Living Sober Sucks, But Living Drunk Sucks More.

Logically, after almost 11 years of complete sobriety this shouldn't still suck. But many thoughts and emotions aren't founded on logic. The title may sound a little dark, but I wanted to share this. I hear from a lot of people who feel the same way. I think it's okay to feel this way. And even though I illogically feel that it still sucks, I know for certain that my life is factually far better as a non-drinker. I hope you find this podcast interesting. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Most of the attention is usually placed on the person doing the recovering. But the unsung hero is the person or people doing the supporting. The supporter plays an extremely important role in the success of a recovery effort. What’s the best way to offer support? I offer a few ideas in this podcast. Please check it out. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

We all lead busy lives, but have you ever thought about the difference between Good Busy and Bad Busy? Many of us invest too much of our valuable time into the act of being Bad Busy. Have a listen to this podcast to hear the difference between the two. I hope this podcast motivates you to avoid getting involved and overwhelmed by Bad Busy and start focusing your time and your life on being Good Busy. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Do you need to take a test, fill out a questionnaire or consult a therapist to determine if your drinking behavior is problematic? I don’t think it's necessary. You may not have a "genuine" heavy drinking problem, but your drinking habit may be distracting you from getting the most out of your time and your life. Please listen to this brief podcast and decide for yourself. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Is it a good idea to lie to someone when they first sober up? Should you tell them that this will be the best thing they ever do or should you tell them, "I don't know how this will turn out?" You don't want to deflate their effort, but you don't want to outright lie and give them false expectations. This podcast will give you some ideas of how to address these tough questions. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Your mind is quite capable of finding a reason to drink or do drugs. Temptations exist every day. Temptations aren’t bad, taking action on those temptations is bad. You can’t always control life, but YOU CAN control many temptations from ever presenting themselves. What is really at the root of temptation? Have a listen to this podcast and decide if you agree with me. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

What is the ultimate power trip for you? Is it driving fast? Being in control of other people? Running a business? I personally feel that the ultimate power trip is self-control, and it's something you can experience every day, multiple times a day. You can have total control over substances, but that's providing you have the self-control to NOT put a substance into your bloodstream. The only time you become powerless to a substance is AFTER you've willingly ingested it. I give an example by comparing laxatives to alcohol. Once either one is in your stomach you have no control over what it will do to your bodily functions. Please check out this podcast. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

This is often a curious question to ask yourself. We all want something, but does getting what we want bring about the happiness we so desire? I believe that there are better questions to ask such as, "Why do you want something and what do you hope the end result will bring about?" Do you really want to live completely sober and what do you want out of sobriety? What do think the results of sobriety will be? It's important to ask "Why" you want something and "What outcome" you're hoping for. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

The best way to get you feeling better about yourself is to help someone else. Every day you have opportunities to help other people and doing so will help YOU feel better with your sobriety. A big part of living a normal life as a non-drinker is by NOT always being focused on being a non-drinker. When you help other people you will think more about them and less about having to stay sober. Helping other people will get you thinking about other subjects than always thinking and talking about sobriety. Please take the time to check out this podcast. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Two people can witness the exact same thing but remember it in different ways. Memories change over time. Good memories are what we live for. Bad memories are meant to be avoided. But bad memories can also hold you back. Check out this podcast to discover ways to keep your memories in check. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

I believe that people don't always communicate their message as well as they think they do. Have you ever heard yourself saying, "This idiot just doesn't get it." There are a few simple ways to make sure other people understand and grasp what you’re trying to say. This podcast will offer you ideas on how to make sure that your intended message is received correctly. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

When people think about what an “alcoholic” looks like, most will visualize the stereotypical bar floozy or unshaven guy sleeping on a park bench or dozing next to a dumpster. But alcoholics come in all different shapes, colors, genders and religions, and many show no outward indication of being an alcoholic. So let me tell you about an alcoholic. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

How much would you pay yourself if you worked for you? Well you are working for YOU when you punch out, log off or leave your workplace for the day. If you were a boss, would you want to pay someone to sit around and drink? Would you pay someone to sit around and watch TV? Would you pay someone to simply sit around? You are your own boss with your own time, and your time is valuable. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

I believe that people don’t really want to quit drinking. What they REALLY WANT are the results of living sober. That’s okay. We all want results without having to do a lot of work. Again, that’s okay. Wanting the most and the best with the least amount of effort put forth is thinking in terms of efficiency. This podcast will give you ideas on how to rearrange your words so you have reasons for quitting drinking. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

I was emailed a question from someone and they were wondering if my perspective on drinking has changed through my latest years of sobriety. As I was answering this question, I not only realized that my perspective on drinking has changed but of more importance is that my perspective on living has changed. This has been one of my most read blog articles to date. Please have a listen to the podcast. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

When you stop drinking and doing drugs you’ll suddenly have unspent money in your pocket. What are you going to do with that money? How will you reward yourself? Will you be tempted to go spend it on booze or drugs and start the ravenous cycle all over again? Have a plan on what to do with all the money you’ll be saving. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Truly the best words of advice I have ever heard were, "Don't make the same mistake twice." This is applicable in business, investing, sports, relationships, life and with sobriety. But all too often this advice is taken too literally and if people "fail" at one thing they never try again. Don't shy away from failures, learn from them. True, don’t make the same mistake twice, but maybe a different approach will be successful? http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Imagine that you and I go to the gym and your goal is to lose weight, but all you do is sit there and watch ME exercise. Do you honestly believe that you’ll lose weight by just watching me and thinking about exercising? Of course not. YOU have to do the work yourself. Living sober is the same. You will have to do the work yourself. We can do it together, support and push each other along, but YOU will have to get on the treadmill and do the work. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

In this podcast I present more questions than answers. The idea behind being "anonymous" is to allow a person to be open and honest without embarrassment or public exposure. However, anonymity can also lead to dishonesty and poor behavior. Creating an "anonymous" persona may allow some people to live in a world of delusion where they can be whoever or whatever they want to be. Name disclosure may help with personal responsibility. But how about you decide for yourself? http://LivingSoberSucks.com

It is often said that you can't put a value on love, friendship, happiness or sobriety. Why not? If you have no way of establishing or referencing "what it's worth" you may not value something as highly as you should. You may also pay too much for something. Sobriety may be "invaluable," but it's also nice to have a Sobriety Savings Account and be able to say, "My sobriety is worth $14,827.00 to me." Have a listen to this podcast and you'll get an idea of what I mean. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

How are you helped when you talk about all the bad and wrong things you've done as a drunk? There is value in acknowledging your errors, working at restitution where required and stopping bad behavior. I'm a big proponent of expanding your Mental Health by doing more of what you're good at and more of what you do right instead of ruminating over the things you've done wrong. I hope this podcast lifts you up, and gets you thinking about what you are good at. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Biologically our brains are designed to seek rewards and avoid pleasure. I don't believe you need a degree in neurology or psychology to figure that out. Why do we do anything? To get a reward (pleasure, immediate gratification), or to avoid pain (physical pain, emotional pain, loss). These are natural, normal human drives. I share some excerpts from my book: Okay, I quit. Now what? in this podcast. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Every recovery system works 100%, until your next drink or use. "Success" statistics can be misleading. The only statistic that really matters is whether it works for YOU. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

This podcast isn't about computers; it's about human operating systems, but there's an interesting parallel. Mac and Windows computers perform many of the same functions. Either will give us the same outcome, but they do it on completely different operating systems. People are a lot like that. We all seek the same outcomes: Happiness, security, pleasure, contentment. And we each use different operating systems for getting the outcome we desire. We can share among each other by using bridging systems. Accepting that we all use different systems, and then bridging the gaps can bring us closer together and reduce prejudice. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Familiarity can be dangerous. When you become "too comfortable" with a situation you can become lazy towards it. It happens in relationships, with money, jobs, cars, homes and sobriety. Complacency can result in losing things. Losing a relationship, money, job, car or home. It's interesting that we will often work harder to regain or retain something we are about to lose than we had worked to get it in the first place. Small efforts can stave off complacency. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

People will always find a way to do something if they really "want to." When I was a drunk I always found a way to get my hands on beer, booze or dope. I've taken that same concentrated tenacity and use it towards accomplishments now. If you really don't want to do something then don't say it. Avoid using excuses and speak about reasons. When you express reasons you might discover ways to overcome or get around the reasons. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Drunk, stoned or sober, we are not the same person TODAY that we were 5 years ago. Changes take place ever so slowly that we may not notice them. But count on it, you will change. The question is: Will you evolve or devolve? As usual in my podcasts, I don't just dole out advice; I ask you to think about your own life and make decisions of your own. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Making excuses is not exclusive to drunks and drug addicts. Sober people use excuses all the time. There's a big difference between a reason and an excuse. Learn to think and speak in terms of reasons to get a better understanding of your own behaviors. When you understand the reasons behind a behavior you often have no more excuses. You can then decide whether you want to take some sort of action or not. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

What you pretend to be makes a big difference not only in how others see you and treat you, but how you feel about YOURSELF. Is it ever wise to adapt an image just to please others? You don't have to be fake or superficial, but sometimes we must (and do) present ourselves as being something we are not. "Fake it til you make it," is the old recovery axiom. We will often live "up to" or "down to" the image we project of ourselves. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Actions are supposed to speak louder than words right? But what you think and what goes on in your mind precedes your actions. Thoughts and actions work in collaboration. Sometimes action comes first, sometimes thoughts come first. It's easy to let your thoughts spiral out of control and propel your actions. Small actions can change your thinking in a positive way which can then propel you into more positive actions. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

As former drunks/addicts we do have the ability to rebuild our brain. Brain Plasticity is when regions rebuild and other specific regions begin performing tasks outside of their intended purpose. This doesn't happen automatically---you must actively exercise and challenge your mind. Hear how nontraditional pathways of expressing yourself may lead to better outward communication for you. This podcast/article isn't laden with dry medical and anatomical terms. I hope you find it entertaining and mentally stimulating. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Quite possibly the hardest part of staying sober isn't simply staying sober, the hardest part is accepting some of the harsh realizations about how your own life, relationships and behaviors will change. It isn't that sobriety sucks, it's that living in a world filled with booze and drugs while staying clean and sober can suck (at times). In this podcast I share a little of what has and has not worked for me. As usual in my podcasts, I ask you to think about your own life and make decisions of your own. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

As much as we would like to and as hard as we try, the reality is that we can't save everyone from themselves. The only way to save some people from themselves is to lock them in a cage or keep them on a leash. Is that the right thing to do? Your first concern is to save yourself then let others see you living well. Let them ask you how you do it. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Life is filled with lies but they're not all bad lies. This is Part 1 of a 2-Part podcast. We'll take an honest look at what are the most common lies: Self-deception, mutually agreed upon lies and more. How do you react when you discover these lies? You can play along with the lies, become bitter or do what you believe is the right thing to do. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

What is "happiness' to you? Do you think you can ever find it? I present some quotes and thoughts on happiness, then ask you to do some thinking on your own. Maybe you don't have any valid reasons to be unhappy? So why not be happy? http://LivingSoberSucks.com

How do handle the lies you're told? How do you handle the lies you tell to yourself? We do have a choice as to how we deal with lies. I present some ideas and ask you to decide for yourself how you will deal with deception. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

People want to offer us advice, but some of it, if not a lot of it can be harmful, counterproductive and misguided. They mean well, but norms often think that "all you have to do is quit drinking and everything will be fine." In this podcast I don't offer advice, I present suggestions and ask YOU to practice making decisions on your own. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

It's not easy to see our own true reflection when we're mired in the midst of problems or a dependency. Here's a podcast that may help you see a better and more accurate reflection of yourself. I also offer a few ideas on how to get others to tell you what you look like through their eyes. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

It's wonderful to talk about all of our grand intentions but do we do anything about them? You're not weak, flawed, defective, lazy or stupid. It's not easy to follow through on our intentions. Here's a podcast that might stimulate your desire to get working on your "best intentions." http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? How will your life be? What will you be doing? Do you think it's farfetched to look that far into your own future? If you don't you very well may end up in the same place you are today or possibly even a worse spot. There are no guarantees of achieving your vision, but without a vision AND a plan of action who knows where you'll be. Looking that far into your future as a non-drinker can be scary---but are you serious about sobriety or not? http://LivingSoberSucks.com

This is a healthy delusion. Without it an individual has no hope or internal drive. But we need to be realistic about "how great it will be when."so we are not let down and thus disenchanted with other people, organizations and our own personal accomplishments. It's an old saying (and it's been said many different ways), but there is much truth to it: "The journey is often better than the destination." Enjoy the journey and the destination will be the reward. In this podcast I ask you to reflect on your own experiences. Which was better, the journey or the destination? Savor the accomplishments and do your best to enjoy the journey. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Simple does not mean easy. A lot of problems and dilemmas in life appear tough, but often the answers are simple. The tough part is executing the simple answers. Self-control is simple to understand, but it's not always easy or fun. Sobriety and living as a non-drinker follows the same simplicity. As in all of my podcasts, I ask you to reflect on your own life and do some thinking of your own. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Having a relapse at drinking (or any other self-destructive habit), rips at the mind and the soul. Once weakened it's easy to continue relapsing. Relapses CAN be avoided, and if you do happen to have one, it CAN be overcome. But how do you forgive yourself without giving yourself license to relapse again? If you're serious about living as a non-drinker then you need to do some serious thinking and realistically review and determine what changes YOU need to make. In this podcast I offer some ideas on how to make restitution and what you may need to do to avoid future relapses. WARNING: Strong adult language. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

There is no EXACT REPLACEMENT for the sensation of getting drunk or high. Trying to find one can lead to disappointment and even greater problems. We often seek exact replacements for things we lose in life (pets, friends, lovers, etc.), but that would be like someone else hoping to find an exact replacement of YOU. We also often rationalize our behavior with silly comparison statements such as, "I don't drink whiskey anymore, now I only drink beer." There are NO exact replacements, but you can discover alternatives and replacement activities---but accept that they will be different and enjoy them for what they are. In this podcast I ask you to think on your own. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

In this podcast I reflect on my 8 years of living as a non-drinker. It has been a curious journey with plenty of twists which I never expected---many good, some not so good. I review the good and the bad and pass along observations of what I've learned about making the best out of my sober lifestyle. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Everything doesn't always work out for the best, but you can make the best of how things work out. Will you adapt and evolve to make the best out of your sobriety, or will you sit back and wait for sobriety to bring you something? In this podcast I don't tell you what steps you should take or what you should do---I give some examples and ask you to think on your own. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Should you go public about your drinking issue or your intentions to not drink? This podcast doesn't give you the answer, it asks you to consider the pros and cons. Going public may help you stick to your word. You don't have to reveal all of your dirty secrets to the world, but there's nothing wrong with saying, "I want to be healthier. I want to improve my life." In this podcast I don't tell you what steps you should take or what you should do-I give some examples and ask you to think on your own. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Does the catchphrase, "One day at a time" limit your forward thinking? Consider reframing the definition and use it as a way to map out your plan. Establish a goal and determine how you will achieve the end goal by working at it "one day at a time." I also suggest ways to approach sobriety over shorter periods of time as opposed to overwhelming the mind with "I'll never drink again." http://LivingSoberSucks.com

Do societal pressures cause some of us to drink? While we CAN'T blame society for why we drink, our personality may have a lot to do with it. It doesn't really matter why you are a certain personality type, it's more important to discover what way you are. Regardless of whether you're an introvert or extrovert, learn to be comfortable with who you are. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

America has a long (and often dark) history with alcohol and bars. This podcast is a brief summary of that history. I also present ideas and pose questions about new ways we can congregate and socialize-without having to go to bars. http://LivingSoberSucks.com

This article isn't strictly about substance misuse; it's about trying to have a calmer, more enjoyable experience of living-learning to create happy feelings naturally. So much has changed and evolved in our society and culture, but our brains haven't kept up with the evolution. I get a bit technical with medical and psychology terms, but I explain this in simple words and relatable examples. Learn a few simple activities to help you feel better naturally. Only so much can be covered in a 10 minute podcast. This may be the launch pad for doing deeper research of your own. http://LivingSoberSucks.com