevitably changes other relationships, why expectations are tied to being offended, having too much of a good thing, asking for space, and approaching difficult conversations with an open heart. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss the Myer's Briggs personality assessment and its limitations, introversion and extroversion in relationships, future-focused people, present-focused people, parental compersion, and being "deep happy" instead of "shallow happy." Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss decision making between logical and intuitive people, whether persuasion is coercion with a nicer name, being respectful, the wisdom of intuition, and the limitations of intellectual understanding. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss being in love, being loving, seeing things as they are instead of how we wish they were, how chemistry can get muddled by hormonal birth control, and how love is never defective, controlling, or conditional. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.

In this public episode of How to Love, Becca and Joshua discuss past and present relationships, seeing each other afresh, the dangers of living in the past, the difference between attention and awareness, how they appreciate challenging seasons, and more. Listen to full episodes at patreon.com/howtolove.