It's Not Personal

In this episode, Ken and Seth dive deeply into the process of protecting culture by thinking not only of the people you're working with, but also about the various people who will be coming after. How are we making changes that will positively impact those who come next? What does it take to protect the culture and build honest and open connections in your organization? You need to deal with the problems that are happening in this moment with an eye to what kind of organization you want moving forward. What does it take to look at a hard problem or a behavior that you don't like, and have the courage to face it head on?

In this episode, Ken and Seth talk about how being in a leadership role can feel isolating and lonely. It's important for leaders to understand how isolating leadership can feel at times. In many ways, nobody else in the organization can understand what it feels like to be in your shoes. All the ways that you might have connected with others before become limited when you are in charge. In this podcast, Ken and Seth share their own experiences and thoughts on how leaders can deal with this loneliness and their feelings of disconnection in organizations. What do we do when we feel thwarted by others in the org? What do we do with the anger or the feelings of disappointment? How do we take risks and invite others to follow along? All of this takes a willingness to be with your own feelings and to know that being a leader requires you to be on your own sometimes.

In this episode Ken and Seth talk about the tension between self-doubt and self-confidence in leadership. How do we work with that interplay of self-doubt and imposter syndrome and maintain the presence of a leader. We have to learn to trust ourselves and have confidence that we belong in this role and earned our right to be here. It's unhelpful to doubt ourselves as leaders because all it does is create a corrosive environment for others. Doubt about our abilities is good, but doubt about our right to be here is not. Trust yourself, know yourself, and be willing to grow.

In this episode Ken and Seth talk about the ways that work has developed over time and what it is that we are all being asked to do each day. What is it that we are being asked to do most of the days and how is that time that we are spending helping the company move forward? How do we get better at working with a distributed organization? How do we get better at coordinating and motivating people towards a shared goal? In what ways do we need to be more disciplined and direct in our communication so that people can be more successful? What is the "theater" of work and how are some gestures and ways of communicating meaningful to the culture and success of a group? Think of ceremonies and rituals that allow for people to be more successful by making them feel more connected and a "part of" a group. Being more intentional with the theater of work and knowing what matters most will help engagement and satisfaction with the work itself. The more disciplined and mindful everyone is in how they are focusing on connecting and moving forward, the more successful the organization can become.

In this episode, Ken and Seth talk about what it takes to create a safe space for the up and coming leaders of tomorrow. What does it mean to be the kind of leader you might have needed when you were coming up in career. There's a tendency to make choices and play games with boundaries that might make things more convenient in the moment but could have negative impacts down the line. The courage to say the hard things now and have the difficult conversations will help to create a safer space for your team and your organization in the future. What does it take to show up in this way? Why do we need to create psychological safety?

In this episode Ken and Seth talk about the importance of introspection and reflection on the success of leadership. When we take the time to be curious and reflect on ourselves and how we are impacting those around us, we can learn so much about how we are being received by others.What can you learn about yourself and your team when you take the time to be curious and process what's going well, where we are, and what needs to happen? More than you can imagine.

In this episode, Seth and Ken talk about the ways that emotions impact a leader's ability to connect, motivate, and facilitate the success of a team. The more aware you are as a leader about what you're feeling and how those feelings impact your communication, the more effective you can be as a leader. Check in with yourself and get clear on what's going on with you and who you're being in the moment. It's okay to know that you're having an off day. It's not okay to let that feeling be spread unconsciously into the world. Take the time to pay attention to yourself and what's happening to you and you will be more effective.

It takes courage to be clear, honest, and vulnerable in your words. In this episode, Ken and Seth talk about what it takes to share clearly what you're feeling and what's going on for you, without needing your audience to trust you. Trusting your audience builds trust. When you come in with clear intentions and a clear vision, you get a better chance to motivate and inspire. Be the kind of leader who is willing to be a real human being and communicate with courage with their team.

How do you create a culture of safety and support in your community and organization? What does it take to cultivate people's courage to speak up and say what they need you to hear? In this episode Ken and Seth talk through various ways to create a sense of safety and openness in your team and community. It's a challenging tension to balance between not wanting people to hide and also not wanting people to just complain and criticize. Ken talks about ways that he invites people to ask any question they want and he will try to answer it as honestly as he can. The goal is to create the intent of bringing people together and allowing them to connect with each other and to the overall goals of the organization. Clear communication is one important way to eliminate uncertainty and create better boundaries.

In this episode, Ken and Seth talk about the importance of vulnerability to being a real person in leadership and having a better impact, but to be aware of not overusing vulnerability. We want to be real and vulnerable, but we don't want to overshare. When we offer too much personal information, we can overburden our people with our own problems. While it's important to show your feelings and share your perspective, you don't want your team to feel like they have to take care of you. Understanding your own boundaries and the boundaries of your team will keep everyone safe. The goal is not to force anyone into sharing personal information or to manipulate people's emotions, rather it's about building trust and creating a space of growth and trust.

How do your beliefs impact the way that you lead? In this episode, Ken and Seth talk about how core beliefs can and will impact the ways that we communicate and lead. Belief systems are both powerful and dangerous. Can you set your own beliefs aside to see more clearly and make space for other voices? How are your beliefs possibly driving your actions and how are they getting in the way of you hearing the truth?

What does it mean to be authentically yourself? How do we show up as leaders with vulnerability?Ken and Seth talk about the ways that leaders can learn to drop their masks enough to inspire and engage their teams. The leader of any group, team, or organization has the opportunity to model what it's like to be uncomfortable with being real. Everything in tech and in business will have difficulty with leading through change if they aren't willing to give up on perfectionism and the illusion that they need to know what to do next.Get honest about what you're struggling with, as long as you aren't needing the team to take care of you, and you will earn people's trust and honesty.

Ken and Seth talk about what it took to put together episode 3 and all the weird turns and pitfalls that happened this past year. As the saying goes, "man makes plans and God laughs."In this episode, Ken and Seth sum up the ideas behind this season (the desire for leaders who are real and authentic) and they talk about dealing with disappointment and mistakes with a sense of humor.

In this final episode of season 2, Ken and Seth discuss the value of touching into our own ambition and our relationship to it. Perhaps you have something inside of you that wants to be expressed, and it's important that you take the time and the energy to express that thing. Toxic ambition is about thinking that you're inherently a better human being than someone else. Positive ambition is in believing that we can be better at who we are and how we do things. It takes ambition to achieve great things in this world, and we need solid leaders who are willing to do this work collaboratively and with humility. Read more about us at https://www.itsnotpersonal.net/episodes or https://sethrigoletti.com/its-not-personal/

In this episode, Ken and Seth talk about the value of feedback and how it can change your life. The three types of feedback that are most common are appreciation, coaching, and evaluation. It's so important to be clear on what you want to hear and how you want to hear it. Thanks for the Feedback, by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen. The gift of feedback is when you can be specific and help the receiver understand themselves a little more. Find out more at https://www.itsnotpersonal.net/ or at https://sethrigoletti.com/

What if you could manage your worry and the worry of your team more effectively by both planning and trusting that you will figure it out? The ability of leaders to meet the worries and concerns of their teams with compassion and a sense of purpose makes the difference between a team that is built on self trust or one that's based on fear and control. Ken and Seth talk about how leaders can learn to trust themselves and build trust in their teams by doing a better job of managing their own worries and concerns. Self trust and trust in your teams are the two most important components of a good culture. As usual, Ken and Seth talk about how vulnerability is the path forward to this.

We can train ourselves to be more comfortable with discomfort and get more out of our own experiences and the experiences of those around us. Being a leader means being uncomfortable most of the time. If you are avoiding that discomfort or if you're trying to manage your team away from discomfort, then you're going to create problems for yourself and others. In this episode, Ken and Seth dive deep into the ways that leaders can lean into change and discomfort with their teams and their organizations.

In this episode Ken and Seth talk about the value of accepting that a career does not have to follow a straight path. Perhaps, it's even better if it doesn't. Ken shares how many of the successful people he works with in IT don't even have a computer science background. As a leader, you can provoke your team to think different about their own career path and how they might be able to support people to discover their talents. Whenever we think that careers have to go in a specific direction, we might be limiting ourselves from seeing opportunities as they appear.

In this episode, Ken and Seth talk about the importance of treating your teams, your employees, and your managers like adults so that they behave like adults. When we treat people like children, they tend to behave like children. When asked why he's willing to let his team decide whether to work remotely or come into the office, he says, "I have a fundamental principle, I only hire adults." Ken and Seth share their perspective on what it takes to build a culture of adults and cultivate an organization that's mature and responsible.

How do you feel about conflict? What does it mean to be a "tough boss?" How do we hold ourselves accountable and why?It's important to bring feedback to people that removes the personal out of it. Why? It's because when we feel judged, we tend to shut down. Even so, it's crucial that leaders see the people who worked for them. The more you see them, the easier it is to motivate them and to help them improve how they develop. Being a "tough boss" isn't about being a jerk, rather it's about being clear, direct, and honest.

Can we find the fun and the spontaneity in our work? What would it look like if people were willing to use a little playfulness in their job? Ken shares how he uses humor and playfulness with his group, and how these things help to create engagement and develop relationships. Sometimes little things like turning presentation slides into a game of finding little hidden jokes for his Executive Leadership Team.The more confident the organization is, the safer that they feel, the easier it will be to have fun and express ideas with honesty and humanity. Any job, no matter how great it is, can become monotonous or boring if it doesn't have some spontaneity and joy.

Can we be in competition with each other while also wanting each other to be successful? Want does it take to create a culture that celebrates the pursuit of excellence without the pursuit of the ego? In this episode, Ken and Seth talk about the value of healthy competition in an organization and the negativity of unhealthy competition. When your sense of success is dependent on the idea that your victory has to come at someone else's cost. As leaders, it's important to recognize that you get the behaviors that you incentivize and if you reward ego-driven, competitive behavior, you will get a culture where people feel like enemies, not rivals. Learn how to foster a collaborative environment and culture as a leader, and what it takes to encourage rivalries without creating enemies.

Culture is basically just a set of behaviors and expectations that we have for the people in our organization. In this episode, Ken and Seth talk about how you can influence culture and motivate change even in a hybrid situation. When we are aware of the anxiety that we have about whether our teams are actually doing the work, we can get much clearer about the ways that we want to measure and hold people accountable. What do you do to measure success in a culture that believes that you've hired the right people for the right position. The goal is to create a resilient culture and to do that leaders must model behavior that shows self-trust and trust of others without ignoring what isn't working for the team.

What is a leader's job when you get right down to it? Is it just to have meetings and make decisions? Or is it about helping other people be successful? Yes, there are other things that you're expected to do, but your role as a people-leader (no matter what you do for the company) is to help people be successful. Ken and Seth talk about how leaders can see themselves as having the power to lift others up to see themselves as being more successful and to grow.

Leadership isn't always about position power. Often times it's about the ability to influence beyond your sphere of control. In this episode, Ken and Seth talk about the various ways that a leader can influence a culture and bring along peers and management so as to see different perspectives. The more aware you are of what you're trying to say and how people's emotions work, the easier it is to make an impact. Find out more at www.intsnotpersonal.net

This episode is the culmination of the various topics that we've talked about throughout these podcasts, which ultimately leads to a workplace that's more human and more open. When we make it okay for people to surface problems or concerns, then we make it an environment for them to engage with and work through problems or issues that they may have. The greater the psychological safety, the greater the trust. Ken and Seth talk about the norms and expectations that we can create in a team or an organization that allows us to use difficult conversations to become better. Find out more at https://www.itsnotpersonal.net/ or at https://sethrigoletti.com/

What does it take to turn a group of people into a team? There's a difference between having a group of individuals that work and communicates well together, versus having a group of individuals who have to coordinate and collaborate on a project. In this episode, we talk about how to create a culture of teamwork, trust, and shared purpose. What could we learn about collaborative teamwork from a Jazz band? We all know what the goal is, but we all might interpret how to contribute in our own ways. Find out more about Ken and Seth at https://www.itsnotpersonal.net/ or at https://sethrigoletti.com/its-not-personal/

We all feel self-doubt in our work and especially as leaders, but it's important to recognize that it's never helpful. Self-doubt fundamentally questions the value of who you are, whereas doubt of our ability can sometimes be helpful, doubting that you're enough gets in the way. Whenever we put our value as a human being in doubt, we make it harder for others to trust and work with us. Listen in as Ken and Seth discuss the various ways that we try to hide our weaknesses in order to stay safe, and the power of accepting ourselves fully for who we are. To find out more about Ken and Seth, go to https://www.itsnotpersonal.net/ or https://sethrigoletti.com/

What is different between being sorry and being accountable? Listen to Ken talk about the advice he gives his team about sorry. When we apologize too often, we forget to be accountable for our own actions and instead feel responsible for other people's feelings. Be aware of how you use "Sorry" and the impact it has on those around you. It can steal authority, create a sense of blame, and a distance in the relationship. For more information, you can check us out at itsnotpersonal.net or sethrigoletti.com

The power of story in communication, influence, and collaboration. Ken shares a little bit about how he's used storytelling in his own work as a CIO, and together we talk about how humans are able to better understand information when it's in story form. Just knowing the data isn't enough. We can also learn how we see ourselves as characters in our own stories, and how difficult it is to see clearly when you're stuck in a victim, villain, hero framework. We have to put the information within a framework of a story if we want people to be able to absorb it and understand it. For more information, check us out at itsnotpersonal.net or sethrigoletti.com

The difference between waiting for someone to finish speaking and actually listening to what they're saying. When we listen to someone, really listen to them, we give them our whole presence, which can not only build trust, but also help solve relationship conflict. Ken and Seth discuss the value of listening with the intent to understand rather than to be understood. How listening can broaden our understanding of a problem and open us up to diverse solutions. Open your heart and your mind. More information at itsnotpersonal.net or sethrigoletti.com

What's the impact on a team when you're willing to have a gratitude practice at work? Invite people to be vulnerable and human, while also being grateful for the opportunities that we have. Appreciation and gratitude for your peers and your team can be so helpful in creating space for people to feel more like themselves. Show up for each other in a way that's authentic and respectful. What if you just let people know how much you appreciate them for what they do. It's amazing the impact we can have on each other when we take the time to recognize and be grateful for those with whom we work. Check us out at https://www.itsnotpersonal.net/episodes (It's Not Personal) website or at sethrigolett.com If you enjoyed this podcast, you can help us out by subscribing, leaving a comment, or sharing us on social media.

What does it mean to respect someone? How powerful is it to a culture and company when we take the time to give people their "due regard." When we respect other people's point of view and experience, we have an opportunity to learn more about them and about how the world can be perceived. In this podcast we talk about the various ways that we can use respect as a tool to connect, build trust, and make space for others. What assumptions and barriers are we bringing to a conversation and an interaction with our colleagues? How do those assumptions get in the way of giving people their due regard. Find out more at https://www.itsnotpersonal.net/ or https://sethrigoletti.com/

Have you ever had one of those moments in your life when you knew that you were about to make a decision that would change your life forever? In this episode, Ken and Seth share their moments when they woke up to a new way of looking at their careers and themselves at work. What's your moment? How have you had to change or how has your view on yourself and your work shifted over the years? Listen in to hear the ways that we can all look for paradigm shifts and perspective changes in our lives. Check us out at https://www.itsnotpersonal.net/team-3 or at https://sethrigoletti.com/

In this episode, we talk about the ways that we can become dependent on the various technologies to do our thinking for us. Whether it's communication through email, Slack, PowerPoint or even the telephone, it's important that we stay intentional in what we want to say and how we're impacting others. There are a lot of great tools out there which make our work easier, but they aren't a replacement for intentional communication and connection. For more information about Ken Grady and Seth Rigoletti, see https://www.itsnotpersonal.net/ or https://sethrigoletti.com/ New episodes each week. If you enjoy this podcast, please leave a comment and share it on social media.

How meetings are misunderstood, misused, and maligned. What if we were more intentional in how we used them as an organization and saw them as a tool for communication and connection? Listen to CIO Ken Grady and Leadership coach Seth Rigoletti talk about the different ways that we can think about how to use people's time and how to communicate with a sense of purpose. Find out more at https://www.itsnotpersonal.net/ or check out information about Seth Rigoletti at https://sethrigoletti.com/

Why do we get so upset when we have to collaborate with other people? Often times we become fixated on the personality that we come up against and forget to see the person or the human being underneath. When we're able to put our biases aside and not take other people's actions personally, we have a chance to communicate with them in a clear and meaningful way. Great leadership comes when we are clear about what's going on and how we work together. Everything gets messy when we focus too much on judging people as having the "right or wrong" persona.

How do we onboard, engage, communicate, and lead in the 21st century of work? How do we learn to be helpful to each other and see each other as human beings, without getting our egos in the way? Join Ken Grady, CIO and Seth Rigoletti, Leadership Coach, as they talk about the many ways that leaders can help teams collaborate, individuals grow, and people be their awesome selves. To make work more human, you have to take the ego out of leadership. When you do this, you have a chance to create a workplace that is about both excellence and psychological safety.